﻿1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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- Sheldon Cooper.
- What?

3
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I finished reading it.
My name's Sheldon Cooper.

4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,960
- What... You finished it?
- Yes.

5
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Impressive.

6
00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:17,460
Wha... You should major
in computer science.

7
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,170
No, thanks. I'll stick to real science.

8
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,620
Excuse me, but you're not Evan.

9
00:00:32,650 --> 00:00:33,810
True.

10
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- Where's Evan?
- Elsewhere.

11
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- So you don't know?
- True.

12
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Oh, good. You met Joaquin.

13
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Proper introductions were not made.

14
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What's he doing here?

15
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Uh, he's helping me write an algorithm

16
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so, uh, we can beat the stock market.

17
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Why?

18
00:00:48,690 --> 00:00:52,790
Uh, well, so we can get rich,
buy cool cars and get girls.

19
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But mostly the girls.

20
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Isn't the search for knowledge
its own reward?

21
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Uh, yeah, sure, if the knowledge
helps you get girls.

22
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That seems like a lot
of unnecessary effort

23
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just to meet females.

24
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Yeah, we've tried talking to them.

25
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Actual disaster.

26
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You want to help us?

27
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I don't need to meet girls.

28
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In fact, I'd like to know
fewer people, not more.

29
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You could use the money to
buy yourself something fun.

30
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Ooh, like a particle accelerator

31
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or 100 tanks of liquid nitrogen.

32
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I was thinking of a hot tub, but okay.

33
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I can't get you to take a shower,

34
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and-and you want a hot tub?

35
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Girls like hot tubs.

36
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How much would it cost to
build a particle accelerator?

37
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Conservatively, four
to ten billion dollars.

38
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Then you need to help us.

39
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Hmm. Well, I haven't done much coding,

40
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but I am good at everything.

41
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Okay, I'm in charge.

42
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Scoot.

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- Synced & corrected by<font color="#E83286"> MementMori </font>-
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.addic7ed.com</font> --

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- What are you watching?
- Travis Lemon.

45
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The crazy church guy?

46
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He's not crazy.

47
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Well, his hair is.

48
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Well, I got news for y'all.

49
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Jesus wants you to prosper.

50
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He wants you to have nice
things, a life of abundance.

51
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Says so right here in the book.

52
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"My God shall supply all your
needs according to His riches

53
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in glory by Jesus Christ."

54
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He's right. It does say that.

55
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When's it's over? I want to watch MTV.

56
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Reverend Travis has a band.

57
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They rock pretty hard.

58
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The same is true for you.

59
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Jesus fed 5,000 people
with five loaves of bread,

60
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but somebody had to
give him those loaves.

61
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And that's what I need from you.

62
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Every dollar you donate to
the Travis Lemon ministry

63
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will be returned to you tenfold!

64
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Tenfold, my sweet patootie.

65
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As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

66
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Daphne, get the address on the screen?

67
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_

68
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So you get the checkbook out,

69
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and you show how much you love the Lord,

70
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and the Lord will love you back.

71
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And when your neighbor asks you,

72
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"Where'd you get that new Cadillac?"

73
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you tell 'em, "On the corner
of Heaven and Saved."

74
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Oh, what the heck.

75
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All right, Steve-arooni, let's hit it!

76
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- Hey, Missy.
- Hey. What are you doing?

77
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Just breaking in my
new shoes for school.

78
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They're brown.

79
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Cool. Can I watch your TV?

80
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Sure.

81
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That squeaking you're
hearing is my new shoes.

82
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♪ Getting edgy all the time... ♪

83
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Where's your mom at?

84
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She went to my Aunt
Sylvia's for a few days.

85
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Aunt Sylvia has a big lump on her neck.

86
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So you're alone?

87
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Just me and my chickens.

88
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Billy, we have to throw a party.

89
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For the chickens?

90
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- No! For us!
- Why?

91
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What do you mean "why"?
Your mom's not home.

92
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What would we do? Play games?

93
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Yeah, drinking games.

94
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Like when you paid me a dollar
to chug a gallon of milk?

95
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That was a different
game, and I'm sorry.

96
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Boy, did I throw up.

97
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For this party, I'm thinking beer.

98
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We're not old enough to drink beer.

99
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That's why kids'll come.

100
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Smart.

101
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Do you think they'll like eggs?

102
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I have so many eggs.

103
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What's that A-sub-one-variable?

104
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It's undefined.

105
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It's defined in the previous subroutine.

106
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Oh, my. That is elegant.

107
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We don't use the word "elegant."

