1 00:00:06,936 --> 00:00:11,690 [PERSON 1] One, two, three, 2 00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:17,238 - four, five, six... - [CLOCK TICKING] 3 00:00:17,905 --> 00:00:23,119 - ... seven, eight, nine, ten... - [PERSON 2 SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 4 00:00:23,994 --> 00:00:28,916 ... 11, 12, 13. 5 00:00:29,542 --> 00:00:32,169 - [♪ MUZAK PLAYING FAINTLY] - [PHONE RINGING] 6 00:00:44,557 --> 00:00:46,767 [RAPID TICKING] 7 00:00:54,817 --> 00:00:56,110 Do you want some coffee? 8 00:00:56,861 --> 00:00:58,487 No, I hate coffee. 9 00:01:01,115 --> 00:01:02,199 [SIGHS] 10 00:01:05,703 --> 00:01:10,499 [PERSON 1] Two, four, six, eight, 11 00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:14,920 10, 11, 12, 13. 12 00:01:16,422 --> 00:01:18,799 [PHONE RINGING] 13 00:01:24,096 --> 00:01:25,306 [DINGS] 14 00:01:32,313 --> 00:01:35,191 [PERSON 3] I have been planning this and planning this for a year. 15 00:01:35,274 --> 00:01:38,903 Everyone knows how important my birthday is to me. Everyone. 16 00:01:40,112 --> 00:01:43,240 I mean, last year, Hawaii, Kona... Whatever, it was fine. 17 00:01:43,324 --> 00:01:46,035 But this year, this birthday on my lucky number, 18 00:01:46,118 --> 00:01:50,539 the 13th, falls on Friday the 13th. 19 00:01:50,623 --> 00:01:53,584 And I am going on this trip. 20 00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:55,336 And I'm so excited about it. 21 00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:57,630 And last night, I found out that Ben is canceling. 22 00:01:57,713 --> 00:02:01,759 And that's why you asked for this emergency couples therapy session? 23 00:02:01,842 --> 00:02:05,095 I am just so mad at him. 24 00:02:06,472 --> 00:02:09,683 You are getting on that plane tomorrow and you are going on that trip. 25 00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:11,268 Or? 26 00:02:13,896 --> 00:02:14,897 Or... 27 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,192 else I'm breaking up with you. 28 00:02:18,984 --> 00:02:19,985 [SOFTLY] What? 29 00:02:20,486 --> 00:02:22,947 - That seems a little harsh, no? - [THERAPIST] Ben, I'd... 30 00:02:23,030 --> 00:02:24,532 I'd like to interject here. Uh... 31 00:02:25,324 --> 00:02:28,911 As you know, Kira, who I've been seeing for years, 32 00:02:28,994 --> 00:02:32,748 since her troubles with bulimia, which I know she shared with you... 33 00:02:33,582 --> 00:02:35,626 Uh... [CLEARS THROAT] Kira has a condition called... 34 00:02:35,709 --> 00:02:37,044 Triskaidekaphilia? 35 00:02:37,127 --> 00:02:39,088 Yes, I'm aware, yeah. 36 00:02:39,171 --> 00:02:41,215 She's obsessed with the number 13. 37 00:02:41,298 --> 00:02:43,300 She... To her, it's a sign of good luck. 38 00:02:43,384 --> 00:02:44,385 [CHUCKLES] 39 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:47,429 She's into numerology. She talks about it... 40 00:02:48,514 --> 00:02:49,515 a lot. 41 00:02:50,599 --> 00:02:51,600 Is that a dig? 42 00:02:52,768 --> 00:02:53,769 Ben... [SIGHS] 43 00:02:53,852 --> 00:02:57,481 I'm aware that you and Kira have only been dating two months, 44 00:02:57,565 --> 00:03:00,985 and flying across the world to the 13 isles of the Grenadines 45 00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:04,446 may be a work inconvenience or... 46 00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:06,031 He's in the hospice care business, 47 00:03:06,115 --> 00:03:09,577 and his last client died yesterday, so he's free. 48 00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:13,622 Or maybe it's too big a step now in your relationship. 49 00:03:14,290 --> 00:03:15,916 - Oh. - No, no, no, no. No, no, no. 50 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,876 It is... It is not that. 51 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:19,837 No. [CHUCKLES] 52 00:03:20,421 --> 00:03:22,339 Uh... It's more the... 53 00:03:22,423 --> 00:03:23,966 [KIRA] What? Say it. 54 00:03:24,049 --> 00:03:26,510 From the look on your face, it's obviously big. 55 00:03:27,261 --> 00:03:28,429 [BEN EXHALES] 56 00:03:29,722 --> 00:03:31,015 Are... 57 00:03:31,098 --> 00:03:32,474 Are you not a Taylor fan? 58 00:03:32,558 --> 00:03:34,601 You lied to me? You're not a Swiftie? 