1 00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:56,885 I was sheriff of this county when I was 25. 2 00:00:56,929 --> 00:01:00,454 Hard to believe. 3 00:01:00,498 --> 00:01:03,109 Grandfather was a sheriff. Father, too. 4 00:01:03,152 --> 00:01:04,980 Ranchers all. 5 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:08,114 Working the land through times flush and fallow. 6 00:01:11,291 --> 00:01:14,686 There's a natural order to things. 7 00:01:14,729 --> 00:01:17,166 We know it in our bones. 8 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,778 Jesus was a man, not some bearded lady. 9 00:01:19,821 --> 00:01:21,736 And just as water flows downhill, 10 00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:24,609 a husband is head of his household. 11 00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,655 Under him, the woman abides. 12 00:01:28,787 --> 00:01:30,484 She holds her virtue close 13 00:01:30,528 --> 00:01:33,705 until that matrimonial threshold is crossed, 14 00:01:33,748 --> 00:01:35,228 and then she opens to him, 15 00:01:35,271 --> 00:01:37,535 as the flower opens to the sun. 16 00:01:37,578 --> 00:01:38,840 And in exchange, 17 00:01:38,884 --> 00:01:41,669 the man shelters and protects his female, 18 00:01:41,713 --> 00:01:44,498 as the sword has its sheath. 19 00:01:44,542 --> 00:01:47,109 Okay, but what I'm saying is, you... 20 00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:52,201 No. He only raises his hand to her 21 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,160 when she forgets her place and acts the man. 22 00:01:54,203 --> 00:01:57,772 And-and then only for instruction, 23 00:01:57,816 --> 00:02:01,733 never taking any pleasure or satisfaction from the task. 24 00:02:01,776 --> 00:02:03,517 Whereas you, son, 25 00:02:03,561 --> 00:02:06,607 seem to have played a Tommy Lee drum solo 26 00:02:06,651 --> 00:02:09,175 all over your missus's facade. 27 00:02:09,218 --> 00:02:11,917 - This... I fell is all. - Hey, quiet now. 28 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,485 Sheriff's talking. 29 00:02:14,528 --> 00:02:17,879 Come here. Take comfort, dear. 30 00:02:17,923 --> 00:02:20,360 Daughter, these hard times are over. 31 00:02:20,404 --> 00:02:22,144 All right? 32 00:02:22,188 --> 00:02:24,016 I'll see to your husband's instruction myself. 33 00:02:24,059 --> 00:02:25,365 What 'struction? 34 00:02:30,631 --> 00:02:32,503 Now, be honest. 35 00:02:32,546 --> 00:02:34,809 Do you ever question your man's supremacy 36 00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:36,463 when he speaks? 37 00:02:36,507 --> 00:02:38,857 Just when he drinks or with the crank, you know? 38 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,641 I try to stay out of the way, but... 39 00:02:41,686 --> 00:02:43,514 Don't hurt him. 40 00:02:43,557 --> 00:02:45,820 - We got three boys who need a daddy. - Okay. 41 00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:48,432 Okay. Okay. 42 00:02:55,526 --> 00:02:58,050 Yeah. 43 00:02:58,093 --> 00:03:00,531 Thank you. You got any of that huckleberry pie? 44 00:03:00,574 --> 00:03:03,229 - Sure. - That's great. 45 00:03:05,536 --> 00:03:08,364 Lookit, dick cheese, I know you... 46 00:03:08,408 --> 00:03:09,801 Quiet. 47 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:15,763 Go home. Fix a meal. 48 00:03:15,807 --> 00:03:17,722 Pray on it before you take the first bite. 49 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:20,333 Forgiveness. Tend to his burns. 50 00:03:20,376 --> 00:03:22,378 Try to be deferential. 51 00:03:22,422 --> 00:03:24,946 Cater to his needs as a man with your mouth 52 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:26,687 in order to sow harmony. 53 00:03:26,731 --> 00:03:29,951 I'll come by in the morning, see if the lesson stuck. 54 00:03:31,518 --> 00:03:33,346 Go on. 55 00:03:33,389 --> 00:03:34,608 Go. 56 00:03:46,925 --> 00:03:48,492 They missed her. 57 00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:10,209 What happened? 58 00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:16,476 You send a man to do a job without all the information, 59 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,958 how can the job be done? 60 00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:21,307 Yeah, what are you? 61 00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:24,353 The Riddler? 62 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:28,401 You say the woman is a woman, a... 63 00:04:28,444 --> 00:04:30,272 How do you... ? 64 00:04:30,316 --> 00:04:32,927 Housewife. 65 00:04:32,971 --> 00:04:38,977 Never do you mention she is, for real, a tiger. 66 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:41,980 You're saying you couldn't handle some girl? 67 00:04:42,023 --> 00:04:44,069 100 pounds soaking wet? 68 00:04:45,461 --> 00:04:46,985 Huh? 69 00:04:49,509 --> 00:04:53,078 It was on the wire this morning. 70 00:04:53,121 --> 00:04:56,603 This half-wit shot up a filling station outside Beulah. 71 00:04:56,647 --> 00:04:58,474 Murdered the clerk. 72 00:04:58,518 --> 00:05:00,651 Killed a state trooper. 73 00:05:00,694 --> 00:05:02,130 Put a hole in the leg of another. 74 00:05:03,828 --> 00:05:05,960 And this retard's partner with a cracked skull 75 00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:07,527 and his face half burned off in the morgue. 76 00:05:07,571 --> 00:05:10,356 You say housewife, so I bring one guy. 77 00:05:10,399 --> 00:05:12,793 You say tiger... 78 00:05:12,837 --> 00:05:13,968 that's a different guy. 79 00:05:14,012 --> 00:05:16,405 Cost you three times. 80 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,104 Did they take her? The police? 81 00:05:19,147 --> 00:05:21,106 Fled on foot. 82 00:05:21,149 --> 00:05:23,499 Possibly home. 83 00:05:23,543 --> 00:05:25,240 Possibly to the wind. 84 00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,895 Could you find her? 85 00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:30,637 She could be found. 86 00:05:30,681 --> 00:05:33,597 Where people go, the thoughts they have, 87 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,164 these are known to me. 88 00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:37,383 Instincts. 89 00:05:37,426 --> 00:05:39,733 Who flees, who fights. 90 00:05:39,777 --> 00:05:44,042 It's a question of price. 91 00:05:44,085 --> 00:05:47,480 The job it was, not the job you said. 92 00:05:47,523 --> 00:05:49,569 Pain and suffering. 