1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,298 * The Simpsons d 2 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,261 So, based on the story of Moses, 3 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:15,015 how many of the Ten Commandments did my ex-husband, Bill, break? 4 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,519 If I am to understand "covet" correctly, five. 5 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,688 Her spray tan was on my sheets! 6 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,567 Just watch a video. 7 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,573 Itchy and Scratchy in Sunday school? 8 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:32,908 It's a miracle! 9 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,495 Chest bump! 10 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:41,583 Abraham, take your son Isaac to the land of Moriah 11 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:44,586 and make him a sacrifice unto me. 12 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:47,839 Stab the baby in the face! 13 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:51,093 Halt! You have proven you love God. 14 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:56,431 I bless you and will multiply your seed like the stars of heaven. 15 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,768 * Smite, smite, smite, Then they're saved d 16 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:03,689 * God is the king of kings d 17 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,067 What is this nice crap? 18 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,278 I want to see tummy ketchup. 19 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:12,030 Why the hell are Itchy and Scratchy shilling for God? 20 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:15,200 Why the hell are Itchy and Scratchy shilling for God? 21 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,202 I'd never approve that! 22 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:21,123 How can you use my cartoons without my permission? 23 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:25,210 Because Itchy and Scratchy is so old that the copyright has expired. 24 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,670 Now they're in the public domain. 25 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,798 Anyone can use their image or likeness for free. 26 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,634 "Free" don't burn holes in my septum! 27 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,636 Well, it's not just your characters. 28 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,180 The same thing has happened to such beloved properties 29 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:38,682 as Babar the Elephant. 30 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:39,933 What? 31 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,519 - Popeye. - Oh, no! 32 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,730 - Even Winnie the Pooh! - Oh, not Pooh. 33 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,107 This is a financial calamity. 34 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:50,068 Oh, I'm kind of into that lady kangaroo though. 35 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,945 They're stealing my money! 36 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:55,407 Oh, there's something about a skinny kangaroo. 37 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,618 Well, if you don't want the rest of your show to go into the public domain, 38 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,871 you have to modify your IP. 39 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,623 Put an original spin on your existing characters. 40 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,042 Original, huh? 41 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,420 I'll do what Warner Brothers, Disney, and the Muppets did 42 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,422 when they needed new and original. 43 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,761 Okay, Baby Krusty, you hit Baby Mel with a pie, 44 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,639 juggle a chainsaw, bowling ball and Baby Teeny, 45 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:22,017 then give me a big Jack Benny take to camera three. 46 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,393 And action! 47 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,314 Cut! 48 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:30,233 You call that comedy? Do you see me laughing? 49 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,986 Do you see anyone laughing? Well, do ya? 50 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:38,784 Why didn't somebody warn me never to work with babies or animals? 51 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:42,871 You're fired! 52 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:47,626 Plant a blind item in the press saying he got fresh with the craft services lady. 53 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:53,215 You, headphones, take this no-talent back to the jungle or wherever it came from. 54 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,552 Don't worry, little fella, I'll find you the perfect home. 55 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,224 Oh, my God. Are you seeing this? 56 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:06,019 Someone left a baby chimp in one of those little book houses. 57 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,440 He's so cute! 58 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,484 Look at his little tiny finger pads. 59 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,819 Where'd he come from? 60 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,321 Who cares? If he's in here, he's up for grabs. 61 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:19,157 You and I could actually have a baby chimp! 62 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,410 We could turn the upstairs into a monkey playground. 63 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:25,622 We can grow Tarzan vines for him. How long do Tarzan vines take to grow? 64 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,082 I don't know. We'll pay a guy. 65 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,668 We could turn Maggie's stroller into a monkey mobile. 66 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,753 And put bananas in the cup holder. 67 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:33,588 This just feels so right. 68 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,923 This is our moment. 