1 00:00:15,046 --> 00:00:18,049 Yeah, that's it. That's the spot. That's good. 2 00:00:18,132 --> 00:00:21,844 Cheryl tight same spot. Only Chunhua can fix. 3 00:00:22,679 --> 00:00:23,930 I hope so. 4 00:00:24,013 --> 00:00:29,143 Cheryl so nice. She's so pretty. Cheryl too good for you! 5 00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:34,816 And Ted Danson. He's handsome and flexible. 6 00:00:34,899 --> 00:00:38,695 - Really? - Yes. Don't be jealous! 7 00:00:39,654 --> 00:00:42,532 You brittle like wood! You are so skinny. 8 00:00:42,615 --> 00:00:45,493 - Why you no eat? - I eat. I eat plenty. 9 00:00:45,576 --> 00:00:47,787 Your skin so dry. You drink water? 10 00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:50,289 - Yeah, I drink water. - Not enough! 11 00:00:55,169 --> 00:00:58,339 That's good. I like that. That's nice. 12 00:00:58,423 --> 00:00:59,549 Finish! 13 00:01:00,925 --> 00:01:04,387 That's it? What about this? You're done? 14 00:01:05,888 --> 00:01:08,016 You want happy ending? 15 00:01:08,099 --> 00:01:09,517 No, I don't… 16 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,937 You've only done 35 minutes. I paid for an hour. 17 00:01:13,021 --> 00:01:14,230 No, no, no! 18 00:01:14,313 --> 00:01:16,858 - I don't want a happy ending! - No! No, no happy ending! 19 00:01:16,941 --> 00:01:18,860 I don't want a happy ending! I just want an ending! 20 00:01:18,943 --> 00:01:21,529 - I no happy ending! - Are you nuts? What are you doing? 21 00:01:21,612 --> 00:01:22,947 You mess with wrong person. 22 00:01:26,576 --> 00:01:28,286 The woman's out of her mind. 23 00:01:28,369 --> 00:01:31,539 That's all I said. "That's it?" She gave me 35 minutes. 24 00:01:31,622 --> 00:01:34,459 And the whole massage she's going, "you too skinny". 25 00:01:34,542 --> 00:01:36,377 "You need to eat. You have bad skin." 26 00:01:36,461 --> 00:01:38,921 So she's insulting you the whole time. 27 00:01:39,005 --> 00:01:42,091 And then she threatens me at the end for something I didn't even do. 28 00:01:42,175 --> 00:01:43,217 That's scary shit. 29 00:01:43,968 --> 00:01:46,596 I'm a little nervous. She's kind of off her rocker. 30 00:01:46,679 --> 00:01:49,140 You know what? Cheryl was always talking about her, 31 00:01:49,223 --> 00:01:51,851 but I never used her. I had a hunch about her. 32 00:01:51,934 --> 00:01:53,895 If you had a hunch, why didn't you say something? 33 00:01:53,978 --> 00:01:56,773 Well, a hunch can be wrong, so I keep my hunches to myself. 34 00:01:56,856 --> 00:01:58,900 No. A hunch is something that's shared. 35 00:01:58,983 --> 00:02:00,735 Otherwise, it's just a thought in your head. 36 00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:02,945 A hunch is like a sneeze, gotta let that shit out. 37 00:02:03,029 --> 00:02:04,489 Exactly. Eleanor Roosevelt. 38 00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:06,532 What if she had a hunch about Pearl Harbor? 39 00:02:06,616 --> 00:02:09,160 Is she supposed to keep that to herself, or should she tell her husband? 40 00:02:09,243 --> 00:02:13,122 "Franklin, I have a very bad feeling that something awful" 41 00:02:13,206 --> 00:02:15,792 "is going to happen at Pearl Harbor tomorrow." 42 00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,418 "You must get the ships out." 43 00:02:17,502 --> 00:02:19,712 Could you imagine if she told Franklin the day after? 44 00:02:19,796 --> 00:02:21,297 "Franklin, I had a hunch about that." 45 00:02:21,380 --> 00:02:25,176 "Eleanor, you stupid twat. Why didn't you say something?" 46 00:02:25,259 --> 00:02:27,637 - You're rewriting history. - You had no hunch. 47 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:31,182 You didn't have no fucking hunch. Your fucking shoulders didn't go up. 48 00:02:31,265 --> 00:02:33,726 And that mannerism is only good for hunches and shit. 49 00:02:33,809 --> 00:02:36,687 I had a hunch. You can't use that shit for "Fuck you." 50 00:02:36,771 --> 00:02:39,982 "You cheated on me. You ain't shit. Don't come back here no more." 51 00:02:40,066 --> 00:02:42,026 - It's exclusive to the hunch? - Fuck yeah, it is. 52 00:02:42,109 --> 00:02:44,237 You don't use that shit nowhere else. 53 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,405 How's everything tasting over here? I'm the owner. 54 00:02:46,489 --> 00:02:48,574 - Great salad. - Are you Ollie or Al? 55 00:02:48,658 --> 00:02:51,452 Actually, those are made up deli owner characters. 56 00:02:51,536 --> 00:02:52,745 My name is Lorenzo. 57 00:02:53,871 --> 00:02:56,082 Let me know if you need anything, huh? 58 00:02:56,165 --> 00:02:58,334 These fucking berries are fucking delicious. You know what they say, 59 00:02:58,417 --> 00:03:00,044 the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice. 60 00:03:00,127 --> 00:03:01,212 What do they say? 61 00:03:01,295 --> 00:03:04,757 Darker the berry, meaning the darker you are, the sweeter your juice is. 62 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:05,883 What? 63 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:09,095 If a cannibal ate me, he'd say "Wow, this motherfucker's delicious." 64 00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:12,139 You're saying that cannibals prefer Black people to White people? 65 00:03:12,223 --> 00:03:13,391 Fuck yeah, they do. 66 00:03:13,474 --> 00:03:17,311 I think he's got a point, 'cause Dahmer mostly ate Black people, did he not? 67 00:03:17,395 --> 00:03:21,107 He did. If the motherfucker did, he'd have to add condiments on you. 68 00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:24,527 Yeah, you need condiments for White people. 69 00:03:26,112 --> 00:03:29,865 I got some great news. I got a call from Bruce Springsteen's manager. 70 00:03:29,949 --> 00:03:33,619 Bruce Springsteen is coming to town on his farewell tour, 71 00:03:33,703 --> 00:03:36,497 and he wants to meet you. 72 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,249 - He wants to meet me? - Yeah. 73 00:03:38,666 --> 00:03:40,293 - What? - Yeah. 74 00:03:40,876 --> 00:03:43,963 He was really moved by you taking on that voter law. 75 00:03:44,046 --> 00:03:45,756 - Get the hell out of here. - Are you good with that? 76 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,134 - Yeah. - It's exciting. I'll call his manager. 77 00:03:48,676 --> 00:03:50,344 - Fantastic. - The Boss. 78 00:04:11,824 --> 00:04:13,492 Hey, what if I walked like this? 79 00:04:13,576 --> 00:04:15,995 You start walking like that, they got to give you your own fucking lane. 80 00:04:16,078 --> 00:04:17,955 That way it won't throw regular motherfuckers off. 81 00:04:18,039 --> 00:04:21,042 This is, like, good exercise. And I'm making progress. 