1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,440 [LOW, THRUMMING RUMBLING] 3 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,759 [HIGH-PITCHED TONE] 4 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,840 [ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYS, FADES] 5 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,400 - [GENTLE STRING MUSIC PLAYING] - [PRUNING SHEARS CLICK] 6 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,599 [GRUNTS, SIGHS] 7 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:43,800 [PHONE RINGING] 8 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,160 [PHONE RINGING] 9 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,279 [PHONE RINGING CONTINUES] 10 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:03,838 Hello. 11 00:01:03,839 --> 00:01:06,679 [MAN] Hello. Am I speaking to Mr. Philip Connarthy? 12 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,880 It's pronounced "Connarty." 13 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,360 Apologies. I'm calling on behalf of a Miss Kelly Royce. 14 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,679 I don't know a Kelly Royce. 15 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,359 Absolutely, but this regards Miss Royce's mother, Carol Royce. 16 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,600 I don't know a Carol Royce either. 17 00:01:22,119 --> 00:01:24,880 Her maiden name was Hartman. Carol Hartman. 18 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:30,720 Yeah, I know the name. 19 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,560 Um... 20 00:01:35,119 --> 00:01:37,720 I knew her. Uh, sorry, why are you calling? 21 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,960 I'm afraid she passed away last Wednesday. 22 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:43,880 Her daughter wanted you to know. 23 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:52,960 Hello? 24 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,959 - Tell her I'm sorry for her loss. Uh... - Of course. 25 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,520 Thank you for letting me know. 26 00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:02,399 There will, of course, be a funeral. In London. In England. 27 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,399 In England. 28 00:02:06,679 --> 00:02:08,799 No, um, I can't. Uh... 29 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,679 No, that's understood. 30 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,519 I'm not calling about attendance. I'm from a company called Eulogy. 31 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,639 Eulogy, okay. 32 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,840 We're helping the family curate an immersive memorial. 33 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,199 Immersive memorial. Mm-hmm. 34 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,839 We've been contacting names in her mother's old papers, 35 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,479 which is where you were listed. 36 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,559 Locating people who knew Carol in her youth has been challenging. 37 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:30,785 If you could contribute a memory, 38 00:02:30,786 --> 00:02:33,119 it would mean a great deal to the family. 39 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,566 It was all so long ago, and I can't, um... 40 00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:37,399 Well, you won't have to write anything. 41 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,414 The system curates your recollections 42 00:02:39,415 --> 00:02:41,160 and uploads them for the memorial. 43 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,238 - Would you like to take part? - I'm not sure. 44 00:02:44,239 --> 00:02:45,919 It's entirely voluntary. 45 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:49,280 If it's easier, we can just send you the kit, and you can decide then. 46 00:02:49,699 --> 00:02:50,759 The kit? 47 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,679 [PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING] 48 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,080 [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] 49 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,600 [MUSIC FADES] 50 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,760 [HAUNTING STRING MUSIC PLAYS] 51 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,040 - [WOMAN'S VOICE] Hello? - [STARTLED] Ah! 52 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:48,920 Hello? 53 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,480 [SCOFFS] 54 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,199 [SIGHS] Hello? 55 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,870 You don't have to speak directly into me. 56 00:03:55,871 --> 00:03:57,839 Sorry. I know, weird thing to say. 57 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:58,919 Sorry. 58 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,479 I've got a bit of an opening spiel I need to do here. 59 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,000 - Go for it. - Okay. 60 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:08,118 - Today, we celebrate the life of Carol Royce. - [CHUCKLES] 61 00:04:08,119 --> 00:04:10,759 As guide, my role is to help you reminisce, relive, 62 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,118 and to curate your fondest memories of her. 63 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:16,478 Yeah, can we maybe skip the intro? Just tell me what you need me to do. 64 00:04:16,479 --> 00:04:17,639 Okay. Uh... 65 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:21,398 So first, let's, um... let's calibrate. 66 00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:25,519 Simply place the guide disc, uh, that's me, on your temple. 67 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,720 [SCOFFS] 68 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,399 - This, like, on the side of my, like... - Mm-hmm. 69 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,640 That's it. 70 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,519 Now all you have to do is think of Carol. 71 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,719 Well, I haven't done that for a long time. 72 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,120 Mm-hmm. Understood. 73 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,560 But try to recall her now. 74 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,999 Close your eyes and picture her face. 75 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,080 [WISTFUL STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 76 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,479 [SIGHS] 77 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,719 Okay, uh, not really getting anything. 78 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,918 Oh, well... sorry, but, um... 79 00:05:00,919 --> 00:05:03,359 Just, uh... just try to focus. 80 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,520 I am, but it's hard to, uh... 81 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,360 To see her clearly? 82 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,799 - Yes. - At first, getting hold of a memory 83 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,679 feels like trying to grab a river with your hands. 84 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,799 - Oh boy. - Yeah, sorry, not my words. 85 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,038 That's what the, uh, brochure says. 86 00:05:20,039 --> 00:05:21,799 What helps are tangible prompts. 87 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,199 Photos, songs, mementos. That kind of thing. 88 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,559 Can't you supply photos? 89 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,279 Oh, I'm not allowed to provide external material. 90 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,279 - It would get mixed up with your memories. - Right. 91 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,839 They do it this way to keep the recollections accurate. 92 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:33,840 Right, right, right. 93 00:05:33,841 --> 00:05:36,319 But if you grant access to your photo cloud, 94 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,918 I can search for images of Carol. 95 00:05:37,919 --> 00:05:41,079 Smartphones and clouds didn't exist back when I knew her. 96 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,840 Um, okay, but do you have any physical photos? 