1
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Good morning. Good morning.
2
00:00:03,025 --> 00:00:04,443
Good morning.
3
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Good morning, Mrs. Howard.
4
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- Tariq.
- Huh?
5
00:00:08,397 --> 00:00:09,690
What are you doing here?
6
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Janine's down at the district now.
7
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Dang, she moved to D.C.?
8
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And take your presumably
sticky hands off of my student.
9
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You mean take my definitely
sticky hands off of my son.
10
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To quote Maury Povich,
you are not the father.
11
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And to quote the hip-hop
legend Shaquille O'Neal,
12
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his biological didn't bother.
13
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See, I've been dating his mama
for like seven weeks,
14
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so technically,
I'm a stepdaddy right now.
15
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Ain't that right, Tariq Jr.?
16
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That is not his name.
17
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Hey, have a good day at school, TJ.
18
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I love you, son.
19
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He just like me.
20
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I guess this technically
makes you, like,
21
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my stepteacher now, right?
22
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That's cool. That's cool.
23
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Tariq...
24
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Play-Doh.
25
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Mm-hmm.
26
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- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
27
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:08,860
My fellowship at the school
district is going great.
28
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I'm still getting the lay of the land.
29
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I just finished helping out
with our team's
30
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emergency generator plans,
which was right up my alley
31
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because I'm afraid
of all natural disasters.
32
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Of which there will be scores
in our lifetime.
33
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I also love to hang out
by the water cooler.
34
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Uh, no gossip yet,
but I'm super hydrated
35
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,420
and actually need to wrap this up
36
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so that I can pee before
my big presentation, so...
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And this is why I'm proposing
an educational interpreter
38
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for a hard-of-hearing student
at Abbott Elementary
39
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using the Specialized Services Fund.
40
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This was brought to my attention
by Mr. Jacob Hill,
41
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a teacher over at Abbott.
42
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We're well aware of Mr. Hill.
43
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He's submitted his résumé several times
44
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at the behest of no one.
45
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His student... her name
is Imani... is making do.
46
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You know, Mr. Hill
knows some sign language,
47
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but we could be doing more.
48
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So this project is for just one kid?
49
00:01:55,442 --> 00:01:57,319
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
50
00:01:57,319 --> 00:01:58,862
Follow the guidelines,
and it's approved.
51
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Thank you.
52
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,203
Oh, my God!
53
00:02:06,203 --> 00:02:08,038
How fast do you think we can get
an interpreter down here?
54
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The good news is,
that's completely up to you.
55
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Oh, my God. I pick tomorrow.
No, I pick today.
56
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Whoa, that's ambitious.
57
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Just a heads up,
since it is only for one kid,
58
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you gotta do all the approvals
and paperwork
59
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and hiring yourself.
60
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It won't be easy, so, uh... good luck.
61
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"Taken," right?
62
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I didn't think you'd get that.
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What a fun movie.
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Well, Janine doesn't need luck.
She has a special set of skills.
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Roads? Where we're going,
we don't need roads.
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- That's not from "Taken."
- No, I know.
67
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I thought we were just
doing lines from movies.
68
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'Cause I love "Taken," right?
69
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"Aw, man, they took my daughter!"
70
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I haven't seen it,
but I should work on this.
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- Go get 'em.
- Thanks.
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Yo, my man Mr. Eddie eating his lunch.
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Bro be eating salad.
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Yo, Mr. Eddie,
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does eating vegetables
help you get the ladies?
76
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It's got to. You be getting mad females.
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More vegetables, more females. Bet.
78
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That's what you tellin' us, Mr. Eddie?
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I've literally said nothing.
80
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Nah, bro, that's low-key genius.
81
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More greens...
82
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More girls!
83
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First, it was one or two of them
coming in every once in a while.
84
00:03:15,272 --> 00:03:18,192
Now others have joined,
and it's every day.
85
00:03:18,192 --> 00:03:19,943
I found out Mr. Morton's
been using his classroom
86
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for lunchtime couples therapy,
87
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so they have nowhere else to hang.
88
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I wish the Mortons understood
the collateral damage
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their relationship is causing.
90
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Mr. Eddie, do you think the Orioles...
91
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Well, that's what happens, hon.
92
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Hey. Look who it is.
93
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I forgot to mention
that Tariq is now the father
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of one of the students in my class.
95
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You know, I got so good
at ignoring Janine,
96
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I never noticed she was pregnant.
97
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That child does not have a child.
98
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Tariq is just dating
the student's mother.
99
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- Ah.
- Hey, Mrs. Howard.
100
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Hey, mean Italian lady.
101
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Tariq, you cannot keep
showing up here unannounced.
102
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Okay, but it's an emergency.
103
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,527
I accidentally took TJ's lunch
and I gave him mine,
104
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so I'mma just switch
these out real quick.
105
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Take that from you, Playboy.
106
00:04:06,823 --> 00:04:08,367
Thank you. And I'm out of your hair.
