1 00:00:38,391 --> 00:00:40,828 I was sheriff of this county when I was 25. 2 00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:44,397 Hard to believe. 3 00:00:44,441 --> 00:00:47,052 Grandfather was a sheriff. Father, too. 4 00:00:47,095 --> 00:00:48,923 Ranchers all. 5 00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:52,057 Working the land through times flush and fallow. 6 00:00:55,234 --> 00:00:58,629 There's a natural order to things. 7 00:00:58,672 --> 00:01:01,109 We know it in our bones. 8 00:01:01,153 --> 00:01:03,721 Jesus was a man, not some bearded lady. 9 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:05,679 And just as water flows downhill, 10 00:01:05,723 --> 00:01:08,552 a husband is head of his household. 11 00:01:08,595 --> 00:01:11,598 Under him, the woman abides. 12 00:01:12,730 --> 00:01:14,427 She holds her virtue close 13 00:01:14,471 --> 00:01:17,648 until that matrimonial threshold is crossed, 14 00:01:17,691 --> 00:01:19,171 and then she opens to him, 15 00:01:19,214 --> 00:01:21,478 as the flower opens to the sun. 16 00:01:21,521 --> 00:01:22,783 And in exchange, 17 00:01:22,827 --> 00:01:25,612 the man shelters and protects his female, 18 00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:28,441 as the sword has its sheath. 19 00:01:28,485 --> 00:01:31,052 Okay, but what I'm saying is, you... 20 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:36,144 No. He only raises his hand to her 21 00:01:36,188 --> 00:01:38,103 when she forgets her place and acts the man. 22 00:01:38,146 --> 00:01:41,715 And-and then only for instruction, 23 00:01:41,759 --> 00:01:45,676 never taking any pleasure or satisfaction from the task. 24 00:01:45,719 --> 00:01:47,460 Whereas you, son, 25 00:01:47,504 --> 00:01:50,550 seem to have played a Tommy Lee drum solo 26 00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:53,118 all over your missus's facade. 27 00:01:53,161 --> 00:01:55,860 - This... I fell is all. - Hey, quiet now. 28 00:01:55,903 --> 00:01:58,428 Sheriff's talking. 29 00:01:58,471 --> 00:02:01,822 Come here. Take comfort, dear. 30 00:02:01,866 --> 00:02:04,303 Daughter, these hard times are over. 31 00:02:04,347 --> 00:02:06,087 All right? 32 00:02:06,131 --> 00:02:07,959 I'll see to your husband's instruction myself. 33 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,308 What 'struction? 34 00:02:14,574 --> 00:02:16,446 Now, be honest. 35 00:02:16,489 --> 00:02:18,752 Do you ever question your man's supremacy 36 00:02:18,796 --> 00:02:20,406 when he speaks? 37 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,800 Just when he drinks or with the crank, you know? 38 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,584 I try to stay out of the way, but... 39 00:02:25,629 --> 00:02:27,457 Don't hurt him. 40 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,763 - We got three boys who need a daddy. - Okay. 41 00:02:29,807 --> 00:02:32,375 Okay. Okay. 42 00:02:39,469 --> 00:02:41,993 Yeah. 43 00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,474 Thank you. You got any of that huckleberry pie? 44 00:02:44,517 --> 00:02:47,172 - Sure. - That's great. 45 00:02:49,479 --> 00:02:52,307 Lookit, dick cheese, I know you... 46 00:02:52,351 --> 00:02:53,744 Quiet. 47 00:02:56,268 --> 00:02:59,706 Go home. Fix a meal. 48 00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:01,665 Pray on it before you take the first bite. 49 00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:04,276 Forgiveness. Tend to his burns. 50 00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:06,321 Try to be deferential. 51 00:03:06,365 --> 00:03:08,889 Cater to his needs as a man with your mouth 52 00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:10,630 in order to sow harmony. 53 00:03:10,674 --> 00:03:13,894 I'll come by in the morning, see if the lesson stuck. 54 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:17,289 Go on. 55 00:03:17,332 --> 00:03:18,551 Go. 56 00:03:30,868 --> 00:03:32,435 They missed her. 57 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:54,152 What happened? 58 00:03:56,110 --> 00:04:00,419 You send a man to do a job without all the information, 59 00:04:00,463 --> 00:04:03,901 how can the job be done? 60 00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,250 Yeah, what are you? 61 00:04:06,207 --> 00:04:08,296 The Riddler? 62 00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:12,344 You say the woman is a woman, a... 63 00:04:12,387 --> 00:04:14,215 How do you... ? 64 00:04:14,259 --> 00:04:16,870 Housewife. 65 00:04:16,914 --> 00:04:22,920 Never do you mention she is, for real, a tiger. 66 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,923 You're saying you couldn't handle some girl? 67 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,012 100 pounds soaking wet? 68 00:04:29,404 --> 00:04:30,928 Huh? 69 00:04:33,452 --> 00:04:37,021 It was on the wire this morning. 70 00:04:37,064 --> 00:04:40,546 This half-wit shot up a filling station outside Beulah. 71 00:04:40,590 --> 00:04:42,417 Murdered the clerk. 72 00:04:42,461 --> 00:04:44,594 Killed a state trooper. 73 00:04:44,637 --> 00:04:46,073 Put a hole in the leg of another. 74 00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:49,903 And this retard's partner with a cracked skull 75 00:04:49,947 --> 00:04:51,470 and his face half burned off in the morgue. 76 00:04:51,514 --> 00:04:54,299 You say housewife, so I bring one guy. 77 00:04:54,342 --> 00:04:56,736 You say tiger... 78 00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:57,911 that's a different guy. 79 00:04:57,955 --> 00:05:00,348 Cost you three times. 80 00:05:00,392 --> 00:05:03,047 Did they take her? The police? 81 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:05,049 Fled on foot. 82 00:05:05,092 --> 00:05:07,442 Possibly home. 83 00:05:07,486 --> 00:05:09,183 Possibly to the wind. 84 00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:11,838 Could you find her? 85 00:05:11,882 --> 00:05:14,580 She could be found. 86 00:05:14,624 --> 00:05:17,540 Where people go, the thoughts they have, 87 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:20,107 these are known to me. 88 00:05:20,151 --> 00:05:21,326 Instincts. 89 00:05:21,369 --> 00:05:23,676 Who flees, who fights. 90 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:27,985 It's a question of price. 