97 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,960 [WISTFUL STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 98 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,039 [SIGHS] 99 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:58,880 [CHUCKLES] 100 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,560 [SIGHS] 101 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:19,840 [GROANS] 102 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,999 - Are you there? - Yeah, did you find some? 103 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,520 - Uh, a few. - A few? 104 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,519 Okay, three. 105 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,679 - I can process up to 1,500 photos. - And I got you three. 106 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,799 They recommend a minimum of six different images. 107 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,479 - Can we just get going? - Absolutely. 108 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,798 - So? - So pop me back on. 109 00:06:46,799 --> 00:06:50,160 Lay out the first image you'd like to import and then look at it. 110 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,559 - Literally just look at it? - That's right. 111 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:59,439 Okay. Uh, the first one is, uh... this. 112 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,239 Okay. What are we looking at here? 113 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,959 That's the day I met Carol. This would've been in Brooklyn. 114 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,918 Rooftop barbecue at The Coop. 115 00:07:05,919 --> 00:07:08,840 - The Coop? - Uh, yeah. It used to be a squat. Um... 116 00:07:09,359 --> 00:07:10,455 The idea was it was a co-op, 117 00:07:10,456 --> 00:07:13,160 so everyone just called it Coop, hence The Coop. 118 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,559 I mean, we were just kids, really, 119 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,719 but we called ourselves artists, musicians... misfits. 120 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,977 Well, believe it or not, that, yeah, 121 00:07:21,978 --> 00:07:25,919 that young man is me, and that is Carol. 122 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,598 What, the... the woman with her back to us? 123 00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:30,839 Yeah. 124 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,319 We're looking for a clear recollection of her. 125 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,519 This is what I have. 126 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,080 We can enhance the moment by entering the image. 127 00:07:39,039 --> 00:07:40,079 Shall we go in? 128 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,640 - What do you mean "go in"? - It's easiest to just show you. 129 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,919 - [GASPS] - [INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING] 130 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:52,719 [GASPS] 131 00:07:54,359 --> 00:07:55,839 Jesus Christ. 132 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,280 [MUSIC FADES] 133 00:07:58,159 --> 00:07:59,478 - Hi. Sorry. - [STARTLED] Ah! 134 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,559 - [GASPS] - [CHUCKLES] 135 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,239 - [PHILIP RELIEVED] Oh. - [LAUGHS] It's me. 136 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,038 - Your guide. - Holy crap. 137 00:08:04,039 --> 00:08:05,999 I didn't... didn't mean to make you jump. 138 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,798 No, it... it's not... It's just that this is... 139 00:08:08,799 --> 00:08:11,679 Yeah. Take a moment to get your bearings. 140 00:08:14,039 --> 00:08:15,239 [PHILIP SIGHS] 141 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:22,239 [THE GUIDE] This is the photograph fused with your memories. 142 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,839 Some parts are missing, 143 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,880 but details appear as and when your memories fill out. 144 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:35,399 So when this was taken, this was before you and Carol got together? 145 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,639 [PHILIP] Huh... 146 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,798 Well, I never said we got together. 147 00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:42,120 Oh, come on. Look at the way you're looking at her. 148 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,879 And I'm guessing she was looking back at you the same way. 149 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,279 [WISTFUL STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 150 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,640 I'd made her laugh. 151 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,399 She was new in the house. 152 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,599 I didn't know her, but I wanted to, 153 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,160 and I'd made her laugh, 154 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:56,880 and she looked... 155 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:58,879 - Oh Christ. - It's okay. 156 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,039 No, there's no... Um, I can't see her face. 157 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,399 It'll come to you. 158 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,759 Try to focus on what you can recall of this moment. 159 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,119 [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 160 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,120 Okay. 161 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:11,720 Um... 162 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,520 She had just moved in. Uh... 163 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,958 She kept to herself. She had been studying the cello. 164 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,760 She was usually in her room, practicing. 165 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,999 I think she still had a boyfriend back home at this point. 166 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,079 Fiancé. 167 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,479 Sorry? 168 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,519 There's an engagement ring on her finger. See? 169 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,399 The eye can't make that level of detail out in your photo, 170 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,119 but there's enough for the algorithmic sharpening 171 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,519 to make visible to us in here. 172 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,439 I never knew she was engaged. 173 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,239 Maybe you chose not to see or not to remember. 174 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,399 No, she never said it was that serious. 175 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,120 Perhaps she underplayed it. 176 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,360 - Didn't wanna scare you off. - Uh-huh. 177 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,199 Shall we mark this moment for potential upload for the memorial? 178 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,879 I don't think her family would appreciate seeing a fond memory 179 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,198 of her flirting with me while engaged to someone else. 180 00:10:02,199 --> 00:10:03,439 Hmm, you're right. 181 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:07,040 Though it would be an honest representation of her character. 182 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,040 Shall we move on? 183 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,399 [GASPS, GULPS] 184 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,480 [INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING] 185 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:16,800 Jesus Christ. 186 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,280 Yeah. Don't worry. 187 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,959 These transitions should get less disorientating as you go. 188 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,440 Shall we try your next photo? 189 00:10:26,199 --> 00:10:27,199 Okay. 190 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,759 Looks like another party. 