1
00:00:14,161 --> 00:00:18,029
Spencer is too adorable. Totally adorable.
2
00:00:18,098 --> 00:00:19,429
Jill, how old is he now?
3
00:00:19,499 --> 00:00:21,933
-He's 1 4 months.
-So cute.
4
00:00:22,002 --> 00:00:26,405
They grow so fast, it's amazing.
You have them and it's instant.
5
00:00:26,473 --> 00:00:30,273
-lt's instantaneous growth.
-Look at this tiny little broccoli here.
6
00:00:30,344 --> 00:00:32,471
Where's the bottom of the broccoli?
7
00:00:32,546 --> 00:00:35,538
Can somebody tell me what they did
to the bottom of the broccoli?
8
00:00:35,615 --> 00:00:37,310
l like the bottom, it's crunchy.
9
00:00:37,384 --> 00:00:39,750
-Right.
-Really?
10
00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:43,221
You know, look at this broccoli,
there's nothing.
11
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:46,259
They cut the whole thing off,
there's no bottom.
12
00:00:46,827 --> 00:00:50,160
ls there one person at this table
who can eat cauliflower?
13
00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:53,529
What is it?
Who put this on earth, this vegetable?
14
00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:56,397
Larry, Jeremy has something
he wants to ask you.
15
00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:59,337
-He's been wanting to ask.
-lt's really no big deal.
16
00:00:59,406 --> 00:01:02,534
lt's, you know, l'm applying for a fellowship.
17
00:01:02,609 --> 00:01:05,669
You want to switch glasses
with me, is that it?
18
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,347
l like that whole Clark Kent thing
you got happening there.
19
00:01:09,416 --> 00:01:12,180
Thanks. lt works at the galleries, you know.
20
00:01:12,252 --> 00:01:16,689
So l'm applying for a fellowship
at the LA County Museum of Art and....
21
00:01:16,757 --> 00:01:18,725
Yeah, l'm real excited.
22
00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:21,420
But I need a letter of recommendation...
23
00:01:21,495 --> 00:01:25,454
and I would absolutely
be indebted to you forever...
24
00:01:25,532 --> 00:01:27,466
if you could do it for me.
25
00:01:28,568 --> 00:01:31,834
-l would appreciate it so much.
-l love the indebted part, believe me.
26
00:01:31,905 --> 00:01:33,395
Don't get me wrong.
27
00:01:33,473 --> 00:01:37,341
You know, I don't really
know that much about art.
28
00:01:37,411 --> 00:01:40,676
But you know about Jeremy.
That's the point, right?
29
00:01:40,747 --> 00:01:42,044
And his work, right?
30
00:01:42,115 --> 00:01:45,517
-Just that he'd be an asset to the county.
-Absolutely.
31
00:01:45,585 --> 00:01:46,984
That seems easy enough.
32
00:01:47,053 --> 00:01:48,782
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
33
00:01:50,123 --> 00:01:52,717
-Sure, okay.
-That'd be great.
34
00:01:52,793 --> 00:01:56,490
-Thank you very much for it. Okay.
-Here's to Larry.
35
00:01:57,964 --> 00:02:00,762
And to the fellowship
that's gonna be, all right?
36
00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:03,098
-Yes, absolutely.
-And to the Lakers.
37
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:08,107
-The Lakers' season starting up tomorrow.
-That's right.
38
00:02:08,175 --> 00:02:11,838
You're not a Lakers fan are you?
You're a Knicks fan.
39
00:02:11,912 --> 00:02:13,937
-l'm a Knicks fan, yeah.
-Table for one.
40
00:02:14,014 --> 00:02:15,606
But l'm going tomorrow night.
41
00:02:15,682 --> 00:02:18,845
My manager has season tickets
right next to the Laker bench.
42
00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,184
-He's got the most unbelievable seats.
-Pretty amazing.
43
00:02:22,255 --> 00:02:26,089
-That's pretty amazing.
-But you're a Knick fan.
44
00:02:26,159 --> 00:02:29,094
l'll root for the other team.
l can't stand the Lakers, really.
45
00:02:29,162 --> 00:02:31,426
-No.
-No, I can't stand them.
46
00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:33,398
l get so much satisfaction out of seeing...
47
00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:35,935
19,000 people disappointed
when they lose, I just....
48
00:02:36,002 --> 00:02:38,300
Right, when they lose, which is very seldom.
49
00:02:38,371 --> 00:02:43,241
Very seldom. I mean, they have Shaq.
Best player that ever lived. End of story.
50
00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:47,872
-l'll be right back.
-l am a sucker for cilantro, l'll tell you.
51
00:02:47,948 --> 00:02:51,679
l had I just need to seize this moment
while Bob's in the bathroom.
52
00:02:51,751 --> 00:02:55,152
But, Jeremy and Larry,
for Bob's 40th birthday...
53
00:02:55,222 --> 00:02:57,247
what I want to do is to give him...
54
00:02:57,324 --> 00:03:00,157
one of those books
where each person does a page.
55
00:03:00,227 --> 00:03:02,787
-You know what I mean?
-What do you mean, a page?
56
00:03:02,863 --> 00:03:06,424
lt could be anything you want.
Like, if you would draw something.
57
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:10,659
You could do an art piece,
and you could write a recollection of Bob...
58
00:03:10,737 --> 00:03:13,137
or a poem, or something you can share.
59
00:03:13,206 --> 00:03:16,471
Make it funny, would be great,
if you could make it funny.
60
00:03:17,077 --> 00:03:20,274
-Great, I would love to do that.
-Thank you, he would love that.
61
00:03:20,347 --> 00:03:23,475
-That'd be an honor.
-Larry, would you like to do that?
62
00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:26,383
-A page?
-That would be nice.
63
00:03:26,453 --> 00:03:29,047
l mean, I have a limited amount of time.
64
00:03:29,122 --> 00:03:31,716
l've got his letter to write.
65
00:03:31,791 --> 00:03:34,988
You know, Bob's thing
doesn't have to be a big thing.
66
00:03:35,562 --> 00:03:38,429
-You could do that, honey.
