1 00:00:06,588 --> 00:00:08,407 _ 2 00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:10,943 So, based on the story of Moses, 3 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:14,646 how many of the Ten Commandments did my ex-husband Bill break? 4 00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:18,284 If I am to understand "covet" correctly, five. 5 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:22,055 Her spray tan was on my sheets. 6 00:00:24,164 --> 00:00:25,759 Just watch a video. 7 00:00:26,731 --> 00:00:28,861 _ 8 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,463 Itchy and Scratchy in Sunday school? 9 00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:33,032 It's a miracle. 10 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,770 Chest bump! 11 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,772 Abraham, take your son Isaac 12 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,307 to the land of Moriah 13 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:44,844 and make him a sacrifice unto me. 14 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,680 Stab the baby in the face. 15 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,582 Halt! You have proven you love God. 16 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:53,620 I bless you and will multiply your seed 17 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,156 like the stars of heaven. 18 00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:59,558 ♪ Smite, smite, smite, then they're saved ♪ 19 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,630 ♪ God is the king of kings! ♪ 20 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,064 Hmm? 21 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,199 What is this "nice" crap? 22 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,835 I want to see tummy ketchup. 23 00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:11,737 Why the hell are Itchy and Scratchy shilling for God? 24 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:15,207 Why the hell are Itchy and Scratchy shilling for God?! 25 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:16,742 I'd never approve that. 26 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:20,580 How can they use my cartoons without my permission? 27 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,183 Because Itchy and Scratchy is so old 28 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,950 that the copyright has expired. 29 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,453 Now they're in the public domain. 30 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:29,621 Anyone can use their image or likeness for free. 31 00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:32,459 Free don't burn holes in my septum. 32 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,326 Well, it's not just your characters. 33 00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,930 The same thing has happened to such beloved properties 34 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,799 - as Babar the Elephant... - What? 35 00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,369 - ...Popeye... - Oh, no. 36 00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,471 - ...even Winnie-the-Pooh. - Oh, not Pooh. 37 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,606 This is a financial calamity. 38 00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:49,842 Oh, I'm kind of into that lady kangaroo, though. 39 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,744 They're stealing my money! 40 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:55,115 Oh, there's something about a skinny kangaroo. 41 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,949 Well, if you don't want the rest of your show 42 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,385 to go into the public domain, 43 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,724 you have to modify your IP. 44 00:02:00,759 --> 00:02:03,555 Put an original spin on your existing characters. 45 00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:04,890 Original, huh? 46 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:08,093 I'll do what Warner Brothers, Disney and the Muppets did 47 00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:10,562 when they needed new and original. 48 00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:13,532 Okay, Baby Krusty, 49 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,502 you hit Baby Mel with the pie, 50 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,238 juggle a chainsaw, a bowling ball and Baby Teeny, 51 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:21,975 then give me a big Jack Benny take to camera three. 52 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,375 And action. 53 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,346 Cut! 54 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,847 You call that comedy? 55 00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,250 Do you see me laughing? 56 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,818 Do you see anyone laughing? 57 00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:34,354 Well, do you?! 58 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,089 Why didn't somebody warn me 59 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:39,693 never to work with babies or animals? 60 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,704 You're fired. Plant a blind item in the press 61 00:02:44,739 --> 00:02:47,967 saying he got fresh with the craft services lady. 62 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,503 You, headphones, take this no-talent back 63 00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:53,840 to the jungle or wherever it came from. 64 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,507 Don't worry, little fella. 65 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,811 I'll find you the perfect home. 66 00:02:58,945 --> 00:02:59,945 _ 67 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,815 Oh, my God. Are you seeing this? 68 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:06,019 Someone left a baby chimp in one of those little book houses. 69 00:03:08,086 --> 00:03:10,389 He's so cute. 70 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,391 Look at his little tiny finger pads. 71 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,527 - Where'd he come from? - Who cares? 72 00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:16,128 If he's in here, he's up for grabs. 73 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,831 You and I could actually have a baby chimp. 74 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,301 We could turn the upstairs into a monkey playground. 75 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,402 We can grow Tarzan vines for him. 76 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,137 How long do Tarzan vines take to grow? 77 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,805 I don't know. We'll pay a guy. 78 00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:29,442 We can turn Maggie's stroller into a monkey mobile. 79 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,745 And put bananas in the cup holder. 80 00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,413 This just feels so right. 81 00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:35,015 This is our moment. 82 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,149 Open the door. 83 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,917 I'm opening the door. 84 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:41,955 - Oh, he nuzzled me! - He fist-bumped me. 85 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,424 - We've got a monkey. - We've got a monkey. 86 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,926 We've got a monkey! 