1 00:00:12,872 --> 00:00:15,917 So I needed a new lawyer, and Susie was going on and on 2 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,377 about what a great lawyer you are. 3 00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:19,754 And then, the coup de gras, she told me your last name. 4 00:00:19,838 --> 00:00:22,173 Mantle. Christopher Mantle. 5 00:00:22,257 --> 00:00:25,677 Oh my God. I mean Mickey Mantle, he was my idol growing up. 6 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,971 I don't follow baseball, but I know who Mickey Mantle is. 7 00:00:28,054 --> 00:00:29,430 Oh my God, it's an amazing name. 8 00:00:29,806 --> 00:00:32,016 Susie's great at connecting everybody. I love her. 9 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,727 By the way, she mentioned you might be going to the temple 10 00:00:34,811 --> 00:00:36,146 for the reopening of the plaza thing. 11 00:00:36,229 --> 00:00:40,316 I'm being dragged there by this woman who I'm connected to somehow. 12 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,861 - I'm being dragged there, too. - Really? 13 00:00:42,944 --> 00:00:44,320 Yeah, my husband is Jewish. 14 00:00:44,404 --> 00:00:47,866 We're both being dragged. Look at that. 15 00:00:47,949 --> 00:00:50,577 So, I familiarized myself with the case, 16 00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:53,079 like the rest of America, and listen to me, Larry. 17 00:00:53,162 --> 00:00:56,040 This is the most unconstitutional law that's ever been passed. 18 00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,251 The law should be on trial, not you. 19 00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:01,588 So I'm confident this will get cleared up quickly. 20 00:01:02,005 --> 00:01:03,840 And I'll file something by the end of the week, 21 00:01:03,923 --> 00:01:06,050 which is the cutoff date to file a motion to dismiss. 22 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:08,094 So all will be taken care of. You can rest easy. 23 00:01:08,177 --> 00:01:10,388 Oh my God, that is music to my ears. 24 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:13,808 We're gonna avoid a trial, and it's gonna be tossed out. 25 00:01:13,892 --> 00:01:17,729 Mr. Mantle. You just hit a home run. You know? 26 00:01:17,812 --> 00:01:19,606 That's fantastic. 27 00:01:19,689 --> 00:01:24,068 So the good news is I can still parade around like I'm a hero of sorts 28 00:01:24,569 --> 00:01:27,614 without having to go to trial, or prison, or anything. 29 00:01:27,697 --> 00:01:30,450 You will not have to go to trial. You will not be going to prison. 30 00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:32,118 Mr. Mantle, Denise on line one. 31 00:01:32,201 --> 00:01:33,661 One second. Sorry. 32 00:01:34,203 --> 00:01:35,830 Hello? Yeah. 33 00:01:37,081 --> 00:01:41,753 Really? Oh, that's great. Can you put that back, Larr? 34 00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:45,048 Yeah, it's great. Thank you so much, Denise. Okay, bye. 35 00:01:45,131 --> 00:01:46,841 Sorry about that. That was my surrogate. 36 00:01:46,924 --> 00:01:48,718 My husband and I are having a baby. 37 00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:51,971 Congratulations. Big news. That's great. 38 00:01:52,055 --> 00:01:53,973 - We're really excited. - You like the surrogate? 39 00:01:54,057 --> 00:01:55,266 I do. She's really sweet. 40 00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:58,353 She took an IQ test? You don't want to get a moron, right? 41 00:01:58,436 --> 00:02:01,856 - You're sure she's not a moron? - Yes. Thank you for your concern. 42 00:02:01,939 --> 00:02:04,567 Let me ask you a question. How does it work with a gay couple? 43 00:02:04,651 --> 00:02:06,319 Who gets to choose the last name? 44 00:02:06,402 --> 00:02:09,822 We had a discussion, and we chose my husband's name. 45 00:02:09,906 --> 00:02:12,158 - Which is? - Zeckelman. 46 00:02:15,828 --> 00:02:18,915 You're going with Zeckelman over Mantle? 47 00:02:18,998 --> 00:02:20,917 Is there something wrong with his last name? 48 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,711 It's not the greatest last name in the world, 49 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,922 but Mantle is one of the great names. 50 00:02:26,005 --> 00:02:30,718 Well, thank you. I personally think Zeckelman is also a great name. 51 00:02:32,637 --> 00:02:33,805 Is that okay? 52 00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:36,432 It's okay. It's not so great for the kid. 53 00:02:36,516 --> 00:02:37,892 Why is it not great for the kid? 54 00:02:37,975 --> 00:02:41,938 I don't know any Zeckelman's who hit 536 home runs. 55 00:02:42,021 --> 00:02:43,731 Yet. 56 00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:46,567 - Okay. - Nice to meet you, Larry. 57 00:02:46,651 --> 00:02:48,528 - Nice to meet you. - I'll see you at temple. 58 00:02:48,611 --> 00:02:52,990 - Are you going with Zeckelman? - I'm going with Zeckelman, yeah. 59 00:02:53,074 --> 00:02:54,450 Great. See you there. 60 00:02:54,534 --> 00:02:55,785 Okay. 61 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:58,454 Let me tell you. I met the greatest girl. 62 00:02:58,538 --> 00:03:00,915 Her name is Jenna, and she's pretty incredible. 63 00:03:00,998 --> 00:03:03,751 Been going on for a couple weeks. She's really funny. 64 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:06,796 She's smart. She knows music. She challenges me. 65 00:03:06,879 --> 00:03:08,881 - Great conversationalist. - What does she do? 66 00:03:08,965 --> 00:03:11,551 She works for Disney. I think she's an executive. 67 00:03:11,634 --> 00:03:13,219 She always is talking about the film. 68 00:03:13,302 --> 00:03:15,054 She knows all the things that are coming out. 69 00:03:15,138 --> 00:03:17,640 I mean, she was talking about, like, the princess costumes 70 00:03:17,723 --> 00:03:19,142 and where they're going and evolving. 71 00:03:19,225 --> 00:03:22,186 Just to be involved in steering the television and the films is a lot, 72 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:25,022 but she's got to keep it in her mind, like, "How do I turn that into a ride?" 73 00:03:25,106 --> 00:03:28,526 That's pretty impressive, yeah. I've never heard you talk like this. 74 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,403 Well, I've never felt this way before. 75 00:03:30,486 --> 00:03:31,612 Sports. She into sports? 76 00:03:31,696 --> 00:03:33,489 It's too soon. I haven't gotten into sports yet. 77 00:03:33,573 --> 00:03:36,492 If you get sports here, it's too much. 78 00:03:36,576 --> 00:03:38,452 If I get sports, you're my best man. 79 00:03:38,536 --> 00:03:40,496 If she working at Disney, next time you talk to her, 80 00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:42,123 ask her about that fine-ass Tinkerbell. 81 00:03:42,206 --> 00:03:43,457 You're attracted to Tinkerbell? 82 00:03:43,541 --> 00:03:46,127 Tinkerbell flies her little ass. She put her little booty out. 83 00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:49,839 With that little booty tooch. That little booty go out, and bling! 84 00:03:49,922 --> 00:03:52,800 It speaks of a very unusual perversion. 85 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,761 A man attracted to a thimble-sized fairy. 86 00:03:55,845 --> 00:03:59,432 Tinkerbell fine as fuck. I'll put her in my motherfucking pocket. 87 00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:01,350 And I'll just walk around knowing she home. 88 00:04:01,434 --> 00:04:03,519 And she flies her little ass out there, give me a little kiss on the cheek 89 00:04:03,603 --> 00:04:04,645 and flies the fuck off. 90 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,567 That's a nice-ass jacket you got, too. 91 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,277 - Yeah. Thank you. - Looks good on you. 92 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:12,445 I really like it. 93 00:04:12,528 --> 00:04:14,614 And you wouldn't normally think suede would be nice. 94 00:04:14,697 --> 00:04:16,282 'Cause it's a darker green. Isn't it nice? 95 00:04:16,365 --> 00:04:18,659 Look at that fish. What's up with that fish? 96 00:04:19,285 --> 00:04:21,913 - Looks like it's stuck. - Look at him struggle. 97 00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:24,582 His little nose is trapped in that filter. 98 00:04:25,416 --> 00:04:27,710 - Excuse me. - Yes, sir? 99 00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:30,504 That fish, it looks like he's stuck. 100 00:04:30,588 --> 00:04:33,007 No, fish not stuck, fish sick. 101 00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,675 No, no, fish stuck. 