82 00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:23,502 I like that shit. You're moving along, people see it, 83 00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:24,920 everybody'll start doing it. 84 00:04:25,004 --> 00:04:27,506 And then they'll add you to the evolution of man chart. 85 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:30,384 Like motherfuckers who walk normal, and then all of a sudden at the end, 86 00:04:30,468 --> 00:04:32,595 like, modern day motherfuckers walk like this. 87 00:04:32,678 --> 00:04:34,555 You go down in history. 88 00:04:35,139 --> 00:04:38,392 Shit. Let's get the fuck out of here. Fuck you doing, man? 89 00:04:38,476 --> 00:04:41,103 - Trying to get the zipper up. - Do that shit in the car, man. 90 00:04:41,187 --> 00:04:43,355 - It's easier to do it standing. - You got to jiggle it. 91 00:04:43,439 --> 00:04:45,357 - Yeah, I'm jiggling. - You ain't jiggling right. 92 00:04:45,441 --> 00:04:48,235 - What is it with these zippers? - You're not a good jiggler. 93 00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:49,695 Larry. 94 00:04:49,779 --> 00:04:51,614 - Hey, Les. - How's it going? 95 00:04:51,697 --> 00:04:54,283 I can't get this zipper up here, but whatever. 96 00:04:54,366 --> 00:04:56,327 I haven't seen you since Young Larry. 97 00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:58,871 Leon, this is Les McCrabb. 98 00:04:58,954 --> 00:05:01,582 He directed two of the Young Larry episodes. 99 00:05:01,665 --> 00:05:02,750 My man. 100 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:05,419 My episodes have had tremendous feedback. 101 00:05:05,503 --> 00:05:08,547 People have been saying they don't look like any of the other episodes. 102 00:05:08,631 --> 00:05:11,592 Yeah, they did have a distinctive look. 103 00:05:11,675 --> 00:05:15,054 I only ended up doing the two episodes, but I'd love to do some more. 104 00:05:17,056 --> 00:05:19,767 Between you and I, I think I'm gonna be busy anyway. 105 00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:23,062 I'm in talks about this Waze app feature. 106 00:05:23,145 --> 00:05:25,689 - A movie based on the Waze app? - Yeah. 107 00:05:25,773 --> 00:05:29,527 Ron Howard's people. A guy called Jeff Donat. 108 00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:32,238 - Jeff Donat? - Jeff Donat. 109 00:05:32,321 --> 00:05:34,573 Yes, he's in charge of the whole thing. Do you know him? 110 00:05:34,657 --> 00:05:36,158 Don't think so. No. 111 00:05:36,242 --> 00:05:38,828 I'm told he's way up there. He works with Ken Puffin. 112 00:05:38,911 --> 00:05:40,621 - Nice. - Sounds like a good idea? 113 00:05:40,704 --> 00:05:41,914 No. Not really. 114 00:05:41,997 --> 00:05:45,501 What I do want to talk about is my manuscript. 115 00:05:47,628 --> 00:05:48,963 Hang A Lantern On It. 116 00:05:49,046 --> 00:05:52,341 - Did you like it? - I loved it. 117 00:05:52,424 --> 00:05:53,884 Which bit did you like the best? 118 00:05:53,968 --> 00:05:56,679 Oh my God, there's so many. 119 00:05:56,762 --> 00:05:58,347 We need to talk about it, 120 00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,933 because I need your opinions before it goes to the publishers. 121 00:06:01,016 --> 00:06:03,519 So it'd be great if you could give me any ideas that you have. 122 00:06:03,602 --> 00:06:06,188 We'll discuss the book. It's great. It really is. 123 00:06:06,272 --> 00:06:08,315 Well, we could now. I mean, there's a seat here. 124 00:06:08,399 --> 00:06:12,987 I can't do it now. I got to take my friend. 125 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:16,198 He's getting a shingles vaccine. We're kind of late. 126 00:06:16,282 --> 00:06:19,118 - Does he have shingles? - No, no, it's to prevent the shingles. 127 00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:21,412 It's just recommended. You should get one, too. 128 00:06:21,495 --> 00:06:24,707 Well, you should get one. You know what shingles means? 129 00:06:24,790 --> 00:06:26,834 - It's herpes. - What the fuck? 130 00:06:26,917 --> 00:06:28,919 And you've been sat in the car with him? 131 00:06:29,003 --> 00:06:31,463 - He doesn't have it. - I wouldn't get back in that car. 132 00:06:31,547 --> 00:06:33,549 - Wait a fucking minute. - It can kill men your age. 133 00:06:33,632 --> 00:06:34,800 Food for thought. 134 00:06:34,883 --> 00:06:37,094 Time is of the essence with this book. 135 00:06:37,177 --> 00:06:40,097 I'm about to go away, and where I'm going, there's no mobile phone, 136 00:06:40,180 --> 00:06:41,599 so I'll be off the grid, as they say. 137 00:06:41,682 --> 00:06:43,350 - Where are you going? - A yoga retreat. 138 00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:46,770 I plan to get a complete clear out. Have you had a complete clear out? 139 00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:48,063 No. What is a clear out? 140 00:06:48,147 --> 00:06:50,024 Let's just say it's a very delicate matter 141 00:06:50,107 --> 00:06:52,276 where nothing is left to the imagination. 142 00:06:52,359 --> 00:06:53,485 I'm imagining. 143 00:06:53,569 --> 00:06:56,947 There's an old saying at home: "Every hole is a goal." 144 00:06:57,031 --> 00:07:00,117 Do you want a hand with this zipper? Hold this. 145 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,328 What? You don't really have to. Les! 146 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,955 - You got to jiggle that shit. - There we go. 147 00:07:06,498 --> 00:07:09,126 - There we are. - Good job there, Les. 148 00:07:09,209 --> 00:07:11,754 Don't forget to call me. I'm only here for a week. 149 00:07:11,837 --> 00:07:13,505 - Motherfucker. - Absolutely. I'll call you. 150 00:07:13,589 --> 00:07:15,758 Hey, go fuck yourself, Crabby. Jeez. 151 00:07:15,841 --> 00:07:17,801 That's the last guy in the world I wanted to run into. 152 00:07:17,885 --> 00:07:18,969 What was that, man? 153 00:07:19,053 --> 00:07:22,264 He's the worst director we ever had. I'd never hire him again. 154 00:07:22,348 --> 00:07:25,059 I didn't read his book. But you know what? Now I have to. 155 00:07:25,142 --> 00:07:27,353 If you weren't spending so much time on the zipper, 156 00:07:27,436 --> 00:07:29,146 we would've been fucking out of here by now. 157 00:07:29,229 --> 00:07:31,315 The zipper delayed me. I never would've run into him. 158 00:07:31,398 --> 00:07:35,736 And being feeble didn't allow you to fucking get that zipper back on track. 159 00:07:35,819 --> 00:07:39,448 Wait a second. So you're saying that I couldn't get that zipper up 160 00:07:39,531 --> 00:07:41,283 because I'm enfeebled? 161 00:07:41,366 --> 00:07:43,494 Feeble motherfuckers don't even know they fucking feeble. 