107
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That is a Lunchable.
108
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And it is delicious.
109
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All right, have a good day, Junior.
110
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You're not my dad!
111
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That boy hilarious.
112
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And he get that from me. Bye, y'all.
113
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Mm, mm!
114
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So, I figured out how to make
this ASL interpreter happen.
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All I need to do is find
some qualified candidates,
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interview them, fill out this paperwork,
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then do a background check,
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followed by an employment verification
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and then a compatibility check.
120
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And right after I talk to accounting
121
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and run it through HR.
122
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And not fall behind
on any of my other work, so...
123
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You're looking for accounts payable.
124
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We're accounting. You need
to go down to the third floor.
125
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My B.
126
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These aren't notarized,
127
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and you're gonna need to get
a background check completed
128
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and approved by HR
before we can sign off.
129
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Not a problem. Thank you.
130
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Uh, unh-unh. This isn't notarized yet.
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Well, see, the notary went out to lunch,
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so I figured I'd just come to you first.
133
00:05:01,545 --> 00:05:04,046
Okay, you're gonna need to see
Emily to make an official request.
134
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,368
All right. On my way to Emily.
135
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Emily!
136
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No problem.
137
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All I have to do is stamp
the word "official" on it.
138
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Okay, great.
139
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But I can't find my stamp,
140
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so just get this notarized,
141
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and in 24 hours to 8 weeks,
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you'll get the most recent directory,
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and I'll probably have found my stamp.
144
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Great news.
145
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So I went back to HR
146
00:05:25,235 --> 00:05:28,030
and they told me to see
the woman in office 237,
147
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and she'll be able
to help me with everything.
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So... this is my office.
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Okay. Damn it.
150
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Hello, Janine.
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Oh! What the hell?!
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I cannot believe you have
a picture of Gregory
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in your desk drawer.
154
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You thought you did for a second.
155
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What are you doing here?
156
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I'm here with a demand.
157
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You mean a request.
158
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I need a company card.
159
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A card, or a car?
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- Card?
- No.
161
00:05:52,137 --> 00:05:53,430
- Car?
- No, also, no.
162
00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:54,993
Ava, please, please.
163
00:05:55,018 --> 00:05:57,451
I'm busy trying to get an ASL
translator for Jacob's class.
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Oh! I'll hire one for you.
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I'll put it on the company card.
166
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You are not getting a company card.
167
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What is the point of having
you here as my mole
168
00:06:03,523 --> 00:06:05,317
- if you can't even...
- I'm not a mole!
169
00:06:05,317 --> 00:06:07,152
Yeah. More like a pimple.
170
00:06:07,152 --> 00:06:08,987
And I'm more important than
whatever you're doing for Jacob.
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00:06:08,987 --> 00:06:10,947
I am trying to help one of his students.
172
00:06:10,947 --> 00:06:12,657
Well, I'm gonna hit the break room
173
00:06:12,657 --> 00:06:14,868
and get another one of these
free fancy bubbly waters.
174
00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:16,953
We don't have bubbly waters for fr...
175
00:06:16,953 --> 00:06:18,914
Did you take that out
of the communal fridge?
176
00:06:18,914 --> 00:06:20,884
I brought this from home.
177
00:06:25,087 --> 00:06:27,464
Hey! I love these random pop-ins.
178
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Really helps fill the
Janine-sized hole in my heart.
179
00:06:29,841 --> 00:06:31,134
Well, this isn't a social visit.
180
00:06:31,134 --> 00:06:32,552
I need you to keep your kids
out of my class.
181
00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:34,721
Mm, pretty sure all my kids
are in my class,
182
00:06:34,721 --> 00:06:36,932
but also, it's not currently class.
183
00:06:36,932 --> 00:06:38,809
I mean during lunchtime.
184
00:06:38,809 --> 00:06:41,103
And on my free period and after school
185
00:06:41,103 --> 00:06:43,980
and any non-work-related time, okay?
186
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:46,024
They come into my class and they loiter.
187
00:06:46,024 --> 00:06:48,902
Loiter? That feels racially charged.
188
00:06:48,902 --> 00:06:51,822
They sit on top of the desks.
189
00:06:51,822 --> 00:06:53,990
They eat their little snack packs,
190
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:56,410
and then they talk nonstop.
191
00:06:56,410 --> 00:06:59,830
- They're...
- Okay, okay, easy. I'm sorry, I just...
192
00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:02,332
I don't see what the big problem is.
193
00:07:02,332 --> 00:07:05,415
I didn't want to have to say this...
194
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,212
but a considerable amount
of gas was passed.
195
00:07:07,212 --> 00:07:09,256
Did you actually hear it,
196
00:07:09,256 --> 00:07:10,876
because, you know, whoever smelt it...
197
00:07:10,901 --> 00:07:12,651
I need them to hang out
literally anywhere else.
198
00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:14,136
Wait, wait, hold on.
