1 00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:15,558 - That's a long flight, man. - Long flight. Yeah. 2 00:00:15,642 --> 00:00:16,726 Brutal. 3 00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:19,854 Hey, Larry, I see you. Keep fighting for us. 4 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:23,524 Okay. Huh? How about that? 5 00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:26,152 My people showing you fucking love, Larry. 6 00:00:26,236 --> 00:00:27,445 Larry David. 7 00:00:27,946 --> 00:00:32,492 Oh my God, it's Larry David. Sorry, I'm Sienna Miller. 8 00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:36,037 I can't believe I'm seeing you. I've just been watching you on the news. 9 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,790 - How crazy is this, right? - It's crazy. 10 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:42,126 Well, thank you, on behalf of everybody who has a heart. 11 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,753 Hey, Larry, good job! 12 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:47,006 Anyway, I cannot believe that I've bumped into you. 13 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,217 It's bashert. 14 00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,720 - Where'd you get that from? - Pretty good, huh? 15 00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:54,055 Yeah, pretty good. 16 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:56,599 Bye, Larry. Keep in touch. 17 00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:05,400 Keep in touch? You saw that? 18 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,652 Sienna Miller, she was flirting with me, was she not? 19 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:08,861 Saw that shit. 20 00:01:08,945 --> 00:01:10,613 This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, 21 00:01:10,697 --> 00:01:12,824 but because of Irma, there's nothing I can do. 22 00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:15,410 It's such a waste, really. 23 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:17,120 Sienna Miller, my God. 24 00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:20,164 - How's that bagel? - Fucking great, man. 25 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,750 You know what? I'm not gonna eat this. 26 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,962 Think I'll give it to that guy. What do you think? 27 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,047 If it's in your heart, you do it. 28 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,799 Hey, you want a bagel? 29 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,343 Yeah. 30 00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:37,890 No, no, no, no, no! Stop, stop! 31 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:39,934 Thanks, man. 32 00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:52,113 - Fluke! - Oh my God. 33 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,490 What are you doing? What's the matter with you? 34 00:01:54,574 --> 00:01:58,411 - I got fluke in three. - Fluke? Who does that? 35 00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:01,330 It's so disrespectful. It's like sneezing in someone's face. 36 00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:04,292 - You just ruined our day. - I'm going to an AA meeting. 37 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,586 - This is crazy. - You would never have gotten it. 38 00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:08,337 - I would've got it. - I had to help you with vulva. 39 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,923 I know vulva. That's a great car. 40 00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:13,176 - No, it's not a car. - It's one of the safest cars. 41 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,094 You never would've gotten fluke. 42 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,805 - Hey, don't do that again. - You never would've gotten it. 43 00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:19,140 - I would've got it. - Get over it. 44 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:23,269 - Such a shitty thing to do. - She's something else, man. 45 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,734 What the hell? Come on! 46 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:33,237 I just saw your balls! They're hanging out with those shorts! 47 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:35,615 What is that? Just swivel back. 48 00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,909 Oh my God. What's with those shorts? 49 00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,578 What is it about my balls that bother you like this? 50 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,539 Balls are disgusting. It's like the elephant man under your penis. 51 00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:45,625 I think the brain and the balls are related. 52 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:48,503 If you take a magnifying glass and you put it on your balls, 53 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:51,005 it's the same pattern as the brain. 54 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,883 That's why people say you're thinking with your dick. 55 00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:57,303 Every now and then you say something so stupid, 56 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,638 but it actually makes sense. 57 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:00,973 - 'Course it makes sense. - I'm getting out of here. 58 00:03:01,057 --> 00:03:03,184 - Where you going at? - You know Duane Tubman next door? 59 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,770 - Hell yeah, Tubman. - His father just died. 60 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:09,190 Hey, you give him my deepest condolences. 61 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:12,902 I feel like I should go over and pay my respects or something. 62 00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,905 It always helps to be on good terms with your neighbor. 63 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:18,950 Okay. You know what? I just got another glimpse. 64 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,035 Honestly, that one was on purpose! 65 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:39,887 Sorry. 66 00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:43,432 So sorry. Hey. 67 00:03:43,516 --> 00:03:44,976 Larry, thank you so much for coming. 68 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,103 Of course. Hey, this is what neighbors do, right? 69 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,063 We have each other's backs. Come on. 70 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:52,441 By the way, I was really touched by what you did in Atlanta. 71 00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:55,319 Coming from a Tubman, I take that as a great compliment. 72 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:56,696 Okay. 73 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:59,699 Anyway, very sorry to hear about your father. 74 00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:02,660 Thank you. Well, father-in-law, but thank you. 75 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,747 Really? I thought it was your father. 76 00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:08,624 No, it's Lorraine's. 77 00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:10,042 - Father-in-law? - Yeah. 78 00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:14,797 That's a little better. 79 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,466 Well, it's my father-in-law. lt's a loss. 80 00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:21,345 Duane, of course it's a loss, but you know, it's not your dad. 81 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:23,889 - Larry, it's a human being. - Yeah, of course. I know that. 82 00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:26,267 I'm just trying to delineate the differences between a father 83 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,393 and a father-in-law. 84 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:31,355 - It's a very sad thing. - Terrible loss for your wife, but… 85 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:34,775 - Your dad's still alive? - Yeah. 86 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,236 - There you go. - Yeah, that's a gift. 87 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,656 And you know, it's like if you have a dog and your dog dies… 88 00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:43,784 - I'm sorry, did you say a dog? - Yeah, a dog. Say your dog dies. 89 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,828 That's one thing. That's terrible. 90 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:48,998 But if your friend's dog dies, it's not quite the same. 91 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:52,001 But anyway, is your wife around? Lorraine? 92 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:53,836 Is she here? Can I talk to her? 93 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,212 Maybe we just let her rest. 94 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,798 Will you tell her how sorry I am about her dad? 95 00:04:57,882 --> 00:05:00,176 Are you? Because it doesn't really sound like it. 96 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:01,343 Between you and me, 97 00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:05,014 my condolences aren't quite as deep as the average person's. 98 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,599 I'm picking that up. 99 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:09,351 It's like people telling each other they love them. That kind of thing. 