162 00:07:43,577 --> 00:07:44,703 You know what? 163 00:07:44,787 --> 00:07:47,331 When we get back to the house, you're gonna put this sweater on. 164 00:07:47,414 --> 00:07:48,957 I want to see you put that zipper up. 165 00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:51,919 I'll zip it up. You know how many times I've had to throw pants on real quick? 166 00:07:52,002 --> 00:07:54,755 And the lady's husband shows up or her boyfriend shows up, 167 00:07:54,838 --> 00:07:56,840 I got to put that motherfucker on quick. I never derail. 168 00:07:56,924 --> 00:07:59,051 You got zipper karma. You fuck with the zipper, 169 00:07:59,134 --> 00:08:00,511 and the zipper fuck with you. 170 00:08:01,261 --> 00:08:03,013 Can't believe I got to read that book now. 171 00:08:08,102 --> 00:08:10,687 Okay. You must be Larry's new lawyer, huh? 172 00:08:11,105 --> 00:08:12,314 I'm Sibby Sanders. 173 00:08:12,397 --> 00:08:15,567 Hey, Sibby. Good to meet you. My name's Leon Black. 174 00:08:15,651 --> 00:08:18,153 - Hi, Leon. - I like that lipstick you got on. 175 00:08:18,237 --> 00:08:19,321 Thank you. 176 00:08:19,404 --> 00:08:21,240 That shit's beautiful on your mouth. 177 00:08:21,824 --> 00:08:24,118 - What's it called? - It's called "don't go there". 178 00:08:24,201 --> 00:08:26,995 Okay. I see what's up. 179 00:08:27,538 --> 00:08:30,165 - You need anything? - No, I'm good. Thank you. 180 00:08:30,249 --> 00:08:32,584 Let me ask you a question. In that bungalow I got back there, 181 00:08:32,668 --> 00:08:35,212 I had a lot of hit and runs. You know what I'm saying? 182 00:08:35,295 --> 00:08:37,130 So if you ever want to get in an accident, 183 00:08:37,214 --> 00:08:40,050 that could be T-boned, sideswiped, 184 00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:43,053 head on, or rear ended. You feel me? 185 00:08:44,930 --> 00:08:48,642 Well, look at you. You look great. 186 00:08:48,725 --> 00:08:52,896 Really? It's not me. The jury's not gonna buy this. 187 00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:55,941 They're gonna see through this act. I feel like a phony. 188 00:08:56,024 --> 00:08:57,776 - How does he look? - Like a mortician. 189 00:08:57,860 --> 00:09:00,237 - Like you about to bury someone. - Don't listen to him, Larry. 190 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,405 So you guys have met? 191 00:09:01,488 --> 00:09:03,699 You ever have hot chocolate in the house again, you let me know. 192 00:09:03,782 --> 00:09:06,535 We got a little pending hit and run case we're working on. 193 00:09:06,618 --> 00:09:08,954 Get the fuck out of here. Get lost. 194 00:09:09,037 --> 00:09:10,789 - See you later. - He lives here? 195 00:09:10,873 --> 00:09:12,124 Yeah. I'm so sorry. 196 00:09:12,207 --> 00:09:14,293 I don't know what he said, but I'm sure it wasn't pleasant. 197 00:09:14,376 --> 00:09:17,087 I'm used to it. It's okay. So, the trial is in a few weeks, 198 00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:20,591 and it's gonna be more about you and how you're perceived than the facts. 199 00:09:20,674 --> 00:09:22,467 The facts are indisputable. You gave her the water. 200 00:09:22,551 --> 00:09:24,344 So it's gonna come down to the jury saying, 201 00:09:24,428 --> 00:09:26,847 do we like Larry or do we not like Larry? 202 00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:29,683 Well, if it's coming down to that, it's no contest. 203 00:09:29,766 --> 00:09:32,019 That's right. Not in that suit. 204 00:09:32,561 --> 00:09:35,188 - Leon, will you get that? - I got it! 205 00:09:35,272 --> 00:09:38,525 And in terms of being likable, you know what my mother used to say? 206 00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:40,736 "What's not to like?" 207 00:09:40,819 --> 00:09:43,697 Larry, did you ask my masseuse for a hand job? 208 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,198 - What? - Shit! 209 00:09:45,282 --> 00:09:47,242 - No! - She's not a sex worker. 210 00:09:47,326 --> 00:09:49,286 She's a masseuse. She's a professional woman. 211 00:09:49,369 --> 00:09:51,872 - Never did that. No. - Is this true? 212 00:09:51,955 --> 00:09:55,751 I didn't do that, okay? I didn't do that, Cheryl! 213 00:09:56,501 --> 00:09:59,296 Larry, don't talk to her like that. That's a woman right there. 214 00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:01,632 That's my ex-wife. That's not a woman. 215 00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:04,843 - By the way, I'm Cheryl. - Sibby Sanders. I'm his lawyer. 216 00:10:05,636 --> 00:10:08,472 - Good luck. - This is a misunderstanding. 217 00:10:08,847 --> 00:10:12,768 She gave me a massage, and then she stopped after 35 minutes, 218 00:10:12,851 --> 00:10:16,146 and I went, "That's it?" And she misinterpreted it. 219 00:10:16,229 --> 00:10:20,359 True or not true, this is an ugly accusation at the worst possible time. 220 00:10:20,442 --> 00:10:23,570 You got to fix this. You got to handle this before the trial. 221 00:10:23,653 --> 00:10:25,447 She is very upset, Larry. 222 00:10:27,282 --> 00:10:28,992 Maybe I should go over there and talk to her 223 00:10:29,076 --> 00:10:31,536 and make sure she's even qualified to be giving hand jobs to people. 224 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:33,705 I don't think that's necessary. 225 00:10:34,748 --> 00:10:36,541 Does she like Bruce Springsteen? 226 00:10:36,958 --> 00:10:40,253 Who doesn't like Bruce Springsteen? I can ask her. 227 00:10:40,337 --> 00:10:43,840 I'm seeing him tomorrow. I could introduce her to him, maybe. 228 00:10:43,924 --> 00:10:45,759 Why are you seeing Bruce Springsteen? 229 00:10:45,842 --> 00:10:48,595 He wants to meet me because of Atlanta. 230 00:10:48,678 --> 00:10:51,014 So you're gonna introduce her to Bruce? 231 00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,307 I'll try. 232 00:10:52,391 --> 00:10:56,144 That would be big. That would be really nice. 233 00:10:56,228 --> 00:10:57,521 And hopefully that'll fix it. 234 00:10:57,604 --> 00:10:59,272 And if Chunhua's gon' be there, 235 00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:02,651 then maybe Bruce Springsteen would like a hand job. 236 00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:20,127 Oh my God. 237 00:11:22,337 --> 00:11:25,048 He changed his rating from a C to an A. 238 00:11:25,132 --> 00:11:27,634 You're kidding me? And you saw him do it? 239 00:11:27,717 --> 00:11:28,802 I saw him do it. 240 00:11:28,885 --> 00:11:32,097 He should've said B. If he said B, it's not that far from A. 241 00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:34,266 - You'd eat in a B? - Yeah. 242 00:11:34,349 --> 00:11:35,851 Springsteen eats at a B. 243 00:11:35,934 --> 00:11:39,146 I'm shocked. I got to tell you, I'm completely shocked. 