1
00:00:00,591 --> 00:00:02,187
Okay. Thank you, Melanie,
2
00:00:02,212 --> 00:00:05,230
for showing us the inside
of your eyelids again.
3
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,715
Okay. Khalil, come on. You're up.
4
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,601
What you got?
5
00:00:08,626 --> 00:00:12,505
For Show-and-Tell, I brought
a famous person I saw outside.
6
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:13,698
Come on in.
7
00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:16,058
- Hi, I'm Bradley Cooper.
- What?
8
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:19,420
Y-You are Bradley Cooper.
Why are you Bradley Cooper?
9
00:00:19,445 --> 00:00:20,843
And why are you here?
10
00:00:20,868 --> 00:00:22,372
Uh, well, whenever I'm in Philly,
11
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,976
you know the deli across the street?
12
00:00:24,001 --> 00:00:26,234
Uh, that's my first stop. My dad
used to always take me there.
13
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,527
They have the best hoagies in the city.
14
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:28,562
[CHUCKLES]
15
00:00:28,587 --> 00:00:30,589
Everybody wanted to take
a picture with him,
16
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,406
- so I figured he was famous.
- Yeah, you bet he is.
17
00:00:33,431 --> 00:00:34,875
I'm just texting the
other teachers, not paps.
18
00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:35,943
That's okay.
19
00:00:35,968 --> 00:00:38,247
Anyway, so when my friend here
asked me to come by,
20
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,812
I had a minute,
so I thought, "What the heck?"
21
00:00:39,837 --> 00:00:42,089
If you're famous,
are you in "Spider-Man"?
22
00:00:42,114 --> 00:00:43,407
I'm not in "Spider-Man,"
23
00:00:43,432 --> 00:00:45,350
but I am in "Guardians of the Galaxy."
24
00:00:45,375 --> 00:00:46,835
No, you're not!
25
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,465
[AS ROCKET] Are you frickin' kiddin' me?
26
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,008
I'm the voice of Rocket Raccoon!
27
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,765
[LAUGHTER]
28
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,625
And the face of "Alias."
29
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,431
- Not the face of.
- Yeah, you were the face.
30
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,058
A-And "He's Just Not That Into You."
31
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,007
Well, Janine, that was rude.
32
00:01:00,032 --> 00:01:02,076
No, I-I mean
"He's Just Not That Into You"
33
00:01:02,101 --> 00:01:03,852
is my favorite Bradley Cooper film.
34
00:01:03,877 --> 00:01:05,165
It's more of an ensemble,
35
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,609
but if you think about it,
it's Justin Long's movie.
36
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,594
[CHUCKLES] You crazy, Bradley.
37
00:01:09,619 --> 00:01:12,664
Oh, I've been a Cooper Trooper
since "Wet Hot American Summer."
38
00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:14,441
Well, you look different in person.
39
00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:15,801
You don't look famous.
40
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,661
Yeah. Shouldn't your teeth be whiter?
41
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,031
They should,
42
00:01:19,056 --> 00:01:21,498
but I can't whiten them
because they're too sensitive.
43
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,792
- Oh.
- I just loved you in "The Holdovers."
44
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,628
It was just so heartwarming.
45
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,338
It's "The Hangover," and, no, it's not.
46
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,382
Guys, he's literally
in a critically acclaimed film
47
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,009
- right now.
- "Oppenheimer."
48
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,539
- Is that the one about Napoleon?
- Yes.
49
00:01:33,564 --> 00:01:35,210
I don't think so. I'm
not in "Oppenheimer."
50
00:01:35,235 --> 00:01:37,614
Are you sure? Everybody
was in "Oppenheimer."
51
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,765
Yeah.
52
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,993
Why are there cameras here?
53
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,890
It's a long story, Brad. Bradley.
54
00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:44,584
Um, but, hey, since we have you...
55
00:01:44,609 --> 00:01:47,541
Okay, I-I do you have to
get that hoagie, so, um...
56
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,235
but this... this was so much
fun, and does Khalil get an "A"?
57
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,625
Oh, hell yeah, he does.
58
00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:53,422
Um, can you stay and take
just one picture before you go?
59
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,948
- Yeah, of course.
- Okay. Thank you.
60
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,492
- Let's do it. Ooh!
- Get in, get in, get in.
61
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,411
Hey. This is so exciting.
62
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:01,455
I can't wait to tell
everyone at the district.