93 00:05:49,613 --> 00:05:52,093 A man, missing an appendage, 94 00:05:52,137 --> 00:05:54,487 self-sewing his own skin. 95 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:56,228 Scarred for life, he's told. 96 00:05:56,271 --> 00:05:59,753 And then this new ask. 97 00:05:59,797 --> 00:06:01,407 Hunting a tiger. 98 00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:04,366 And it forces the man to ask: 99 00:06:04,410 --> 00:06:07,152 why you want the tiger? 100 00:06:08,893 --> 00:06:10,590 She's my wife. 101 00:06:10,634 --> 00:06:11,896 Don't tell him shit. 102 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,332 I already said I can handle this. 103 00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:15,290 We know where she lives now. Her alias. 104 00:06:19,773 --> 00:06:22,602 She made vows to me. 105 00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:24,343 A pledge. 106 00:06:24,386 --> 00:06:27,520 In sickness and in health. 107 00:06:27,563 --> 00:06:31,002 Consider it a debt unpaid, leaving me in limbo. 108 00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:33,657 Husband yes or husband no. 109 00:06:34,832 --> 00:06:37,356 See, she hid from me nine, ten years. 110 00:06:38,313 --> 00:06:41,752 Interest accrued. 111 00:06:41,795 --> 00:06:44,842 Until the debt could no longer be paid with money. 112 00:06:48,759 --> 00:06:52,371 Then, one day, there she is, fingerprints in the system. 113 00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,547 Now the limbo can end, 114 00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:57,506 the debt can be collected. 115 00:07:00,161 --> 00:07:01,728 Tell me something, friend. 116 00:07:03,861 --> 00:07:05,776 If a man is pure, 117 00:07:05,819 --> 00:07:08,561 his actions are only ever good. 118 00:07:09,518 --> 00:07:11,607 You believe that? 119 00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:16,221 I'm a nihilist. 120 00:07:16,264 --> 00:07:17,962 What the fuck does that mean? 121 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,311 I believe in nothing. 122 00:07:19,354 --> 00:07:20,660 You believe in money. 123 00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:24,229 Yeah? 124 00:07:30,278 --> 00:07:32,716 Well, thanks for your help. 125 00:07:33,934 --> 00:07:35,588 Go on with Gator. He'll get you paid. 126 00:07:35,631 --> 00:07:36,894 Dad. 127 00:07:36,937 --> 00:07:39,200 Original plus pain and suffering. 128 00:07:39,244 --> 00:07:41,115 Yeah, of course. 129 00:07:41,159 --> 00:07:43,509 Take it out of the rainy day fund. 130 00:07:43,552 --> 00:07:45,163 Fixing place. 131 00:07:45,206 --> 00:07:48,862 Fixing place. Right. 132 00:07:48,906 --> 00:07:50,864 Come on, numbnuts. 133 00:07:57,784 --> 00:08:02,049 A man is grateful. 134 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:20,459 I'm not saying sorry, but you understand. 135 00:08:20,502 --> 00:08:22,200 I had to rough you up a little back there. 136 00:08:22,243 --> 00:08:25,290 You coming up snake eyes and all. 137 00:08:28,554 --> 00:08:31,862 With her being such a tiny bird, which... 138 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,170 You know... 139 00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:39,957 they used to be dinosaurs. 140 00:08:43,395 --> 00:08:45,789 Hundreds okay? 141 00:08:56,712 --> 00:08:58,062 Surprise, shitbird. 142 00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:22,782 - What's going on, Roy? - Go on, get back to the house now. 143 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:52,503 Like we said, this is all just a misunderstanding. 144 00:09:52,546 --> 00:09:54,026 Had a bad day is all. 145 00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:00,598 A bad day? 146 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:01,816 Yeah. 147 00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,993 Left the house a mess. 148 00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:07,126 Last I checked, weren't a crime. 149 00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,475 No, ma'am. 150 00:10:08,519 --> 00:10:10,564 I'm a recidivist on that count myself. 151 00:10:10,608 --> 00:10:11,870 Laundry especially. 152 00:10:11,913 --> 00:10:14,699 Oh, laundry. 153 00:10:14,742 --> 00:10:17,310 But what I'm concerned about is the blood. 154 00:10:17,354 --> 00:10:19,356 Told you, I cut my feet up on some glass. 155 00:10:19,399 --> 00:10:20,922 You did. 156 00:10:20,966 --> 00:10:23,795 And I see the wounds. 157 00:10:23,838 --> 00:10:25,101 But what I'm dealing with is the fact 158 00:10:25,144 --> 00:10:26,885 that the blood on your entry floor 159 00:10:26,928 --> 00:10:28,582 is different than the blood type we have on record for you. 160 00:10:28,626 --> 00:10:29,975 Records? 161 00:10:30,019 --> 00:10:32,151 Those... 162 00:10:32,195 --> 00:10:35,285 You know, I heard a man went into the hospital in St. Paul 163 00:10:35,328 --> 00:10:37,287 fer a kidney transplant, 164 00:10:37,330 --> 00:10:38,984 he ended up with someone else's brain. 165 00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:41,508 - No way. - Yeah. 166 00:10:41,552 --> 00:10:42,727 Well, I'm not sure... 167 00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:45,208 That don't sound accurate. 168 00:10:45,251 --> 00:10:48,950 What I'm saying is, hospitals make mistakes. 169 00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:51,866 Then there's the hair DNA from the balaclava in your boudoir. 170 00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,694 Told you, I bought that secondhand. 171 00:10:57,872 --> 00:11:00,136 You know, it's my fault. 172 00:11:00,179 --> 00:11:03,704 You know, I came home, front door was wide open, uh, 173 00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:06,142 all the... blood. 174 00:11:06,185 --> 00:11:09,362 Uh, I-I'm not ashamed to say I panicked. 175 00:11:09,406 --> 00:11:10,972 But, you know, Dot's home, 176 00:11:11,016 --> 00:11:12,844 and, uh, that's all that matters. 177 00:11:12,887 --> 00:11:15,151 So, uh, whatever the... 178 00:11:15,194 --> 00:11:17,979 You know, she's my wife. And I believe her. 179 00:11:18,023 --> 00:11:21,679 So, if there's a form or something I can sign to... 180 00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:24,638 you know, drop the charges... 181 00:11:24,682 --> 00:11:26,553 That's not how this works. 182 00:11:30,253 --> 00:11:32,211 - I got to... - Hmm? 183 00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:34,344 It's almost time for pickup. 