244 00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:42,232 A B is not that bad. I've eaten at a thousand and one Bs. 245 00:11:42,315 --> 00:11:44,234 I'm eating here. I don't even know what this is. 246 00:11:44,317 --> 00:11:45,569 What's the rating on this dump? 247 00:11:45,652 --> 00:11:47,654 Bruce, my house is an "A-plus". Trust me. 248 00:11:47,737 --> 00:11:49,447 You know what I'm thinking? 249 00:11:49,531 --> 00:11:51,908 I'm thinking I should call the health department on this restaurant. 250 00:11:51,992 --> 00:11:53,869 No, don't get involved. 251 00:11:53,952 --> 00:11:56,121 Why? Is that squealing? I don't even think that's squealing. 252 00:11:56,204 --> 00:11:59,624 I don't know if it's full-tilt squealing, but it's squeal-ish. 253 00:11:59,708 --> 00:12:02,878 You could be eating in that restaurant, getting sick and dying 254 00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:05,088 because it's a C. I could've saved your life. 255 00:12:05,171 --> 00:12:09,009 I know one thing about Larry David. Larry David is a man that gets involved. 256 00:12:09,092 --> 00:12:10,802 Thank you, Boss. May I call you Boss? 257 00:12:10,886 --> 00:12:12,345 Yeah. Sure, sure. 258 00:12:12,429 --> 00:12:16,141 Hey, the thing in Georgia, the balls it took to put yourself in that situation. 259 00:12:16,224 --> 00:12:19,769 I told myself, "I want to meet Larry David. This guy is a hero of mine." 260 00:12:19,853 --> 00:12:20,979 Thank you. 261 00:12:21,062 --> 00:12:23,857 He knew the woman. It didn't take a whole lot of balls, really. 262 00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:26,735 The woman in Atlanta? That you gave the water to? 263 00:12:26,818 --> 00:12:29,821 Why don't you mind your own fucking business? Who cares? 264 00:12:29,905 --> 00:12:31,573 - It's just a fact. - Talk about squealing. 265 00:12:31,656 --> 00:12:33,617 I still know I'm getting arrested. I gave her the water. 266 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,201 You knew you were gonna be arrested? 267 00:12:35,285 --> 00:12:38,330 - Well, I knew it was against the law. - And you didn't care. 268 00:12:39,956 --> 00:12:43,335 Les McCrabb. This guy sent me a manuscript of his book. 269 00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:46,880 He asked me if I read it. I said I did, I loved it, and now he's calling me 270 00:12:46,963 --> 00:12:49,382 to have an in-depth conversation about it. 271 00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:53,678 Same thing happened to me. This musician gave me a demo of a band 272 00:12:53,762 --> 00:12:56,222 that he liked and thought could go somewhere. 273 00:12:56,306 --> 00:12:58,600 After putting it on for two seconds, I took it off. 274 00:12:58,683 --> 00:13:01,061 - I never listened to the rest of it. - Who was this? 275 00:13:01,144 --> 00:13:05,774 - I don't want to say. We're friends. - You could tell me. Boss, come on. 276 00:13:05,857 --> 00:13:07,651 It was Don Henley. 277 00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:11,321 And now, I'm self-conscious if I get a phone call from him 278 00:13:11,404 --> 00:13:12,822 or if I see him somewhere. 279 00:13:12,906 --> 00:13:15,075 I would avoid him for the rest of my life. 280 00:13:15,158 --> 00:13:20,080 That's the situation you've got yourself into with Mr. McCrabb. 281 00:13:20,914 --> 00:13:22,999 That is great news. 282 00:13:24,459 --> 00:13:26,961 Farewell tour completely sold out. 283 00:13:28,963 --> 00:13:32,175 - Congratulations. That's great. - Thank you very much. 284 00:13:32,258 --> 00:13:34,427 Larry, good to see you again. 285 00:13:34,511 --> 00:13:36,846 - Again? - I'm sorry. I do this all the time. 286 00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:40,642 I forget that I haven't told people. It's been like 20, 25 years. 287 00:13:40,725 --> 00:13:43,853 I used to work at Universal when you were at Seinfeld, 288 00:13:43,937 --> 00:13:48,233 and I used to be Kendra, and now I'm Ken. 289 00:13:48,316 --> 00:13:50,402 Remember, Kendra? 290 00:13:53,446 --> 00:13:56,324 - Kendra Morris? - Yeah. 291 00:13:59,202 --> 00:14:02,705 I don't know if you guys know this, but Larry and I used to hook up. 292 00:14:03,289 --> 00:14:06,459 Let's just say it. It's no big deal. 293 00:14:06,543 --> 00:14:08,545 Sure, when you were Kendra. 294 00:14:08,628 --> 00:14:11,756 - We had some great times. - Yeah. Good times. 295 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,717 It's crazy you guys haven't seen each other in so long. 296 00:14:14,801 --> 00:14:17,470 Wait a second. That's my water. 297 00:14:17,554 --> 00:14:20,098 - I don't think so. - I'm 100% positive that's mine. 298 00:14:20,181 --> 00:14:23,143 I follow my water like it's a three-card monte game. 299 00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:26,521 I put my water down where I can comfortably reach it. 300 00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:31,109 But as you can see, it's within my hash marks. 301 00:14:31,192 --> 00:14:34,404 - It's in your hash marks? - Within my hash marks. 302 00:14:34,487 --> 00:14:36,948 All right, got it. This one's fine. I'm fine. 303 00:14:37,407 --> 00:14:39,659 It's so good to see you, Larry. 304 00:14:39,742 --> 00:14:42,662 It is crazy how long it's been since we've seen each other. 305 00:14:42,745 --> 00:14:44,664 - You look great. - That's so nice. 306 00:14:44,747 --> 00:14:45,999 Still a sexy beast. 307 00:14:46,082 --> 00:14:49,210 Look at you. Doesn't he look great, you guys? 308 00:14:49,294 --> 00:14:51,754 You've changed quite a lot. 309 00:14:52,881 --> 00:14:56,009 Some people say that I'm as hot as a man as I was a woman. 310 00:14:57,051 --> 00:14:59,095 This guy. We had this little thing. 311 00:14:59,179 --> 00:15:01,598 I don't know what it was. Larry would come over to my place… 312 00:15:01,681 --> 00:15:05,143 Nobody's interested in reminiscing and going over this stuff, 313 00:15:05,226 --> 00:15:06,895 it's boring, really. 314 00:15:06,978 --> 00:15:08,855 - It's not boring. - I'm interested. 315 00:15:08,938 --> 00:15:10,523 I want to hear a little more about this. 316 00:15:10,607 --> 00:15:13,318 You'd come over, and every time we were intimate, 317 00:15:13,401 --> 00:15:15,528 we would have sex on the floor. 318 00:15:15,612 --> 00:15:18,031 - On the floor? - I'll tell you one thing. 319 00:15:18,531 --> 00:15:21,242 Sorry. I didn't make you out for a floor fucker. 320 00:15:21,326 --> 00:15:23,453 Why'd you want to have sex on the floor, Larr? 321 00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:24,996 Because if you have sex on the floor, 322 00:15:25,079 --> 00:15:26,956 nobody wants to hang out on the floor afterwards, 323 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,417 so you can, you know, put your coat on and go home. 324 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,921 So you don't have to bond or talk or cuddle afterwards. 