191 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:34,039 Uh, yeah, I can't remember what for. Any excuse would do, you know? 192 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,198 That was The Coop. 193 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:39,040 Okay. A lot of faces. Why don't you talk me through who's who? 194 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,600 Uh, okay. 195 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,479 That's Emma with the blonde hair. 196 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,599 [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 197 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,240 [PHILIP] And the guy with the bong, that's Jamo. 198 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,440 And the girl lying back there is Amanda. 199 00:10:54,079 --> 00:10:56,880 You'd have liked her. She was British, like you. 200 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,079 But there's no Carol. 201 00:11:01,719 --> 00:11:02,760 Or you. 202 00:11:04,199 --> 00:11:08,959 No, we're not in the photo, but we were definitely both at this party. 203 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,520 [THE GUIDE] Mm. 204 00:11:11,719 --> 00:11:15,078 Looks like there was a record playing. "Fools Gold" by... 205 00:11:15,079 --> 00:11:16,560 The Stone Roses. 206 00:11:17,199 --> 00:11:18,640 It's one of Amanda's. 207 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:20,718 Music's great for jogging the memory. 208 00:11:20,719 --> 00:11:23,600 ["FOOLS GOLD" PLAYING] 209 00:11:32,719 --> 00:11:34,719 [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 210 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:37,240 [PHILIP] There. 211 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:39,680 Right. 212 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:41,240 Yeah. 213 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,719 We were through there, 214 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:46,719 down the hall. 215 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,360 That was the first time me and Carol really got talking. 216 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,719 I was so nervous. 217 00:11:55,560 --> 00:12:00,120 My brain was screaming behind my ears, "Don't fuck this up, man." 218 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,480 But I didn't fuck it up. 219 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,079 Talking with her was easy. 220 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,280 She was funny. 221 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,760 Can you remember what you talked about? 222 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,560 No, but 223 00:12:20,199 --> 00:12:22,199 she was like no one I'd ever known. 224 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,839 Or even thought of knowing. 225 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:26,959 [LAUGHTER] 226 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,839 That was our first night together. 227 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,040 [SIGHS, CHUCKLES] 228 00:12:40,839 --> 00:12:43,078 I can't use this either, can I? 229 00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:46,040 "I screwed the deceased. May she rest in peace." 230 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,680 Probably not. 231 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,640 [SIGHS] 232 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,040 Um, let's try your last photo. 233 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,280 [SIGHS] Uh... 234 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,679 Me again. 235 00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,399 What the hell was I wearing? 236 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:00,799 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 237 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,838 Don't have a clue who took this. I didn't notice anyone taking it. 238 00:13:03,839 --> 00:13:05,359 But still no sign of Carol. 239 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,919 No. But I was listening... 240 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,880 [INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING] 241 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,400 ... to her. 242 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,359 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 243 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,920 [PHILIP] She was in her room. 244 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,040 On her cello, practicing. 245 00:13:21,839 --> 00:13:22,839 Lost in it. 246 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,880 She didn't know I was watching. 247 00:13:27,079 --> 00:13:29,079 [MUSIC FADES] 248 00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:35,160 - She's in there, but I can't see her. - Can you remember what she was playing? 249 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,851 This thing she used to play over and over. 250 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,559 It was a beautiful piece of music. 251 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,480 If you can remember the name of the piece, I can look it up. 252 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,959 Listening might fill out the memory. 253 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,000 No, it won't be on a service. 254 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,360 She wrote it herself. 255 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,718 It was a piece she composed? 256 00:13:54,719 --> 00:13:56,640 Yeah. She was good. 257 00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,680 She was good. 258 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:02,760 [PHILIP SIGHS] 259 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,399 It's a shame you don't have more photos, but since that's all you have, 260 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,598 perhaps we should try some other form of stimuli... 261 00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:09,599 It's not. 262 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:11,440 Sorry? 263 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,519 [EERIE MUSIC STING] 264 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,240 I've got other pictures. 265 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,159 Of her. 266 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,400 Great! Then let's look at those. 267 00:14:21,959 --> 00:14:23,040 They won't help. 268 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,839 [ETHEREAL STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 269 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,560 [SIGHS] See what I mean? 270 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,640 Yeah. 271 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,639 A year or so after we broke up, 272 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,078 if it had her face in it, I either threw it out or I did that. 273 00:14:54,079 --> 00:14:55,999 - You were upset with her. - [CHUCKLES] 274 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,959 That's one way of putting it, yeah. 275 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,958 You won't ever know how hard I fell for that girl. 276 00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:07,000 Like, beyond everything. 277 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,559 And she said... she always said she felt the same, 278 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,719 and I believed she felt the same, 279 00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,839 and then she drops me. 280 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,559 Into a pit. Just a fucking pit. 281 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:24,958 Just cold, bang. 282 00:15:24,959 --> 00:15:26,479 Just, "See ya." 283 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,640 Not a word. Just walks away. 284 00:15:32,439 --> 00:15:35,759 And she went on with her life while mine just stopped. 285 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,598 So that was me. 286 00:15:37,599 --> 00:15:40,199 Lost. No hope. Nothing. 287 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,130 [SIGHS] So then came the drinking, 288 00:15:44,131 --> 00:15:46,479 all that shit, the desperation of it. 289 00:15:47,599 --> 00:15:48,839 The fucking shame. 290 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,598 Me and Carol were together three years. 291 00:15:51,599 --> 00:15:55,438 It took me 15 to climb out of the hole she put me in. 292 00:15:55,439 --> 00:15:59,560 - So, yes. I was upset. - And you never stayed in touch? 293 00:16:00,839 --> 00:16:02,078 [LAUGHS] 294 00:16:02,079 --> 00:16:03,198 Uh, no. 295 00:16:03,199 --> 00:16:05,280 [LAUGHS] No, we did not. 296 00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:08,958 Reexamining the past isn't always comfortable, but... 297 00:16:08,959 --> 00:16:10,718 Okay, sorry. 298 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,120 But, yeah, 299 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,759 there were good times... when we were together. 