59 00:03:34,685 --> 00:03:37,104 No, no, no. I-I actually, I really like Taylor. 60 00:03:37,187 --> 00:03:40,607 I have 13 of my best girlfriends going on this trip. 61 00:03:40,691 --> 00:03:41,734 And I told them... 62 00:03:42,318 --> 00:03:43,861 "Ben is the greatest. 63 00:03:43,944 --> 00:03:46,572 You're going to meet him and fall in love with him." 64 00:03:46,655 --> 00:03:48,240 And what am I going to tell them now? 65 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,494 Starting today, you are gonna tell them the truth. 66 00:03:52,578 --> 00:03:54,455 [SIGHS, CHUCKLES] 67 00:03:56,332 --> 00:03:58,125 I have triskaidekaphobia. 68 00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,085 What? What is that? 69 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,801 I have a fear of the number 13. 70 00:04:08,344 --> 00:04:10,220 [♪ "THIRTEEN" PLAYING] 71 00:04:10,304 --> 00:04:11,930 - [BEN PANTING] - _ 72 00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:13,218 _ 73 00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:22,316 ♪ Bad luck wind been blowing at my back ♪ 74 00:04:22,399 --> 00:04:24,526 [INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA] 75 00:04:25,778 --> 00:04:30,699 ♪ I was born to bring trouble to wherever I'm at ♪ 76 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:32,743 [ALL CHEERING] 77 00:04:32,826 --> 00:04:34,161 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 78 00:04:34,244 --> 00:04:37,873 ♪ Got the number 13 tattooed on my neck ♪ 79 00:04:37,956 --> 00:04:38,957 [GRUNTS] 80 00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:42,252 [INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA] 81 00:04:42,336 --> 00:04:47,383 ♪ When the ink starts to itch then the black will turn to red ♪ 82 00:04:47,466 --> 00:04:49,343 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 83 00:04:50,469 --> 00:04:55,391 ♪ I was born in the soul of misery ♪ 84 00:04:55,474 --> 00:04:56,558 Fuck it. 85 00:04:56,642 --> 00:04:59,103 ♪ Never had me a name ♪ 86 00:05:00,771 --> 00:05:06,527 ♪ They just gave me the number when I was young... ♪ 87 00:05:07,361 --> 00:05:10,572 Girl, you need to perk the fuck up, okay? This is a good thing. 88 00:05:10,656 --> 00:05:11,865 You're better off without him. 89 00:05:11,949 --> 00:05:13,575 But he fucked me so good. 90 00:05:13,659 --> 00:05:15,077 And he actually wanted children. 91 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,746 And his favorite album was Evermore, which is my favorite album. 92 00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:18,831 [FRIEND 1] Fuck him, okay? 93 00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:20,624 We're gonna party and we're gonna 94 00:05:20,634 --> 00:05:23,127 just enjoy this fucking birthday, girl. 95 00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:24,920 - Come on. - Yeah. 96 00:05:25,003 --> 00:05:28,507 - Here's to all things 13. - Cheers again to that. 97 00:05:28,590 --> 00:05:30,259 [PA DINGS] 98 00:05:30,342 --> 00:05:32,678 [PILOT] Cabin crew, please prepare for departure. 99 00:05:32,761 --> 00:05:34,847 - [FRIEND 2] Mimosas, right? - [FRIEND 1] Oh, my God... 100 00:05:36,056 --> 00:05:39,518 [BEN] Six, eight, ten, 12, 13. 101 00:05:43,105 --> 00:05:48,694 ♪ I was born in the soul of misery ♪ 102 00:05:48,777 --> 00:05:51,363 ♪ Never had me a name ♪ 103 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:56,744 ♪ They just gave me the number when I was young ♪ 104 00:05:56,827 --> 00:05:58,203 [FLIGHT ATTENDANT] Ladies and gentlemen, 105 00:05:58,287 --> 00:05:59,870 we are aware that it is just a little 106 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,123 warm on tonight's flight. As soon as... 107 00:06:01,206 --> 00:06:06,670 ♪ I was born in the soul of misery ♪ 108 00:06:06,754 --> 00:06:08,589 ♪ Never had me a name ♪ 109 00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,674 - [PA DINGS] - [PILOT SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 110 00:06:10,758 --> 00:06:15,387 ♪ They just gave me the number when I was young... ♪ 111 00:06:15,471 --> 00:06:18,515 - You did it. You made it. - [EXHALES] I did it, for you. 112 00:06:18,599 --> 00:06:20,350 Had to face my fear head-on. 113 00:06:22,102 --> 00:06:23,145 Hi. 114 00:06:23,228 --> 00:06:25,147 What's the worst that could happen, right? 