-Yeah.
67
00:03:38,498 --> 00:03:40,659
Really? Good, thank you.
68
00:03:41,101 --> 00:03:45,265
Thank you, that'll be great.
Bob's birthday is on Saturday.
69
00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:48,501
So, if I could pick it up around Wednesday.
70
00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:52,311
Does anybody want to split
cheesecake or something?
71
00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:55,906
-l'd love dessert.
-Actually, we cannot stay for dessert.
72
00:03:55,982 --> 00:03:57,040
What?
73
00:03:57,117 --> 00:04:00,678
My parents came into town,
and I hate to leave them by themselves.
74
00:04:01,388 --> 00:04:04,221
-Where are you guys going?
-We're on our way back.
75
00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:07,954
-My parents are in town.
-Let's see, you want some....
76
00:04:08,695 --> 00:04:11,562
You want some money for this dinner?
77
00:04:11,665 --> 00:04:13,496
You want some money for the dinner?
78
00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:15,330
-Yeah.
-Sure.
79
00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:18,200
l don't know, how much was this?
80
00:04:18,271 --> 00:04:22,173
$60, or what, I don't know, $80?
What did you have?
81
00:04:22,242 --> 00:04:24,005
l mean, we just had some turkey.
82
00:04:24,077 --> 00:04:27,137
What did we have,
turkey and a glass of wine?
83
00:04:27,213 --> 00:04:29,807
l don't even know
what to put down here. I mean, l'm....
84
00:04:29,883 --> 00:04:32,977
$90, how's that, is that good? ls $90 good?
85
00:04:38,458 --> 00:04:39,755
$1 10?
86
00:04:40,594 --> 00:04:42,186
$1 15, what'd you have?
87
00:04:42,262 --> 00:04:45,857
Chicken and turkey
and a glass... I got $1 15, is that cool?
88
00:04:45,932 --> 00:04:48,423
-All right, bye, you guys.
-Bye, Cheryl.
89
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:51,735
Thanks for coming out.
90
00:04:51,805 --> 00:04:56,105
-Larry, aren't you gonna say goodbye?
-Yeah, of course l'm gonna say goodbye.
91
00:04:56,876 --> 00:05:00,004
-All right, bye you guys.
-l was gonna say goodbye.
92
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,049
-Drive safe, okay?
-l left $1 15.
93
00:05:04,484 --> 00:05:07,282
l go out to dinner, I wind up
with a homework assignment.
94
00:05:07,354 --> 00:05:10,551
What was all that goodbye business?
That was really embarrassing.
95
00:05:10,624 --> 00:05:12,819
l wanted to remind you to say goodbye.
96
00:05:12,892 --> 00:05:15,656
l was gonna say goodbye, l'm not a moron.
l know how to--
97
00:05:15,729 --> 00:05:16,855
-Sometimes you don't.
-What?
98
00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:18,955
Sometimes you forget
to say goodbye to people.
99
00:05:19,032 --> 00:05:22,024
l forget to say goodbye?
Never in my life have I forgotten.
100
00:05:22,102 --> 00:05:25,503
Yes, you have. Then people think
that you're doing it intentionally.
101
00:05:25,572 --> 00:05:29,702
That's ridiculous.
You know how much I paid for that dinner?
102
00:05:29,776 --> 00:05:32,745
l just kept putting money down.
Why didn't they stop me?
103
00:05:32,812 --> 00:05:36,145
-Why did you keep putting money down?
-Because they didn't stop me.
104
00:05:36,216 --> 00:05:38,878
-Thank you.
-You didn't have to put in that much.
105
00:05:38,952 --> 00:05:41,682
l kept saying, ''ls that enough?'' $80, $90.
106
00:05:41,755 --> 00:05:46,317
l hope my parents found something to eat.
l didn't even think about that.
107
00:05:46,393 --> 00:05:50,420
-How long are they staying for, anyway?
-They're staying till next week...
108
00:05:50,497 --> 00:05:53,364
when we go to Monterey
for Becky's wedding.
109
00:05:54,501 --> 00:05:57,402
-lt doesn't work because that--
-Okay, all right!
110
00:05:57,470 --> 00:06:00,405
-l think they mean normally.
-Okay, but then I want Arabia.
111
00:06:00,473 --> 00:06:01,735
We already settled that.
112
00:06:01,808 --> 00:06:03,867
-lt's not a country.
-lt is a country.
113
00:06:03,943 --> 00:06:06,173
-Hi, guys.
-Hi.
114
00:06:06,246 --> 00:06:10,012
-ls Arabia a country?
-Arabia? No, it's Saudi Arabia.
115
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:12,551
You don't know what the hell
you're talking about...
116
00:06:12,619 --> 00:06:14,951
''Mr. Expert in somebody else's field.''
117
00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:16,852
What are you guys playing, Scattergories?
118
00:06:16,923 --> 00:06:18,447
-Yeah.
-Can I play?
119
00:06:18,525 --> 00:06:20,993
Hope you don't mind, we raided your games.
120
00:06:21,061 --> 00:06:23,791
-No, I don't care.
-No, we haven't played this--
121
00:06:23,863 --> 00:06:25,125
And your liquor.
122
00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:28,461
You wanna play a quick round
of Scattergories?
123
00:06:28,535 --> 00:06:32,164
-No, l'm gonna go up.
-Yeah, thank you, Captain Geography.
124
00:06:32,572 --> 00:06:35,473
Larry, don't you say goodnight?
125
00:06:36,643 --> 00:06:38,440
Goodnight, sorry.
126
00:06:38,511 --> 00:06:39,773
Goodnight.
127
00:06:39,846 --> 00:06:41,040
Okay, ''J,'' five, go!
128
00:06:45,585 --> 00:06:47,678
Ohio State, that's a college with an ''O.''
129
00:06:47,754 --> 00:06:51,053
For heaven's sake.
Give me time, I want to do it, too.
130
00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:59,490
-Gosh!
-Occidental!
131
00:06:59,566 --> 00:07:00,897
Occidental.