300 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,719 I know that. But, uh... 301 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,120 that's all gone. 302 00:16:23,079 --> 00:16:25,400 I can't even picture her face anymore. 303 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,999 Do you want to stop? 304 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,079 [WISTFUL STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 305 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,120 No. 306 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,478 Well, do you have any particular memories 307 00:16:35,479 --> 00:16:37,958 associated with what's left of these photos? 308 00:16:37,959 --> 00:16:39,439 I don't... Um... 309 00:16:40,359 --> 00:16:41,838 Used to, maybe? I don't know. 310 00:16:41,839 --> 00:16:43,679 It's just the more you can recall, 311 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,240 the more likely it is we can restore your memory of her face. 312 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,760 All right, then. Let's... let's try this one. 313 00:16:54,379 --> 00:16:55,399 Which one's you? 314 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,679 [LAUGHS] 315 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,958 Sorry, I'm joking. 316 00:16:57,959 --> 00:16:59,358 Oh, you're hilarious. 317 00:16:59,359 --> 00:17:01,718 What do you remember about the day this was taken? 318 00:17:01,719 --> 00:17:02,718 It was wet. 319 00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:04,118 Well, that's a start. 320 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,200 Let's see what else you can recall. 321 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,318 [THE GUIDE] So where exactly are we? 322 00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:12,039 Uh, the pier at Cape Cod. 323 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,398 [PHILIP CHUCKLES] 324 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,118 Well, that's where you live now. 325 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:19,118 Yeah, well, I inherited my folks' house, but they were out of town, 326 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:22,760 so we took the opportunity to take a cheap little vacation. 327 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,000 My first getaway with a girlfriend. 328 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,399 Who took the photo? 329 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:32,479 Uh, just a tourist. 330 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,440 Some passerby we handed the camera to and asked. 331 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,398 I liked this photo more than Carol did. 332 00:17:41,399 --> 00:17:44,399 - She wasn't into hot dogs? - No, it was the beer. 333 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,239 "You could've put that bottle down for the picture." 334 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,279 [CHUCKLES] Well, yeah. She had a point. 335 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,360 Yeah. 336 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,720 You know, it was on this trip that we knew we were serious. 337 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,080 Lying in bed, fascinated by each other's eyes. 338 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,759 "I love you" back and forth, all that. 339 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,000 Nothing else existed. Just us. 340 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,840 That's all we needed. 341 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,120 We made plans. 342 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,680 Man, we were so young. 343 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,319 [SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING] 344 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,079 So what were the plans? 345 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,039 Well, we decided to get our own place together. 346 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,000 Oh, black and white? That's a bit arty. 347 00:18:30,679 --> 00:18:33,320 [PHILIP] This was it. Tiny place over a piano store. 348 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,199 Uh, I took the picture, so I would have been about there. 349 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,360 [THE GUIDE] Mm. 350 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,440 Can you remember what color she's painting with here? 351 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,199 [PHILIP] The walls were nicotine-yellow when we moved in. 352 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,960 First place of our own for both of us. 353 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:55,120 We wanted to make our mark, so we painted the whole place... blue. 354 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,640 [CHUCKLES] Yeah, that's it. Blue. 355 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,719 [LAUGHS] Yes! 356 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,280 [LAUGHS] 357 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,586 Oh my God, the landlord lost his shit. 358 00:19:05,587 --> 00:19:07,280 We weren't supposed to redecorate. 359 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,918 It was a stupid idea, really. 360 00:19:09,919 --> 00:19:12,559 It made it look even smaller than it already was. 361 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,000 - The two of you were happy here? - Mm-hmm. 362 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:16,640 Just me and her. 363 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,360 And the cello. 364 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,679 Yeah, we both kept up the music. She'd joined the band by now. 365 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,320 - You were in a band together? - Oh yeah. I'll show you. 366 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,359 Here, it's one of our gigs. 367 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:32,280 It's about... '91, I think. 368 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,280 I stabbed it with a pen. 369 00:19:37,159 --> 00:19:38,359 Will it still work? 370 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,479 Should do. 371 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,720 - [MUFFLED ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] - There we are. 372 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,678 So Carol played keyboards? 373 00:19:45,679 --> 00:19:47,359 Yeah, that was my idea. 374 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,360 Not cello? 375 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,080 Cello wouldn't have fitted our sound. 376 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,319 You could adapt the sound. 377 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,479 She could play anything. 378 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,839 It might not have been the cello, but she was fine with it. 379 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,200 She told you that? 380 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,719 Sorry, it's not a trial. 381 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:01,919 [PHILIP] No, it's not. 382 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,440 [PHILIP CHUCKLES] 383 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,319 We were getting quite a following. 384 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,399 - [MUSIC CONTINUES] - [CROWD CHEERING] 385 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,600 I'm not saying we were a big deal, but maybe we could've been. 386 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,119 Have you got a recording? It might bring back more of the moment. 387 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,678 Not anymore, no. 388 00:20:23,679 --> 00:20:27,560 Zeke quit the band, moved to Seattle, decided he was God, 389 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,719 and that was it for us. 390 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,520 So, no, no recording. 391 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,158 It's just as well. 392 00:20:35,159 --> 00:20:37,599 Hearing his voice gives me hives, to be honest. 393 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,759 He went on to become a big deal, didn't he? 394 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,000 Yeah, well, assholes prosper. 395 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,080 Maybe we could've kept going without him, but 396 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,560 Carol's heart wasn't in it. 397 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,866 Maybe you should have let her play cello. 