108
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Why? What's wrong with it?

109
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Well, last semester,
I invited a girl to my room

110
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to look at my elegant coding,

111
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and... she called the police, so...

112
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Understood. So what happens next?

113
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Uh, we just buy the stocks
the algorithm suggests.

114
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- With what?
- Our student loan money.

115
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How much are you in for?

116
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Oh, my mother's always warned me

117
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against the evils of gambling.

118
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Well, it's not gambling, it-it's math.

119
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Is your mother against math?

120
00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:58,019
Well, when you use it to prove the
Earth wasn't made in seven days,

121
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she gets a little touchy.

122
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It's your call.

123
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Particle accelerator,
or no particle accelerator?

124
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Let me fetch my money sock.

125
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You keep your money in a sock?

126
00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:17,520
My meemaw keeps her money in her bra.

127
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Does she like hot tubs?

128
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,230
So how are you and Dale getting along?

129
00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:26,190
Well, I rode a bike seven miles

130
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to have coffee with you,
so that should tell you.

131
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Not going well?

132
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Oh, it's fine.

133
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It's just, after you've lived
by yourself for a long time,

134
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having a roommate takes
a little getting used to.

135
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I'm sure Dale's doing his best.

136
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That's my fear.

137
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Mare, what's this $50 to an "R.T.L.M."?

138
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,430
Reverend Travis Lemon Ministries.

139
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I made a donation.

140
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The goofy guy with the hair?

141
00:05:51,730 --> 00:05:53,220
He's not goofy,

142
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and he preaches the gospel
in a way that speaks to me.

143
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Yeah, well, let me speak to you.

144
00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,550
We can't be throwing away 50 bucks.

145
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We are not throwing it away.

146
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,330
We are gonna get that
money back plus some.

147
00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:05,600
Oh, honey, now, come on.

148
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,270
You can't possibly believe that B.S.

149
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,360
Maybe.

150
00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:12,480
Reverend Travis says that
Jesus wants us to prosper.

151
00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:13,829
Is that why he huffed and puffed

152
00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:15,150
and blew my house down?

153
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,100
- I'm cancelling this check.
- Don't you dare.

154
00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:18,910
Mary, this is groceries for a week.

155
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We will get it back.

156
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:21,850
We just need to have faith.

157
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:24,300
Will you talk some sense
into your daughter?

158
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:25,960
If I could talk sense into her,

159
00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:27,750
she would never have married you.

160
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,220
She had to marry me
because I got her pregnant.

161
00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:31,590
Ha!

162
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:33,760
Huh.

163
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:37,970
He ain't wrong about the money.

164
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,430
Thank you!

165
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,120
Well, gentlemen, we've
doubled our income

166
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in a little over eight hours.

167
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I'm gonna need a bigger sock.

168
00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:54,030
The good news is,
our algorithm is working,

169
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,080
and it's getting more
efficient with every trade.

170
00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:57,950
Which is why we have to stay strong.

171
00:06:57,990 --> 00:06:59,840
We can't expect to be
millionaires overnight.

172
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:03,550
It'll take... 12 to 14 business days.

173
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,840
It's actually gonna happen.

174
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,260
I'm gonna have sex.

175
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,700
- Where are you going?
- To take a shower.

176
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,130
Hey, can I talk to you?

177
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,930
Yeah. What's up?

178
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,270
Actually, in there.

179
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,840
You ain't pregnant, are you?

180
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:23,140
No. How could you say that?!

181
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:24,570
Been known to happen.

182
00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:29,783
Okay.

183
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:32,750
So, Billy's mom's away,
and we're throwing a party.

184
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,120
All right.

185
00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:36,620
Do you think if I took some
of Dad's beer, he'd notice?

186
00:07:36,670 --> 00:07:38,460
Do you think he'd notice?

187
00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:39,990
Okay, dumb question.

188
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,430
Anyways, you're too young.
You shouldn't be drinking.

189
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,130
You just asked if I was pregnant.

190
00:07:45,180 --> 00:07:46,700
Well, don't do either.

191
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:49,970
So you wouldn't buy us a case
of beer if I gave you the money?

192
00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:52,170
Missy, I'm not old enough to buy beer.

193
00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:53,840
That's never stopped you before.

194
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,550
And I'm ashamed of myself.

195
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,769
I'll tell you what I can do.

196
00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,260
I got something for a party

197
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,300
- that's better than beer.
- What?

198
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,740
Bottle rockets, Roman candles,

199
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,269
M80s, the works.

200
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:10,290
Oh, sure. Thanks.