91 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:31,423 The job it was, not the job you said. 92 00:05:31,466 --> 00:05:33,512 Pain and suffering. 93 00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:36,036 A man, missing an appendage, 94 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,430 self-sewing his own skin. 95 00:05:38,473 --> 00:05:40,171 Scarred for life, he's told. 96 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:43,696 And then this new ask. 97 00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:45,350 Hunting a tiger. 98 00:05:45,393 --> 00:05:48,309 And it forces the man to ask: 99 00:05:48,353 --> 00:05:51,095 why you want the tiger? 100 00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:54,533 She's my wife. 101 00:05:54,577 --> 00:05:55,839 Don't tell him shit. 102 00:05:55,882 --> 00:05:57,275 I already said I can handle this. 103 00:05:57,318 --> 00:05:59,233 We know where she lives now. Her alias. 104 00:06:03,716 --> 00:06:06,545 She made vows to me. 105 00:06:06,589 --> 00:06:08,286 A pledge. 106 00:06:08,329 --> 00:06:11,463 In sickness and in health. 107 00:06:11,506 --> 00:06:14,945 Consider it a debt unpaid, leaving me in limbo. 108 00:06:14,988 --> 00:06:17,600 Husband yes or husband no. 109 00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:21,299 See, she hid from me nine, ten years. 110 00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:25,695 Interest accrued. 111 00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:28,785 Until the debt could no longer be paid with money. 112 00:06:32,702 --> 00:06:36,314 Then, one day, there she is, fingerprints in the system. 113 00:06:36,357 --> 00:06:38,490 Now the limbo can end, 114 00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:41,449 the debt can be collected. 115 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,671 Tell me something, friend. 116 00:06:47,804 --> 00:06:49,719 If a man is pure, 117 00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:52,504 his actions are only ever good. 118 00:06:53,461 --> 00:06:55,550 You believe that? 119 00:06:57,683 --> 00:07:00,164 I'm a nihilist. 120 00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:01,905 What the fuck does that mean? 121 00:07:01,948 --> 00:07:03,254 I believe in nothing. 122 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,603 You believe in money. 123 00:07:06,474 --> 00:07:08,172 Yeah? 124 00:07:14,221 --> 00:07:16,659 Well, thanks for your help. 125 00:07:17,877 --> 00:07:19,531 Go on with Gator. He'll get you paid. 126 00:07:19,574 --> 00:07:20,837 Dad. 127 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,143 Original plus pain and suffering. 128 00:07:23,187 --> 00:07:25,058 Yeah, of course. 129 00:07:25,102 --> 00:07:27,452 Take it out of the rainy day fund. 130 00:07:27,495 --> 00:07:29,106 Fixing place. 131 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:32,805 Fixing place. Right. 132 00:07:32,849 --> 00:07:34,807 Come on, numbnuts. 133 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:45,992 A man is grateful. 134 00:08:01,007 --> 00:08:04,402 I'm not saying sorry, but you understand. 135 00:08:04,445 --> 00:08:06,143 I had to rough you up a little back there. 136 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,233 You coming up snake eyes and all. 137 00:08:12,497 --> 00:08:15,805 With her being such a tiny bird, which... 138 00:08:18,503 --> 00:08:20,113 You know... 139 00:08:21,462 --> 00:08:23,900 they used to be dinosaurs. 140 00:08:27,338 --> 00:08:29,732 Hundreds okay? 141 00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:42,005 Surprise, shitbird. 142 00:09:03,853 --> 00:09:06,725 - What's going on, Roy? - Go on, get back to the house now. 143 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:36,320 Like we said, this is all just a misunderstanding. 144 00:09:36,363 --> 00:09:37,843 Had a bad day is all. 145 00:09:43,196 --> 00:09:44,415 A bad day? 146 00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,633 Yeah. 147 00:09:45,677 --> 00:09:47,810 Left the house a mess. 148 00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:50,943 Last I checked, weren't a crime. 149 00:09:50,987 --> 00:09:52,292 No, ma'am. 150 00:09:52,336 --> 00:09:54,381 I'm a recidivist on that count myself. 151 00:09:54,425 --> 00:09:55,687 Laundry especially. 152 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,516 Oh, laundry. 153 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:01,127 But what I'm concerned about is the blood. 154 00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:03,173 Told you, I cut my feet up on some glass. 155 00:10:03,216 --> 00:10:04,739 You did. 156 00:10:04,783 --> 00:10:07,612 And I see the wounds. 157 00:10:07,655 --> 00:10:08,918 But what I'm dealing with is the fact 158 00:10:08,961 --> 00:10:10,702 that the blood on your entry floor 159 00:10:10,745 --> 00:10:12,399 is different than the blood type we have on record for you. 160 00:10:12,443 --> 00:10:13,792 Records? 161 00:10:13,836 --> 00:10:15,968 Those... 162 00:10:16,012 --> 00:10:19,102 You know, I heard a man went into the hospital in St. Paul 163 00:10:19,145 --> 00:10:21,104 fer a kidney transplant, 164 00:10:21,147 --> 00:10:22,801 he ended up with someone else's brain. 165 00:10:22,845 --> 00:10:25,325 - No way. - Yeah. 166 00:10:25,369 --> 00:10:26,544 Well, I'm not sure... 167 00:10:26,587 --> 00:10:29,025 That don't sound accurate. 168 00:10:29,068 --> 00:10:32,767 What I'm saying is, hospitals make mistakes. 169 00:10:32,811 --> 00:10:35,683 Then there's the hair DNA from the balaclava in your boudoir. 170 00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:37,511 Told you, I bought that secondhand. 171 00:10:41,689 --> 00:10:43,953 You know, it's my fault. 172 00:10:43,996 --> 00:10:47,521 You know, I came home, front door was wide open, uh, 173 00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,959 all the... blood. 174 00:10:50,002 --> 00:10:53,179 Uh, I-I'm not ashamed to say I panicked. 175 00:10:53,223 --> 00:10:54,789 But, you know, Dot's home, 176 00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,661 and, uh, that's all that matters. 177 00:10:56,704 --> 00:10:58,968 So, uh, whatever the... 178 00:10:59,011 --> 00:11:01,796 You know, she's my wife. And I believe her. 179 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:05,496 So, if there's a form or something I can sign to... 180 00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,455 you know, drop the charges... 