100 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:12,438 Sorry's in that kind of category. They're the same. 101 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:15,274 They're interchangeable, really. Nobody means it. I love you. 102 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,818 Nobody means it? Of course people mean it. 103 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:21,739 Nobody means it. But, anyway, are you sure Lorraine's not around? 104 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:22,948 I'm positive. 105 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,408 Got enough food and everything? 106 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,285 Can I get you some bagels and lox? 107 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,329 - I think we're good. - Do you like a bagel? 108 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,623 There are a lot of people here, so I'm gonna… 109 00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:34,293 I'm picking up on that cue. Of course. 110 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:37,379 Actually, Larry, there's one thing. 111 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,048 I wanted to talk to you about the lemon tree. 112 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,966 - The lemon tree? - Yeah. Along the fence. 113 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,385 It's back there. It's given us so many lemons over the years. 114 00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:45,054 The one that hangs over my yard. 115 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,598 The roots, they're damaging my pipes, 116 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,809 so we got to do something about this tree. 117 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:52,061 Don't worry about the research. I'll look into it. 118 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,395 I'll get an estimate, we'll sit down, 119 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,397 and we'll split the cost of the tree maintenance, 120 00:05:55,481 --> 00:05:57,149 and we can keep enjoying these lemons. 121 00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:59,276 Split the cost of the tree? 122 00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:03,989 Duane. I mean, you know, come on. It's your tree. It's on your side. 123 00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,866 - It's our tree. - It's not our tree. 124 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:09,245 Let me get this right. So it's our tree when you want lemons, 125 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,997 and it's my tree when we have to take care of it and maintain it. 126 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,832 I want some lemons? I don't want lemons. 127 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,042 You think I need lemons in my life? 128 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,169 I can go the rest of my life without touching a lemon. 129 00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:19,588 - No lemons for life. - I put it on a piece of fish. 130 00:06:19,672 --> 00:06:21,173 What're you gonna substitute for lemons? 131 00:06:21,257 --> 00:06:24,009 - A grapefruit. - You're gonna put grapefruit on fish? 132 00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:26,804 - I put grapefruits on fish. - When? 133 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,515 I haven't actually put it on, but I've thought about it. 134 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:30,724 - Really? - Yeah. 135 00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:33,769 My point is lemons are a fungible citrus. 136 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,355 Just look around the room. We've suffered a loss. 137 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,982 You lost your father-in-law. 138 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,693 I'd appreciate you stepping up and being a neighbor 139 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,444 and paying for half of this tree maintenance. 140 00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,113 Thank you for coming out. 141 00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:52,788 Had I known that it was his father-in-law, 142 00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,915 I never would've gone to the house in the first place. 143 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:56,208 And this lemon thing. 144 00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:58,752 By the way, you know, he's a descendant of Harriet Tubman. 145 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,880 Well, you'd think his ancestors would be ashamed of him. 146 00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:04,091 No, the lemons drop. What am I supposed to do? 147 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,844 - Throw 'em back over the fence? - This person's a Tubman in name only. 148 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,470 Maybe he's not even a Tubman. 149 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:11,056 'Cause I can't imagine a Tubman behaving like this. 150 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:14,143 You know the cruel irony of this, right? You're being railroaded. 151 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,396 - It's nuts. - Hello! 152 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,524 - Sorry we're late. - Hi. 153 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,443 Susie, we have something for you. 154 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,361 Since you were away on your birthday… 155 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,739 - You want me to open it now? - Are you ready? 156 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,784 Wait a second. There's other presents here. 157 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,996 I know, but this is really important. This'll make sense in one minute. 158 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,624 - I'm scared. What is it? - Happy birthday! 159 00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:38,792 Oh my God! 160 00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:43,255 Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen, Susie? 161 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,383 - He's beautiful. - He loves you! 162 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:47,968 Beautiful. 163 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:51,680 This is the best birthday present I've ever got. I love you two. 164 00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:53,557 You're the greatest friends. 165 00:07:56,518 --> 00:08:00,647 - You know, we have a present, too. - Thank you so much. 166 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,232 - What is it? - Well, look. 167 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,194 - A Theragun. - What's that? 168 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:08,197 - Larry got it for you. - Thank you, Larr. 169 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:12,743 - You ever use one of these? - No, I haven't. 170 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:16,080 - They're good for your health. - Good. I look forward to it. 171 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,708 - That's a hell of a gift, by the way. - He's probably thirsty. 172 00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:22,503 - He's been in that box. - I'd like a Theragun. 173 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,675 So food good? Everybody happy? 174 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,719 The food is amazing, as always. 175 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:33,180 - Freddy, you're not vegan now, right? - No, no, I like the chicken. 176 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,432 - You're looking fantastic. - That's so nice of you. 177 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,851 It's just been a little SoulCycle, some walking, 178 00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:40,562 and I've been having a lot of sex with my neighbor's wife. 179 00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:45,359 Yes. My neighbors, the Harringtons, Lydia and Ron. 180 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,610 She wants to have a baby. 181 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:50,113 Turns out Ron is not capable. She can't get pregnant. 182 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,782 Blanks. Shooting blanks. 183 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:55,661 So they say, "Freddy, we would love it if you could get Lydia pregnant." 184 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:58,705 - Get out of here. - Hold on. 185 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,752 They think the baby's going to be healthier if there's really a connection 186 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:05,420 that happens during intercourse. 187 00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,297 - I can't even believe it. - This gets weirder. 