102 00:04:34,759 --> 00:04:37,637 This time of year is tough for fish, so fish gets sick easily. 103 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,972 The filter is very warm, so it make him feel better. 104 00:04:40,056 --> 00:04:41,223 So it's okay. It's normal. 105 00:04:41,307 --> 00:04:43,351 Seriously? Look at that. That fish is stuck. 106 00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:45,728 See, fish wiggle, it mean fish sneeze. 107 00:04:45,811 --> 00:04:47,480 Fish don't sneeze. The fish didn't sneeze. 108 00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,440 - No, fish sneeze. - This guy's stuck. 109 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,108 - Fish sick now. - Fish stuck. 110 00:04:51,192 --> 00:04:52,944 Well, he's gonna get sick if he stays stuck. 111 00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:55,905 Can someone go in the tank and unstuck? 112 00:04:55,988 --> 00:04:57,823 Sir, it's not necessary. Fish sick. 113 00:04:57,907 --> 00:04:59,742 - You're out of your mind. - You know what? 114 00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,661 All this talk about fish, now I want fish. 115 00:05:01,744 --> 00:05:04,664 - Give me the snapper off the menu. - Fish delicious. Okay. 116 00:05:04,747 --> 00:05:06,666 - My man. - No, that's a stuck fish. 117 00:05:06,749 --> 00:05:08,542 I feel so bad for that fish. 118 00:05:08,626 --> 00:05:10,544 At least that motherfucker can't drown. 119 00:05:13,589 --> 00:05:15,758 Great meeting everybody. Keep coming back. 120 00:05:15,841 --> 00:05:17,093 It works if you work it. 121 00:05:26,977 --> 00:05:29,814 Hey, if it worked for you, then that's all I care about. 122 00:05:32,108 --> 00:05:33,317 Hey. 123 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:36,362 You're not supposed to have these. These are for everybody. 124 00:05:36,445 --> 00:05:39,949 - They count it exactly. - What? There's tons of 'em. 125 00:05:40,032 --> 00:05:41,951 Hey, Larry. Thanks for coming. 126 00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:43,911 Hey, good to see ya. 127 00:05:43,994 --> 00:05:46,997 Tell ya what, you alcoholics, you know your way around a good donut. 128 00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,792 - I guess that's true. - Are you addicted to these now? 129 00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:51,419 Well, as you can tell. 130 00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:55,297 You know, Richard Lewis is here. He spoke during the meeting. 131 00:05:55,381 --> 00:05:58,259 Well, he took over the meeting. It was a lot. 132 00:05:58,342 --> 00:05:59,718 It was his turn to share. 133 00:05:59,802 --> 00:06:01,595 'Cause he shared and shared and shared. 134 00:06:01,679 --> 00:06:04,348 A lot of people find it funny, but he works so blue. 135 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:08,811 I heard the word "hell" like three times. 136 00:06:08,894 --> 00:06:12,565 - Listen… - Just ask him. 137 00:06:12,648 --> 00:06:15,401 He gets this all the time, trust me. 138 00:06:15,484 --> 00:06:17,570 - I'm embarrassed. - That's okay. Don't be embarrassed. 139 00:06:17,653 --> 00:06:18,988 Be embarrassed. Don't ask. 140 00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:21,866 If you don't have to, don't. 141 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:24,785 My daughter, she wants to be a writer. 142 00:06:24,869 --> 00:06:28,873 I just wondered if you had anybody that maybe could read her stuff? 143 00:06:32,877 --> 00:06:35,796 Sheesh. Let me think about it. 144 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,340 - Really? - What the hell are you doing, man? 145 00:06:38,424 --> 00:06:40,634 - He hates being hugged. - There's no touching here. 146 00:06:43,304 --> 00:06:45,014 Really, I appreciate the compliment. 147 00:06:45,723 --> 00:06:48,100 - You should've seen me today. - You had a good meeting? 148 00:06:48,184 --> 00:06:51,228 I got laughs bigger than I've ever gotten before at a meeting. 149 00:06:51,312 --> 00:06:52,980 I thought you were supposed to share here. 150 00:06:53,063 --> 00:06:54,398 It sounds like you're doing stand-up. 151 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,275 - It's not stand-up. - You're talking like it's stand-up. 152 00:06:56,358 --> 00:06:58,652 I can't divorce my comic self. 153 00:06:58,736 --> 00:07:01,947 Part of me will always be a comedian and a drunk. 154 00:07:02,031 --> 00:07:04,158 I wish you would come and see me sometime. 155 00:07:04,241 --> 00:07:05,701 Hey. Excuse me, Larry. 156 00:07:05,784 --> 00:07:09,163 You absolutely murdered it tonight. Big laughs. 157 00:07:09,246 --> 00:07:12,374 Come back next time. I'll do new stuff. They love me. 158 00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:15,711 What is going on here? This doesn't sound like an AA meeting. 159 00:07:15,794 --> 00:07:18,130 - It sounds like a concert. - I'm doing a service. 160 00:07:18,214 --> 00:07:20,216 But l want people to laugh and enjoy. 161 00:07:20,299 --> 00:07:21,842 Do you let anybody else talk? 162 00:07:21,926 --> 00:07:25,012 There was a sad old lady who opened for me, but she only did 10 minutes. 163 00:07:25,095 --> 00:07:28,182 The only problem is you're doing your act, but nobody's drinking. 164 00:07:28,265 --> 00:07:29,475 Imagine if they were drinking. 165 00:07:29,558 --> 00:07:32,269 If they were drinking, the roof would be blown off. 166 00:07:32,353 --> 00:07:34,855 - You know, forget about it. - Excuse me. I'm sorry. 167 00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:38,025 That was just incredible. I had to thank you. 168 00:07:38,108 --> 00:07:39,735 - A lot of laughs? - A lot of laughs. 169 00:07:39,818 --> 00:07:42,488 The bartender from hell part, I was crying. 170 00:07:42,571 --> 00:07:44,156 - Did that work? - Yeah, it totally worked. 171 00:07:44,239 --> 00:07:46,075 Have a good night. Thank you. 172 00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:48,327 - I'm here, like, twice a week. - Okay, good. Thanks. 173 00:07:48,410 --> 00:07:49,662 The bartender from hell. 174 00:07:49,745 --> 00:07:53,832 I do the "from hell" on occasion, but I'm workshopping a few other things. 175 00:07:53,916 --> 00:07:56,710 I'll tell ya, another couple of meetings like this, I'll have a special. 176 00:07:56,794 --> 00:07:59,296 That's a fantastic idea. The AA special. 177 00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:00,881 This is the hook I've been looking for. 178 00:08:00,965 --> 00:08:04,802 Why not talk about being sober, but get a special with HBO? 179 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,011 There you go. 180 00:08:06,095 --> 00:08:07,680 Thank you. That's why we're best friends. 181 00:08:07,763 --> 00:08:09,306 The Drunk From Hell concert. 182 00:08:13,978 --> 00:08:16,480 - Hors d'oeuvres? - I don't think so. 183 00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,024 - What is this? - You're gonna eat that? 184 00:08:19,108 --> 00:08:22,778 I may go get something else, so I need to build a base with some rice. 185 00:08:22,861 --> 00:08:25,656 - Yeah, go build your rice base. - You gonna be okay on your own? 186 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,784 - It'll be tough, but yeah. - Stay right there. 187 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,000 - Hey! - Good to see ya. 188 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,294 Larry, this is Jenna, who I told you so much about. 189 00:08:39,378 --> 00:08:41,672 - So nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. 190 00:08:42,381 --> 00:08:45,300 - He talked. He did some talking. - Did he? 191 00:08:45,384 --> 00:08:49,680 He did. I'm hearing talk. A lot of talk. 192 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:53,434 It's kind of fortuitous that I ran into you, because… 193 00:08:53,892 --> 00:08:55,853 All right, here we go, okay? 194 00:08:55,936 --> 00:09:00,023 First of all, I hate asking for favors almost as much as I hate doing favors. 195 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,651 And so, I have a friend whose daughter wrote a script, 196 00:09:02,735 --> 00:09:07,698 and the guy asked me if l knew anybody who could read the script, 197 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:11,452 and Freddy told me all about you, and would you mind reading it? 198 00:09:11,535 --> 00:09:16,582 - You want me to read the script? - I'm sure you're really busy. 199 00:09:16,665 --> 00:09:18,959 - l would love to read the script. - You're kidding. 200 00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:20,210 No, I'd be excited. 