325 00:15:33,004 --> 00:15:36,299 So what? Who wants to talk to somebody you've had sex with? 326 00:15:36,382 --> 00:15:38,509 I'm sure there was cuddling before, though. 327 00:15:38,593 --> 00:15:41,888 When Larry wanted something, Larry was real cuddly. 328 00:15:41,971 --> 00:15:45,183 Weren't you, Larry? And then, afterwards, nah, not so much. 329 00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:47,936 It's a small world, Larry. You and Ken sleeping together? 330 00:15:48,019 --> 00:15:50,021 No. 331 00:15:50,647 --> 00:15:54,984 I slept with Kendra, not Ken. 332 00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:57,862 - Kendra is Ken. - Kendra is not Ken. 333 00:15:57,946 --> 00:16:00,114 - No, Kendra's Ken. - Kendra's not Ken. 334 00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:01,532 Kendra's Ken. 335 00:16:01,616 --> 00:16:04,869 I am Ken. You had sex with me. 336 00:16:04,952 --> 00:16:06,746 Ken is Kendra. Kendra is Ken. 337 00:16:06,829 --> 00:16:12,627 Ken is Ken, Kendra is Kendra, and never the twain shall meet. 338 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:14,003 We've met. 339 00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:17,048 I'm Ken, and we banged it out. 340 00:16:18,925 --> 00:16:20,718 This was fun. 341 00:16:20,802 --> 00:16:23,680 I'm glad when I came out here I got a chance to say hello. 342 00:16:23,763 --> 00:16:25,765 - Time to hit it? - Let's get going. 343 00:16:25,848 --> 00:16:29,394 Nice to meet you all. See you, Larry. 344 00:16:29,477 --> 00:16:31,479 - Good to see you again. - You're leaving already? 345 00:16:31,562 --> 00:16:35,024 - We got a thing. I'm sorry. - Thanks for coming by. 346 00:16:37,026 --> 00:16:41,406 I promise you, I will never mention this again, ever. 347 00:16:41,489 --> 00:16:44,242 - Can I help you? - I'm Chunhua for Larry. 348 00:16:44,325 --> 00:16:47,745 Yeah. This is Bruce. This is Chunhua. 349 00:16:47,829 --> 00:16:51,999 - Hi! - Bye. 350 00:16:53,334 --> 00:16:55,878 - What is that, Larry? - What do you mean? 351 00:16:55,962 --> 00:16:58,589 - That is not introduction. - I introduced him. 352 00:16:58,673 --> 00:17:00,925 I said, Bruce, this is Chunhua. He said hello. 353 00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:03,886 But no handshake, no talk, not even picture! 354 00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:06,848 I said I'd introduce you. I introduced you. 355 00:17:06,931 --> 00:17:08,933 No introduction! You fail! 356 00:17:09,016 --> 00:17:11,436 - I didn't fail! - You have nice house. 357 00:17:11,519 --> 00:17:13,146 Was that not an introduction? 358 00:17:13,229 --> 00:17:15,273 It was not a good introduction. 359 00:17:15,356 --> 00:17:18,067 You bringing these crazy fucking people into my house? 360 00:17:18,151 --> 00:17:20,862 - Who the hell was she? - She's a masseuse. 361 00:17:20,945 --> 00:17:23,489 Get the fuck out. You make Bruce leave early. 362 00:17:23,573 --> 00:17:26,993 You bring some crazy broad in here. Just go. I've had it with you today. 363 00:17:27,076 --> 00:17:28,995 I don't need to stay anymore. 364 00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:31,873 - What are you doing? - I got to zip up before I go out. 365 00:17:31,956 --> 00:17:34,500 What are you, six years old? You can't do your fucking zipper? 366 00:17:34,584 --> 00:17:35,918 All right, I'm going! 367 00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:39,297 - Got it! - Good boy. 368 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:40,673 Drop dead. 369 00:18:04,572 --> 00:18:06,282 - Hey. - I have Covid. 370 00:18:06,365 --> 00:18:07,575 - You do? - Yeah. 371 00:18:07,658 --> 00:18:09,952 I had a little sore throat, so I figured I'd take a test. 372 00:18:10,036 --> 00:18:11,329 - What'd it say? - Positive. 373 00:18:11,412 --> 00:18:12,955 You have two red lines? 374 00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:15,291 Yes, it shows the two red lines. 375 00:18:15,374 --> 00:18:17,084 I fucking hate the two red lines. 376 00:18:17,168 --> 00:18:19,295 Anyway, you better take a test, you and Susie. 377 00:18:19,378 --> 00:18:21,214 We will. Hey, by the way, 378 00:18:21,297 --> 00:18:24,842 I was about to call you. Turn on channel five, KTLA. 379 00:18:24,926 --> 00:18:26,302 Okay. Hold on. 380 00:18:27,762 --> 00:18:29,972 Sad news for Southland music lovers. 381 00:18:30,056 --> 00:18:32,642 Bruce Springsteen has been diagnosed with Covid. 382 00:18:32,725 --> 00:18:33,768 What the fuck? 383 00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:36,771 He is symptomatic, which means he's had to cancel the final show 384 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,147 of his farewell tour 385 00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:40,942 that was set to take place right here in Los Angeles. 386 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:44,445 Maybe I was wrong about whose glass was whose? 387 00:18:44,528 --> 00:18:45,780 Do you think? 388 00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,031 Get better soon, Boss. 389 00:18:49,951 --> 00:18:53,537 I'm just calling people I've been in contact with. Take a test. 390 00:18:53,621 --> 00:18:55,122 Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm quarantining. 391 00:18:55,206 --> 00:18:58,125 It's very disappointing, because I'd gone years without getting it. 392 00:18:58,209 --> 00:19:01,754 I felt really special. Now I'm just like everybody else. 393 00:19:02,171 --> 00:19:04,215 It's too bad I didn't have more social obligations. 394 00:19:04,298 --> 00:19:05,841 It's such a great excuse. 395 00:19:05,925 --> 00:19:08,886 The fridge is still humming. I think you need to come back and fix it, 396 00:19:08,970 --> 00:19:11,764 but I guess you'll have to wait till I'm better. 397 00:19:11,847 --> 00:19:13,474 Unless you wind up having Covid. 398 00:19:13,557 --> 00:19:16,227 In which case, you know, you can come tomorrow. 399 00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:18,521 Yeah, I feel like a pariah. More than normal. 400 00:19:18,604 --> 00:19:20,064 Thanks for being so understanding. 401 00:19:20,147 --> 00:19:22,316 Let me know if you get it. We'll do something. 402 00:19:27,238 --> 00:19:29,240 - What's up? - Just contacting people. 403 00:19:29,323 --> 00:19:30,574 Who you got left? 404 00:19:30,658 --> 00:19:33,786 I got everybody but this guy, Les McCrabb. 405 00:19:33,869 --> 00:19:35,287 The British dude. 406 00:19:35,371 --> 00:19:37,665 I can't really call him until I read the book. 407 00:19:37,748 --> 00:19:40,501 Man, you gotta let that motherfucker know, Larry. This Covid shit real, man. 408 00:19:40,584 --> 00:19:41,961 Don't keep fucking around. 