188 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,467 So I say, "Yes." They say, "Terrific. How's tonight work? 189 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:13,554 "She's ovulating tonight." And what they say to me is: 190 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,306 "Here's how it's gonna work." They want boundaries. 191 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,600 Keep it kind of clinical. But guess what happens? 192 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:19,810 What happens? 193 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,812 When the shit gets lit up, there's no goddamn rules. 194 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:24,731 She comes in the door, and it's on. 195 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,693 And I mean, we do it at my house on the Funk-O-Matic. 196 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,154 We're biting butts. We're biting the ears. 197 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,447 This is fucking crazy. 198 00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,616 It's some of the best sex I've ever had in my life. 199 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,327 - And she loves her husband? - She's 100% in love with her husband. 200 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,538 - Do you give her a climax? - Well, I don't know. 201 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,957 - How would you not know? - I don't ask. 202 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,544 Do you smell musk? The sex musk you release is great for conception. 203 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:48,380 I release a lot of sex musk. Don't I, Larry? 204 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:53,885 Puppy! Where's my little boy? 205 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,555 I'm gonna make a toast here. I don't mind I have a mocktail. 206 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:59,266 - Because I'm sober. - And cheers to that. 207 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,561 - You want a sip? - Very funny. 208 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,816 Oh my goodness. 209 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,651 Okay, so I decided what we're gonna name him. 210 00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,697 - Frankie, after Sinatra. - That's a boy? 211 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,906 It's a little boy. 212 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:18,118 I got to say, for a male dog, it looks a tad effeminate. 213 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,911 Oh my God. Come on. 214 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:22,080 I think you better get that dog a pronoun. 215 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,168 Okay, Troy, three steps we're going to work on. 216 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:31,048 First, rotation on the backswing. Back to the target. Beautiful. 217 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,674 Okay, that's the first piece. 218 00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,718 Second piece, same rotation, that backswing. 219 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,929 Up to the top and stop. Nice. 220 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,681 Okay, now here's the master move, okay? 221 00:10:39,765 --> 00:10:43,852 Next piece, from there, we go vertical drop. Okay? 222 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:48,023 Horizontal tug. Nice. Can you feel it with the obliques there? 223 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,150 One more time. Up to the top. 224 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,736 Feel the rotation. Vertical drop. 225 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,991 Horizontal tug. 226 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,245 Hey. Can I help you? 227 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:04,581 Nah, I'm good. 228 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,292 I got a private lesson with Troy here. 229 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,502 Yeah, yeah. Go. 230 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,837 If you want to book a lesson, just call the golf shop. 231 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,964 They'll be happy to set something up for you. 232 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,674 Nah, I'm good. I'm just sitting here. 233 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:18,011 I saw the vertical drop, horizontal tug. 234 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,263 There's a bench here. I'm allowed to sit on a bench. 235 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,516 - It's not that kind of bench. - What kind of bench is it? 236 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:25,060 It's not a lingering bench, okay? lt's an aesthetic bench. 237 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,938 An aesthetic bench? No. Benches are for sitting. 238 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,023 We're gonna get back to the lesson, if you don't mind. 239 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,359 Let's try it again. The rotation. 240 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:35,487 Okay, stay in your spine angle. Now vertical drop, horizontal tuck. 241 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:39,116 Yeah, there it is. Okay, let's try one. Altogether, one piece. 242 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:56,049 I did Wordle again today. I'm a Wordle wizard, man. 243 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,593 I did it in three tries. That's three days in a row, man. 244 00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,387 Wow, you're really on a good streak. 245 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,347 I'm on a huge streak. That's right. 246 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,850 All right, let's see if I can continue my streak. 247 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,894 You've been unbelievable. What is this all about? How are you doing this? 248 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:11,898 I sat on a bench this morning and overheard a lesson. 249 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,942 I've had thousands of hours of lessons. 250 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,611 Two minutes on that bench. This guy changed my life. 251 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,405 - What kind of tips? - Vertical drop. 252 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:23,201 Horizontal tug! Vertical drop, horizontal tug! 253 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,787 Now, I've dropped before, but I've never tugged! 254 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,497 - And now I'm tugging! - Maybe I should tug. 255 00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:30,250 - Can you teach me how to tug? - I'll teach you how to tug! 256 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,085 - This is fantastic. - Can I tell you something? 257 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,546 I think this is the happiest I've ever been in my life! 258 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,298 I don't even know who I'm looking at right now. 259 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,008 How is something good happening to me? 260 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,135 No one on the planet would believe that you're happy. 261 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,344 How is this possible? 262 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,430 I have better news for you. I'm leaving you in my will. 263 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,807 - I'm tweaking it, and you're in it. - Don't do that. 264 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,142 It's done. You're in. 265 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:50,186 I have money. I don't need it. Give it to someone who needs it. 266 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,522 When I die, I want you to know how much I cared about you. 267 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,316 I'm not gonna keep it. I'm gonna give it to charity. 268 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:55,859 You're my best friend. You're getting it. 269 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,361 I'm making a Shermanesque statement about the will right now. 270 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,155 I'm sick of your historical references. 271 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:03,491 If nominated, I will not run. If bequeathed, I will not accept. 272 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,327 - Well, I'm bequeathing. - Well, I'm not accepting. 273 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,287 - Well, you'll have to accept. - Don't give it to me! 274 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,706 - Don't hurt my feelings. - I'm not gonna keep a penny of it. 275 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,708 - You're hurting me. - Thank you, but I don't want it. 276 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,086 - I'm giving it to you anyway, pal. - Oh my God. Fuck you! 277 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:21,051 What are you doing? 278 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,136 What do you mean? I'm waiting. 279 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,387 For what? 280 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,014 Troy and Jimmy are on the fairway. 