184 00:11:34,387 --> 00:11:38,565 I told Scotty we could go to DQ after school, so... 185 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,788 Well, okay, then. 186 00:11:43,831 --> 00:11:45,355 Thanks for your time. 187 00:11:45,398 --> 00:11:47,096 Mm-hmm. 188 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,923 We're reviewing traffic cameras in the neighborhood, 189 00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:49,924 so if I have any more questions... 190 00:11:49,925 --> 00:11:51,361 No. 191 00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:53,450 She's... 192 00:11:53,493 --> 00:11:56,105 Wayne, she's not listening to me. 193 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,281 Uh, Danish Graves is our attorney, 194 00:11:58,324 --> 00:12:00,283 so if you need to contact us again, 195 00:12:00,326 --> 00:12:02,981 which you shouldn't, uh... 196 00:12:04,113 --> 00:12:05,853 Okay, then. 197 00:12:17,126 --> 00:12:19,650 So, it's a puzzler. 198 00:12:19,693 --> 00:12:21,217 Spoke to Wayne. 199 00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:23,044 Dot's back. 200 00:12:23,088 --> 00:12:24,611 She's what now? 201 00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:26,657 Yeah, came home on her own. 202 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,615 A little bruised. 203 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,140 Bloody feet. 204 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,663 She escaped? 205 00:12:32,706 --> 00:12:33,838 Well, that's the conundrum. 206 00:12:33,881 --> 00:12:35,492 Says she wasn't taken. 207 00:12:35,535 --> 00:12:38,582 Says it was just a driving around type scenario. 208 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,018 Getting her head straight. 209 00:12:40,061 --> 00:12:41,976 Bullshit. 210 00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:44,718 You saw the police report. 211 00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:46,459 Something's fishy here. 212 00:12:46,503 --> 00:12:48,635 Agreed. 213 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:50,333 I smell a rat. 214 00:12:50,376 --> 00:12:52,596 You think... 215 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,988 Well, what do you think? 216 00:12:54,032 --> 00:12:57,296 A play, maybe. 217 00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,994 Extortion, but she got cold feet. 218 00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:01,648 Kidnapped herself, you're thinking? 219 00:13:01,692 --> 00:13:04,956 I mean, what do we know about this girl, really? 220 00:13:04,999 --> 00:13:07,480 Well, I did the background check when they got engaged. 221 00:13:07,524 --> 00:13:09,352 Well, you said yourself, not much there. 222 00:13:09,395 --> 00:13:10,788 Pretty thin, for sure. 223 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,311 Just the birth certificate, 224 00:13:12,355 --> 00:13:14,095 a few school records, previous addresses. 225 00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:16,228 Well, it's too good to be true, now I'm thinking. 226 00:13:16,272 --> 00:13:18,099 So, what do we... ? 227 00:13:18,143 --> 00:13:21,755 Tell you what we don't want... police digging their noses 228 00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:23,148 into other people's business. 229 00:13:23,192 --> 00:13:24,889 Asking questions that can't be answered. 230 00:13:24,932 --> 00:13:26,195 Then what? 231 00:13:27,631 --> 00:13:30,024 Possibly this thing goes federal. 232 00:13:30,068 --> 00:13:32,070 You know, wrong person makes a phone call. 233 00:13:33,637 --> 00:13:34,986 You don't think Wayne's... 234 00:13:35,029 --> 00:13:37,467 Who knows what to think? 235 00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:39,556 He's got the dealership, 236 00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:42,428 a decent roof over their head, 237 00:13:42,472 --> 00:13:47,477 but maybe she's pushing him for more. 238 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,088 Putting ideas in his head. 239 00:13:50,131 --> 00:13:52,743 Eh... I don't know. 240 00:13:52,786 --> 00:13:56,007 So we separate 'em, like the cops. 241 00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:58,705 You brace him. I go at her. 242 00:13:58,749 --> 00:14:00,794 Get to the bottom of things. 243 00:14:00,838 --> 00:14:02,318 If this deal's for real 244 00:14:02,361 --> 00:14:05,016 and they got a notion to take what's mine, 245 00:14:05,059 --> 00:14:07,366 we need to nip it in the bud. 246 00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:08,976 Keep things in-house. 247 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,370 Ah, geez. 248 00:14:11,414 --> 00:14:13,981 Everything was going along just fine, too. 249 00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,287 And now, what do you... 250 00:14:15,331 --> 00:14:19,117 This... enemy within situation. 251 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:23,252 She made promises. To me. 252 00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:24,905 My son. 253 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,604 To have and to hold. 254 00:14:27,647 --> 00:14:30,171 For richer and poorer. 255 00:14:31,390 --> 00:14:33,740 And that's a debt we're gonna collect. 256 00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:44,284 You gonna make it there, sunshine? 257 00:15:44,328 --> 00:15:48,419 Fucker got the drop on me. 258 00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,771 Tell me her name again? 259 00:15:52,815 --> 00:15:56,340 Uh, goes by Dorothy Lyon now. 260 00:15:56,383 --> 00:15:58,429 Lives in a suburb outside the Twin Cities. 261 00:15:58,473 --> 00:15:59,909 Married, you said? 262 00:15:59,952 --> 00:16:01,519 Going on ten years. 263 00:16:01,563 --> 00:16:04,609 Husband owns a car dealership, some kind of... 264 00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:06,611 uh, Korean model. 265 00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:07,917 Koreans make cars? 266 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,223 I guess. 267 00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:11,573 Anyway, she's got a daughter 268 00:16:11,616 --> 00:16:14,401 named Scotty. She's about nine. 269 00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:25,238 Roy, we got FBI here. 270 00:16:29,982 --> 00:16:31,288 Let's send 'em up. 271 00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:33,856 What do you want me to... ? 