63
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,914
- Oh, you work at the school district?
- Yeah.
64
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,781
Oh, you know that these schools
are criminally underfunded?
65
00:02:04,806 --> 00:02:05,869
It's proven every...
66
00:02:05,894 --> 00:02:06,977
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm working on it.
67
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,545
- Let's just take the picture.
- Okay.
68
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,595
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
69
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,789
[MAKER'S "HOLD'EM" PLAYING]
70
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:16,915
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
71
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:23,409
JACOB: Look, guys, I don't know.
72
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:26,019
She just said she's "dropping
by with a special surprise."
73
00:02:26,044 --> 00:02:27,838
Wait, who's coming? Janine?
74
00:02:27,863 --> 00:02:29,207
It's not too late to leave, y'all.
75
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,318
She can't annoy us if
we're not here. [CHUCKLES]
76
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,571
Hello! Hi, everyone! Sorry we're late.
77
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:38,055
But do notice that we are a we,
which is exciting.
78
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,510
Please meet Joan from the city.
79
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,454
And you'll remember Elizabeth Washington
80
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,149
from the Education Board.
81
00:02:44,196 --> 00:02:46,179
Okay, what's up?
'Cause last time she was here,
82
00:02:46,204 --> 00:02:48,977
I had to eulogize Gregory at
the Educator of the Year thing.
83
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,296
There's my star.
84
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,882
Hey, you never sent me
thank you flowers. [LAUGHS]
85
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,212
This is my nightmare.
86
00:02:55,237 --> 00:02:57,444
Literally, she's
my sleep paralysis demon.
87
00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:00,639
Abbott Elementary
is set to be designated
88
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:04,891
as a historical landmark
in the city of Philadelphia.
89
00:03:04,916 --> 00:03:06,798
We're gonna be a historical place?
90
00:03:06,823 --> 00:03:08,491
Cha-ching! [LAUGHS]
91
00:03:08,516 --> 00:03:09,516
What?
92
00:03:09,541 --> 00:03:12,337
It comes with a discretionary
fund for structural upkeep.
93
00:03:12,362 --> 00:03:15,779
Yeah, that's true. My great aunt's
pastrami shop got designated
94
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,845
'cause Dick Clark looked
through the window once.
95
00:03:17,870 --> 00:03:20,337
We've always known
how special Abbott is,
96
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,577
but now we're historic.
97
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,813
Like the "Rocky" stairs.
98
00:03:23,838 --> 00:03:26,549
Not quite, as Rocky
is a fictional character.
99
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:27,950
How about we throw you
down those stairs,
100
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,476
and you can see how fictional
they feel?!
101
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,461
I think she just means like
the home of Betsy Ross.
102
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,587
Right? Okay.
103
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:33,905
Oh, my God, guys,
104
00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:36,016
we're probably going to be
a part of walking tours.
105
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,751
Oh, my gosh. Who's gonna give the tour?
106
00:03:37,776 --> 00:03:39,236
- Uh, okay. I'll do it.
- BARBARA: Okay.
107
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,722
Abbott is certainly old, but historic?
108
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,142
Willard R. Abbott himself
109
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:49,229
used this very building
as a bomb shelter.
110
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,856
It actually turned out
to be a false alarm.
111
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,607
Nevertheless,
112
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:56,111
a great man cowered
on this hallowed ground.
113
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,863
- That's right.
- We're gonna be famous.
114
00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:00,134
Aah! This is so cool.
115
00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:03,829
Working at the district,
we treat every school as equal.
116
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,829
But I always knew
Abbott was exceptional.
117
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,330
And now the city agrees.
118
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,583
Eat it, all other schools
in the district!
119
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,710
[CHUCKLES]
120
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,253
You'll cut that part out, right?
121
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,188
Attention Abbott Elementarians...
122
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,131
it's your captain,
Principal Coleman, speaking.
123
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,866
If you're learning, stop.
124
00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:21,016
Abbott Elementary,
the school that I raised,
125
00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:23,587
is becoming a Philly
historical landmark.
126
00:04:23,612 --> 00:04:25,864
There will be a plaque ceremony
honoring our school's
127
00:04:25,889 --> 00:04:27,933
namesake, Willard R. Abbott.
128
00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:29,745
And if that sounds old and dusty to you,
129
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,649
the district is also
throwing a pre-party
130
00:04:31,674 --> 00:04:33,175
for us and the neighborhood.
131
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,869
We're partying on the district's tab.