181 00:11:08,499 --> 00:11:10,370 That's not how this works. 182 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:16,028 - I got to... - Hmm? 183 00:11:16,072 --> 00:11:18,161 It's almost time for pickup. 184 00:11:18,204 --> 00:11:22,382 I told Scotty we could go to DQ after school, so... 185 00:11:25,777 --> 00:11:27,605 Well, okay, then. 186 00:11:27,648 --> 00:11:29,172 Thanks for your time. 187 00:11:29,215 --> 00:11:30,913 Mm-hmm. 188 00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:32,740 We're reviewing traffic cameras in the neighborhood, 189 00:11:32,741 --> 00:11:33,741 so if I have any more questions... 190 00:11:33,742 --> 00:11:35,178 No. 191 00:11:35,221 --> 00:11:37,267 She's... 192 00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:39,922 Wayne, she's not listening to me. 193 00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:42,098 Uh, Danish Graves is our attorney, 194 00:11:42,141 --> 00:11:44,100 so if you need to contact us again, 195 00:11:44,143 --> 00:11:46,798 which you shouldn't, uh... 196 00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,670 Okay, then. 197 00:12:00,943 --> 00:12:03,467 So, it's a puzzler. 198 00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:05,034 Spoke to Wayne. 199 00:12:05,077 --> 00:12:06,861 Dot's back. 200 00:12:06,905 --> 00:12:08,428 She's what now? 201 00:12:08,472 --> 00:12:10,474 Yeah, came home on her own. 202 00:12:10,517 --> 00:12:12,432 A little bruised. 203 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,957 Bloody feet. 204 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,480 She escaped? 205 00:12:16,523 --> 00:12:17,655 Well, that's the conundrum. 206 00:12:17,698 --> 00:12:19,309 Says she wasn't taken. 207 00:12:19,352 --> 00:12:22,399 Says it was just a driving around type scenario. 208 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,835 Getting her head straight. 209 00:12:23,878 --> 00:12:25,793 Bullshit. 210 00:12:25,837 --> 00:12:28,535 You saw the police report. 211 00:12:28,579 --> 00:12:30,276 Something's fishy here. 212 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,452 Agreed. 213 00:12:32,496 --> 00:12:34,150 I smell a rat. 214 00:12:34,193 --> 00:12:36,413 You think... 215 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,805 Well, what do you think? 216 00:12:37,849 --> 00:12:41,113 A play, maybe. 217 00:12:41,157 --> 00:12:43,811 Extortion, but she got cold feet. 218 00:12:43,855 --> 00:12:45,465 Kidnapped herself, you're thinking? 219 00:12:45,509 --> 00:12:48,773 I mean, what do we know about this girl, really? 220 00:12:48,816 --> 00:12:51,297 Well, I did the background check when they got engaged. 221 00:12:51,341 --> 00:12:53,169 Well, you said yourself, not much there. 222 00:12:53,212 --> 00:12:54,605 Pretty thin, for sure. 223 00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:56,128 Just the birth certificate, 224 00:12:56,172 --> 00:12:57,912 a few school records, previous addresses. 225 00:12:57,956 --> 00:13:00,045 Well, it's too good to be true, now I'm thinking. 226 00:13:00,089 --> 00:13:01,916 So, what do we... ? 227 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,572 Tell you what we don't want... police digging their noses 228 00:13:05,616 --> 00:13:06,965 into other people's business. 229 00:13:07,009 --> 00:13:08,706 Asking questions that can't be answered. 230 00:13:08,749 --> 00:13:10,012 Then what? 231 00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:13,841 Possibly this thing goes federal. 232 00:13:13,885 --> 00:13:15,887 You know, wrong person makes a phone call. 233 00:13:17,454 --> 00:13:18,803 You don't think Wayne's... 234 00:13:18,846 --> 00:13:21,284 Who knows what to think? 235 00:13:21,327 --> 00:13:23,373 He's got the dealership, 236 00:13:23,416 --> 00:13:26,245 a decent roof over their head, 237 00:13:26,289 --> 00:13:31,294 but maybe she's pushing him for more. 238 00:13:31,337 --> 00:13:33,905 Putting ideas in his head. 239 00:13:33,948 --> 00:13:36,560 Eh... I don't know. 240 00:13:36,603 --> 00:13:39,824 So we separate 'em, like the cops. 241 00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:42,522 You brace him. I go at her. 242 00:13:42,566 --> 00:13:44,611 Get to the bottom of things. 243 00:13:44,655 --> 00:13:46,135 If this deal's for real 244 00:13:46,178 --> 00:13:48,833 and they got a notion to take what's mine, 245 00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:51,183 we need to nip it in the bud. 246 00:13:51,227 --> 00:13:52,793 Keep things in-house. 247 00:13:52,837 --> 00:13:55,187 Ah, geez. 248 00:13:55,231 --> 00:13:57,798 Everything was going along just fine, too. 249 00:13:57,842 --> 00:13:59,104 And now, what do you... 250 00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:02,934 This... enemy within situation. 251 00:14:02,977 --> 00:14:07,069 She made promises. To me. 252 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,722 My son. 253 00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:11,421 To have and to hold. 254 00:14:11,464 --> 00:14:13,988 For richer and poorer. 255 00:14:15,207 --> 00:14:17,557 And that's a debt we're gonna collect. 256 00:15:25,886 --> 00:15:27,975 You gonna make it there, sunshine? 257 00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:32,110 Fucker got the drop on me. 258 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:36,462 Tell me her name again? 259 00:15:36,506 --> 00:15:40,031 Uh, goes by Dorothy Lyon now. 260 00:15:40,074 --> 00:15:42,120 Lives in a suburb outside the Twin Cities. 261 00:15:42,164 --> 00:15:43,600 Married, you said? 262 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,210 Going on ten years. 263 00:15:45,254 --> 00:15:48,300 Husband owns a car dealership, some kind of... 264 00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:50,302 uh, Korean model. 265 00:15:50,346 --> 00:15:51,608 Koreans make cars? 266 00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,914 I guess. 267 00:15:53,958 --> 00:15:55,264 Anyway, she's got a daughter 268 00:15:55,307 --> 00:15:58,092 named Scotty. She's about nine. 269 00:16:06,492 --> 00:16:08,929 Roy, we got FBI here. 270 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:14,979 Let's send 'em up. 271 00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:17,547 What do you want me to... ? 