﻿1
00:00:02,850 --> 00:00:05,769
- <i>Previously on</i> Young Sheldon...
- LINKLETTER: Hello, Mrs. Cooper.

2
00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:08,539
I just wanted to let you know,
with Dr. Sturgis away,

3
00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:11,139
I'll be available should
Sheldon need anything.

4
00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:14,009
Now, I'm not terribly experienced
around children.

5
00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:15,300
If he needs to use the restroom,

6
00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:18,164
I don't have to go in with him, do I?

7
00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:19,760
I don't need you to babysit me.

8
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,409
I'm perfectly self-reliant.

9
00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:22,820
Then it's good I kept the receipt

10
00:00:22,830 --> 00:00:25,959
for this bottle of bubbles
shaped like a bear.

11
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,215
Welcome to the world of philosophy.

12
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I'm going to teach you

13
00:00:29,675 --> 00:00:32,303
that you don't even know
what you think you know.

14
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Oh, boy.

15
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I'm not going to school.

16
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- Why not?
- Because I don't know what's real.

17
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Nothing matters.

18
00:00:40,895 --> 00:00:42,730
George?!

19
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:48,444
All right,

20
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:49,528
what's the problem here?

21
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I don't know what's real.

22
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That's a fun thing to think
about on the way to school.

23
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,116
Get up and get dressed.

24
00:00:54,117 --> 00:00:55,980
Maybe I'm already dressed.

25
00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:58,328
Maybe I'm wearing a zoot suit and spats.

26
00:00:58,329 --> 00:01:01,666
That's a shoe covering that's
short for "spatterdasher."

27
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:02,889
Or is it?

28
00:01:02,890 --> 00:01:04,199
There's no way to know.

29
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,500
Here's what I know: I don't
have time for this nonsense.

30
00:01:06,510 --> 00:01:07,671
What is time?

31
00:01:07,672 --> 00:01:10,298
What is sense? What is "is"?

32
00:01:10,299 --> 00:01:11,716
Sheldon, I mean it.

33
00:01:11,717 --> 00:01:14,219
I remember when things meant things.

34
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:16,221
All right, I'm gonna
count to three. One...

35
00:01:16,222 --> 00:01:19,049
Believing in numbers...
that takes me back.

36
00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:20,860
- Two...
- To be or not to be.

37
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Shakespeare was onto something.

38
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It's your last chance.

39
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Have you ever wondered
if you're the tongue

40
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of a multidimensional being
trying to taste something

41
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you can never even understand?

42
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I have.

43
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I talked to him.

44
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Where is your mother?

45
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She had to leave for work.

46
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I have to work, too.

47
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You also get to take me to school.

48
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,759
What am I supposed to
do about your brother?

49
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:48,950
Call me old-fashioned,

50
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but I say spank him.

51
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Your mom won't let me.

52
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

53
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

54
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

55
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

56
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<i>♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪</i>

57
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- Synced & corrected by<font color="#E83286"> MementMori </font>-
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.addic7ed.com</font> --

58
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Okay, I'm here.

59
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What's up?

60
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Sheldon won't get out of bed,
and I'm gonna be late for work.

61
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He's gonna be late for school.

62
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So you want me to get
him up <i>and</i> drive him?

63
00:02:20,750 --> 00:02:23,019
- Yeah.
- I like it better

64
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when I just come eat
your food and leave.

65
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Hey, Moon Pie.

66
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:29,754
What's going on here?

67
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That's an excellent question.

68
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Too bad there's no answer.

69
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:34,217
Well, you need to get out of bed.

70
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I don't need to do anything.

71
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Okay, I'm gonna count to three.

72
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Dad already counted to three.

73
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Oh.

74
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Did he try the Texas thing?

75
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- No.
- In that case,

76
00:02:46,170 --> 00:02:48,360
look at you, lyin' there.

77
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When a Texan gets knocked off a horse,

78
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he gets right back on.

79
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That is the second most important thing

80
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about bein' a Texan,

81
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right after thinkin' you're
better than everybody else.

82
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Maybe the horse gets back on the Texan.

83
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Who's to say?

84
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I don't know what that means.

85
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That's because you can't know anything.

86
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If you need to stare at the ceiling

87
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and contemplate the
futility of existence,

88
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Missy's bed is available.