132
00:04:34,894 --> 00:04:36,645
Oh, and there will be pizza.
133
00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:38,672
[ALL CHEERING]
134
00:04:38,697 --> 00:04:40,616
You're welcome.
135
00:04:40,641 --> 00:04:42,601
Just imagine how
many people are gonna be posing
136
00:04:42,626 --> 00:04:44,251
with peace signs out by the plaque.
137
00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:46,778
Oh, no. People do
finger hearts now. Like that.
138
00:04:46,803 --> 00:04:48,889
I have to admit, this is impressive.
139
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,223
I already feel more distinguished.
140
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,917
You can't even spell "distinguished."
141
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,835
[LAUGHS]
142
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,671
[CLEARS THROAT] Barbara, Melissa.
143
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,882
That was your, uh,
"This is amazing look," huh?
144
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,050
Right?
145
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,927
I'm so happy you're happy.
146
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:02,954
But?
147
00:05:02,979 --> 00:05:04,189
- No but.
- There's a but.
148
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,626
I can feel a but.
149
00:05:05,651 --> 00:05:07,319
Damn. You freaky.
150
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,767
[DOOR OPENS]
151
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,560
- But...
- I knew it.
152
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,271
Janine, this is just local politics.
153
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,232
It's got nothing to do with our school.
154
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:16,626
MELISSA: Yeah. Plus this is Philly.
155
00:05:16,651 --> 00:05:18,820
I mean, you can't hock a loogie
without hitting
156
00:05:18,845 --> 00:05:20,399
something historic around here.
157
00:05:20,424 --> 00:05:22,204
Oh, my God, please.
158
00:05:22,229 --> 00:05:25,190
Just one parade without Barbara
clouds and Melissa meatballs.
159
00:05:25,215 --> 00:05:27,175
[SCOFFS] You wish
it rained my meatballs.
160
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,786
And let me remind you, you asked.
161
00:05:29,811 --> 00:05:31,515
Uh, yes, but that was before
162
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,181
when I thought I would like to answer.
163
00:05:33,206 --> 00:05:34,958
No one is saying
that meaningless accolades
164
00:05:34,983 --> 00:05:37,337
can't be a win-win, but...
165
00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:40,406
- No, it's more like a don't care...
- ... don't care.
166
00:05:41,453 --> 00:05:42,954
Like I said,
167
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:47,430
I am so happy you are happy.
168
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,933
Yeah, we're ecstatic. For you.
169
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,059
Okay, well, that's good,
170
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,311
because it is objectively cool
171
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,981
that Abbott won't be able
to be overlooked anymore.
172
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,938
You know? We're finally getting
the recognition we deserve.
173
00:05:58,963 --> 00:06:00,877
You can't even spell "deserve."
174
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,274
[LAUGHS]
175
00:06:02,299 --> 00:06:03,755
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] There you go.
176
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,532
- Ooh!
- Hey.
177
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,563
- "I 'heart' Willard R. Abbott" cupcakes!
- You know it.
178
00:06:07,588 --> 00:06:09,757
To match my "I 'heart'
Willard R. Abbott" shirt.
179
00:06:09,782 --> 00:06:11,158
- I love that.
- GREGORY: You know, I really admire
180
00:06:11,183 --> 00:06:12,309
the commitment to the middle initial,
181
00:06:12,334 --> 00:06:13,759
but does anyone know
what the "R" stands for?
182
00:06:13,784 --> 00:06:15,160
Uh, maybe Rashid?
183
00:06:15,185 --> 00:06:17,048
No. Probably... Probably Robert.
184
00:06:17,073 --> 00:06:21,119
Hello, Abbott Elementary and community!
185
00:06:21,144 --> 00:06:23,230
My name is Elizabeth Washington,
186
00:06:23,255 --> 00:06:25,799
and I am the Chief Education Officer.
187
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,680
I want to thank you all
so much for joining us
188
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,764
at this press opp...
189
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,433
[CLEARS THROAT] party.
190
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,704
Party.
191
00:06:32,729 --> 00:06:34,898
And I want to welcome my mentee
192
00:06:34,923 --> 00:06:37,551
and Abbott's own Janine Teagues
193
00:06:37,576 --> 00:06:40,579
to the stage for opening remarks.
194
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,777
[APPLAUSE]
195
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,575
Um, thank you. Thank you, Elizab...