272 00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:18,722 Ah, don't worry about it. 273 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,558 Hard day at the office. 274 00:16:28,601 --> 00:16:31,256 Like the sign says, he's a hard man for hard times. 275 00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,563 And by "he" I mean me. 276 00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:42,136 Agent "Ja-Queen." 277 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:44,400 It's Joaquin. 278 00:16:44,443 --> 00:16:45,879 This is Agent Meyer. 279 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:47,316 We're new in the Fargo office. 280 00:16:47,359 --> 00:16:48,795 We thought we'd come by, 281 00:16:48,839 --> 00:16:50,971 see why you aren't enforcing any of our laws. 282 00:16:51,015 --> 00:16:52,582 What laws? 283 00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:54,323 Oh, you know, gun laws, drug laws. 284 00:16:54,366 --> 00:16:56,977 Any of the half-dozen other American laws 285 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,110 passed and ratified by the United States government 286 00:16:59,153 --> 00:17:01,634 that you don't seem to recognize. 287 00:17:01,678 --> 00:17:03,636 Well, Agent Ja-Queen, I think you'll find 288 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,682 that there is no one on God's green earth 289 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,161 who is a greater enforcer of the laws of this land 290 00:17:07,205 --> 00:17:08,641 than Roy Tillman. 291 00:17:08,685 --> 00:17:10,730 Why do I feel like there's a "but" here? 292 00:17:10,774 --> 00:17:11,862 But... 293 00:17:13,646 --> 00:17:17,824 ... what you need to know is that I amthe law of the land. 294 00:17:17,868 --> 00:17:20,610 Elected by the residents of this county 295 00:17:20,653 --> 00:17:22,742 to interpret and enforce the Constitution 296 00:17:22,786 --> 00:17:26,224 given unto us by Almighty God. 297 00:17:26,268 --> 00:17:28,052 Mm-hmm. 298 00:17:28,095 --> 00:17:30,010 Freedom. 299 00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:31,534 Amen. 300 00:17:31,577 --> 00:17:33,840 You know, I hear that word a lot out here. 301 00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:35,451 I'm curious... 302 00:17:35,494 --> 00:17:37,279 what you think it means. 303 00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:39,019 Agent, if you don't know what freedom is, 304 00:17:39,063 --> 00:17:40,325 I don't think me saying the words out loud 305 00:17:40,369 --> 00:17:42,109 is gonna teach you. 306 00:17:44,242 --> 00:17:46,853 Why don't you go and do your chores? 307 00:17:55,906 --> 00:17:57,995 Seriously? 308 00:17:59,213 --> 00:18:01,041 Do you want a towel, or... ? 309 00:18:01,085 --> 00:18:03,043 Does my discussing matters of state 310 00:18:03,087 --> 00:18:05,394 in moist repose bother you? 311 00:18:15,055 --> 00:18:16,579 Jesus. 312 00:18:28,155 --> 00:18:29,722 Now, what is it you wanted to discuss? 313 00:18:29,766 --> 00:18:31,724 Well, like I said, we're new in town. 314 00:18:31,768 --> 00:18:34,292 We thought we'd come open a collegial dialogue. 315 00:18:34,336 --> 00:18:36,338 Maybe let you know we're looking into the practices 316 00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:38,905 - of your office. - Very unorthodox practices. 317 00:18:38,949 --> 00:18:40,820 Possibly illegal. 318 00:18:40,864 --> 00:18:44,389 Illegal according to who? 319 00:18:44,433 --> 00:18:45,608 Maybe you weren't paying attention, 320 00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:47,131 but I am the law around here. 321 00:18:47,174 --> 00:18:49,176 So you said. 322 00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:51,918 Removable only by the governor or my constituents, 323 00:18:51,962 --> 00:18:53,529 who love me, by the way, 324 00:18:53,572 --> 00:18:56,401 because I say what I want and I do as I please. 325 00:18:56,445 --> 00:18:58,229 And I know the difference between right and wrong. 326 00:18:58,272 --> 00:19:00,231 Don't you mean legal and illegal? 327 00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:04,714 Well... 328 00:19:04,757 --> 00:19:07,151 did you know that in North Dakota it is illegal 329 00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:08,500 for a charitable group to hold 330 00:19:08,544 --> 00:19:11,721 more than two poker games a year? 331 00:19:11,764 --> 00:19:14,506 And similarly, it is illegal 332 00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,856 to keep an elk in a sandbox in your own backyard. 333 00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,163 I shit you not. 334 00:19:19,206 --> 00:19:20,817 Now, if you were to own a tavern 335 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,732 and serve beer and pretzels at the same time, 336 00:19:22,775 --> 00:19:23,775 I could arrest you. 337 00:19:23,776 --> 00:19:26,300 And in Waverly... 338 00:19:26,344 --> 00:19:31,436 the law forbids horses from sleeping in bathtubs. 339 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,786 You beginning to get the drift here? 340 00:19:35,266 --> 00:19:37,790 I'm a sheriff of the American Constitution. 341 00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:40,880 Bound by duty, blood, and tradition 342 00:19:40,924 --> 00:19:44,318 to enforce what is right and to prosecute what is wrong. 343 00:19:44,362 --> 00:19:46,408 And the law, my friends... 344 00:19:47,409 --> 00:19:49,280 ... has very little to do with it. 345 00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:55,329 So, Ja-Queen, Mrs. Ja-Queen, 346 00:19:55,373 --> 00:19:57,375 if you'll excuse me, 347 00:19:57,419 --> 00:19:59,203 I have some justice to administer. 348 00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,293 You can see yourself out. 349 00:20:22,792 --> 00:20:25,055 What do you say next time we get an extra Blizzard 350 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,710 and hold it upside down to see how long it takes 351 00:20:27,753 --> 00:20:29,451 for the stuffing to come out, huh? 352 00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:31,409 - Yeah. - Yeah. 353 00:20:31,453 --> 00:20:33,977 Your tea selection is atrocious. 