201 00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:24,131 Maybe if you had any notes, you know, feel free, you know. 202 00:09:24,214 --> 00:09:26,592 - Totally. - I'm sure she would love that. 203 00:09:26,675 --> 00:09:29,678 - I can give her notes. - Where did you find her? 204 00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:32,306 - Where's the planet? - Did I oversell? 205 00:09:32,389 --> 00:09:35,601 - There's no more. - Stop. I'm blushing. 206 00:09:35,684 --> 00:09:36,935 I'll get you guys set up. 207 00:09:37,019 --> 00:09:39,271 We got to run along and meet a couple other people. 208 00:09:39,354 --> 00:09:41,732 - So nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. 209 00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:44,318 - This is the guy? - Yes, that's him. 210 00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:47,446 - Right here? - But we don't have to make a thing. 211 00:09:47,529 --> 00:09:50,407 Just give me a second. Hey. Larry? 212 00:09:50,491 --> 00:09:54,536 Abe Zeckelman. You have a problem with the name of our child? 213 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,582 - I wouldn't say it's a problem. - Well, what is it? 214 00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:02,044 I thought that given the choice of Mantle and Zeckelman 215 00:10:02,127 --> 00:10:04,463 that Mantle was a better name. 216 00:10:04,546 --> 00:10:05,714 Based on what exactly? 217 00:10:05,797 --> 00:10:07,341 Let's be honest, it's not a great name. 218 00:10:07,424 --> 00:10:09,384 - What's wrong with it? - Zeckelman? Come on. 219 00:10:09,468 --> 00:10:11,345 You seem really worked up over my last name. 220 00:10:11,428 --> 00:10:14,014 If you think that's a great name, then what's a bad name? 221 00:10:14,097 --> 00:10:16,225 I'd rather have a bad last name than no last name. 222 00:10:16,308 --> 00:10:19,019 My name's Larry. I don't think it's a great name. I'm honest about it. 223 00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:21,813 Would I rather be a Dash, or a Dazzy, or a Dan? 224 00:10:21,897 --> 00:10:24,650 Well, the good thing about an opinion is that you can keep it to yourself. 225 00:10:24,733 --> 00:10:27,110 But then everybody would walk around not saying anything. 226 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,529 - You're not keeping this to yourself. - No, I couldn't keep this to myself. 227 00:10:29,613 --> 00:10:31,240 I couldn't keep that to myself. 228 00:10:31,323 --> 00:10:33,575 It's a deeply inappropriate conversation to be having. 229 00:10:33,659 --> 00:10:36,578 Just think about the playground. He's in a unique situation. 230 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,538 What's that supposed to mean? 231 00:10:38,622 --> 00:10:40,999 Well, you know, the two dads. 232 00:10:41,083 --> 00:10:43,293 Yeah, it's not that unique of a situation. 233 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,963 - Maybe it's not unique. Different. - Different? 234 00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:49,633 - Slightly different? - To us, it's normal. 235 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,385 Yeah… 236 00:10:51,468 --> 00:10:54,554 Let me ask you this question. How did you decide on the last name anyway? 237 00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:56,682 I assume it's your semen, right? 238 00:10:57,516 --> 00:10:59,893 - What did you just say? - We're talking about semen now. 239 00:10:59,977 --> 00:11:02,562 I assume it's your semen? That's how you got Zeckelman? 240 00:11:02,646 --> 00:11:05,774 - We're having this conversation? - I'm just wondering how you got there. 241 00:11:05,857 --> 00:11:09,361 - It's my semen. - If you must know, it's his semen. 242 00:11:09,444 --> 00:11:11,446 - It's your semen? - What's the problem with that? 243 00:11:11,530 --> 00:11:16,618 I mean, you would think that the donor would get the name. 244 00:11:16,702 --> 00:11:19,121 Well, we had a conversation at home about it. 245 00:11:19,204 --> 00:11:20,372 Because it's a private thing. 246 00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:24,167 I don't know if you've chosen a first name, but if you need any help, 247 00:11:24,543 --> 00:11:25,585 I'm your guy. 248 00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:29,548 - 'Cause you got two first names. - Off the top of my head, Ziggy. 249 00:11:29,631 --> 00:11:32,300 - Ziggy Zeckelman. - You think that's a great name? 250 00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:33,969 I do. Scooter Zeckelman? 251 00:11:34,052 --> 00:11:36,138 They're all good names. We'll put 'em both in the hat. 252 00:11:36,221 --> 00:11:38,974 - We're not putting that in the hat. - How 'bout Foots? 253 00:11:39,057 --> 00:11:41,351 Is our family a joke to you, Larry? 254 00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:43,812 No! Zeckelman needs a cool first name! 255 00:11:43,895 --> 00:11:46,690 I think I've had enough of this conversation. 256 00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,734 - Great to meet you, Larry. - Doc Zeckelman. 257 00:11:48,817 --> 00:11:50,944 - Doc Zeckelman is a joke. - Ace. 258 00:11:51,027 --> 00:11:52,779 - I'm gonna go get some food. - Ace Zeckelman? 259 00:11:52,863 --> 00:11:55,282 - That's not a great name? - We're gonna talk about it at home. 260 00:11:55,365 --> 00:11:59,661 Dewey, Duncan, Deegan. Deegan. After the Major Deegan Expressway. 261 00:11:59,745 --> 00:12:02,038 - We got plenty of options. - I'm giving you gold here. 262 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:05,625 Chris. Forget it. 263 00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:07,043 - What? - Don't bother. 264 00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:09,045 I got to go. 265 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,965 Babe, come on. Come back. 266 00:12:28,565 --> 00:12:29,941 What the fuck? 267 00:12:33,695 --> 00:12:36,907 Excuse me. Rabbi Adelman? Can I talk to you for a second? 268 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,159 - Sorry to interrupt. - I'm glad you're here today. 269 00:12:39,242 --> 00:12:41,077 - Who's in charge of the bricks? - I am. 270 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,580 You are? You know there's a brick that says, 271 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,666 "L. David is disrespectful to women"? You allowed that to be up there? 272 00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:48,376 We don't really edit the bricks. 273 00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:51,838 The donor gets to express what thoughts and feelings they have. 274 00:12:51,922 --> 00:12:53,882 So anybody can write anything they want on a brick? 275 00:12:53,965 --> 00:12:57,219 - Well, we would not like hate speech. - That's hate speech. 276 00:12:57,302 --> 00:13:00,680 - I think it's strong dislike speech. - I want that taken down. 277 00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:02,933 We only add bricks. We don't take them away. 278 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:07,312 You don't remove bricks? That brick is gonna be up there forever. 279 00:13:07,896 --> 00:13:08,980 Posterity. 280 00:13:09,064 --> 00:13:12,943 There's nothing in the Old Testament about defamatory bricks? 281 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,695 You think if Isaac chiseled something defamatory about Jedediah, 282 00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:17,280 you think it wouldn't be taken down? 283 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,908 There's nothing in the Torah about defamatory bricks. 284 00:13:19,991 --> 00:13:23,203 You know what this is, Rabbi? This is a shanda. 285 00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,622 - Will you excuse me? - Certainly. 286 00:13:27,624 --> 00:13:28,833 Larry? 287 00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:32,504 Oh my God! This is crazy. 288 00:13:32,963 --> 00:13:35,882 Hi, again. What a treat. 289 00:13:35,966 --> 00:13:38,551 Usually most people you don't really want to run into either, 290 00:13:38,635 --> 00:13:40,679 but l'm not minding this at all. 291 00:13:40,762 --> 00:13:43,098 - Me neither. Likewise. - So what are you doing here? 292 00:13:43,181 --> 00:13:46,851 I'm actually in the process of converting to Judaism. 