196
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,161
Thank you, Elizabeth,
and thank you, everyone,
197
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,580
for joining us in this celebration.
198
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,875
We have always known how
special Abbott Elementary is,
199
00:06:56,875 --> 00:07:01,477
but we are grateful that what we
know will now be set in stone.
200
00:07:01,502 --> 00:07:03,462
That's a plaque pun. [SNORTS]
201
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,966
Thank you, Joan.
202
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,510
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
203
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,306
And, finally, I'm gonna give
a posthumous thank you
204
00:07:10,331 --> 00:07:13,876
to Abbott Elementary's namesake,
Willard R. Abbott,
205
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,395
who famously crawled these very halls
206
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,648
in a historical manner.
207
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,316
Thank you. We love you, Willard!
208
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:22,651
ELIZABETH: Hey! Yes!
209
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,403
Hey. H-Hey, Willard R. Abbott
was a racist.
210
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,946
[SPECTATORS GASP]
211
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:30,283
- Oh, my.
- Okay. So, we can't just shout things out
212
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,285
- because it's fun to shout.
- It's true!
213
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,620
Know your history!
214
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,622
Okay. That's... Easy.
215
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,875
I want everybody to just
calm down and take a breath...
216
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,284
Well, now we know
what the "R" stands for.
217
00:07:40,308 --> 00:07:41,584
... and then welcome, uh,
218
00:07:41,609 --> 00:07:43,910
dialoguing and different poin...
219
00:07:44,516 --> 00:07:48,230
And when you say racist,
you mean like racist racist?
220
00:07:48,255 --> 00:07:50,799
One racist is racist enough,
don't you think?
221
00:07:50,824 --> 00:07:53,531
I'm sorry. B.L.A.C.K.S.?
What does that even stand for?
222
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,726
Building Love And
Creating Kids Safety, obviously.
223
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,520
And don't be trying to change
the subject.
224
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,689
Now, Willard R. Abbott
was a city planner
225
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,316
and his city plan was
to uphold segregation
226
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,360
while red lining all of Philadelphia.
227
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,362
Oh, my God. How did I not know that?
228
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,566
Am I bad at history?
229
00:08:08,591 --> 00:08:11,427
They have all kind of methods
for rewriting legacies.
230
00:08:11,452 --> 00:08:13,704
You know, like getting
schools named after themselves.
231
00:08:13,729 --> 00:08:15,428
I guess we shouldn't be surprised
232
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,035
that a white man of that era was racist.
233
00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:20,371
And so none of you thought to,
like, background-check this guy?
234
00:08:20,396 --> 00:08:21,840
Are you even from Philadelphia?
235
00:08:21,865 --> 00:08:23,534
Yeah, I mean, Joan,
did you know about this?
236
00:08:23,559 --> 00:08:25,769
Oh, yes, absolutely.
237
00:08:25,794 --> 00:08:27,207
JANINE: Guess that tracks.
238
00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:29,816
There are a lot of landmarks
in this city honoring bad men.
239
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:32,093
And women. No, wait. No.
240
00:08:32,118 --> 00:08:33,879
Ever been on Columbus Boulevard?
241
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,240
Literal state of "Penn" -sylvania.
242
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,934
Franklin Bridge, Franklin Court,
Franklin Institute.
243
00:08:38,959 --> 00:08:40,453
My uncle Franklin.
244
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,965
A lot of eggs in that Franklin basket.
245
00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:43,665
This is the nature of history.
246
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,024
It's not all good.
247
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,484
I'm so mad...
248
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:47,504
at you!
249
00:08:47,529 --> 00:08:49,504
Damn, why did you have to bring this up?
250
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,972
Okay, w-what if we change
the school's name to...
251
00:08:51,997 --> 00:08:54,759
um... blanking on people
who aren't problematic.
252
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,652
"Doin' Just Fine" Elementary.
253
00:08:56,677 --> 00:08:59,847
We already have
100 school names and mascots
254
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,582
already in line for a makeover,
255
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:04,387
and the ones that are racist
without having to Google
256
00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:05,830
are priority.
257
00:09:05,855 --> 00:09:08,358
And you're looking at
at least three to five years.
258
00:09:08,383 --> 00:09:10,843
I'm sorry, Janine.
This is too messy. We're out.
259
00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:12,245
- No, wait.
- My clout!
260
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:13,688
Wait, uh, what if, uh... what if...
261
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,137
MELISSA: There's no "what if."