199
00:07:14,136 --> 00:07:16,346
Are you saying that in their free time,
200
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:18,390
these kids are voluntarily choosing
201
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,724
to come into your classroom?
202
00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:21,768
You're beginning to understand
the gravity of the situation now.
203
00:07:21,768 --> 00:07:24,020
Oh, my God! Don't you see?
204
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:25,063
See what?
205
00:07:25,063 --> 00:07:27,274
Gregory...
206
00:07:27,274 --> 00:07:28,892
you're the cool teacher.
207
00:07:30,313 --> 00:07:32,482
What?
208
00:07:32,507 --> 00:07:33,883
- No.
- Yeah! You're cool.
209
00:07:33,908 --> 00:07:34,909
No, I'm not.
210
00:07:34,934 --> 00:07:36,657
- You are.
- No. Take it back.
211
00:07:37,477 --> 00:07:38,579
Farrah's birthday is coming up,
212
00:07:38,604 --> 00:07:39,772
and I already know what I'm getting her.
213
00:07:39,797 --> 00:07:41,704
A new chain... for me.
214
00:07:42,414 --> 00:07:44,124
Wait. What?
215
00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:45,500
Think about it, man.
216
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,003
She'll get to have a boyfriend,
but with a new chain.
217
00:07:48,003 --> 00:07:50,755
Oh, yeah. Guess that makes sense.
218
00:07:50,755 --> 00:07:51,992
Farrah's gonna love it.
219
00:07:52,017 --> 00:07:53,675
Back me up, Mr. Eddie.
220
00:07:53,675 --> 00:07:56,803
I will not. She's not gonna love it.
221
00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:58,374
It's a gift for you, not for her.
222
00:07:58,399 --> 00:08:00,307
What?
223
00:08:00,307 --> 00:08:02,767
I'm giving her status,
the world's greatest currency.
224
00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:04,954
Well, hold on. Let's hear him out.
225
00:08:04,979 --> 00:08:08,165
We know Mr. Eddie's roster
is strong. Right, Mr. Eddie?
226
00:08:08,190 --> 00:08:09,446
True.
227
00:08:09,471 --> 00:08:12,127
Okay, um, I do not have a "roster."
228
00:08:12,152 --> 00:08:14,154
As a grown man?
229
00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:15,822
Sorry to hear that.
230
00:08:15,822 --> 00:08:18,867
I don't call it that
because I am a grown man.
231
00:08:18,867 --> 00:08:20,702
Listen, you guys are young, right?
232
00:08:20,702 --> 00:08:23,955
Don't buy a new chain,
and don't worry about girls.
233
00:08:23,955 --> 00:08:27,292
Just focus on school,
and I promise you, later,
234
00:08:27,292 --> 00:08:30,170
you will have plenty of time
to think about girls.
235
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:32,172
Trust me.
236
00:08:32,172 --> 00:08:33,840
Yes, the position's been approved,
237
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,551
and we think you'd make a
great fit for Mr. Hill's class.
238
00:08:36,551 --> 00:08:38,762
Well, no, it's not full-time.
239
00:08:38,762 --> 00:08:42,390
No, you... you wouldn't qualify
for health benefits.
240
00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:45,227
Again, no, but there is
so much street parking.
241
00:08:45,227 --> 00:08:46,228
You... Hello?
242
00:08:46,228 --> 00:08:47,437
- Hey.
- Hey.
243
00:08:47,437 --> 00:08:48,605
How's all this going?
244
00:08:48,605 --> 00:08:49,773
Well, to be honest,
245
00:08:49,773 --> 00:08:51,316
I'm... I'm having a little bit
of trouble
246
00:08:51,316 --> 00:08:53,360
finding someone who would do it
for the hours and the pay.
247
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,903
Yeah, that's the way it goes.
248
00:08:54,903 --> 00:08:57,280
District protocol makes most
of these projects fizzle out.
249
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,282
Whoa, it sounds way worse
when he says it.
250
00:08:59,282 --> 00:09:02,035
I mean, what he's saying is true.
251
00:09:02,035 --> 00:09:04,329
It just sounds worse when he says it.
252
00:09:04,329 --> 00:09:05,872
It's okay if you can't do it.
253
00:09:05,872 --> 00:09:08,833
Oh...
254
00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:11,753
Uh, you guys aren't
familiar with my game.
255
00:09:11,753 --> 00:09:14,923
Uh, I-I-I-I get it.
You know, it's the district.
256
00:09:14,923 --> 00:09:17,092
It's the big leagues.
257
00:09:17,092 --> 00:09:19,177
But I'm the Big Teagues.
258
00:09:19,177 --> 00:09:20,762
The Big Teagues?
259
00:09:20,762 --> 00:09:22,055
Yeah, so...
260
00:09:22,055 --> 00:09:24,057
Uh, yeah, I'm working on that and this,
261
00:09:24,057 --> 00:09:26,637
so I'll figure them both out.