132
00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:03,265
Honey, please don't yell
at my parents like that.
133
00:07:03,336 --> 00:07:05,964
-l wasn't yelling, I was helping.
-Angel.
134
00:07:06,039 --> 00:07:09,167
-They're not real, though.
-So what? They're in the sky.
135
00:07:12,112 --> 00:07:14,012
So what do you know about this page?
136
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:18,312
Do you know anything about these pages?
Do you paste it on something?
137
00:07:19,452 --> 00:07:22,046
What do you know?
She's very vague about the whole thing.
138
00:07:22,122 --> 00:07:24,590
What are you supposed to write on it?
She wants a poem?
139
00:07:24,657 --> 00:07:28,286
''Something funny,'' she said.
ls it lined paper?
140
00:07:28,928 --> 00:07:31,192
Maybe l'll make little
fancy edges on the end.
141
00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:34,995
Don't they have, like, special scissors
to make those fancy edges on the end?
142
00:07:35,068 --> 00:07:37,798
Are you going to be using
your light much longer?
143
00:07:38,104 --> 00:07:40,470
l've been working on my letter, too...
144
00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:44,704
to the county museum,
my letter of recommendation.
145
00:07:44,778 --> 00:07:46,746
Would you like to hear it?
146
00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:48,906
''Dear LA County Museum.
147
00:07:50,350 --> 00:07:54,252
''This is a letter of recommendation
for a guy named...
148
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,120
''a guy name Jeremy,
who's somewhat of an acquaintance.
149
00:07:58,191 --> 00:08:00,591
''And he draws beautiful concentric circles...
150
00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:03,220
''and geometric figures
that are quite moving.''
151
00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:06,060
By the way, I could make those
triangles and those circles.
152
00:08:06,132 --> 00:08:09,533
You know, is that art?
l mean, if I could do it, is that art?
153
00:08:11,271 --> 00:08:13,569
-Goodnight.
-Goodnight.
154
00:08:17,177 --> 00:08:18,974
''Dear County Board.
155
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:22,848
''l'm writing on behalf of Jeremy....''
156
00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:24,474
Okay.
157
00:08:25,051 --> 00:08:27,519
''l'll find out his last name
and write back to you.''
158
00:08:27,587 --> 00:08:28,645
Okay.
159
00:08:31,257 --> 00:08:33,487
So, have you ever done one of these pages?
160
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:36,028
No. lt's stupid.
161
00:08:36,462 --> 00:08:37,895
Who are you going to dinner with?
162
00:08:37,964 --> 00:08:41,297
-What situation did you put yourself in?
-lt's all our friends.
163
00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:44,336
Listen, I can't go to the Laker game tonight.
164
00:08:44,404 --> 00:08:47,965
-Really?
-Yeah, Susie's gotta go to New York...
165
00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:50,373
'cause her mom's sick,
and I gotta watch the kid.
166
00:08:50,443 --> 00:08:53,742
My gosh, so what are you gonna do?
Who's getting the ticket?
167
00:08:53,813 --> 00:08:55,804
Why don't you give it to Lewis?
168
00:08:55,949 --> 00:08:57,712
-Sure.
-Go with him.
169
00:08:57,784 --> 00:09:00,150
-Jeffy, how are you?
-Al, how are you doing?
170
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:01,517
Good to see you, how are you?
171
00:09:01,588 --> 00:09:04,182
Good, Albert Mayo, Larry David,
Larry David, Albert Mayo.
172
00:09:04,257 --> 00:09:05,451
Nice to meet you.
173
00:09:05,525 --> 00:09:07,652
-Shaq's agent.
-No kidding?
174
00:09:07,727 --> 00:09:09,092
l'm going to the game tonight.
175
00:09:09,162 --> 00:09:10,595
-Are you really?
-l got his seats.
176
00:09:10,663 --> 00:09:13,826
You're going to love....
You're the Seinfeld guy, right?
177
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,365
-Yeah.
-Shaq loves your show.
178
00:09:16,436 --> 00:09:18,870
-Really?
-Yeah, loves it.
179
00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:22,567
l gotta run, I gotta get to the Center.
Enjoy the game, have a good time.
180
00:09:22,642 --> 00:09:24,872
-lt was great to meet you.
-Did you play anything?
181
00:09:24,944 --> 00:09:27,913
-Yeah, I won $300 off Doc Wiggins.
-Beautiful, see you later.
182
00:09:27,981 --> 00:09:29,972
-Bye-bye.
-l'll see you tonight.
183
00:09:30,049 --> 00:09:33,177
-Let's go.
-Just one favor.
184
00:09:33,253 --> 00:09:35,551
Just look at this thing on my back.
185
00:09:35,622 --> 00:09:38,785
-What is that?
-What do you think that is?
186
00:09:38,858 --> 00:09:42,259
l don't know what that is.
You know, you ought to go to a doctor.
187
00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:44,296
-Really?
-Yeah.
188
00:09:44,364 --> 00:09:46,161
You know that guy right over there?
189
00:09:46,232 --> 00:09:48,564
That's Dr. Wiggins,
that's who he was talking about.
190
00:09:48,635 --> 00:09:52,537
-He's the Lakers' doctor, go ask him.
-But he's an orthopedic, right?
191
00:09:52,605 --> 00:09:55,130
They gotta know all the stuff.
He can look at it and go:
192
00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:56,675
''That's something or nothing.''
193
00:09:56,743 --> 00:09:59,337
lf he tells you it's nothing
to worry about, you're fine.
194
00:09:59,412 --> 00:10:02,404
-l'm gonna go hit some balls.
-l'll see you at the range.
195
00:10:05,985 --> 00:10:07,850
Dr. Wiggins?
196
00:10:07,921 --> 00:10:09,684
-How you doing?
-Good.
197
00:10:11,524 --> 00:10:13,321
l'm sorry to bother you with this.
198
00:10:13,393 --> 00:10:16,487
l got a little thing on my back,
and I was hoping...
199
00:10:16,562 --> 00:10:19,292
you could save me
a visit to a dermatologist.