409 00:19:42,044 --> 00:19:44,755 I'll call him as soon as I read the book. I'm sick. Don't harass me. 410 00:19:44,839 --> 00:19:46,799 Harassing you? You got me fucked up right now. 411 00:19:46,882 --> 00:19:49,844 I'm over in that bullshit-ass little-ass house, and you got the good bathroom. 412 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,846 I can't take number twos over there. It's too small. 413 00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,181 - It's pretty sad. - You don't need all this house, Larry. 414 00:19:54,265 --> 00:19:57,101 I'll switch places with you, okay? You get the Covid, I'll live there. 415 00:19:57,184 --> 00:19:58,602 Shit, I don't want Covid, man. 416 00:19:58,686 --> 00:20:00,563 I don't know what that shit gonna do to my dick. 417 00:20:00,646 --> 00:20:02,356 How 'bout I get the house and you live over there? 418 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,984 Maybe you could quarantine with me if you had Covid! 419 00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:09,447 - Don't do that shit, Larry. - If you had Covid! 420 00:20:14,827 --> 00:20:18,414 So then Tony says, "America's not going to like that." 421 00:20:18,497 --> 00:20:21,750 He was always speaking as if his name was "America". 422 00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,837 Any time the writers wrote something a little audacious, 423 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,297 a little salacious, 424 00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:29,758 Tony would poo-poo it in the name of America. 425 00:20:30,176 --> 00:20:33,846 This became increasingly evident when I was directing Herman's Head. 426 00:20:42,605 --> 00:20:44,023 You negative yet? 427 00:20:44,106 --> 00:20:45,774 - Positive. - Shit. 428 00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:48,903 It's bad enough Bruce had to cancel his farewell tour, 429 00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:52,156 maybe indefinitely, but his health is actually a real issue, 430 00:20:52,239 --> 00:20:54,158 and we don't know how this is gonna turn out. 431 00:20:54,241 --> 00:20:56,952 Bruce Springsteen is saying he got Covid from Seinfeld co-creator, 432 00:20:57,036 --> 00:20:58,245 Larry David. 433 00:20:58,329 --> 00:21:01,749 He tweeted, "I got Covid from spending time with Larry David." 434 00:21:01,832 --> 00:21:04,376 Come on. That's bullshit. You don't know that. 435 00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:07,213 And Larry's got a trial coming up at the end of the month in Atlanta. 436 00:21:07,296 --> 00:21:10,216 Getting The Boss sick? That is not a good look. 437 00:21:10,299 --> 00:21:13,177 Bruce tweeted, "I want to apologize to all my fans." 438 00:21:14,386 --> 00:21:15,888 - Hey. - Are you watching this? 439 00:21:15,971 --> 00:21:17,973 - Yeah, I'm watching. - This is not good, Larry. 440 00:21:18,057 --> 00:21:20,935 Yeah, I know it's not good, but you know what? Maybe he gave me Covid. 441 00:21:21,018 --> 00:21:22,186 What are we gonna do about this? 442 00:21:22,978 --> 00:21:24,605 We got to put out a statement, no? 443 00:21:24,688 --> 00:21:27,233 Putting out a statement is just gonna keep it alive in the press. 444 00:21:27,316 --> 00:21:28,316 Hold on. 445 00:21:29,235 --> 00:21:32,488 Larry? Hello? 446 00:21:39,662 --> 00:21:41,997 - Larry. - You were saying? 447 00:21:42,081 --> 00:21:43,624 So when Larry told me he caught something, 448 00:21:43,707 --> 00:21:45,876 I thought it might've been some old people shit. You know? 449 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,672 Like whooping cough, scurvy. You know what I mean? 450 00:21:49,755 --> 00:21:53,634 Rickets and shit like that. That's why I have my own Leon cup with a straw. 451 00:21:53,717 --> 00:21:55,135 To what do I owe the honor? 452 00:21:55,219 --> 00:21:58,430 Well, Susie told me about your little "sex on the floor" trick. 453 00:21:58,514 --> 00:21:59,807 "Sex on the floor" trick? 454 00:21:59,890 --> 00:22:03,811 You used to tell me, "Let's have sex on the floor because it's hot." 455 00:22:03,894 --> 00:22:05,521 "That's how they do it in the movies." 456 00:22:05,604 --> 00:22:07,690 You're a floor fucker. You never told me that shit. 457 00:22:07,773 --> 00:22:09,692 I like to have sex on the floor. So what? 458 00:22:09,775 --> 00:22:13,654 What's the real reason you wanted to have sex on the floor? 459 00:22:15,447 --> 00:22:17,157 Because I… 460 00:22:17,616 --> 00:22:19,535 - What? - What is it? 461 00:22:19,618 --> 00:22:26,333 I don't like to cuddle and talk. 462 00:22:26,667 --> 00:22:29,503 You don't like to hug the person you just had sex with? 463 00:22:29,586 --> 00:22:31,338 You can't hit it and quit it with your wife. 464 00:22:31,422 --> 00:22:34,216 Cheryl, listen, if after sex you wanted to talk about the Rangers, 465 00:22:34,299 --> 00:22:36,760 I would've had sex on the bed every time. 466 00:22:36,844 --> 00:22:40,389 How 'bout the way Breadman's playing? He's really amazing, isn't he? 467 00:22:40,472 --> 00:22:42,224 But you can't say, "I love you," 468 00:22:42,307 --> 00:22:45,561 and "you're the most important person to me in the whole world"? 469 00:22:45,644 --> 00:22:48,522 - People talk like that? - Yeah. 470 00:22:48,605 --> 00:22:51,024 That's what happens when people have sex. 471 00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:52,526 - They say stuff like that? - Yes. 472 00:22:52,609 --> 00:22:56,071 They say, "I love you. You're very special." 473 00:22:56,155 --> 00:22:57,531 Men do that? 474 00:22:57,614 --> 00:23:00,242 Hey, by the way, that masseuse gave me Covid. 475 00:23:00,325 --> 00:23:03,120 No, Chunhua did not give you Covid. She tested negative. 476 00:23:03,704 --> 00:23:06,665 - She's really angry with you. - Why? 477 00:23:06,749 --> 00:23:08,375 You said you were gonna introduce her to Bruce. 478 00:23:08,459 --> 00:23:10,586 I said an introduction. He said hello. 479 00:23:10,669 --> 00:23:12,755 - Did she get a picture with him? - He was leaving! 480 00:23:12,838 --> 00:23:15,924 - You need to make it right with her. - Why? What do you mean? 481 00:23:16,008 --> 00:23:18,761 - Because she's gonna take you down. - What do you mean, take me down? 482 00:23:18,844 --> 00:23:22,431 - She's going to "Me Too" you. - For what? I didn't do anything! 483 00:23:22,514 --> 00:23:23,557 You did something. 484 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,769 Just 'cause I like to have sex on the floor does not make me a deviant! 485 00:23:26,852 --> 00:23:28,395 Well, you better make it right. 486 00:23:28,479 --> 00:23:29,938 Hey, you don't want to get "Me Too-ed". 487 00:23:30,022 --> 00:23:32,566 I was in a three-way, shit got messy, and I got "We Too-ed". 488 00:23:32,649 --> 00:23:34,735 I'll see you later. 489 00:23:34,818 --> 00:23:36,278 Have you ever had sex on the floor? 