272 00:16:33,899 --> 00:16:35,031 Ah, don't worry about it. 273 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,867 Hard day at the office. 274 00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:47,565 Like the sign says, he's a hard man for hard times. 275 00:16:47,609 --> 00:16:49,872 And by "he" I mean me. 276 00:16:55,442 --> 00:16:58,445 Agent "Ja-Queen." 277 00:16:58,489 --> 00:17:00,709 It's Joaquin. 278 00:17:00,752 --> 00:17:02,188 This is Agent Meyer. 279 00:17:02,232 --> 00:17:03,625 We're new in the Fargo office. 280 00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:05,104 We thought we'd come by, 281 00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:07,280 see why you aren't enforcing any of our laws. 282 00:17:07,324 --> 00:17:08,891 What laws? 283 00:17:08,934 --> 00:17:10,632 Oh, you know, gun laws, drug laws. 284 00:17:10,675 --> 00:17:13,286 Any of the half-dozen other American laws 285 00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:15,419 passed and ratified by the United States government 286 00:17:15,462 --> 00:17:17,943 that you don't seem to recognize. 287 00:17:17,987 --> 00:17:19,945 Well, Agent Ja-Queen, I think you'll find 288 00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:21,991 that there is no one on God's green earth 289 00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:23,470 who is a greater enforcer of the laws of this land 290 00:17:23,514 --> 00:17:24,950 than Roy Tillman. 291 00:17:24,994 --> 00:17:27,039 Why do I feel like there's a "but" here? 292 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:28,171 But... 293 00:17:29,955 --> 00:17:34,133 ... what you need to know is that I amthe law of the land. 294 00:17:34,177 --> 00:17:36,919 Elected by the residents of this county 295 00:17:36,962 --> 00:17:39,051 to interpret and enforce the Constitution 296 00:17:39,095 --> 00:17:42,533 given unto us by Almighty God. 297 00:17:42,577 --> 00:17:44,361 Mm-hmm. 298 00:17:44,404 --> 00:17:46,319 Freedom. 299 00:17:46,363 --> 00:17:47,843 Amen. 300 00:17:47,886 --> 00:17:50,149 You know, I hear that word a lot out here. 301 00:17:50,193 --> 00:17:51,760 I'm curious... 302 00:17:51,803 --> 00:17:53,588 what you think it means. 303 00:17:53,631 --> 00:17:55,328 Agent, if you don't know what freedom is, 304 00:17:55,372 --> 00:17:56,634 I don't think me saying the words out loud 305 00:17:56,678 --> 00:17:58,418 is gonna teach you. 306 00:18:00,551 --> 00:18:03,162 Why don't you go and do your chores? 307 00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:14,304 Seriously? 308 00:18:15,522 --> 00:18:17,350 Do you want a towel, or... ? 309 00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:19,352 Does my discussing matters of state 310 00:18:19,396 --> 00:18:21,703 in moist repose bother you? 311 00:18:31,364 --> 00:18:32,888 Jesus. 312 00:18:44,464 --> 00:18:46,031 Now, what is it you wanted to discuss? 313 00:18:46,075 --> 00:18:48,033 Well, like I said, we're new in town. 314 00:18:48,077 --> 00:18:50,601 We thought we'd come open a collegial dialogue. 315 00:18:50,645 --> 00:18:52,647 Maybe let you know we're looking into the practices 316 00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:55,214 - of your office. - Very unorthodox practices. 317 00:18:55,258 --> 00:18:57,129 Possibly illegal. 318 00:18:57,173 --> 00:19:00,698 Illegal according to who? 319 00:19:00,742 --> 00:19:01,917 Maybe you weren't paying attention, 320 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,440 but I am the law around here. 321 00:19:03,483 --> 00:19:05,485 So you said. 322 00:19:05,529 --> 00:19:08,227 Removable only by the governor or my constituents, 323 00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:09,838 who love me, by the way, 324 00:19:09,881 --> 00:19:12,710 because I say what I want and I do as I please. 325 00:19:12,754 --> 00:19:14,538 And I know the difference between right and wrong. 326 00:19:14,581 --> 00:19:16,540 Don't you mean legal and illegal? 327 00:19:19,064 --> 00:19:21,023 Well... 328 00:19:21,066 --> 00:19:23,460 did you know that in North Dakota it is illegal 329 00:19:23,503 --> 00:19:24,809 for a charitable group to hold 330 00:19:24,853 --> 00:19:28,030 more than two poker games a year? 331 00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:30,815 And similarly, it is illegal 332 00:19:30,859 --> 00:19:33,165 to keep an elk in a sandbox in your own backyard. 333 00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:35,472 I shit you not. 334 00:19:35,515 --> 00:19:37,126 Now, if you were to own a tavern 335 00:19:37,169 --> 00:19:39,041 and serve beer and pretzels at the same time, 336 00:19:39,084 --> 00:19:40,084 I could arrest you. 337 00:19:40,085 --> 00:19:42,609 And in Waverly... 338 00:19:42,653 --> 00:19:47,745 the law forbids horses from sleeping in bathtubs. 339 00:19:47,789 --> 00:19:50,095 You beginning to get the drift here? 340 00:19:51,575 --> 00:19:54,099 I'm a sheriff of the American Constitution. 341 00:19:54,143 --> 00:19:57,189 Bound by duty, blood, and tradition 342 00:19:57,233 --> 00:20:00,627 to enforce what is right and to prosecute what is wrong. 343 00:20:00,671 --> 00:20:02,717 And the law, my friends... 344 00:20:03,718 --> 00:20:05,589 ... has very little to do with it. 345 00:20:07,765 --> 00:20:11,638 So, Ja-Queen, Mrs. Ja-Queen, 346 00:20:11,682 --> 00:20:13,684 if you'll excuse me, 347 00:20:13,728 --> 00:20:15,512 I have some justice to administer. 348 00:20:16,643 --> 00:20:18,602 You can see yourself out. 349 00:20:39,226 --> 00:20:41,489 What do you say next time we get an extra Blizzard 350 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:44,144 and hold it upside down to see how long it takes 351 00:20:44,187 --> 00:20:45,885 for the stuffing to come out, huh? 352 00:20:45,928 --> 00:20:47,843 - Yeah. - Yeah. 353 00:20:47,887 --> 00:20:50,411 Your tea selection is atrocious. 354 00:20:50,454 --> 00:20:52,413 How did you get in here? 355 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:57,897 Hey, Nana. 356 00:20:59,159 --> 00:21:01,770 Are you wearing lipstick? 357 00:21:01,813 --> 00:21:03,728 That's ketchup. We had curly fries. 358 00:21:07,994 --> 00:21:10,126 Like I said, how come you're in my home? 359 00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:12,128 Of course I have a key. 360 00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:14,609 It's my son's house. 