87 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,496 Hmm. 88 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,173 And we could replace my bed with monkey bars. 89 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,441 My mind is sweaty with ideas 90 00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,344 for chimp Christmas cards. 91 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,579 Mom, Dad, the most amazing thing just happened. 92 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,349 We found a tiny chimp in a tiny house. 93 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,750 Isn't that so lucky? 94 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:14,054 It's the luckiest thing that ever happened. 95 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,321 A chimpanzo? 96 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:18,191 Kids, you've got to find that animal's owner. 97 00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:20,180 We did find its owner... us. 98 00:04:20,215 --> 00:04:22,662 He was abandoned, and we rescued him. 99 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:25,932 We named him Mr. Goodboy because he's such a good boy. 100 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,368 He is. Such a great name, Lis. 101 00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,602 Mr. Goodboy. Mr. Goodboy. 102 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,739 Mr. Goodboy. Mr. Goodboy. 103 00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:35,474 We can't keep a monkey in the house. 104 00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:37,077 That's got to be the kind of lesson 105 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,212 our family has learned at some point. 106 00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:40,746 Oh, I know. 107 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,516 A pet chimp is the worst idea in the world. 108 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,618 But look. It's the first time 109 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,088 I've ever seen them yelling with each other, 110 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,956 not at each other. 111 00:04:50,086 --> 00:04:51,391 Aw, check it out. 112 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,492 The cat loves Mr. Goodboy. 113 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:56,229 They could get married. 114 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:57,796 Just give it time. 115 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,766 This will fall apart before we know it. 116 00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:03,030 One diaper change for Bart, and he's out. 117 00:05:03,065 --> 00:05:06,939 The first monkey tick that Lisa finds in her bed, end of story. 118 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:10,010 So we just sit back, let the situation implode, 119 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,511 and the kids think it's their fault 120 00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:13,412 we're sending the monkey back to Iceland 121 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,115 or wherever it came from. 122 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,450 Chimp-mate. 123 00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:19,853 The rumors are true: 124 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,122 The sloppy joe is made... 125 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,522 from monkey meat. 126 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,730 Mr. Goodboy, are you okay? 127 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:39,105 Stupid kids. You got to pluck the fur off before you flour it. 128 00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:42,876 Oh, why did I use you as an expendable prank prop, 129 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,577 like some sort of Milhouse? 130 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,546 From here on out, I promise I'll do everything I can 131 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,983 to keep you out of danger. 132 00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:54,154 I want to make sure you're hitting your social 133 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,555 and emotional milestones, 134 00:05:56,556 --> 00:06:00,325 so let's check out Mom's parenting books. 135 00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:02,062 Ugh. That didn't work. 136 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,463 That couldn't work. 137 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,499 That led to Bart smoking a pipe. 138 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,468 Free Range Parenting. 139 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,570 They never even unwrapped this one. 140 00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,572 Let me see. "Give a child space 141 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:14,841 "to make their own mistakes, 142 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:17,444 and they'll grow up with less anxiety." 143 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,612 I have so much anxiety, 144 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:23,016 mainly that I've been raised wrong. 145 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,354 Mr. Goodboy, I'm going to give you free range 146 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,889 to learn from your own mistakes. 147 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,326 And now you've learned how money tastes. 148 00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:39,466 Are we sure this bubble bath is safe for him? 149 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,600 You're such a worrywart all of a sudden. 150 00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:45,505 Look, the label says it's tested on monkeys. 151 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,641 Oh, this is a nightmare. 152 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,044 Our kids have become responsible. 153 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,613 Oh, we'd better figure out how to take care of a chimp. 154 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,216 I'll get us a book. 155 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,751 A book? Oh, my eyes get so tired 156 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:03,389 going right, right, right, then... left. 157 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,657 How about an audiobook? 158 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,925 My drive time belongs to Moe's podcast. 159 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,762 He commits crimes, then solves them 160 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,497 with the help of the Internet. 161 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,233 Okay, then we'll watch a documentary. 162 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,235 Shark Week, but chimp week? 163 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,536 Fine, a YouTube video. 164 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,906 Yes! Come get me after the ad. 165 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,642 Baby chimps are undeniably cute, 166 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:23,943 highly intelligent 167 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,911 and bond with humans quite easily. 168 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,782 It's no wonder people are tempted to adopt them. 169 00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:31,251 Oh, that's the laundry. 170 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,685 You keep watching. 