1
00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:02,820
It's too peaceful in here.
2
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:03,999
That's because these children spend
3
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,470
all of their time on their phones.
4
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:08,030
- Hm!
- They barely interact with each other.
5
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:09,770
Isn't that right, Ava?
6
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,790
Huh? Oh, yeah.
7
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,949
It's probably 'cause they don't
have hand games anymore.
8
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:16,170
Hey! Do you guys know Shame?
9
00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:18,300
- Rockin' Robin.
- Miss Mary Mack.
10
00:00:18,350 --> 00:00:20,080
♪ Miss Mary ♪
11
00:00:20,130 --> 00:00:21,180
♪ Mack, Mack, Mack ♪
12
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,970
♪ All dressed in black, black, black ♪
13
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:26,010
Oh, we have those, too!
14
00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,520
Let's do it. Okay.
15
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,190
♪ Girls rule, boys drool ♪
16
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,630
♪ We use too much fossil fuels ♪
17
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,130
♪ Loser, loser, double loser ♪
18
00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:33,620
♪ Biden drives a P.T. Cruiser ♪
19
00:00:33,670 --> 00:00:35,110
♪ Know the answer, raise your hand ♪
20
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,400
♪ We live on Native Land ♪
21
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,870
♪ Don't call me sir,
don't call me miss ♪
22
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,150
♪ Aliens do exist ♪
23
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,759
- Oh, my.
- ♪ He's too short, she's too tall ♪
24
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,030
- ♪ When will this country fall? ♪
- Okay. Okay.
25
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,710
Uh... go back to your phones.
26
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,120
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
27
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,970
Mr. Eddie, my tooth is loose.
28
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,070
Mm-hmm.
29
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,233
If it falls out, do I eat
it like I did last time?
30
00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:07,720
I'm a little busy right now, okay?
31
00:01:07,770 --> 00:01:09,737
You're coloring a carrot.
32
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:13,550
Go take a seat for me. Okay?
33
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,300
So, after the teachers' panel,
34
00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:17,590
a man from the Philadelphia
Activities Fund approached me
35
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,040
about applying for a grant for
the Garden Goofballs program.
36
00:01:20,090 --> 00:01:21,860
That would mean field trips to fields...
37
00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:23,000
seed money for seeds...
38
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,140
and the kids' top request...
39
00:01:25,191 --> 00:01:26,520
matching T-shirts.
40
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:28,920
So I've been working
nonstop on the proposal
41
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,290
to make that happen.
42
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,709
You know, it's really exciting to think
43
00:01:31,710 --> 00:01:34,110
about what the Garden Goofballs
program can become,
44
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,850
and to think it all started
because of a fart.
45
00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:39,360
Hi. Mr. Eddie?
46
00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:41,560
I'm subbing for Ms. Teagues
next door this week.
47
00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:43,770
- Everything alright?
- Well, there's a student
48
00:01:43,810 --> 00:01:46,370
who's had unexcused absences
the last three days.
49
00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:48,180
Just wondering what the protocol is.
50
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,310
Well, which child?
51
00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:51,400
- Alex.
- Alex Perkins?
52
00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:52,570
He was with me last year.
53
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:55,199
Yes, and I noticed he only
came to class twice last week.
54
00:01:55,210 --> 00:01:57,270
Oh, well, that's not like Alex.
55
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,170
So can you just not come to school?
56
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,850
- No.
- Sounds like you don't have to.
57
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:04,330
I can't wait for second grade!
58
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,740
Thanks for letting me
know. I'll look into it.
59
00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:10,673
My tooth! I just swallowed my tooth!
60
00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:15,460
Yes. This is incredible.
61
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,960
Okay. Bye, Principal Oldman!
62
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,650
That was Principal Oldman
over at Robinson Prep.
63
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:22,290
He was calling to personally thank me
64
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,420
for the institution of
the librarian program.
65
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,270
- That's awesome!