293 00:13:46,935 --> 00:13:50,897 - Yeah, that's my rabbi. - Get the hell out of here. What? 294 00:13:50,981 --> 00:13:53,149 - You're joining the team? - I am. 295 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:57,237 We are so happy to have you. Are you prepared to complain a lot? 296 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,864 Please, I can kvetch with the best of them. Come on. 297 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:05,120 Very impressive. I'd be remiss if I didn't ask, why? 298 00:14:05,203 --> 00:14:08,707 I like the whole thing. I like the food and the community, 299 00:14:09,374 --> 00:14:11,710 and truth be told, you know, I like the men. 300 00:14:11,793 --> 00:14:13,920 Aside from the obvious, you know, reasons. 301 00:14:14,004 --> 00:14:17,924 These obvious reasons escape me. What are they? 302 00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:22,512 I mean, you know, their… Can't deal with the alternative. 303 00:14:25,724 --> 00:14:28,393 - Yeah. It's so good to see you. - Very good to see you, too. 304 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,021 I have one question for you. What is this wall? 305 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:36,067 This is for tennis. They put the winners of the tournament up. 306 00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:39,904 You guys do a temple tennis tournament? I am obsessed with tennis. 307 00:14:39,988 --> 00:14:42,115 I know, but it's just a wall. 308 00:14:42,198 --> 00:14:44,909 You should enter the tournament next year. 309 00:14:44,993 --> 00:14:48,246 They have a temple tournament? Mixed doubles? 310 00:14:48,329 --> 00:14:49,664 Mixed doubles, yeah. 311 00:14:49,748 --> 00:14:53,793 Amazing. How's everything? How's the whole court case? 312 00:14:53,877 --> 00:14:55,754 It's scary, yeah. It's a frightening prospect. 313 00:14:55,837 --> 00:15:00,508 I could plead guilty and just get off, but I'm not gonna do that. 314 00:15:01,384 --> 00:15:04,179 - And I don't think it's a big deal. - That's so sweet. 315 00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:08,058 Listen, I'm having a dinner party next week. 316 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:11,728 I don't know if you're around, but I'd love you to come. 317 00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,899 Really. There are so many people that would love to meet you and talk to you, 318 00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,817 and I would love to see you again. 319 00:15:17,901 --> 00:15:21,112 So, maybe? Next week sometime? 320 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:25,784 If you're here. It would be an honor for all of us. What do you say? 321 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:31,498 I don't think I can make it. 322 00:15:32,624 --> 00:15:37,545 Okay. Well, let's just hope we can run into each other again. 323 00:15:37,629 --> 00:15:40,173 - Yeah, hope so. - Yeah. I got to schmeitz. 324 00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:42,675 You what? What's that one? 325 00:15:42,759 --> 00:15:46,012 Got to go. It's Yiddish. 326 00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:48,431 - That's a new one to me. - There you go. 327 00:15:53,311 --> 00:15:56,564 I'm running a little late, so you can just drop me off here. 328 00:15:56,648 --> 00:15:59,025 - Are you sure? - Yeah. I work right there. 329 00:15:59,108 --> 00:16:01,819 I don't mind taking you a little further if it's… 330 00:16:01,903 --> 00:16:04,697 No, this is great. I work right there. 331 00:16:04,781 --> 00:16:08,368 Do you work above the Disney store? They have an office or something? 332 00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:10,828 No, I work at the Disney store. 333 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:14,040 So you're managing the different stores or… 334 00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:16,626 Oh, God no. I don't have the head for numbers. 335 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,504 I'm so sorry. What do you do here? 336 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:22,006 I'm a greeter, and I talk to the guests. 337 00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:25,218 I put on a costume, like a princess, 338 00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:28,471 like Snow White or Elsa or Ariel. 339 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:32,559 My favorite is Mickey's favorite, 340 00:16:33,351 --> 00:16:36,938 Minnie Mouse. It's the best. 341 00:16:37,021 --> 00:16:39,107 - And you do all of that… - Right there. 342 00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:40,775 At the Disney store? 343 00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:43,570 You know what would be so helpful with that is the "store" part. 344 00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:47,365 "Hello. Come in. The most magical store in the mall." 345 00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:51,536 You don't have any managerial or developmental role at Disney at all? 346 00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,663 No. I mean, I'm a senior character. 347 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:58,126 - What's a junior character? - I would say, like, Doc McStuffins. 348 00:16:59,043 --> 00:17:01,546 But listen, I got to go. I had so much fun last night. 349 00:17:02,005 --> 00:17:04,632 - It was a great evening. - I'll see you later. Bye. 350 00:17:05,508 --> 00:17:09,470 Oh boy! Bye. 351 00:17:09,554 --> 00:17:12,765 All right. Save it for in there. Don't drain the tank with me. 352 00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:22,608 - How did you not know that? - How would I know? 353 00:17:22,692 --> 00:17:25,570 We're talking about movies and music, and she tells me she works for Disney. 354 00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,864 You never asked her about her job? What about Disney? 355 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,073 What department? 356 00:17:29,157 --> 00:17:33,286 She lives in Glendale. I just assumed she's like animation or something. 357 00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,330 I didn't know she was working at the fucking Americana. 358 00:17:35,413 --> 00:17:37,498 I feel like I've been living a lie, I got to be honest. 359 00:17:37,582 --> 00:17:40,543 I had this whole great thing in my head that I was excited about, 360 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,045 and now I just feel crushed. 361 00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,130 Well, you had somebody who's accomplished. 362 00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:46,966 She had a status, and the status is gone. 363 00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:48,551 So what is that saying about you? 364 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,429 You're right. It does say something about me. 365 00:17:51,512 --> 00:17:55,058 The problem is this makes you reflect on who you are, 366 00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,101 because she's the same person. 367 00:17:57,185 --> 00:17:59,562 It's the same great stories. It's the same sense of humor. 368 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,023 It's the same likes and dislikes, but it feels so different. 369 00:18:02,106 --> 00:18:04,734 I think there's a lesson to be learned here. 370 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,612 Questions. Women like questions. 371 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:11,074 When you have a date with someone, you've got to ask a ton of questions. 372 00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:12,784 Otherwise, they're going back to their friends, 373 00:18:12,867 --> 00:18:15,119 and you know what they're saying? "He didn't ask me one question." 374 00:18:15,203 --> 00:18:17,747 - They love questions. - What would you do? Honestly. 375 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,124 I'm so superficial, I'd probably break up. 376 00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:21,334 Right away? 377 00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:23,544 Yeah. I'm not gonna date Minnie Mouse. 378 00:18:23,628 --> 00:18:26,005 I think the thing I got to do is at least kind of try. 379 00:18:26,089 --> 00:18:28,132 You know, spend some time with her and bridge the gap. 380 00:18:28,216 --> 00:18:30,218 - Oh my God. - What is it? 381 00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,347 I gave her a script to read. She said she'd be happy to! 382 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:36,641 Why didn't you ask her what kind of development she did? 383 00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,893 - Why is she taking a script? - Are you gonna listen to the notes? 