200
00:10:19,365 --> 00:10:21,856
l'm sorry, l'm running a little late.
201
00:10:21,935 --> 00:10:24,699
lt'll only take a second, take quick look at it.
202
00:10:24,771 --> 00:10:27,331
l'm sure it's nothing,
and you could just tell me if--
203
00:10:27,407 --> 00:10:30,035
You can make an appointment
and just come to the office.
204
00:10:30,109 --> 00:10:33,567
-l'll be happy to look at it there.
-l mean, it would just take a second.
205
00:10:33,646 --> 00:10:35,807
Just say is it something or nothing,
or, you know.
206
00:10:35,882 --> 00:10:39,579
-lt's like looking at your watch, really.
-What do you do for a living?
207
00:10:39,652 --> 00:10:42,587
-l'm a writer.
-Next time you're in a big hurry...
208
00:10:42,655 --> 00:10:45,590
why don't you write me
a bunch of shit for free?
209
00:10:55,601 --> 00:10:58,661
All he had to do was take a look at it.
Would it have killed him?
210
00:10:58,738 --> 00:11:00,103
-The doctor?
-Yeah, the doctor.
211
00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:01,800
-What's the big deal?
-Come on, man.
212
00:11:01,874 --> 00:11:02,966
He's in the locker room.
213
00:11:03,042 --> 00:11:05,806
All he's gotta do is take one quick look,
take five seconds.
214
00:11:05,878 --> 00:11:07,106
How you doing?
215
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:09,580
Man, I mean,
the guy's trying to relax like you.
216
00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:11,241
You gotta give the guy space.
217
00:11:11,317 --> 00:11:13,945
-Look at this.
-How are you doing today?
218
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:16,318
-Good.
-Let me show you to your seats.
219
00:11:16,389 --> 00:11:19,358
-This'll be his and this'll be yours.
-These two, right here?
220
00:11:19,425 --> 00:11:21,154
Come on, enjoy the game.
221
00:11:21,661 --> 00:11:25,119
-My God.
-Look at this, how great is this?
222
00:11:25,198 --> 00:11:29,294
-Holy cow.
-Great, right? How great is this?
223
00:11:29,369 --> 00:11:32,566
-ls this fucking unbelievable?
-This is unbelievable.
224
00:11:32,638 --> 00:11:36,369
This is, you know, we have a great manager.
What can I tell you?
225
00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:40,469
Ladies and gentlemen,
your Los Angeles Lakers.
226
00:11:40,546 --> 00:11:42,946
You've got the best seat
in the house, you know that?
227
00:11:43,016 --> 00:11:45,951
You do.
The bench is right over here, look at this.
228
00:11:46,019 --> 00:11:48,249
You know, I can hear
everything Jackson's saying?
229
00:11:48,321 --> 00:11:50,186
l'll tell you what he said.
230
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,800
Shaquille O'Neal.
231
00:12:09,342 --> 00:12:11,606
Anthony Peeler, two shots.
232
00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:14,578
What's he doing?
Why doesn't he put Shaq back in the game?
233
00:12:14,647 --> 00:12:16,774
-lt's ridiculous.
-Who, Coach Jackson?
234
00:12:16,849 --> 00:12:20,410
Yeah, l'll ask him, with his eight rings,
that Larry David's upset.
235
00:12:20,486 --> 00:12:23,216
He's been out of the game for five minutes.
236
00:12:23,289 --> 00:12:26,122
Maybe he's upset.
Maybe, you know, he's tired.
237
00:12:30,296 --> 00:12:32,958
My God.
238
00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:35,460
ldiot, what did you do?
239
00:12:35,535 --> 00:12:38,936
-God, l'm so....
-What did you do?
240
00:12:39,005 --> 00:12:43,101
-Are you okay? l'm so sorry.
-Here, give us some room here, stand back.
241
00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:45,576
Take it easy. Where is it?
242
00:12:45,645 --> 00:12:47,840
-My knee.
-Your knee?
243
00:12:47,914 --> 00:12:49,745
-My knee.
-Okay, easy.
244
00:12:49,816 --> 00:12:51,044
Look at this shit.
245
00:12:51,117 --> 00:12:53,551
lt's not an assassination attempt,
for Christ's sake.
246
00:12:53,619 --> 00:12:55,951
-Can you straighten it, Shaq?
-No.
247
00:12:56,022 --> 00:12:58,820
-Can you put any weight on it?
-Larry, how did that happen?
248
00:12:58,891 --> 00:13:01,359
l don't know, I stuck my legs out.
l'm so sorry.
249
00:13:01,427 --> 00:13:04,328
Let's get him up,
l'll hold the leg, get him up. Get him up.
250
00:13:04,397 --> 00:13:08,595
-l'm so sorry.
-Can you put any weight on it?
251
00:13:08,668 --> 00:13:09,862
No.
252
00:13:11,804 --> 00:13:14,796
lt was an accident.
253
00:13:18,244 --> 00:13:20,838
-Just sit down.
-lt was an accident!
254
00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:24,240
This is a nightmare.
255
00:13:24,317 --> 00:13:26,615
l think we should get going.
l'm very uncomfortable.
256
00:13:26,686 --> 00:13:29,814
-l'm fucking out of here.
-Let's get out of here, come on.
257
00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:32,418
Just go.
258
00:13:32,492 --> 00:13:35,757
Go. Get out of here, go ahead, hurry up.
259
00:13:35,828 --> 00:13:37,591
lt was an accident.
260
00:13:39,565 --> 00:13:41,965
-Take a hike.
-lt was an accident.
261
00:13:46,305 --> 00:13:49,866
Yeah, no, believe me, Julie, I saw it.
l saw him on the news.
262
00:13:49,942 --> 00:13:52,308
l saw the whole thing, and he just walked in.
263
00:13:52,378 --> 00:13:55,609
l can't talk right now.
l'll talk to you later. Okay.
264
00:13:55,681 --> 00:13:58,845
-My God!
-What news? You saw me on the news?
265
00:13:58,918 --> 00:14:00,749
-Yeah, of course I did.
-Me?