- Oh, my God!
66
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,230
Superintendent John Reynolds
in my office. Ha ha ha!
67
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,750
Am I being fired?
68
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,260
I was just quoting that joke.
69
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,080
No, you're not being fired, Janine.
70
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,320
I-I came in here to compliment you.
71
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,290
- Oh.
- "Oh"? That's it?
72
00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:41,970
Y-You thought you were getting fired,
73
00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:43,290
and now I'm complimenting you,
74
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,290
- and just... "Oh."
- Oh.
75
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,870
Anyway, I've been very
impressed with your work.
76
00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:51,530
Your ability to problem-solve
under pressure is why I think
77
00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:53,966
you should be calling a few
more of the shots around here.
78
00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:57,030
- Wow.
- "Wow."
79
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:58,620
That's the reaction I was looking for!
80
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,800
When your fellowship is up,
81
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,130
we really want to offer you
a full-time position here.
82
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,560
- A real job here?
- Yeah, here.
83
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,910
We think that you have
barely scratched the surface.
84
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,817
You have the chance to be a superstar.
85
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,680
Minus the flashing lights
and the insane salary.
86
00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:15,777
You would be getting
a little bit of a raise.
87
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,531
- Oh!
- But you're still a government worker.
88
00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:19,908
- Okay.
- Um, but we're gonna give you that chance.
89
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,850
The district has provided
us with a new software
90
00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:27,207
to detect the use of A.I. in your work.
91
00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:30,050
You need to understand
this growing technology,
92
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:31,940
and I thought we could
try it all together.
93
00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:35,050
So here is a poem by Robert Frost.
94
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,580
And when I hit this button,
95
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,350
it will tell us if Frost was a robot...
96
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,830
and my entire life has been a lie.
97
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,680
_
98
00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:44,970
Ah!
99
00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:46,550
I knew it was all Bobby.
100
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:51,400
And here is Javon's
paper on World War II.
101
00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:53,960
I-I only used Wikipedia to make
sure I spelled the names right.
102
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,480
Ha ha ha! Let's go!
Hey. I told you, Mr. C.
103
00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,700
I never doubted you, Javon.
104
00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:01,560
Mainly because you got a "D" on it.
105
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:04,440
So we will need to
have a chat about that.
106
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:07,090
Really, you can use this
on any written material...
107
00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:10,210
books, journals, things from
your everyday life, even.
108
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:13,210
For example, here is a
lovely e-mail response
109
00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:15,770
from Mrs. Howard to
my weekly newsletter.
110
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:16,859
_
111
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:20,030
And, uh... no, that...
112
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,020
Mrs. Howard cold as hell!
113
00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:24,030
Yeah, she must hate your ass.
114
00:04:24,590 --> 00:04:25,840
Stop cursing.
115
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:29,890
Janine is 10 minutes late,
116
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,099
which means she's 30 minutes late,
117
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,580
'cause I'm always 20 minutes late.
118
00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:33,880
Well, she does better than me
119
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,750
because when I say I'm
gonna be a little late,
120
00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:37,379
I usually just don't show up.
121
00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:39,240
Well, well, well!
122
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,156
If it isn't the Autobots.
123
00:04:41,170 --> 00:04:43,650
Or should I say Decepticons.
124
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,169
I'm already not enjoying
this conversation.
125
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,040
Jacob, what are you talking about?
126
00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:49,450
Well, you see, I was demonstrating
127
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,540
the new A.I. detection software
128
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:54,570
to my class this morning,
and I thought, "Hmm.
129
00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:56,220
What better test than to use
130
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:59,310
one of my good friend Barb's
e-mail correspondences?"
131
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,100
And I was shocked...
132
00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:03,680
no, heartbroken...
133
00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:08,550
to learn that it was 99% A.I.-generated.
134
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,090
Jacob, I'm sure it was just a glitch.
135
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,300
Dang, Barb. How could you do that?