281 00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:28,308 - You're never gonna hit them. - You don't think I could hit them? 282 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:32,062 No! You've never hit the ball that far in your life. Come on. 283 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,688 Really? 284 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,815 You're never gonna hit it that far. What, are you nuts? 285 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,108 All right, shut up. 286 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,902 No, you shut up. 287 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,165 - Holy shit! - You hit him. 288 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,084 - I hit him! - Troy, you okay? 289 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,586 - Oh my God! - How did you do that? 290 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,546 Hey! What the fuck? 291 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,466 - I told you I shouldn't fucking… - Larry! 292 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:08,014 Troy, are you okay? Slowly. Take it easy. 293 00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:11,101 Oh my God. Oh God. I'm so sorry. 294 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,227 What in the hell? 295 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,604 I don't know what happened. I'm so sorry. 296 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,022 Why didn't you yell, "fore"? 297 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,400 I couldn't yell, "fore". I mean, he can't hear. 298 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,820 And what would be the point? I waved. I did a lot of waving. 299 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:23,780 When you talk, the interpreter can hear you. 300 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,990 I know, but he was too far. He was in the car. 301 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:27,784 We could have ran to the trees! 302 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,787 There was no time! The ball was coming down! 303 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,039 Superman couldn't get there in time to stop that. 304 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,874 Why didn't you wait? 305 00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:38,044 Because the guys I was playing with, they said, "go, go, go". 306 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,213 They embarrassed me. They said, "Oh, you can never hit him." 307 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,382 Did you do the vertical drop, horizontal tug? 308 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,009 Yeah, I did it. I did the vertical drop and the horizontal tug. 309 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,846 It really worked. Look how far I hit the ball. I couldn't even believe it. 310 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,141 - I'm watching you. - Watching me? Really? 311 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,185 There's not much to watch. I don't really go anywhere. 312 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:57,188 I'm home most of the time. I'll do a crossword puzzle. 313 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,607 Sometimes I'll go out to dinner. I hate my life. 314 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,484 You don't want to witness it. 315 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,111 You're a real asshole. 316 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:07,240 I am so deeply and profoundly sorry for what happened. 317 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,534 I really want to make it up to you somehow. 318 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,745 Let me get you a Postmates dinner. I'll send one to your house. 319 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:16,040 Would you like that? There's some very good restaurants on Postmates. 320 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,586 I'll have it delivered right to your door. What did you do? 321 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,421 - Did you tell him what I just said? - Everything. 322 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,006 Did you tell him about the Postmates dinner? 323 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,091 You just went like this. You didn't do anything. 324 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,302 - That's the sign. - It took two seconds. 325 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,387 - I'm good. - You didn't tell him. 326 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,848 Don't bullshit me. Why didn't you tell him about the Postmates dinner? 327 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,683 That's a very nice gesture! 328 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,936 Deeply and profoundly sorry, and you offer him Postmates? 329 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,813 You know he didn't tell him about the Postmates! 330 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,690 - He told him. - Where's my ball? 331 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,941 I don't know. 332 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,401 - You don't know? - I don't know. 333 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,236 It hit him in the back right over here! 334 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,155 - It's up your ass, Larry! - Where's the ball? 335 00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:49,824 - You took my ball? - Go back to the tee, hit another ball! 336 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:52,702 Two stroke penalty! 337 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:56,205 I'm gonna just drop it over here. I'll drop it where the body was. 338 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,584 That's in the rules. I'm not gonna take a penalty, I'll tell you that. 339 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,711 I'm not taking a penalty. I hit the ball over here. 340 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,422 I hit one of the great shots of my life. I'm playing from here. 341 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,009 They threw my ball away. I got to take a drop. 342 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,261 - No dropping, man. - You can't take a drop. 343 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,306 - They threw my ball away! - You hit somebody! 344 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,601 He's okay. Listen, I'm dropping a ball. 345 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,436 Not on our watch you're dropping a ball. 346 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,896 I'm not going back to the tee! 347 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,698 - What the fuck was that? - Holy shit. 348 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:36,913 - It sounds like a coyote. - It is a coyote. They're killers, man. 349 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,915 Sounds like he's eating a dog. 350 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,917 Jeff, don't you live around there? 351 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,960 That is my house. 352 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:46,464 Oh my God! That could be my puppy! 353 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,512 You know what, Larr? I got to go home. 354 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:55,056 - What? - That could be my dog! 355 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,725 - Does your neighbor have a dog? - Yeah, there's a few dogs around. 356 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,852 So maybe one of your neighbors' dogs. 357 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,729 That sounded like a puppy. 358 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,732 If he's eaten, there's nothing you can do about it. 359 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:07,360 And if he's dead, what are you gonna do, sit Shiva? 360 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,570 Can't bring the dog back to life. 361 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,155 We're talking about a puppy. 362 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:14,283 I know, but we're on the golf course, we're having a nice day. 363 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,577 - You'll see it later. - You know he's right. 364 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,872 And if it's not, there's nothing to be gained by going home. Let's just play. 365 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,958 You know what? You're right. 366 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,877 Either my puppy's dead or it's a neighbor's dog. 367 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,671 Nothing you could do either way. 368 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,673 All right, I'll play. 369 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,508 - Well, I'm dropping. - You're not dropping. 370 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:34,637 - I'm dropping. - You are not dropping the ball! 371 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,723 - Fuck you! I'm dropping the ball. - You're a cheater! 372 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:42,103 - No, you're a cheater. - You're a cheater! 