69 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,259 - Open the door. - I'm opening the door! 70 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,012 Oh, he nuzzled me. 71 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,264 He fist-bumped me. 72 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,557 We've got a monkey! 73 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,891 We've got a monkey. 74 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,768 We've got a monkey! 75 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,397 Mmm. 76 00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:00,198 And we can replace my bed with monkey bars. 77 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:03,618 My mind is sweaty with ideas for chimp Christmas cards. 78 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,163 Mom, Dad, the most amazing thing just happened. 79 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,623 We found a tiny chimp in a tiny house. 80 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,417 Isn't that so lucky? 81 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,128 It's the luckiest thing that ever happened! 82 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,463 A chimpanzo! 83 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,382 Kids, you've gotta find that animal's owner. 84 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:21,803 We did find its owner, us! He was abandoned and we rescued him. 85 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:25,432 We named him Mr. Goodboy because he's such a good boy. 86 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,726 He is! Such a great name, Lis. 87 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,936 - Who is Mr. Goodboy? Mr. Goodboy! - Mr. Goodboy. Mr. Goodboy. 88 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,856 - Mr. Goodboy. Mr. Goodboy. - Good boy. 89 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,025 We can't keep a monkey in the house. 90 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,403 That's gotta be the kind of lesson our family has learned at some point. 91 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:44,034 Oh, I know. A pet chimp is the worst idea in the world, but look, 92 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,370 it's the first time I've ever seen them yelling with each other, 93 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,247 not at each other. 94 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:52,959 Oh, check it out. The cat loves Mr. Goodboy. 95 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,377 They can get married. 96 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:59,299 Just give it time. This will fall apart before we know it. 97 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:02,177 One diaper change for Bart, and he's out. 98 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:06,389 The first monkey tick that Lisa finds in her bed? End of story. 99 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,226 So we just sit back, let the situation implode, 100 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,646 and the kids think it's their fault we're sending the monkey back to the Iceland 101 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,314 or wherever it came from? 102 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,233 Chimp-mate. 103 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:23,156 The rumors are true. The sloppy joe is made from monkey meat. 104 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,039 Mr. Goodboy, are you okay? 105 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:38,755 Stupid kids, you got to pluck the fur off before you flour it. 106 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:42,050 Oh, why did I use you as an expendable prank prop 107 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:45,136 like some sort of Milhouse? From here on out, 108 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,640 I promise I'll do everything I can to keep you out of danger. 109 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,766 Mmm. 110 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:55,856 I wanna make sure you're hitting your social and emotional milestones, 111 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:59,401 so let's check out Mom's parenting books. 112 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,111 Ugh, that didn't work. 113 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,195 That couldn't work. 114 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,282 That led to Bart smoking a pipe. 115 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,829 "Free Range Parenting." They never even unwrapped this one. 116 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:11,913 Let me see. 117 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,457 "Give a child space to make their own mistakes, 118 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,918 and they'll grow up with less anxiety." 119 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:21,756 I have so much anxiety, mainly that I've been raised wrong. 120 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:28,847 Mr. Goodboy, I'm going to give you free range to learn from your own mistakes. 121 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:34,269 And now you've learned how money tastes. 122 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,607 Are we sure this bubble bath is safe for him? 123 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,817 You're such a worrywart all of a sudden. 124 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:44,321 Look, the label says it's tested on monkeys. 125 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:50,410 Oh, this is a nightmare. Our kids have become responsible. 126 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:54,080 We better figure out how to take care of a chimp. 127 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,373 I'll get us a book. 128 00:06:55,457 --> 00:07:00,712 A book? Oh, my eyes get so tired going right, right, right, then… 129 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,464 …left. 130 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,049 How about an audiobook? 131 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,593 My drive time belongs to Moe's podcasts. 132 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,721 He commits crimes, then solves them with the help of the Internet. 133 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,432 Okay, then we'll watch a documentary. 134 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,476 Shark Week, but Chimp Week? 135 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,895 Fine, a YouTube video. 136 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,897 Yes, come get me after the ad. 137 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:23,276 Baby chimps are undeniably cute, highly intelligent, 138 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,695 and bond with humans quite easily. 