384 00:18:38,976 --> 00:18:41,229 I'm gonna listen to the notes from Minnie Mouse! 385 00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:47,819 The callback to the Corona ad on the beach? So, so good. I loved that part. 386 00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:50,279 Thank you. 387 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:54,951 Honestly, Dana, it's really refreshing to see a comedic, apocalyptic show. 388 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,787 - So you're buying the whole premise? - Totally. 389 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,497 'Cause it's out there. 390 00:18:59,580 --> 00:19:03,125 And when it comes to questions, one last thing. Meg. 391 00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,711 - I didn't understand. - You didn't understand? 392 00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:09,215 Like, what she wanted? Yeah. I struggled with that. 393 00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:11,843 She's a little one dimensional. I had more in there. 394 00:19:11,926 --> 00:19:14,554 Like, her backstory, what she went to school for, all that stuff. 395 00:19:14,637 --> 00:19:18,724 I think you should put it back. Does it feel long? 396 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,603 Yes. And I almost trimmed it. 397 00:19:22,687 --> 00:19:26,107 I'm so embarrassed. I just need to tighten it up. 398 00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:28,859 Dana, I think you have such a good script here. 399 00:19:29,277 --> 00:19:31,737 - Thank you so much. - You're getting me so, so excited. 400 00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:34,657 And I just want to thank you for letting me read it. 401 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,118 Are you kidding me? Thank you for reading it. 402 00:19:37,201 --> 00:19:39,245 And if there's anything else you want me to read… 403 00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:40,830 - Are you serious? - Of course. 404 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:44,709 I'm so excited for you and your future. And oh my God, oh my God. 405 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,628 We're coming out with a new line of Little Mermaid sleepwear, 406 00:19:47,712 --> 00:19:49,880 and I get a discount, so if you text me your sizes, 407 00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:51,340 I can hook you up. 408 00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:54,760 Hey, you want some of this? 409 00:19:54,844 --> 00:19:56,345 - You wash your hands? - No. 410 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,722 'Cause you're making it for yourself, 411 00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,807 so you're doing all this stuff like a third base coach. No. 412 00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:04,020 - What you guys talking about? - Look at this. I come bearing gifts. 413 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,439 - Shit, man. Don't do this. - What do we think it is? 414 00:20:06,522 --> 00:20:08,190 - Are you kidding me? - No. 415 00:20:08,858 --> 00:20:11,152 You said you liked it, and so I'm giving it to you. 416 00:20:11,235 --> 00:20:13,237 - I did say that. - Come on, do us the honors. 417 00:20:13,321 --> 00:20:14,864 I'ma put this shit on, man. 418 00:20:15,573 --> 00:20:17,283 - Looking sharp. - Holy cow. 419 00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:18,617 I think it looks incredible. 420 00:20:18,701 --> 00:20:20,786 Anybody want to get Chinese food for lunch today? 421 00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:21,912 Nah. Fuck that. 422 00:20:21,996 --> 00:20:23,748 I can't 'cause I got to see Minnie Mouse. 423 00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:26,584 I'm gonna have a better attitude about it. She's the same person, right? 424 00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:29,628 I got a date, and I'm gonna keep it, and I'm gonna make it work. 425 00:20:29,712 --> 00:20:31,797 - Thank you for everything. - Appreciate it too, man. 426 00:20:31,881 --> 00:20:35,009 - I appreciate you. - Appreciate you, Secret Santa. 427 00:20:35,092 --> 00:20:37,511 Jesus, that's amazing he gave you that jacket. That was so nice. 428 00:20:37,595 --> 00:20:39,847 It's the "I like it" gambit. 429 00:20:39,930 --> 00:20:42,350 All you got to do is compliment people on what the fuck they're wearing, 430 00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:43,934 and they gonna give you one. 431 00:20:44,018 --> 00:20:46,187 You know what? It's not a bad idea. 432 00:20:46,270 --> 00:20:47,563 It's a fucking great idea. 433 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,982 I'll bet that works like 50% of the time. 434 00:20:50,066 --> 00:20:53,152 Wish I had a suede durag to go with this motherfucker. 435 00:20:59,784 --> 00:21:00,951 Fuck you, Larry. 436 00:21:01,535 --> 00:21:02,870 Fuck you, Larry! 437 00:21:04,413 --> 00:21:05,623 So what's going on? 438 00:21:05,706 --> 00:21:09,126 You know, not that much. What is this material? 439 00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,920 - What do you call this material? - Cotton. 440 00:21:11,253 --> 00:21:13,464 - You think this is cotton? - Why are you here? 441 00:21:14,131 --> 00:21:16,383 Well, it's very simple, really. 442 00:21:16,759 --> 00:21:19,220 So they renovated the temple, and they have this plaza, 443 00:21:19,303 --> 00:21:21,138 and they were selling these bricks for charity. 444 00:21:21,222 --> 00:21:24,809 And Hobie Turner wrote something very defamatory about me, 445 00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:26,227 and it's there for everyone to see. 446 00:21:26,310 --> 00:21:28,395 It says, "Larry David is disrespectful to women." 447 00:21:28,479 --> 00:21:30,648 Come on, Cheryl. I love women. 448 00:21:30,731 --> 00:21:33,567 Who loves women more than me? I love having sex with them. 449 00:21:33,651 --> 00:21:36,195 I love talking to them. I'm a champion of women. 450 00:21:36,278 --> 00:21:39,406 Being a champion to women is saying that you love… 451 00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:41,200 Well, it means I'm attracted to women. I like them. 452 00:21:41,283 --> 00:21:42,660 There's a difference. 453 00:21:42,743 --> 00:21:44,954 So I'd like to refute his brick 454 00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:48,624 by having somebody who I know write something nice about me. 455 00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:49,750 - On the brick? - Yes. 456 00:21:49,834 --> 00:21:52,545 "I was married to Larry David for many years," 457 00:21:52,628 --> 00:21:55,714 "and he's a veritable champion of women." Something like that. 458 00:21:55,798 --> 00:21:58,342 Right next to it. They'll read his first. They'll read yours second. 459 00:21:58,425 --> 00:21:59,802 You buy a brick. 460 00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,472 - I don't think so. - Why not? 461 00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:06,809 - It doesn't feel right. - What's not right? 462 00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:10,020 - Because it sounds bullshitty. - You don't have to say that exactly. 463 00:22:10,104 --> 00:22:14,441 Say something nice. You think you could come up with something nice? 464 00:22:14,525 --> 00:22:17,278 - Hey, Cheryl? - Hi. 465 00:22:17,361 --> 00:22:20,281 Hi, Larry. Can we run lines when he goes? 466 00:22:20,364 --> 00:22:25,286 Well, Larry has a defamatory brick, and he wants me to buy more bricks. 467 00:22:25,369 --> 00:22:27,872 Yeah, somebody wrote a defamatory brick about me. 468 00:22:27,955 --> 00:22:29,957 It says, "Larry David is disrespectful to women." 469 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,835 Terrible, terrible thing to say. And I love women, Ted. 470 00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:34,795 Well, he loves having sex with women, 471 00:22:34,879 --> 00:22:38,716 and he thinks that that proves that he respects women. 472 00:22:38,799 --> 00:22:40,384 And there are other things, too. 473 00:22:40,467 --> 00:22:45,931 Larry, completely understand. The deal is we already bought a brick, right? 474 00:22:46,015 --> 00:22:47,808 Yeah, we already bought a brick. 475 00:22:47,891 --> 00:22:50,978 You didn't even know what I was talking about when I brought up the brick. 476 00:22:51,061 --> 00:22:53,647 You probably told me, and I forgot or something. I don't know. 477 00:22:53,731 --> 00:22:58,569 Maybe I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry. But we did. We bought a brick. 