373 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:48,192 How about the drive on 15? What about that, huh? 374 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,865 - Frankie! - Look at this! 375 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,161 - What? - He's alive! 376 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,371 Of course he's alive. Why would he not be alive? 377 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:06,419 We're having the game of our lives, and we hear a coyote and then a yelp. 378 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,921 - We heard a coyote. - It was crazy. 379 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,090 We thought the coyote ate the dog! 380 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,466 You thought it was Frankie? 381 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,468 - Yeah! - So what did you do? 382 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:21,517 What, you continued to play? 383 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,688 - Yeah. - You didn't come to see if he was okay? 384 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,984 We just assumed that, you know, he was… 385 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,361 Dead. And if he's dead, what can we do? 386 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,364 This little boy, this little beautiful, little creature is dead, 387 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:40,077 and you continue to play? What kind of heartless pieces of shit are you? 388 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,788 We thought about the puppy and how the puppy was dead, 389 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,875 and we thought about golf, and golf was there. 390 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,294 What could we do? There's nothing to do. 391 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,672 Well, what about me? You didn't think about how I was feeling at home 392 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,507 with the coyote eating my boy? 393 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,218 I must admit, you didn't come into our heads. 394 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,388 Really? You are about as selfish as they come. 395 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,016 And you, Larry, you have no heart. 396 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:05,978 You have no soul. What if I was maimed by a coyote? 397 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,230 What would you do then, huh? Would you continue playing? 398 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:13,819 Certainly, I would give you more consideration than I gave the dog. 399 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,865 But ultimately, I think I'd play through. 400 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,076 You know what? Get the fuck out. You disgust me. 401 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,162 What do you do after a person's dead? They're dead! 402 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:27,667 Don't ever touch this dog, think of this dog, look at this dog! 403 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:31,879 No loss to me to not be involved with your dog. 404 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,256 Don't care. That's no punishment at all. 405 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,800 - Get out! - Okay, I'll leave. 406 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,511 But in my defense, let me just say there are very few people I'd leave 407 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:42,932 the golf course for if I found out they died. Even you! 408 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,018 - Really? - Well depends how I'm playing. 409 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,106 Coming! 410 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,151 - Hey, Larry. - Hello, Duane. 411 00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,654 Sorry to barge in but got the estimate for the tree service. 412 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,864 If you got a minute, I'd like to talk about it. 413 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:02,076 - Yeah. Come on in. - Thanks. 414 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,038 So, how you feeling? 415 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,624 We're healing. Slowly. 416 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,086 Have you had any laughs at all since? 417 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:15,548 In the last 48 hours? No, not a whole lot of laughter in the house. 418 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,300 Just curious. I mean, if somebody told a joke, 419 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,803 do you think you have the capacity to laugh? 420 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,097 I guess it would depend on the joke, Larry. 421 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,141 So a funny joke could make you laugh. 422 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:29,395 And provide some temporary relief in a very painful time. 423 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:32,440 Got it. Okay. Just curious. 424 00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:35,901 So the invoice. I got the invoice from the tree service. 425 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,695 They had to remove the stump too. 426 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:40,072 If we could just split that down the middle. 427 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,867 Okay, come on. Duane. 428 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:45,453 - They had to remove the stump. - 2,700? 429 00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:48,080 For eating a couple of lemons a month? 430 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:51,000 And that's how much it costs to get rid of a tree. 431 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,461 Duane, I got to tell you something, okay? 432 00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:56,130 This is very un-Tubman-like behavior. 433 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,008 That's the second time with Tubmans. I don't know what you mean. 434 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:03,679 l don't think that your great Aunt Harriet would condone this. 435 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,306 So what kind of person was she, Larry? 436 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,975 Well, she was the kind of person who smuggled slaves from the South 437 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,227 to the North and didn't charge them. 438 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:11,520 Really? 439 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,230 You know what Harriet Tubman would have done? 440 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:17,860 She would have come over to my house with a big basket of lemons. 441 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,988 "Larry, darling, take as many lemons as you'd like." I'd go, 442 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,449 "Harriet, they're dropping into the yard. I don't need it." 443 00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:27,036 This has been a real education for me on my own ancestry. 444 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,788 This is Leon. You know Duane, our neighbor? 445 00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,832 - What's up, D? - How you doing, brother? 446 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,667 He gets a "brother" right away, huh? 447 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:37,087 Every Black person you meet, you say "brother" to? 448 00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:39,298 You say "brother" and you give him one of those right there. 449 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:41,008 - You too? - Respectful nod. 450 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:44,011 - A nod is like our "aloha". - I don't do a Jew nod. 451 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,055 You guys got that song already, "Hey, Jew". 452 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,099 That's Hey Jude with a D. J-U-D-E. 453 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:52,686 Anyway, Duane, let's have a neighborly adult discussion about this. 454 00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:57,441 I want to do the right thing here. I can't possibly pay all this. 455 00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:01,028 There's some charges here that I just can't possibly go along with. 456 00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:06,784 It just seems very excessive. It's not right. It's not my tree. 457 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,620 I'd like to think I'm a fair man. Am I a fair man? 458 00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,539 - This is a fair man right here. - l do the right thing, don't I? 459 00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:14,166 What you see is what the fuck you get. 460 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,753 Okay, don't worry about it. I got it. I'll see myself out. 461 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:20,047 - You mean I don't have to pay? - No, you do not. 462 00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:23,467 What the hell was that? That was amazing. 