139 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,239 It's no wonder people are tempted to adopt them. 140 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,910 That's the laundry. You keep watching. 141 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:38,500 However, as chimps mature, they can become violent and dangerous. 142 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:43,505 Adult chimps have a pull force ten times stronger than a man's, 143 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:48,176 and huge canines that turn their bite into a devastating weapon. 144 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,763 Luckily, chimps only attack when provoked. 145 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:52,847 Oh. 146 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,224 Except for the chimps 147 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,685 who live with humans. 148 00:07:56,768 --> 00:08:00,105 The mature chimp perceives his human caretaker as a threat 149 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:04,109 and unmasks him by tearing off his face. 150 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,112 Or biting off a man's genitals. 151 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,618 Nothing provokes a chimp's bloodlust more 152 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:16,746 than a male human he perceives as a rival. 153 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:25,296 No! No, no, no, no, Mr. Goodboy, that's my wedding ring. 154 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:28,466 You can't marry me because I'm married to Homer, 155 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,636 the biggest, strongest male in the house. 156 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,096 Oh. 157 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:37,183 There he is now, the banana-winner of the family. 158 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:41,020 You're a primate, but he's my prime mate. 159 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,653 Okay, this kitchen is officially chimp-proof. 160 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,489 Oh, no, Mr. Goodboy! 161 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,076 What happened? 162 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,288 It's okay. It was just one little monkey jumping on the bed. 163 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,165 He fell down and bumped his head. 164 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,332 Well, I called the doctor, 165 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:04,085 and the doctor said, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed." 166 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,211 He's fine. 167 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,506 He jumped and got a little boo-boo. It's barely an owie. 168 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:12,343 This book taught me, "Don't hover. Let them discover." 169 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,597 You should love that. You're the bad-boy risk taker. 170 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,725 Yes, and it's a miracle I'm alive. Just look at my knees. 171 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,644 Ew. 172 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,938 Right? We have to be super careful. 173 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,400 Well, this says kids need to overcome their own obstacles, 174 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:31,362 and his biggest obstacle is your parental smothering. 175 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:35,700 It's our job to protect him from cuts and burns and adult situations. 176 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:39,871 It's our job to let him fall so he can learn to get back up. 177 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:42,916 We can't fight in front of the little guy. 178 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,668 Everything's perfect. We're a happy family. 179 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,921 We love you, Mr. Goodboy. 180 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,929 Marge, hypothetically, if I were to lose either my face or my snuggle factory, 181 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,013 which would you keep? 182 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,015 - Snuggle factory. - What? 183 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,558 Well, when we're snuggling, 184 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:05,271 I could try to imagine another person's face for the first time ever. 185 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:08,233 - Whose face would you imagine? - Seth Meyers. 186 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,443 Whoa, you sure had that ready to go. 187 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,822 He just seems like he never has to shave. 188 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,907 Oh, come on, who would yours be? 189 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,828 Martha Stewart. She'd make me a great meal then boss me around a little. 190 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:25,894 No! It was a monkey surgeon! 191 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,947 What in the world are you browsing? 192 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,283 Hockey masks and codpieces. 193 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:44,370 I've got to protect our most valuable possessions from ferocious chimp rage, 194 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:47,207 my Homer face and my trouser fruit. 195 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,876 That's ridiculous. He's just a baby. 196 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:54,047 Honey, every scrotum-shredding chimp starts out as an adorable baby 197 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,590 until one day they snap! 198 00:11:55,673 --> 00:12:00,428 Just think, if worse comes to worse, how would I write my name in the snow? 199 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,055 You're coddling him! 200 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,640 You're giving him bad habits! 201 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,808 What's all this fighting? 202 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,937 Stupid Lisa gave Mr. Goodboy a pacifier. 203 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,730 He just grabbed one of Maggie's. 204 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,149 Yeah, and she's a junkie on the pipe. 205 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:18,321 The only thing that's traumatizing him is all this yelling! 