115 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:29,526 That's what I just kept saying to myself as I raced here. That's it. 116 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:35,157 Honestly, what's the worst that could happen? 117 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,575 [GIGGLES] 118 00:06:36,658 --> 00:06:37,868 [♪ SONG ENDS] 119 00:06:46,084 --> 00:06:47,711 - [THUNDER RUMBLING] - [INHALES SHARPLY] 120 00:06:50,672 --> 00:06:52,174 [PA DINGS] 121 00:06:52,257 --> 00:06:54,301 [PILOT] Ladies and gentlemen, we're, uh... 122 00:06:54,384 --> 00:06:57,387 From the cockpit again, we're asking our flight attendants 123 00:06:57,471 --> 00:07:00,891 please to take their seats, uh, as soon as they can. 124 00:07:01,475 --> 00:07:03,101 We're maneuvering around some, uh, buildup... 125 00:07:03,185 --> 00:07:04,937 - [KIRA GASPS] - ... and thunderstorms. 126 00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,481 So flight attendants, as soon as you can... 127 00:07:07,564 --> 00:07:09,066 - please, take your seats... - It's all right. 128 00:07:09,149 --> 00:07:11,860 - [EXPLOSION] - [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 129 00:07:11,944 --> 00:07:13,570 [OBJECTS CLATTERING] 130 00:07:13,654 --> 00:07:16,823 - [ENGINE WHIRRING] - [SCREAMING] 131 00:07:18,408 --> 00:07:20,702 [♪ "MOONLIGHT SONATA" PLAYING ON PIANO] 132 00:07:20,786 --> 00:07:22,079 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 133 00:07:22,162 --> 00:07:23,789 [♪ MUSIC CONTINUES] 134 00:07:37,427 --> 00:07:39,471 [TEACHER] Very nice, Ophelia. 135 00:07:42,724 --> 00:07:44,309 Now concentrate. 136 00:07:45,519 --> 00:07:47,104 No, no, no, do not frown. 137 00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:51,942 Yes, better. 138 00:07:52,943 --> 00:07:56,613 A neutral expression works best for the Ascendas spell. 139 00:07:56,697 --> 00:08:00,701 The effort should be evidenced by the act of objet levitation, 140 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:03,370 not by the constipated look on your face. 141 00:08:08,875 --> 00:08:11,920 Madison. Thoughts? 142 00:08:13,505 --> 00:08:15,841 [MADISON] The wrist action is delightfully faggy 143 00:08:15,924 --> 00:08:17,759 and in the "they/them" pocket. 144 00:08:19,052 --> 00:08:20,429 Surprise, bitch. 145 00:08:20,929 --> 00:08:22,097 This witch approves. 146 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:24,516 [THUNDER RUMBLING, CRACKING] 147 00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:27,686 - [ORB SHATTERS] - [STUDENTS EXCLAIM] 148 00:08:27,769 --> 00:08:28,895 Close the shutters. 149 00:08:28,979 --> 00:08:30,105 [WIND HOWLING] 150 00:08:40,073 --> 00:08:42,034 What? What do you sense? 151 00:08:42,117 --> 00:08:43,702 [♪ TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] 152 00:08:43,785 --> 00:08:45,037 A harbinger... 153 00:08:47,789 --> 00:08:48,999 of our doom. 154 00:08:49,082 --> 00:08:51,710 [THUNDER RUMBLING, CRACKING] 155 00:08:51,793 --> 00:08:52,878 Death. 156 00:08:54,588 --> 00:08:58,342 So much terrifying, vengeful death. 157 00:08:59,259 --> 00:09:01,970 It's probably global warming. 158 00:09:02,054 --> 00:09:03,430 You're always so dramatic. 159 00:09:06,642 --> 00:09:08,310 Well, it is my job. 160 00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:12,606 I am the fucking Supreme. 161 00:09:17,444 --> 00:09:20,238 But something wicked this way comes. 