89
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- Amazing.
- What is?

90
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I've been using this same
pen for seven months,

91
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and it's still going.

92
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That's your bar for amazing?

93
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Yeah.

94
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Sad.

95
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It's the same pen.

96
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- (PHONE RINGS)
- It is too early in the morning for you.

97
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Hello.

98
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Yeah. I'll be down in a bit.

99
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Where ya headed?

100
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,287
Principal's office.

101
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:46,669
Ooh, you're in trouble...

102
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You're a child.

103
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(LAUGHS) I'd rather be
a child than in trouble.

104
00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:55,214
Shelly, Dr. Sturgis is
on the line for you.

105
00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:58,499
Maybe he is, maybe he
isn't, but very well.

106
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,579
- Hello?
- Hi, Sheldon.

107
00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:04,290
I hear you're going through
some sort of existential crisis.

108
00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,749
I suppose so.

109
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I just don't know if we can
tell what's real or not.

110
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:09,469
And if nothing's real,

111
00:04:09,470 --> 00:04:12,639
I don't know what to think or
if I'm even thinking at all.

112
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,259
I went through something similar once.

113
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Really? What happened?

114
00:04:17,180 --> 00:04:20,169
I was trekking through the Amazon,

115
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and I saw two frogs,

116
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one hallucinogenic

117
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and the other not.

118
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(CHUCKLES) I tried to
lick the normal one,

119
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and, by mistake,

120
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I licked the hallucinogenic one.

121
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It really rocked my world.

122
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,740
Why would you lick either of them?

123
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I'm not sure. Probably low blood sugar.

124
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But the point is,

125
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,459
I also lost track of reality.

126
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,960
How did you handle it?

127
00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:49,889
I saw a jaguar,

128
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and I realized I didn't care
if it was real or not.

129
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I just hauled my tushy out of there.

130
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I appreciate the call.

131
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I'm giving you back to my meemaw now.

132
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Bye!

133
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(QUIETLY): Hey, John, any luck?

134
00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:10,949
Not unless you have access to a jaguar.

135
00:05:10,950 --> 00:05:12,619
I don't think I do.

136
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:15,659
Really, any jungle cat will do.

137
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:17,289
Hey, Tom.

138
00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:18,539
George.

139
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:19,960
Sheldon's not here anymore.

140
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Thought it'd be a while
before I got called back

141
00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:23,129
- into the principal's office.
- (EXHALES)

142
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How's he doing? I miss that kid.

143
00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:28,019
He took a philosophy class
and won't get out of bed

144
00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:30,180
'cause he doesn't know
what's real anymore.

145
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,029
Anyway, uh, we need
to talk about Georgie.

146
00:05:34,030 --> 00:05:36,149
Should've seen that coming.

147
00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:37,817
- What's wrong?
- Well,

148
00:05:37,818 --> 00:05:39,559
he's been cutting classes.

149
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,863
Already? Semester's barely started.

150
00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:43,479
He's a go-getter.

151
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,190
Mm.

152
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,060
- I'll talk to him.
- Thanks.

153
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,860
How's the team looking this
year, George? (GRUNTS)

154
00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:53,849
We just had one difficult
conversation, Tom.

155
00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:55,449
Let's not have another.

156
00:05:55,450 --> 00:05:56,750
Smart.

157
00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,329
ADULT SHELDON: <i>While my meemaw
wasn't able to acquire a jungle cat,</i>

158
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:04,410
<i>the idea of tormenting a child
did tickle her Texan fancy.</i>

159
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:06,040
(SINGSONGY): Sheldon.

160
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,509
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)

161
00:06:08,510 --> 00:06:12,299
I have someone else
who wants to talk to you.

162
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:14,099
What are you doing
with that filthy thing?

163
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,429
Why do you care?

164
00:06:15,430 --> 00:06:17,299
If nothing is real,

165
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,959
then neither is the chicken.

166
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,060
(CLUCKING)

167
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:23,149
Oh. Good.

168
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,520
We're standing now. That's progress.

169
00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:26,741
Get her out of here.

170
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:30,529
Well, I would, but...
(CHUCKLES) apparently,

171
00:06:30,530 --> 00:06:33,699
I can't know what "here" is.

172
00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,310
So maybe I could just...