463 00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:25,552 My boy just ran out of here. 464 00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:30,265 Oh my God! No, no! 465 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,686 There they are! He saw it! 466 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:37,314 That's why he rushed out of here! He saw your boys! 467 00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:43,654 Those withered grotesqueries just saved me 1,350 dollars! 468 00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:46,657 He lost his mind! He left! I don't have to pay anything! 469 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,034 That's fucked up. All Black balls are like this. 470 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:51,787 Thank you. And thank you! 471 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:53,539 My balls said, "You're welcome." 472 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:59,586 And he sits on the arm of the couch, and his balls are hanging out. 473 00:23:00,295 --> 00:23:04,466 And the guy got so discombobulated and takes off. 474 00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:08,595 My balls showed up and saved the fucking day. 475 00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:10,889 That reminds me. Remember that girl Lydia, 476 00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,558 the neighbor that I'm helping out? 477 00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:17,146 She is ovulating. And the bad news, though, is I have to go up to Shasta. 478 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,023 I got a mattress emergency, so I'm not gonna be able to be in town. 479 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,234 But she's asking if I know anybody. 480 00:23:22,317 --> 00:23:25,571 Any of you guys willing to step in and help my neighbor out, 481 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,948 being there for her for her pregnancy needs? 482 00:23:28,031 --> 00:23:29,867 - Seriously? - You're kidding. 483 00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:31,744 We're on the bench and you're sending a reliever? 484 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,704 You guys want to see her? Here she is. 485 00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:38,167 - Beautiful. - Let me see that. Yeah, I'd hit that. 486 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,920 - She's fabulous. And I'm in. - What do you got, three sperm? 487 00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:45,132 You can have intercourse with her for the next 15 years. 488 00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:47,259 There's no way you're ever going to impregnate her. 489 00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:49,303 I'll bet you 1,000 dollars I got more sperm than you. 490 00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:51,305 You got more sperm than me? In your dreams. 491 00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:52,806 And I will bury you with my sperm. 492 00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,976 The only problem is you can't get someone pregnant on old-ass sperm 493 00:23:56,059 --> 00:23:58,061 when it's in powdered milk form. 494 00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,316 - I'm out, Leon. - I'll tap that. 495 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:05,986 Leon's in. Let me get a video here. Hold on. I'm gonna send her this. 496 00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:08,780 Make it simple and make it quick. Here we go. Ready? All right. 497 00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:11,325 I'm Leon Black. You know what it is. 498 00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:13,535 I'm looking forward to tapping that ass. Hope you ready. 499 00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:16,246 And if you happen to get pregnant, that's a bonus. How about that? 500 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,249 Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. 501 00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,627 All right, there you go. Let's see what she says. 502 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:23,629 So just deliver about three or four mattresses, 503 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:25,214 put 'em in front of the house. 504 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,299 That way when I wear one out, open a new mattress, 505 00:24:27,382 --> 00:24:28,508 put that shit down, too. 506 00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:31,178 Yeah, you got to have a lot of runway to land the plane. I understand. 507 00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:34,473 Okay, she got back to me. Boy, that was quick. 508 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,600 And she said yes to Mr. Leon Black. 509 00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:40,604 - Fuck yeah. - Congratulations. 510 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,481 Hey, funny guy, 511 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:45,317 when you hit Troy with golf ball, you didn't say "fore". 512 00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:48,237 - I waved. - Wave means what? 513 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,446 Hello. Goodbye. 514 00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:52,157 But it doesn't mean "I'm going to hit you with a golf ball". 515 00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:54,243 But he's deaf. He can't hear. What was I supposed to do? 516 00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:56,328 And also, why you steal a lesson from Jimmy? 517 00:24:56,411 --> 00:24:57,829 I didn't steal a lesson from Jimmy. 518 00:24:57,913 --> 00:25:02,251 It's because your golf is so terrible nothing can help. Huh? 519 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:05,671 - It's kusai. - Kusai? What is that? 520 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:07,422 Stinky. 521 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:11,093 One more mistake and you're out. 522 00:25:12,552 --> 00:25:13,971 Enjoy. 523 00:25:18,267 --> 00:25:23,271 Sou desu ka. 524 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:32,948 What? 525 00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:38,245 Baka. 526 00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:51,133 - Hey, what is this? - What? 527 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:54,052 Look at this. They roped off the bench. 528 00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:55,637 - Because of you? - Yeah. 529 00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:59,599 "Sitting prohibited during lessons"? What an asshole! I got roped! 530 00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:01,226 You did get roped. 531 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:06,398 - Oh, do I suck. - At least you putted out. 532 00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:08,483 So sick of this game. What a waste of time! 533 00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:11,486 By the way, my will? I'm going to see an estate attorney this week, 534 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,613 so you'll be covered. You're set. 535 00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:18,410 You know, it's kind of starting to dawn on me what's going on. 536 00:26:18,493 --> 00:26:19,745 What are you talking about? 537 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:23,832 You're putting me in your will 'cause you want me to put you in my will. 538 00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:25,667 - Are you out of your fucking mind? - Is that right? 539 00:26:25,751 --> 00:26:28,462 Would I be that shallow and that manipulative and clandestine? 540 00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:31,047 - Yes, you would. Yeah. - That's bullshit. 541 00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:33,592 - This is a low point. - It never occurred to you? 542 00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:37,763 Now that you mention it, it sort of makes sense. 543 00:26:37,846 --> 00:26:39,723 I'll give you the same that you give me. How's that? 544 00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:41,266 I'd say we do percentages. 545 00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:43,977 And by the way, what makes you think that I'm gonna die before you? 546 00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:46,855 You're a little ragged right now. I'm in a little better shape than you. 547 00:26:47,481 --> 00:26:49,983 I'm gonna outlive you by 20 years. 548 00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:51,985 My trainer is gonna move in with me. 549 00:26:52,068 --> 00:26:54,863 As soon as I get home, I'm gonna hire a nutritionist, 550 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,407 I'm gonna get an acupuncturist, a masseuse. 551 00:26:57,491 --> 00:27:01,995 I will not have a donut for the rest of my life, 'cause I wanna outlive you. 552 00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:03,788 You know what? Sugar. 553 00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:07,834 You cocksucker. You gave away Wordle? You fuck. That's so low. 554 00:27:07,918 --> 00:27:09,669 - You deserve it. - You sicken me. 555 00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:12,964 I'm gonna be waking up at five o'clock every morning and giving Wordle away. 556 00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:14,841 You'll never do another Wordle for the rest of your life. 557 00:27:14,925 --> 00:27:17,677 I'll wake up at four every morning and ruin it for you. 558 00:27:17,761 --> 00:27:20,639 - I'll call my friend in New York! - I'll call my friend in London! 