162 00:09:34,169 --> 00:09:36,171 [♪ EERIE MUSIC PLAYING] 163 00:09:40,676 --> 00:09:42,928 Okay, it's time. 164 00:09:43,553 --> 00:09:46,348 Let's shuffle off to Buffalo, as they say. 165 00:09:46,431 --> 00:09:48,767 [PERSON WHEEZING] 166 00:10:14,126 --> 00:10:15,252 Go on now. 167 00:10:17,963 --> 00:10:19,464 [GROANING] 168 00:10:27,723 --> 00:10:31,101 [♪ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] 169 00:10:31,184 --> 00:10:34,021 [FOOTSTEPS THUDDING] 170 00:10:42,612 --> 00:10:44,781 [GROANING] 171 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,960 [THUNDERCLAP] 172 00:10:58,503 --> 00:11:00,088 [GROWLING SOFTLY] 173 00:11:12,392 --> 00:11:13,643 [GROANING] 174 00:11:16,938 --> 00:11:18,899 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 175 00:11:20,275 --> 00:11:22,069 [GURGLING] 176 00:11:25,530 --> 00:11:28,241 - [CRASHING] - [ALL SCREAMING] 177 00:11:33,371 --> 00:11:34,790 Oh, my God! 178 00:11:35,957 --> 00:11:36,958 Grab my hand! 179 00:11:37,042 --> 00:11:40,337 - [GURGLING] - [BONES CRACKING] 180 00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:46,384 - [BEN] I got you! - [SCREAMS] 181 00:11:54,309 --> 00:11:55,602 [SCREAMING] 182 00:12:02,692 --> 00:12:03,693 Oh, my God. 183 00:12:05,153 --> 00:12:08,573 - [THUNDER RUMBLING, CRACKING] - [SCREAMING CONTINUES] 184 00:12:08,657 --> 00:12:11,118 [PLANE RATTLING] 185 00:12:12,869 --> 00:12:15,247 [KIRA CRYING] 186 00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:18,166 - [ENGINE WHIRRING] - [OBJECTS CLATTERING] 187 00:13:38,788 --> 00:13:40,999 [♪ MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING] 188 00:13:43,835 --> 00:13:47,339 [HORN HONKING IN DISTANCE] 189 00:14:47,816 --> 00:14:49,859 Welcome to the Apollyon. How may I help you? 190 00:14:49,943 --> 00:14:53,488 Yeah, hi. Uh, my name's Ben DeSoto. 191 00:14:54,155 --> 00:14:55,907 - I'm here to see the caregiver. - Yes. 192 00:14:55,991 --> 00:14:57,575 We've been waiting for you. Thirteenth floor. 193 00:14:57,659 --> 00:14:59,744 [ECHOING] Thirteenth floor. Thirteenth floor. 194 00:14:59,828 --> 00:15:01,830 [♪ EERIE MUSIC PLAYING] 195 00:15:02,956 --> 00:15:04,207 I'm sorry... 196 00:15:05,417 --> 00:15:08,795 There are no 13th floors in any residential building in the city. 197 00:15:08,878 --> 00:15:10,255 Well, there are in this one. 198 00:15:10,839 --> 00:15:13,842 Your client owns the entire 13th floor. 199 00:15:13,925 --> 00:15:16,636 What a renovation some years back. 200 00:15:17,846 --> 00:15:19,014 But worth it. 201 00:15:19,973 --> 00:15:22,183 You don't believe in that old superstition, do you? 202 00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:26,521 That the 13th floor is cursed or some weird, unnatural thing like that? 203 00:15:30,692 --> 00:15:32,193 The elevator's on the right. 204 00:15:32,277 --> 00:15:33,695 [PERSON WHEEZING] 205 00:15:36,322 --> 00:15:38,742 - Have a good day. - [BEN] Yeah, you too. 206 00:15:38,825 --> 00:15:40,243 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 207 00:15:40,326 --> 00:15:42,328 [♪ MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING] 208 00:16:41,387 --> 00:16:46,518 [BEN] One, two, three, four, 209 00:16:46,601 --> 00:16:50,647 five, six, seven, 210 00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:53,358 eight, nine, 211 00:16:53,441 --> 00:16:55,652 10, 11, 12... 212 00:16:56,361 --> 00:16:57,737 Thirteen. 213 00:16:57,821 --> 00:16:59,239 [FIRE CRACKLING] 214 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,587 Admiring The Last Supper, I see. 215 00:17:15,213 --> 00:17:18,508 Jesus and his 12 disciples, 216 00:17:18,591 --> 00:17:22,512 including that very misunderstood Judas. 217 00:17:22,595 --> 00:17:25,431 [SUCKS IN BREATH] You can almost taste that hummus. 218 00:17:25,515 --> 00:17:28,017 It's a very good imitation of a very good painting. 219 00:17:28,101 --> 00:17:29,686 Imitation? 220 00:17:29,769 --> 00:17:31,104 Oh... [CHUCKLING] 221 00:17:31,187 --> 00:17:34,482 Well, it's a goddamn da Vinci masterpiece. 222 00:17:34,566 --> 00:17:38,027 The one in the Basilica di Santa Maria delle Grazie, 223 00:17:38,111 --> 00:17:39,320 that's the copy. 224 00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:41,990 Sorry. 