361 00:21:14,652 --> 00:21:18,047 Still, sorry if-if we startled you. 362 00:21:18,091 --> 00:21:19,788 Imagine intruders breaking into your house 363 00:21:19,831 --> 00:21:22,356 twice in one week. 364 00:21:22,399 --> 00:21:24,488 Oh, wait. 365 00:21:25,489 --> 00:21:27,883 That didn't happen. 366 00:21:29,798 --> 00:21:31,060 What do you want? 367 00:21:32,975 --> 00:21:36,544 Jerome, could you see my granddaughter to her room? 368 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:39,025 Maybe she wants to show you her dolls. 369 00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:42,506 I don't have dolls, Nana. I like ninjas. 370 00:21:42,550 --> 00:21:44,247 Is that some kind of cat? 371 00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:45,596 You're silly. 372 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,121 Come on, young Skywalker. 373 00:21:48,164 --> 00:21:52,168 I'll show you how a true samurai fights, hmm? 374 00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:55,171 Whoa. 375 00:22:00,002 --> 00:22:04,528 Well, I guess with you when it rains it pours. 376 00:22:04,572 --> 00:22:06,313 That... 377 00:22:08,532 --> 00:22:12,406 I mean, this is all just a bunch of silliness. 378 00:22:12,449 --> 00:22:16,018 Honestly, I'm embarrassed by all the fuss. 379 00:22:16,062 --> 00:22:17,933 Signs of a break-in, I'm told. 380 00:22:17,977 --> 00:22:21,415 Evidence you fought back, which good for you. 381 00:22:21,458 --> 00:22:23,417 I'd have skinned 'em where they stood. 382 00:22:23,460 --> 00:22:25,375 Please. 383 00:22:25,419 --> 00:22:27,160 More like Mama had a tantrum 384 00:22:27,203 --> 00:22:29,597 and it all got blowed out of proportion. 385 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,035 Honestly, like a snowball rolling downhill. 386 00:22:33,079 --> 00:22:36,473 Well, either you got a screw loose, 387 00:22:36,517 --> 00:22:40,216 or somebody came for you and you got away... 388 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:41,826 and now you're lying about it. 389 00:22:41,870 --> 00:22:43,654 Mom. 390 00:22:43,698 --> 00:22:45,874 No. 391 00:22:45,917 --> 00:22:47,832 I'm not your mom. 392 00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:51,532 You're married to my son, mother to my granddaughter. 393 00:22:51,575 --> 00:22:53,925 I wanted a girl with papers, 394 00:22:53,969 --> 00:22:56,537 but my Wayne always liked a sassy thing 395 00:22:56,580 --> 00:22:59,018 with a tight caboose, so here you are. 396 00:23:03,065 --> 00:23:05,937 Haven't you ever had one of those days? 397 00:23:08,331 --> 00:23:11,682 So what if I do got a screw loose? 398 00:23:11,726 --> 00:23:14,337 Stress and the like. 399 00:23:14,381 --> 00:23:17,297 I'm holding up my end of the deal. 400 00:23:17,340 --> 00:23:19,081 We're man and wife, 401 00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,170 him and me, 402 00:23:21,214 --> 00:23:22,563 and he loves me. 403 00:23:22,606 --> 00:23:25,174 There are ways we could change that. 404 00:23:25,218 --> 00:23:27,002 The holy bond. 405 00:23:27,046 --> 00:23:29,309 Revocation of the trust. 406 00:23:29,352 --> 00:23:30,832 And cut you both out of the will, 407 00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:32,355 see if that moves the marker. 408 00:23:32,399 --> 00:23:33,617 What are you saying? 409 00:23:33,661 --> 00:23:36,055 I'm saying I don't trust you. 410 00:23:36,098 --> 00:23:37,665 You're up to something. 411 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,581 And I won't have you dragging my son down. 412 00:23:40,624 --> 00:23:42,235 So... 413 00:23:42,278 --> 00:23:43,932 best you make excuses, 414 00:23:43,975 --> 00:23:48,371 you go back to wherever it is you were before you met. 415 00:23:48,415 --> 00:23:53,159 If you go easy, I could even see my way to... 416 00:23:53,202 --> 00:23:58,077 staking you for the first... two years. 417 00:23:59,948 --> 00:24:01,471 Listen, bitch. 418 00:24:03,038 --> 00:24:07,173 I've climbed through six kinds of hell to get where I am. 419 00:24:07,216 --> 00:24:10,089 And no Ivy League royal wannabe is gonna run me off 420 00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:12,091 just because she doesn't like the way I smell. 421 00:24:14,267 --> 00:24:17,270 If you want to tussle with me... 422 00:24:17,313 --> 00:24:21,535 ... you better sleep with both eyes open. 423 00:24:21,578 --> 00:24:26,540 Because nobody takes what's mine and lives. 424 00:24:32,676 --> 00:24:34,809 Anyhoo... 425 00:24:34,852 --> 00:24:36,767 thanks for stopping by. 426 00:24:37,681 --> 00:24:39,118 Dinner Sunday? 427 00:24:40,206 --> 00:24:42,643 I'll bring my blue salad. 428 00:24:43,731 --> 00:24:45,863 Jerome. 429 00:24:45,907 --> 00:24:47,778 We're leaving. 430 00:24:51,347 --> 00:24:53,654 Always nice to see you, dear. 431 00:24:55,699 --> 00:24:59,660 Maybe think about getting some iron into your diet. 432 00:24:59,703 --> 00:25:01,792 You look like a corpse. 433 00:25:45,619 --> 00:25:46,794 Mom? 434 00:25:46,837 --> 00:25:48,578 Ooh. 435 00:25:52,278 --> 00:25:53,279 I'm hungry. 436 00:25:53,322 --> 00:25:55,106 What? 437 00:25:55,150 --> 00:25:56,934 You just had DQ. 438 00:25:56,978 --> 00:25:58,893 It didn't take. 439 00:25:58,936 --> 00:26:01,722 Oh. What's going on down there? 440 00:26:01,765 --> 00:26:03,332 A wedgie. 441 00:26:08,032 --> 00:26:09,773 Tell you what. 442 00:26:09,817 --> 00:26:12,602 How about we make a vegetable medley 443 00:26:12,646 --> 00:26:16,345 with carrot sticks and the bell peppers you like? 444 00:26:16,389 --> 00:26:19,392 And then you can help Mom do some kind of craft project. 445 00:26:19,435 --> 00:26:21,132 What kind of craft project? 446 00:26:21,176 --> 00:26:24,484 You're gonna have to go downstairs to find out. 447 00:26:25,572 --> 00:26:27,530 Come on. 448 00:26:39,455 --> 00:26:41,849 Ah! Bye-bye. 449 00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:44,373 Nice done. 450 00:26:49,204 --> 00:26:50,771 Awesome. 451 00:27:01,303 --> 00:27:03,392 Ooh. 452 00:27:43,650 --> 00:27:45,434 - You ready? - Yeah. 453 00:27:49,612 --> 00:27:51,527 Whoa. 454 00:28:11,939 --> 00:28:13,984 Keep your hands off the ball chain, huh? 455 00:28:14,028 --> 00:28:17,161 Mama doesn't want you getting smooshed like a bug. 456 00:28:18,293 --> 00:28:20,861 Can we do my room next? 457 00:28:20,904 --> 00:28:22,950 Oh, yeah. 458 00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:24,560 Let's go. 459 00:28:24,604 --> 00:28:26,257 Race you. 460 00:28:31,088 --> 00:28:35,745 Don't forget our special 30% off winter deal on... 461 00:28:35,789 --> 00:28:38,966 Great deal, heck of a deal. 462 00:28:39,009 --> 00:28:42,404 Oh, sure, yeah, I got those VIN numbers right here. 463 00:28:44,450 --> 00:28:47,148 Actually, Phil, I'll have to call you back. 464 00:28:47,191 --> 00:28:49,672 All right. 