171 00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:37,657 However, as chimps mature, they can become violent 172 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:39,259 and dangerous. 173 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:41,828 Adult chimps have a pull force 174 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,096 ten times stronger than a man's 175 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,800 and huge canines that turn their bite 176 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,802 into a devastating weapon. 177 00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:52,272 Luckily, chimps only attack when provoked. 178 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,810 Except for the chimps who live with humans. 179 00:07:57,551 --> 00:08:00,814 The mature chimp perceives his human caretaker as a threat 180 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,950 and unmasks him by tearing off his face. 181 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,720 Or biting off a man's genitals. 182 00:08:12,171 --> 00:08:14,259 Nothing provokes a chimp's bloodlust more 183 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:18,064 than a male human he perceives as a rival. 184 00:08:21,650 --> 00:08:24,304 No. No, no, no, no, Mr. Goodboy. 185 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,839 That's my wedding ring. 186 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,842 You can't marry me, because I'm married to Homer, 187 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:32,312 the biggest, strongest male in the house. 188 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:37,717 There he is now... the banana winner of the family. 189 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,620 You're a primate, but he's my prime mate. 190 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:46,860 Okay, 191 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,895 this kitchen is officially chimp-proof. 192 00:08:50,262 --> 00:08:51,998 Oh, no. Mr. Goodboy. 193 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,803 - What happened? - It's okay. 194 00:08:56,838 --> 00:08:58,872 It was just one little monkey jumping on the bed. 195 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,774 He fell down and bumped his head. 196 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,742 Well, I called the doctor, and the doctor said, 197 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,644 "No more monkeys jumping on the bed." 198 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:07,813 He's fine. He jumped and got a little boo-boo. 199 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,349 It's barely an owie. 200 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,749 This book taught me: 201 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,886 "Don't hover, let them discover." 202 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:16,055 You should love that. You're the bad-boy risk-taker. 203 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,890 Yes, and it's a miracle I'm alive. 204 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,993 Just look at my knees. 205 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,662 - Ew! - Right? 206 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,297 We have to be super careful. 207 00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:28,033 Well, this says kids need to overcome their own obstacles, 208 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:32,105 and his biggest obstacle is your parental smothering! 209 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,773 It's our job to protect him 210 00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,208 from cuts and burns and adult situations. 211 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:40,512 It's our job to let him fall so he can learn to get back up! 212 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,315 We can't fight in front of the little guy. 213 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,252 Everything's perfect. We're happy family. 214 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,687 We love you, Mr. Goodboy. 215 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:55,227 Marge, hypothetically, if I were to lose either my face 216 00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,796 or my snuggle factory, which would you keep? 217 00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,965 - Snuggle factory. - What? 218 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:02,434 Well, when we're snuggling, I could try 219 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,670 to imagine another person's face, 220 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:05,939 for the first time ever. 221 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,807 - Whose face would you imagine? - Seth Meyers. 222 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,944 Whoa. You sure had that ready to go. 223 00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:14,713 He just seems like he never has to shave. 224 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,249 Oh, come on. Who would yours be? 225 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,852 Martha Stewart. She'd make me a great meal, 226 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,321 then boss me around a little. 227 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:26,752 No! It was a monkey surgeon! 228 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,797 What in the world are you browsing? 229 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,934 Hockey masks and codpieces. 230 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,503 I've got to protect our most valuable possessions 231 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,037 from ferocious chimp rage: 232 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,940 my Homer face and my trouser fruit. 233 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,310 That's ridiculous. He's just a baby. 234 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,312 Honey, every scrotum-shredding chimp starts out 235 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,948 as an adorable baby until one day they snap. 236 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:58,051 Just think, if worse comes to worst, 237 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:01,053 how would I write my name in the snow? 238 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,522 You're coddling him! 239 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,524 You're giving him bad habits! 240 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,358 What's all this fighting? 241 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,662 Stupid Lisa gave Mr. Goodboy a pacifier. 242 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,231 He just grabbed one of Maggie's. 243 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,832 Yeah, and she's a junkie on the pipe. 244 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,537 The only thing that's traumatizing him 245 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:18,937 is all this yelling! 246 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,707 Was there ever a time when this worked? 247 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,108 Kids, it sounds like 248 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:26,245 you're finding parenting is a lot of responsibility. 249 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,114 It does put a real strain on relationships. 250 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,284 When's the last time you two just went out 251 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,553 and saw a movie together? 252 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,289 It's hard to admit, but maybe 253 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,158 we are in over our heads. 