354 00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:35,979 How did you get in here? 355 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,463 Hey, Nana. 356 00:20:42,725 --> 00:20:45,336 Are you wearing lipstick? 357 00:20:45,379 --> 00:20:47,294 That's ketchup. We had curly fries. 358 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,692 Like I said, how come you're in my home? 359 00:20:53,736 --> 00:20:55,694 Of course I have a key. 360 00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:58,175 It's my son's house. 361 00:20:58,218 --> 00:21:01,613 Still, sorry if-if we startled you. 362 00:21:01,657 --> 00:21:03,354 Imagine intruders breaking into your house 363 00:21:03,397 --> 00:21:05,922 twice in one week. 364 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,054 Oh, wait. 365 00:21:09,055 --> 00:21:11,449 That didn't happen. 366 00:21:13,364 --> 00:21:14,626 What do you want? 367 00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:20,110 Jerome, could you see my granddaughter to her room? 368 00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:22,591 Maybe she wants to show you her dolls. 369 00:21:22,634 --> 00:21:26,072 I don't have dolls, Nana. I like ninjas. 370 00:21:26,116 --> 00:21:27,813 Is that some kind of cat? 371 00:21:27,857 --> 00:21:29,162 You're silly. 372 00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:31,687 Come on, young Skywalker. 373 00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:35,734 I'll show you how a true samurai fights, hmm? 374 00:21:35,778 --> 00:21:38,737 Whoa. 375 00:21:43,568 --> 00:21:48,094 Well, I guess with you when it rains it pours. 376 00:21:48,138 --> 00:21:49,879 That... 377 00:21:52,098 --> 00:21:55,972 I mean, this is all just a bunch of silliness. 378 00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:59,584 Honestly, I'm embarrassed by all the fuss. 379 00:21:59,628 --> 00:22:01,499 Signs of a break-in, I'm told. 380 00:22:01,543 --> 00:22:04,981 Evidence you fought back, which good for you. 381 00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:06,983 I'd have skinned 'em where they stood. 382 00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:08,941 Please. 383 00:22:08,985 --> 00:22:10,726 More like Mama had a tantrum 384 00:22:10,769 --> 00:22:13,163 and it all got blowed out of proportion. 385 00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:16,601 Honestly, like a snowball rolling downhill. 386 00:22:16,645 --> 00:22:20,039 Well, either you got a screw loose, 387 00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:23,782 or somebody came for you and you got away... 388 00:22:23,826 --> 00:22:25,392 and now you're lying about it. 389 00:22:25,436 --> 00:22:27,220 Mom. 390 00:22:27,264 --> 00:22:29,440 No. 391 00:22:29,483 --> 00:22:31,398 I'm not your mom. 392 00:22:31,442 --> 00:22:35,098 You're married to my son, mother to my granddaughter. 393 00:22:35,141 --> 00:22:37,491 I wanted a girl with papers, 394 00:22:37,535 --> 00:22:40,103 but my Wayne always liked a sassy thing 395 00:22:40,146 --> 00:22:42,584 with a tight caboose, so here you are. 396 00:22:46,631 --> 00:22:49,503 Haven't you ever had one of those days? 397 00:22:51,897 --> 00:22:55,248 So what if I do got a screw loose? 398 00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:57,903 Stress and the like. 399 00:22:57,947 --> 00:23:00,863 I'm holding up my end of the deal. 400 00:23:00,906 --> 00:23:02,647 We're man and wife, 401 00:23:02,691 --> 00:23:04,736 him and me, 402 00:23:04,780 --> 00:23:06,129 and he loves me. 403 00:23:06,172 --> 00:23:08,740 There are ways we could change that. 404 00:23:08,784 --> 00:23:10,568 The holy bond. 405 00:23:10,612 --> 00:23:12,875 Revocation of the trust. 406 00:23:12,918 --> 00:23:14,398 And cut you both out of the will, 407 00:23:14,441 --> 00:23:15,921 see if that moves the marker. 408 00:23:15,965 --> 00:23:17,183 What are you saying? 409 00:23:17,227 --> 00:23:19,621 I'm saying I don't trust you. 410 00:23:19,664 --> 00:23:21,231 You're up to something. 411 00:23:21,274 --> 00:23:24,147 And I won't have you dragging my son down. 412 00:23:24,190 --> 00:23:25,801 So... 413 00:23:25,844 --> 00:23:27,498 best you make excuses, 414 00:23:27,541 --> 00:23:31,937 you go back to wherever it is you were before you met. 415 00:23:31,981 --> 00:23:36,725 If you go easy, I could even see my way to... 416 00:23:36,768 --> 00:23:41,643 staking you for the first... two years. 417 00:23:43,514 --> 00:23:45,037 Listen, bitch. 418 00:23:46,604 --> 00:23:50,739 I've climbed through six kinds of hell to get where I am. 419 00:23:50,782 --> 00:23:53,655 And no Ivy League royal wannabe is gonna run me off 420 00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:55,657 just because she doesn't like the way I smell. 421 00:23:57,833 --> 00:24:00,836 If you want to tussle with me... 422 00:24:00,879 --> 00:24:05,101 ... you better sleep with both eyes open. 423 00:24:05,144 --> 00:24:10,106 Because nobody takes what's mine and lives. 424 00:24:16,242 --> 00:24:18,375 Anyhoo... 425 00:24:18,418 --> 00:24:20,333 thanks for stopping by. 426 00:24:21,247 --> 00:24:22,684 Dinner Sunday? 427 00:24:23,772 --> 00:24:26,209 I'll bring my blue salad. 428 00:24:27,297 --> 00:24:29,429 Jerome. 429 00:24:29,473 --> 00:24:31,344 We're leaving. 430 00:24:34,913 --> 00:24:37,220 Always nice to see you, dear. 431 00:24:39,265 --> 00:24:43,226 Maybe think about getting some iron into your diet. 432 00:24:43,269 --> 00:24:45,358 You look like a corpse. 433 00:25:29,185 --> 00:25:30,360 Mom? 434 00:25:30,403 --> 00:25:32,144 Ooh. 435 00:25:35,844 --> 00:25:36,845 I'm hungry. 436 00:25:36,888 --> 00:25:38,672 What? 437 00:25:38,716 --> 00:25:40,500 You just had DQ. 438 00:25:40,544 --> 00:25:42,459 It didn't take. 439 00:25:42,502 --> 00:25:45,288 Oh. What's going on down there? 440 00:25:45,331 --> 00:25:46,898 A wedgie. 441 00:25:51,598 --> 00:25:53,339 Tell you what. 442 00:25:53,383 --> 00:25:56,168 How about we make a vegetable medley 443 00:25:56,212 --> 00:25:59,911 with carrot sticks and the bell peppers you like? 444 00:25:59,955 --> 00:26:02,958 And then you can help Mom do some kind of craft project. 445 00:26:03,001 --> 00:26:04,698 What kind of craft project? 446 00:26:04,742 --> 00:26:08,050 You're gonna have to go downstairs to find out. 447 00:26:09,138 --> 00:26:11,096 Come on. 448 00:26:23,021 --> 00:26:25,415 Ah! Bye-bye. 449 00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:27,939 Nice done. 450 00:26:32,770 --> 00:26:34,337 Awesome. 