465 00:28:49,716 --> 00:28:51,848 Finally saw the light on that Porsche, did you? 466 00:28:53,197 --> 00:28:55,591 What are you, uh... ? 467 00:28:55,635 --> 00:28:58,246 - What are you... ? - I got some business to discuss, Wayne. 468 00:28:58,289 --> 00:28:59,508 Ah. 469 00:29:00,553 --> 00:29:02,642 Is he on? 470 00:29:02,685 --> 00:29:04,252 Mom? 471 00:29:04,295 --> 00:29:06,123 Got a problem here, kid. Need your help with it. 472 00:29:06,167 --> 00:29:07,298 Of course, yeah. 473 00:29:07,342 --> 00:29:08,996 Is it that landscaper again? 474 00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:10,954 No, it's not the landscaper, moron. 475 00:29:10,998 --> 00:29:13,043 It's your wife. 476 00:29:13,087 --> 00:29:15,350 Now hold on. That's, uh... 477 00:29:15,394 --> 00:29:17,744 This whole kidnapping that ain't a kidnapping thing, 478 00:29:17,787 --> 00:29:19,746 well, there's something fishy about that. 479 00:29:19,789 --> 00:29:22,009 Full low tide, if you ask me. 480 00:29:22,052 --> 00:29:23,314 Like the dog's breath. 481 00:29:23,358 --> 00:29:25,186 Now, we talked about this, uh... 482 00:29:25,229 --> 00:29:26,796 She had a bad day. 483 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,058 Son. 484 00:29:28,102 --> 00:29:29,625 I talked to the police. 485 00:29:29,669 --> 00:29:31,888 They got hard evidence your wife was abducted. 486 00:29:31,932 --> 00:29:33,803 Not to mention, 487 00:29:33,847 --> 00:29:35,805 I just learned they think they got one of the guys 488 00:29:35,849 --> 00:29:38,547 on a slab over in North Dakota. 489 00:29:38,591 --> 00:29:41,202 Broke his skull in the commode of a filling station. 490 00:29:42,986 --> 00:29:45,206 - G... geez. - Yeah, officer on the scene said 491 00:29:45,249 --> 00:29:47,904 there was a female present who matches Dot. 492 00:29:47,948 --> 00:29:52,256 Get your head out of your ass, kid. 493 00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:54,563 She's making a play here, your missus. 494 00:29:54,607 --> 00:29:56,086 In cahoots with the kidnappers maybe, 495 00:29:56,130 --> 00:29:59,786 or maybe just seizing the opportunity. 496 00:29:59,829 --> 00:30:01,222 I'm not sure what or why. 497 00:30:01,265 --> 00:30:02,397 But any way you tell the story, 498 00:30:02,441 --> 00:30:04,355 it ends with me writing a check. 499 00:30:04,399 --> 00:30:07,750 Oh, come on now, Ma, n-not everything's about money. 500 00:30:08,882 --> 00:30:09,926 Slap him. 501 00:30:09,970 --> 00:30:13,060 I'm... sorry? 502 00:30:13,103 --> 00:30:14,191 You heard me. 503 00:30:14,235 --> 00:30:15,758 My son needs a slap 504 00:30:15,802 --> 00:30:17,238 and I'm not there to give it to him. 505 00:30:17,281 --> 00:30:18,587 So, as my attorney, I authorize you 506 00:30:18,631 --> 00:30:20,894 to knock his fucking block off. 507 00:30:25,507 --> 00:30:27,030 No. 508 00:30:28,802 --> 00:30:29,858 No, no, no, no, no, no. 509 00:30:29,859 --> 00:30:31,382 Wait a minute... Aah! 510 00:30:33,297 --> 00:30:34,516 Ow. 511 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,083 Listen to me, boy. 512 00:30:36,126 --> 00:30:37,998 You're back at the kiddie table on this one. 513 00:30:38,041 --> 00:30:39,826 That's official. 514 00:30:39,869 --> 00:30:43,046 Now shut your hole and listen to me talk. 515 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,659 Trooper? 516 00:30:52,703 --> 00:30:54,574 Saved. 517 00:30:54,618 --> 00:30:56,576 From what? 518 00:30:56,620 --> 00:30:58,578 Concord grape, I think. 519 00:30:58,622 --> 00:31:00,798 Hmm. 520 00:31:00,841 --> 00:31:03,627 How... may I help you? 521 00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:05,237 Sure, well, I'm, uh, Deputy Olmstead, 522 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,021 Scandia Police Department over in Minnesota. 523 00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:08,501 I wanted to ask you some questions 524 00:31:08,544 --> 00:31:09,850 about events that transpired last night. 525 00:31:09,894 --> 00:31:11,678 You and everybody else. 526 00:31:11,722 --> 00:31:13,767 Well, sir, I think I might have a piece of your puzzle. 527 00:31:13,811 --> 00:31:16,596 To wit, the identity of the missing female you assisted. 528 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,991 If I'm right, which I think I am. 529 00:31:20,034 --> 00:31:22,123 Color me intrigued. 530 00:31:22,167 --> 00:31:24,517 Taken from her home yesterday afternoon by two men, we think. 531 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,301 We found blood from one. 532 00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:28,869 Looks like she burned the other fella's face pretty bad. 533 00:31:28,913 --> 00:31:30,479 Sounds like my girl. 534 00:31:30,523 --> 00:31:32,003 Rambo, basically. 535 00:31:32,046 --> 00:31:36,181 Or, uh, the other fella from the TV, uh... 536 00:31:36,224 --> 00:31:38,531 - MacGyver. - Well, I got a picture. 537 00:31:38,574 --> 00:31:39,663 Mm. 538 00:31:41,012 --> 00:31:42,100 What do you know? 539 00:31:43,275 --> 00:31:45,059 It's a party. 540 00:31:45,103 --> 00:31:47,627 Indira Olmstead, Scandia Police Department. 541 00:31:47,671 --> 00:31:49,977 Ah. City girl. 542 00:31:50,021 --> 00:31:51,979 Well, we prefer "women" these days. 543 00:31:52,023 --> 00:31:53,938 But the rest is accurate. 544 00:31:53,981 --> 00:31:55,374 How can we help you, stranger? 545 00:31:55,417 --> 00:31:59,117 Sheriff's Deputy, Stark County. 546 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,772 Sounds like you had a mix-up in my neck of the woods last night, 547 00:32:01,815 --> 00:32:04,818 which we run a pretty tight ship, so... 548 00:32:04,862 --> 00:32:06,777 I take it personal when bad men appear. 549 00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:09,040 This job will grind you down, you take it too personal. 550 00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:12,696 What can I say? I like being on the right side of a gunfight. 551 00:32:12,739 --> 00:32:14,698 Heard you say you had a picture of the perps? 552 00:32:14,741 --> 00:32:17,613 - Uh, victim. Female. - Right. 