136
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,990
Funny you say that.
137
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,890
Because then I decided to
check your thoughtful review
138
00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:19,669
- of my essay on the hidden dangers...
- Ohh.
139
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:22,364
- ... of espresso martinis.
- And I meant every word.
140
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:23,990
Oh, I bet you did.
141
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,460
100%... A.I.-generated.
142
00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:28,940
100. Mnh.
143
00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:30,600
So, Ava showed me how to do it,
144
00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:32,210
and then I showed Barbara.
145
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,700
Because, you know, we need
to learn A.I. software
146
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,300
to make sure the kids aren't
abusing it to do their work.
147
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:40,330
That privilege is reserved for teachers.
148
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:43,710
Looks like Alex has seven
unexcused absences.
149
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,850
That's not so bad.
150
00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:46,346
Oh. Plus today. So eight.
151
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,630
Eight? Oh, that's very bad.
152
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:49,840
- It is?
- Mm-hmm.
153
00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:51,250
If he misses two more days,
154
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,580
he's got to go to family court
155
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,650
to schedule an appearance
at truancy court
156
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,550
and then he gets held back.
157
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,330
- For just two more absences?
- Mm-hmm.
158
00:05:58,350 --> 00:05:59,859
Well, has anyone tried
calling his house?
159
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,040
The district has an
automated phone system
160
00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:03,155
that calls the students' homes.
161
00:06:03,156 --> 00:06:05,700
Well, do we know if anyone's
gotten through to his family?
162
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:07,560
What do we do if Alex
still isn't showing up?
163
00:06:07,610 --> 00:06:09,369
Well, that's the extent of our protocol.
164
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,458
Do you know how hurtful it is
to know that instead of talking
165
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,950
to some of my closest companions,
166
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,420
I've been talking to WALL-E
for the past few months?!
167
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:20,923
Okay, well, Jacob, you're being rude,
168
00:06:20,924 --> 00:06:22,740
because look...
Janine is here to give us
169
00:06:22,790 --> 00:06:24,710
a big, special, important announcement.
170
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,990
- Go ahead, Janine.
- Yes, yes. Thank you, Melissa.
171
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,399
- You're welcome.
- Yeah. That's correct.
172
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,520
I do have something big
to announce, so, um...
173
00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:32,710
Wait. Where's Gregory?
174
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:35,110
Oh, he's working on his Goofball
proposal for the district.
175
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,770
Oh. Okay.
176
00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:39,950
Well, thank you all so much
for staying after school.
177
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,560
I have some news about my fellowship.
178
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:44,060
God sakes. Who cares
about your fellowship?!
179
00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:45,910
I got ribs in the slow cooker!
180
00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:47,910
Wait, wait. No, no, no, no.
This is important.
181
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,949
You know, as you all know,
my fellowship at the district
182
00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:52,570
- is coming to an end.
- Ooh, girl, don't remind me.
183
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,872
My doomsday countdown clock is
set to the day that you're back.
184
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,150
Stop!
185
00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,879
The superintendent offered me a
full-time position at the district.
186
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,100
And I'm going to take it.
187
00:07:04,150 --> 00:07:05,580
So I'm leaving Abbott.
188
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,640
Dibs on Janine's classroom
as my new office!
189
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:12,880
Oh, this is officially
the worst day ever.
190
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,860
- I am proud of you.
- Ohh.
191
00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:18,110
Janine, you have worked so hard,
192
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,640
and they are lucky to get you.
193
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,850
Well, if you're not gonna
be here anymore,
194
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,930
then I don't have to know
your name, Janice.
195
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,780
And for the record,
I-I-I am proud of you.
196
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,720
I'm just having trouble processing...
197
00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:31,868
because I'm a human.
198
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,690
- But, um...
- Ohh!
199
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:36,590
- This is huge.
- Oh. Thank you, guys.
200
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:38,750
This was not an easy decision to make.