262
00:09:29,229 --> 00:09:32,315
You know, uh, I thought we
could watch "Set It Off" later?
263
00:09:32,315 --> 00:09:33,984
Maybe? Yeah?
264
00:09:33,984 --> 00:09:36,319
My daddy showed it to me
when I was way too young,
265
00:09:36,319 --> 00:09:38,655
so I thought I would do
the same for you, TJ, huh?
266
00:09:38,655 --> 00:09:41,491
Good morning. Good morning.
267
00:09:41,491 --> 00:09:43,743
You know, everybody who has ever met me
268
00:09:43,743 --> 00:09:45,662
has loved me, Mrs. Howard,
but I don't think TJ does.
269
00:09:45,662 --> 00:09:47,372
That's not true, Tariq.
270
00:09:47,372 --> 00:09:48,790
He does love me?
271
00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:51,626
Look, what exactly are you
trying to accomplish here?
272
00:09:51,626 --> 00:09:53,837
Well, you know, I might end up
being his common-law dad
273
00:09:53,837 --> 00:09:56,172
if I common-law marry his mom,
274
00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:59,134
so I would like to connect with
him so we could be a family for real...
275
00:09:59,134 --> 00:10:00,343
under the common law.
276
00:10:00,343 --> 00:10:01,720
Well, then you're going to have
277
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,723
to establish a genuine
relationship with him.
278
00:10:04,723 --> 00:10:06,474
At the start of every school year,
279
00:10:06,474 --> 00:10:08,977
it usually takes me a few weeks
to connect with the students,
280
00:10:08,977 --> 00:10:12,188
and I start by using their names.
281
00:10:12,188 --> 00:10:14,858
So you might consider calling him Nick.
282
00:10:14,858 --> 00:10:16,860
Mm, I don't think it's a good idea
283
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:18,361
to be making up names for the boy.
284
00:10:18,361 --> 00:10:20,113
You know, it might confuse little TJ.
285
00:10:20,113 --> 00:10:22,449
Nick is his actual name.
286
00:10:22,449 --> 00:10:23,700
It is?
287
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,827
You... Good morning.
288
00:10:25,827 --> 00:10:27,245
Okay, Mrs. Howard. All right.
289
00:10:27,245 --> 00:10:28,997
- Yeah, everyone's good.
- Mm.
290
00:10:28,997 --> 00:10:31,625
The kids think Gregory's
cool now, which...
291
00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:33,835
I'm so glad that I'm secure
enough that it doesn't bother me
292
00:10:33,835 --> 00:10:35,295
that it's him and not me.
293
00:10:35,295 --> 00:10:36,338
That's good because usually...
294
00:10:36,338 --> 00:10:38,131
Yeah, I am not threatened at all.
295
00:10:38,131 --> 00:10:40,216
Anyways, how is it going
down at the district?
296
00:10:40,216 --> 00:10:41,551
Tell me everything.
297
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:44,300
Um... you know, they're good.
298
00:10:44,325 --> 00:10:45,847
It's good.
299
00:10:45,847 --> 00:10:48,183
Except...
300
00:10:48,183 --> 00:10:50,352
I am having a little bit of trouble
301
00:10:50,352 --> 00:10:52,896
getting the ASL interpreter.
302
00:10:52,896 --> 00:10:55,190
And I'm gonna fight through it
the way I always do,
303
00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:56,733
but I don't know...
304
00:10:56,733 --> 00:10:58,401
it's just a different beast over there.
305
00:10:58,401 --> 00:10:59,611
Don't... Don't... Don't stress about it.
306
00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:00,987
Imani's parents helped her
307
00:11:00,987 --> 00:11:02,697
to get a better speech-to-text program,
308
00:11:02,697 --> 00:11:04,866
my ASL is getting better, so...
309
00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:07,744
I can fill in the gaps.
310
00:11:07,744 --> 00:11:09,412
Yeah, we are managing.
311
00:11:09,412 --> 00:11:11,665
And believe me...
I know how the district is.
312
00:11:11,665 --> 00:11:15,752
Yeah, but I am the district now,
and I was a teacher,
313
00:11:15,752 --> 00:11:18,421
so I get how big this can be.
314
00:11:18,421 --> 00:11:21,424
We'll be good no matter what, I promise.
315
00:11:21,424 --> 00:11:23,635
It's okay.
316
00:11:23,635 --> 00:11:26,304
All right, well, thanks for saying that.
317
00:11:26,304 --> 00:11:29,349
We have so many important things
to juggle at the district.
318
00:11:29,349 --> 00:11:32,060
I'm learning you just have
to prioritize your time.
319
00:11:34,312 --> 00:11:38,983
I don't know. I-I-I wish
I could get the interpreter...
320
00:11:38,983 --> 00:11:40,819
but...
321
00:11:40,819 --> 00:11:42,278
I just hate that feeling.
322
00:11:43,794 --> 00:11:45,129
And...