201
00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:12,000
You're not excited now, but trust me,

202
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,860
you blow up one mailbox,
and you got yourself a party.

203
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,560
- Need a hand?
- Yeah, sure.

204
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:31,010
Hey, so, when you were my
age, did you go any parties?

205
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:32,840
Oh, yeah.

206
00:08:32,890 --> 00:08:36,510
The good ones I remember,
the great ones... gone.

207
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,090
That is so cool.

208
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,400
Ah, I was pretty cool.

209
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,180
You get invited to one?

210
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:44,890
- Kind of.
- Ooh, tell me.

211
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,390
I'm sort of helping my friend throw it.

212
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,600
First party. That's a big deal.

213
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:52,860
Any advice?

214
00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:57,330
Hmm. Well, for starters, music is key.

215
00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:58,860
You want it good, you want it loud,

216
00:08:58,890 --> 00:09:00,440
but not so loud the cops come.

217
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:02,770
Although, if they do, you're a legend.

218
00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:03,910
Damn.

219
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,690
And if you have make-out spots,

220
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:06,980
you want to keep 'em private,

221
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,060
but not too private.

222
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,510
You know, closets, pantries.

223
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:10,969
You want to keep your guests standing.

224
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:13,040
- Makes sense.
- Mm-hmm.

225
00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:17,920
And, um, I've heard at some of
these parties there's drinking?

226
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,380
Oh.

227
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:24,890
Well... yeah, sometimes,

228
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:30,080
but, uh, fun can be had without... it.

229
00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:33,740
Uh-huh, but just in case,

230
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:34,980
would you buy it for us?

231
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,560
- No.
- Why not?

232
00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:40,140
- Because you're a kid.
- You were a kid.

233
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,240
- Yeah, but it was different.
- How?

234
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,420
The point is, I'm a mom now.

235
00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:48,820
- A cool mom.
- Not that cool.

236
00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:50,450
Besides, the only underage person

237
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,190
that I'm gonna buy alcohol
for is the father of my child.

238
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,790
You really aren't cool.

239
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:01,710
Thanks for seeing me.

240
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,970
Of course, my door is always open.

241
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:07,170
- Smoke?
- I'm good. I'll just breathe in yours.

242
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:08,640
Suit yourself.

243
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,980
Could we have a little privacy?

244
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:17,100
I'll just be listening at the door.

245
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,320
She does.

246
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,620
So, what can we do for you?

247
00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:23,189
Well, I was thinking maybe it was time

248
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,780
for Mary to come back to the church.

249
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,530
You know, be a part of your herd again.

250
00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:27,820
We say flock.

251
00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:30,560
Although, Texas... herd works.

252
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,160
With all the beef and whatnot.

253
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,630
Well, Mary's always welcome.

254
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,180
Great.

255
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,670
Oh. Maybe you could use her
back here in the office.

256
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,210
Nah, we got things covered.

257
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:45,510
Do you need to answer that?

258
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:46,810
No, they'll call back.

259
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:48,310
Peg, please.

260
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,950
All right, bossy.

261
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:01,060
So, uh... what do you think?

262
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:02,990
Mary said she wants to come back?

263
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,780
Not in so many words.

264
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:05,980
But I know if you asked her,

265
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:07,790
it would just mean the world to me,

266
00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:10,170
to her, to us...

267
00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:11,500
To God.

268
00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:13,040
I'll pray on it.

269
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:14,340
Great.

270
00:11:17,590 --> 00:11:19,210
I'll pray on it later.

271
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,040
Right. Sure.

272
00:11:27,230 --> 00:11:28,890
Fascinating.

273
00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:32,860
Why aren't you doing what I tell you?

274
00:11:32,910 --> 00:11:34,400
We rich yet?

275
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:35,930
Yeah, we better be.

276
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:38,156
Evan went nuts. He got garlic sticks.

277
00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:40,330
Did either of you
authorize the algorithm

278
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:41,560
to make foreign trades?

279
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:43,662
- No.
- No.

280
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,070
Well, that's what it's doing.

281
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:47,950
We own 7,000 shares of
Chow Fat Enterprises

282
00:11:47,970 --> 00:11:49,450
on the Hong Kong exchange.

283
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:51,740
Fascinating.

284
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:52,990
That's what I said.

285
00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:57,010
It's trading on its own?

286
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:58,220
It would seem so.

287
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,720
Uh, we... need to stop it,
pull the plug.

288
00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:03,460
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Are we up or down?

289
00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:04,550
We're up.