266
00:14:00,820 --> 00:14:04,449
They said you tripped Shaquille O'Neal,
now he'll be out for two months.
267
00:14:04,524 --> 00:14:06,617
You mean I tripped him?
They said Larry David?
268
00:14:06,692 --> 00:14:09,388
They have a close-up of you.
They have it in slow motion.
269
00:14:09,462 --> 00:14:11,726
They have,
''Larry David took out Shaquille O'Neal.''
270
00:14:11,797 --> 00:14:13,628
For two months he's gonna be out.
271
00:14:14,066 --> 00:14:15,624
And the phone will not stop ringing.
272
00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:17,692
Could you please take this
to the next room...
273
00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:19,260
so that we can just watch our show?
274
00:14:19,338 --> 00:14:20,862
Look, can we call you back tomorrow?
275
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:23,306
-lt's just so hectic.
-Two months?
276
00:14:23,376 --> 00:14:24,604
He's gonna be out two months?
277
00:14:24,677 --> 00:14:26,736
Yeah, two months. And not only that...
278
00:14:26,812 --> 00:14:28,370
one of the reporters thinks that...
279
00:14:28,447 --> 00:14:30,745
you had a motive,
because you're a Knicks fan.
280
00:14:30,816 --> 00:14:34,377
Yeah, I did have a motive.
l wanted to kill him, I had a motive.
281
00:14:34,453 --> 00:14:39,083
Can you take it outside, please?
How about a little consideration, okay?
282
00:14:39,692 --> 00:14:41,182
-Sorry.
-Oh, my God.
283
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:43,728
My parents are trying to watch their show.
284
00:14:46,399 --> 00:14:48,367
Don't you say goodnight?
285
00:14:57,343 --> 00:14:58,833
Asshole!
286
00:14:59,045 --> 00:15:01,809
Yeah, you, it's all your fault!
287
00:15:02,148 --> 00:15:05,174
Yeah, asshole!
288
00:15:08,087 --> 00:15:10,317
What the fuck?
289
00:15:10,656 --> 00:15:11,953
lt was an accident.
290
00:15:12,024 --> 00:15:14,549
l was just stretching my legs out
and he tripped.
291
00:15:14,627 --> 00:15:17,960
They took away my tickets.
The Lakers took away my tickets.
292
00:15:18,364 --> 00:15:20,093
-Yeah.
-They can't do that.
293
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:22,327
Sure they can, it's on the back of the ticket.
294
00:15:22,401 --> 00:15:25,302
l'm responsible for whoever sits in my seat.
295
00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:29,566
What were you stretching for?
What reason? You're in the first row.
296
00:15:29,642 --> 00:15:32,270
-How could you need to stretch?
-l stuck my legs out.
297
00:15:32,345 --> 00:15:35,280
Holy shit, you know
how hard I worked for those?
298
00:15:35,982 --> 00:15:39,543
One game, the first game,
and you fuck the whole thing up!
299
00:15:40,686 --> 00:15:41,880
Sorry.
300
00:15:43,856 --> 00:15:45,517
Have a great day.
301
00:15:46,359 --> 00:15:48,156
-Fuck!
-l'm sorry.
302
00:15:48,995 --> 00:15:52,158
-What can I do? Can I do anything?
-Buy the team.
303
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:54,896
That would be a help.
304
00:16:05,144 --> 00:16:07,510
-Hey, Chuck.
-Larry, how are you doing?
305
00:16:07,847 --> 00:16:10,975
-Okay.
-What happened at the game last night?
306
00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:13,109
l mean, Shaq is coming off the bench...
307
00:16:13,185 --> 00:16:16,086
you got your legs stretched out,
l mean, the guy just trips.
308
00:16:16,155 --> 00:16:18,988
-lt was an accident.
-l know, you got to be careful.
309
00:16:19,058 --> 00:16:21,720
You're sitting there,
you know, you see a player coming...
310
00:16:21,794 --> 00:16:23,694
it's a big mountain of a guy.
311
00:16:23,763 --> 00:16:26,664
-You got to be able to see him.
-l know, I know.
312
00:16:26,732 --> 00:16:28,927
lt was a stupid thing, it was an accident.
313
00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:33,062
Yeah, I know. But, I mean, without Shaq,
we can't win this, you know?
314
00:16:36,809 --> 00:16:40,142
How much more clear can I be?
No comment.
315
00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:42,338
All right, thank you.
316
00:16:46,252 --> 00:16:48,413
You've got a boatload of messages...
317
00:16:48,487 --> 00:16:51,854
and when the phone wasn't ringing,
faxes were coming in.
318
00:16:51,924 --> 00:16:55,291
l want to try to get in touch
with Shaquille O'Neal, okay?
319
00:16:55,361 --> 00:16:58,262
So find out where he is.
He might be in a hospital.
320
00:16:58,331 --> 00:17:00,026
l don't know. But....
321
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:02,862
Forget it, don't even answer it.
322
00:17:02,935 --> 00:17:07,269
l also heard that he's a big Seinfeld fan.
l want to get Seinfeld tapes, if you can.
323
00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:09,774
All the Seinfeld shows, every one.
324
00:17:10,209 --> 00:17:12,200
And I don't know....
325
00:17:12,278 --> 00:17:15,338
Have you ever done
a page in a birthday book?
326
00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:28,551
Yeah, all the magazine shows are calling.
They're gonna do a spread.
327
00:17:28,627 --> 00:17:31,221
-l'm going home.
-No goodbye?
328
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,708
Jesus!
329
00:17:50,649 --> 00:17:51,877
Oh, man.
330
00:18:05,297 --> 00:18:07,891
Don't leave that in the middle.
l gotta put this in here.
331
00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:10,435
Put it wherever you want to put it.
lt's fine with me.
332
00:18:11,103 --> 00:18:13,435
-What's going on?
-We're leaving.
333
00:18:13,806 --> 00:18:15,774
-You're what?
-We're leaving.
334
00:18:15,841 --> 00:18:19,209
-lt's a little too busy around here for us.
-Too much commotion for us.