451 00:26:44,869 --> 00:26:46,958 Ooh. 452 00:27:27,216 --> 00:27:29,000 - You ready? - Yeah. 453 00:27:33,178 --> 00:27:35,093 Whoa. 454 00:27:55,505 --> 00:27:57,550 Keep your hands off the ball chain, huh? 455 00:27:57,594 --> 00:28:00,727 Mama doesn't want you getting smooshed like a bug. 456 00:28:01,859 --> 00:28:04,427 Can we do my room next? 457 00:28:04,470 --> 00:28:06,516 Oh, yeah. 458 00:28:06,559 --> 00:28:08,126 Let's go. 459 00:28:08,170 --> 00:28:09,823 Race you. 460 00:28:14,654 --> 00:28:19,311 Don't forget our special 30% off winter deal on... 461 00:28:19,355 --> 00:28:22,532 Great deal, heck of a deal. 462 00:28:22,575 --> 00:28:25,970 Oh, sure, yeah, I got those VIN numbers right here. 463 00:28:28,016 --> 00:28:30,714 Actually, Phil, I'll have to call you back. 464 00:28:30,757 --> 00:28:33,238 All right. 465 00:28:33,282 --> 00:28:35,414 Finally saw the light on that Porsche, did you? 466 00:28:36,763 --> 00:28:39,157 What are you, uh... ? 467 00:28:39,201 --> 00:28:41,812 - What are you... ? - I got some business to discuss, Wayne. 468 00:28:41,855 --> 00:28:43,074 Ah. 469 00:28:44,119 --> 00:28:46,208 Is he on? 470 00:28:46,251 --> 00:28:47,818 Mom? 471 00:28:47,861 --> 00:28:49,689 Got a problem here, kid. Need your help with it. 472 00:28:49,733 --> 00:28:50,864 Of course, yeah. 473 00:28:50,908 --> 00:28:52,562 Is it that landscaper again? 474 00:28:52,605 --> 00:28:54,520 No, it's not the landscaper, moron. 475 00:28:54,564 --> 00:28:56,609 It's your wife. 476 00:28:56,653 --> 00:28:58,916 Now hold on. That's, uh... 477 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,310 This whole kidnapping that ain't a kidnapping thing, 478 00:29:01,353 --> 00:29:03,312 well, there's something fishy about that. 479 00:29:03,355 --> 00:29:05,575 Full low tide, if you ask me. 480 00:29:05,618 --> 00:29:06,880 Like the dog's breath. 481 00:29:06,924 --> 00:29:08,752 Now, we talked about this, uh... 482 00:29:08,795 --> 00:29:10,362 She had a bad day. 483 00:29:10,406 --> 00:29:11,624 Son. 484 00:29:11,668 --> 00:29:13,191 I talked to the police. 485 00:29:13,235 --> 00:29:15,454 They got hard evidence your wife was abducted. 486 00:29:15,498 --> 00:29:17,369 Not to mention, 487 00:29:17,413 --> 00:29:19,371 I just learned they think they got one of the guys 488 00:29:19,415 --> 00:29:22,113 on a slab over in North Dakota. 489 00:29:22,157 --> 00:29:24,768 Broke his skull in the commode of a filling station. 490 00:29:26,552 --> 00:29:28,772 - G... geez. - Yeah, officer on the scene said 491 00:29:28,815 --> 00:29:31,470 there was a female present who matches Dot. 492 00:29:31,514 --> 00:29:35,822 Get your head out of your ass, kid. 493 00:29:35,866 --> 00:29:38,129 She's making a play here, your missus. 494 00:29:38,173 --> 00:29:39,652 In cahoots with the kidnappers maybe, 495 00:29:39,696 --> 00:29:43,352 or maybe just seizing the opportunity. 496 00:29:43,395 --> 00:29:44,788 I'm not sure what or why. 497 00:29:44,831 --> 00:29:45,963 But any way you tell the story, 498 00:29:46,007 --> 00:29:47,921 it ends with me writing a check. 499 00:29:47,965 --> 00:29:51,316 Oh, come on now, Ma, n-not everything's about money. 500 00:29:52,448 --> 00:29:53,492 Slap him. 501 00:29:53,536 --> 00:29:56,626 I'm... sorry? 502 00:29:56,669 --> 00:29:57,757 You heard me. 503 00:29:57,801 --> 00:29:59,324 My son needs a slap 504 00:29:59,368 --> 00:30:00,804 and I'm not there to give it to him. 505 00:30:00,847 --> 00:30:02,153 So, as my attorney, I authorize you 506 00:30:02,197 --> 00:30:04,460 to knock his fucking block off. 507 00:30:09,073 --> 00:30:10,596 No. 508 00:30:12,368 --> 00:30:13,424 No, no, no, no, no, no. 509 00:30:13,425 --> 00:30:14,948 Wait a minute... Aah! 510 00:30:16,863 --> 00:30:18,082 Ow. 511 00:30:18,126 --> 00:30:19,649 Listen to me, boy. 512 00:30:19,692 --> 00:30:21,564 You're back at the kiddie table on this one. 513 00:30:21,607 --> 00:30:23,392 That's official. 514 00:30:23,435 --> 00:30:26,612 Now shut your hole and listen to me talk. 515 00:30:34,881 --> 00:30:36,100 Trooper? 516 00:30:36,144 --> 00:30:38,015 Saved. 517 00:30:38,059 --> 00:30:40,017 From what? 518 00:30:40,061 --> 00:30:42,019 Concord grape, I think. 519 00:30:42,063 --> 00:30:44,239 Hmm. 520 00:30:44,282 --> 00:30:47,068 How... may I help you? 521 00:30:47,111 --> 00:30:48,678 Sure, well, I'm, uh, Deputy Olmstead, 522 00:30:48,721 --> 00:30:50,462 Scandia Police Department over in Minnesota. 523 00:30:50,506 --> 00:30:51,942 I wanted to ask you some questions 524 00:30:51,985 --> 00:30:53,291 about events that transpired last night. 525 00:30:53,335 --> 00:30:55,119 You and everybody else. 526 00:30:55,163 --> 00:30:57,208 Well, sir, I think I might have a piece of your puzzle. 527 00:30:57,252 --> 00:31:00,037 To wit, the identity of the missing female you assisted. 528 00:31:00,081 --> 00:31:03,432 If I'm right, which I think I am. 529 00:31:03,475 --> 00:31:05,564 Color me intrigued. 530 00:31:05,608 --> 00:31:07,958 Taken from her home yesterday afternoon by two men, we think. 531 00:31:08,001 --> 00:31:09,742 We found blood from one. 532 00:31:09,786 --> 00:31:12,310 Looks like she burned the other fella's face pretty bad. 533 00:31:12,354 --> 00:31:13,920 Sounds like my girl. 534 00:31:13,964 --> 00:31:15,444 Rambo, basically. 535 00:31:15,487 --> 00:31:19,622 Or, uh, the other fella from the TV, uh... 536 00:31:19,665 --> 00:31:21,972 - MacGyver. - Well, I got a picture. 537 00:31:22,015 --> 00:31:23,104 Mm. 538 00:31:24,453 --> 00:31:25,541 What do you know? 539 00:31:26,716 --> 00:31:28,500 It's a party. 540 00:31:28,544 --> 00:31:31,068 Indira Olmstead, Scandia Police Department. 541 00:31:31,112 --> 00:31:33,418 Ah. City girl. 542 00:31:33,462 --> 00:31:35,420 Well, we prefer "women" these days. 543 00:31:35,464 --> 00:31:37,379 But the rest is accurate. 544 00:31:37,422 --> 00:31:38,815 How can we help you, stranger? 545 00:31:38,858 --> 00:31:42,558 Sheriff's Deputy, Stark County. 546 00:31:42,601 --> 00:31:45,213 Sounds like you had a mix-up in my neck of the woods last night, 547 00:31:45,256 --> 00:31:48,259 which we run a pretty tight ship, so... 548 00:31:48,303 --> 00:31:50,218 I take it personal when bad men appear. 549 00:31:50,261 --> 00:31:52,481 This job will grind you down, you take it too personal. 