490 00:23:36,361 --> 00:23:39,698 Of course I did. Know what's even better? Fucking in mud. 491 00:24:08,435 --> 00:24:09,937 Hey, hey. 492 00:24:10,729 --> 00:24:13,023 - All better! - Oh, yeah? 493 00:24:13,106 --> 00:24:14,608 - Covid negative? - Negative. 494 00:24:15,526 --> 00:24:18,487 Congratulations. I got news for you. 495 00:24:19,071 --> 00:24:21,573 - Susie's got Covid. - Oh my God. 496 00:24:21,657 --> 00:24:25,202 Susie's stuck upstairs. I got the whole first floor to myself. 497 00:24:25,285 --> 00:24:27,037 - This is unbelievable. - It's a dream. 498 00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,748 It's Jeff World down here. I do whatever I want. 499 00:24:29,831 --> 00:24:32,000 - Who's down there with you, Jeffrey? - It's Larry. 500 00:24:32,084 --> 00:24:35,963 - He's not supposed to be here. - What? I have immunity. 501 00:24:36,046 --> 00:24:38,382 And can I tell you something? I feel like Superman. 502 00:24:38,465 --> 00:24:41,051 - Do you really? - I can go anywhere and do anything. 503 00:24:41,134 --> 00:24:45,555 How could you be so happy right now? You gave Bruce Covid, Larry! 504 00:24:45,639 --> 00:24:49,559 You destroyed his life, his career. He might never play or sing again. 505 00:24:49,643 --> 00:24:52,104 - Poor Boss. - That's right, poor Boss. 506 00:24:52,187 --> 00:24:55,274 - His fans are devastated. - Oh, the poor fans. 507 00:24:55,357 --> 00:24:57,276 Everybody fucking hates you now. 508 00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:00,988 It's all your fault. You're a walking fucking virus, Larry! 509 00:25:01,071 --> 00:25:02,823 Let me tell you something! You're the virus! 510 00:25:02,906 --> 00:25:04,950 Injecting yourself into everybody's lives! 511 00:25:05,033 --> 00:25:08,870 - You're the virus! - You're the virus! 512 00:25:08,954 --> 00:25:11,415 Your entire aura is viral overload! 513 00:25:11,498 --> 00:25:14,293 I have a fantastic aura! Jeff, don't I have a good aura? 514 00:25:14,376 --> 00:25:18,005 A great aura. Susie, leave the man's aura alone! 515 00:25:18,088 --> 00:25:20,924 It's an epic aura. I have a Hall of Fame aura. 516 00:25:21,008 --> 00:25:24,386 You're small. You're petty. You're jealous. You're trite. 517 00:25:24,469 --> 00:25:30,017 I would rather be all those things than the tattletale you are. 518 00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:32,227 You had to tell Cheryl I like to have sex on the floor? 519 00:25:32,310 --> 00:25:35,230 - What the hell is that? - I did have to tell. It was criminal. 520 00:25:35,313 --> 00:25:38,400 You ought to be ashamed of yourself, squealing like a little pig. 521 00:25:38,483 --> 00:25:41,820 The fact that you wouldn't be intimate and cuddle with your own fucking wife. 522 00:25:41,903 --> 00:25:44,072 What kind of ingrate human being are you? 523 00:25:44,156 --> 00:25:47,284 Go fuck yourself. I hope you're up here for another three weeks. 524 00:25:47,367 --> 00:25:50,412 You cold-hearted, Covid-carrying cocksucker! 525 00:25:50,495 --> 00:25:52,539 Let's go watch the game. 526 00:25:53,123 --> 00:25:56,084 Drove by Ollie and Al's. "A" is still up. 527 00:25:56,168 --> 00:25:58,545 You're kidding. Where does that guy get off? 528 00:25:58,628 --> 00:25:59,921 I'm gonna talk to him about it. 529 00:26:01,381 --> 00:26:05,427 You have bad foot. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. This no smooth ride. 530 00:26:05,510 --> 00:26:06,762 Herky jerky. 531 00:26:07,721 --> 00:26:09,890 When we see Bruce today, I want photo. 532 00:26:10,974 --> 00:26:13,310 I don't even know how we're even getting in, okay? 533 00:26:13,643 --> 00:26:16,188 I masseuse. Masseuse always get in. 534 00:26:17,439 --> 00:26:19,357 Jeez! 535 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,445 - We love you! - Bruce! 536 00:26:23,528 --> 00:26:25,238 - We miss you! - Bruce! 537 00:26:25,322 --> 00:26:27,199 Asbury Park rules! 538 00:26:28,366 --> 00:26:29,785 I got to pull over. 539 00:26:30,368 --> 00:26:33,371 - Why stop here? - You're gonna have to drive. 540 00:26:33,872 --> 00:26:37,751 - We're sending our love! - Feel better please! 541 00:26:37,834 --> 00:26:40,128 We need you back on tour, man! 542 00:26:40,629 --> 00:26:43,256 l still don't get how you're gonna get in here. 543 00:26:43,340 --> 00:26:44,591 Leave it to me. 544 00:26:46,551 --> 00:26:50,388 - Hello? - Massage! 545 00:26:51,056 --> 00:26:53,475 l'm sorry, we did not order a massage. 546 00:26:53,558 --> 00:26:56,770 Somebody in this house order massage. Open gate. 547 00:26:56,853 --> 00:26:58,980 No, no one in this house ordered a massage. 548 00:26:59,064 --> 00:27:01,483 You order massage. 362 Bristol. 549 00:27:01,566 --> 00:27:04,194 Open gate or I leave, and you pay me. 550 00:27:06,404 --> 00:27:08,073 Okay, come on in. 551 00:27:08,615 --> 00:27:10,116 Unbelievable. 552 00:27:12,619 --> 00:27:16,581 Larry. Where Bruce? 553 00:27:16,998 --> 00:27:18,458 Follow me. 554 00:27:30,470 --> 00:27:35,058 A house divided against itself cannot stand. 555 00:27:38,061 --> 00:27:39,521 Hey. 556 00:27:41,106 --> 00:27:43,441 - Bruce! - What the fuck? 557 00:27:43,525 --> 00:27:44,901 - Hey, man. - Larry. 558 00:27:45,860 --> 00:27:48,863 What are you doing in my backyard, and how did you get in here? 559 00:27:48,947 --> 00:27:51,616 I laid down on the floor of the car. She said she was your masseuse. 560 00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:53,410 - They let her in. - What? 561 00:27:53,493 --> 00:27:55,161 By the way, there's a lot of people out there. 562 00:27:55,245 --> 00:27:59,040 Yeah, because they think I'm dying from the Covid I caught from you. 563 00:27:59,124 --> 00:28:02,335 Mr. Three-Card Monte with the glasses. That's where it happened. 564 00:28:02,419 --> 00:28:06,131 Hey, I'm almost 99.9% sure that was my glass, Bruce. 565 00:28:06,214 --> 00:28:09,092 - I lost my sense of smell. - I'm so sorry. 566 00:28:09,175 --> 00:28:11,970 There's nothing to smell. Everything stinks. 567 00:28:12,053 --> 00:28:14,514 You're better off. Hey, what are you watching? 568 00:28:14,597 --> 00:28:17,017 - Young Mr. Lincoln. - Lincoln in Illinois? 569 00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:18,685 - Yeah. - I love that movie. 570 00:28:18,768 --> 00:28:22,147 A house divided against itself cannot stand. 571 00:28:22,230 --> 00:28:24,566 That's a good Massey. Now get the fuck out, please. 572 00:28:24,649 --> 00:28:27,235 Okay. Do you remember, Chunhua? 573 00:28:27,319 --> 00:28:29,029 Bruce. I love you, Bruce. 574 00:28:29,112 --> 00:28:33,033 She didn't get a chance to talk to you last time. She's a big fan. 575 00:28:33,116 --> 00:28:35,243 - She just wants… - One photo. 