323
00:11:45,154 --> 00:11:48,176
Uh-oh, Mr. C recapping
one of his boring shows again?
324
00:11:52,647 --> 00:11:56,019
Let me guess... his stories
about Martin Short are Martin long.
325
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,059
All right, y'all go to class.
326
00:12:03,258 --> 00:12:05,009
- Did you see that?
- Yes, and, you know,
327
00:12:05,009 --> 00:12:06,469
I really think
they would respect me more
328
00:12:06,469 --> 00:12:08,805
if you wouldn't make
so many jokes at my expense.
329
00:12:08,805 --> 00:12:10,098
I was talking about Imani.
330
00:12:10,098 --> 00:12:11,558
Why she so late on all my jokes?
331
00:12:11,558 --> 00:12:13,081
Oh, it's her hearing aid.
332
00:12:13,106 --> 00:12:15,103
It has issues when
she's in a group setting,
333
00:12:15,103 --> 00:12:16,706
and so she uses her tablet,
334
00:12:16,731 --> 00:12:18,982
which, you know,
takes a second to transcribe.
335
00:12:18,982 --> 00:12:20,495
But you can't learn on a tape delay.
336
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,277
And I must be experienced live.
337
00:12:22,277 --> 00:12:23,945
I thought Janine was helping
with all of this.
338
00:12:23,945 --> 00:12:25,739
I think it just got too hard.
339
00:12:25,739 --> 00:12:28,074
For Janine? The person who got
a commercial driver's license
340
00:12:28,074 --> 00:12:30,105
so she could drive a bus
in case someone went down?
341
00:12:30,130 --> 00:12:32,328
Hell no.
342
00:12:32,328 --> 00:12:34,289
Ah, if it isn't Joe Cool.
343
00:12:35,592 --> 00:12:37,350
We missed you at the bar last night.
344
00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:39,836
I had a few too many Aperol spritzes.
345
00:12:39,836 --> 00:12:42,088
I might need to take a nap-erol spritz.
346
00:12:42,088 --> 00:12:43,923
You stole that joke
from Janine, didn't you?
347
00:12:43,923 --> 00:12:46,301
What, are you the comedy police now?
348
00:12:46,301 --> 00:12:50,096
I... hate... you... Mr. Eddie!
349
00:12:50,096 --> 00:12:52,636
Sweetheart, what is the matter?
350
00:12:52,661 --> 00:12:57,187
Mr. Eddie told Javon
that he should break up with me!
351
00:12:57,187 --> 00:12:58,938
No, no, no, no, no. I did not say that.
352
00:12:58,938 --> 00:13:00,669
Well, what did you say?
353
00:13:00,694 --> 00:13:03,501
Um, Javon was talking
about getting a new chain,
354
00:13:03,526 --> 00:13:06,059
so I told him that he should
just, you know, focus on school.
355
00:13:06,084 --> 00:13:07,714
He was gonna buy a new chain?!
356
00:13:07,739 --> 00:13:10,158
Okay, are you kidding me?!
357
00:13:10,158 --> 00:13:12,619
We've been trying to get Javon
to buy a new chain for months.
358
00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:14,079
The old one made him like a gavone.
359
00:13:14,079 --> 00:13:16,706
We finally had him convinced
it was his idea.
360
00:13:16,706 --> 00:13:19,959
The devil's got her. Be gone, Satan!
361
00:13:19,959 --> 00:13:21,503
I'mma get my holy mop water.
362
00:13:21,503 --> 00:13:24,881
There, there, sweetheart.
Let's go plot our revenge.
363
00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:28,551
Gregory Eddie, is no woman safe
364
00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:32,305
from your incompetence
with the opposite sex?
365
00:13:32,305 --> 00:13:33,431
Mm!
366
00:13:35,266 --> 00:13:37,727
Well, Gregory? Is no?
367
00:13:37,727 --> 00:13:39,103
Is no what?
368
00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:40,355
Exactly.
369
00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:44,025
I gotta go...
370
00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:49,887
Farrah gonna be fine. Chill.
371
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,247
She hates you, bro.
372
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:55,090
Oh, come on, man.
373
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,502
Yeah, yeah, that sounds good to me.
374
00:14:02,502 --> 00:14:05,046
I'm going someplace
more private right now.
375
00:14:05,046 --> 00:14:06,708
No, you're not.
376
00:14:07,298 --> 00:14:09,133
You just made me hang up
on a Nigerian prince!
377
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:10,255
Why are you in my classroom?
378
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,111
'Cause it's the only one
that's not bugged.
379
00:14:12,136 --> 00:14:14,222
Why are you in here hiding, anyway?
380
00:14:14,222 --> 00:14:17,058
Unfortunately, I have
become the cool teacher.
381
00:14:18,768 --> 00:14:20,019
Are you done?
382
00:14:23,314 --> 00:14:25,400
The kids keep coming in here
and talking about things
383
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,277
that I just don't feel
comfortable weighing in on.