478 00:22:58,652 --> 00:23:00,571 Ted does a lot of things. He's very charitable. 479 00:23:00,654 --> 00:23:03,991 You bought a brick, huh? And what does your brick say, Ted? 480 00:23:04,074 --> 00:23:05,659 Nothing. We left it blank. 481 00:23:06,410 --> 00:23:08,996 - The brick says nothing? - Yeah. You know, we're raising money. 482 00:23:09,079 --> 00:23:10,581 We're not trying to advertise. 483 00:23:10,664 --> 00:23:13,083 I don't think you bought a brick. What do you think about that? 484 00:23:13,167 --> 00:23:15,461 Look, the point is we bought a fucking brick, Larry. 485 00:23:15,544 --> 00:23:17,880 I'll tell you what. I'll make it very easy for you. 486 00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:20,299 I'll buy the brick. I'll write something nice. 487 00:23:20,382 --> 00:23:22,259 All you got to do is put your name on it. 488 00:23:22,343 --> 00:23:23,427 I don't feel comfortable. 489 00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:26,889 What if it just said, "I was married to Larry David, and he's a decent guy"? 490 00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:29,767 - Who writes that on a brick? - It's dishonest. 491 00:23:29,850 --> 00:23:31,060 Well, then you write it. 492 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:32,728 I don't have anything to say on a brick. 493 00:23:33,479 --> 00:23:35,814 You can't think of one nice thing to say about me on a brick? 494 00:23:35,898 --> 00:23:37,024 No, not on a brick. 495 00:23:37,107 --> 00:23:38,567 All right, so just for argument's sake, 496 00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:41,862 is there anything nice you could say about me that's not on a brick? 497 00:23:41,945 --> 00:23:43,364 Yes. 498 00:23:44,448 --> 00:23:48,994 Something on a cake. "Congratulations, good job". 499 00:23:49,078 --> 00:23:52,247 - "Happy birthday." - "He's a good golfer sometimes." 500 00:23:52,331 --> 00:23:55,584 - You want some more tea? - I'd love some more tea. 501 00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:58,337 How much longer do you think you'll be staying, Larry? 502 00:23:58,962 --> 00:24:00,589 I'm leaving right now. 503 00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:03,258 I just need to learn these lines, that's all. 504 00:24:03,342 --> 00:24:07,221 Nice pen. Good pen. Look at that pen. That's some pen. 505 00:24:07,721 --> 00:24:10,182 - Thank you. - How do you get a pen like that? 506 00:24:10,265 --> 00:24:12,684 - Do you want the pen, Larry? - I'm not gonna take your pen. 507 00:24:12,768 --> 00:24:14,144 - Take the pen. - Really? 508 00:24:14,228 --> 00:24:16,397 - Yes, take the pen. - You're giving me your pen? 509 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,940 Good luck with the brick. 510 00:24:19,817 --> 00:24:21,276 Okay. How's this? 511 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:25,739 "He's an amiable fellow and a big supporter of Title Nine." 512 00:24:25,823 --> 00:24:26,949 Bullshit. 513 00:24:27,449 --> 00:24:33,288 "He's an amiable fellow who's attended two WNBA games." 514 00:24:33,372 --> 00:24:34,623 - Is that true? - No. 515 00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:37,251 And besides, you never went to one of Sammy's softball games. 516 00:24:37,334 --> 00:24:39,002 I invited you so many times. 517 00:24:39,086 --> 00:24:41,088 The kid couldn't even lift up a pencil. 518 00:24:41,171 --> 00:24:43,173 Stop it. She's very talented! 519 00:24:43,257 --> 00:24:44,633 How 'bout this? 520 00:24:44,716 --> 00:24:47,094 "Any woman who Larry David impregnated" 521 00:24:47,177 --> 00:24:49,346 "he not only paid for the abortion," 522 00:24:49,429 --> 00:24:53,267 "but accompanied her to the procedure". That's true. 523 00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:55,644 - You're wasting my time. Leave. - You're not gonna buy a brick? 524 00:24:55,727 --> 00:24:56,854 Apparently not. 525 00:25:22,045 --> 00:25:23,547 - Hello? - Hey, Larry. 526 00:25:23,630 --> 00:25:26,341 - It's Cyrus, Irma's sponsor. - Yeah, I know who you are. 527 00:25:26,425 --> 00:25:28,677 I just wanted to call you because my daughter met 528 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,138 with that woman you recommended, Jenna. 529 00:25:31,221 --> 00:25:32,389 Yeah, look… 530 00:25:33,473 --> 00:25:36,351 - She was great. - What? 531 00:25:36,435 --> 00:25:39,813 My daughter said she gave great notes. She made the script better. 532 00:25:39,897 --> 00:25:41,148 - She was amazing. - Seriously? 533 00:25:41,231 --> 00:25:43,525 Yeah! I thought she wouldn't even give her the time of day. 534 00:25:43,609 --> 00:25:46,403 Yeah, for a high-powered executive, she's very down to Earth, isn't she? 535 00:25:46,486 --> 00:25:49,156 Yeah. Right? They even met at a coffee shop. 536 00:25:49,239 --> 00:25:51,074 You'd think she's just a regular person. 537 00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:54,578 Anyway, Dana wanted to send her some flowers to her office at Disney. 538 00:25:54,661 --> 00:25:56,538 So if you could shoot me her address. 539 00:25:56,622 --> 00:25:58,957 I don't think you need to do that. 540 00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:00,834 Well, I live by the Americana in Glendale. 541 00:26:00,918 --> 00:26:03,462 I could just go over and get a gift card and send it over. 542 00:26:03,545 --> 00:26:04,922 - How about that? - No, not necessary. 543 00:26:05,005 --> 00:26:07,966 I'll just pass on your enthusiasm. 544 00:26:08,050 --> 00:26:11,511 Larry! Larry, where are my sleep brassieres? 545 00:26:11,970 --> 00:26:13,764 How the fuck do I know? 546 00:26:15,015 --> 00:26:16,516 I owe you one. I really do. 547 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,393 If there's anything I can do for you… 548 00:26:18,477 --> 00:26:20,687 - Larry! - What? 549 00:26:22,064 --> 00:26:24,733 Never mind. They were in the hamper. They're not that dirty. 550 00:26:24,816 --> 00:26:27,277 If you need anything from me, you just say the word, okay? 551 00:26:27,903 --> 00:26:31,239 You know, now that you mention it, there actually is something you can do. 552 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:32,366 Yeah, say the word. 553 00:26:33,617 --> 00:26:39,081 According to your timeline, I have eight weeks left with Irma. 554 00:26:39,164 --> 00:26:45,170 I'm wondering if there's any possible way that we can move that up. 555 00:26:45,629 --> 00:26:49,424 Wait. You're saying you want to break up with her early? 556 00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,343 Yes, that's exactly what I mean. 557 00:26:51,426 --> 00:26:52,552 Is there any reason? 558 00:26:52,636 --> 00:26:55,305 Yeah, I hate her. That's the reason. How's that? 559 00:26:55,389 --> 00:26:56,932 Look, I don't know what to tell you. 560 00:26:57,015 --> 00:27:00,811 I'm: struggling here, Cyrus, and Sienna Miller is interested in me. 561 00:27:02,312 --> 00:27:03,897 - I'm not joking. - Really? 562 00:27:04,314 --> 00:27:06,024 When is this gonna happen again? Never. 563 00:27:06,108 --> 00:27:10,612 So come on. Help a brother out. Is there anything we can do? 564 00:27:10,695 --> 00:27:12,364 Larry, I appreciate everything you've done for us, 565 00:27:12,447 --> 00:27:15,450 but a breakup would just set her back, and I can't allow that to happen. 566 00:27:15,534 --> 00:27:17,911 Is that better than murder? Who benefits from murder? 567 00:27:17,994 --> 00:27:19,329 She's dead, and I'm in prison. 568 00:27:19,413 --> 00:27:21,706 Larry, I think you're saying a lot of things you don't mean right now. 569 00:27:21,790 --> 00:27:23,959 No, no, I mean it. Come on. There's got to be a way. 570 00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:27,963 If she were to break up with you, I guess that would be okay. 571 00:27:28,046 --> 00:27:29,172 Her idea? 572 00:27:29,256 --> 00:27:32,509 Then that would give her the power, give her her own agency. 573 00:27:32,592 --> 00:27:35,345 like it's gonna be her idea. On what planet? That's never gonna happen. 574 00:27:35,429 --> 00:27:37,556 I'm sorry. But thank you. 575 00:27:38,306 --> 00:27:41,017 Larry, where are my bunion splints? 576 00:27:41,101 --> 00:27:43,895 Today was amazing, though. 'Cause you know Penny? 577 00:27:43,979 --> 00:27:45,772 She's normally a chipmunk, Chip or Dale, 578 00:27:45,856 --> 00:27:48,233 and she's in, like, what we call fur all the time. 579 00:27:48,316 --> 00:27:51,236 She got to be Tinkerbell this week, and it was unbelievable, 580 00:27:51,319 --> 00:27:54,072 and we were so happy for her. And she was so good with the kids. 581 00:27:54,156 --> 00:27:56,324 And she was just having the best time ever, 582 00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:58,326 because she's never a face character. 