335
00:18:19,278 --> 00:18:21,906
-Really, you're going?
-We'll leave you with your chaos.
336
00:18:21,981 --> 00:18:23,312
Holy mackerel.
337
00:18:23,382 --> 00:18:26,476
Mom, I wish you guys
wouldn't leave so soon. I mean....
338
00:18:27,052 --> 00:18:28,917
-lt's time, honey.
-Goodbye.
339
00:18:28,988 --> 00:18:31,354
Dad, don't you want to stay
a little bit longer?
340
00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:34,926
All right, I mean, if you reconsider,
you can come back.
341
00:18:34,994 --> 00:18:38,691
-Good luck with your telephone.
-That's sad, it's sad.
342
00:18:42,201 --> 00:18:44,066
Don't you say goodbye?
343
00:18:49,141 --> 00:18:52,474
-They were in a hurry.
-lt's a little rude, you know?
344
00:18:53,813 --> 00:18:55,280
Wow! Boy.
345
00:18:56,449 --> 00:18:58,974
-Too much turmoil for them, huh?
-Yeah.
346
00:18:59,752 --> 00:19:03,518
Larry! l'm so glad I caught you at home.
347
00:19:03,589 --> 00:19:04,886
l'm so glad.
348
00:19:04,957 --> 00:19:09,189
l don't know if you got started on that page
for Bob's birthday book.
349
00:19:09,728 --> 00:19:12,856
You know why? 'Cause l'm not gonna do it.
350
00:19:12,932 --> 00:19:15,799
l just decided it was too overwhelming...
351
00:19:15,868 --> 00:19:17,859
and I thought, get him some cologne.
352
00:19:17,937 --> 00:19:20,428
l've been giving this thing
some thought, you know?
353
00:19:20,506 --> 00:19:24,204
-l'm sorry, I feel--
-l was gonna do a basketball with....
354
00:19:24,276 --> 00:19:27,336
l was going to forge
some of the Lakers' signatures on it....
355
00:19:27,413 --> 00:19:28,573
Really? Well--
356
00:19:28,647 --> 00:19:30,911
Yeah, and then I was gonna write
a couple of...
357
00:19:30,983 --> 00:19:33,816
my memories from the two times
we had dinner together....
358
00:19:33,886 --> 00:19:36,787
l feel so bad. I can see that you're upset.
359
00:19:36,856 --> 00:19:40,553
l had a beautiful rainbow with
''l love you, Bob,'' and....
360
00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:42,617
Really, that's wonderful.
361
00:19:42,695 --> 00:19:47,098
And l'm sure there's some kind of thing
you can develop with it at some point.
362
00:19:47,166 --> 00:19:49,361
How did the other
acquaintances take it, okay?
363
00:19:49,435 --> 00:19:51,426
-You know, they were fine.
-Yeah? Good.
364
00:19:51,504 --> 00:19:54,496
They were just fine with it,
you know? Thanks.
365
00:19:59,378 --> 00:20:02,176
-ls that Jill?
-Yeah, she...
366
00:20:03,249 --> 00:20:06,776
canceled the page in the birthday book.
367
00:20:08,888 --> 00:20:13,086
Nobody wants to have, apparently,
anything to do with me...
368
00:20:13,158 --> 00:20:15,285
because of Shaquille O'Neal.
369
00:20:16,128 --> 00:20:19,996
-That's kind of sad.
-Sad? What are you, crazy?
370
00:20:20,266 --> 00:20:22,700
l'm gonna go to Starbucks
and get some coffee.
371
00:20:22,768 --> 00:20:26,602
-Starbucks? Wait, l'll go with you.
-No, I just want to get out of the house.
372
00:20:26,672 --> 00:20:28,230
No.
373
00:20:29,775 --> 00:20:33,040
Adora, if anybody wants me,
l'm going to Starbucks!
374
00:20:37,483 --> 00:20:39,144
l'll take a mocha.
375
00:20:39,885 --> 00:20:42,445
And l'll have a vanilla....
376
00:20:43,289 --> 00:20:45,280
One of the vanilla bullshit things.
377
00:20:45,357 --> 00:20:47,882
You know, do whatever you want.
378
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:52,021
Some vanilla bullshit, latte cappa-thing.
Whatever you got, I don't care.
379
00:20:52,097 --> 00:20:53,359
You got it.
380
00:20:53,866 --> 00:20:55,857
What? What's the problem?
381
00:20:56,802 --> 00:20:59,464
-l don't really like this....
-What?
382
00:20:59,538 --> 00:21:01,802
-This new Larry.
-What's the matter?
383
00:21:01,874 --> 00:21:06,208
Just too enthusiastic,
and I miss the old Larry.
384
00:21:06,278 --> 00:21:09,179
-Do you?
-Yeah. There's Jeremy.
385
00:21:09,248 --> 00:21:13,344
Larry, l'm glad I caught up to you.
Housekeeper said you'd be down here.
386
00:21:13,419 --> 00:21:15,512
l want to talk to you real quick.
387
00:21:16,388 --> 00:21:18,481
-Let me take a guess.
-All right.
388
00:21:18,557 --> 00:21:21,082
-All right, can I take a guess?
-Yeah, sure.
389
00:21:21,894 --> 00:21:24,795
You don't want me to write
the letter of recommendation.
390
00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:27,157
-Wow! Yeah.
-Holy, what a--
391
00:21:27,232 --> 00:21:30,599
-That's a load off my mind, l'll tell you.
-lt's a shame, though.
392
00:21:30,669 --> 00:21:33,763
'Cause I wrote some really laudatory things
about your work...
393
00:21:33,839 --> 00:21:36,467
with the geometric shapes...
394
00:21:36,542 --> 00:21:39,033
the triangles and the trapezoids
and all of that.
395
00:21:39,111 --> 00:21:40,908
There's a little more to it than that--
396
00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:43,608
l don't know,
but they're very compelling figures...
397
00:21:43,682 --> 00:21:46,947
-the triangle and the square and....
-Thank you.
398
00:21:47,019 --> 00:21:50,182
You take care of yourself.
Maybe some other time.