262
00:09:15,162 --> 00:09:17,623
A stupid designation
is not gonna change anything
263
00:09:17,648 --> 00:09:18,867
about this school.
264
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,519
BARBARA: We didn't have one yesterday.
We don't have one today.
265
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,354
But look on the bright side.
266
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,273
The kids got pizza!
267
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,535
Let's just leave it at that.
268
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:30,355
Guys, if we give up now,
we're named after a racist
269
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:32,424
and we don't have a plaque.
270
00:09:32,449 --> 00:09:34,701
Level with me, Liz. What can we do?
271
00:09:34,726 --> 00:09:37,479
Well, I mean, the plaque is
already made, so you're out of luck.
272
00:09:37,504 --> 00:09:41,890
Unless you can find another
Willard R. Abbott of note
273
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,058
and say that
the school is named after him.
274
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,226
- Janine can do that.
- I can do that.
275
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,544
Oh, wow.
276
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,097
Uh, so is it not clear I was joking?
277
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,551
- Oh, so racism's a laughing matter?
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:09:51,576 --> 00:09:54,949
- [SCOFFS] Of course not.
- Great.
279
00:09:54,974 --> 00:09:56,475
So if my minions can find
a better Abbott,
280
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,543
can we have the money?
281
00:09:57,568 --> 00:09:59,097
Because I've already mentally spent it
282
00:09:59,122 --> 00:10:00,363
on zip ties, beans, and birth control,
283
00:10:00,388 --> 00:10:01,932
and there's no returns
in the apocalypse.
284
00:10:01,957 --> 00:10:04,334
She means, does Abbott get
the recognition it deserves?
285
00:10:04,359 --> 00:10:06,660
I... [SIGHS] I guess so.
286
00:10:07,949 --> 00:10:09,484
Chop, chop! To the library!
287
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,621
Yeah.
288
00:10:12,334 --> 00:10:14,085
Go help her! Damn!
289
00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:16,410
What if she needs to reach
a book on the middle shelf?
290
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,789
Okay, well, there are definitely
more Willard R. Abbotts
291
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,957
than I expected.
292
00:10:23,982 --> 00:10:26,275
Oh, Abbott used to have an indoor pool.
293
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,769
Wait, no.
294
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,253
Apparently the basement flooded in '63
295
00:10:29,278 --> 00:10:31,406
and they just didn't drain it until '71.
296
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,473
Oh, God.
297
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:33,824
Oh. Wow.
298
00:10:33,849 --> 00:10:35,777
Look at this picture
from the district archives.
299
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,929
Hmm. I didn't know Abbott
had Black teachers back then.
300
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,389
I didn't know Philly did.
301
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,308
- Okay, trailblazing.
- Hold on.
302
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:44,586
Did Abbott have a real-life owl
as a mascot back in the '80s?
303
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,862
Keep reading.
304
00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:48,390
"World's most rabid owl
discovered in local school."
305
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,874
- Yeah, that makes sense now.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
306
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,025
- Oh!
- Ohh.
307
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,719
How does a book smell bad?
308
00:10:52,744 --> 00:10:56,239
I cannot wait to get my
librarian program off the ground.
309
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,866
Library program?
310
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,577
Yeah. Did I not tell you?
311
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,872
Sorry. I've been so busy.
312
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,874
Okay, team, I'm gonna go see
313
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,292
if I can rustle up anything in admin.
314
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,293
Alright.
315
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,253
JACOB: Look. Research? Absolutely.
316
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,797
But between us, Janine and Gregory...
317
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,418
[CHUCKLES]
318
00:11:14,443 --> 00:11:17,613
they're like a handsome moth
to a cutie-patootie flame.
319
00:11:17,638 --> 00:11:19,808
They've given: they will.
They've given: they won't.
320
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,835
Now they're giving:
two people that kissed
321
00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:24,738
but decided to just be friends
for some Godforsaken reason.
322
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,561
So, yeah.
323
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:29,397
Figured they should
have some time alone.
324
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,983
So...
325
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,026
how has it been at the district?
326
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,361
Oh, it's been great, actually.
327
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,905
Been learning a lot.
328
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,240
It's different, though. Clean.
329
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,826
- Isn't that a good thing?
- You know, you'd think,
330
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,704
but I just miss Abbott's ambience.
331
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,497
Our dirt has a certain...
332
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,582
"Janine" sais quoi.
333
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:51,044
[BOTH LAUGH]
334
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,588
So, your, uh... your library program...