254 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,292 You're right. 255 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,694 We need professional help. 256 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:41,994 Definitely. 257 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,697 They're going to therapy? 258 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,598 What if they work things out? 259 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:48,101 Has it ever worked for us? 260 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,869 How could it work? You spent the whole last session 261 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,006 picking apart my Airbnb choices. 262 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:58,311 Read one review before you book! I beg you! 263 00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,119 Great. You have fun with that 264 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:09,189 while Lisa and I get some professional advice. 265 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,258 - Nelson? - Where's Ms. Story? 266 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,260 Like art class, the music program, 267 00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:17,429 and Milhouse on his way to lunch, she got defunded. 268 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,265 However, I've had lots of these sessions, 269 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,901 so I decided to switch sides. 270 00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:25,205 What are you struggling with? 271 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,008 We're co-parenting a baby chimp. 272 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,275 I'm trying to expand his horizons, 273 00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,045 and Bart is trying to stifle them. 274 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,748 How does that statement make you feel, Bart? 275 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:37,384 - Annoyed, I guess. - Mm-hmm. 276 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,885 How does this make you feel? 277 00:13:39,506 --> 00:13:42,022 - Ow! - Interesting. 278 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,923 Look, you two were raised in a troubled home. 279 00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,359 Can we agree on that? 280 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,693 - Yes. - It's true. 281 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:51,031 Plus, it's not natural for a kid to have two parents. 282 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,298 How about we un-purple the nurple for a second 283 00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:55,168 and wedgie up this relationship? 284 00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:59,639 What I'm hearing is that both of you love this monkey so much. 285 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:02,509 I love that you love Mr. Goodboy. 286 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,210 I love that you love him, too. 287 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,045 Well, I'm afraid that's our time, 288 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,214 because I'm so bored with your stupid problem. 289 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:11,183 It's gonna take some work, but I think we can do this. 290 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,218 It's a process, but in the end, 291 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,422 we're going to be better parents. 292 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,090 Where's Mr. Goodboy? 293 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,525 Oh, no. He's gone! 294 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,665 I'm trying to buy a car. 295 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:36,509 Ach. 296 00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:39,813 Oh, my God, we lost Mr. Goodboy. 297 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,282 This was your fault! 298 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:49,289 Mr. Goodboy ran away from school, and we can't find him! 299 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,358 Me and my stupid free-range parenting. 300 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,359 I should have put a tracker on his collar. 301 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,962 Wait, wait. I did put a tracker on him. 302 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,398 - Why didn't you tell me that? - I just remembered. 303 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,000 I'm new to being an annoying control freak like you. 304 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,603 God, you must be exhausted all the time. 305 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,039 I am. 306 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,277 There's Mr. Goodboy. 307 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,278 He's inside some sort of compound. 308 00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:16,016 "Freedom Chimps: A Libertarian Backyard Safari 309 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,017 and Doomsday Shooting Range." 310 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,420 What the hell is that? 311 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:24,156 We are fighting for freedom... of wild animals. 312 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,593 And they choose to use that freedom 313 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,161 to take selfies with you. 314 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,630 Come, interact with chimps, lions, 315 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,599 and a dolphin in a bathtub. 316 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,901 And unlike government zoos, 317 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,636 you're free to stick your fingers 318 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,505 in any of our cages. 319 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,439 Stick 'em all the way in. 320 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,909 It's a zoo that exploits animals for profit! 321 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,444 So... a zoo. 322 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,881 Mr. Goodboy's already on their site. 323 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,116 But how did they chimp-nap him? 324 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,919 We got a call about a wild baby chimp 325 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,056 roaming around this school. 326 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,658 Clark's gonna rescue him using the latest 327 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,326 in animal recovery technology. 328 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:07,467 We got to get him back! 329 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,669 But I just put a frozen chicken potpie in the oven. 330 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:11,671 Microwave it. 331 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,073 Soggy crust? 332 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,209 I'd rather eat it frozen. 333 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,315 Oh, I can't stop thinking 334 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,351 about Mr. Goodboy in that terrible place. 335 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,953 Every moment he's locked up is like 336 00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:29,688 my stomach's being noogied from the inside. 337 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,224 Oh, sweeties, 338 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,094 usually, people don't learn this until they're a parent. 339 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:38,697 Every time your child suffers, you feel the pain. 340 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,099 Just like voodoo dolls. 341 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,633 And it's harder for you two. 342 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:44,938 Unlike normal parents, you chose to have this kid. 343 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:46,373 Bart, you were right. 344 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,808 I should have been more protective of Mr. Goodboy. 345 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,376 That's why we lost him. 346 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:53,079 No, he ran away because I was too overbearing. 347 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,248 I wouldn't let him watch Seinfeld. 348 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,418 Jerry eats too much sugar cereal. 349 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,387 We couldn't help it. 350 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,088 We didn't know what we were doing. 351 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,390 Well, the real problem is 352 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:06,393 we have no model for good parenting. 353 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:10,296 Well, I guess that last Mother's Day card was all a lie. 354 00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,867 Who are all these people? 355 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:16,135 - PETA activists? - No. 356 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,405 Competing documentarians. 357 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:21,274 Out of my way. I directed the third Fyre Festival doc! 358 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,409 I directed the second Theranos. 359 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:27,414 Hey, hey, Sam Bankman-Fried polycule doc coming through. 360 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:32,318 Oh, that sounds like Mr. Goodboy. 361 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,858 Oh, man. That's a lot of groin grabbers. 362 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,994 Mr. Goodboy. 363 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,630 Don't worry, baby, we'll get you out. 364 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,635 Oh, no. That's his "I miss my home" ook. 365 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,471 Mr. Goodboy, here's the key. 366 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,640 Unlock the door. 367 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,914 Don't worry. That'll come out later, 368 00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:03,249 just like Mom's lip balm did. 369 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,656 These aren't babies. 370 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:11,925 They're three-year-olds. 371 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,032 Marge, I need you to tell me the combination 372 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,900 to my codpiece lock. 373 00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,469 It's in my password manager app. 374 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,336 Just give him the damn cod-com code. 375 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,205 It's making me do a captcha. 376 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,341 Is a "don't walk" sign a traffic light? 377 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,810 Yes, foot traffic is traffic! 378 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,413 The code's one-one-one-one. 379 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:39,953 Hey, monkeys, 380 00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:42,354 chomp on these alpha bits. 381 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,358 Here it is! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! 382 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,464 ♪ 'Cause you'll be in my heart ♪ 383 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:56,502 ♪ Yes, you'll be in my heart ♪ 384 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,372 ♪ From this day on ♪ 385 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:04,310 ♪ Now and forevermore ♪ 386 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,317 ♪ You'll be in my heart ♪ 387 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:16,389 ♪ No matter what they say ♪ 388 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:21,327 ♪ You'll be here in my heart ♪ 389 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,797 ♪ Always. ♪ 390 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:30,002 Turns out this place violated 30 different regulations. 391 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,439 That's their reptile house. 392 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,274 Don't worry, all the animals are going 393 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,143 to an actual wildlife sanctuary. 394 00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:40,279 50 acres of perfect chimpanzee habitat. 395 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,648 You may take our monkeys, 396 00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:43,816 but you'll never take our secret monkeys! 397 00:19:43,817 --> 00:19:46,886 Don't listen to my sister. There are no secret monkeys. 398 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,421 Or secret tigers. 399 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,124 Or secret tiger-monkey breeding facility. 400 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,560 Wait. They're brother and sister? 401 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,563 Oh, yeah. They found a circus bear cub in a trash can 402 00:19:56,663 --> 00:20:00,500 and devoted their whole lives to obsessing about animals. 403 00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,970 Your hippo dung showered another kid. 404 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:08,608 Oh, sure, when he sprays feces with his tail, he's my hippo. 405 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:17,583 You know, maybe Mr. Goodboy should go to that sanctuary. 406 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:20,053 Yes, it's probably what's best for him. 407 00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:22,455 Oh, but I'm sure going to miss him. 408 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,759 Kids, I know it's hard, but it's a parent's job 409 00:20:25,859 --> 00:20:27,192 to sacrifice anything 410 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,462 to keep their kids happy and safe. 411 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,730 As you've seen today, your father, 412 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:35,801 as much as he loves his swimsuit area, 413 00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,670 he loves you more. 414 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:38,905 - Aw. - Aw. 415 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:40,640 - Ew. - Ew. 416 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:44,210 ♪ Ooh, you'll be in my heart ♪ 417 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,079 ♪ You'll be here in my heart ♪ 418 00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:47,814 ♪ No matter what they... ♪ 419 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,078 Come on, stupid machine! 420 00:21:32,192 --> 00:21:33,326 Shh! 421 00:21:36,327 --> 00:21:39,215 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com