583 00:27:58,410 --> 00:28:02,706 She's a little tall to be a pixie, but she was incredible. 584 00:28:02,789 --> 00:28:05,292 And we had a Peter Pan. Ian was being Peter Pan that day. 585 00:28:07,919 --> 00:28:09,462 - Welcome back, sir. - Thank you. 586 00:28:09,546 --> 00:28:11,923 I'd like a table for two by the aquarium. 587 00:28:12,007 --> 00:28:13,466 That table is reserved. 588 00:28:13,550 --> 00:28:15,886 But we have nice table over here by window. 589 00:28:15,969 --> 00:28:17,596 - It's reserved? - Yes. 590 00:28:17,971 --> 00:28:19,306 Okay, we'll go over there. 591 00:28:19,389 --> 00:28:22,559 - You follow me, sir. This way. - All right. Okay. 592 00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:34,738 Sir, can I help you? Excuse me, sir. 593 00:28:35,113 --> 00:28:36,781 Your table that way. 594 00:28:36,865 --> 00:28:40,076 Yeah, what happened to the orange fish that was stuck? 595 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,662 Fish sad, so we changed new location. 596 00:28:42,746 --> 00:28:44,664 Change of scenery make much happy fish. 597 00:28:44,748 --> 00:28:46,458 - So, you moved the fish? - Yes. 598 00:28:46,541 --> 00:28:49,127 Fish living best life in downtown. Very happy there. 599 00:28:49,210 --> 00:28:50,503 That was so nice of you. 600 00:28:50,587 --> 00:28:52,756 You can go visit your new friend, orange fish. 601 00:28:52,839 --> 00:28:55,050 I can handle the death of the fish. Just tell me. 602 00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:57,510 Fish fine. Fish thriving. 603 00:28:57,594 --> 00:28:59,930 No, no, fish stuck. Fish dead. 604 00:29:00,013 --> 00:29:02,474 No. Fish sick. Fish gone. 605 00:29:02,557 --> 00:29:06,686 - Stuck. Dead. - Sick, gone! 606 00:29:07,771 --> 00:29:12,317 - Fish not your problem anymore. - I will not forget fish. 607 00:29:15,195 --> 00:29:17,072 Okay, I bring your table some water. 608 00:29:17,864 --> 00:29:19,950 - How's your fish? - Fish dead. 609 00:29:20,951 --> 00:29:24,454 Listen to me. You should've heard Irma today at the AA meeting. 610 00:29:24,537 --> 00:29:27,040 You would've been blown away. She shared for a half hour. 611 00:29:27,123 --> 00:29:30,502 - Well, what did she say? - First of all, I would never tell you. 612 00:29:30,585 --> 00:29:32,712 In AA, there's principles, there's guidelines. 613 00:29:32,796 --> 00:29:36,549 So any wino in Santa Monica can hear what she's saying, but I can't? 614 00:29:36,633 --> 00:29:39,761 - AA is private, man. That's it. - I'm not gonna tell anybody. 615 00:29:39,844 --> 00:29:42,180 - I just won't do it. - But we're good friends. 616 00:29:42,263 --> 00:29:43,973 - I'm not telling you. - So you're not gonna tell me? 617 00:29:44,057 --> 00:29:47,352 - No. - Suppose I put you in my will? 618 00:29:47,435 --> 00:29:49,979 Her first husband, horrible accident, 619 00:29:50,063 --> 00:29:52,649 and she was with him 24/7, like a caregiver. 620 00:29:52,732 --> 00:29:54,859 - Was he in a wheelchair? - Worse. 621 00:29:54,943 --> 00:29:56,986 - Diapers? - He had diapers everywhere. 622 00:29:57,654 --> 00:30:00,657 He was like the fucking mummy. He lost some of his toes. 623 00:30:00,740 --> 00:30:03,284 His spine was sticking out. 624 00:30:03,368 --> 00:30:05,161 He couldn't move. He couldn't walk. 625 00:30:05,245 --> 00:30:07,163 And she started to drink more and more, 626 00:30:07,247 --> 00:30:09,124 and then she became an alcoholic over this. 627 00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:10,583 And then one day she woke up, she went, 628 00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:12,711 "You know, this is not the way I envisioned my life." 629 00:30:12,794 --> 00:30:14,295 So, she just left the guy high and dry. 630 00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:17,382 - She didn't want to take care of him? - She wanted to think about her life. 631 00:30:17,465 --> 00:30:19,801 Selfish. That's her husband. 632 00:30:19,884 --> 00:30:22,178 - She never wanted to see him again. - It was the diapers. 633 00:30:22,262 --> 00:30:25,765 She said she wasn't proud of it, but if the situation happened again, 634 00:30:26,433 --> 00:30:28,601 she would do the same thing. She would still split. 635 00:30:29,018 --> 00:30:32,564 She knows what she wants in life. Let me ask you something. 636 00:30:33,648 --> 00:30:35,733 How much were you thinking about leaving me? 637 00:30:36,317 --> 00:30:39,154 - No, nothing. Yeah. - What? 638 00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:41,948 It was a trick to get you to talk about it. Which you did. 639 00:30:42,031 --> 00:30:43,616 In three minutes, I lost all that money? 640 00:30:43,700 --> 00:30:47,412 That's all it took to get it out of you, your solemn AA oath? 641 00:30:47,495 --> 00:30:49,497 - They should kick you out of there. - I have weaknesses. 642 00:30:49,581 --> 00:30:51,791 - I got a good mind to squeal on you. - Let's eat. 643 00:31:04,888 --> 00:31:06,097 Hey, Larry. 644 00:31:06,514 --> 00:31:09,934 Oh my God. What's going on here? 645 00:31:10,018 --> 00:31:14,189 I was working late last night. I got kicked out of my house. 646 00:31:15,106 --> 00:31:17,942 - You got kicked out of your house? - Yeah, yeah. Come on in. 647 00:31:18,568 --> 00:31:21,321 - Did we have a meeting or something? - Why'd you get kicked out? 648 00:31:21,404 --> 00:31:25,783 Quite frankly, you stuck this thing in my head about naming babies, 649 00:31:25,867 --> 00:31:28,036 and we got in a big fight, and things were thrown, 650 00:31:28,119 --> 00:31:29,871 and you got in the middle of everything, 651 00:31:29,954 --> 00:31:32,457 and now we don't know what we're gonna name the baby. 652 00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:34,834 - So it's my fault. - You planted this thing in our head. 653 00:31:34,918 --> 00:31:36,169 And then you brought up semen. 654 00:31:36,252 --> 00:31:39,464 That's none of your business about what I do with my own semen. 655 00:31:39,547 --> 00:31:41,382 Are you telling me that if it's your semen, 656 00:31:41,466 --> 00:31:43,468 you shouldn't have the right to name the baby? 657 00:31:43,551 --> 00:31:45,970 But it's my business. I don't tell you what to do with your semen. 658 00:31:46,054 --> 00:31:47,472 What am I gonna do with semen? 659 00:31:47,555 --> 00:31:49,432 A normal man knows what to do with semen. 660 00:31:49,515 --> 00:31:53,144 I do normal things with semen. I wipe it up and throw it away. What else? 661 00:31:53,228 --> 00:31:55,939 Well, you could impregnate somebody else and have a baby. 662 00:31:56,022 --> 00:31:59,317 Okay. If I did do that and my partner's name was Papalopadopalous, 663 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,985 I would use David as the last name. 664 00:32:01,069 --> 00:32:02,820 That would be your prerogative. 665 00:32:02,904 --> 00:32:06,741 And I wouldn't come to you and say you should name it this or that. 666 00:32:06,824 --> 00:32:09,661 Yes, but you knew deep down that I was right. 667 00:32:09,744 --> 00:32:12,080 And that's why you brought it up. That's why you had a fight. 668 00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:14,165 That's why you got kicked out. Isn't that so? 669 00:32:14,749 --> 00:32:18,670 Larry, you're out of order. Let me name my own baby with my husband. 670 00:32:18,753 --> 00:32:19,921 End of story. 671 00:32:20,004 --> 00:32:22,256 I'm kind of surprised you're sloughing off the blame on me. 672 00:32:22,340 --> 00:32:24,676 And I'm equally surprised you won't accept the blame. 673 00:32:24,759 --> 00:32:28,596 I think I'm way more surprised than you about the sloughing of the blame. 674 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:32,392 And I'm really wildly surprised that you aren't accepting. 675 00:32:32,475 --> 00:32:36,938 I am so incredulous that you think I am more to blame than you. 676 00:32:37,021 --> 00:32:39,565 - What are you doing here, Larr? - Can I sue a temple? 677 00:32:40,149 --> 00:32:41,192 For what? 678 00:32:41,275 --> 00:32:43,486 There's a defamatory brick at that temple. 679 00:32:43,569 --> 00:32:45,071 - Yeah, I saw that. - You saw that? 680 00:32:45,446 --> 00:32:46,990 What was your reaction when you saw that? 681 00:32:47,073 --> 00:32:48,908 They can do anything they want. It's freedom of religion. 682 00:32:48,992 --> 00:32:50,243 Freedom of religion? 683 00:32:50,326 --> 00:32:51,869 You just go around calling people assholes, 684 00:32:51,953 --> 00:32:54,038 and you put it on a temple, that's not slander? 