398 00:20:50,867 --> 00:20:53,039 Maybe you could say "cello" again. 399 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,199 - Well, the cello was important to her. - I know. 400 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,839 She played it her whole life. Taught her daughter to play it. 401 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:01,679 Are you supposed to be mildly annoying? Is that how they coded you? 402 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,040 I wasn't really coded. 403 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,759 - More generated. - Okay. 404 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,000 Generated from some digital asshole. 405 00:21:14,679 --> 00:21:15,679 Sorry. 406 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,600 Apology accepted. 407 00:21:20,399 --> 00:21:22,200 Let's try another picture. 408 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,639 Okay, so these are definitely all '91. 409 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,439 - Halloween at the Undervault. - Oh, this is good. 410 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,040 With multiple photos, we'll get a composite of the entire night. 411 00:21:36,679 --> 00:21:37,719 [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 412 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,759 [PHILIP] Yeah, Jamo took a whole bunch. 413 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,640 Wild night. A lot of drinking. And I mean a lot. 414 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,112 Jesus, that's Carol in red there. 415 00:21:46,113 --> 00:21:48,599 I was so mad, I used a cigarette on this. 416 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,639 - You burned your own face out too? - That's not me. 417 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,640 [MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS] 418 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,759 That's me in the hockey mask. 419 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,519 I had the bar job by now. 420 00:21:58,520 --> 00:21:59,839 So who's Beetlejuice? 421 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,439 Just some dickbag trying his luck with my girlfriend. 422 00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,690 Even though you're standing right there 423 00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:08,319 dressed like Jason from Friday the 13th? 424 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:12,200 Exactly. I was that close, and she still just sat with this guy. 425 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:13,719 Right in front of me. 426 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,839 [THE GUIDE] Looks like you had company too. 427 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:16,919 Who's she? 428 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:18,519 Oh, that's Emma. 429 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,879 She was in The Coop photos earlier. 430 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,560 [PHILIP] Yeah, she worked there too. 431 00:22:25,399 --> 00:22:26,880 The two of you get on? 432 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,480 We worked together. 433 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,960 Oh Jesus. Not you too. 434 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:34,720 [SCOFFS] 435 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,599 Carol thought I encouraged her, which I didn't. 436 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,095 It was a bar job, for Christ's sake. 437 00:22:42,096 --> 00:22:43,759 You joke around. [CHUCKLES] You know? 438 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,240 So she was jealous? 439 00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:48,359 We fought about it that night. 440 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,880 I was pissed she'd been sitting all night with Mr. Asshole. 441 00:22:52,399 --> 00:22:54,399 Looks like she wants to get away from him. 442 00:22:55,439 --> 00:22:56,439 [PHILIP] What? 443 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,200 She's leaning back, like his breath smells. 444 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,479 Okay, that's one snapshot. 445 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,559 Believe me, she could've moved anytime. 446 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,839 - She was there the whole night with him. - The whole night? 447 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,000 Absolutely. 448 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:12,359 I think so. 449 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,879 See that area? 450 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,759 Jamo must've photographed it at some other point that night. 451 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,320 Isn't that Carol with her back to us in red? 452 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,360 Okay, not the whole night, literally. 453 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,679 It was just a stupid fight. 454 00:23:31,679 --> 00:23:33,639 She went on and on, 455 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,879 and then she blamed me that she didn't get an early night 456 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,599 'cause she had some audition tryout thing the next day. 457 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,080 Brooklyn Philharmonic. 458 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,039 For the cello. 459 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,279 And she didn't get it. 460 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,199 She must've been sad about that. 461 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,839 Not for long. [SIGHS] 462 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,040 It opened the door to other things for her. 463 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,599 When the orchestra gig didn't work out, she was bummed. 464 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,159 She didn't have any work. 465 00:23:58,159 --> 00:24:01,199 But then Amanda, the British girl from The Coop, 466 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,800 she'd moved back home, 467 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,079 pulled a couple of strings. 468 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,879 Got Carol a six-month placement 469 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,319 in the orchestra pit for Phantom of the Opera, of all things. 470 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,919 London's West End. 471 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,040 Total tourist bullshit, but 472 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,759 she was excited. 473 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,239 Yes, she was. 474 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,760 You didn't want her to go? 475 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,200 Oh, she kept saying, "It's just for a few months," but 476 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,159 it's easy to say that when you're the one going on an adventure. 477 00:24:29,159 --> 00:24:30,159 [SIGHS] 478 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,918 She sent me a postcard every week. 479 00:24:33,919 --> 00:24:36,320 Upbeat, but saying she missed me. 480 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,678 Little poems and such. 481 00:24:38,679 --> 00:24:41,158 Maybe we could scan in one of the... 482 00:24:41,159 --> 00:24:42,919 - Oh. - I was thorough. 483 00:24:43,679 --> 00:24:45,639 So you didn't see her for a while? 484 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,479 No, but we arranged for me to fly out there in the fall, 485 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,280 see her for a long weekend, but 486 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,640 it felt so far away, you know? 487 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,800 A long time on my own. 488 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:57,919 What's this? 489 00:24:58,720 --> 00:24:59,720 My birthday. 490 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,279 So you weren't alone the whole time she was gone. 491 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,279 What do you mean? 492 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,280 Well, someone took this photo. 