335
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:54,589
Mm-hmm.
336
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:55,757
Will there be microfiche?
337
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,342
Of course not.
338
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,053
Never mind. That would be nuts, right?
339
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,055
Yes, Gregory, that would be nuts.
340
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,849
Yeah, I know. I know.
But that's amazing, though.
341
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,601
- Thanks.
- Look at you,
342
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,937
programming stuff and taking names.
343
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:12,023
You're absurd... and thank you.
344
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,480
- I'm absurd?
- Yes.
345
00:12:13,505 --> 00:12:15,460
You're the one with a pin
that's a game of tic-tac-toe.
346
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,445
- I like this.
- Yeah, I know you do.
347
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,863
Guys! Guys! I found something.
348
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:19,926
BOTH: What?
349
00:12:19,951 --> 00:12:22,495
Well, I found an idea, like, in my head.
350
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,202
Willy!
351
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,703
You can't just say Willy
all willy-nilly.
352
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,004
- What is...?
- Short for Willard.
353
00:12:28,029 --> 00:12:29,572
Okay. We searched for Willard R. Abbott
354
00:12:29,597 --> 00:12:33,184
and Bill Abbott,
but we didn't search for Willy.
355
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,172
Willy is insane, but okay.
356
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:42,220
Oh, my God, Willy Abbott,
AKA Willard R. Abbott V.
357
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,596
He's a direct descendant.
358
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,724
Environmental philanthropist.
Seems promising.
359
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,059
He funds environmental research
360
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,686
and he works to combat misinformation.
361
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,729
He's... He's... He's basically a hero!
362
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:52,939
Okay. Alright, keep looking.
363
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,565
Let's make sure that he's squeaky clean.
364
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,651
- He wrote a Medium article...
- Oh, no.
365
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,043
Denouncing the racist views
366
00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,820
of his great-great-grandfather
and namesake,
367
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,121
- Willard R. Abbott!
- Hot damn!
368
00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:04,262
He has a contact form on his website.
369
00:13:04,287 --> 00:13:06,539
- Let's free Willy.
- Let's just e-mail him, yeah?
370
00:13:06,564 --> 00:13:07,637
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
371
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:11,916
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
372
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,376
So, what are we thinking racism-wise?
373
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,794
I can't tell by his outfit.
374
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,543
[CHUCKLES] Good find. He's a charmer.
375
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:18,986
Thank you guys so much for coming back
376
00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:20,254
and giving us another shot.
377
00:13:20,279 --> 00:13:21,799
Well, the plaque was
very expensive, yeah.
378
00:13:21,823 --> 00:13:24,429
Yep. But, um, seems
legit. We vetted him.
379
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,014
[MELISSA SCOFFS]
380
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:29,434
At the district, "vet" means
checked for a pulse.
381
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:32,145
You know, another pass wouldn't hurt.
382
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,022
Especially with his demographic.
383
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,149
Ask him if he thinks
the moon is a spaceship.
384
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,358
You know what? I'll handle this.
385
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:40,988
- Oh.
- Hey, Willy, how you doing?
386
00:13:41,013 --> 00:13:43,140
So, I wanted to ask
you a couple of questions.
387
00:13:43,165 --> 00:13:45,668
Man, you guys sure are thorough, huh?
388
00:13:45,693 --> 00:13:48,028
Alright. Fill in the blank.
"Women are..."
389
00:13:48,053 --> 00:13:50,306
- Great leaders.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
390
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,914
Thoughts on birds?
391
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,667
Real. And majestic.
392
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,294
Also, go Birds!
393
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,769
- Lifetime season ticket order.
- Yeah. Okay.
394
00:13:57,794 --> 00:13:58,896
Where were you on January 6th?!
395
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,089
- Hey!
- Have some decorum.
396
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,258
- Oh, my God.
- MELISSA: I got this.
397
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,801
Well?
398
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,845
In a coma actually.
399
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,355
'Cause you fell off a wall?
400
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,383
Medically induced.
Tricky wisdom tooth situation.
401
00:14:10,408 --> 00:14:11,910
[CHUCKLES] That is great.
402
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,828
- Okay, let's get you up on stage.
- Great.
403
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,035
Alright.
404
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:18,660
It is time to introduce our guest...