384
00:14:27,277 --> 00:14:29,279
Join the club. You think
I want you coming up to me
385
00:14:29,279 --> 00:14:30,947
asking for advice all the time?
386
00:14:30,947 --> 00:14:33,116
- I don't do that.
- Please.
387
00:14:33,116 --> 00:14:35,785
Just think where you'd be
if it weren't for me...
388
00:14:35,785 --> 00:14:37,412
Dead.
389
00:14:37,412 --> 00:14:39,497
Hey, where do you get off?
390
00:14:39,497 --> 00:14:41,624
I got all these girls
coming to me for advice,
391
00:14:41,624 --> 00:14:43,960
I'm managing a million
pre-teen relationships,
392
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,378
and you go and torpedo everything.
393
00:14:45,378 --> 00:14:46,921
Look, I didn't want
any part of this, okay?
394
00:14:46,921 --> 00:14:48,590
They came in and they asked me.
395
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:50,425
They... They came to you?
396
00:14:52,594 --> 00:14:55,138
Like you're some kind of
cool teacher or something?
397
00:14:55,138 --> 00:14:57,278
I'm just as perplexed as you.
398
00:14:57,303 --> 00:14:59,284
I thought the kids coming
in here and farting was bad,
399
00:14:59,309 --> 00:15:00,602
but I see it can be a lot worse.
400
00:15:00,602 --> 00:15:01,895
He doesn't want to be cool.
401
00:15:01,895 --> 00:15:04,063
Says 'cause he hates kids.
402
00:15:04,063 --> 00:15:06,190
You'd think a man who's been
given a second chance at life
403
00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:07,775
might want to pay it forward.
404
00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:09,944
Okay, I don't hate kids.
405
00:15:09,944 --> 00:15:11,637
I just don't want
the responsibility, okay?
406
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:12,755
And I like my alone time.
407
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:14,122
Okay, that's fine.
408
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,400
You don't have to do it.
I mean, they're not your kids.
409
00:15:16,425 --> 00:15:18,428
- Right, e-exactly.
- Yeah.
410
00:15:18,453 --> 00:15:21,247
I teach first graders.
That's what I'm here to do.
411
00:15:21,272 --> 00:15:25,568
And the way I look at it is,
I am here for the kids.
412
00:15:25,593 --> 00:15:27,437
But if you want to go ahead
and hide out in here,
413
00:15:27,462 --> 00:15:28,755
go ahead and do it.
414
00:15:28,755 --> 00:15:30,590
Either way, you owe us a chain, Fonzie.
415
00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:33,843
Glad I could help Gregory with
his problem-filled life yet again,
416
00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:36,721
but I'm about to become
real rich real quick.
417
00:15:38,056 --> 00:15:39,515
Why am I leaving?
418
00:15:39,515 --> 00:15:41,392
- Wait.
- That's what you're hung up on?
419
00:15:41,392 --> 00:15:43,811
She was taken by U2?
I really need to see this movie.
420
00:15:43,811 --> 00:15:44,812
It's unbelievable.
421
00:15:44,812 --> 00:15:47,649
Janine! Janine!
422
00:15:49,108 --> 00:15:51,861
If you could just excuse
me for a minute. Thanks.
423
00:15:53,363 --> 00:15:55,615
Ava, now is not a good time.
424
00:15:55,615 --> 00:15:57,075
I don't need to schedule
a meeting to see my mole.
425
00:15:57,075 --> 00:15:58,326
I am not your mole.
426
00:15:58,326 --> 00:15:59,744
Way to keep your cover, girl.
427
00:15:59,744 --> 00:16:01,913
Look, you have got to get
that ASL interpreter.
428
00:16:01,913 --> 00:16:03,790
Little Imani is missing out in class,
429
00:16:03,790 --> 00:16:06,042
and even worse,
she's missing all my zingers.
430
00:16:06,042 --> 00:16:07,502
Look, I mean, I-I tried,
431
00:16:07,502 --> 00:16:10,213
but it was taking me away from things,
432
00:16:10,213 --> 00:16:12,507
important things
that they need my input on,
433
00:16:12,507 --> 00:16:14,801
and, you know, the interpreter
just seemed impossible.
434
00:16:14,801 --> 00:16:17,720
Us being friends...
acquaintances... was impossible,
435
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,948
but you made that happen.
436
00:16:18,973 --> 00:16:20,431
This is different.
437
00:16:20,431 --> 00:16:22,600
There's really just too much red tape.
438
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,102
That's no excuse.
439
00:16:24,102 --> 00:16:26,354
Look, I got our 8th graders
a field trip to GameStop.
440
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:28,314
I let somebody bring
their pet alligator to school.
441
00:16:28,314 --> 00:16:30,149
Ava Fest is a fire hazard.