550 00:31:52,524 --> 00:31:56,137 What can I say? I like being on the right side of a gunfight. 551 00:31:56,180 --> 00:31:58,139 Heard you say you had a picture of the perps? 552 00:31:58,182 --> 00:32:01,054 - Uh, victim. Female. - Right. 553 00:32:01,098 --> 00:32:04,797 Saw something about, uh, a woman got taken. 554 00:32:04,841 --> 00:32:07,148 Or escaped or something? 555 00:32:07,191 --> 00:32:09,541 We think these fellas grabbed her up in Minnesota. 556 00:32:09,585 --> 00:32:12,283 Taking her to points west when the trooper pulled them over. 557 00:32:12,327 --> 00:32:14,851 She killed one, the recidivist Donald Ireland, 558 00:32:14,894 --> 00:32:17,984 I think they said. The other one got away. 559 00:32:18,028 --> 00:32:21,292 Sounds like a real Comanche, this female you're hunting. 560 00:32:21,336 --> 00:32:25,122 Like I said, I got a photo. Excuse me. 561 00:32:25,166 --> 00:32:28,212 So, what, she some kind of criminal, also? 562 00:32:28,256 --> 00:32:29,779 Not exactly. 563 00:32:29,822 --> 00:32:32,085 Had a mix-up at her daughter's school this week. 564 00:32:32,129 --> 00:32:33,522 Tased an officer by accident. 565 00:32:33,565 --> 00:32:34,958 How's that happen? 566 00:32:35,001 --> 00:32:36,438 Heat of the moment, I'm guessing. 567 00:32:36,481 --> 00:32:37,743 Used to be a saying: 568 00:32:37,787 --> 00:32:40,616 "Minnesota nice." But I was there. 569 00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:42,879 Nothing nice about Minnesota that day. 570 00:32:42,922 --> 00:32:44,881 Oops. What'd I do? 571 00:32:44,924 --> 00:32:47,405 - What did you... ? - I must've, I don't know, I pressed something. 572 00:32:47,449 --> 00:32:50,539 Darn it, you deleted the victim, her photo. 573 00:32:50,582 --> 00:32:53,411 Yeah, me and technology don't see eye to eye. 574 00:32:53,455 --> 00:32:54,760 Especially now. 575 00:32:54,804 --> 00:32:57,241 This wrist-breaker... ah. 576 00:32:57,285 --> 00:32:59,461 No, it-it's my fault. 577 00:32:59,504 --> 00:33:01,637 I'm not sure what I was thinking just bringing the one. 578 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,248 Well, I sure hope you find her. 579 00:33:04,292 --> 00:33:06,598 If it was her, saved my life, I think. 580 00:33:06,642 --> 00:33:09,297 Oh, no, she's home. A little worse for wear 581 00:33:09,340 --> 00:33:10,602 but intact. 582 00:33:10,646 --> 00:33:11,821 Strangest thing, though. 583 00:33:11,864 --> 00:33:13,518 Despite all evidence, 584 00:33:13,562 --> 00:33:15,433 she's claiming it never happened. 585 00:33:15,477 --> 00:33:17,522 Never... what now? 586 00:33:17,566 --> 00:33:19,089 Says nobody broke in. 587 00:33:19,132 --> 00:33:20,743 Says she wasn't taken. 588 00:33:20,786 --> 00:33:22,310 Just went for a wander for ten hours 589 00:33:22,353 --> 00:33:24,486 and then came home and cooked breakfast. 590 00:33:24,529 --> 00:33:26,357 Cry for attention, sounds like. 591 00:33:26,401 --> 00:33:29,795 Drama queen trying to make her husband sick. 592 00:33:29,839 --> 00:33:31,449 Who said she has a husband? 593 00:33:31,493 --> 00:33:33,103 No, I mean, I'm assuming. 594 00:33:33,146 --> 00:33:36,149 Description said 30s in the police report, so... 595 00:33:36,193 --> 00:33:37,847 Well, all I know is, the woman I met broke loose 596 00:33:37,890 --> 00:33:40,415 like somebody who knows how small the cage can get. 597 00:33:41,894 --> 00:33:43,592 Wish you had that picture. 598 00:33:43,635 --> 00:33:45,594 Like to meet that woman again, thank her. 599 00:33:45,637 --> 00:33:47,596 For what? Far as I can tell, 600 00:33:47,639 --> 00:33:49,598 she's the one got you shot in the first place. 601 00:33:49,641 --> 00:33:51,643 Oh, the job got me shot. 602 00:33:51,687 --> 00:33:53,732 She was just... 603 00:33:53,776 --> 00:33:55,908 trying to get free. 604 00:33:55,952 --> 00:33:57,562 But you know what they say. 605 00:33:57,606 --> 00:33:58,781 Protect and serve. 606 00:34:00,478 --> 00:34:03,307 Yeah, I'm down with "protect," but... 607 00:34:03,351 --> 00:34:04,961 I ain't in the service industry. 608 00:34:05,004 --> 00:34:08,834 I'm in the kicking ass and taking names business. 609 00:34:17,669 --> 00:34:19,280 You two have a nice day. 610 00:34:39,125 --> 00:34:41,302 Consider that bitch flummoxed. 611 00:35:14,204 --> 00:35:15,597 What the heck? 612 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,425 Hiya, hon. 613 00:35:20,906 --> 00:35:22,255 What the heck? 614 00:35:22,299 --> 00:35:23,953 Made some shepherd's pie. 615 00:35:29,872 --> 00:35:31,439 Scotty. 616 00:35:32,483 --> 00:35:33,832 What you doing there? 617 00:35:33,876 --> 00:35:35,878 For security. Mom said. 618 00:35:35,921 --> 00:35:37,619 - Yeah. - Oh. 619 00:35:37,662 --> 00:35:38,663 Hon... 620 00:35:38,707 --> 00:35:41,449 Yeah? 621 00:35:41,492 --> 00:35:44,016 Why is there a sledgehammer over the front door? 622 00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:46,628 Well, we talked about an alarm system, 623 00:35:46,671 --> 00:35:50,153 but you said we couldn't afford a good one, so we... 624 00:35:50,196 --> 00:35:51,937 Well, what the heck is... ? 625 00:35:51,981 --> 00:35:53,548 Oh, no, hon, I wouldn't touch that. It's electrified. 626 00:35:53,591 --> 00:35:54,984 It's what? 627 00:35:55,027 --> 00:35:56,942 It's plugged into the wall. 628 00:35:56,986 --> 00:35:58,814 Anyone tries to bust in, 629 00:35:58,857 --> 00:36:00,859 well, they'll get a righteous shock. 630 00:36:06,604 --> 00:36:09,259 Hon, c-can we talk? I... 631 00:36:09,302 --> 00:36:12,523 Wait, how, I'm just gonna... 632 00:36:12,567 --> 00:36:14,133 How about you go upstairs and, uh, 633 00:36:14,177 --> 00:36:16,919 watch some cartoons on your Samsung? 634 00:36:16,962 --> 00:36:19,225 Yeah? 635 00:36:21,924 --> 00:36:24,796 - Yeah. - Let me get my apron off at least. 636 00:36:28,757 --> 00:36:30,759 Uh, Mom came by the lot today. 637 00:36:30,802 --> 00:36:33,675 Er, well, her man did. 638 00:36:33,718 --> 00:36:35,111 Uh, she called in. 639 00:36:35,154 --> 00:36:36,939 Yeah, she... 640 00:36:36,982 --> 00:36:38,723 I saw her, too. 641 00:36:38,767 --> 00:36:40,203 But don't worry. 642 00:36:40,246 --> 00:36:42,292 I think we came to an understanding. 643 00:36:42,335 --> 00:36:43,902 She said that, or... ? 644 00:36:43,946 --> 00:36:45,904 - No. - Oh. 645 00:36:45,948 --> 00:36:49,255 But women understand each other. 