201
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,470
I mean, I hemmed and I hawed.
202
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,010
Heck, I almost pussyfooted.
203
00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:45,830
But I want to do it.
204
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,910
I think I can really do
some good work there.
205
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,440
- No reaction from you, Ava?
- Oh, sorry.
206
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:54,559
I'm just going through the mental
list of Janine replacements
207
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,400
that I started the day I met you.
208
00:07:57,450 --> 00:07:59,760
Ooh! It's on!
209
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,250
And since you don't work here
anymore, you're trespassing.
210
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:04,840
Security! Security!
211
00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:07,821
Singular noun or a plural noun?
212
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,510
Day nine, and he's still not here.
213
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,190
I mean, Alex was in my class last year,
214
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,860
and he had perfect attendance.
215
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:17,880
He's the type of kid who likes
when recess gets rained out
216
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,710
so he can stay inside and read.
217
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,210
Something has to be going on.
218
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,369
Hello?
219
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:25,200
Hi. This is Abbott Elementary
calling to check on Alex Perkins.
220
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:27,550
You're gonna have to
speak up. Who is this?
221
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,960
Uh, this is Gregory Eddie,
222
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,620
um, from Abbott Elementary.
223
00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:33,472
- Is Alex okay?
- Oh, hi.
224
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,800
Yeah. He's right here watching
"The Price Is Right" with me.
225
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,460
Well, he needs to be in school!
226
00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:41,860
He can't be absent tomorrow,
or he will be held back.
227
00:08:41,910 --> 00:08:44,080
No. I already gave him a snack.
228
00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:45,440
No. "Held back!"
229
00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:47,890
If Alex misses one more day of school,
230
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,980
he will have to repeat the second grade!
231
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,660
Can you possibly turn
the TV down for me?!
232
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:56,190
- Sure. It's a commercial.
- Oh, okay. Thank you.
233
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,740
We want to know why Alex
hasn't been in school.
234
00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:01,080
He said he don't want to go to school,
235
00:09:01,110 --> 00:09:03,700
say he miss his old teacher, Ms. Teams.
236
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:04,850
- Huh?
- Ms. Teams?
237
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:08,130
Oh. Ms. Teagues? He misses her?
238
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,400
He says that's why?
239
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:11,380
Oh, okay. Goodbye!
240
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,620
No, I...
241
00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:14,960
Damn shame.
242
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:17,224
The boy live right across the street.
243
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,100
_
244
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:24,800
So you're telling me that we can see
245
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:26,830
as many movies as we want?
246
00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:28,200
Mm-hmm.
247
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:34,150
Jacob, seems like a perfect opportunity
248
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,650
for you to tell us about that
movie membership thing
249
00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:38,700
- you're always proselytizing about.
- Yeah.
250
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,330
How's that... How's that work again?
251
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,250
Well, while I would love to fill you in
252
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,350
and explain Nicole
Kidman's role in all of it,
253
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,829
I think you'd probably prefer to consult
254
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:48,050
- some of your robot friends.
- Oh.
255
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,200
So we used A.I.
256
00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:51,860
At least we responded.
257
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,130
Do you have any idea how
much time and love and time
258
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:56,320
I put into my e-mails?
259
00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:58,880
Have you no respect
for my emotional labor?
260
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,351
- You just ask for so much feedback.
- Oh. So much.
261
00:10:01,370 --> 00:10:04,100
And Barb's typing speed
is a sentence per hour.
262
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:05,539
There isn't enough time in the day.
263
00:10:05,540 --> 00:10:08,180
Okay, look, if we were
trying to be mean,
264
00:10:08,230 --> 00:10:10,930
we would say that your e-mails
are super-long and boring,
265
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,582
add zero value to our lives,
266
00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:14,150
and please stop sending them.
267
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,020
- We're being nice!
- Yeah.
268
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,560
Nice? A.I. cannot be nice.
269
00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:19,780
Okay.