685 00:32:54,122 --> 00:32:56,082 Anything else I can help you with? 686 00:32:57,500 --> 00:32:59,627 How'd the filing go? Are we good? 687 00:33:03,047 --> 00:33:05,800 Oh God! Oh my God! 688 00:33:05,883 --> 00:33:09,929 - Wait a minute. Wait, wait! - Don't even say it. 689 00:33:10,012 --> 00:33:12,390 - I forgot to file it. - You forgot to file it? 690 00:33:12,473 --> 00:33:14,225 How could you forget to file it? 691 00:33:14,308 --> 00:33:16,602 I forgot to file it because of the shit you put me through, Larry! 692 00:33:16,686 --> 00:33:19,105 - It's my fault you forgot to file? - Yes! 693 00:33:19,188 --> 00:33:21,274 And if you accepted it, then this wouldn't have happened. 694 00:33:21,357 --> 00:33:22,942 Why did you get involved in my stuff? 695 00:33:23,025 --> 00:33:25,069 - Well, can you file it now? - No, I can't file it now. 696 00:33:25,153 --> 00:33:27,071 - It's past the deadline. - It's past the deadline? 697 00:33:27,155 --> 00:33:29,699 It's past the deadline. I missed it. 698 00:33:31,159 --> 00:33:32,702 Look, it's going to trial. 699 00:33:32,785 --> 00:33:35,788 - I can go to jail for a year! - We're gonna win the trial. 700 00:33:36,247 --> 00:33:39,041 I'm confident we're going to win. Don't worry about a thing, okay? 701 00:33:39,125 --> 00:33:40,710 I'm gonna make this priority. 702 00:33:41,335 --> 00:33:44,005 I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it anyway. 703 00:33:44,088 --> 00:33:45,131 What is it? 704 00:33:45,214 --> 00:33:47,049 I think a great compromise 705 00:33:48,593 --> 00:33:50,428 is Ziggy Zeckelman. 706 00:33:50,511 --> 00:33:55,766 Can you leave please? Do you want to win this trial? 707 00:33:55,850 --> 00:33:57,727 - Yes. - Stop naming my baby. 708 00:33:59,645 --> 00:34:00,813 Okay. 709 00:34:01,564 --> 00:34:03,149 And you didn't like Foots? 710 00:34:14,577 --> 00:34:16,287 Tell me you got something good. 711 00:34:16,746 --> 00:34:18,581 - I got the goods. - Yeah? 712 00:34:19,165 --> 00:34:22,126 Got something that's gonna get us out of this mess. 713 00:34:22,210 --> 00:34:23,920 All right, I'm all ears. 714 00:34:24,003 --> 00:34:28,007 By the way, the fish is dead. FYI. 715 00:34:28,090 --> 00:34:29,634 - Yeah? - Yeah. 716 00:34:30,301 --> 00:34:31,761 You know, in a weird way, 717 00:34:34,055 --> 00:34:36,849 I kind of feel like me and you are that little fish. 718 00:34:37,308 --> 00:34:41,270 We just want to swim and enjoy our day, but we're stuck in that filter. 719 00:34:41,896 --> 00:34:44,148 That's true. We're like the fish. 720 00:34:44,232 --> 00:34:45,483 We're stuck fish. 721 00:34:45,566 --> 00:34:48,778 Squirming, screaming for help, but trapped. 722 00:34:49,153 --> 00:34:51,155 Not sick. Stuck. 723 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:52,323 Just stuck. 724 00:34:52,406 --> 00:34:55,201 But if you stay stuck too long, you're gonna get sick, 725 00:34:55,284 --> 00:34:57,370 and then you're gonna die. 726 00:34:57,453 --> 00:35:02,792 Maybe in some small way the fish lives on through us being free. 727 00:35:03,584 --> 00:35:05,711 Guess what? We're getting out of that filter. 728 00:35:05,795 --> 00:35:08,339 - Are you ready? - Can you make us unstuck? 729 00:35:08,422 --> 00:35:10,633 Oh yeah. So here's the deal. 730 00:35:16,722 --> 00:35:18,349 I've got something to tell you. 731 00:35:21,727 --> 00:35:24,188 I got something that I got to tell you. 732 00:35:24,855 --> 00:35:26,273 What, Freddy? 733 00:35:26,357 --> 00:35:27,692 It's medical. 734 00:35:31,112 --> 00:35:33,239 It's a medical thing, and it's getting worse. 735 00:35:34,615 --> 00:35:35,866 Don't do that. 736 00:35:36,242 --> 00:35:37,910 Freddy, your hand. 737 00:35:37,994 --> 00:35:40,663 It's called Groat's disease. 738 00:35:40,746 --> 00:35:42,123 I have Groat's disease. 739 00:35:42,623 --> 00:35:44,625 It affects the nervous system 740 00:35:44,709 --> 00:35:49,130 and eventually I become incontinent, and you can't even sit. 741 00:35:49,213 --> 00:35:51,465 The shaking is the tip of the iceberg. 742 00:35:51,549 --> 00:35:55,928 I have to sleep on my knees, and I need 24-hour care. 743 00:35:56,012 --> 00:35:58,389 And you'll have to hold my penis when I pee. 744 00:36:04,270 --> 00:36:06,564 I just can't. 745 00:36:06,647 --> 00:36:08,816 The stents and the shunts and the ports, 746 00:36:08,899 --> 00:36:10,818 and I hear the word hospice… 747 00:36:10,901 --> 00:36:14,196 - I can't. - I'm distraught, but I understand. 748 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,700 - I'm so glad you do. - Go live your beautiful life. 749 00:36:17,783 --> 00:36:21,162 Thank you. I can't. I just couldn't do it again, you know? 750 00:36:21,245 --> 00:36:25,624 Okay, okay. So take off. Yeah, you should go. 751 00:36:25,708 --> 00:36:28,127 Oh, you know what? I really like that scarf. 752 00:36:28,210 --> 00:36:30,880 - What, this? - I's got a button, and it heats up? 753 00:36:30,963 --> 00:36:32,757 - It keeps your neck warm. - You like it? 754 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,009 - Yeah, it's nice. - Please, take it. 755 00:36:35,092 --> 00:36:38,137 - Please, no. - You got to charge it. 756 00:36:38,220 --> 00:36:41,056 - What? Really? Oh my gosh. - It's the least I can do. 757 00:36:41,140 --> 00:36:44,852 You press the little button there. Yeah, that's gonna comfort you. 758 00:36:44,935 --> 00:36:48,939 Keep your thyroid warm. I feel so bad, but… 759 00:36:50,191 --> 00:36:53,194 - Yeah, so go. - Anal leak… I can't do it. 760 00:36:53,277 --> 00:36:59,450 I'm sorry. It's latex gloves. It's secretions. It's anal leakage. 761 00:36:59,533 --> 00:37:03,579 - Yeah, just go. - You're better off without me. Sorry. 762 00:37:03,662 --> 00:37:08,334 Yeah, get the hell out of here. Go! Please, go! 763 00:37:08,417 --> 00:37:12,755 Go. Going. Going! 764 00:37:13,881 --> 00:37:16,258 Gone! 765 00:37:19,970 --> 00:37:22,389 Yeah! 766 00:37:26,018 --> 00:37:29,813 I have a structured settlement, and I need cash now, 767 00:37:29,897 --> 00:37:33,901 Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW! 768 00:37:42,993 --> 00:37:46,830 Hello there. Welcome to the most magical store at the mall. 769 00:37:47,289 --> 00:37:52,545 Goodbye. They can't order you to stop dreaming. Thank you. 770 00:37:52,628 --> 00:37:54,922 - Hello, princess! - Hi, sweetheart. 771 00:37:55,005 --> 00:37:57,925 Do you have the Mickey Mouse oven gloves? 772 00:37:58,008 --> 00:38:01,470 You put your hands in the mitts, and then he's got his little hands on… 773 00:38:01,553 --> 00:38:03,013 I'm not sure. Do you want me to check? 774 00:38:03,097 --> 00:38:06,100 That'd be good. I just left mine at my boyfriend's house. 775 00:38:06,183 --> 00:38:08,560 We just broke up, and I don't want to go back there. 776 00:38:08,644 --> 00:38:10,312 I'm so sorry to hear that. 777 00:38:10,396 --> 00:38:14,441 Well, it seems we're both the same. My happily ever after has ended, too. 778 00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:16,819 - Sucks, right? - It's awful. 779 00:38:16,902 --> 00:38:18,487 Well, mine was sick. 780 00:38:18,570 --> 00:38:21,699 Well, my Prince Charming was sick. What a small world. 781 00:38:21,782 --> 00:38:22,992 Yeah. It's a small world. 782 00:38:23,075 --> 00:38:26,453 I don't want to go through the thing with the degenerative disease he had. 783 00:38:26,537 --> 00:38:30,040 I didn't want to stay by. I'm too young to deal with all that. 784 00:38:30,124 --> 00:38:32,293 It's a terrible thing, this Groat's disease. 785 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:34,920 Wait, what? Did you say Groat's disease? 786 00:38:35,004 --> 00:38:38,632 That's what my boyfriend, Freddy, that's what he has. Groat's disease. 787 00:38:38,716 --> 00:38:40,884 - What? Freddy? - Yeah. 788 00:38:41,218 --> 00:38:43,637 - Freddy who? - Freddy Funkhauser. 789 00:38:44,596 --> 00:38:45,764 Larry David. 790 00:38:46,098 --> 00:38:48,517 Are you fucking kidding me? 791 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,895 - Can we get some lunch, please? - I want a sandwich or something. 792 00:38:51,979 --> 00:38:55,607 - They lied to us. - Oh my God. 793 00:38:55,691 --> 00:38:59,194 - Jenna? - Hey. Dana. Hello! 794 00:39:00,696 --> 00:39:02,948 You work at the Disney store? 795 00:39:03,032 --> 00:39:04,283 Yeah, I work here. 796 00:39:04,742 --> 00:39:07,411 Then why did you give me notes on my script? 797 00:39:07,494 --> 00:39:08,746 'Cause Larry David asked me to. 798 00:39:08,829 --> 00:39:12,124 I used them. I got kicked out of my writers' group. 799 00:39:12,708 --> 00:39:15,085 - Bastards. - Larry David. 800 00:39:15,544 --> 00:39:17,337 Larry fucking David. 801 00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:19,465 Those fucking pricks.