646 00:36:49,299 --> 00:36:52,345 Well, hon, I don't think you do... 647 00:36:52,389 --> 00:36:55,436 u-understand each other. 648 00:36:55,479 --> 00:36:57,960 She... She's litigating against you, see. 649 00:36:58,003 --> 00:37:00,702 She, uh... 650 00:37:00,745 --> 00:37:03,008 Well, she thinks you made this whole thing up. 651 00:37:03,052 --> 00:37:06,969 I... I mean, the whole thing sounds... loony. 652 00:37:07,012 --> 00:37:10,668 But she-she thinks you're some kind of con woman. 653 00:37:10,712 --> 00:37:13,410 Uh, playing us for our money. 654 00:37:13,454 --> 00:37:15,194 Uh, in league with the kidnappers. 655 00:37:15,238 --> 00:37:16,718 I just... 656 00:37:16,761 --> 00:37:20,504 Told you, there were no kidnappers, just... 657 00:37:20,548 --> 00:37:22,027 Drove around to-to clear your head. 658 00:37:22,071 --> 00:37:24,073 But-but, hon, the-the... 659 00:37:24,116 --> 00:37:25,988 The-the car was here the whole time. 660 00:37:26,031 --> 00:37:27,293 Walking, I said, or I-I... 661 00:37:27,337 --> 00:37:28,773 Listen, I believe you. 662 00:37:28,817 --> 00:37:31,515 I'm not the one you got to... I just... 663 00:37:31,559 --> 00:37:33,256 And she said she can get the cops out of the equation. 664 00:37:33,299 --> 00:37:36,912 You know, her friend the attorney general, but, hon... 665 00:37:36,955 --> 00:37:39,305 You know, from-from where she's sitting the-the whole thing 666 00:37:39,349 --> 00:37:41,003 don't make a lot of sense. 667 00:37:44,833 --> 00:37:47,270 But it makes sense to us. 668 00:37:48,271 --> 00:37:50,055 That's what matters, right? 669 00:37:50,099 --> 00:37:53,363 Yeah, maybe. 670 00:37:53,406 --> 00:37:57,976 But, hon... wh-why-why is there a, a-a sledgehammer 671 00:37:58,020 --> 00:37:59,674 in the vestibule? 672 00:37:59,717 --> 00:38:02,503 A-And how come Scotty's making a zombie killer? 673 00:38:02,546 --> 00:38:05,418 Well, like she said. Security. 674 00:38:05,462 --> 00:38:06,637 From what? 675 00:38:06,681 --> 00:38:08,073 Hon... 676 00:38:08,117 --> 00:38:09,814 No, I-I'm just trying to, you know... 677 00:38:09,858 --> 00:38:13,644 No. You can't. You-you weren't there. 678 00:38:13,688 --> 00:38:15,167 At the school board. 679 00:38:16,168 --> 00:38:19,258 Neighbor against neighbor. 680 00:38:19,302 --> 00:38:20,825 Society's breaking down here. 681 00:38:20,869 --> 00:38:22,523 The social structure. 682 00:38:22,566 --> 00:38:25,482 What side you're on, whether you're for or against, 683 00:38:25,526 --> 00:38:29,094 I-I'm just saying... 684 00:38:30,313 --> 00:38:31,880 We need to wake up here. 685 00:38:31,923 --> 00:38:34,360 Protect ourselves, in case... 686 00:38:34,404 --> 00:38:36,145 In case what? 687 00:38:36,188 --> 00:38:38,495 In case... 688 00:38:38,539 --> 00:38:41,193 ruffians at the door. 689 00:38:41,237 --> 00:38:44,370 Or Mr. Abernathy decides he wants revenge. 690 00:38:44,414 --> 00:38:46,242 Or a thousand other maybes. 691 00:38:46,285 --> 00:38:47,896 Uh, who? 692 00:38:47,939 --> 00:38:49,332 Scotty's math teacher. 693 00:38:49,375 --> 00:38:50,638 The fella I tased before the cop. 694 00:38:50,681 --> 00:38:52,161 Y-You tased the math teacher? 695 00:38:52,204 --> 00:38:53,902 Well... 696 00:38:53,945 --> 00:38:55,773 I got a bad feeling, hon. 697 00:38:55,817 --> 00:38:57,775 - Yeah. - People do. 698 00:38:57,819 --> 00:38:59,516 It's not just me. 699 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,084 And I'm, I-I'm not saying that we should build a bunker. 700 00:39:02,127 --> 00:39:05,261 Or stockpile long guns. 701 00:39:05,304 --> 00:39:06,828 A few common sense... 702 00:39:06,871 --> 00:39:09,961 Hon, y-y-y-you got electric wire on the windows. 703 00:39:10,005 --> 00:39:11,397 A few practical solutions. 704 00:39:11,441 --> 00:39:13,269 Unless you're ready to step up 705 00:39:13,312 --> 00:39:17,186 and go state of the art, really sink some capital into it. 706 00:39:17,229 --> 00:39:20,537 I-I... Should we, I don't know, sh-sh-sh-should we get a gun? 707 00:39:20,581 --> 00:39:24,323 See? Oh. Now you're thinking. 708 00:39:24,367 --> 00:39:27,022 A gun is a great idea. We should get a shotgun. 709 00:39:27,065 --> 00:39:28,806 - Oh. - And maybe a pistol for the bedroom. 710 00:39:28,850 --> 00:39:31,461 - Ah. - And maybe we could replace my Taser, too. 711 00:39:31,504 --> 00:39:34,203 And, I don't know, maybe some kind of net. 712 00:39:34,246 --> 00:39:36,597 - Just in case they, uh... - A net? 713 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:37,640 - Huh? - Huh? 714 00:39:37,641 --> 00:39:38,990 All I'm saying is-is, 715 00:39:39,034 --> 00:39:41,123 now we're speaking the same language. 716 00:39:44,387 --> 00:39:45,910 Oh, you're such a gentle guy. 717 00:39:45,954 --> 00:39:47,259 - Yeah. - Yeah. 718 00:39:47,303 --> 00:39:49,610 I know how hard this is. 719 00:39:50,741 --> 00:39:52,613 I-I just want to play floor hockey 720 00:39:52,656 --> 00:39:55,920 in my socks with Scotty again and watch Real Housewives. 721 00:39:55,964 --> 00:39:57,400 I know. 722 00:39:58,531 --> 00:40:00,969 And we can and we will. 723 00:40:01,012 --> 00:40:05,277 Hey. We just got to take care of a few things first. 724 00:40:11,588 --> 00:40:14,243 All I ever wanted was... 725 00:40:15,287 --> 00:40:18,029 Y-You're my dream come true. 726 00:40:21,772 --> 00:40:24,209 And you're mine. 727 00:40:30,607 --> 00:40:32,783 Come on, mister. 728 00:40:32,827 --> 00:40:35,003 Before your daughter's brain turns to sludge. 729 00:40:35,046 --> 00:40:37,005 Yeah. 730 00:40:37,048 --> 00:40:38,702 Hey, Scotty. 731 00:40:41,226 --> 00:40:43,054 Let's eat! 732 00:41:02,595 --> 00:41:04,336 Pull in here. I got to take a piss. 733 00:41:36,804 --> 00:41:39,154 - Want a pop? - No, I'm fine. 734 00:41:45,856 --> 00:41:47,640 Whoa. 735 00:42:47,918 --> 00:42:49,528 I got us some jerky. 736 00:42:51,661 --> 00:42:53,097 Spicy kind. 737 00:42:53,141 --> 00:42:55,578 You better keep those windows down. 738 00:43:13,509 --> 00:43:15,032 Fuck, that's hot. 739 00:43:31,222 --> 00:43:33,877 Where is this guy? 740 00:43:39,927 --> 00:43:41,493 Oh, my God. 741 00:43:42,451 --> 00:43:44,148 Oh, my God. 742 00:44:03,646 --> 00:44:05,082 Oh, shit. 743 00:44:08,651 --> 00:44:10,305 Oh, shit. 744 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:20,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 745 00:46:45,764 --> 00:46:47,679 Now I get it.