559 00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:22,933 I got a friend in Israel! What do you think about that? 560 00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:24,434 My friend lives on the equator! 561 00:27:31,691 --> 00:27:33,777 So what do you feel like's been the common miss? 562 00:27:33,860 --> 00:27:35,946 I just feel like I'm using all muscle, no technique. 563 00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:39,783 I'm leading with the hips like I'm always doing, right? 564 00:27:39,866 --> 00:27:41,952 That's the worst advice ever to keep your head down. 565 00:27:42,035 --> 00:27:44,454 You got to release the head, okay? Then the hips. 566 00:27:44,538 --> 00:27:46,289 Everything comes after that, all right? 567 00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:49,000 Soften it all up, and we're gonna take it up to the top. 568 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:55,590 And then with the head. What are you looking at? 569 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:58,343 Unbelievable. Larry, I see you in there. 570 00:27:58,426 --> 00:27:59,844 - What? - Stealing another lesson! 571 00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:02,013 I'm not stealing a lesson, I'm using the bathroom! 572 00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:04,349 Just a master of deception and subterfuge. 573 00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:07,644 I was here first! I don't even know what you're talking about! 574 00:28:07,727 --> 00:28:09,854 Yeah, you're here first 'cause you're creeping and peeping! 575 00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:11,648 You owe me two lessons. 576 00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:14,943 And that's not even a lesson! What, are you telling him to pick his head up? 577 00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:16,444 Everybody says to put their head down. 578 00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:17,862 You got to release the head. 579 00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:19,906 Who doesn't look at the ball, you fucking idiot 580 00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:21,741 Mr. Takahashi's going to hear about this one. 581 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,743 Tell him. I don't give a shit. 582 00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:24,953 Let's get out of here. 583 00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:28,623 "Don't look at the ball!" Give me a break! Moron! 584 00:28:29,332 --> 00:28:30,750 Is he the cutest, Cheryl? 585 00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:35,255 I had it custom made. It's open! 586 00:28:35,588 --> 00:28:37,549 - He's pooping? - His poops are gorgeous. 587 00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:39,884 I mean, the most beautifully formed poops. 588 00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:41,594 Hey, Larr. What's up? 589 00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:45,432 Came to use the Theragun. I injured my groin with this new swing. 590 00:28:45,515 --> 00:28:47,600 - The what? - The Theragun. My birthday gift? 591 00:28:47,684 --> 00:28:51,062 It's down right where you left it last time. 592 00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,940 So he's some kind of genius or something, I'm not kidding. 593 00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:57,068 - The dog has such a high IQ. - He's a regular Einstein. 594 00:28:58,319 --> 00:29:02,449 Auntie Cheryl and Uncle Ted. He is a smart puppy. 595 00:29:04,325 --> 00:29:08,997 Oh my God, this thing is fantastic. What a relief. 596 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,541 Isn't that something you should be doing in private? 597 00:29:11,624 --> 00:29:14,669 I got pants on. What are you talking about? 598 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:17,213 Frankie, what's the matter? That's scaring him. 599 00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:19,632 - Hey, shut the fuck up. - Don't you talk to my dog that way! 600 00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:22,052 But it's already getting better. I feel it loosening up. 601 00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:24,471 - All right, good for you. - You want to try it? 602 00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:26,848 - No. Get that away from me. - You wanna try it? 603 00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:29,225 You just rubbed it on your balls. No, thank you. 604 00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:32,479 Hey, an old man like you, you should be using this. It's really good. 605 00:29:32,562 --> 00:29:34,773 You know, we heard about you on the golf course, 606 00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:36,816 with the coyote and Frankie thing. 607 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:41,070 So? It's not my dog. I was playing golf. I wanted to finish the round. 608 00:29:41,154 --> 00:29:42,238 That's so selfish. 609 00:29:42,322 --> 00:29:45,241 What was I gonna do, give the dog mouth to mouth resuscitation? 610 00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:48,620 Well, you could stop golfing and make sure the dog is alive. 611 00:29:48,703 --> 00:29:51,206 That's like what a human being would do. 612 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:53,875 What am I supposed to do, go to his funeral? I mean, I don't understand. 613 00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:58,004 I think you were hoping that Frankie was dead because you were jealous. 614 00:29:58,087 --> 00:30:00,256 That's lunacy. "I hope the dog is dead." 615 00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:02,133 What do I give a shit about a dumb little dog? 616 00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:05,887 You're jealous because we gave Susie a gift that means something to her, 617 00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:08,765 and you gave that stupid thigh jackhammer. 618 00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:12,894 - I mean, really? - Turn that off while we're talking. 619 00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:14,854 Go to the bathroom and do it. 620 00:30:14,938 --> 00:30:17,065 You always have to be the center of attention, man. 621 00:30:17,148 --> 00:30:18,983 Center of attention? I don't understand. 622 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:21,486 Atlanta. Come on. Really? 623 00:30:21,569 --> 00:30:23,071 You know what I think? 624 00:30:23,154 --> 00:30:27,700 I think you're jealous that I'm the one who got arrested in Atlanta 625 00:30:28,701 --> 00:30:30,787 and I'm getting all this attention. 626 00:30:30,870 --> 00:30:32,622 You know what? Yeah, I am jealous. 627 00:30:32,705 --> 00:30:34,415 - Yeah, I know you are. - You know why? 628 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:35,917 I should have been the one who was arrested 629 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,212 because I use it as a platform for the good of the planet. 630 00:30:39,295 --> 00:30:41,172 Use it for the good of your publicist. 631 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:43,925 He's authentic. He cares about people. 632 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:47,011 I'm authentic. I care about myself. 633 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:48,388 And only yourself. 634 00:30:48,471 --> 00:30:51,474 There's an authenticity involved in caring about oneself. 635 00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,561 - Oh my God. - Is that unbelievable? 636 00:30:54,644 --> 00:30:58,064 Hey, you know what, Mr. Danson? I got one word to say to you. 637 00:30:58,147 --> 00:31:01,985 - Sugar! - What does that mean? 638 00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:03,111 I got it in two. 639 00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:05,822 That's Wordle? You gave away todays Wordle? 640 00:31:05,905 --> 00:31:07,991 I didn't do it yet, you fucking piece of shit! 641 00:31:08,074 --> 00:31:09,576 You've crossed the line now, mister. 642 00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:13,037 Take your crappy, mediocre gift and get the fuck out of my house! 643 00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:14,998 Cause I'm not going to use that piece of shit. 644 00:31:15,081 --> 00:31:16,624 Two, Larry. Got it in two. 645 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:21,254 I'll take my fantastic gift that just healed an injury in one minute! 646 00:31:21,337 --> 00:31:23,965 And by the way, you didn't get Wordle in two. 647 00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:28,094 - You're full of shit. Wordle in two. - Ted is smart. 648 00:31:28,177 --> 00:31:30,054 Wait, let me say goodbye to your stupid fucking dog. 649 00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:33,141 - Don't you touch that dog. - Do not touch the dog. 650 00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:35,935 My ass. You never got anything in two! 651 00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:38,938 He didn't have a groin injury. His groin's perfectly fine. 652 00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:41,733 - Hey, there's no charger. - Just go! 653 00:31:41,816 --> 00:31:44,235 Let me tell you something, and this goes for all of you. 654 00:31:44,319 --> 00:31:46,779 You're gonna be injured one day, probably pretty soon. 655 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:49,824 Don't ask to use my Theragun. You're not getting it. Just know that. 656 00:31:50,783 --> 00:31:53,453 Go! And don't come back! 657 00:32:08,843 --> 00:32:10,511 Hey. You want this? 658 00:32:11,804 --> 00:32:13,639 No, no, no, don't get up! 659 00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:21,189 Fore. 660 00:32:22,982 --> 00:32:25,610 - One! - Sorry. 661 00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:37,121 Stop flip, flipping. What are we gonna watch? 662 00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:39,499 Let's just make a decision, you know? 663 00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:44,587 - Sienna Miller. - Who? 664 00:32:44,670 --> 00:32:45,838 Sienna Miller. 665 00:32:45,922 --> 00:32:48,299 There's a documentary I really want to watch 666 00:32:48,382 --> 00:32:53,179 about endangered Californian wildlife, the San Diego fairy shrimp. 667 00:32:53,262 --> 00:32:55,181 Give me five minutes. I just wanna watch five minutes. 668 00:32:55,264 --> 00:32:57,225 Two minutes. Three minutes. 669 00:33:01,604 --> 00:33:04,398 My hammer toe is getting so bad. 670 00:33:05,149 --> 00:33:08,861 It kind of helps, but I don't want to have surgery at six weeks. 671 00:33:08,945 --> 00:33:10,363 Got to wear a boot. 672 00:33:11,197 --> 00:33:13,950 And it's time to shave my corns again. 673 00:33:14,033 --> 00:33:15,910 My podiatrist, what an idiot. 674 00:33:15,993 --> 00:33:17,745 Could you push that on for me? 675 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:21,582 For God's sake, protect my callus. It's so painful. 676 00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:27,713 - You must be the Harringtons. - I'm Lydia. 677 00:33:27,797 --> 00:33:29,173 - I'm Ron. - I'm Larry. 678 00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:32,468 - Larry, nice to meet you. - Come on in, please. 679 00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:35,513 - It's pretty nasty out. - It doesn't feel like L.A. 680 00:33:36,055 --> 00:33:38,724 Leon! 681 00:33:40,268 --> 00:33:42,645 - Help yourself to some tea. - Thank you. 682 00:33:42,728 --> 00:33:44,772 Very kind. Thank you so much. 683 00:33:44,855 --> 00:33:46,649 This is really nice of you to broker this for us. 684 00:33:46,732 --> 00:33:49,902 - Whatever I can do to help. - Thank you. 685 00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:52,905 There he is! This is Leon. 686 00:33:52,989 --> 00:33:54,865 - Hi. I'm Lydia. - Hey, Lydia. 687 00:33:54,949 --> 00:33:56,993 Hey. Ron. How are you, Leon? 688 00:33:57,076 --> 00:33:59,412 That sounds sexy. I love those one-syllable names. 689 00:33:59,495 --> 00:34:02,498 Except Lydia has three syllables, not one. 690 00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:04,125 Now you're doing fucking math right now? 691 00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:07,295 - I call her Dee sometimes. - Hey, problem fucking solved. 692 00:34:08,129 --> 00:34:10,214 So you two are interested in starting a family. 693 00:34:10,298 --> 00:34:13,217 - We want to expand our family. - We already have a little one. 694 00:34:13,968 --> 00:34:17,096 - We have a small dog. - Yeah, Mabel. 695 00:34:17,179 --> 00:34:19,974 - It's like she's a person. - She's not a person. She's a dog. 696 00:34:20,057 --> 00:34:21,559 She's very much like a little person. 697 00:34:21,642 --> 00:34:23,352 And what can she do that a person does? 698 00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:26,022 What Larry's saying is that a dog cannot be a person 699 00:34:26,105 --> 00:34:27,898 'cause a dog can't do what people do. 700 00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:31,193 Now, people can do dog-like shit. Like, a contortionist in the circus? 701 00:34:31,277 --> 00:34:34,405 This motherfucker can bend his body up and lick his own balls. 702 00:34:34,488 --> 00:34:36,615 Do you think that motherfucker can't lick his own nuts? 703 00:34:36,699 --> 00:34:37,783 Of course he can. 704 00:34:38,784 --> 00:34:41,537 - Can you excuse us for one second? - Of course. 705 00:34:42,163 --> 00:34:45,207 If you want to fuck this woman, I suggest you shut up, 706 00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:48,919 because every time you open your mouth, you're hurting your chances. 707 00:34:49,003 --> 00:34:52,340 Let me tell you something right now. I'm the dick salesman right now, right? 708 00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:55,926 My dick is on the market, okay? Let me sell this motherfucking car. 709 00:34:57,219 --> 00:34:59,764 Well, Leon, thank you so much for doing this. 710 00:34:59,847 --> 00:35:01,349 We are so excited. 711 00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:04,643 And thank you for giving my dick the opportunity to serve you. 712 00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:06,937 - So we have a window here. - I'm ovulating. 713 00:35:07,021 --> 00:35:08,981 Yeah, so if you have any questions for us… 714 00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:11,233 Do you guys want a girl? 'Cause if you do, 715 00:35:11,317 --> 00:35:13,402 I'ma have to start eating a lot of mustard. 716 00:35:14,528 --> 00:35:15,905 My fucking sperm is strong. 717 00:35:15,988 --> 00:35:19,325 That little motherfucker gon' come out with a mustache and bad credit. 718 00:35:19,408 --> 00:35:24,288 I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that my IQ is 152. 719 00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:25,748 152? 720 00:35:26,582 --> 00:35:28,459 And my mother was Miss Bensonhurst. 721 00:35:28,542 --> 00:35:31,295 That's very impressive, Larry, but your services won't be necessary. 722 00:35:31,378 --> 00:35:35,883 Just FYI, I don't know if you guys ever heard of the big Johnson community. 723 00:35:35,966 --> 00:35:38,385 All right. I think we're good here. 724 00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:39,762 Thank you so much, Leon. 725 00:35:39,845 --> 00:35:42,014 - All right, well, so long! - Nice meeting you. 726 00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:45,643 Can I give you a little tip? Keep those eyes closed. 727 00:35:45,726 --> 00:35:47,478 Thank you. Bye. 728 00:35:48,062 --> 00:35:49,939 Well, we gotta get home to Mabel, 729 00:35:50,022 --> 00:35:52,024 but I have your number, and I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah? 730 00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:53,567 Give me a call. And you get some sleep. 731 00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:56,195 You're gonna need it. Tap that ass tomorrow. 732 00:35:56,278 --> 00:35:58,656 Thank you. No masturbating. 733 00:35:58,739 --> 00:36:00,032 Hey, you neither. 734 00:36:01,117 --> 00:36:04,078 - No masturbating. - Fuck is she, the cum police? 735 00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:08,457 "Mr. Takahashi would like to see you in his office tomorrow." 736 00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:09,541 Shit! 737 00:36:10,209 --> 00:36:14,171 You know what that means? I'm gonna get kicked out of the club. This is it. 738 00:36:14,672 --> 00:36:16,132 There's Duane. 739 00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:24,431 Booker, let's go. Come on. 740 00:36:25,516 --> 00:36:28,894 Motherfucker ain't even nod his head. This fucking guy. 741 00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:30,187 What's his problem? 742 00:36:39,196 --> 00:36:40,364 Come in! 743 00:36:41,198 --> 00:36:43,784 You are in big trouble. 744 00:36:44,243 --> 00:36:47,538 I hear you no longer the funny guy. 745 00:36:47,621 --> 00:36:50,416 You are the cheap and violent guy. 746 00:36:50,499 --> 00:36:54,837 First you hit Academy Award winner Troy with golf ball. 747 00:36:55,462 --> 00:36:59,133 And then, you hit him with bagel! What do you have to say for yourself? 748 00:36:59,216 --> 00:37:02,386 Okay. First of all, the night before 749 00:37:02,469 --> 00:37:04,096 I didn't have a very good night's sleep. 750 00:37:04,179 --> 00:37:07,349 I'm dreaming I'm in a fish tank with a lot of little guppies around me 751 00:37:07,433 --> 00:37:09,727 and goldfish, and they're all pecking at me. 752 00:37:09,810 --> 00:37:12,313 Pecking, pecking, pecking. They weren't hurting me. 753 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:15,774 And then in the morning, I'm going, "I wonder why I had that dream." 754 00:37:15,858 --> 00:37:18,527 "Is it because I said I don't really like salmon?" 755 00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:21,947 I never said anything else about fish. And so, I'm exhausted. 756 00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:26,160 And I go to the driving range that morning, and I'm sitting on the bench. 757 00:37:26,243 --> 00:37:28,287 I'm thinking about what I'm going to have for lunch. 758 00:37:28,370 --> 00:37:29,788 I'm not gonna have fish, I know that. 759 00:37:29,872 --> 00:37:33,375 Then I hear Jimmy. He's giving a lesson. Vertical drop, horizontal tug. 760 00:37:33,459 --> 00:37:35,336 Okay. Stop! No more! 761 00:37:36,962 --> 00:37:38,130 What's that? 762 00:37:40,132 --> 00:37:43,052 - Get out! - Can do, Mr. T. Got it. 763 00:37:43,469 --> 00:37:46,722 Go away. I don't want to see any part of you. Go! 764 00:37:46,805 --> 00:37:48,182 Arigato. 765 00:37:49,099 --> 00:37:50,309 Baka. 766 00:38:02,488 --> 00:38:04,698 What was that? Was that a coyote? 767 00:38:06,533 --> 00:38:08,660 Mabel? Did you hear a dog? 768 00:38:08,744 --> 00:38:09,745 I didn't hear shit.