576 00:28:35,327 --> 00:28:37,329 I'm sick as a fucking dog. It's not really the best time. 577 00:28:37,412 --> 00:28:40,248 - It'll just take one second. - What? 578 00:28:40,332 --> 00:28:41,624 There you go. 579 00:28:43,793 --> 00:28:46,880 - Show me. - There you go. Okay, man. 580 00:28:46,963 --> 00:28:50,091 - No Bruce, only me and reflection. - What am I supposed to do? 581 00:28:50,175 --> 00:28:52,427 - You take photo! - This is the last one! 582 00:28:52,510 --> 00:28:55,263 - Larry, take the fucking photo! - I took it! 583 00:28:55,346 --> 00:28:57,098 Larry, what are you doing? 584 00:28:57,182 --> 00:28:59,893 You guys can't be here. He doesn't feel well. 585 00:28:59,976 --> 00:29:01,811 - l'm sick. - You got to get out of here. 586 00:29:01,895 --> 00:29:04,147 I'm sorry about this. I totally had a hunch 587 00:29:04,230 --> 00:29:06,691 that this was not a good idea that you meet Bruce. 588 00:29:06,775 --> 00:29:09,110 That's not a hunch. I think you want all the credit for being right 589 00:29:09,194 --> 00:29:10,570 without doing any of the work. 590 00:29:10,653 --> 00:29:12,697 If you had a hunch, you should've said something. 591 00:29:12,781 --> 00:29:14,532 - There you go. - You need to get out of here. 592 00:29:14,616 --> 00:29:18,620 - We'll take our leave now. - Jesus Christ. 593 00:29:18,703 --> 00:29:22,457 Steven, may I add, we're very honored and appreciative of the time 594 00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:24,042 we got to spend here. 595 00:29:24,459 --> 00:29:29,047 Mary, why do you constantly insult me in front of my friends? 596 00:29:34,052 --> 00:29:35,428 Fucking Larry. 597 00:29:38,723 --> 00:29:40,475 You got what you needed, right? 598 00:29:42,769 --> 00:29:44,979 Oh my God, it's Larry David! 599 00:29:45,063 --> 00:29:47,732 You gave Bruce Covid, you psycho! 600 00:29:47,816 --> 00:29:51,778 No, no, no! I didn't give him Covid! 601 00:29:51,861 --> 00:29:53,655 You ruined the tour. I had front row seats. 602 00:29:53,738 --> 00:29:55,281 It was my last chance to see him. 603 00:30:01,454 --> 00:30:02,956 Go, go, go! 604 00:30:05,792 --> 00:30:07,293 Oh my God. 605 00:30:12,465 --> 00:30:15,218 Did Patricia Heaton get a little handsy? 606 00:30:15,301 --> 00:30:20,306 Well, my friends, that is a tale for the next book, because that's a wrap! 607 00:30:24,602 --> 00:30:26,813 - What a piece of shit. - Now you got to call him. 608 00:30:26,896 --> 00:30:28,565 What's up, fellas? Keeping it light today. 609 00:30:28,648 --> 00:30:31,693 Lorenzo. I saw what you did. 610 00:30:31,776 --> 00:30:35,405 I saw you change the sign from a C to an A. 611 00:30:35,488 --> 00:30:38,032 So I'm not about to eat food from your restaurant. 612 00:30:38,783 --> 00:30:41,953 - That C was undeserved. - Really? How so? 613 00:30:42,036 --> 00:30:45,248 One of my guys had sex with a waitress on the floor. 614 00:30:45,331 --> 00:30:48,251 Health department found out, and then, boom, we got a C. 615 00:30:48,334 --> 00:30:51,337 Doesn't even make any sense. Why have sex with anybody on a floor? 616 00:30:51,421 --> 00:30:54,549 There's plenty of places to have sex. I have a couch in my office. 617 00:30:54,632 --> 00:30:57,844 Maybe he just knows that women don't want to hang out on the floor 618 00:30:57,927 --> 00:31:00,555 and that he can have sex and then just get dressed 619 00:31:00,638 --> 00:31:02,265 and go about his business. 620 00:31:02,348 --> 00:31:07,103 I considered that, and that pisses me off more than this fucking C. 621 00:31:07,895 --> 00:31:11,566 What kind of asshole doesn't want to cuddle after sex? 622 00:31:11,649 --> 00:31:13,985 That's what separates us from animals. 623 00:31:14,068 --> 00:31:16,946 We're not two badgers fucking in the woods. 624 00:31:17,030 --> 00:31:19,449 We are people who love one another. 625 00:31:19,532 --> 00:31:21,701 Woman just gives herself to you like that, 626 00:31:21,784 --> 00:31:23,828 and you're not gonna spend a little time thanking her? 627 00:31:23,911 --> 00:31:26,831 And the fact that he couldn't throw an arm around her, 628 00:31:26,914 --> 00:31:31,961 talk about the rest of her fucking day… What's she gonna do? 629 00:31:32,045 --> 00:31:35,715 It just takes one minute of common fucking courtesy. 630 00:31:35,798 --> 00:31:37,967 There's never an excuse not to cuddle. 631 00:31:38,051 --> 00:31:41,179 That guy is a straight up sick fuck. 632 00:31:41,596 --> 00:31:44,724 Well, you know, we don't know anything about this guy. 633 00:31:44,807 --> 00:31:47,101 Maybe he's just a nice guy in a hurry. 634 00:31:47,185 --> 00:31:48,644 No. He is a dirty floor fucker 635 00:31:48,728 --> 00:31:51,147 who doesn't deserve to live amongst us. 636 00:31:51,814 --> 00:31:54,108 - This is all on me. - Really? 637 00:31:54,442 --> 00:31:57,403 The place is clean. We deserve an A. 638 00:31:58,654 --> 00:32:02,450 I'd like to meet this guy. We got something in common. 639 00:32:02,533 --> 00:32:04,202 I could probably be friends with this guy. 640 00:32:04,285 --> 00:32:08,081 I only did it in my house. He's doing it in restaurants. 641 00:32:08,164 --> 00:32:14,587 It's sad to think that there might be a guy out there who has sex on the floor, 642 00:32:15,004 --> 00:32:16,714 and I'm never gonna meet him. 643 00:32:16,798 --> 00:32:19,383 - That's deep shit right there. - All right, let's go. 644 00:32:19,842 --> 00:32:22,386 Wait. What the fuck is happening here? 645 00:32:22,470 --> 00:32:24,847 You read the book. You know what time it is now? 646 00:32:24,931 --> 00:32:27,558 - You got to call this motherfucker. - Yeah. One second. 647 00:32:28,476 --> 00:32:30,728 You got to do that shit right now? Every moment counts. 648 00:32:30,812 --> 00:32:32,563 You're gonna put that shit off again, 649 00:32:32,647 --> 00:32:34,941 and this motherfucker's walking around spreading Rona. 650 00:32:35,024 --> 00:32:37,527 Okay. Got it. 651 00:32:37,610 --> 00:32:39,487 Now call that sorry-ass English motherfucker 652 00:32:39,570 --> 00:32:41,114 and let him know he got the Rona. 653 00:32:41,656 --> 00:32:43,658 Namaste, sister. Thank you. 654 00:32:44,659 --> 00:32:47,203 Mahmoud! Lovely to see you again. 655 00:32:47,286 --> 00:32:48,746 Wonderful to see you, too, brother. 656 00:32:48,830 --> 00:32:50,790 Bye-bye, phone. See you in a week. 657 00:32:50,873 --> 00:32:53,668 Here you are, everybody! 658 00:32:55,086 --> 00:32:58,965 Fantastic to see you. I didn't sleep last night, I was so excited. 659 00:32:59,048 --> 00:33:01,968 There you are. Give me a kiss. Come close. 660 00:33:02,051 --> 00:33:03,469 I was hoping you would be here. 661 00:33:03,553 --> 00:33:06,556 My brother tells me you're pregnant again. Let's do this. 662 00:33:06,639 --> 00:33:10,852 Now, everyone, I want you to take a cleansing breath before we take off. 663 00:33:15,481 --> 00:33:18,442 Great. Right, let's go. Let's not be fucking late.