493 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,800 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING] 494 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:15,839 So that's... 495 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,120 Emma. [SIGHS] 496 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,800 Oh God, yeah. 497 00:25:20,399 --> 00:25:21,399 Uh... 498 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,320 Oh Christ, yeah. [CHUCKLES] 499 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,678 Um, don't look at me like that. 500 00:25:26,679 --> 00:25:28,479 - [THE GUIDE] Like what? - Like you are. 501 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,438 I'm not looking at you like anything. 502 00:25:30,439 --> 00:25:31,640 [GROANS] 503 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:34,079 [CHUCKLES] 504 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,519 Okay, so it was my birthday. 505 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,119 I had a few drinks at work. 506 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:41,119 Uh, not my idea. They were practically forcing shots on me. 507 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:43,090 - [THE GUIDE] Sure. - And Emma came back to the apartment, 508 00:25:43,091 --> 00:25:44,479 and, you know... 509 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,239 Uh, we weren't... [SCOFFS] 510 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,239 [SPLUTTERS] It was a dumb thing, okay? 511 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,480 It was just a one-off thing. 512 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:53,880 [SIGHS] 513 00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:58,879 I mean, we'd... we'd have just regretted it, me and Emma, in secret. 514 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,519 It wouldn't have been a big fucking deal if... 515 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:02,678 If what? 516 00:26:02,679 --> 00:26:04,320 [PHONE RINGING] 517 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,600 [PHONE RINGING] 518 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,839 I mean, Carol never called. 519 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,239 Couldn't afford to. 520 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,839 - Long distance back then was a fortune. - [PHONE RINGING] 521 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,519 But this night, 522 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:22,119 she gets up early and called to sing me "Happy Birthday," 523 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:24,119 and Emma answers the call. 524 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,320 I don't know why. 525 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,679 - Making mischief? - Yeah, I don't know, maybe. 526 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,120 Anyhow, shit hit the fan. 527 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,599 Me and Carol screaming at each other down the line. 528 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:40,520 She yelled all kinds of shit. I yelled all kinds of shit back. 529 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,199 [SIGHS] 530 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,480 Just ugly, scorched-earth stuff. 531 00:26:46,919 --> 00:26:47,919 Ugly. 532 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:50,120 [SIGHS] 533 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,719 She hung up on me. 534 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,239 Or I hung up on her. 535 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,679 I don't know. I can't fucking remember. 536 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:01,800 [SIGHS] 537 00:27:04,199 --> 00:27:05,640 But, yeah, anyway, 538 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:07,520 not good. 539 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:11,880 Do you want to mark this memory for potential upload? For the memorial? 540 00:27:12,399 --> 00:27:13,759 I never said I was perfect. 541 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,119 You've said a lot about Carol's failings. 542 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,839 "She did this, she did that, she's the root of all evil." 543 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,839 [CHUCKLES] Okay, you don't understand. 544 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,239 What did she do that was so awful, so heinous, 545 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,438 you become this wounded dog? 546 00:27:25,439 --> 00:27:27,240 I haven't shown you yet. 547 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,320 [SOLEMN STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 548 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,959 You remember I told you we arranged for me to fly out there? 549 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,918 - Mm-hmm. - I already had my ticket, so... 550 00:27:41,919 --> 00:27:44,079 - So Carol knew you were coming. - Right. 551 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,159 A few months or so after my birthday. 552 00:27:47,199 --> 00:27:49,918 Now, she was staying in this British family's spare room 553 00:27:49,919 --> 00:27:51,119 in the sticks somewhere, 554 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:54,840 so I booked us a stupid suite in a hotel I couldn't afford. [CHUCKLES] 555 00:27:55,399 --> 00:27:56,438 Big romantic. 556 00:27:56,439 --> 00:27:57,879 [CHUCKLES] Nice. 557 00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,360 I went to the matinee. 558 00:28:00,439 --> 00:28:03,320 Not my thing, and I couldn't even see her, of course. 559 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:08,640 She was in the pit somewhere, but... I met her at the stage door after. 560 00:28:09,199 --> 00:28:12,039 I took her suitcase back to the hotel, 561 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,080 and... 562 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,039 we went out for dinner. 563 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,040 Anywhere nice? 564 00:28:22,399 --> 00:28:24,039 To a fancy restaurant. 565 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,320 I'd read this article about it on the flight. 566 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,040 When I landed, I called to see if they had a table for two. 567 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:35,359 I think they bumped someone when I told them what I was gonna do. 568 00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:36,520 What do you mean? 569 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,159 [ETHEREAL STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 570 00:28:58,800 --> 00:28:59,879 We were over here. 571 00:29:01,919 --> 00:29:03,600 So walk through what happened. 572 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,639 Well, uh... 573 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,240 she looked kind of the same but different. 574 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,479 She said she'd put on weight, but I couldn't see that. 575 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,159 I thought she looked beautiful. 576 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:27,918 And I ordered a bottle of champagne. First time I'd done that anywhere. 577 00:29:27,919 --> 00:29:31,320 But she didn't touch it. She didn't wanna drink anything. 578 00:29:32,399 --> 00:29:34,007 And I was like, "Come on." [CHUCKLES] 579 00:29:34,008 --> 00:29:36,119 "I've come all this way. Have one." 580 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,199 But no. 581 00:29:39,399 --> 00:29:42,959 So I had to bite my tongue because, you know, it was irritating. 582 00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:47,158 I had the ring in my pocket, so I was nervous. 583 00:29:47,159 --> 00:29:49,438 I'm draining the glasses. 584 00:29:49,439 --> 00:29:52,719 And, finally, I pluck up the nerve, 585 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,639 and I take out the ring, and I almost dropped it. 586 00:29:56,159 --> 00:29:57,439 I was so jittery. 587 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,399 And she looks at it, and... 588 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:06,959 she goes quiet. 589 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,599 She doesn't say anything. 590 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,560 She doesn't even look at me. 591 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,559 And now the waitresses are shooting looks over 592 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:21,239 'cause they know I'm there to propose, so I'm on display, you know? 593 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:24,319 My cheeks are burning. My throat is dry, so I'm drinking more. 594 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:28,040 And then, in the end, I just... I ask her, "Just say something." 