399
00:21:50,389 --> 00:21:53,017
l'm available for any kind of favor
that you need.
400
00:21:53,092 --> 00:21:55,322
Okay, thanks a lot, bye-bye, now.
401
00:21:57,062 --> 00:21:59,929
Coffee on me! Ladies and gentlemen...
402
00:21:59,999 --> 00:22:03,093
free coffee and donuts
and Danish and bagels.
403
00:22:03,168 --> 00:22:06,604
Anything you want.
On me, I got it, everybody, come on.
404
00:22:06,672 --> 00:22:10,199
Come on up, get some coffee.
That's right, go ahead, enjoy yourself.
405
00:22:10,275 --> 00:22:14,541
Thataway, that's it, don't be shy.
Thank you very much, thank you.
406
00:22:14,613 --> 00:22:17,138
Come on, people, everything on me.
407
00:22:18,083 --> 00:22:22,782
This is very good, by the way, thank you.
lt's a cafe latte? What is that, milk?
408
00:22:22,855 --> 00:22:25,221
-Milk and coffee?
-Milk and coffee, yeah.
409
00:22:25,290 --> 00:22:27,053
Milk and coffee, who would've thought?
410
00:22:27,126 --> 00:22:29,219
-Milk and coffee.
-We can go now if you want.
411
00:22:29,294 --> 00:22:32,127
-My God, what a drink!
-l want to take off.
412
00:22:32,197 --> 00:22:34,893
-lt's milk and coffee mixed together.
-Let's do that.
413
00:22:34,967 --> 00:22:38,835
We've gotta go there,
sit down, have a donut, have a bagel.
414
00:22:39,972 --> 00:22:42,873
-ls Shaquille O'Neal on this floor?
-Down the hall.
415
00:22:42,941 --> 00:22:45,000
Thank you very much, thank you.
416
00:22:45,611 --> 00:22:48,580
Paging Dr. Bender. Paging Dr. Bender.
417
00:22:48,647 --> 00:22:51,172
Excuse me, are you a doctor?
418
00:22:51,383 --> 00:22:54,841
-Yes, l'm a doctor.
-Could you do me a favor?
419
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,117
Would you mind taking a quick glance
at this thing on my back?
420
00:22:58,190 --> 00:23:01,387
Tell me if it's anything
that I should be concerned about.
421
00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:03,894
-Sure, turn around.
-Right over here.
422
00:23:03,962 --> 00:23:07,523
-Do you see that over....
-This is a solar keratosis.
423
00:23:07,599 --> 00:23:10,033
-What is that?
-lt's benign, it's from the sun.
424
00:23:10,102 --> 00:23:12,366
-Really?
-l wouldn't worry about it. lt's nothing.
425
00:23:12,438 --> 00:23:14,201
-My God, thank you.
-Sure.
426
00:23:14,273 --> 00:23:16,468
That was so nice of you to do that.
427
00:23:16,709 --> 00:23:18,370
More doctors should be like you.
428
00:23:18,444 --> 00:23:21,004
-Stay out of the sun.
-Okay, thanks, Doc.
429
00:23:24,883 --> 00:23:26,214
Excuse me.
430
00:23:27,653 --> 00:23:32,056
l've got these tapes l'd like to give
to Shaquille O'Neal. ls that possible?
431
00:23:32,124 --> 00:23:34,718
Just leave them there.
We'll make sure he gets them.
432
00:23:34,793 --> 00:23:37,523
-Really? Thank you very much.
-Hey, Larry.
433
00:23:38,097 --> 00:23:40,088
-Hey, Albert.
-What are you doing here?
434
00:23:40,165 --> 00:23:43,328
l just was gonna give these
Seinfeld tapes to Shaq.
435
00:23:43,535 --> 00:23:45,298
That's really nice of you.
436
00:23:45,370 --> 00:23:47,600
Nice of you to come down here to apologize.
437
00:23:47,673 --> 00:23:52,110
-That's very.... He'll appreciate it.
-l was actually just coming to drop them off.
438
00:23:52,177 --> 00:23:54,702
-l wouldn't dare even....
-l'm going in there now.
439
00:23:54,780 --> 00:23:57,010
l'll take you in there with me, come on.
440
00:23:57,082 --> 00:23:58,572
-Really?
-Yeah.
441
00:24:00,953 --> 00:24:04,320
-What, you think he's gonna hurt you?
-Yeah, I do.
442
00:24:04,389 --> 00:24:06,254
l'm sure he'd appreciate an apology.
443
00:24:06,325 --> 00:24:08,054
-lt was an accident.
-l'll apologize.
444
00:24:08,127 --> 00:24:09,924
What can you do? Things happen.
445
00:24:09,995 --> 00:24:12,828
That's a great present.
He'll be on his back for two months.
446
00:24:12,898 --> 00:24:16,061
-You think he'll like it?
-He loves it, it's his favorite show.
447
00:24:16,135 --> 00:24:18,535
-Great.
-So how things been going?
448
00:24:18,704 --> 00:24:20,968
-Never been better.
-Good.
449
00:24:22,007 --> 00:24:25,204
-What do you got, big guy?
-Peanut butter.
450
00:24:27,546 --> 00:24:30,811
Dairy product, peanut butter.
What you mean, no?
451
00:24:30,883 --> 00:24:33,613
-Peanut butter is not a dairy product.
-lt's not dairy.
452
00:24:33,685 --> 00:24:37,314
The whole world knows
peanut butter is a dairy product.
453
00:24:37,389 --> 00:24:39,414
-What are you saying?
-Dairy is from a cow.
454
00:24:39,491 --> 00:24:42,426
-Peanuts are not a dairy product.
-Peanut butter, moo.
455
00:24:42,494 --> 00:24:44,894
Okay, peanuts come from
the ground or something.
456
00:24:44,963 --> 00:24:47,932
-Albert, how you doing?
-Look who I found wandering the halls.
457
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,061
Larry David, Shaquille O'Neal.
He's got something he wants to say to you.
458
00:24:52,404 --> 00:24:54,929
l'm so sorry...