173
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,449
set her on your bed.

174
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:38,039
Okay! Okay.

175
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,119
I'll get dressed.

176
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,580
Make it snappy.

177
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:44,209
This still doesn't solve
my existential crisis.

178
00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:45,919
Say what? You want to hold her?

179
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,589
(GASPS) No.

180
00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:49,319
Less talk.

181
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,760
More pants.

182
00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,689
♪ Tiny bubbles... ♪

183
00:06:58,690 --> 00:06:59,959
What's your first class?

184
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,799
Solid-State Physics at 11:30.

185
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,839
We'll make it just in time.

186
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,775
- Although, does...
- And before you say

187
00:07:06,776 --> 00:07:09,549
"Does time even exist?" it does.

188
00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:11,510
So stop wasting mine.

189
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,240
♪ So here's to the golden moon... ♪

190
00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:17,118
What's this philosophy teacher's name?

191
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,159
Professor Ericson. Why?

192
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,209
I might pop in and say hello.

193
00:07:21,210 --> 00:07:22,480
Be careful.

194
00:07:22,490 --> 00:07:25,459
She may make you question
your most deeply held values.

195
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:27,429
I'm a stubborn old crank.

196
00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:29,199
I'll do just fine.

197
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,670
I'm a stubborn young crank,
and it didn't help me.

198
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,134
♪ Make me feel happy... ♪

199
00:07:35,345 --> 00:07:36,638
You wanted to see me?

200
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:39,059
Sit down.

201
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,430
Is this gonna take long?
I need to get to class.

202
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,699
From what I hear, you
don't care about that.

203
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:44,730
Now, sit.

204
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,489
What the hell you doin'?

205
00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:53,779
I cut a class. Who cares?

206
00:07:53,780 --> 00:07:56,279
It was more than one, and I care.

207
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,909
You start flunking out, you're
gonna get kicked off the team.

208
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:00,245
Fine.

209
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,539
Now you don't care about football?

210
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:03,910
Not really.

211
00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:06,468
I don't know what's going on with you,

212
00:08:06,470 --> 00:08:08,336
but you better get your
head out of your ass.

213
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:09,829
Football's a waste of time.

214
00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:11,509
I have a job I could be at.

215
00:08:11,510 --> 00:08:14,217
You made a commitment to the
team and you're gonna honor it.

216
00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:16,199
(EXHALES)

217
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,160
We done?

218
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,516
Just get back to class.

219
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,559
And I better see you at practice.

220
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,315
Well, I don't know if I can find
it with my head up my ass.

221
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,191
LINKLETTER: <i>So,</i>

222
00:08:31,192 --> 00:08:33,219
according to de Broglie,
lambda equals "h"

223
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,696
divided by "m" times what?

224
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,906
- Sheldon.
- Is it velocity?

225
00:08:37,907 --> 00:08:40,659
- Yes. Now...
- Or is it a velociraptor?

226
00:08:40,660 --> 00:08:41,789
I'm sorry?

227
00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:45,669
Perhaps lambda equals "h" divided
by "m" times a velociraptor.

228
00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:48,049
Or a velveteen rabbit.

229
00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:49,249
Ooh, or Velveeta.

230
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:51,000
That's the cheese my
mom puts on broccoli

231
00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:52,680
when she's being fancy.

232
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,459
Is this from your philosophy class

233
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:57,959
or perhaps that <i>Ren &
Stumpy</i> I've heard about?

234
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,310
Philosophy.

235
00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:02,250
Mr. Cooper, do you really believe

236
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:05,229
that de Broglie's equation
contains Velveeta cheese?

237
00:09:05,230 --> 00:09:07,979
I don't know. Maybe <i>he</i> was
just trying to be fancy.

238
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,856
Hello.

239
00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:11,519
Can I help you?

240
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,199
Hi. I'm Connie Tucker.

241
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,020
I'm Sheldon Cooper's grandmother.

242
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,789
Oh. Nice to meet you.

243
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,030
He is a remarkable young man.

244
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,770
Yes, he is. He's also a very
impressionable young man.

245
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,498
Kind of like a lump of
clay with a bow tie.

246
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,918
All I did was teach him
about epistemology.

247
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,589
Whatever it is you're teaching him,

248
00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:34,714
it has made him question everything.