290
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,090
Then what's the problem?

291
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:09,130
The problem is we've lost control.
This is Frankenstein's monster.

292
00:12:09,180 --> 00:12:10,760
You say that like it's a bad thing.

293
00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:12,030
What?

294
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,400
To reanimate life was an
incredible scientific achievement.

295
00:12:14,410 --> 00:12:16,970
The real bad guys in the story
are the ignorant villagers.

296
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:19,600
You were on the monster's side?

297
00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:21,340
Unfairly hounded for being different?

298
00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:22,920
- You betcha.
- Guys, guys, guys.

299
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,610
Chow Fat stock just split.

300
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,121
We have 14,000 shares.

301
00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:29,950
So, we created an algorithm
that's evolving by itself

302
00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:31,780
and becoming a new form of intelligence?

303
00:12:32,770 --> 00:12:34,520
And I, Sheldon Cooper,

304
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:36,490
wholeheartedly think it's terrific.

305
00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:38,633
It may be listening.

306
00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:44,460
How do we do this?

307
00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:45,950
We just got to wait for someone

308
00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,079
who's old enough to buy beer

309
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,770
but young enough to be cool.

310
00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:49,894
Got it.

311
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,830
- Try him.
- Excuse me, sir...

312
00:12:52,850 --> 00:12:54,260
Buy your own beer.

313
00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:55,317
Thank you.

314
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,890
I think he was onto us.

315
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:01,270
Let me try.

316
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,780
- Hey.
- Hey.

317
00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:07,080
Would you buy me beer?
I forgot my ID at home.

318
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:08,490
How old are you?

319
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:09,850
Um...

320
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:10,915
thirty.

321
00:13:12,510 --> 00:13:13,990
Twenty-five?

322
00:13:15,230 --> 00:13:16,330
This isn't working.

323
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,220
Maybe the party was a bad idea.

324
00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:20,250
Hey, mister,

325
00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:22,330
will you buy us some beer?

326
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:23,960
I'm not old enough.

327
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,110
Those guys thought I was a grown-up.

328
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,540
Billy!

329
00:13:30,590 --> 00:13:32,050
What?

330
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:34,310
- Here's your change.
- Thank you.

331
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,780
♪ I'm on my way to Italy ♪

332
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,350
♪ From the Gulf of Mexico... ♪

333
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,450
You can go now.

334
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,390
Thank you.

335
00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:49,270
Howdy, neighbor.

336
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,920
Pastor Jeff, how nice to see you.

337
00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:53,320
Am I interrupting anything?

338
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,720
No, no, come on in.

339
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,390
So, what brings you by?

340
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,060
Well, I've been thinking, uh,

341
00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:03,660
we really miss you over at the church

342
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:06,470
and maybe you might
consider coming back.

343
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,860
Well...

344
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:11,770
that's awful kind of you,
but I've joined a new church.

345
00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:13,810
Oh! The Methodists got you, didn't they?

346
00:14:13,860 --> 00:14:16,840
Oh, no. Reverend Travis Lemon.

347
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,350
Oh, not the fella with the hair.

348
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:22,250
Mary, he's a snake oil salesman,

349
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:25,080
taking people's money and
promising 'em all kinds of riches.

350
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,560
Well...

351
00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:32,560
Then how do you explain this
check I got from the IRS?

352
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,400
$800.

353
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:35,960
I sent Reverend Travis $50

354
00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:37,630
and that came the very next day.

355
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,030
Oh, come on.

356
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,870
It had to be in the mail
before you sent your money in.

357
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,200
Did it?

358
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,400
Of course.

359
00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:47,430
I'm as patriotic as the next guy,

360
00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:50,410
but our postal service flat-out sucks.

361
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,640
Excuse my French.

362
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:54,310
Well, we disagree.

363
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,640
Reverend Travis says that the
Lord wants me to be prosperous

364
00:14:57,670 --> 00:14:58,850
and I believe him.

365
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,290
This is nothing but a coincidence.

366
00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:02,660
You overpaid your taxes,

367
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:05,830
you got a refund, Jesus
has nothing to do with it.

368
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,350
You sound like Sheldon.

369
00:15:09,780 --> 00:15:11,660
I believe I know my way out.

370
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:12,970
Mm.

371
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:16,770
♪ Like me care for you? ♪

372
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:18,610
- ♪ Ah ♪
- ♪ Why do I bother... ♪

373
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,140
Help me move this, will you?

374
00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:22,510
- What are you doing?
- Making a dance floor.

375
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,560
- I'm a very good dancer.
- Really?