405
00:14:20,102 --> 00:14:23,816
good guy philanthropist
and the name on this plaque,
406
00:14:23,841 --> 00:14:26,927
Willard R. Abbott V. [APPLAUSE]
407
00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:29,177
Thank you. Thank you, Principal Coleman.
408
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,411
And you can call me Willy.
409
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,163
Willard's actually better for us.
410
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:35,666
A school as wonderful as this
411
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,543
shouldn't be named after a man
like my great-great-grandfather.
412
00:14:38,568 --> 00:14:40,988
I've spent my life and career
413
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,431
using family money to try
414
00:14:42,456 --> 00:14:45,667
and fight environmental
prejudice and inequality,
415
00:14:45,692 --> 00:14:48,987
to right the wrongs of Abbott's past.
416
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,516
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
And I accept this honor...
417
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,643
with that pledge in mind.
418
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,937
The world is such a beautiful place,
419
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,755
and we want to keep it that way.
420
00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:01,241
This planet is
in desperate need of saving.
421
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:03,477
[APPLAUSE]
422
00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:06,301
And there is no place for racism
423
00:15:06,326 --> 00:15:09,997
from one edge of the Earth
all the way to the other.
424
00:15:10,022 --> 00:15:12,024
Now, I don't claim to know all,
425
00:15:12,049 --> 00:15:17,020
but I do know that this
flat Earth is our home for now.
426
00:15:17,045 --> 00:15:18,254
Excuse me, what?
427
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,378
Yeah. Alright. Let's, um...
428
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,044
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let him cook.
429
00:15:22,069 --> 00:15:25,983
The gravity of this situation
is undeniable,
430
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,426
even though gravity itself isn't real.
431
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,997
Okay. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
[SPECTATORS MURMURING]
432
00:15:30,022 --> 00:15:31,982
This is all Janine's fault.
433
00:15:32,007 --> 00:15:33,550
The Earth is flat?
434
00:15:33,575 --> 00:15:35,494
- Yes.
- No, no, no. No. The Earth is a globe.
435
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:36,661
It is round, students.
436
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,239
Then explain maps.
437
00:15:38,264 --> 00:15:39,288
Okay, let's go.
438
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,339
Okay.
439
00:15:40,364 --> 00:15:41,607
- JANINE: No, wait, wait.
- No.
440
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,985
I'm sorry, Janine. We were never here.
441
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,028
And the moon is a spaceship!
442
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,823
- Okay.
- Told you. Real recognize real.
443
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:51,701
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
444
00:15:53,062 --> 00:15:55,189
You have fun?
445
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,206
Janine.
446
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,584
Don't gloat just yet, please.
447
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,502
I'm going to think of a way
to save this.
448
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,212
Just need to sulk for a second.
449
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,589
I'm not here to gloat.
450
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:05,756
Yeah, we already did that
451
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,466
a few minutes ago behind your back.
452
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:10,794
Janine, we usually understand
where it is you're coming from,
453
00:16:10,819 --> 00:16:14,239
even if we disagree, but
we're not really getting this.
454
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,934
Why are you so obsessed with a plaque?
455
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,564
I just love this school so much.
456
00:16:18,589 --> 00:16:21,259
Yes. That's your
defining characteristic.
457
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:24,400
I can't be here every day this year,
458
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,861
and so it's just made
it more clear, you know?
459
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,655
These kids, the people
in the community who went here,
460
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,075
we all know that this isn't
just some school.
461
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,410
It's special.
462
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,454
And I know it was just a plaque,
463
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,457
but... it was validation.
464
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,042
I really wanted that for us.
465
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,752
Well, tell me this.
466
00:16:42,777 --> 00:16:45,822
What makes Abbott special for you?
467
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:50,134
What we teach, what we learn...
468
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,736
the kids, teachers like you two.
469
00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:55,430
Exactly. A plaque can't convey that.
470
00:16:55,455 --> 00:16:59,001
Yeah. We don't have to prove
our worth to anybody out there.
471
00:16:59,026 --> 00:17:01,153
Plus, somebody would've
just stolen that plaque
472
00:17:01,178 --> 00:17:04,228
and melted it down
and made, like, the perfect,
473
00:17:04,253 --> 00:17:07,919
lightweight meat tenderizer
with just a... a swing...
474
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,737
like a dream.
475
00:17:11,342 --> 00:17:14,345
I-I guess I just thought it was
a chance to do something.
476
00:17:14,370 --> 00:17:17,874
What we do is we teach
these remarkable students
477
00:17:17,899 --> 00:17:21,361
the best we can with what we have.