595 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,840 "Say anything." [SIGHS] 596 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,079 And she's just staring at the floor, 597 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,519 so I bang the table with my fist, 598 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,240 and now everybody's watching, 599 00:30:42,919 --> 00:30:44,320 and she just gets up... 600 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:49,600 and walks out. 601 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:59,280 There's just silence. There's just the clanging in the kitchen. 602 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,320 And I'm there, and 603 00:31:04,439 --> 00:31:06,918 everyone's quiet, the staff can't make eye contact, 604 00:31:06,919 --> 00:31:10,600 just this stink of humiliation on me. 605 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:16,919 [HAND THUDS] 606 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,560 So I sat there, and I finished that bottle. 607 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,158 They told me I didn't have to pay for it, but I insisted I would. 608 00:31:25,159 --> 00:31:28,560 - I didn't want their pity. - No, because you could provide your own. 609 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,080 What? 610 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,280 You're talking a lot about how sad you were. 611 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:42,359 I was destroyed. 612 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:43,678 And how was she? 613 00:31:43,679 --> 00:31:47,479 I'm not saying that she was a big, happy fucking sandwich, 614 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,398 but she walked out on me. 615 00:31:49,399 --> 00:31:50,559 Not a word as to why. 616 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:54,718 Would you have listened if she told you? A bottle of champagne down. 617 00:31:54,719 --> 00:31:57,240 - Of course. - So why do you think she left? 618 00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,159 Maybe she was cheating. 619 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:04,120 Maybe she was sick of me. Maybe she was cruel. 620 00:32:04,959 --> 00:32:07,315 She... she knew that I was coming. 621 00:32:07,316 --> 00:32:08,839 She could have ended it on the phone. 622 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,958 She made me fly all that way. She knew... 623 00:32:10,959 --> 00:32:13,359 But not that you were coming to propose. 624 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,159 Like that's a big difference. 625 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,239 You said this was autumn '92? 626 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,839 Fall, yes, like October. 627 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,439 She looked sort of different. Wouldn't drink. 628 00:32:24,399 --> 00:32:25,800 She was pregnant. 629 00:32:26,919 --> 00:32:27,919 With me. 630 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:35,320 Kelly Royce. 631 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,280 Carol's daughter. 632 00:32:37,879 --> 00:32:40,000 The one she taught to play cello. 633 00:32:41,399 --> 00:32:42,399 [PHILIP SIGHS] 634 00:32:42,919 --> 00:32:44,919 Don't worry. You're not my dad. 635 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:46,878 He was a one-night stand. 636 00:32:46,879 --> 00:32:49,600 Played xylophone in the orchestra, believe it or not. 637 00:32:50,159 --> 00:32:51,240 [SURPRISED GASP] 638 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,279 You're Carol's daughter? 639 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,480 Yes. Well, kind of. 640 00:32:59,199 --> 00:33:00,199 I'm not real. 641 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,079 I'm a disposable avatar. 642 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,360 A temp guide. An echo, really. 643 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:08,958 I'm programmed with her thoughts and opinions 644 00:33:08,959 --> 00:33:11,158 so I can decide what she'd like to include 645 00:33:11,159 --> 00:33:13,839 without her having to be exposed to everything herself, 646 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,959 which, as you can imagine, 647 00:33:16,639 --> 00:33:17,999 might be upsetting. 648 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,520 Why didn't you say? 649 00:33:20,159 --> 00:33:22,280 You said, "Skip the intro." 650 00:33:26,879 --> 00:33:27,879 [SIGHS] 651 00:33:30,199 --> 00:33:33,119 So you know everything that the real daughter knows? 652 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:34,479 Mm-hmm. More or less. 653 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,839 So you already knew everything I've been telling you here. 654 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,215 Well, some of it, but, to be honest, 655 00:33:38,216 --> 00:33:41,399 she never really spoke much about this time in her life. 656 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,999 - Right. - I think looking back was painful for her. 657 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,759 It doesn't mean your time together wasn't meaningful. 658 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,800 - Probably the opposite. - Mm. 659 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:58,878 This guy, your dad. 660 00:33:58,879 --> 00:34:00,239 [THE GUIDE INHALES] 661 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,239 - What was he like? I just wanna know. - [EXHALES] Why? 662 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,999 - She cheated with him. - You mean, followed your lead? 663 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,600 Could you just tell me? 664 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,959 I never knew much about him. He was called Brian. 665 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,599 - Brian? - Yeah. 666 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,198 And they were never together. 667 00:34:15,199 --> 00:34:17,798 And by the time I was born, he was in Manchester. 668 00:34:17,799 --> 00:34:20,198 I saw him maybe five or six times. 669 00:34:20,199 --> 00:34:22,053 And the last time, he was ranting about 670 00:34:22,054 --> 00:34:24,559 some online rabbit-hole conspiracy theory. 671 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,119 And the year after that, I heard he died of Covid. 672 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,360 Oh boy. 673 00:34:29,159 --> 00:34:31,079 He sounds like a real catch. 674 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:32,519 Great choice, Carol. 675 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,319 [SCOFFS] Great choice. 676 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,280 [PHILIP SIGHS] 677 00:34:40,839 --> 00:34:41,839 Sorry. 678 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:45,880 It's okay. 679 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:48,199 She'd agree. [CHUCKLES] 680 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,119 [PENSIVE STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 681 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,221 She said she wrote to you to explain 682 00:34:53,222 --> 00:34:54,759 or at least start the conversation, 683 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,999 and you never replied. 684 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,039 - She never wrote to me. - It's what she told me. 685 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,079 She never wrote! [SCOFFS] 686 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,239 Or I never got it. I... I didn't get it. 687 00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:03,919 [SPLUTTERS] I'd have listened. 688 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,838 Yeah, and said, "Get rid of it." 689 00:35:05,839 --> 00:35:08,999 No! I don't know. [SPLUTTERS] We'd have talked it over. 690 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,759 - And you'd have heard her? - Yes, I would! Yes, I would! 691 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,440 [MUSIC FADES] 692 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,119 [SIGHS, SNIFFLES] 693 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:18,640 I wanna get out of here. 694 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,200 [SIGHS] 695 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:22,920 [EXHALES] 696 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,040 [SIGHS] 697 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:34,400 [SIGHS] 698 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,039 I just wanna see her, you know? 699 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,798 Maybe there's something else that could jog your memory? 700 00:35:41,799 --> 00:35:43,039 I don't know. 701 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,359 Well, um, what about in that box? 702 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:46,359 [PHILIP SIGHS] 703 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:47,959 Is that, like, a camera there? 704 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,599 - [SIGHS] This? - Yeah. 705 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,640 [CHUCKLES] It's a disposable camera. 706 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,640 Big in the '90s. I got it at the airport. 707 00:35:56,319 --> 00:35:58,759 The plan was we would take photos around the city together. 708 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,120 That never happened, of course. We never... 709 00:36:02,319 --> 00:36:04,319 [INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING] 710 00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:15,839 [PHILIP] Here. 711 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,760 - I haven't seen one of these in forever. - Can you still process it? 712 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,720 - There's only one photo been taken. - I know, I know, I know. 713 00:36:25,799 --> 00:36:27,680 - I'll have to wind it on. - Okay. 714 00:36:28,319 --> 00:36:31,400 - You'll waste the rest of the film. - But you can retrieve the one photo? 715 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:32,919 Might take a while. 716 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,479 I'll wait. [SIGHS] 717 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,000 Matte or gloss? 718 00:36:36,799 --> 00:36:37,799 Matte. 719 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,399 [MUSIC FADES] 720 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:52,400 [THE GUIDE] So? 721 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:54,920 Was there anything on it? 722 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,259 Here. 723 00:37:04,260 --> 00:37:06,318 I think I took this. Just a nothing photo. 724 00:37:06,319 --> 00:37:07,319 Oh. 725 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:11,119 Look, we could still go in. 726 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:12,798 [SIGHS] What's the point? 727 00:37:12,799 --> 00:37:16,199 Well, you took it on your trip, so it might give us something. 728 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,419 Sure. 729 00:37:17,420 --> 00:37:19,200 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 730 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,560 [PHILIP] Told you. It's nothing. 731 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,279 This was the hotel room. 732 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,679 When I came back from the restaurant, her case was gone, 733 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:30,920 so I knew that was that. 734 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,000 [TUTS] 735 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,000 And I took it out on the room. 736 00:37:37,839 --> 00:37:38,960 It was pathetic. 737 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,359 What are you even looking for? 738 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,440 [THE GUIDE] I just want to see what your camera picked up. 739 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,200 There's a note here. 740 00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:54,079 It says "Philly." 741 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:55,919 System sharpened it up. 742 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:57,999 There's a piece of paper with "Philly" written on it. 743 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,599 - That's what she called me. - I'm pretty sure it's her writing. 744 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:02,719 Well, I... I never saw that. 745 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,999 - [PHILIP GRUNTS] - No, Philip, it's just part of an image. 746 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,119 - You... - Oh, come on. 747 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:07,186 You won't be able to pick it up. 748 00:38:07,187 --> 00:38:09,639 I'm sorry. That's just not how it works. 749 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:10,720 No, come on. 750 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,120 Please, come on. 751 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,319 [GRUNTS, PANTS] 752 00:38:19,799 --> 00:38:21,080 Get me out of here. 753 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,000 [SNORTS] 754 00:38:24,319 --> 00:38:26,519 - Maybe you kept it somewhere. - [SIGHS] 755 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,159 - No. - Are you sure? 756 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:29,760 I'd fucking remember. 757 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,200 [SIGHS] Sorry. 758 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:34,880 It's okay. 759 00:38:35,799 --> 00:38:39,200 Let's just walk through what you did after you took the photo. 760 00:38:44,319 --> 00:38:45,400 Um... 761 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,240 I just smashed the room up. Uh... 762 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,280 I went out, drank myself into a blur. 763 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:55,879 And when I got back, 764 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,599 the maid had cleaned the place up, put it all in a little pile. 765 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,239 I just packed everything up, 766 00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:02,079 I... I put it away, and I never... 767 00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,160 [ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING] 768 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:09,520 Uh... 769 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:23,760 [PHILIP SIGHS] 770 00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:31,839 [CAROL] Philly, I have to tell you something. 771 00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:35,039 I couldn't say earlier. I froze. 772 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,120 I'm sorry. 773 00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:39,600 Please... please don't hate me. 774 00:39:41,839 --> 00:39:44,960 That day I rang and got Emma, I was so mad. 775 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,960 I had a one-night stand with someone in the orchestra here. 776 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,560 It didn't mean anything, and I'm sorry. 777 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:00,359 I've missed my period. 778 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:02,880 I don't know what to do. 779 00:40:03,799 --> 00:40:07,799 I love you, and I want us to work, but I don't know how you'll feel. 780 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,960 I think I wanna keep the baby. 781 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:12,880 I don't know. 782 00:40:14,319 --> 00:40:16,240 But could you live with that if I did? 783 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:20,838 If you still wanna talk, 784 00:40:20,839 --> 00:40:24,160 meet me tomorrow afternoon at the stage door, after the matinee. 785 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,600 I'll understand if you never wanna see me again. 786 00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:33,240 I hope you do. 787 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:35,839 I love you, 788 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,080 Carol. 789 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,640 [SOBS] 790 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:48,799 [SIGHS] 791 00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,720 [MUSIC SUBSIDES] 792 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:27,680 [THE GUIDE] I'm so sorry. 793 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,520 [CASSETTE CLATTERS] 794 00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:04,679 [CAROL CHUCKLES] Okay, Philly. 795 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:08,839 So you asked me to record this piece of music for you. 796 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:10,480 [PHILIP TUTS] 797 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:13,280 [CAROL] Careful what you wish for. 798 00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:16,440 Let's see her. 799 00:42:18,319 --> 00:42:20,319 [POIGNANT STRING MUSIC PLAYING] 800 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,960 [MUSIC FADES] 801 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,440 [CELLO MUSIC CONTINUES] 802 00:43:57,359 --> 00:43:59,359 [CELLO MUSIC CONTINUES] 803 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,640 [CELLO MUSIC CONTINUES] 804 00:44:54,641 --> 00:44:59,641 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 805 00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,400 [MUSIC FADES]