206 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,949 Was there ever a time when this worked? 207 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:25,578 Kids, it sounds like you're finding parenting is a lot of responsibility. 208 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,665 It does put a real strain on relationships. 209 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:32,543 When's the last time you two just went out and saw a movie together? 210 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,298 It's hard to admit, but maybe we are in over our heads. 211 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,261 - You're right, we need professional help. - Definitely. 212 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:44,597 They're going to therapy? What if they work things out? 213 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:47,392 Has it ever worked for us? 214 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:48,559 How could it work? 215 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:52,438 You spent the whole last session picking apart my Airbnb choices. 216 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:57,110 Read one review before you book! I beg you! 217 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,954 Great! You have fun with that while Lisa and I get some professional advice. 218 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,206 Nelson? 219 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,791 Where's Ms. Story? 220 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:15,545 Like art class, the music program, and Milhouse on his way to lunch, 221 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,005 she got defunded. 222 00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:22,260 However, I've had lots of these sessions, so I decided to switch sides. 223 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,886 What are you struggling with? 224 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,432 We're co-parenting a baby chimp. 225 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,394 I'm trying to expand his horizons, and Bart is trying to stifle them. 226 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,896 How does that statement make you feel, Bart? 227 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,481 Annoyed, I guess. 228 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,151 Mm-hmm. How does this make you feel? 229 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,485 Ow! 230 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,320 Interesting. 231 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:45,575 Look, you two were raised in a troubled home. Can we agree on that? 232 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,076 - Yes. - It's true. 233 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,621 Plus, it's not natural for a kid to have two parents. 234 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:54,625 How about we un-purple the nurple for a second and wedgie up this relationship? 235 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:59,005 What I'm hearing is that both of you love this monkey so much. 236 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:02,091 I love that you love Mr. Goodboy. 237 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,801 I love that you love him too. 238 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:07,847 Well, I'm afraid that's our time because I'm so bored with your stupid problem. 239 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,600 It's gonna take some work, but I think we can do this. 240 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,270 It's a process, but in the end, we're gonna be better parents. 241 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:16,481 Where's Mr. Goodboy? 242 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,441 Oh, no! He's gone. 243 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,782 I'm trying to buy a car. 244 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,291 Argh! 245 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,503 Oh, my God. We lost Mr. Goodboy! 246 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,755 This was your fault! 247 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,637 Mr. Goodboy ran away from school and we can't find him! 248 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:52,141 Me and my stupid free range-parenting. I should have put a tracker on his collar. 249 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,644 Wait, wait. I did put a tracker on him! 250 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,229 Why didn't you tell me that? 251 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,732 I just remembered! I'm new to being an annoying control freak like you. 252 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,110 God, you must be exhausted all the time. 253 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,569 I am. 254 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:11,911 There's Mr. Goodboy! He's inside some sort of compound. 255 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:16,666 "Freedom Chimps, A Libertarian Backyard Safari and Doomsday Shooting Range." 256 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,501 What the hell's that? 257 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,839 We are fighting for freedom of wild animals! 258 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,926 And they choose to use that freedom to take selfies with you. 259 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:31,055 Come interact with chimps, lions, and a dolphin in a bathtub. 260 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:36,811 And unlike government zoos, you're free to stick your fingers in any of our cages. 261 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,147 Stick 'em all the way in. 262 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,316 It's a zoo that exploits animals for profit! 263 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,818 So, a zoo. 264 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,404 Mr. Goodboy's already on their site! 265 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,614 But how did they chimp-nap him? 266 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,786 We got a call about a wild baby chimp roaming around this school. 267 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:59,709 Clark's gonna rescue him using the latest in animal recovery technology. 268 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,007 We gotta get him back! 269 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,926 But I just put a frozen chicken pot pie in the oven! 270 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,094 Microwave it! 271 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:13,556 Soggy crust? I'd rather eat it frozen. 