553 00:32:17,657 --> 00:32:21,356 Saw something about, uh, a woman got taken. 554 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,707 Or escaped or something? 555 00:32:23,750 --> 00:32:26,100 We think these fellas grabbed her up in Minnesota. 556 00:32:26,144 --> 00:32:28,842 Taking her to points west when the trooper pulled them over. 557 00:32:28,886 --> 00:32:31,410 She killed one, the recidivist Donald Ireland, 558 00:32:31,453 --> 00:32:34,543 I think they said. The other one got away. 559 00:32:34,587 --> 00:32:37,851 Sounds like a real Comanche, this female you're hunting. 560 00:32:37,895 --> 00:32:41,681 Like I said, I got a photo. Excuse me. 561 00:32:41,725 --> 00:32:44,771 So, what, she some kind of criminal, also? 562 00:32:44,815 --> 00:32:46,338 Not exactly. 563 00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:48,644 Had a mix-up at her daughter's school this week. 564 00:32:48,688 --> 00:32:50,081 Tased an officer by accident. 565 00:32:50,124 --> 00:32:51,517 How's that happen? 566 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:52,997 Heat of the moment, I'm guessing. 567 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,302 Used to be a saying: 568 00:32:54,346 --> 00:32:57,175 "Minnesota nice." But I was there. 569 00:32:57,218 --> 00:32:59,438 Nothing nice about Minnesota that day. 570 00:32:59,481 --> 00:33:01,440 Oops. What'd I do? 571 00:33:01,483 --> 00:33:03,964 - What did you... ? - I must've, I don't know, I pressed something. 572 00:33:04,008 --> 00:33:07,098 Darn it, you deleted the victim, her photo. 573 00:33:07,141 --> 00:33:09,970 Yeah, me and technology don't see eye to eye. 574 00:33:10,014 --> 00:33:11,319 Especially now. 575 00:33:11,363 --> 00:33:13,800 This wrist-breaker... ah. 576 00:33:13,844 --> 00:33:16,020 No, it-it's my fault. 577 00:33:16,063 --> 00:33:18,196 I'm not sure what I was thinking just bringing the one. 578 00:33:18,239 --> 00:33:20,807 Well, I sure hope you find her. 579 00:33:20,851 --> 00:33:23,157 If it was her, saved my life, I think. 580 00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:25,856 Oh, no, she's home. A little worse for wear 581 00:33:25,899 --> 00:33:27,161 but intact. 582 00:33:27,205 --> 00:33:28,380 Strangest thing, though. 583 00:33:28,423 --> 00:33:30,077 Despite all evidence, 584 00:33:30,121 --> 00:33:31,992 she's claiming it never happened. 585 00:33:32,036 --> 00:33:34,081 Never... what now? 586 00:33:34,125 --> 00:33:35,648 Says nobody broke in. 587 00:33:35,691 --> 00:33:37,302 Says she wasn't taken. 588 00:33:37,345 --> 00:33:38,869 Just went for a wander for ten hours 589 00:33:38,912 --> 00:33:41,045 and then came home and cooked breakfast. 590 00:33:41,088 --> 00:33:42,916 Cry for attention, sounds like. 591 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,354 Drama queen trying to make her husband sick. 592 00:33:46,398 --> 00:33:48,008 Who said she has a husband? 593 00:33:48,052 --> 00:33:49,662 No, I mean, I'm assuming. 594 00:33:49,705 --> 00:33:52,708 Description said 30s in the police report, so... 595 00:33:52,752 --> 00:33:54,406 Well, all I know is, the woman I met broke loose 596 00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:56,974 like somebody who knows how small the cage can get. 597 00:33:58,453 --> 00:34:00,151 Wish you had that picture. 598 00:34:00,194 --> 00:34:02,153 Like to meet that woman again, thank her. 599 00:34:02,196 --> 00:34:04,155 For what? Far as I can tell, 600 00:34:04,198 --> 00:34:06,157 she's the one got you shot in the first place. 601 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,202 Oh, the job got me shot. 602 00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:10,291 She was just... 603 00:34:10,335 --> 00:34:12,467 trying to get free. 604 00:34:12,511 --> 00:34:14,121 But you know what they say. 605 00:34:14,165 --> 00:34:15,340 Protect and serve. 606 00:34:17,037 --> 00:34:19,866 Yeah, I'm down with "protect," but... 607 00:34:19,910 --> 00:34:21,520 I ain't in the service industry. 608 00:34:21,563 --> 00:34:25,393 I'm in the kicking ass and taking names business. 609 00:34:34,228 --> 00:34:35,839 You two have a nice day. 610 00:34:55,684 --> 00:34:57,861 Consider that bitch flummoxed. 611 00:35:30,763 --> 00:35:32,156 What the heck? 612 00:35:32,199 --> 00:35:33,984 Hiya, hon. 613 00:35:37,465 --> 00:35:38,814 What the heck? 614 00:35:38,858 --> 00:35:40,512 Made some shepherd's pie. 615 00:35:46,431 --> 00:35:47,998 Scotty. 616 00:35:49,042 --> 00:35:50,391 What you doing there? 617 00:35:50,435 --> 00:35:52,437 For security. Mom said. 618 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,178 - Yeah. - Oh. 619 00:35:54,221 --> 00:35:55,222 Hon... 620 00:35:55,266 --> 00:35:58,008 Yeah? 621 00:35:58,051 --> 00:36:00,575 Why is there a sledgehammer over the front door? 622 00:36:00,619 --> 00:36:03,187 Well, we talked about an alarm system, 623 00:36:03,230 --> 00:36:06,712 but you said we couldn't afford a good one, so we... 624 00:36:06,755 --> 00:36:08,496 Well, what the heck is... ? 625 00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:10,107 Oh, no, hon, I wouldn't touch that. It's electrified. 626 00:36:10,150 --> 00:36:11,543 It's what? 627 00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:13,501 It's plugged into the wall. 628 00:36:13,545 --> 00:36:15,373 Anyone tries to bust in, 629 00:36:15,416 --> 00:36:17,418 well, they'll get a righteous shock. 630 00:36:23,163 --> 00:36:25,818 Hon, c-can we talk? I... 631 00:36:25,861 --> 00:36:29,082 Wait, how, I'm just gonna... 632 00:36:29,126 --> 00:36:30,692 How about you go upstairs and, uh, 633 00:36:30,736 --> 00:36:33,478 watch some cartoons on your Samsung? 634 00:36:33,521 --> 00:36:35,784 Yeah? 635 00:36:38,483 --> 00:36:41,355 - Yeah. - Let me get my apron off at least. 636 00:36:45,316 --> 00:36:47,318 Uh, Mom came by the lot today. 637 00:36:47,361 --> 00:36:50,234 Er, well, her man did. 638 00:36:50,277 --> 00:36:51,670 Uh, she called in. 639 00:36:51,713 --> 00:36:53,498 Yeah, she... 640 00:36:53,541 --> 00:36:55,282 I saw her, too. 641 00:36:55,326 --> 00:36:56,762 But don't worry. 642 00:36:56,805 --> 00:36:58,851 I think we came to an understanding. 643 00:36:58,894 --> 00:37:00,461 She said that, or... ? 644 00:37:00,505 --> 00:37:02,463 - No. - Oh. 645 00:37:02,507 --> 00:37:05,814 But women understand each other. 646 00:37:05,858 --> 00:37:08,904 Well, hon, I don't think you do... 647 00:37:08,948 --> 00:37:11,995 u-understand each other. 