459
00:24:55,707 --> 00:25:00,041
about the incident, and I don't know
how that could've happened.
460
00:25:00,112 --> 00:25:03,138
l was stretching.
l never sat there before. l'm sorry.
461
00:25:03,215 --> 00:25:04,807
ls that supposed to help? ''Sorry''?
462
00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:07,181
l don't know what to do
to make it up to you.
463
00:25:07,252 --> 00:25:10,847
l brought you these Seinfeld tapes.
Albert told me you were a big fan.
464
00:25:10,923 --> 00:25:14,859
-l am.
-l got you all the tapes of every episode.
465
00:25:15,194 --> 00:25:17,526
You have every tape of every show?
466
00:25:17,596 --> 00:25:20,292
-Listen....
-Scattergories.
467
00:25:20,399 --> 00:25:22,924
Dairy products. Peanut butter...
468
00:25:23,735 --> 00:25:27,034
would be considered a dairy product,
am I correct?
469
00:25:27,105 --> 00:25:29,369
-Absolutely, butter.
-Thank you.
470
00:25:29,441 --> 00:25:32,171
-A man that has some sense.
-No.
471
00:25:32,411 --> 00:25:35,938
Okay, listen, l've got
''Pendant, Porsche, Popeye...
472
00:25:37,015 --> 00:25:39,006
''Pago Pago, and Provolone.''
473
00:25:39,084 --> 00:25:42,815
-Doc's killing us.
-l'm gonna go to the can, l'll be right back.
474
00:25:42,888 --> 00:25:47,014
-Told you he was smart. What's the score?
-All right, now he has 26.
475
00:25:47,049 --> 00:25:48,484
-And what do I have?
-You have 25.
476
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,892
-And what do you got?
-l have 25.
477
00:25:51,129 --> 00:25:53,461
By the way, didn't the doctor...
478
00:25:53,532 --> 00:25:56,592
mention five items for ''P''?
479
00:25:56,668 --> 00:25:57,726
Yeah.
480
00:25:57,803 --> 00:26:00,636
There's no ''Pago Pago''
and ''provolone'' on this list...
481
00:26:00,706 --> 00:26:02,936
if you just want to check it out.
482
00:26:03,175 --> 00:26:06,872
-Oh, my God.
-The doc is cheating at Scattergories?
483
00:26:06,945 --> 00:26:10,312
He was obviously making it up
after the time ran out.
484
00:26:10,382 --> 00:26:14,750
-Why would you cheat at Scattergories?
-A doctor.
485
00:26:16,121 --> 00:26:18,146
-You want to play another game?
-Doc.
486
00:26:19,324 --> 00:26:22,816
-How can you cheat at Scattergories?
-What are you talking about?
487
00:26:22,895 --> 00:26:26,456
What do you mean? You gave us five names.
There's only three here.
488
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,026
Listen, Doc, you know what?
l'm sick and tired of you.
489
00:26:31,103 --> 00:26:33,594
-You're fired, get out.
-l didn't cheat at anything.
490
00:26:33,672 --> 00:26:35,640
Get this guy out of here, you're fired.
491
00:26:35,707 --> 00:26:37,004
-l won, Shaq.
-Get out.
492
00:26:37,075 --> 00:26:39,873
-Al, come on.
-l told you to get out.
493
00:26:39,945 --> 00:26:42,880
-Get his ass out of here.
-The timer ran out.
494
00:26:43,282 --> 00:26:46,809
-The timer didn't run out, you cheated.
-lt's the timer.
495
00:26:46,885 --> 00:26:50,048
-No, it's not the timer, get out.
-l was gonna write it down.
496
00:26:50,122 --> 00:26:52,989
-Get your ass out of here, get out.
-You heard him. Get out!
497
00:26:53,058 --> 00:26:54,423
You gotta go.
498
00:26:56,762 --> 00:26:58,627
Don't you say goodbye?
499
00:26:59,831 --> 00:27:02,197
Notice how no one ever
says goodbye anymore?
500
00:27:02,267 --> 00:27:04,599
-Have you noticed that? lt's unbelievable.
-Yeah.
501
00:27:04,670 --> 00:27:07,195
Why can't people leave a room
and be a little polite?
502
00:27:07,272 --> 00:27:10,730
Okay, my favorite Seinfeld episode
was The Contest.
503
00:27:10,809 --> 00:27:13,107
The Contest?
l got it, you want The Contest?
504
00:27:13,178 --> 00:27:16,113
lf you pop in The Contest,
l'll let bygones be bygones...
505
00:27:16,181 --> 00:27:18,411
and I forgot that you tripped me.
506
00:27:18,650 --> 00:27:20,515
Peanut butter is a dairy product.
507
00:27:20,585 --> 00:27:22,246
-Shaq?
-Yes?
508
00:27:22,955 --> 00:27:26,618
Kind of an odd thing. I had a chance
to go back and look at your file...
509
00:27:26,692 --> 00:27:31,356
and I don't know how this happened,
but it seems Dr. Wiggins misread the MRl.
510
00:27:31,430 --> 00:27:35,423
His initial diagnosis of the complete tear
of the quadriceps tendon...
511
00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:37,263
it's a partial tear at best.
512
00:27:37,336 --> 00:27:40,499
lf you sit down for maybe a week,
you'll be back to full strength.
513
00:27:40,572 --> 00:27:43,405
-That's great!
-One week? I can't believe it!
514
00:27:44,676 --> 00:27:46,337
I was alone.
515
00:28:14,673 --> 00:28:17,005
Excuse me, l'm sorry.
516
00:28:17,576 --> 00:28:20,511
-Could you give me a ride?
-The doctor.
517
00:28:20,879 --> 00:28:22,870
-Yes, from upstairs.
-Yeah.
518
00:28:22,948 --> 00:28:27,112
-Yes, how's your back?
-Okay, Barry, come on, let's go.
519
00:28:29,321 --> 00:28:31,551
-What....
-Stay out of the sun.
520
00:28:32,457 --> 00:28:36,018
-He's not a doctor?
-Sixth floor, Psychiatric.