249
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,009
That's the goal.

250
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,359
Lady, I had to threaten
him with a chicken

251
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,178
so he'd put his pants on.

252
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,179
I don't know what's
gotten into that kid.

253
00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:44,682
He's allowed to not
want to play football.

254
00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:47,769
Can you for once in your
life take my side, Wayne?

255
00:09:47,780 --> 00:09:49,938
Not my fault you're never right.

256
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:52,529
So you think it's okay he just quits?

257
00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:54,276
He doesn't get that much playing time.

258
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,904
Well, in my family, we don't quit.

259
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,904
Oh, I don't know. You quit
my book club pretty quick.

260
00:10:00,905 --> 00:10:02,440
I'm talking about football!

261
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,828
Why is it so important
to you that he play?

262
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:06,989
Are you sure you're a coach?

263
00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:11,668
Team sports provides confidence,
leadership, discipline.

264
00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:12,960
So does holding down a job,

265
00:10:12,970 --> 00:10:14,546
which he seems to shine at.

266
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,849
Let's just eat in silence.

267
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,880
Fine.

268
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:25,439
I still think you should have
read <i>The Color Purple.</i>

269
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,850
We were bawling.

270
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,799
Although tasty, a brick of
cheese is not a number.

271
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,179
Why are we still talking about this?

272
00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,840
Maybe we're not talking at all.

273
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:37,068
Okay, that's enough for today.

274
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,904
Not your best lecture.

275
00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:42,799
It's fairly normal for first-time
philosophy students

276
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,659
to have their worldviews shaken.

277
00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:46,327
Do they snap out of it?

278
00:10:46,328 --> 00:10:48,079
Well, you hope.

279
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,170
Professor Ericson, I insist...

280
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:53,793
Hello, Connie. What a pleasant surprise.

281
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,253
Hey.

282
00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:57,797
I'm sorry you're about to see me
speak harshly to my colleague.

283
00:10:57,810 --> 00:10:59,799
- Have at it.
- Professor Ericson,

284
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:01,299
I insist that you speak
to this young man

285
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:03,210
and explain to him that reality is real,

286
00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:05,597
and it's possible to
know things as fact.

287
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,360
The class is called
"Introduction to Philosophy."

288
00:11:08,370 --> 00:11:09,517
That's what I did.

289
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:11,360
Well, un-introduce him.

290
00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:13,879
Yes, he's at this school 'cause
of his brilliant scientific mind,

291
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:14,898
and he spent my last class

292
00:11:14,899 --> 00:11:16,849
talking about processed cheese.

293
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,192
Sheldon, is that true?

294
00:11:18,193 --> 00:11:19,479
Nothing's true.

295
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,940
You see what you've done? You broke him.

296
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:25,570
Hey.

297
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,940
How come you didn't want to
get out of bed this morning?

298
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:33,270
If I can't know what's
real, what's the point?

299
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,840
You have the right words.

300
00:11:35,850 --> 00:11:38,300
You're just saying them wrong.

301
00:11:38,310 --> 00:11:41,070
It's not, "What's the point?"

302
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,169
It's, "What's the point?"

303
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,410
I don't understand.

304
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:48,519
Asking these questions is exciting.

305
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,719
It's what gets me out of bed.

306
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,580
That's interesting.

307
00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:56,059
Richard Feynman did say
the greatest joy in life

308
00:11:56,060 --> 00:11:58,219
is the pleasure of finding things out.

309
00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:00,819
Feynman... he's the physics guy, right?

310
00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:03,446
(QUIETLY): Yes. And your
perfume is beguiling.

311
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:06,729
It's all making sense to me now.

312
00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:08,029
Thank you.

313
00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:09,940
I am happy to help.

314
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:12,110
Dr. Linkletter, I'm dropping your class

315
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,869
and switching my major to philosophy.

316
00:12:13,870 --> 00:12:15,620
Uh, what?

317
00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:22,450
It's funny.

318
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:23,768
This morning, I couldn't get out of bed,

319
00:12:23,770 --> 00:12:26,531
and now I stand before a whole
new exciting field of study.

320
00:12:26,532 --> 00:12:30,329
Well, maybe instead of
making this big switch,

321
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:31,659
you could study both.

322
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:34,740
You could be physics-philosophy guy.