270
00:10:19,830 --> 00:10:23,940
Okay. Okay. I can see where
this would be upsetting.
271
00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:25,709
We're sorry.
272
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,630
- No more generative e-mails.
- Mnh-mnh.
273
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,700
And we will do our best to respond.
274
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,923
- Thank you.
- Yes.
275
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:35,100
To the ones that aren't
super-long and boring.
276
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,130
Hey, Gregory. Um...
277
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:41,960
I was just about to text you,
278
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,309
but I'm guessing you heard already.
279
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,090
So you already know about Alex Perkins?
280
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,020
Alex Perkins? From my class?
281
00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:48,523
What's going on with him?
Everything okay?
282
00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:51,260
Oh, um, yeah. He hasn't
been coming to class.
283
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,942
He has nine absences. One more...
284
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,350
He has to go to truancy court
285
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,323
- and he gets held back a year.
- Yeah.
286
00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:58,459
Can you imagine having to go
to court as a second grader?
287
00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:00,240
Oh, my God. How is this happening?
288
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,080
This is very out-of-character for him.
289
00:11:02,130 --> 00:11:04,206
- Something must be going on.
- I know. Um...
290
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:06,350
We just found out he lives
right across the street.
291
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:07,791
I was thinking about going to his house.
292
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,590
We cannot go to his house.
293
00:11:09,630 --> 00:11:12,700
I mean, that's strictly
against district policy.
294
00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:14,490
The protocol says we call.
295
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:16,509
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we went through
all the district protocols.
296
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,640
I then called his house,
I spoke to his grandma,
297
00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:20,619
who I think heard one of
every three words I said,
298
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:23,880
but his grandma did say that
he's not coming to school
299
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,477
because he misses his old teacher.
300
00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:27,400
- That's me.
- Or me.
301
00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:29,180
- Or me.
- Okay.
302
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:31,230
Um, so, I was thinking
that after school,
303
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,700
we could get together,
304
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,160
go to the house, see what's going on.
305
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,865
- Jacob.
- Ah.
306
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,230
One of my real friends.
307
00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:41,560
You'd never use a robot.
308
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:42,690
You're damn right.
309
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:45,150
I wanted you to know I'm eagerly
awaiting your feedback
310
00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:47,810
on my latest newsletter about
the history of spring cleaning.
311
00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:49,990
Oh. Yeah. I was, um...
312
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,070
I was working all weekend on that.
313
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,180
You shall have my
detailed response soon.
314
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,160
Great. For every paragraph I wrote,
315
00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:58,520
I expect at least three paragraphs back.
316
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:05,340
We here at Abbott hold our
teachers to a high standard.
317
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,510
Therefore, we will be conducting
a rigorous selection process
318
00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:13,720
to ensure that only the most
qualified educator gets the job.
319
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,140
Having said that,
320
00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:17,612
if you are 5'5" and under,
please step forward.
321
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,270
You are dismissed.
322
00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:23,900
If you are a go-getter
who is always prompt,
323
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,110
please step forward.
324
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,400
Thank you. You are dismissed.
325
00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:33,190
Congratulations on making
it to the final round.
326
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,040
You are only one question
away from landing this job.
327
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,717
Do you own a jelly-bean belt?
328
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,480
Seriously?! Dismissed!
329
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,840
Send in the next batch.
330
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,970
Okay, so, under no circumstances
do we enter the house.
331
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,640
We're already, you know, pushing
the boundaries of district policy.
332
00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:53,499
Right. Going up to the door
is already bad enough.
333
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:54,719
We don't want to cross any more lines.
334
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,029
Exactly. We'll just explain the gravity
335
00:12:56,030 --> 00:12:57,880
of the situation to Grandma,
be on our way.
336
00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:58,960
- Sounds good.
- Yes.
337
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,770
Oh. You here to fix the refrigerator?
338
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,325
Oh, no. What's wrong
with the refrigerator?
