1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:03,712
Melissa!
2
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:06,190
Hey, um, I have to supervise this quiz,
3
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,625
but if you see Mr. Johnson,
4
00:00:07,650 --> 00:00:09,736
can you just let him know
that I may need a spare key?
5
00:00:09,761 --> 00:00:11,054
I blanked where I put mine.
6
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,497
You better not lose our house key.
7
00:00:12,522 --> 00:00:14,149
My cousin Billy just got out.
8
00:00:14,174 --> 00:00:16,843
But sure, I'll tell him if I see him.
9
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,685
Hey, if you see Mr. Johnson,
10
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,395
can you tell him that
Jacob may need a...
11
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,858
Dia, tell Mr. Johnson
that Jacob needs to find...
12
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:30,328
Mr. Johnson?!
13
00:00:31,546 --> 00:00:32,588
- Janine!
- Yeah?
14
00:00:32,613 --> 00:00:33,823
Have you seen Mr. Johnson?
15
00:00:33,848 --> 00:00:34,974
Before, yeah. Today, no.
16
00:00:34,999 --> 00:00:36,834
If you do, can you let him know
17
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,247
- that Jacob desperately needs...
- Make some noise!
18
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,416
Oh, my God. That sounds time-sensitive.
19
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,140
Okay, yeah.
I'll let him know right away.
20
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,295
There you are.
21
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:48,006
Wasn't easy, but I got you
a mariachi band for lesson time.
22
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,175
What? I said I may need a spare key.
23
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,426
I blanked where I put mine.
24
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,928
That's not what I was told.
25
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:55,055
Also, you need to clean
the upstairs bathroom.
26
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,182
This took a long time to put together.
27
00:01:06,422 --> 00:01:10,422
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
28
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,286
Oh, they look so good.
29
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,005
Come on.
30
00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:20,990
Mother's Day has become
very important to me
31
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,351
ever since I lost my mom
a few years ago.
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00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,752
I like to do something special
every year.
33
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,172
And this year, I'm in charge
of the hallway decorations,
34
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,505
so the students can show
appreciation for their moms.
35
00:01:32,530 --> 00:01:35,074
- I think the moms are gonna love these.
- Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:35,099 --> 00:01:36,912
You know, when I was a kid,
I always made sure
37
00:01:36,937 --> 00:01:39,408
I did just enough to stay
in my mom's top five.
38
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,436
Top five? How many siblings do you have?
39
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,451
Hey, so I got my sisters
Kristin Marie, Marie,
40
00:01:45,476 --> 00:01:46,978
Mary Camille, Maria Christina,
41
00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:48,379
my sister Toni, my brother Tony,
42
00:01:48,404 --> 00:01:50,406
John Anthony, and Seamus.
43
00:01:50,431 --> 00:01:52,600
It's a different dad.
44
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:54,669
Barb, do you need me to bring
anything else to the house
45
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,138
on Sunday besides lasagna?
46
00:01:56,163 --> 00:01:58,540
You know I handle everything
for Mother's Day.
47
00:01:58,565 --> 00:02:00,442
And the only reason I'm letting
you bring the lasagna
48
00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:02,594
is because Gerald
won't shut up about it.
49
00:02:02,619 --> 00:02:04,371
If either of you
have a hankering afterward
50
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,626
for bottomless mimosas,
I will be at Mothered Day,
51
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,795
which is a themed drag brunch
over at Rubensteins,
52
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,669
celebrating all of our mothers.
53
00:02:10,694 --> 00:02:12,529
Oh, I wish I could, kid,
54
00:02:12,554 --> 00:02:15,807
but I'm going to my mom's after,
and I can't show up drunk.
55
00:02:15,832 --> 00:02:17,876
- Mm.
- It's a family tradition.
56
00:02:17,901 --> 00:02:20,028
On Mother's Day,
we get drunk as a family.
57
00:02:20,053 --> 00:02:21,680
Especially Seamus.
58
00:02:21,705 --> 00:02:23,707
So, Janine,
what about you and your sister?
59
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:24,873
Anything nice planned?
60
00:02:24,898 --> 00:02:27,414
Oh, no, I'll be at drag brunch, also,
61
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,608
because my mom doesn't like
celebrating Mother's Day.
62
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,169
Says it's her least favorite holiday.
63
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,780
And my sister's gonna be
celebrating with her dad and stepmom.
64
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,474
Oh, you two have different dads?
65
00:02:35,499 --> 00:02:37,167
Of course, they do.
66
00:02:37,192 --> 00:02:38,512
You thought with that height difference
67
00:02:38,537 --> 00:02:40,410
they had the same father?
68
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,746
Janine's dad is probably
Kevin Hart or something.
69
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:44,279
'Cause he short.
70
00:02:47,025 --> 00:02:51,195
So, unfun fact, I actually
don't know who my dad is.
71
00:02:51,241 --> 00:02:53,202
I used to think about it a lot
when I was younger,
72
00:02:53,227 --> 00:02:55,854
but then, you know, I guess
I just kinda stopped.
73
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,888
And I know Ava was joking,
74
00:02:57,913 --> 00:03:01,959
but my mom did know
Kevin Hart in high school.
75
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,101
And we're both really funny.
76
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,478
So... mm.
77
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,724
Hey, Ava, um, please tell me
you got a chance
78
00:03:08,749 --> 00:03:10,191
to go over the field trip options.
79
00:03:10,216 --> 00:03:11,708
If we want to get
the Natural History Museum,
80
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,110
we got to move, like, ASAP because...
81
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,029
Oh. I forgot to tell you. Not happening.
82
00:03:15,054 --> 00:03:16,380
We don't have money for a field trip.
83
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,318
So, what? We just cancel
the trip this year?
84
00:03:18,343 --> 00:03:19,763
I would rather die.
85
00:03:19,788 --> 00:03:21,510
My cousin Jamil just opened a cemetery.
86
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,246
This school always finds a way
to disappoint me.
87
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,857
Okay, that's not great.
88
00:03:25,882 --> 00:03:28,500
Well, if you can figure out a
way to get money for a field trip,
89
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,627
then you won't have to
disappoint all of us.
90
00:03:32,138 --> 00:03:34,391
Barb, you really nailed this.
91
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:36,501
- Thank you.
- What?
92
00:03:36,526 --> 00:03:39,487
"Thanks, Moms"? What is that, sarcasm?
93
00:03:41,106 --> 00:03:42,399
Find what matches.
94
00:03:42,424 --> 00:03:44,083
That's how you know
what's gonna rhyme, okay?
95
00:03:44,108 --> 00:03:45,568
Gregory.
96
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,077
Can we talk to you, please?
97
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,020
Uh, yeah.
98
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,606
Um, I'll be right back, y'all.
99
00:03:53,437 --> 00:03:55,252
Um, is there something you need?
100
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,927
Every other class
has made touching tributes
101
00:03:57,952 --> 00:03:59,746
to their mothers for the hallway.
102
00:03:59,771 --> 00:04:01,731
And then I saw yours.
103
00:04:01,756 --> 00:04:03,982
Oh, it left much to be desired.
104
00:04:04,007 --> 00:04:06,050
Right, well, I told my students
they could participate
105
00:04:06,075 --> 00:04:07,543
if they wanted to, and some of them did.
106
00:04:07,568 --> 00:04:08,966
Oh. Typical guy.
107
00:04:08,991 --> 00:04:11,435
You know, my brothers phone it
in for Mother's Day, too.
108
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:14,421
I mean, Tony's got an excuse.
He's locked up.
109
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,423
For a non-violent crime.
110
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,884
Don't you want all
of your students to participate?
111
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,093
I mean, think about it.
112
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,576
Wouldn't your mom be disappointed
113
00:04:21,601 --> 00:04:23,864
if you didn't do something
special for her this year?
114
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:27,517
- Mm-hmm.
- Um... no.
115
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,686
Um, because my mom passed away
when I was 9.
116
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,427
Oh, Gregory.
117
00:04:31,452 --> 00:04:32,998
I'm... I'm sorry. I-I didn't...
118
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,067
Why didn't you bring this up before?
119
00:04:35,092 --> 00:04:36,960
There's not a lot of natural segues.
120
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,404
Like, "Oh, how was your weekend?"
"My mom died when I was 9."
121
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,858
Okay, well, maybe not that,
but, you know, in that area.
122
00:04:41,883 --> 00:04:44,469
And I know this holiday
must be difficult for you.
123
00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:47,621
It's really okay. I usually
just stop by Topgolf.
124
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,331
It's Mother's Day,
so the dads are usually busy,
125
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,707
so I have the whole place to myself.
126
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,752
Mr. Eddie, Damien won't stop poking me.
127
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,972
Excuse me.
128
00:04:54,997 --> 00:04:56,646
What's going on with y'all today?
129
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,757
- Barbara.
- Oh.
130
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,941
I cannot sit around knowing that
young man will be sad and alone
131
00:05:02,966 --> 00:05:05,803
- at Topless Golf.
- Okay, I think it's Topgolf.
132
00:05:05,828 --> 00:05:08,824
Well, either way, he should join
us for family brunch on Sunday.
133
00:05:08,849 --> 00:05:10,976
- That is a great idea.
- Mm-hmm.
134
00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:13,497
And you know what?
Actually, so is Topless Golf.
135
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,816
I mean, give me a warm climate,
I'm down for 18.
136
00:05:19,304 --> 00:05:20,930
Hey, you got a sec?
137
00:05:20,955 --> 00:05:22,785
Ava says we don't have
any money for a field trip,
138
00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:25,229
but I mean, we can't just...
we can't just give up on it.
139
00:05:25,254 --> 00:05:26,652
How do you start a GoFundMe?
140
00:05:26,677 --> 00:05:28,246
Jacob, you don't think
height is genetic, do you?
141
00:05:28,271 --> 00:05:30,019
I mean, like, no field trip this year?
142
00:05:30,044 --> 00:05:31,838
That is... That really gets my goat.
143
00:05:31,863 --> 00:05:33,990
We just need, like,
a little bit of coin and...
144
00:05:34,015 --> 00:05:35,560
I mean, that'd be crazy if my dad, like,
145
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,972
sold out Madison Square Garden
for a comedy show.
146
00:05:37,997 --> 00:05:39,815
Wait, you're not being serious, are you?
147
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,707
Ava was just being Ava.
148
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:44,151
Yeah, no, I know, but...
149
00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:47,097
- my mom actually did know him, so...
- Oh, really?
150
00:05:47,122 --> 00:05:48,790
Well, why don't you just
call her up and ask?
151
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,601
No, that's too bananas.
152
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,270
Unless...
153
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,730
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Why not?
154
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,649
- It is almost Mother's Day.
- Okay, you do that thing.
155
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,277
- I'm gonna get started on this thang.
- Okay.
156
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,493
Hey, girl. I'm just at the hair salon.
157
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,912
Oh, hey, Mom. You actually picked up.
158
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:14,124
Oh, girl, I gotta save you
as "daughter Janine."
159
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,167
I thought you were
"parole officer Janine."
160
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,086
I'm actually in Canada.
161
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,338
Sure. I'll just get to the point then.
162
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,382
Uh, Mom, you said
you went to high school
163
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,968
- with Kevin Hart, right?
- Sure did.
164
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,429
He was the star of the basketball team.
165
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,472
He won the dunk contest and everything.
166
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,266
Craziest I've ever seen.
167
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,168
Yeah, that is crazy.
168
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:36,371
You two didn't, like, date,
right, or anything?
169
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,690
Date?! Girl, no. I would never.
170
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:40,984
But we did though.
171
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,207
Look, I gotta go.
172
00:06:42,232 --> 00:06:44,671
Somebody is trying to put
gravy on my fries.
173
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:47,115
Now, hold up, Jack.
What is this "aboot"?
174
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,050
Look at us standing all nice and tall.
175
00:06:51,075 --> 00:06:52,118
Proud of you.
176
00:06:52,143 --> 00:06:55,355
You guys over here, don't stress.
177
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:58,591
Life, uh, finds a way.
178
00:06:58,616 --> 00:07:01,146
Gregory, I see you
talking to your plants.
179
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,089
It's supposed to stimulate growth.
180
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,504
Well, I read that the ones
tended to the most
181
00:07:05,529 --> 00:07:06,735
grow the strongest.
182
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,136
It's a delicate balance.
183
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:11,414
Over-watering and over-pruning
can sometimes smother a plant.
184
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,933
Well, I'm having
a Mother's Day gathering
185
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,560
at my home on Sunday,
186
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,354
and I would love it
if you would join us.
187
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,439
Oh, it's okay. Really. I'm good. Tha...
188
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,483
Oh, we're going to have
family and friends
189
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,605
and a spread that even you will enjoy,
190
00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:25,924
and I won't take no for an answer.
191
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,657
Okay. Well, I'll be there.
192
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,949
Can I bring anything?
193
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,994
Please don't.
194
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,873
Obviously, this means a lot
to Barbara, so I'll stop by.
195
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,250
Swing by. Fly by.
196
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,067
The point is, this is gonna be quick.
197
00:07:41,107 --> 00:07:43,480
So, to find out if Kevin Hart
is actually my dad,
198
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,048
I'm contacting him on every platform,
199
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,257
starting with Venmo.
200
00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:47,881
- Love that for us.
- Mm-hmm.
201
00:07:47,906 --> 00:07:49,319
And you would think
I'd be requesting money.
202
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,411
But no. Actually,
I'm sending him a dollar.
203
00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:53,271
Whoa, what the "H"?
204
00:07:53,296 --> 00:07:55,131
I just got an e-mail saying
that the GoFundMe
205
00:07:55,156 --> 00:07:56,950
for the field trip has been taken down.
206
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,645
"Due to constant fraudulent activity,
207
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,189
all fundraisers related
to 'Abbott Elementary'
208
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,247
have been suspended."
209
00:08:02,272 --> 00:08:03,942
Damn, they shut it down already?
210
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:05,543
Abott with one B,
Abbottt with three T's,
211
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,278
and Addington are burned, too.
212
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,738
Burned? Ava, what did you do?
213
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:09,778
What didn't I do?
214
00:08:09,803 --> 00:08:11,566
You will never understand
what it takes to be a principal.
215
00:08:12,866 --> 00:08:15,013
You could bust out
Janine Teagues Elementary.
216
00:08:15,038 --> 00:08:17,290
No. No, that's stupid.
217
00:08:17,315 --> 00:08:19,067
- Or is it?
- I can hear you.
218
00:08:19,092 --> 00:08:20,510
But you can't stop me.
219
00:08:20,535 --> 00:08:23,269
Jacob, why don't you just go
to this week's PTA meeting?
220
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,671
I mean, if they're gonna exist,
221
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,005
they might as well do something.
222
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,294
Oh.
223
00:08:27,319 --> 00:08:29,446
Oh.
224
00:08:29,471 --> 00:08:31,807
Oh, Melissa Schemmenti, you are good.
225
00:08:31,832 --> 00:08:33,005
Yeah, what a surprise.
226
00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:35,532
And, Janine, I don't know
how nuts you want to get here,
227
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,770
but I do know a guy
who knows Kevin Hart's barber.
228
00:08:37,795 --> 00:08:40,537
I introduced him to his
wife. Well, now his ex-wife,
229
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,044
but technically, he still owes me.
230
00:08:42,069 --> 00:08:44,071
We get some of his hair... run the DNA.
231
00:08:44,096 --> 00:08:45,806
Barbers. I hate 'em.
232
00:08:45,831 --> 00:08:47,749
Who do you think did this to me?
233
00:08:47,774 --> 00:08:50,360
The worst barber of all... time.
234
00:08:50,385 --> 00:08:52,471
Melissa, that is demented.
235
00:08:52,496 --> 00:08:54,664
I love it.
236
00:08:54,689 --> 00:08:56,845
Look, it drove my brother Seamus crazy
237
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,153
not knowing who his dad was.
238
00:08:58,178 --> 00:09:00,889
That's why he drinks.
And other reasons, too.
239
00:09:00,914 --> 00:09:02,291
And I don't want that for Janine.
240
00:09:04,791 --> 00:09:07,716
Tariq, my man, my dude, my prez.
241
00:09:07,741 --> 00:09:09,410
Hey, I was hoping we could talk funds
242
00:09:09,435 --> 00:09:11,103
for a potential field trip.
243
00:09:11,128 --> 00:09:13,255
Oh, what's up, Jacob?
Oh, wait. That sounds dope.
244
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,407
- I love going on those.
- So, you can help fund it?
245
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,140
Oh, no. Unh-unh.
246
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,808
Not with human money.
247
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,388
We in the red, baby. Or the black.
248
00:09:21,413 --> 00:09:23,146
Which one means a negative cash flow?
249
00:09:24,676 --> 00:09:26,511
Is that... Is that sushi?
250
00:09:26,536 --> 00:09:29,286
Come on, man. Don't disrespect
Mr. Yanaga like that.
251
00:09:29,311 --> 00:09:31,772
You know damn well this is nigiri.
252
00:09:31,797 --> 00:09:33,757
Don't you think you should
be prioritizing activities
253
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,076
that actually benefit the students?
254
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,575
Let me break this down for you.
255
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,310
We got to level up this food,
256
00:09:39,335 --> 00:09:41,504
make the PTA a club
people actually wanna join.
257
00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:42,825
Then boom.
258
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:45,317
We're gonna hit them with them
higher mandatory donations.
259
00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:47,969
By 2027, quarter four,
we'll be profitable.
260
00:09:47,994 --> 00:09:50,789
- Okay, well, I can't wait until 2027.
- Quarter four.
261
00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:53,400
I was hoping to get something,
like, the end of this year.
262
00:09:53,425 --> 00:09:56,261
Best I can offer is
some volunteer chaperones,
263
00:09:56,286 --> 00:09:58,455
transportation, and kanpachi.
264
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,560
Hmm. Get you one of these.
265
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:06,940
Good, ain't it?
266
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,110
Kanpai, Yanaga-san.
267
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,405
Welcome, Gregory.
268
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,783
I'm so happy you could make it.
269
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,442
Niecey, come down!
270
00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:20,010
You know my husband.
271
00:10:20,035 --> 00:10:22,830
Melissa, I told you I will handle that.
272
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,307
She's been like this all day.
273
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,251
Honestly, she's been like this
every holiday
274
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,128
- since her mom passed.
- I told you I got it.
275
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,513
Can you take the macaroni
and cheese out the oven?
276
00:10:29,538 --> 00:10:30,998
Right. In a moment.
277
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,509
Everybody, please welcome Gregory,
278
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,511
who's going to be spending
Mother's Day with us
279
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:39,013
- because he had no place else to go.
- Not true.
280
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,640
I did have somewhere else to go
and still do.
281
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,809
He's going to be a part
of our family today
282
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,602
because there was no way
that I could let
283
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,771
a fellow child of bereavement
284
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,566
spend this day alone, isn't that right?
285
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,901
Aunt Barbara,
I need help with baby Maya.
286
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,362
Alright, niecey.
287
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,216
So sorry for your loss.
288
00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:57,757
It's okay. It was over 20 years ago.
289
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:58,992
Are your family huggers?
290
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,050
No.
291
00:11:00,075 --> 00:11:01,703
Well, we are here.
292
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,288
Oh, okay.
293
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,582
Mm.
294
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,000
Thank you.
295
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,585
Th-Thanks.
296
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,711
Mm-hmm.
297
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,172
Oh, hey, Taylor.
298
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,674
This is my ex, Gregory.
299
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,060
Gregory.
300
00:11:16,085 --> 00:11:18,003
Nice to meet you.
301
00:11:18,028 --> 00:11:20,531
And your grief is Paul's grief.
302
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,600
Oh, more touching. Okay.
303
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:24,989
Okay.
304
00:11:25,202 --> 00:11:26,497
Thank you.
305
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,397
♪ Quite another mess ♪
306
00:11:30,422 --> 00:11:32,257
♪ And Mama used to say ♪
307
00:11:32,282 --> 00:11:34,827
♪ "Take your time, young man" ♪
308
00:11:34,852 --> 00:11:36,421
♪ And Mama used to say ♪
309
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,138
Hey, y'all are ruining
drag brunch for me.
310
00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:40,491
I'm sorry. It's just that
any second, I could find out
311
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:41,701
if Kevin Hart is my dad.
312
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,536
It's giving me a heart attack.
313
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,830
Pun very much intended and pre-planned.
314
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,457
My fingers are crossed, girl.
315
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,584
'Cause I could finally pitch him
my idea for "Get Hard 2."
316
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,295
Pbht. Come on. You wouldn't make
a sequel to "Citizen Kane."
317
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,380
Move over.
There's no seats left anywhere.
318
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,007
Ava, what are you doing here?
319
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,218
My friend Lisa Condo
is the best drag queen here.
320
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,344
- Hey.
- Hey, girl.
321
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,722
Hey. Is your house hunt
dragging you down?
322
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,810
- Still no luck on the field trip, huh?
- How am I gonna
323
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,395
look the children in the eye
the rest of the year?
324
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,731
- I have failed them.
- Jacob, you have no money,
325
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,608
no help, and a hard-headed principal.
326
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,485
Cheer up. It's gonna get worse
before it gets worse.
327
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,321
What's wrong with you?
328
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,698
She waiting to find out
if Kevin Hart is her daddy.
329
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,659
Damn. My words really have meaning, huh?
330
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,328
I should be more reckless.
331
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,348
Barbara, where do you keep the Clorox?
332
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:29,389
Baby Maya got sick.
333
00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:31,100
I will get it in a second, Alicia,
334
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,169
but please take a seat.
335
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,838
Alright, everyone.
336
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,299
Before we feast,
337
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:42,387
we are going to lift up our
brother Gregory Eddie in prayer.
338
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,311
Mm-hmm. We'll put healing hands on him.
339
00:12:44,336 --> 00:12:46,671
Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
No, we don't need to do that.
340
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,893
Alright, please.
341
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,562
Everybody, bow your heads,
342
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,147
and close your eyes.
343
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:59,533
Father God, we are gathered
here to celebrate mothers,
344
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,700
and also to empower Gregory Eddie.
345
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,006
Yes, Lord. Mm.
346
00:13:05,031 --> 00:13:07,242
Please, Father, watch over...
347
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,746
What was your mother's name?
348
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,957
- That's not necessary.
- Oh, sure, it is.
349
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,850
It was, um... Faith.
350
00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:16,482
- Here we go.
- Mm. Faith.
351
00:13:16,507 --> 00:13:19,468
Faith, the substance of things hoped for
352
00:13:19,493 --> 00:13:22,288
and the evidence of things unseen.
353
00:13:22,313 --> 00:13:23,480
Yes, Lord.
354
00:13:23,505 --> 00:13:24,965
And just because he cannot see Faith
355
00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:26,992
doesn't mean he doesn't have
faith that Faith is with him.
356
00:13:27,017 --> 00:13:28,435
- Faith.
- Ooh. Yes, Lord.
357
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,643
Um... I gotta go.
358
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,020
God is watching.
359
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,564
- Tee time.
- Close your eyes.
360
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,940
Father God, we are asking
361
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:40,570
that you hold him close
in your deepest bosom,
362
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,614
since his mother is
not here to do it herself.
363
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,616
Yes, Lord, hold him tight, Lord.
364
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,410
Amen. Yes, Lord. Thank you.
365
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,703
There it is. Uh-huh.
366
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,621
This was great. Fantastic.
367
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,749
Thank you so much.
368
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,709
Uh... excuse me.
369
00:13:58,549 --> 00:13:59,967
Gregory.
370
00:14:00,389 --> 00:14:03,717
Gregory, where are you going?
371
00:14:03,742 --> 00:14:05,403
I'm sorry. I appreciate everything.
372
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,929
Your family is lovely.
373
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,306
I wanted to stop by for a bit,
and I did.
374
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,724
Now I have to head off to Topgolf.
375
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,852
It's Mother's Day.
You need to be around community.
376
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,562
No, I need to be alone,
hitting golf balls.
377
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,787
- Oh, that's so sad.
- It's not.
378
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:19,357
Having to talk about my dead
mother over and over again is sad.
379
00:14:19,382 --> 00:14:21,919
But we're honoring her. It's tradition.
380
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:25,323
It's your tradition, not mine.
381
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,873
Thank you for having me.
382
00:14:36,271 --> 00:14:38,440
♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪
383
00:14:38,465 --> 00:14:40,634
Can you imagine if Kevin Hart is my dad?
384
00:14:40,659 --> 00:14:42,118
Oh, no.
385
00:14:42,143 --> 00:14:44,759
Are people gonna think I got
my job because I'm a nepo baby?
386
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:47,053
♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪
387
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,429
Oh, my God. It's the DNA guy.
388
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,389
If he is your dad, you two
should buy a trench coat,
389
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,517
so you could go to R-rated movies.
390
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,935
Well, aren't you gonna open it?
391
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,394
- Mm-hmm. Okay.
- Open the e-mail, Janine.
392
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,479
And read with some flair.
393
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,928
Okay.
394
00:14:57,953 --> 00:15:01,456
"When it comes to 27-year-old
Janine Teagues, Kevin Hart...
395
00:15:01,481 --> 00:15:03,442
is not the father."
396
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,365
Whoo! That's right.
397
00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:07,215
Lock up that frown, doll.
398
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,699
The girls are doing kicks!
399
00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:10,143
- Sorry, Janine.
- Sorry, girl.
400
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,703
I'll get us a round.
401
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,043
And watch over Barbara, Lord.
402
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,838
She lost her mother some years ago.
403
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,548
Please bring peace to her troubled soul.
404
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:24,882
Mm-hmm. Let her grieve today.
405
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,146
- Hallelujah, amen.
- Amen.
406
00:15:27,171 --> 00:15:28,611
- Now, let's dig in.
- Okay.
407
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,639
- Oh, the pie!
- Let me help, Barb.
408
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:35,643
I got it, Melissa. I got it.
409
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,022
Oh!
410
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,191
Ooh. I think it's overcooked.
411
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,037
It's perfect, Barb.
412
00:15:44,062 --> 00:15:45,438
Something happen with Gregory?
413
00:15:45,463 --> 00:15:47,131
No, he just had to go. That's all.
414
00:15:47,156 --> 00:15:49,909
Mom, are you okay?
415
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,200
I'm okay.
416
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,162
Because, you know, today's a
lot for one person to shoulder.
417
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,455
And, Mom, today is about you, too.
418
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,541
If you need a moment,
just take a moment.
419
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,126
Yeah. We got this.
420
00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:05,099
- Maybe you're right.
- Yeah.
421
00:16:05,124 --> 00:16:07,623
Baby puke will be here
when you get back.
422
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,469
I'm kidding.
I'll have someone clean it up.
423
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,723
Sometimes we can put
an immense amount of pressure
424
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,267
on ourselves to host
the perfect gathering,
425
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,270
to feel a certain way.
426
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:25,276
And quite frankly, sometimes
it's just overwhelming.
427
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,613
You enjoying the show?
428
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,031
Definitely.
429
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,160
Oh, I... I only have fives left.
430
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,083
Thank you.
431
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,710
Well, if you enjoyed this,
432
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,170
you should come and check out
our performance
433
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,674
of "A Midsummer Night's Queen"
434
00:16:45,699 --> 00:16:47,757
for our upcoming
Shakesqueer In The Park.
435
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,091
Entry's always free.
436
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,552
♪ Keep it coming, don't stop, mama ♪
437
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,054
♪ Give it to me ♪
438
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,391
Hey, you was fine before you got
439
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,227
all this nonsense in your head, right?
440
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,647
Yeah, it's just it would've
been nice to finally know.
441
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:05,399
I don't know who my dad is,
and I turned out fine.
442
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,651
Literally, look at me.
443
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,985
Exactly.
444
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,590
Janine, you'd rather have no dad
445
00:17:09,615 --> 00:17:10,741
than a neglectful one.
446
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,323
- Trust me.
- True.
447
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:15,034
I mean, look at you.
How far you've made it?
448
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,661
How beautiful your best friend is.
449
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,664
Kevin Hart or any daddy
wouldn't have changed that.
450
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:23,209
Yeah. You're still Janine,
and that's not too bad.
451
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:27,739
You know, your parents
don't define who you are.
452
00:17:27,764 --> 00:17:31,810
I'm happy, and I stand on my own.
453
00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:35,172
I mean, I literally had to learn
how to stand on my own.
454
00:17:35,197 --> 00:17:37,240
Houston, we have liftoff!
455
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,892
We are having a field trip!
456
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:40,836
- We're going to NASA?
- What? No.
457
00:17:40,861 --> 00:17:42,115
Okay, what's the field trip?
458
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:44,686
Museums are nice, but kids
can have fun anywhere.
459
00:17:44,711 --> 00:17:46,379
They don't need some expensive trip.
460
00:17:46,404 --> 00:17:48,709
So, I was thinking
Smith Memorial Playground.
461
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:49,873
- It's free.
- Yes.
462
00:17:49,898 --> 00:17:52,115
And schools take
field trips there all the time.
463
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:54,772
Ooh, that big wooden slide.
Okay, NASA can wait.
464
00:17:54,797 --> 00:17:56,758
And Tariq said the PTA could chaperone.
465
00:17:56,783 --> 00:17:58,094
Ha! I have figured it out.
466
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,870
Boom! I've done it again.
467
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,334
Is there no mountain too high?
468
00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,195
Okay, the only problem is we
need to reserve it, like, now.
469
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:06,222
Oof! They are popular,
470
00:18:06,247 --> 00:18:08,750
and we need to make reservations
for the entire school.
471
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,340
What you gonna do?
472
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,045
Maybe we could, like...
Ava, if you could...
473
00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:15,238
Oh, no.
474
00:18:15,263 --> 00:18:17,390
Attention, everyone!
475
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:25,146
Queens unite!
476
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,775
Hi, everyone.
477
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,111
Um, listen, we need your help
to reserve a park.
478
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,282
Wait, wait! For... For children in need.
479
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,959
Yeah. Yeah.
480
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,653
So, everyone, get on your phones
481
00:18:39,678 --> 00:18:41,429
and start reserving beaucoup slots
482
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,467
at Smith Memorial Playground,
and forward them over.
483
00:18:43,492 --> 00:18:45,035
Yeah, you heard her!
484
00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:46,812
If you wanna see these hip vibrations,
485
00:18:46,837 --> 00:18:48,477
you better make them reservations.
486
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,014
We're a good team.
So, shantay, you stay.
487
00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:52,541
- Okay.
- And, Jacob, you come.
488
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,317
- You want to get off the stage?
- Yeah.
489
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,535
I feel like you should
probably get off the stage.
490
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:56,569
Thank you.
491
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,555
You should come on.
492
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,736
This isn't as sad as I thought.
493
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,113
Barbara, I'm not going
back to your house.
494
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,615
I know, I know.
495
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,408
I came to apologize.
496
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,577
You were just trying to make
sure that I felt included.
497
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,428
My mother was the same way,
498
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,639
always trying to make sure
that everyone was happy.
499
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,374
She sounds like a wonderful person.
500
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,419
She was the best.
501
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,755
You know, on this day, everyone
will always ask me about her,
502
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,633
and they mean well,
but it's the unexpected moments
503
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,885
- on random days.
- Yeah.
504
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,806
I don't need Mother's Day
to remind me to love my mom.
505
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,684
I can understand that.
506
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,727
The other day, I was in a funk.
507
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:50,398
And one of my students came up
and made a funny face at me.
508
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,942
My mother used to do the same thing,
509
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,487
always reminding me
not to take life too seriously.
510
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:57,988
I love that.
511
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,700
And now, if you will excuse me,
512
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,203
I am going to swing a few home runs.
513
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,914
I'll leave you to it.
514
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:14,397
All I'm saying is I love
bottomless mimosas.
515
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,506
Why can't I be a part
of the Brunch Squad?
516
00:20:16,531 --> 00:20:19,147
Well, it's actually the Brunchy
Bunch, but you know what?
517
00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:20,549
Next time you're coming, okay?
518
00:20:20,574 --> 00:20:22,158
I told her to invite you.
519
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,889
Janine never ceases to disappoint.
520
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,477
Who is this? Hmm.
521
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,230
Oh, my God. Kevin Hart.
522
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,773
- Kevin Hart?
- Oh, my God.
523
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,567
You doing Cameos now? Damn.
524
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,609
The game is crazy.
525
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:36,902
So, you're Janine Teagues?
526
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,362
- Yeah. Yes.
- Okay.
527
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,948
Why... Why have you been
harassing me on social media?
528
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:44,795
Oh, um, so, I am so sorry
about that, Mr. Hart.
529
00:20:44,820 --> 00:20:48,545
Um, it's just that I thought
that maybe you were my dad.
530
00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:50,071
- Why would you think that?
- Yeah.
531
00:20:50,096 --> 00:20:51,517
Why the hell would you think that?
532
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,335
Well, it's... it's because, um,
533
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,920
you know, my mom, she said that you guys
534
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,547
went to high school together,
535
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,507
and that you guys
intercoursed each other.
536
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,889
And, um, her name is Vanetta.
You familiar?
537
00:21:00,914 --> 00:21:03,154
- Oh Vanetta.
- Yeah.
538
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:06,098
I promise you it wasn't me,
'cause I strap up.
539
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,350
- Always have. So, unfollow me.
- Alright, will do.
540
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,768
- On everything.
- Sorry.
541
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:10,978
- Okay.
- Okay.
542
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,646
Oh Mr. Johnson!
543
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,648
Yeah.
544
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,317
Great to see you again, my brother.
545
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,015
Yeah, Mr. Johnson also...
he works here with me.
546
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,500
- I don't want to talk to you.
- Oh, okay. Alright.
547
00:21:21,525 --> 00:21:23,235
- I don't want to talk to you.
- Okay. Bye.
548
00:21:23,523 --> 00:21:27,523
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