478
00:17:21,386 --> 00:17:23,388
And that is what teachers have done here
479
00:17:23,413 --> 00:17:25,314
at Abbott since it opened.
480
00:17:25,339 --> 00:17:28,384
There you go.
Now that is special enough.
481
00:17:29,903 --> 00:17:31,071
Thanks, guys.
482
00:17:31,096 --> 00:17:34,015
I would love to sit
in this moment with you,
483
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,584
but I just thought of a plan
that will fix everything,
484
00:17:36,609 --> 00:17:39,362
ignoring your pleas
for me to let it rest.
485
00:17:39,387 --> 00:17:40,892
I love you. Bye.
486
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,248
Now, I'll tell you what he
should have been nominated for
487
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,524
was "Failure to Launch."
488
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:47,900
I thought that was McConaughey.
489
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,735
It's both of them. That's why...
490
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:50,822
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
491
00:17:50,847 --> 00:17:52,338
You know, you don't
have to run everywhere.
492
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,869
I wasn't running, but I am excited.
493
00:17:53,894 --> 00:17:55,229
Don't tell me there's a sixth Willard.
494
00:17:55,254 --> 00:17:56,380
No. Better.
495
00:17:56,405 --> 00:17:58,407
I'll tell you more when we get there.
496
00:17:58,432 --> 00:17:59,736
Ooh.
497
00:18:01,249 --> 00:18:03,167
I thought it was clear
we move in a pack.
498
00:18:03,192 --> 00:18:05,278
To the district archives we go!
499
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,922
Ooh!
500
00:18:12,437 --> 00:18:14,728
I don't know why I was waiting
for random people to tell us
501
00:18:14,753 --> 00:18:16,422
that Abbott is important.
502
00:18:16,447 --> 00:18:19,950
I'm Janine Teagues, damn
it. I don't wait for anything.
503
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:22,978
Except when it's polite.
That's just courtesy.
504
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:27,189
History happens every day,
even when it's overlooked,
505
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,151
especially when it's overlooked
506
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,446
and I overlooked some,
right in front of us.
507
00:18:36,255 --> 00:18:37,425
Okay.
508
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,869
Um, let me just... real quick.
509
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,204
Oh. Mm, yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm.
510
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:45,082
No news cameras, no blonde women.
511
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,917
What's with all
the pomp and circumstance?
512
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,544
[CLEARS THROAT]
513
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,880
Over a century and a half ago,
514
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,466
there were no Black teachers
in this city.
515
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,260
And in 1862, Banneker Colored School
516
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,888
hired Philadelphia's first Black teacher
517
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,473
in a public school.
518
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,088
He was a pioneer
named John Quincy Allen.
519
00:19:03,113 --> 00:19:06,574
Soon after, another school, our school,
520
00:19:06,599 --> 00:19:10,270
hired the first group
of Black teachers in the city.
521
00:19:10,295 --> 00:19:14,049
They had no idea what history
they were making at the time,
522
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,072
but that was for us to find out.
523
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,615
And now we know.
524
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:21,494
They came here every day
through unimaginable adversity
525
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,056
to teach remarkable students
526
00:19:23,081 --> 00:19:25,792
while doing the very best
with what they had.
527
00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:28,862
So we may not have a plaque,
but it's okay.
528
00:19:28,887 --> 00:19:30,556
We don't need one,
529
00:19:30,581 --> 00:19:32,916
because it's what's
on the inside that counts.
530
00:19:32,941 --> 00:19:34,901
And what's on the inside is us,
531
00:19:34,926 --> 00:19:37,596
and there would be no us without them.
532
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:40,888
[APPLAUSE]
533
00:19:42,893 --> 00:19:44,645
- That was great, Janine.
- Thank you.
534
00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:46,588
Yeah, that was really something, hon.
535
00:19:46,613 --> 00:19:49,450
Yeah, it's a cute picture,
536
00:19:49,475 --> 00:19:51,665
but it'd be cuter with some cash on top.
537
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,151
Here is 10 bucks, Ava.
Are you happy now?
538
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,820
Yes.
539
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,113
Is that so wrong?
540
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,244
Which one do you think was the Jacob?
541
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,245
- None of them.
- None of them.
542
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,287
Yeah.
543
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,424
BOTH: Oh
544
00:20:06,449 --> 00:20:09,314
For the last time,
stop trying to take my job.
545
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:26,922
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