323
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:36,840
You sound like a logical positivist.

324
00:12:36,850 --> 00:12:38,569
That's a branch of philosophy
that maintains

325
00:12:38,570 --> 00:12:40,710
the best way to philosophize
is through science.

326
00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:42,919
Well, there you go. Do that.

327
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,091
It may be too early to specialize.

328
00:12:45,092 --> 00:12:47,509
I've only been a philosopher
for 15 minutes.

329
00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:51,499
Did you notice Dr. Linkletter
didn't look too thrilled

330
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,139
about you leaving science?

331
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,780
He never looks thrilled about anything.

332
00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:57,380
I think that's just his face.

333
00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:58,830
That's the face.

334
00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:03,570
(DOOR OPENS, CHIMES)

335
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,630
Why the hell weren't you at practice?

336
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,859
Can't talk right now. I'm working.

337
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:09,950
Well, you're gonna talk about it.

338
00:13:11,030 --> 00:13:12,709
What do you want from me?

339
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,829
I don't want to play football.
I want to work.

340
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:17,960
You have your whole
life to hold down a job.

341
00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:19,690
Hey, I like my job.

342
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,750
It's not my problem you hate yours.

343
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:29,550
Do whatever you want.

344
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,840
ADULT SHELDON: <i>To figure out
which school of philosophy</i>

345
00:13:32,850 --> 00:13:36,340
<i>suited me best, I decided
to sample each one.</i>

346
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:39,700
<i>The same way I determined
my favorite flavor of oatmeal...</i>

347
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:41,440
<i>plain.</i>

348
00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:44,569
(TV PLAYS QUIETLY)

349
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,109
What are you doing?

350
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:48,169
I'm practicing the
philosophy of cynicism...

351
00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:49,360
the ancient Greek view

352
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,779
that the rules of society
should be ignored.

353
00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:54,409
If you're gonna break rules,
you can do better than that.

354
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:55,989
How?

355
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:57,860
(SHOUTS)

356
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,258
- _
- ADULT SHELDON: <i>Renaissance humanism</i>

357
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:02,579
<i>is finding meaning in the
human form through art.</i>

358
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,450
Can I move?

359
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:06,757
- No.
- But my butt itches.

360
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,300
Scratch it on your own time.

361
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,128
- _
- ADULT SHELDON: <i>Nihilists believe</i>

362
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:14,719
<i>that there's no point to anything,</i>

363
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,470
<i>because it all ends in nothingness.</i>

364
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,110
Mind if I put on MTV?

365
00:14:18,130 --> 00:14:20,479
Doesn't matter.
We're all gonna die anyway.

366
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,600
Deep thought, dingus.

367
00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:24,688
- _
- ADULT SHELDON: <i>Traditionalism is the philosophy</i>

368
00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:27,439
<i>that the best way of life
is a return to the past.</i>

369
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,195
What are you doing?

370
00:14:29,196 --> 00:14:32,907
Making my own butter,
like in olden times.

371
00:14:32,908 --> 00:14:34,159
That's stupid.

372
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,090
ADULT SHELDON: <i>My arms are still sore.</i>

373
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,399
- _
- <i>Altruism is the belief</i>

374
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,918
<i>that we should live only by
bringing happiness to others.</i>

375
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:43,959
These are for you.

376
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,379
Thanks.

377
00:14:45,380 --> 00:14:46,671
What the hell?!

378
00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:48,359
- _
- ADULT SHELDON: <i>Egoism is the belief</i>

379
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,550
<i>that we should live only by
bringing happiness to ourselves.</i>

380
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,930
Mmm. These are pretty good.

381
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:56,049
- _
- ADULT SHELDON: <i>Transcendentalists were philosophers</i>

382
00:14:56,050 --> 00:14:58,100
<i>who believed that our deepest connection</i>

383
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,143
<i>is with nature.</i>

384
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,354
Eh.

385
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,695
I'm beautiful.

386
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,742
GEORGE SR.: And then Georgie
accuses me of hating my job.

387
00:15:15,743 --> 00:15:18,549
Is this where I thought I'd end up? No.

388
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,412
Is this where you thought you'd end up?

389
00:15:20,413 --> 00:15:22,699
I thought I'd be working at
my father's funeral home

390
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,330
sewing people's eyes shut.