376
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,610
My mom says so. Watch.

377
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,620
♪ I saw the sign ♪

378
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,389
♪ And it opened up my eyes... ♪

379
00:15:30,390 --> 00:15:31,880
I'll get it.

380
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,090
♪ Life is demanding... ♪

381
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,060
- Sparks' residence.
- Hey, sweetie.

382
00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:38,630
- Oh. Hey, Mom.
- You okay there all by yourself?

383
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,800
I'm not by myself, Missy's here.

384
00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:43,200
W-wait, she's not here.

385
00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:44,560
Put her on.

386
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,770
Okay.

387
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,670
♪ But where do you belong? ♪

388
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,070
Hey, Mrs. Sparks.

389
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,270
What are y'all up to?

390
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:52,440
Just hanging out.

391
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:53,500
Cut the crap.

392
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,871
You throwing a party, ain't you?

393
00:15:54,890 --> 00:15:56,650
What? No.

394
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,680
Relax, I'm all for it.

395
00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:00,380
I want my son to have a life.

396
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:02,720
Wait, he's invited, right?

397
00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:04,680
'Course. We're just
making a dance floor.

398
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,790
Oh, God, Missy, do not let him dance.

399
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,960
♪ Bring me joy? ♪

400
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,860
♪ Under the pale moon. ♪

401
00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:13,960
Lord, I know everyone
thinks I'm being foolish

402
00:16:13,990 --> 00:16:15,600
giving money to Reverend Travis,

403
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:18,550
but why wouldn't you
want us to be prosperous?

404
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,870
You love us, it makes sense.

405
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,470
And I got that IRS check,
which feels like a sign.

406
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,210
And I think I know a
sign when I see one.

407
00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:29,364
Ugh. Oh!

408
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,410
Oh!

409
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:33,810
Ew!

410
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:34,980
What's going on?

411
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,980
A bird did its business in my eye.

412
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:39,150
Better than your mouth, right?

413
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,620
You think you're funny?!

414
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,410
Yeah.

415
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,490
We may have a problem.

416
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:45,660
Oh, what's wrong?

417
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,090
The program's running really
slow. We're losing money.

418
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,468
Well, what's happening?
It was fine this morning.

419
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:52,670
I don't know if this is related,

420
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,230
but I did add a new subroutine.

421
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:55,970
To do what?

422
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:57,300
To resolve the inconsistencies

423
00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:59,470
between general relativity
and quantum mechanics.

424
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,800
Why would you do that?

425
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:02,130
Because our algorithm's so smart

426
00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:04,064
and it's the biggest unanswered
question in the universe.

427
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,449
But it's messing with the computer.

428
00:17:05,450 --> 00:17:06,610
We're losing money.

429
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,680
What about my car? What about girls?

430
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,240
Rest assured, you solve
general relativity,

431
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,480
the girls will be lined up
around the block to kiss you.

432
00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:20,290
Someone's having a party
and we weren't invited.

433
00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:30,400
Gosh darn it.

434
00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:36,380
Stupid car.

435
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,960
Oh!

436
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,640
- Make it stop.
- I'm trying, it doesn't want to.

437
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:46,479
I think it finds the
question too interesting.

438
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,140
Ooh, but it's messing with the computer.

439
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,528
- We're losing everything.
- I don't know what else to do.

440
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,000
You could have just unplugged it.

441
00:18:00,050 --> 00:18:01,830
Or at least opened the window.

442
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:04,340
I showered for nothing.

443
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,350
You know, honey, nothing much you can do

444
00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:15,050
about a broken toe.

445
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,050
Unless you think Reverend
Travis can fix it.

446
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:18,720
Maybe I'll stick it up your butt.

447
00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:20,720
Mary Cooper. Language.

448
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:22,860
I'm going to bed.

449
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,590
Ah!

450
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:31,830
I'm in.

451
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,200
My bottom is scorched, don't look at it.

452
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,450
And as we're passing
the collection plate,

453
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,540
let's give a warm welcome to the Coopers

454
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:50,490
who are back in the fold.

455
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:53,490
Our donation room is looking a
little empty after the tornado.

456
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,590
So please bring in your canned goods,

457
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:56,800
your used clothing...

458
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:00,820
Is that beer?

459
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:01,933
Oh, my...

460
00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:05,470
Anyway, welcome back Coopers.

461
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,130
Please turn to page 37 in your hymnals.

462
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:11,191
- Synced & corrected by<font color="#E83286"> MementMori </font>-
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.addic7ed.com</font> --