648 00:37:12,038 --> 00:37:14,519 She... She's litigating against you, see. 649 00:37:14,562 --> 00:37:17,261 She, uh... 650 00:37:17,304 --> 00:37:19,567 Well, she thinks you made this whole thing up. 651 00:37:19,611 --> 00:37:23,528 I... I mean, the whole thing sounds... loony. 652 00:37:23,571 --> 00:37:27,227 But she-she thinks you're some kind of con woman. 653 00:37:27,271 --> 00:37:29,969 Uh, playing us for our money. 654 00:37:30,013 --> 00:37:31,753 Uh, in league with the kidnappers. 655 00:37:31,797 --> 00:37:33,277 I just... 656 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:37,063 Told you, there were no kidnappers, just... 657 00:37:37,107 --> 00:37:38,586 Drove around to-to clear your head. 658 00:37:38,630 --> 00:37:40,632 But-but, hon, the-the... 659 00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,547 The-the car was here the whole time. 660 00:37:42,590 --> 00:37:43,852 Walking, I said, or I-I... 661 00:37:43,896 --> 00:37:45,332 Listen, I believe you. 662 00:37:45,376 --> 00:37:48,074 I'm not the one you got to... I just... 663 00:37:48,118 --> 00:37:49,815 And she said she can get the cops out of the equation. 664 00:37:49,858 --> 00:37:53,471 You know, her friend the attorney general, but, hon... 665 00:37:53,514 --> 00:37:55,864 You know, from-from where she's sitting the-the whole thing 666 00:37:55,908 --> 00:37:57,562 don't make a lot of sense. 667 00:38:01,392 --> 00:38:03,829 But it makes sense to us. 668 00:38:04,830 --> 00:38:06,614 That's what matters, right? 669 00:38:06,658 --> 00:38:09,922 Yeah, maybe. 670 00:38:09,965 --> 00:38:14,535 But, hon... wh-why-why is there a, a-a sledgehammer 671 00:38:14,579 --> 00:38:16,233 in the vestibule? 672 00:38:16,276 --> 00:38:19,062 A-And how come Scotty's making a zombie killer? 673 00:38:19,105 --> 00:38:21,977 Well, like she said. Security. 674 00:38:22,021 --> 00:38:23,196 From what? 675 00:38:23,240 --> 00:38:24,632 Hon... 676 00:38:24,676 --> 00:38:26,373 No, I-I'm just trying to, you know... 677 00:38:26,417 --> 00:38:30,203 No. You can't. You-you weren't there. 678 00:38:30,247 --> 00:38:31,726 At the school board. 679 00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:35,817 Neighbor against neighbor. 680 00:38:35,861 --> 00:38:37,384 Society's breaking down here. 681 00:38:37,428 --> 00:38:39,082 The social structure. 682 00:38:39,125 --> 00:38:42,041 What side you're on, whether you're for or against, 683 00:38:42,085 --> 00:38:45,653 I-I'm just saying... 684 00:38:46,872 --> 00:38:48,439 We need to wake up here. 685 00:38:48,482 --> 00:38:50,919 Protect ourselves, in case... 686 00:38:50,963 --> 00:38:52,704 In case what? 687 00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:55,054 In case... 688 00:38:55,098 --> 00:38:57,752 ruffians at the door. 689 00:38:57,796 --> 00:39:00,929 Or Mr. Abernathy decides he wants revenge. 690 00:39:00,973 --> 00:39:02,801 Or a thousand other maybes. 691 00:39:02,844 --> 00:39:04,455 Uh, who? 692 00:39:04,498 --> 00:39:05,891 Scotty's math teacher. 693 00:39:05,934 --> 00:39:07,197 The fella I tased before the cop. 694 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:08,720 Y-You tased the math teacher? 695 00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:10,461 Well... 696 00:39:10,504 --> 00:39:12,332 I got a bad feeling, hon. 697 00:39:12,376 --> 00:39:14,334 - Yeah. - People do. 698 00:39:14,378 --> 00:39:16,075 It's not just me. 699 00:39:16,119 --> 00:39:18,643 And I'm, I-I'm not saying that we should build a bunker. 700 00:39:18,686 --> 00:39:21,820 Or stockpile long guns. 701 00:39:21,863 --> 00:39:23,387 A few common sense... 702 00:39:23,430 --> 00:39:26,520 Hon, y-y-y-you got electric wire on the windows. 703 00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:27,956 A few practical solutions. 704 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,828 Unless you're ready to step up 705 00:39:29,871 --> 00:39:33,745 and go state of the art, really sink some capital into it. 706 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:37,096 I-I... Should we, I don't know, sh-sh-sh-should we get a gun? 707 00:39:37,140 --> 00:39:40,882 See? Oh. Now you're thinking. 708 00:39:40,926 --> 00:39:43,581 A gun is a great idea. We should get a shotgun. 709 00:39:43,624 --> 00:39:45,365 - Oh. - And maybe a pistol for the bedroom. 710 00:39:45,409 --> 00:39:48,020 - Ah. - And maybe we could replace my Taser, too. 711 00:39:48,063 --> 00:39:50,762 And, I don't know, maybe some kind of net. 712 00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:53,156 - Just in case they, uh... - A net? 713 00:39:53,199 --> 00:39:54,199 - Huh? - Huh? 714 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,549 All I'm saying is-is, 715 00:39:55,593 --> 00:39:57,682 now we're speaking the same language. 716 00:40:00,946 --> 00:40:02,469 Oh, you're such a gentle guy. 717 00:40:02,513 --> 00:40:03,818 - Yeah. - Yeah. 718 00:40:03,862 --> 00:40:06,169 I know how hard this is. 719 00:40:07,300 --> 00:40:09,172 I-I just want to play floor hockey 720 00:40:09,215 --> 00:40:12,479 in my socks with Scotty again and watch Real Housewives. 721 00:40:12,523 --> 00:40:13,959 I know. 722 00:40:15,090 --> 00:40:17,528 And we can and we will. 723 00:40:17,571 --> 00:40:21,836 Hey. We just got to take care of a few things first. 724 00:40:28,147 --> 00:40:30,802 All I ever wanted was... 725 00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:34,588 Y-You're my dream come true. 726 00:40:38,331 --> 00:40:40,768 And you're mine. 727 00:40:47,166 --> 00:40:49,342 Come on, mister. 728 00:40:49,386 --> 00:40:51,562 Before your daughter's brain turns to sludge. 729 00:40:51,605 --> 00:40:53,564 Yeah. 730 00:40:53,607 --> 00:40:55,261 Hey, Scotty. 731 00:40:57,785 --> 00:40:59,613 Let's eat! 732 00:41:19,154 --> 00:41:20,895 Pull in here. I got to take a piss. 733 00:41:53,363 --> 00:41:55,713 - Want a pop? - No, I'm fine. 734 00:42:02,415 --> 00:42:04,199 Whoa. 735 00:43:04,477 --> 00:43:06,087 I got us some jerky. 736 00:43:08,220 --> 00:43:09,656 Spicy kind. 737 00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:12,137 You better keep those windows down. 738 00:43:30,068 --> 00:43:31,591 Fuck, that's hot. 739 00:43:47,781 --> 00:43:50,436 Where is this guy? 740 00:43:56,486 --> 00:43:58,052 Oh, my God. 741 00:43:59,010 --> 00:44:00,707 Oh, my God. 742 00:44:20,205 --> 00:44:21,641 Oh, shit. 743 00:44:25,210 --> 00:44:26,864 Oh, shit. 744 00:44:11,190 --> 00:44:13,817 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -