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Field trip worksheets!
Hot off the press!
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What in the hot hell is this?
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Today is thee day... two E's...
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that we go to Smith Memorial Playground.
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We're not gonna be
the only school there,
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but we did snag the last reservations.
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And I made worksheets
so that it can be educational.
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This is gonna be,
like, the best field trip ever.
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Jacob, nobody needs this.
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You pulled off a field trip
with no money and no help.
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Baby, relax.
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Yeah, we're going to the park.
Kids don't wanna work.
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- Mnh-mnh.
- We don't wanna work.
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Ava definitely don't wanna work.
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I never do.
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And today, I get to not work
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while lounging in my air chair.
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I love furniture that rhymes.
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Yeah, so knock it off
with the worksheets
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or you're gonna ruin this trip.
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Ah! Morton.
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For all your flaws,
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I know you appreciate
the value of education.
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Thanks, buddy. You're a lifesaver.
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[MAKER'S "HOLD'EM" PLAYING]
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- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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One for you.
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Oh, here we go.
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- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
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- I'll see you.
- Okay.
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Gregory.
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I just witnessed that interaction
between you and Janine.
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Putting on her coat for her
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was practically pornographic.
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What's going on, man?
Am I... Did I miss something?
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- I'm gonna tell her how I feel.
- Yay!
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- When I find the exact right time.
- Boo!
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Look, I want it to go well this time.
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Wait. Is there a chance
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you might do it on the field trip?
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When the time is right,
the time is right.
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Whenever that may be.
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Oh. On my field trip. [CHUCKLES]
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That's a little like proposing
at somebody else's wedding,
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but, you know, lucky for you,
I'm not that kind of bride.
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[SIGHS]
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None of the kids want to sit with me.
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You confiscate one water balloon
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and you are persona non grata
around here.
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Uh, well, as much as I love a bus buddy,
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maybe there's another open
seat you'd prefer to sit in.
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What are you talking about?
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Let's just say a little birdie
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[COUGHS] named Gregory told me that
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he may have some very
serious feelings for you.
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Jacob, I need you to tell me
the truth right now.
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Did Gregory say that,
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or do you have a bird named Gregory?
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My bird's name is Peter,
and you would know that
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if you ever came over to meet her.
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- Basically...
- Janine.
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Just admit it.
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You still like him, right?
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Maybe.
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Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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But I already tried to tell him
at the beginning of the year.
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Okay, well, you were
different people then.
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We all were. I was in a
relationship and unhappy.
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And now look at me.
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I'm... I'm single and...
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you know, I'm fine.
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Just... [CLEARS THROAT]
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Just go talk to him. Trust me.
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Okay.
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Hey. Oh.
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Come here often? [CHUCKLES]
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About once a year.
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Me too. Me too.
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These field trips,
they usually end in disaster.
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It's crazy.
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Well, maybe this year's field trip
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can break our unlucky streak.
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[SCHOOL BUS ENGINE STARTS]
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Next stop... the park!
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Whoo!
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Nice to finally have
some peace and quiet, huh?
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In my head, things are as loud as ever.
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With no kids around,
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I can finally take care
of my to-do list.
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But most pressing of all?
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All these damn keys
weighing my pants down.
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I got duplicates, triplicates, four...
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plicates.
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My belt loops are rated
50 pounds or less
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and suspenders are for freaks.
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And if you think the seesaw is cool,
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you should check out
the fun facts section of your...
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Okay, no one's listening.
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My air chair needs air,
and there's no wind.
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Try running north to south.
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00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,413
Ms. Schemmenti! A kid pushed me!
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00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,415
Oh, no. Are you okay, kiddo?
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- Which kid?
- That kid over there
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from the other school.
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Oh. Oh.
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Hey. How you doing?
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00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,384
So, um, I just was made to understand
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that there was some sort of incident
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where your kid pushed my kid.
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00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,098
Well, actually, I was told that
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your student
shoved my student first, so...
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Oh. Well, that's unfortunate.
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Why don't we just have
them apologize to each other?
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Okay. W... Sure.
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I mean, I guess that's
the right thing to do,
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no matter who shoved
the other one first. Go ahead.
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- Sorry.
- Sorry.
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- Huh?
- Yeah.
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[CHUCKLES] It's gonna be a great day.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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MELISSA: Oh, yeah, it can get like that
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between kids
on the playground sometimes.
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Especially right before snack time.
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It's like a less violent version
of the "Squid Game."
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Gotta tell you, I'm not loving the 'tude
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00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,134
coming off that teacher, though.
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00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,219
Alex, be careful.
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00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,595
- Your shoes are untied!
- Oh! [THUDS]
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00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:04,888
- And he's down.
- I got Band-Aids.
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Oh, no, he's back up.
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It's alright. He's running it off.
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That's good.
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We did a pretty good job of
getting him to like school.
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"Like" is a strong word, but he's here.
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What kid would miss field trip day?
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Uh, well... actually,
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I hated field trips as a kid.
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It meant missing class.
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Oh, right. I forgot you're a nerd.
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You sing Randy Newman songs
to your plants,
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00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,247
so who's the nerd, really?
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- [CHUCKLES] You heard that?
- Yeah.
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[BOTH LAUGH]
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Do you mind, um, taking a picture
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00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,715
of me with my kids in the background?
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I barely have any from the year, so...
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- Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Thank you.
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Okay, ready?
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[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
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00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,891
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
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JANINE: Got it?
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00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,105
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
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00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,690
Thank you.
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00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,029
Um...
155
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,614
Hey, are you a swinger?
156
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,157
What?
157
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,909
Do you want to go on the swings?
158
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,286
- Oh, yes.
- Yeah.
159
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,162
- I swing on the swings.
- Swings.
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00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,421
Yeah. Do you want to do them?
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- The swings?
- Yeah.
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Okay.
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MELISSA: Look at 'em.
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Those Liberty kids
keep cutting our kids in line.
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Oh. It's just kids being kids.
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See, my student Torian,
he's right up front.
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Nobody's cutting...
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- Ooh, just wait a minute now.
- Hey.
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Hold on a second. Okay, let's...
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let's not let this ruin my big day.
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Okay, but you didn't see what happened
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between me and one of
the Liberty teachers earlier.
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I am sensing a pattern here.
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- Melissa.
- Hmm?
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00:06:36,071 --> 00:06:38,873
I'm going to need some muscle
and a sharp tongue.
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- Well, let's go then.
- Come on.
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00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,192
[SIGHS] Hey.
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00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,777
Nice to see you again. Listen.
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Your kids are on strike two, okay?
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00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,990
'Cause they seem to keep
cutting our kids in line.
181
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,159
What? That is so interesting
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because, see, our kids are saying
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00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,455
that your kids are hogging
all the saddle spinners.
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00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:55,915
So, I don't know.
Teach your kids to share.
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[CHUCKLES] No need to get snippy here.
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00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,867
Oh, no.
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00:06:59,892 --> 00:07:01,436
I see where these Liberty students
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00:07:01,461 --> 00:07:02,628
- get their manners.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:07:02,653 --> 00:07:03,988
- What was that?
- Nothing.
190
00:07:04,013 --> 00:07:05,348
Why don't you watch your students?
191
00:07:05,373 --> 00:07:06,958
- Why don't you, huh?
- Yeah, we just,
192
00:07:06,983 --> 00:07:08,281
you know, want to keep things fair.
193
00:07:08,306 --> 00:07:09,696
- MELISSA: All right?
- Alright, yeah, well, you know,
194
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,097
life's not fair. Right?
195
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,849
- You have to teach at Abbott, so...
- [SNICKERS]
196
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,059
- Excuse you?
- The audacity!
197
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,186
No, we get to teach at Abbott.
198
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,855
- Huh.
- Yeah, I get to be lactose intolerant.
199
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,015
[BARBARA SIGHS]
200
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,542
- JACOB: She was being rude. I get it now.
- Thank you.
201
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,734
Okay. I shouldn't punch
someone in the park, right?
202
00:07:24,759 --> 00:07:25,960
No.
203
00:07:26,253 --> 00:07:27,875
Liberty everywhere you look.
204
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:30,515
Do they not understand the
meaning of the word "public"?
205
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:31,789
I'm riled up.
206
00:07:31,814 --> 00:07:33,553
You know, I thought
if anyone was gonna ruin
207
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,796
this field trip for the kids,
it was gonna be you.
208
00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:37,974
Hey, Morton. Are your students having
209
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,876
any trouble with
these Liberty kids today?
210
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,390
I honestly have no idea.
211
00:07:41,415 --> 00:07:43,313
I've been angrily texting
my ex-wife all morning.
212
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,215
She thinks she should get the grill.
213
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,800
What's a woman gonna do with a grill?
214
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,426
You're scum.
215
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,388
Listen, these Liberty teachers
must be stopped.
216
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,806
AVA: [SCOFFS] Y'all need to let it go.
217
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,516
It's not that deep.
218
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,059
I'm trying to listen to an oral history
219
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,289
on the history of oral histories,
220
00:07:57,314 --> 00:07:59,191
and I can't hear it
over all y'all pettiness.
221
00:07:59,216 --> 00:08:00,425
Oh.
222
00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:01,868
LIBERTY TEACHER: Little help?
223
00:08:01,893 --> 00:08:04,021
Hey, uh, that's our ball. Toss it back.
224
00:08:04,046 --> 00:08:05,380
Just as far as you can.
225
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,779
I don't want you to hurt yourself.
226
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,448
It has got to be done.
227
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,285
- Whoa!
- Come on.
228
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,121
- Seriously?
- MELISSA: Slow down.
229
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,790
You don't want to hurt yourself.
230
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,333
[LAUGHS]
231
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,168
How have we not talked about this?
232
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,503
- We haven't?
- No.
233
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,004
Yeah, my favorite color is green.
234
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,339
- I'm a green guy.
- Wow.
235
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,299
- Green for your green thumb?
- Mm-hmm.
236
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,301
Okay. And my favorite color is blue.
237
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,303
- Uh-huh.
- No synthetic, though.
238
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,222
- Okay.
- You know, blue, like, found in nature.
239
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,891
Like fish or Smurfs.
240
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,843
Can we get a turn?
241
00:08:38,868 --> 00:08:40,244
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Oh, yeah.
242
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,396
Okay.
243
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,777
Will only be a while.
244
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,199
You know, if you could go
faster, that would be great.
245
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,577
I'm all the way down to no excuses.
246
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,413
Oh. Ugh.
247
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,331
Bug.
248
00:09:04,523 --> 00:09:06,108
Take your time and be safe.
249
00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:07,926
You want to keep your momentum
going so you don't get stuck.
250
00:09:07,951 --> 00:09:09,633
You know what? A little
bit of help here, please.
251
00:09:09,657 --> 00:09:12,427
Oh. Alright. Here you go. Okay.
252
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,304
Thank you.
253
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,007
Whew! Saved my life.
254
00:09:16,032 --> 00:09:18,034
- I don't know about that.
- No, you did.
255
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,684
With my height, that's the equivalent
256
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,476
- of a two-story fall.
- Okay.
257
00:09:21,501 --> 00:09:23,544
- I guess I did save your life then.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
258
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:26,816
Pick that up from that EMT
you've been hanging out with?
259
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,611
Maybe. Is that bad?
260
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,197
No. Happy you learned something.
261
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:36,785
It's nice to just have
a day with the kids and Gregory.
262
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,870
Feels good.
263
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,039
Feels great.
264
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,416
Ava doesn't like anyone
going down there.
265
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,251
The basement? Why?
266
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,296
I don't know.
267
00:09:46,321 --> 00:09:48,539
But I see her going down
there all the time.
268
00:09:56,950 --> 00:10:00,162
Keys were bad enough,
now we've got numbers?
269
00:10:01,697 --> 00:10:03,908
What the hell. Let's try...
270
00:10:03,933 --> 00:10:05,976
6-9-6-9.
271
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,249
[DOOR UNLOCKS] [CHUCKLES]
272
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,986
69% of the time
it works 69% of the time.
273
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,449
Well, I'll be.
274
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,201
[CHIMES]
275
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,992
ROBOT TOILET: Hello, Ms. Coleman.
276
00:10:20,017 --> 00:10:22,997
It's Mr. Johnson, but you're
gonna learn that the hard way.
277
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,082
[CHUCKLES]
278
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,130
Okay, kiddos, come on, let's go
279
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,589
get us our lunch and get in the shade.
280
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,134
Oh, thank goodness.
Let's get out of this sun.
281
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,262
Oh!
282
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,014
We had to move your little lunches.
283
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,100
I hope it's not a problem.
284
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,185
STUDENT: Oh!
285
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:47,230
That was supposed to be our spot.
286
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:50,400
They threw our lunches into the sun!
287
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,027
I have never known evil like that,
288
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,196
and I have been to a Cowboys home game.
289
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,866
You two! Where have you been?
290
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,284
We're at war here.
291
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,119
- War?
- With the park?
292
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,329
Gregory, uh, walk with me for a moment.
293
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,706
I could... I could use some air.
294
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,915
We're already outside.
295
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,458
Well, then it won't take long.
296
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,878
GREGORY: Okay, so what's this
about a war?
297
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,046
You're a peacetime teacher,
Gregory. This isn't for you.
298
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,048
I merely wanted you alone to ask
299
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,550
how the bus chat went.
300
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,594
- Was it the right time?
- No, not yet.
301
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,429
We were having a really good
time by the swings,
302
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,889
but then, while I was
taking a picture of her,
303
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,984
Manny sent her a text
asking her to go to dinner.
304
00:11:23,009 --> 00:11:24,511
Oh, no. Not the beard.
305
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,103
That's what's different.
I don't care about the text.
306
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,398
If anything, it just motivates
me more to tell her how I feel.
307
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,649
My man.
308
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,151
So...
309
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,448
Next time we're alone, it's happening.
310
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,241
Wow.
311
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,910
It's like a Hallmark movie.
312
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,746
Janine is the city girl, and
you're the rough-and-tumble guy
313
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:48,124
who tends a garden, and I am the guy...
314
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,626
watching that movie.
315
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,673
You know, hot PB&J
is considered a delicacy
316
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:56,883
in a lot of places.
317
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,177
It's like a panini, basically.
318
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,471
[MUFFLED] So, we're being fancy.
319
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,731
Ha! Y'all did this to y'all selves.
320
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:06,050
Ava, you're deflating.
321
00:12:06,075 --> 00:12:09,162
Hey, how are your warm,
toasty sandwiches?
322
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,934
What'd you say about our sandwiches?
323
00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:13,291
You know what?
Why don't we just not interact
324
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,161
for the rest of the afternoon?
325
00:12:15,186 --> 00:12:17,271
We are about to take
our students to the slide.
326
00:12:17,296 --> 00:12:19,840
So you all have a nice day.
327
00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,535
Actually, we're going to
the slide right now, so...
328
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,068
- Say what?
- AVA: Oh, my God.
329
00:12:24,093 --> 00:12:25,803
Let it go.
330
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,413
This is stupid playground beef.
331
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,290
Y'all are being more childish
than the kids.
332
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,125
Soror!
333
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,086
Crystal?
334
00:12:34,952 --> 00:12:36,898
- Crystal.
- This is your school?
335
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,466
This is my school.
336
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,593
Okay, let's fight these bitches.
337
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,637
A soror war.
338
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:45,264
You and your teachers have been
messing with my school all day.
339
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:48,051
Before, when it had no effect
on me, I was disengaged.
340
00:12:48,076 --> 00:12:49,661
But now that my podcast has ended
341
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,813
and my chair is deflated,
this is personal.
342
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:52,950
It's time to end this.
343
00:12:52,975 --> 00:12:54,666
And how do you suppose we do that?
344
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:55,942
Relay race!
345
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,236
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
346
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,196
Winner takes all!
347
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,282
The slide and the pride!
348
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,119
Yeah! So just those two things!
349
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,455
I guess you're forgetting
I was on the track team.
350
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,791
Oh. [CHUCKLES] I know you a runner.
351
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,459
That's a Chicago term for a ho.
352
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,043
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah.
353
00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:17,052
Ebonics, or AAVE, it
changes from state to state.
354
00:13:17,076 --> 00:13:18,293
Jacob, mnh-mnh.
355
00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:21,693
Today, these two crews...
Abbott Elementary...
356
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,481
And Liberty Rings!
357
00:13:23,506 --> 00:13:27,427
[LIBERTY STUDENTS CHEERING]
[ABBOTT STUDENTS BOOING]
358
00:13:27,452 --> 00:13:29,200
will battle it out...
359
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,270
will battle it out park style.
360
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,439
A relay race through the playground.
361
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,107
You all know the risks.
362
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,442
It's what you signed up for.
363
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:41,446
And winner gets dibs
on the big wooden slide.
364
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,239
[ALL STUDENTS CHEERING] Yes!
365
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,702
Alright, here we go.
Here we go. Let's go.
366
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,079
- Why?! You don't know how to light it!
- This is kinda nice.
367
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,664
- Big slide all to ourselves.
- Mm.
368
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,584
Our kids are so excited
about the relay race.
369
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,461
So are our adults. [CHUCKLES]
370
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,796
So... should we slide?
371
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,715
Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
372
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,966
Yeah, use the oven. Whatever.
373
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,384
JANINE: Thanks.
374
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,094
Have you sliden before?
375
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,637
- Um, no.
- Oh!
376
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,014
No, I don't typically.
377
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,932
Clear eyes, full hearts,
378
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,517
elbows out, hip checks,
whatever it takes.
379
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,935
- Mm-hmm.
- Let's be aggressive out there.
380
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,106
Wait. Where's Janine and Gregory?
381
00:14:14,131 --> 00:14:15,997
Oh, who cares? Janine will
just slow us down.
382
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,098
She's got little limbs.
383
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,417
And let's be real... Gregory's
never really been one of us.
384
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,668
Look. We need everybody.
385
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:24,434
I can't carry this team all by myself.
386
00:14:24,459 --> 00:14:26,507
Alright. Fine. I'll go find them.
387
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,242
Thank you.
388
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,661
- You ready?
- Born ready.
389
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,040
[BOTH LAUGH]
390
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,003
[SIGHS]
391
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:53,101
Look, Janine, um...
392
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,727
I wanted to tell you...
393
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,064
Now, what the hell's going on here?
394
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,691
Sorry. I had to take a call
from my ex-wife.
395
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,193
I wasn't talking to you.
396
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,567
Ugh. Never date someone you work with.
397
00:15:04,592 --> 00:15:06,553
- Wait. What'd you say?
- It's a long story.
398
00:15:06,578 --> 00:15:08,455
No, please.
399
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,315
Some of us need to hear it.
400
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:12,884
Well, me and my ex-wife,
we were both teachers.
401
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,539
Our classes were right next
to each other.
402
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,998
We eventually got there.
403
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,959
Ooh. Sounds so familiar.
404
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,502
Did you take it to HR?
405
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:20,878
'Cause when I used to date
the other cashier
406
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,797
at Cold Stone Creamery, policy stated
407
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:25,007
if we didn't report it, they
wouldn't like it or love it.
408
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,718
In fact, they gotta have it
reported to HR.
409
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,012
Or it would have been berry,
berry, berry bad.
410
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,806
Well, we did.
411
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,808
- And they warned us, but we ignored it.
- Mm.
412
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,977
And at first, everything
was wonderful, a dream.
413
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,812
But then things got rocky.
414
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,814
We fought, and there was
no escape from it.
415
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,012
That's right.
416
00:15:41,037 --> 00:15:43,331
Home, school, the lunch room, recess,
417
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,612
field trips, parks, slides.
418
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,447
She was just there.
419
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,907
Always there.
420
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,201
I eventually had to change schools,
421
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,412
take less money,
crappy studio apartment,
422
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,830
- forced to work with Mr. Hill.
- Oof.
423
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,832
I feel that.
424
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,626
And now I have several ulcers.
425
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,044
Mm-hmm.
426
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,796
All because I dated a coworker.
427
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,549
Mm, mm, mm. Thank you, Mr. Morton.
428
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,302
It was illuminating for all of us.
429
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,096
Now, if you two will stop acting
like a couple of school kids,
430
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,015
we gotta go win a relay race.
431
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,069
Thanks.
432
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,070
Yeah.
433
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,365
I've been thinking
so much about it going right,
434
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,577
I made the mistake of
not considering it going wrong.
435
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,497
So I have to hold off.
436
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,085
But Jacob's right, though. Morton sucks.
437
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,671
I'm 20 pounds lighter and finally done.
438
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,216
My pants won't have to sag anymore.
439
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,134
I couldn't find a match
for this last one.
440
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,053
So it's going in the trash.
441
00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,353
Oops. Forgot my car keys.
442
00:17:07,558 --> 00:17:09,852
[SIGHS] [BLEEP]
443
00:17:09,877 --> 00:17:11,090
Everyone know what they're doing?
444
00:17:11,115 --> 00:17:13,117
Wait. I want the monkey bars.
445
00:17:13,142 --> 00:17:15,519
What, you got a bet
on the other team or something?
446
00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:17,553
- Janine, I really don't think...
- No, no, no, I can do it.
447
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,012
She can.
448
00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:21,182
Fine. Gregory, you got
the tricycle thing.
449
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,042
So "tri-not" to mess it up.
450
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,919
MELISSA: Okay, okay, okay.
451
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,254
Let's get it!
452
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,256
Let's have a good, clean race.
453
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,424
Clean? Girl, I knew you in college.
454
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,927
On your mark... get set...
455
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,011
go!
456
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,012
[SCREAMS]
457
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,265
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
458
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,642
Hey, wait a second! Wait a second!
459
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,936
Ava!
460
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,230
[SCREAMS]
461
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,774
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
462
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,900
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
463
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,068
One, two...
464
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,654
Whooooa!
465
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,906
Okay, go, go, go, go!
466
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,118
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
467
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,161
JANINE: Slap his hand, Jacob!
468
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,122
Come on, Gregory, let's go!
469
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,958
JACOB: Go, Greg! Go, Greg!
470
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:08,462
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
471
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,339
That's it! Don't fall!
472
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,758
Oh, yes, Melissa!
473
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,135
GREGORY: Yes, beautiful!
474
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,886
[CHUCKLES]
475
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,514
Go! Go! Go! Here we go! Here we go!
476
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,598
Go, Janine!
477
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,891
She good!
478
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,311
Fly, Janine, fly!
479
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,438
You got it. Yes!
480
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,440
MELISSA: Go, Janine! You got it!
481
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,691
Go, Janine!
482
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:31,027
Come on, Janine, come on!
Put it all into it!
483
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,362
I'm not physical in this way.
484
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,281
One more, Janine! One more!
485
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,283
Okay. [GRUNTS]
486
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,577
Alright, now.
487
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,746
Stop dancing, Janine! Stop!
488
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,956
- Sorry!
- Thank you!
489
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,125
- Barb!
- JACOB: You got this!
490
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:50,630
[CHEERING]
491
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,298
Go, Barb, go!
492
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,467
- Oh, no, you didn't!
- Go, Barb!
493
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,137
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
494
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,972
Satan right behind you, girl!
495
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,600
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
496
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,144
Yeah! [LAUGHS]
497
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,316
You're welcome, kids!
498
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,359
Yes.
499
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,860
Kids?
500
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,321
Wait. Where'd all the kids go?
501
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,366
[PLAYFUL SHOUTING, LAUGHTER]
502
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,117
BARBARA: Looks like the children
can get along
503
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,535
quite well without us.
504
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,204
Well, okay, but her kid shoved my kid.
505
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,289
- No, your kid did shove my kid.
- We're done.
506
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:29,585
I guess the adults are to blame here.
507
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,129
I'm sorry, soror.
508
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,839
And I'm sorry...
509
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,175
that we had to beat your ass!
510
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,968
[LAUGHTER]
511
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,220
Whoo!
512
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,806
- Boom!
- Ooh! Sorry.
513
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,183
[PLAYFUL SHOUTING, LAUGHTER]
514
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,188
Took you long enough.
515
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,232
Mr. Johnson, what you doing outside?
516
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,609
While I was thinning out
my keys, I locked myself out.
517
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:56,320
No way back in, so I guess
there's no more school forever.
518
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,115
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
519
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,992
If it was that easy, I'd have
locked us out years ago.
520
00:20:02,764 --> 00:20:04,390
Outta my way. I gotta pee.
521
00:20:04,415 --> 00:20:06,960
Lucky for me, I found that
brand-new bathroom to use.
522
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,958
Please tell me you didn't use it.
523
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,710
Use it? Baby, I abused it.
524
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,213
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
525
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,006
Jacob.
526
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,161
I gotta hand it to you, man.
527
00:20:17,186 --> 00:20:19,188
I thought this whole field trip
was gonna be terrible.
528
00:20:19,213 --> 00:20:21,090
Just a bad idea from start to finish.
529
00:20:21,115 --> 00:20:23,534
But best field trip ever?
530
00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:25,895
Best field trip ever!
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
531
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,672
Smith Playground champions, baby!
532
00:20:27,697 --> 00:20:29,782
That's right.
533
00:20:29,807 --> 00:20:31,642
Look, I said you're
not getting the grill.
534
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,026
Okay, um, I guess
it's time to go inside.
535
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,822
Cool. I'm gonna see if Jacob
needs help with anything.
536
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,532
Okay.
537
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,075
I'll see you tomorrow?
538
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,952
Yeah.
539
00:20:49,936 --> 00:20:51,646
You a little sore?
540
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,502
[CHUCKLES] Forget a Charley Horse,
541
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,756
I got a Charley Polo Team
in my hamstrings.
542
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,551
Charley Polo Team.
543
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,011
Like Ralph Lauren.
544
00:21:04,589 --> 00:21:06,257
Shut up, Gregory.
545
00:21:06,282 --> 00:21:07,742
I said nothing.
546
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,686
But I did tell you all to stretch.
547
00:21:10,564 --> 00:21:12,733
You all look ridiculous.
548
00:21:12,758 --> 00:21:14,635
Us? What about you?
549
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,152
Where does your waist end and
your neck begin? [AVA CHUCKLES]
550
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,321
If that's supposed
to be a pickup line...
551
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,697
it's working.
552
00:21:21,722 --> 00:21:25,722
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- www.addic7ed.com -