442
00:16:30,149 --> 00:16:32,443
I've risked everyone's lives,
and I will do so again,
443
00:16:32,443 --> 00:16:34,028
because that's what we do for our kids.
444
00:16:36,572 --> 00:16:39,409
Yeah. Now... while you're
mulling that over,
445
00:16:39,409 --> 00:16:40,785
I have other business to discuss.
446
00:16:40,785 --> 00:16:42,328
I'm in need of some assistants.
447
00:16:42,328 --> 00:16:43,871
- Assistance with what?
- No.
448
00:16:43,871 --> 00:16:45,331
- I need two assistants.
- Get out.
449
00:16:45,331 --> 00:16:46,723
Fine.
450
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:49,461
Tariq has a son in Barbara's class.
451
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,154
Bye!
452
00:16:52,463 --> 00:16:54,674
Here we go. That's right.
453
00:16:54,674 --> 00:16:56,968
Bye-bye, darling. Do that homework, now.
454
00:16:56,968 --> 00:16:58,622
All right, Nick.
455
00:16:59,595 --> 00:17:01,389
It's time to pack up your things, Nick.
456
00:17:01,389 --> 00:17:02,724
You get to choose
where we're eating tonight,
457
00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:04,308
as long as you say Bahama Breeze.
458
00:17:04,308 --> 00:17:07,044
I'm just playin', Nick.
We could do a picnic.
459
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,363
You get to pick, Nick.
It's your call, man. Come on.
460
00:17:09,605 --> 00:17:11,065
Yeah.
461
00:17:11,065 --> 00:17:13,443
That's a good start, Tariq.
462
00:17:13,443 --> 00:17:14,861
It's actually Nick Sr. now.
463
00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:16,529
You know what?
464
00:17:16,529 --> 00:17:19,532
Your advice goes harder
than that thang, Mrs. Howard.
465
00:17:19,532 --> 00:17:20,786
You know what?
466
00:17:20,811 --> 00:17:23,689
Yes, it does, Tariq. But I must ask...
467
00:17:23,828 --> 00:17:26,998
will the child's mother ever
be dropping off and picking up?
468
00:17:26,998 --> 00:17:29,709
No, no, no, no.
She works crazy hours, you know?
469
00:17:29,709 --> 00:17:31,044
Somebody gotta pay the bills.
470
00:17:31,044 --> 00:17:32,545
I barely ever see her.
471
00:17:32,545 --> 00:17:34,172
So you'll be here...
472
00:17:34,172 --> 00:17:36,049
Yeah, twice a day
for the rest of the year,
473
00:17:36,049 --> 00:17:38,885
or until, you know, I find a job
or meet somebody else.
474
00:17:38,885 --> 00:17:41,345
So I'll be seeing you every day.
475
00:17:41,345 --> 00:17:43,014
Why, you don't think
I could meet somebody else?
476
00:17:43,014 --> 00:17:45,683
You don't get to choose the parents
477
00:17:45,683 --> 00:17:48,353
or stepparents of the children
that you teach.
478
00:17:48,353 --> 00:17:50,646
But they say it takes a village...
479
00:17:50,646 --> 00:17:54,233
and sometimes, there's a Tariq
in your village.
480
00:17:56,361 --> 00:17:57,820
- Yo.
- Hey.
481
00:17:59,781 --> 00:18:02,075
You still hitting that brick wall?
482
00:18:02,075 --> 00:18:04,285
Yeah.
483
00:18:04,285 --> 00:18:05,953
Yeah...
484
00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:08,456
Last year, a mom wrote me
a letter asking
485
00:18:08,456 --> 00:18:12,210
if we could get a crossing guard
at 52nd and Lancaster.
486
00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:14,045
I know that intersection.
487
00:18:14,045 --> 00:18:16,506
Oh, my ex got hit there like four times.
488
00:18:16,506 --> 00:18:18,383
- You see? He knows it's dangerous.
- Yeah.
489
00:18:18,383 --> 00:18:21,219
So after I read that letter...
490
00:18:21,219 --> 00:18:23,513
I went through every proper channel,
491
00:18:23,513 --> 00:18:26,599
and I just kept coming up empty.
492
00:18:26,599 --> 00:18:28,267
But remember that we brought you here
493
00:18:28,267 --> 00:18:31,187
because of your creative
problem-solving skills.
494
00:18:31,187 --> 00:18:34,357
The district never asks
how you did something,
495
00:18:34,357 --> 00:18:36,609
and look...
496
00:18:36,609 --> 00:18:38,361
you just gotta get it done.
497
00:18:42,198 --> 00:18:43,741
It's worth it.
498
00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:51,582
I'm guessing you're going to be late?
499
00:18:51,582 --> 00:18:54,919
Yes, but I also need to ask you
something off the record.
500
00:18:54,919 --> 00:18:57,046
Is this about you being
Ava's mole at the district?
501
00:18:57,046 --> 00:18:58,923
I am not Ava's mole!
502
00:18:58,923 --> 00:19:00,425
Way to keep your cover, girl.
503
00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:02,593
I need you to send me
the contact information
504
00:19:02,593 --> 00:19:04,011
for Imani's parents.
505
00:19:06,264 --> 00:19:08,266
Your door's open?
506
00:19:08,266 --> 00:19:09,528
Yes.
507
00:19:09,553 --> 00:19:12,598
And if you still wanna
hang out in here, you can.
508
00:19:12,623 --> 00:19:14,458
But we're gonna do it with boundaries.
509
00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:16,235
Number one...
I don't wanna hear anything
510
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:18,626
about your relationships
or the word "females".
511
00:19:18,651 --> 00:19:20,611
Deal. Your advice sucked.
512
00:19:20,611 --> 00:19:21,669
Fair enough.
513
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,422
Also, we're not just gonna
sit around here and do nothing.
514
00:19:23,447 --> 00:19:24,449
We're gonna be productive.
515
00:19:24,449 --> 00:19:26,159
Can we still fart, though?
516
00:19:26,159 --> 00:19:27,493
If you must.
517
00:19:27,493 --> 00:19:29,412
Good, 'cause I just did.
518
00:19:32,331 --> 00:19:35,209
Sometimes big places
519
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:38,421
make it hard to get small things done.
520
00:19:38,421 --> 00:19:42,175
So to find the answer,
I had to get out of my office,
521
00:19:42,175 --> 00:19:45,469
stop filling out paperwork,
and go out on my own.
522
00:19:45,469 --> 00:19:49,140
I thought about how much the
district hates bad publicity,
523
00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:51,684
and somehow word got to Imani's parents
524
00:19:51,684 --> 00:19:54,896
that if they gently threatened
to go to a reporter
525
00:19:54,896 --> 00:19:56,645
who has a bone to pick
with the district,
526
00:19:56,670 --> 00:19:58,082
we might see speedier results.
527
00:19:58,107 --> 00:19:59,183
And voilà.
528
00:19:59,208 --> 00:20:03,237
All of a sudden, Imani has a
qualified ASL interpreter at Abbott.
529
00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:05,698
It's that last bit of effort
530
00:20:05,698 --> 00:20:09,493
that no one expects
that tends to mean the most.
531
00:20:09,493 --> 00:20:12,163
We don't get paid to care...
but we do it anyway.
532
00:20:12,163 --> 00:20:14,624
So the female stigma collects pollen.
533
00:20:14,624 --> 00:20:15,708
You said "females".
534
00:20:17,627 --> 00:20:21,339
We do it for our co-workers,
our friends...
535
00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:23,591
and we do it for the kids.
536
00:20:23,591 --> 00:20:26,052
We do it for ourselves, too, I guess,
537
00:20:26,052 --> 00:20:30,181
because much like Liam Neeson
in "Taken" 1, 2, and 3,
538
00:20:30,181 --> 00:20:32,600
we kinda can't help it.
539
00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:37,551
Still haven't seen any of them,
by the way.
540
00:20:39,106 --> 00:20:42,527
Hey. Uh, could I get a word
with you, Your Honor?
541
00:20:42,527 --> 00:20:44,028
You may approach the bench.
542
00:20:44,028 --> 00:20:45,446
Okay, so, you know,
543
00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:47,281
with my firstborn son
coming here and everything,
544
00:20:47,281 --> 00:20:48,991
I think it's a good time
for me to step up,
545
00:20:48,991 --> 00:20:50,826
and, you know, start a PTA.
546
00:20:50,826 --> 00:20:52,870
You, Tariq, want to start
a Parent Teacher Association?
547
00:20:52,870 --> 00:20:54,121
No, no, no, no.
548
00:20:54,121 --> 00:20:56,249
Uh, a Parent Tariq Alliance, actually.
549
00:20:56,249 --> 00:20:57,667
But what you said sounds good.
550
00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:59,550
We should just call it that
and get people in the...
551
00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:02,046
Oh, damn. Here go my childless ex.
552
00:21:02,046 --> 00:21:04,090
Janine, don't be trying to spin
the block on me today, okay?
553
00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:05,331
I got a family now.
554
00:21:05,356 --> 00:21:06,551
I am here for work.
555
00:21:06,551 --> 00:21:08,678
Yeah, more like working her way
back into your life.
556
00:21:08,678 --> 00:21:10,304
Exactly, period.
557
00:21:10,304 --> 00:21:12,431
So, uh, with me being
a new father and everything,
558
00:21:12,431 --> 00:21:14,965
I was thinking, what if I start a PTA?
559
00:21:14,990 --> 00:21:18,410
No. Ava, the Parent Tariq
Alliance cannot happen, okay?
560
00:21:18,435 --> 00:21:19,622
- What...
- No.
561
00:21:19,647 --> 00:21:21,325
I see why you broke up with her.
562
00:21:21,350 --> 00:21:22,560
Not what happened.
563
00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:26,648
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