391
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,210
My life turned out great.

392
00:15:26,211 --> 00:15:27,879
Well, good for you.

393
00:15:27,890 --> 00:15:29,046
(LAUGHS)

394
00:15:29,047 --> 00:15:31,925
The worst part is,
I think Georgie's right.

395
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:34,802
You're not happy at work?

396
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,639
I can see if my dad's hiring.

397
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,014
How are your sewing skills?

398
00:15:38,015 --> 00:15:40,860
It's not work.

399
00:15:40,870 --> 00:15:42,430
(SIGHS)

400
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,890
Honestly, I don't know
if I'm happy anywhere.

401
00:15:47,770 --> 00:15:49,220
Ugh.

402
00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:50,919
When I asked y'all to hang for a drink,

403
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,237
I didn't know you were
gonna be such a bummer.

404
00:15:53,238 --> 00:15:54,573
(LAUGHS)

405
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,810
Geez Louise.

406
00:15:58,869 --> 00:16:02,664
♪ Amarillo is where I'll be. ♪

407
00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:10,289
(KNOCKING)

408
00:16:10,290 --> 00:16:12,079
- Dr. Linkletter?
- Sheldon.

409
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,530
Good to see you.

410
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,700
Come on in.

411
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:17,329
I don't suppose you're here
to discuss physics, are you?

412
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,549
As a matter of fact, I am.

413
00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:19,749
Excellent.

414
00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:21,080
I'm here to drop your class.

415
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:22,591
I just need you to sign this.

416
00:16:22,592 --> 00:16:25,177
(EXHALES) Have a seat.

417
00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:28,899
Sheldon, I don't know if
you thought this through,

418
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,595
but you're here on a
physics scholarship,

419
00:16:30,596 --> 00:16:33,880
and switching to philosophy
may not be well-received.

420
00:16:33,890 --> 00:16:35,199
Ordinarily, I'd be concerned,

421
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,940
but I'm currently embracing hedonism.

422
00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:39,299
Sheldon, I've been made
responsible for you,

423
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,100
and so far, it's not going very well.

424
00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:42,518
You were admitted to this university

425
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,909
for your scientific acumen.

426
00:16:43,910 --> 00:16:47,240
And changing majors could
have serious repercussions.

427
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,630
Son, please try to understand.

428
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,610
If you abandon physics for philosophy,

429
00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:53,789
(FADING): you're gonna be
missing out on the opportunity

430
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:54,958
to be part of something great.

431
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,360
- Possibly...
- ♪ Tiny bubbles... ♪

432
00:16:56,370 --> 00:16:58,560
ADULT SHELDON:
<i>As Dr. Linkletter prattled on,</i>

433
00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:00,129
<i>I couldn't help but notice</i>

434
00:17:00,130 --> 00:17:02,630
<i>the beauty of that ephemeral bubble.</i>

435
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,800
<i>I wondered if perhaps
we're all just bubbles,</i>

436
00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:08,678
<i>being buffeted through life
on a stream of currents</i>

437
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,555
- <i>beyond our understanding.</i>
- ♪ Tiny bubbles... ♪

438
00:17:10,556 --> 00:17:12,910
<i>Look at it. The local
minimization achieves</i>

439
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:16,140
<i>a global maximization,
and it's nearly perfect.</i>

440
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:17,779
<i>I wondered if this was the key</i>

441
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:20,273
<i>to the smoothness of
matter in the universe.</i>

442
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:24,000
<i>The cosmic web of stars and
galaxies could hold it together</i>

443
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:26,540
<i>like the web of polymers in soap!</i>

444
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,532
<i>This could be a whole
new area of research.</i>

445
00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:32,080
Changing majors would be a huge mistake,

446
00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:36,010
but if this is what you
really want, here you go.

447
00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:40,459
- Sheldon?
- What?

448
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,549
Here you go.

449
00:17:41,550 --> 00:17:43,045
Good luck with philosophy.

450
00:17:43,046 --> 00:17:45,757
Oh, I'm back on science
now. I have work to do.

451
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:50,720
♪ Got a feeling that I'm gonna
love you till the end of time. ♪

452
00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:55,110
- Synced & corrected by<font color="#E83286"> MementMori </font>-
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.addic7ed.com</font> --