225 00:17:43,908 --> 00:17:46,327 I'm the nighttime attendant. It's nice to meet you. 226 00:17:48,621 --> 00:17:51,374 [♪ TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] 227 00:17:54,419 --> 00:17:55,462 Are you all right, ma'am? 228 00:17:57,589 --> 00:18:00,133 [SNIFFS] I'm sorry, it's-it's just, 229 00:18:00,216 --> 00:18:04,888 in this thin winter light, with that swarthy complexion, 230 00:18:04,971 --> 00:18:07,682 for an instant, you looked just like... 231 00:18:09,058 --> 00:18:11,102 [VOICE QUAVERING] ... a boy I used to know. 232 00:18:13,313 --> 00:18:14,772 Whew! [CHUCKLES] 233 00:18:14,856 --> 00:18:16,232 No, he was a Jew. 234 00:18:18,109 --> 00:18:20,069 - Ah. - Such a sad end. 235 00:18:20,153 --> 00:18:22,113 After my rejection, 236 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:27,827 they found his body washed up on the shores of Lake Pontchartrain. 237 00:18:28,578 --> 00:18:33,958 In his despair, he had leapt from the causeway bridge. 238 00:18:35,585 --> 00:18:38,087 Hmm... I'm sorry. 239 00:18:39,547 --> 00:18:41,382 [SNIFFLES] I'm told your name is Benjamin. 240 00:18:41,466 --> 00:18:42,926 I go by Ben. 241 00:18:43,009 --> 00:18:45,053 Well, that's as Hebrew as Jehovah. 242 00:18:45,136 --> 00:18:47,305 [CHUCKLES] My people are Italian. 243 00:18:47,388 --> 00:18:49,057 [LAUGHING] Oh! 244 00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:51,935 Well, that would have even been worse. 245 00:18:53,144 --> 00:18:55,813 If there was one thing my daddy hated, 246 00:18:56,731 --> 00:18:59,943 it was the "Eye-talians". 247 00:19:00,026 --> 00:19:03,780 All those mobsters and Vatican eunuchs. [CHUCKLING] 248 00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,699 Why, he wouldn't even let them work on our roof. 249 00:19:06,783 --> 00:19:09,410 Come on. [CHUCKLES] Down here. 250 00:19:13,289 --> 00:19:18,169 I don't think I even tried spaghetti until I was 24 years old. 251 00:19:18,253 --> 00:19:19,337 [CHUCKLES] 252 00:19:22,173 --> 00:19:24,801 Here. Here, this way. 253 00:19:26,511 --> 00:19:28,137 Oh. [CHUCKLES] 254 00:19:28,221 --> 00:19:31,766 By the way, I'm Constance, the daytime caregiver. 255 00:19:33,601 --> 00:19:37,105 Well, let me introduce you to Mister. 256 00:19:38,106 --> 00:19:39,107 Please. 257 00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:41,192 [♪ "OLE BUTTERMILK SKY" PLAYING FAINTLY] 258 00:19:44,654 --> 00:19:46,489 [WHEEZING] 259 00:19:46,573 --> 00:19:48,032 [SQUELCHING] 260 00:19:48,950 --> 00:19:51,077 ♪ Ole buttermilk sky ♪ 261 00:19:51,869 --> 00:19:56,124 ♪ I'ma keepin' my eye peeled on you what's the good word... ♪ 262 00:19:56,207 --> 00:19:58,585 [BEN] One, two, 263 00:19:59,752 --> 00:20:02,171 three, four, 264 00:20:02,797 --> 00:20:05,216 five, six, 265 00:20:05,842 --> 00:20:08,595 seven, eight, 266 00:20:08,678 --> 00:20:10,722 - nine... - [CONSTANCE] I found it. Whew! 267 00:20:12,056 --> 00:20:14,058 It had fallen behind his... 268 00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,729 - hemorrhoid cream. [CHUCKLING] - [CHUCKLES] 269 00:20:18,688 --> 00:20:21,983 [CONSTANCE] Arnica, such a product. 270 00:20:22,692 --> 00:20:24,277 - Hail, arnica. - Hail! 271 00:20:28,114 --> 00:20:30,283 Um, so Mr. Nas is... 272 00:20:30,366 --> 00:20:31,868 Eighty-seven years young. 273 00:20:31,951 --> 00:20:35,371 Thirteen more years till a hundred. [CHUCKLES] 274 00:20:35,455 --> 00:20:37,248 Oh, and what a life. 275 00:20:37,957 --> 00:20:41,961 Philanthropist, husband, father to us all. 276 00:20:42,045 --> 00:20:44,589 - [BLOOD SQUELCHING] - Poet and prophet. 277 00:20:44,672 --> 00:20:46,090 [VIAL CLINKING] 278 00:20:46,174 --> 00:20:51,054 Well, he looks a bit like a turtle now, but oh, my, back in the day... 279 00:20:51,137 --> 00:20:52,889 Ooh! [CHUCKLING] 280 00:20:52,972 --> 00:20:54,015 He was a looker. 281 00:20:55,433 --> 00:20:57,435 Age is the ultimate cruelty. 282 00:20:57,518 --> 00:21:00,104 Proof to me that there is no God. 283 00:21:04,942 --> 00:21:06,819 So our patient, 284 00:21:06,903 --> 00:21:09,822 he-he was abandoned by his family for late-stage hospice care? 285 00:21:09,906 --> 00:21:11,157 Abandoned? 286 00:21:12,450 --> 00:21:16,287 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 287 00:21:16,371 --> 00:21:18,373 Loved by us. 288 00:21:18,456 --> 00:21:22,043 Praise his name and what he has done for the world. 289 00:21:26,089 --> 00:21:28,341 [BEN] 10, 11, 290 00:21:29,217 --> 00:21:31,552 12, 13. 291 00:21:31,636 --> 00:21:34,847 Bring on the arnica, Sister Moon. Got what I need. 292 00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:40,395 That's a huge blood draw for someone in late-stage hospice. 293 00:21:40,478 --> 00:21:45,775 Biomarkers. We check for age and disease once a week. 294 00:21:45,858 --> 00:21:47,193 It's in the service contract. 295 00:21:47,276 --> 00:21:50,780 Mr. Nas personally requested this information. 296 00:21:50,863 --> 00:21:52,615 He's a stat kind of guy... 297 00:21:52,699 --> 00:21:55,410 [CHUCKLING] ... apparently, even though he's a vegetable. 298 00:21:55,993 --> 00:21:58,371 [CONSTANCE] Careful, Mr. Phibes. 299 00:21:58,454 --> 00:22:01,708 We don't want our young charge thinking you're a vulgarian. 300 00:22:01,791 --> 00:22:04,794 - Come on, just come on, come on, come on. - [MR. PHIBES] All right. 301 00:22:04,877 --> 00:22:06,129 [CONSTANCE] Let's move this along. 302 00:22:06,212 --> 00:22:08,297 - I've got to show him the ropes. - [SNAKES HISSING] 303 00:22:08,381 --> 00:22:10,383 [♪ MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING] 304 00:22:26,983 --> 00:22:31,612 And now on to my favorite time of day with Mister... [CHUCKLES] 305 00:22:31,696 --> 00:22:35,533 ... something I do religiously before the end of every shift. 306 00:22:37,243 --> 00:22:38,870 The ever delightful... 307 00:22:39,829 --> 00:22:41,497 sponge bath. 308 00:22:48,588 --> 00:22:52,091 Benny... Oh, I'm sorry, may I call you Benny? 309 00:22:52,592 --> 00:22:54,552 - Sure. - Uh... 310 00:22:56,053 --> 00:22:57,430 I just wanna say, 311 00:22:57,513 --> 00:23:01,601 I heard about what had happened from your placement agency. 312 00:23:01,684 --> 00:23:04,979 A horrible plane crash. [GASPS] 313 00:23:05,062 --> 00:23:06,689 And just a month ago? 314 00:23:08,483 --> 00:23:10,151 And yet, here you are. 315 00:23:12,009 --> 00:23:13,052 How? 316 00:23:13,128 --> 00:23:14,337 Um... 317 00:23:15,281 --> 00:23:16,741 It was a miracle, actually. 318 00:23:17,784 --> 00:23:19,619 The plane crashed. 319 00:23:20,328 --> 00:23:21,621 It took a nosedive. 320 00:23:21,704 --> 00:23:24,415 And the pilots, they got it under control, 321 00:23:24,499 --> 00:23:25,958 kind of righted at the last minute. 322 00:23:26,042 --> 00:23:28,294 - Crashed where? - In the ocean. 323 00:23:28,377 --> 00:23:29,921 Oh, my goodness. 324 00:23:30,630 --> 00:23:31,964 That was you. 325 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:37,553 Oh, I read all about it on the Yahoo News. 326 00:23:37,637 --> 00:23:41,849 Yeah, I was in one seat, 13F, that survived the crash somehow. 327 00:23:43,476 --> 00:23:45,155 I don't remember, but the rescue crew found me. 328 00:23:45,165 --> 00:23:46,259 They said I didn't sink. 329 00:23:46,270 --> 00:23:48,564 I didn't have a scratch on me. So, it was... 330 00:23:48,648 --> 00:23:50,358 A goddamn miracle. 331 00:23:50,441 --> 00:23:52,443 [♪ MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING] 332 00:23:57,573 --> 00:23:59,075 Yeah, so my girlfriend, she... 333 00:23:59,158 --> 00:24:01,118 She died, obviously, huh? 334 00:24:02,662 --> 00:24:06,916 Yes, and so did 12 of her friends. 335 00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:09,669 Only one of them didn't die. 336 00:24:10,962 --> 00:24:13,297 She survived, 13B. 337 00:24:14,882 --> 00:24:16,008 And so did I. 338 00:24:16,092 --> 00:24:17,885 Gracious. Oh! 339 00:24:18,970 --> 00:24:22,932 Thirteen souls taken. Hmm. 340 00:24:25,810 --> 00:24:26,811 Ooh. 341 00:24:27,562 --> 00:24:31,440 The universe must have something in store for you. 342 00:24:35,736 --> 00:24:38,072 Signs and wonders. 343 00:24:43,744 --> 00:24:45,705 Time for the sponge bath. 344 00:24:48,875 --> 00:24:52,587 [BEN] Feel my hand. I've got one here. Yep. 345 00:24:52,670 --> 00:24:54,630 [MR. NAS WHEEZING] 346 00:24:55,673 --> 00:24:56,966 [BEN] Got your head. 347 00:25:03,556 --> 00:25:04,765 [TURNS FAUCET OFF] 348 00:25:04,849 --> 00:25:08,853 Mister likes to bathe in Jean Naté body splash, 349 00:25:08,936 --> 00:25:11,939 so we pour in an extra dash. [GIGGLES] 350 00:25:12,690 --> 00:25:13,703 [SNIFFS] 351 00:25:13,713 --> 00:25:14,817 Ooh, hoo! 352 00:25:14,901 --> 00:25:16,611 What a wonderful smell. 353 00:25:18,237 --> 00:25:21,741 You know, it smells just like 1983. 354 00:25:21,824 --> 00:25:24,577 Oh, what a year that was. 355 00:25:25,202 --> 00:25:27,872 Bowie was big that year. [CHUCKLES] 356 00:25:27,955 --> 00:25:29,498 Bigger than any gods. 357 00:25:30,333 --> 00:25:35,713 And of course, my... my daughter was born in 1983. 358 00:25:35,796 --> 00:25:36,964 Or, no, wait, wait. 359 00:25:38,382 --> 00:25:40,259 Maybe it was earlier. Hmm... 360 00:25:41,510 --> 00:25:43,137 Your daughter, is she still with us? 361 00:25:43,804 --> 00:25:45,556 Oh, yes. 362 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,894 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. [LAUGHS] 363 00:25:49,977 --> 00:25:53,648 All of my children are alive and thriving. 364 00:25:56,317 --> 00:26:00,529 Okay, so we start with the orifices, 365 00:26:00,613 --> 00:26:03,991 openings, membranes, wherever we find them. 366 00:26:04,075 --> 00:26:05,785 [♪ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 367 00:26:05,868 --> 00:26:07,286 [CONSTANCE] Mm-hmm. 368 00:26:09,580 --> 00:26:12,625 Yeah, and his nostrils. 369 00:26:13,584 --> 00:26:17,254 Clean out that old-man debris, snot, and pollution. 370 00:26:17,338 --> 00:26:21,634 That's right, just stretch and swab, stretch and swab. 371 00:26:21,717 --> 00:26:23,511 - [WATER SPLASHING] - Good, okay. 372 00:26:23,594 --> 00:26:24,845 Now his nips. 373 00:26:27,431 --> 00:26:30,601 His nips. Uh, nipples. Hmm. 374 00:26:35,398 --> 00:26:36,983 [MR. NAS WHEEZING] 375 00:26:38,442 --> 00:26:40,653 And then we move on to his urethra. 376 00:26:40,736 --> 00:26:42,405 [WATER SPLASHES] 377 00:26:45,241 --> 00:26:48,077 I'm... What, I'm sorry, what? 378 00:26:49,537 --> 00:26:51,330 His urethra. 379 00:26:51,414 --> 00:26:52,915 It's just another membrane, 380 00:26:52,999 --> 00:26:57,169 and we have to keep all the mucus and bodily fluids running. 381 00:26:57,253 --> 00:27:00,172 Keep everything in good operational condition. 382 00:27:00,256 --> 00:27:03,426 Wait, I have worked in hospice for five years, 383 00:27:03,509 --> 00:27:05,400 and I have never once been asked to 384 00:27:05,410 --> 00:27:07,221 clean a patient's urethra pre-catheter. 385 00:27:07,304 --> 00:27:12,226 Well, it's what we do here, so just do it. 386 00:27:14,353 --> 00:27:17,356 Do it! Go on, get a... get a Q-tip over there. 387 00:27:26,532 --> 00:27:29,285 Okay. Come on. Come on. 388 00:27:29,952 --> 00:27:31,370 Now you open the glans, 389 00:27:32,037 --> 00:27:36,167 and then you swab, swab, swab, swab. 390 00:27:36,250 --> 00:27:39,170 Swish that old thing around in the Jean Naté suds. 391 00:27:39,795 --> 00:27:41,172 Like that. Yeah, good. 392 00:27:41,255 --> 00:27:43,340 Okay. And then it's done and you're glad you did it. 393 00:27:43,424 --> 00:27:45,342 [MR. NAS WHEEZING] 394 00:27:46,343 --> 00:27:49,096 Now we're gonna move on to, uh... 395 00:27:49,805 --> 00:27:50,890 [CHUCKLES] 396 00:27:50,973 --> 00:27:51,974 Down under. 397 00:27:54,310 --> 00:27:55,352 [SIGHS] 398 00:27:56,687 --> 00:27:57,813 We're going to... 399 00:28:00,983 --> 00:28:02,860 His butthole, okay? 400 00:28:04,779 --> 00:28:07,323 Well, you're looking at me like I'm some kind of fucking pervert. 401 00:28:07,406 --> 00:28:09,658 - No, not at all. - It's in his contract. 402 00:28:09,742 --> 00:28:12,620 He asks for it. He demands it. We do it. 403 00:28:12,703 --> 00:28:14,371 - Okay? - I understand. 404 00:28:14,455 --> 00:28:15,539 Okay. 405 00:28:17,374 --> 00:28:19,835 Nice and clean, right as rain. 406 00:28:19,919 --> 00:28:22,838 - [MR. NAS WHEEZING] - [CONSTANCE] Good. All right. 407 00:28:25,090 --> 00:28:26,091 Well... 408 00:28:27,218 --> 00:28:29,178 Oh, darling, when you finish here, 409 00:28:29,261 --> 00:28:31,013 you think you could be a lamb 410 00:28:31,096 --> 00:28:33,432 and run down to the corner to the Korean 411 00:28:33,516 --> 00:28:34,975 and get me a pack of ciggies? 412 00:28:35,059 --> 00:28:37,353 Could you do that? Huh? 413 00:28:38,312 --> 00:28:40,356 I'm off to change his linens. 414 00:29:02,086 --> 00:29:04,088 [♪ MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING] 415 00:29:10,845 --> 00:29:12,137 [WHEEZING] 416 00:29:23,566 --> 00:29:25,568 [DOOR CREAKING] 417 00:29:25,651 --> 00:29:26,969 [NEWS ANCHOR] In part two of our report, 418 00:29:26,979 --> 00:29:28,612 we'll tie together how the recent droughts 419 00:29:28,696 --> 00:29:31,198 have not only put us at the brink of a worldwide food shortage, 420 00:29:31,282 --> 00:29:33,993 but how it could lead to the next global pandemic. Jessica. 421 00:29:34,076 --> 00:29:35,896 - [JESSICA] No leads in Italy after... - _ 422 00:29:35,906 --> 00:29:37,746 - ... another brazen cemetery break-in. - _ 423 00:29:37,830 --> 00:29:41,625 Outside Bologna, thieves burglarized a guarded crypt, 424 00:29:41,709 --> 00:29:44,712 making off with the remains of Benito Mussolini, 425 00:29:44,795 --> 00:29:47,131 the late dictator known as Il Duce. 426 00:29:47,214 --> 00:29:51,635 The ransacking of the World War II despot's final resting place 427 00:29:51,719 --> 00:29:54,763 - is the latest in a worldwide string... - [PHONE DINGS] 428 00:29:54,847 --> 00:29:56,348 ... of grave robberies. 429 00:29:56,432 --> 00:29:57,853 - Corpses of the infamous have... - _ 430 00:29:57,863 --> 00:29:59,685 ... gone missing throughout Europe, 431 00:29:59,768 --> 00:30:02,146 and Interpol is on high alert. 432 00:30:02,730 --> 00:30:03,772 [LOUD THUD] 433 00:30:03,856 --> 00:30:05,204 Our reporters are in the mountains of 434 00:30:05,214 --> 00:30:06,692 Northern Italy. We take you there now. 435 00:30:06,775 --> 00:30:08,777 [♪ MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING] 436 00:30:10,613 --> 00:30:11,655 [DOORS OPEN] 437 00:30:15,034 --> 00:30:17,620 [BREATHING SHAKILY] 438 00:30:30,132 --> 00:30:33,302 [CREAKING] 439 00:30:54,531 --> 00:30:56,533 [♪ TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] 440 00:30:57,910 --> 00:31:00,120 [PANTING] 441 00:31:20,766 --> 00:31:21,976 [WHEEZING] 442 00:31:22,059 --> 00:31:23,519 [GASPS] 443 00:31:23,602 --> 00:31:26,981 [♪ "TONIGHT YOU BELONG TO ME" PLAYING] 444 00:31:27,064 --> 00:31:29,233 - ♪ I know ♪ - ♪ I know ♪ 445 00:31:29,316 --> 00:31:35,823 ♪ You belong to somebody new ♪ 446 00:31:35,906 --> 00:31:42,287 ♪ But tonight, you belong to me ♪ 447 00:31:44,707 --> 00:31:46,792 - ♪ Although ♪ - ♪ Although ♪ 448 00:31:46,875 --> 00:31:53,507 ♪ We're apart, you're part of my heart ♪ 449 00:31:53,590 --> 00:32:00,097 ♪ And tonight, you belong to me ♪ 450 00:32:02,266 --> 00:32:06,520 ♪ Way down by the stream ♪ 451 00:32:06,603 --> 00:32:10,941 ♪ How sweet it will seem ♪ 452 00:32:11,025 --> 00:32:17,322 ♪ Once more just to dream in the moonlight ♪ 453 00:32:18,949 --> 00:32:22,202 - ♪ My honey, I know ♪ - ♪ I know ♪ 454 00:32:22,286 --> 00:32:28,709 ♪ With the dawn that you will be gone ♪ 455 00:32:28,792 --> 00:32:35,382 ♪ But tonight, you belong to me ♪ 456 00:32:37,676 --> 00:32:42,097 ♪ Way down, way down along the stream ♪ 457 00:32:42,181 --> 00:32:46,351 ♪ How very, very sweet it will seem ♪ 458 00:32:46,435 --> 00:32:51,106 ♪ Once more just to dream ♪ 459 00:32:51,190 --> 00:32:54,359 ♪ In the silvery moonlight ♪ 460 00:32:54,443 --> 00:32:57,821 - ♪ My honey, I know ♪ - ♪ I know ♪ 461 00:32:57,905 --> 00:33:04,244 ♪ With the dawn that you will be gone ♪ 462 00:33:04,328 --> 00:33:10,000 ♪ But tonight, you belong to me ♪ 463 00:33:10,084 --> 00:33:13,712 ♪ Just to little old me ♪ 464 00:33:15,901 --> 00:33:20,901 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com -