272 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:24,066 Oh, I can't stop thinking about Mr. Goodboy in that terrible place. 273 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:28,237 Every moment he's locked up it's like my stomach's being noogied from the inside. 274 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,700 Oh, sweeties, usually people don't learn this until they're a parent. 275 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:36,913 Every time your child suffers, you feel the pain. 276 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,748 Just like voodoo dolls. 277 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,416 And it's harder for you two. 278 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:43,419 Unlike normal parents, you chose to have this kid. 279 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,921 Bart, you were right. 280 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:49,008 I should have been more protective of Mr. Goodboy. That's why we lost him! 281 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,886 No, he ran away because I was too overbearing. 282 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:56,682 I wouldn't let him watch Seinfeld. Jerry eats too much sugar cereal! 283 00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,145 We couldn't help it, we didn't know what we were doing. 284 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:05,066 Well, the real problem is we have no model for good parenting. 285 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,277 Well, I guess that last Mother's Day card was all a lie. 286 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,866 Who are all these people? PETA activists? 287 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,911 No, competing documentarians. 288 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,081 Out of my way! I directed the third Fyre Festival doc! 289 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,999 I directed the second Theranos! 290 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:25,461 Hey, hey, Sam Bankman-Fried polycule doc coming through! 291 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,840 Oh, that sounds like Mr. Goodboy. 292 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:37,265 Oh, man. That's a lot of groin grabbers. 293 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,517 Mr. Goodboy! 294 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,936 Don't worry, baby, we'll get you out. 295 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,857 Oh, no. That's his "I miss my home" ook. 296 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,153 Mr. Goodboy, here's the key. Unlock the door. 297 00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:01,205 Don't worry, that'll come out later, just like Mom's lip balm did. 298 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:10,798 These aren't babies! They're three-year-olds. 299 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:19,223 Marge, I need you to tell me the combination to my codpiece lock. 300 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,225 It's in my password manager app. 301 00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,893 Just give him the damn cod-com code! 302 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:26,981 It's making me do a CAPTCHA. Is a "Don't walk" sign a traffic light? 303 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,233 Yes, foot traffic is traffic! 304 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,152 The code's 1-1-1-1. 305 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:41,203 Hey, monkeys! Chomp on these alpha bits! 306 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,874 Here it is. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. 307 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,754 * 'Cause you'll be in my heart * 308 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,800 * Yes, you'll be in my heart * 309 00:18:56,218 --> 00:19:02,224 * From this day on Now and forever more * 310 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:09,815 * You'll be in my heart * 311 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,695 * No matter what they say * 312 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:19,450 * You'll be here in my heart * 313 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,952 * Always * 314 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:28,501 Turns out this place violated 30 different regulations. 315 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,378 That's their reptile house. 316 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:35,758 Don't worry, all the animals are going to an actual wildlife sanctuary. 317 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,761 Fifty acres of perfect chimpanzee habitat. 318 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,598 You may take our monkeys, but you'll never take our secret monkeys! 319 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,933 Don't listen to my sister. 320 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:47,269 There are no secret monkeys or secret tigers. 321 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,355 Or secret tiger-monkey breeding facility. 322 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,274 Wait, they're brother and sister? 323 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,277 Oh, yeah, they found a circus bear cub in a trash can 324 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,531 and devoted their whole lives to obsessing about animals. 325 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,910 Your hippo dung showered another kid! 326 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:06,622 Oh, sure, when he sprays feces with his tail, he's my hippo. 327 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:16,382 You know, maybe Mr. Goodboy should go to that sanctuary. 328 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:21,220 Yes, it's probably what's best for him. Oh, and I'm sure going to miss him. 329 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:24,181 Kids, I know it's hard, but it's a parent's job 330 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:28,269 to sacrifice anything to keep their kids happy and safe. 331 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:33,858 As you've seen today, your father, as much as he loves his swimsuit area, 332 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:36,068 he loves you more. 333 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:39,029 Aw. Ew. 334 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:42,825 * Ooh, you'll be in my heart * 335 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:46,912 * You'll be here in my heart * 336 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,925 Come on, stupid machine!