339
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:05,680
What's not wrong with the fridge?
340
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:06,799
No, no, we're not here for that.
341
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,200
- Oh.
- Yes. I'm Janine Teagues
342
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:10,139
from the school district,
and this is Gregory Eddie
343
00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:11,470
- from Abbott Elementary.
- Hello.
344
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:14,650
And we came to let you know
that your grandson, Alex,
345
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,120
is one absence away
from being held back.
346
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,540
He's fine.
347
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:20,750
He's inside watching
"The Price Is Right."
348
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,130
- That ain't never hurt nobody.
- Um, but he won't be fine
349
00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:25,790
if he misses class tomorrow...
350
00:13:25,810 --> 00:13:27,910
or another day this year.
351
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:29,149
There will be repercussions
that will affect him
352
00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:30,180
for the rest of his life.
353
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,370
Back in my day, we came
to school when we could,
354
00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:35,400
and we all turned out just fine.
355
00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:37,180
Right. But that won't work here.
356
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,640
- Oh.
- This is a very serious matter.
357
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,870
We wouldn't be here otherwise.
358
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,350
So, please, could you just make sure
359
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,658
that Alex makes it to class?
360
00:13:45,670 --> 00:13:47,270
Well, I just don't see the point
361
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:49,580
in making the boy go
somewhere he hates so bad
362
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:52,320
when he can stay home and just
hang out with me and Drew Carey.
363
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:54,120
- Hm.
- Um...
364
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,240
Janine, I think it's time to go.
365
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,490
And Rona. Hi.
366
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,390
- $1,100.
- $1,100...
367
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,910
Actually, can we come inside?
368
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,080
- Huh?
- Sure.
369
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,700
But don't be making no guesses
370
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:09,100
during Showcase Showdown.
371
00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:12,480
- You keep them to yourself.
- Okay.
372
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:13,603
- Janine?
- Gregory.
373
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,960
You're gonna be playing Plinko!
374
00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:21,650
Alex, we want to know why you
haven't been coming to school.
375
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:25,230
- I'm gonna miss Plinko.
- ... thousand dollars!
376
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,580
- Alex. Hey.
- Yes! There you go!
377
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:29,828
Tell us what's been going on.
378
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,120
Well, Ms. Teagues doesn't go to school,
379
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,130
so I don't need to go, either.
380
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:37,490
Alex, you have to go to school
381
00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:39,212
whether I'm there or not, okay?
382
00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:40,700
School is something you cannot miss.
383
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:41,798
You do.
384
00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:44,400
When are you coming back
to be my teacher again?
385
00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:45,710
Well, that's the good news.
386
00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:48,320
Ms. Teagues is almost
done at the district,
387
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:50,130
so she'll be back at Abbott very soon.
388
00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:53,670
I know you're not sick in my house.
389
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,880
No.
390
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:57,500
Um...
391
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,040
So, I actually just accepted
392
00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:03,100
a full-time position at the district.
393
00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:04,550
- What?
- What?!
394
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,930
She says she's working
full-time at the district.
395
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,270
Y'all can't hear?
396
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,300
... price starts with
a 3 or ends with a 5?
397
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,440
Welcome to your future!
398
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,440
Yeah.
399
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,999
Ooh. I'mma save so much
money from the chiropractor
400
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,374
from not having to look down at you.
401
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,630
Hmm!
402
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,690
So, after formally
interviewing 536 applicants,
403
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,740
I found a perfect
replacement for Janine.
404
00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:26,540
She has great fashion sense,
went to Penn State,
405
00:15:26,590 --> 00:15:29,830
and says her best skill is
creative problem ignoring.
406
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,040
I can't wait to introduce her
to the rest of the staff.
407
00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:34,560
I hope you get a nude from the T-800!
408
00:15:34,590 --> 00:15:35,880
Ooh. What's going on here?
409
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:39,000
Jacob responded to my
newsletter using a chat bot.
410
00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:40,510
I ran it through that program,
411
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,330
and the only thing real
was some corny joke
412
00:15:42,340 --> 00:15:44,444
about if you spring-cleaned my head,
413
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,613
you'd probably see
your reflection in it.
414
00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:48,310
What the hell, Jacob?!
415
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,350
You gave us a hard time for using it,
416
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,730
but then you go and do the
same thing to Mr. Johnson!
417
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:55,230
I'm sorry. I've been completely
underwater this week.
418
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:58,400
- Ha!
- Mr. Johnson is single-handedly responsible
419
00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:00,420
for keeping most of the
toilets in this joint
420
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:01,660
running some of the time.
421
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,640
Yet he still found the time
422
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:06,320
to put his heart and soul
into that newsletter.
423
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:09,050
Wait. So you authentically respond
424
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,540
to his newsletter, but not mine?
425
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,720
- Yeah.
- He sends one e-mail
426
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,730
per quarter, and it is usually filled
427
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:17,840
with delightful anecdotes and musings.
428
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:20,320
Mm-hmm. You send 10 e-mails
a day. And you know what?
429
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,524
I rarely feel like I'm learning
a thing about you.
430
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:24,059
Oh, and you feel like
you learn something
431
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:25,599
about Mr. Johnson from that newsletter?
432
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,195
I think we all know he likes to clean!
433
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:29,200
Actually, it's more than
about spring cleaning
434
00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:32,260
and explores its origins
in the Iranian culture.
435
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:33,743
I learned a lot about the Iranian people
436
00:16:33,744 --> 00:16:36,480
since their problematic
depiction in the film "300."
437
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:38,498
- Great read.
- Very insightful.
438
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:39,519
And you would've known that
439
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,690
if you had read my newsletter,
you ignorant fool!
440
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:42,770
- Ooh!
- Mm-hmm.
441
00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:45,780
- Y'all fightin'?!
- Everyone, please meet Mercedes...
442
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,220
Janine's more evolved replacement.
443
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:50,470
So, who's winning?
444
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,930
Oh, I got 10 on the plumber.
445
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,808
- Ends with a 4.
- It can't... It can't end...
446
00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:59,080
I wanted to tell you earlier
with everyone else,
447
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:01,800
but you weren't there, and then
you told me about Alex, so...
448
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:04,290
I mean, it's... it's, uh... it's wild.
449
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,810
But, um, congrats?
450
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,520
Thanks.
451
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,130
- Yeah. Congrats.
- Thank you.
452
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,810
- Congrats.
- Hello?
453
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,690
- Right. Okay.
- Yeah. Oh. Right.
454
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:16,400
Um, Alex...
455
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,370
Just because I'm not there
456
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:21,730
doesn't mean that the school
isn't filled with great teachers.
457
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,300
A-And Mr. Eddie is right next door
458
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,586
in case you ever need anything.
459
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,500
- Right?
- Yeah.
460
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:29,790
I'll be right there if you ever need me.
461
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,910
I don't know.
462
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,080
Alex, what do you want
to be when you grow up?
463
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:37,599
I want to be on "The Price Is Right."
464
00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:40,300
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
465
00:17:40,330 --> 00:17:44,030
Well, then you need to learn math
466
00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:47,010
- in order to make your guesses.
- Hm!
467
00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:48,979
- Not to mention communication skills...
- Mm-hmm.
468
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:49,990
... critical thinking,
469
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:51,890
and understanding of
socioeconomic inflation.
470
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,320
And you have to take P.E.
471
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,540
to spin the big wheel, which is fun.
472
00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:56,720
- Yeah. That, too.
- Right?
473
00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:58,860
And you have to learn
all that stuff in school.
474
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:02,780
Look.
475
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,250
Teachers are gonna come
and go in your life.
476
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,260
Heck, people, for that matter.
477
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,750
You'd still play Plinko
478
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,885
even if Drew Carey
wasn't the host, right?
479
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,430
I'd still play.
480
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,800
Okay. So... can we expect
you at school tomorrow?
481
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:20,800
$500, so you got $1,500...
482
00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:21,851
Okay.
483
00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:23,580
- Good. Okay.
- Okay.
484
00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:26,890
And maybe, one day, you
can go on a game show
485
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,100
and win a new refrigerator
for your grandma.
486
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,220
That boy better at least win me a Kia!
487
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:34,640
Good luck! Good luck! Come on! Ugh!
488
00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:37,980
So, how do we make sure he
actually shows up every day?
489
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:39,920
Um,
490
00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:42,759
you know, maybe the Goofballs
can help keep an eye on him.
491
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,464
Part of my proposal is
about keeping the students
492
00:18:44,465 --> 00:18:46,345
accountable for each other
while in the program.
493
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,640
That's a really good idea.
494
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,970
I look forward to seeing the
proposal at the district.
495
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,790
Congratulations on taking the job.
496
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,290
No one deserves it more.
497
00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,340
Thanks. Still hasn't really hit me yet.
498
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,290
Yeah, I don't think
it's hit me yet, either.
499
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:13,720
"And with that in mind,
I ask but one question...
500
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,600
Are any of us clean?"
501
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:16,740
Huh!
502
00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:19,400
It's breathtaking, Mr. Johnson.
503
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:21,020
I apologize, truly.
504
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,270
I accept...
505
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,740
twenties or gift cards
of the same value.
506
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,100
Upon self-reflection,
507
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,160
perhaps I did overdo it with my e-mails.
508
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,820
I am so sorry for getting
so upset with you both.
509
00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:33,950
It is okay.
510
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,700
We shouldn't have used technology
511
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,580
to mislead you into
thinking that we care.
512
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,240
Yeah, from now on, we'll
just delete your e-mails
513
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,660
like normal people do.
514
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,220
I am so grateful for that.
515
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,650
Thank you for your humanity.
516
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,370
Hey, Gregory.
517
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:59,140
Hey. I'm just calling to let you
know that Alex is back in school.
518
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,400
He's even early.
519
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,730
Ohh. Good. That's great news.
520
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:04,070
Yeah. It is.
521
00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:06,910
You know, we make a really good team.
522
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:10,660
Yeah, we do.
523
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,630
- Have a great day.
- You too.
524
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,900
Hey, there!
525
00:20:25,930 --> 00:20:28,370
So, they tell me you're gonna
be here full-time! Hmm!
526
00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:29,859
- Yeah.
- So I'm just here to drop off
527
00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:33,640
- your start paperwork.
- Oh, um...
528
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,810
You know what? Can I have a day?
529
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,100
I'm just so swamped.
530
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,571
Oh, and the rest of us aren't?
531
00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:41,199
But, of course! Take your time.
532
00:20:42,070 --> 00:20:43,160
Mm-hmm.
533
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,139
Farrah's gonna come right back to me
534
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:56,850
after I give her these flowers.
535
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,790
Dude, that's cabbage!
536
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:01,480
Hey, guys, we have a new Goofball.
537
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,140
I want everyone to say hi to Alex.
538
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,630
What's up? Let me bring
you up to speed, Alex.
539
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,392
First rule of Goofballs...
We don't talk about Goofballs.
540
00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:10,670
- That's not true.
- Second rule of Goofballs...
541
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,040
We don't call it Goofballs.
542
00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:14,100
Okay, stop it. I need you
to be older and mature,
543
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:15,530
'cause we're trying to ke...
544
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,289
We gotta keep an eye on him!
Okay, Alex! Hold on!
545
00:21:17,290 --> 00:21:18,989
No, no, no, no! Wait!
Wait, wait, wait! Okay.
546
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:20,446
Alright. Look. "Price Is
Right" is not even on.
547
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,140
It's not even on! You're so fast!
548
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:28,579
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --