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<font color="#FF0000"><b>awaqeded</b></font> for <font color="#FF0000"><b>www.addic7ed.com.</b></font>

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♪ Here I am, hiding out now in a hole ♪

3
00:00:19,748 --> 00:00:22,649
♪ Barely eating, barely sleeping,
this shit's taking its toll ♪

4
00:00:22,650 --> 00:00:24,918
♪ Fuck writing, I got
bigger fish to fry now ♪

5
00:00:24,919 --> 00:00:27,153
♪ I know I'll die now, I need a plan ♪

6
00:00:27,154 --> 00:00:28,349
♪ I do not like this man ♪

7
00:00:28,350 --> 00:00:30,624
♪ Tarnishing the
scripture, how he mocks me ♪

8
00:00:30,625 --> 00:00:33,460
♪ All this blasphemy and
vanity, carnality exhausts me ♪

9
00:00:33,461 --> 00:00:35,895
♪ It'll cost me my respect in Iran ♪

10
00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:38,598
♪ And so it's time for him to
die, I do not like this man ♪

11
00:00:38,599 --> 00:00:41,568
♪ Come on, don't be
silly, it was just a book ♪

12
00:00:41,569 --> 00:00:44,336
♪ Don't look weak now,
can't let him off the hook ♪

13
00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:47,006
♪ What a coward, God knows that ♪

14
00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,976
♪ I do not like this man ♪

15
00:00:49,977 --> 00:00:51,778
♪ What am I gonna do? ♪

16
00:00:51,779 --> 00:00:54,613
♪ His death sentence is the
worst friggin' book review ♪

17
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:56,849
♪ His book's like a
sickness, it won't quit ya ♪

18
00:00:56,850 --> 00:01:00,386
♪ Talkin' trash about the
scripture, not a pretty picture ♪

19
00:01:00,387 --> 00:01:02,655
♪ All I wanted was to win
the Booker Prize, guys ♪

20
00:01:02,656 --> 00:01:05,824
♪ Not have him slit my throat
and gouge out my eyes, my, my ♪

21
00:01:05,825 --> 00:01:07,693
♪ I can't allow this desecration ♪

22
00:01:07,694 --> 00:01:09,428
♪ This irritation, indignation ♪

23
00:01:09,429 --> 00:01:11,530
- ♪ Not while I lead this nation ♪
- ♪ Whoo ♪

24
00:01:11,531 --> 00:01:13,532
- ♪ It's official ♪
- ♪ Don't try to call our bluff ♪

25
00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:16,201
- ♪ Deference, as if ♪
- ♪ Writing's not hard enough ♪

26
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,870
♪ Heathen, tyrant, traitor, violent ♪

27
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:23,374
♪ God knows that I
do not like this man ♪

28
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,243
♪ Haven't you caught him yet? ♪

29
00:01:25,244 --> 00:01:28,713
♪ Stop asking me already, I'm trying ♪

30
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,581
♪ Please just express regret ♪

31
00:01:30,582 --> 00:01:33,918
♪ Oh, yeah, like I haven't
thought of that, come on ♪

32
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:37,054
- ♪ Just go cut off his head ♪
- ♪ Ah ♪

33
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,523
♪ Just hide under the bed ♪

34
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♪ I do not like this ♪

35
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♪ He doesn't like this ♪

36
00:01:44,162 --> 00:01:46,631
♪ I cannot like this ♪

37
00:01:46,632 --> 00:01:49,366
♪ He'll never like this ♪

38
00:01:49,367 --> 00:01:53,403
♪ I do not like this man ♪

39
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,372
♪ Enemies forever! ♪

40
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- Whoa! Whoa!
- Terrific! Terrific! Thank you.

41
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,677
What a wonderful day of rehearsal, gang.

42
00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:02,046
Thanks so much. That was great.

43
00:02:02,047 --> 00:02:03,613
I like these men.

44
00:02:03,614 --> 00:02:05,549
- Really great job.
- Fantastic.

45
00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:07,584
- My best work.
- Wow.

46
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:10,587
How about Susan Stroman? I mean... huh?

47
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:11,655
She's the best.

48
00:02:11,656 --> 00:02:13,390
11:30 call tomorrow.

49
00:02:13,391 --> 00:02:15,892
We're gonna start with the new
choreography for "Fatwa Sex."

50
00:02:15,893 --> 00:02:18,895
- I gotta talk to Lin.
- All right.

51
00:02:18,896 --> 00:02:21,832
Quick question for you. Cody wants
to know which poster you like more.

52
00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:25,468
- Um... I think this one.
- Cool.

53
00:02:25,469 --> 00:02:27,436
- Murray.
- Hey.

54
00:02:27,437 --> 00:02:29,772
- That was unbelievable!
- Oh, thanks.

55
00:02:29,773 --> 00:02:31,407
- So great.
- Felt good.

56
00:02:31,408 --> 00:02:33,376
- Loved it.
- Thanks.

57
00:02:33,377 --> 00:02:35,811
I got one little, tiny note for you.

58
00:02:35,812 --> 00:02:38,181
- Yeah?
- It's a small, small note.

59
00:02:38,182 --> 00:02:41,884
I noticed that you're
denunciating with your fist.

60
00:02:41,885 --> 00:02:46,422
And the ayatollah,
actually, he denunciates

61
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with his... with his index finger.

62
00:02:48,358 --> 00:02:50,659
- He kind of uses it like a... like a sledgehammer.
- Yeah?

63
00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:52,227
- That feels good.
- You like that?

64
00:02:52,228 --> 00:02:53,763
- I think it's terrific.
- Yeah.

65
00:02:53,764 --> 00:02:55,264
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

66
00:02:55,265 --> 00:02:57,399
Yeah. And...

67
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,202
- I really like your shoes.
- Really?

68
00:03:00,203 --> 00:03:02,237
- Yeah.
- Thank you!

69
00:03:02,238 --> 00:03:04,873
Can we go over the choreo for
"Fatwa Sex" before we go onstage?

70
00:03:04,874 --> 00:03:06,541
Yeah, why don't you come in at 10:45?

71
00:03:06,542 --> 00:03:08,410
We'll have the dance captain come.

72
00:03:08,411 --> 00:03:09,811
- Ach!
- Are you happy?

73
00:03:09,812 --> 00:03:11,513
- Am I happy?
- Aren't they incredible?

74
00:03:11,514 --> 00:03:13,882
- It's crazy! This is insane!
- It's gonna be amazing.

75
00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:15,450
I can't believe how excited I am!

76
00:03:15,451 --> 00:03:17,118
I've only been excited twice in my life.

77
00:03:17,119 --> 00:03:19,053
Unsnapping my first bra.

78
00:03:19,054 --> 00:03:20,855
And this! This is like my second bra!

79
00:03:20,856 --> 00:03:22,256
Oh, well, fantastic.

80
00:03:22,257 --> 00:03:24,392
If this guy ever asks
you to go in the weeds,

81
00:03:24,393 --> 00:03:25,627
get in the weeds!

82
00:03:25,628 --> 00:03:27,562
- Is that fishing?
- No, no, no.

83
00:03:27,563 --> 00:03:30,331
- That's work. That's work, yeah.
- Yeah. It's the work.

84
00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:32,133
- As I was watching it...
- Yeah?

85
00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:34,568
...I'm thinking that old opening

86
00:03:34,569 --> 00:03:36,570
would work great now.

87
00:03:36,571 --> 00:03:38,272
- What?
- ♪ There's a fatwa, there's a fatwa ♪

88
00:03:38,273 --> 00:03:39,440
♪ Gotta run, I think I oughta... ♪

89
00:03:39,441 --> 00:03:40,641
Oh, I totally blocked that out.

90
00:03:40,642 --> 00:03:42,143
You know, just sitting there,

91
00:03:42,144 --> 00:03:44,711
you can just feel how
well that could work.

92
00:03:44,712 --> 00:03:45,879
You know what we do?

93
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,615
Cast album bonus track
just for the fans.

94
00:03:48,616 --> 00:03:51,418
Give them the bonus now.
Why have a bonus then?

95
00:03:51,419 --> 00:03:54,321
It's not a bonus if it's already here.

96
00:03:54,322 --> 00:03:56,289
Cody, what'd you think of that?

97
00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:58,459
My toe started tapping. I mean...

98
00:03:58,460 --> 00:03:59,960
- Yeah.
- ♪ Gonna get shot-a. ♪

99
00:03:59,961 --> 00:04:02,162
- It's catchy.
- Yeah. It's catchy!

100
00:04:02,163 --> 00:04:03,330
But I think this opening number

101
00:04:03,331 --> 00:04:05,398
sets up the thing you love so much.

102
00:04:05,399 --> 00:04:06,833
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

103
00:04:06,834 --> 00:04:09,102
I gotta go to wardrobe and
get changed. Walk with me?

104
00:04:09,103 --> 00:04:10,687
Yeah. I wanna talk to
you about something.

105
00:04:10,688 --> 00:04:11,571
Great. Thanks, Cody.

106
00:04:11,572 --> 00:04:13,440
But honestly, you
should reconsider this.

107
00:04:13,441 --> 00:04:14,975
Look, watch. Just watch this.

108
00:04:14,976 --> 00:04:17,110
One second. I'm running,
okay? You're running.

109
00:04:17,111 --> 00:04:19,311
♪ There's a fatwa, there's a
fatwa, gotta run, I think I oughta ♪

110
00:04:19,312 --> 00:04:21,013
♪ Gotta hide, I think I've gotta ♪

111
00:04:21,014 --> 00:04:22,882
♪ Gonna get scared, gonna
get shot-a, want my mama... ♪

112
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And everybody's yelling
from the windows.

113
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That's your talk show bit.

114
00:04:25,586 --> 00:04:27,419
You do that on "Late Night" and say,

115
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"This is what turned into the amazing
musical number we actually did."

116
00:04:30,123 --> 00:04:31,290
It's gonna be great.

117
00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:32,892
Hey, Cody, what'd you think of that?

118
00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:35,427
I... I would attend a workshop of it.

119
00:04:35,428 --> 00:04:37,296
- It's a workshop.
- Hey.

120
00:04:37,297 --> 00:04:40,366
- So, first preview's in a week.
- Yeah.

121
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,368
I'm thinking it would be a good idea

122
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,036
to do something for the cast and crew.

123
00:04:44,037 --> 00:04:46,638
Something fun, you know.
Maybe like paintball?

124
00:04:46,639 --> 00:04:48,007
Well, that's a great idea!

125
00:04:48,008 --> 00:04:49,475
- Yeah?
- Yeah, absolutely.

126
00:04:49,476 --> 00:04:51,442
"Lion King" used to
do that all the time.

127
00:04:51,443 --> 00:04:53,011
- Oh, terrific!
- Yeah, it might be fun.

128
00:04:53,012 --> 00:04:54,212
Great, we'll do it this weekend.

129
00:04:54,213 --> 00:04:55,847
You know, I'll pay for it.

130
00:04:55,848 --> 00:04:57,649
Great, I'll spread
the word with the cast.

131
00:04:57,650 --> 00:04:59,252
- Hi, Greg.
- Hi.

132
00:04:59,253 --> 00:05:03,263
So, I think this is not the tweed
that we really want. I just...

133
00:05:03,264 --> 00:05:05,659
What is it about it
that's not working for you?

134
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:08,294
It's not quite professorial
enough. Do you agree?

135
00:05:08,295 --> 00:05:10,429
- I... I like it.
- You like it?

136
00:05:10,430 --> 00:05:12,798
- Yeah, I think it looks good.
- I'd like to see options, then.

137
00:05:12,799 --> 00:05:14,267
- Okay.
- Yeah.

138
00:05:14,268 --> 00:05:15,869
These are all the vests I pulled.

139
00:05:15,870 --> 00:05:17,370
Oh, I wanted to ask you,

140
00:05:17,371 --> 00:05:19,772
my cousin Valentina and her husband,

141
00:05:19,773 --> 00:05:21,241
their Airbnb fell through.

142
00:05:21,242 --> 00:05:23,276
They're coming in to
see the first preview.

143
00:05:23,277 --> 00:05:25,711
I was wondering if they
could maybe stay with you.

144
00:05:25,712 --> 00:05:28,614
Hmm... no hotel?

145
00:05:28,615 --> 00:05:30,949
They're... they're a
really interesting couple.

146
00:05:30,950 --> 00:05:32,852
Hotels are not their thing.

147
00:05:32,853 --> 00:05:35,254
But aren't you renting a house?

148
00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:36,689
Yeah, but me and V
only have one bedroom.

149
00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:37,857
There's really not room,

150
00:05:37,858 --> 00:05:39,324
and you've got that great big house.

151
00:05:39,325 --> 00:05:41,359
Is that okay? Is that... it's cool?

152
00:05:42,461 --> 00:05:44,062
Yeah, sure. What the hell.

153
00:05:44,063 --> 00:05:45,630
All right. Thank you.

154
00:05:45,631 --> 00:05:47,799
Wonder if there's anything else

155
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,968
we need to do before tomorrow.

156
00:05:49,969 --> 00:05:52,170
- Something wrong?
- I...

157
00:05:52,171 --> 00:05:54,406
I just did you a very nice favor.

158
00:05:54,407 --> 00:05:55,807
- Yeah.
- Uh...

159
00:05:55,808 --> 00:05:58,276
and that "thank you" was...

160
00:05:58,277 --> 00:05:59,831
it was like I passed you the ketchup.

161
00:05:59,832 --> 00:06:00,744
Yeah, no, no.

162
00:06:00,745 --> 00:06:02,747
It was not commensurate
with the gesture.

163
00:06:02,748 --> 00:06:04,982
Oh, I... I appreciate it.

164
00:06:04,983 --> 00:06:06,418
Thank you.

165
00:06:06,419 --> 00:06:08,319
Um, what else do you have?

166
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,221
You've seen the choices.

167
00:06:10,222 --> 00:06:12,189
- Um...
- All right, I'm... I'm...

168
00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:13,991
- I'm gonna head back. I'll see you later.
- Okay. Thanks.

169
00:06:13,992 --> 00:06:16,394
- Thanks again.
- Yeah.

170
00:06:16,395 --> 00:06:19,163
- What do we think?
- Yeah, it's a little boxy.

171
00:06:19,164 --> 00:06:21,999
Where's Funkhouser? Where is he?

172
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,302
- He's always late, this guy.
- I know. So rude.

173
00:06:24,303 --> 00:06:27,704
I say next time, we tell
him a half hour earlier.

174
00:06:27,705 --> 00:06:29,440
- You know what, let's just sit down.
- All right.

175
00:06:29,441 --> 00:06:30,941
We'll have some appetizers,
maybe even order dinner.

176
00:06:30,942 --> 00:06:33,744
- Who cares? Yeah.
- Who cares?

177
00:06:33,745 --> 00:06:35,245
- Hi. Um...
- Hi.

178
00:06:35,246 --> 00:06:37,314
David. Reservation.

179
00:06:37,315 --> 00:06:39,516
Ah! Yes. Party of four.

180
00:06:39,517 --> 00:06:41,084
Are you all here?

181
00:06:41,085 --> 00:06:42,252
No, we have three.

182
00:06:42,253 --> 00:06:43,854
Well, I'm sorry.

183
00:06:43,855 --> 00:06:46,389
We can't seat you until
your entire party arrives.

184
00:06:46,390 --> 00:06:48,591
- Why?
- It's our policy.

185
00:06:48,592 --> 00:06:50,226
We don't seat incomplete parties.

186
00:06:50,227 --> 00:06:52,262
What's the point of the
policy? We have three people.

187
00:06:52,263 --> 00:06:54,297
It's the same table.
What's the difference?

188
00:06:54,298 --> 00:06:56,933
The chef really likes
everyone to sit together

189
00:06:56,934 --> 00:06:59,535
so they can order together and he
can deliver the food at the same time.

190
00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:01,095
Oh, the chef likes
everyone to sit together.

191
00:07:01,096 --> 00:07:02,488
- Yes.
- Isn't that nice?

192
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,040
It makes for the optimal
dining experience.

193
00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:07,276
Okay, you know what the
optimal dining experience is?

194
00:07:07,277 --> 00:07:09,278
To eat when you're hungry, okay?

195
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,681
- I understand.
- That's the optimal dining experience.

196
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,115
I'm sorry. That's our policy.

197
00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:14,750
We do not sit incomplete parties.

198
00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:17,086
- Yeah.
- No, this is bullshit.

199
00:07:17,087 --> 00:07:19,588
- I know.
- Guess we'll wait.

200
00:07:19,589 --> 00:07:22,024
Hey, I got that paintball thing secured.

201
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,425
Oh, good for you. That'll be fun.

202
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:25,327
- They're gonna love it.
- What? What is it?

203
00:07:25,328 --> 00:07:28,263
I'm taking the cast and crew
to do, like, a paintball day.

204
00:07:28,264 --> 00:07:30,399
- You know paintball?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fun.

205
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,567
- They shoot paint instead of bullets.
- It's a good bonding.

206
00:07:32,568 --> 00:07:34,636
Yeah, we're gonna do it on Saturday.

207
00:07:34,637 --> 00:07:37,138
- Sat... wait. This Saturday?
- Yeah.

208
00:07:37,139 --> 00:07:39,841
It's Sammi's wedding this Saturday.

209
00:07:39,842 --> 00:07:41,209
I thought it was the week after.

210
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,078
Oh, God, I sent you the save-the-date,

211
00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:45,814
I sent you the invitation,

212
00:07:45,815 --> 00:07:47,582
you never fucking wrote it down?!

213
00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:50,585
- You sent me too many things!
- Don't make it my fault now!

214
00:07:50,586 --> 00:07:52,920
You know what, I'll work
it out. I can do both.

215
00:07:52,921 --> 00:07:54,889
You're making a speech.
You promised Sammi.

216
00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:57,325
All right, I'll work it
out. I'll work it out.

217
00:07:57,326 --> 00:07:58,893
I'm sorry. I'm just a little cranky...

218
00:07:58,894 --> 00:08:00,528
- I'm hungry.
- Me, too.

219
00:08:00,529 --> 00:08:02,096
No, but I'm hungry.

220
00:08:02,097 --> 00:08:04,932
- Yeah, I hear you.
- Yeah. Shall we leave?

221
00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:07,068
We don't have a reservation.
You can't get in anywhere.

222
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,403
It's crazy. You know how I get.

223
00:08:09,404 --> 00:08:11,525
The blood sugar, up
and down, up and down.

224
00:08:11,526 --> 00:08:12,806
I know how you get.

225
00:08:12,807 --> 00:08:15,876
Okay, I'm gonna take care of this.

226
00:08:15,877 --> 00:08:17,845
- Stay right here.
- All right.

227
00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:19,548
The food here is great and you know it.

228
00:08:19,549 --> 00:08:20,648
I do.

229
00:08:20,649 --> 00:08:22,449
- Hello.
- Hello.

230
00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:24,451
Are you alone by any chance?

231
00:08:24,452 --> 00:08:26,819
- Perhaps.
- Please do not misconstrue this.

232
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:29,722
This is not a pickup in
any way, shape, or form.

233
00:08:29,723 --> 00:08:32,092
- Okay.
- I don't pick up; I put down.

234
00:08:32,093 --> 00:08:35,995
- Okay.
- Now, the situation is thus:

235
00:08:35,996 --> 00:08:38,531
this restaurant has an idiotic policy...

236
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,367
Okay, let's go.

237
00:08:42,402 --> 00:08:43,536
We have four.

238
00:08:43,537 --> 00:08:46,105
- Four?
- Yes, four.

239
00:08:46,106 --> 00:08:47,373
Okay.

240
00:08:47,374 --> 00:08:49,641
Table six, please.

241
00:08:55,849 --> 00:08:59,285
- Thanks for joining.
- Of course. I'm hap... happy to be here.

242
00:08:59,286 --> 00:09:02,621
- So what do you do?
- I'm an actress.

243
00:09:02,622 --> 00:09:04,523
- Oh.
- You know, I just figured at 36,

244
00:09:04,524 --> 00:09:06,292
if there's any
profession that you can do

245
00:09:06,293 --> 00:09:08,994
later in life as a woman, it's acting.

246
00:09:08,995 --> 00:09:10,662
Have we seen you in anything?

247
00:09:10,663 --> 00:09:13,632
No, but I'm doing some
plus-size modeling.

248
00:09:13,633 --> 00:09:15,834
- Really?
- And then I do stand-in work.

249
00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:17,569
Okay, she stands in for the star.

250
00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:19,037
- For the camera.
- For the camera.

251
00:09:19,038 --> 00:09:20,606
Right, yeah, I understand.

252
00:09:20,607 --> 00:09:21,974
I'm sorry.

253
00:09:21,975 --> 00:09:23,775
You were the guy with the, uh...

254
00:09:23,776 --> 00:09:25,243
you have the fatwa on you, right?

255
00:09:25,244 --> 00:09:26,845
Yeah, that's-a-me.

256
00:09:26,846 --> 00:09:29,314
What are you doing out?
Aren't you kind of scared?

257
00:09:29,315 --> 00:09:30,882
They called it off.

258
00:09:30,883 --> 00:09:32,984
- So it's over.
- Yeah, but I was out anyway.

259
00:09:32,985 --> 00:09:35,520
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he did. He was brave.

260
00:09:35,521 --> 00:09:36,953
Can I give you a business card?

261
00:09:36,954 --> 00:09:39,109
Sorry, 'cause I'm just
realizing now you're that writer.

262
00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:40,533
Yeah.

263
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,260
I've never done comedy, but
it doesn't seem that hard.

264
00:09:42,261 --> 00:09:44,028
- Hmm.
- Here you go.

265
00:09:44,029 --> 00:09:47,064
- Ah. Marie Deschamps?
- Mmm.

266
00:09:47,065 --> 00:09:50,101
- What are you, French?
- No, it's actually my stage name.

267
00:09:50,102 --> 00:09:51,836
Johnson's my real last name.

268
00:09:51,837 --> 00:09:54,438
- Is Marie your real first name?
- No. Jenny.

269
00:09:54,439 --> 00:09:57,441
All right, well, I'll put
your card in my pocket.

270
00:09:57,442 --> 00:09:59,810
I will never call you, but
I'll put it in my pocket.

271
00:09:59,811 --> 00:10:02,680
And I'm very glad that
that fatwa got cleared up.

272
00:10:02,681 --> 00:10:04,648
- Thank you.
- Does it ever occur to you

273
00:10:04,649 --> 00:10:08,685
that maybe this fatwa thing
is not as over as you think?

274
00:10:08,686 --> 00:10:10,154
You know how the Japanese soldiers,

275
00:10:10,155 --> 00:10:11,955
they'd find them on, like, an island,

276
00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:14,625
and they wouldn't know the
war's been over for a long time?

277
00:10:14,626 --> 00:10:16,426
Maybe someone is so off the grid

278
00:10:16,427 --> 00:10:18,762
that they have no idea the fatwa's over.

279
00:10:18,763 --> 00:10:20,330
Maybe someone is so stupid

280
00:10:20,331 --> 00:10:22,999
that they say things
they shouldn't be saying.

281
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,135
- Maybe.
- Hello!

282
00:10:25,136 --> 00:10:27,303
- Hey, look who's here.
- Hello. Marie.

283
00:10:27,304 --> 00:10:29,338
Oh, is this a replacement for Bridget?

284
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:30,874
I recruited her from the bar.

285
00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:32,475
- She's a stand-in for you.
- Oh, great.

286
00:10:32,476 --> 00:10:34,544
We gotta get you a
chair. Where's the waiter?

287
00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:36,112
Yeah. You know what?

288
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,547
You need to go now.

289
00:10:37,548 --> 00:10:38,981
- What?
- Yeah.

290
00:10:38,982 --> 00:10:41,417
You stood in. Now it's time to stand up.

291
00:10:41,418 --> 00:10:45,354
But, hey, very good
job. Good stand-in job.

292
00:10:45,355 --> 00:10:47,323
- Really?
- But first team has arrived, so...

293
00:10:47,324 --> 00:10:49,725
And listen, Larry, if
you ever need an actor,

294
00:10:49,726 --> 00:10:51,294
you call me, okay?

295
00:10:51,295 --> 00:10:52,562
You never know.

296
00:10:52,563 --> 00:10:53,796
Okay, I'm expecting the call.

297
00:10:53,797 --> 00:10:55,764
Okay... well, I wouldn't go that far.

298
00:10:55,765 --> 00:10:58,500
- Well, hello there.
- That was interesting.

299
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,135
- Yeah.
- Hi.

300
00:11:00,136 --> 00:11:03,471
You know, it's customary when
someone is 20 minutes late

301
00:11:03,472 --> 00:11:06,108
to offer an apology to their friends.

302
00:11:06,109 --> 00:11:08,043
- Am I right?
- That's absolutely correct.

303
00:11:08,044 --> 00:11:10,045
- That's accurate?
- Yes.

304
00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:11,313
Sorry.

305
00:11:11,314 --> 00:11:13,981
What? That's a "sorry"?

306
00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:15,783
Don't insult us with that.

307
00:11:15,784 --> 00:11:17,352
If you're more than ten minutes late,

308
00:11:17,353 --> 00:11:19,187
it's gotta be a profuse apology.

309
00:11:19,188 --> 00:11:21,523
That was an apology like
you were one minute late.

310
00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:23,225
- Am I right?
- He's right.

311
00:11:23,226 --> 00:11:26,261
And frankly, your "sorry" was
not commensurate with the offense.

312
00:11:26,262 --> 00:11:27,795
Can I get a drink?

313
00:11:27,796 --> 00:11:29,797
If I was 20 minutes late,

314
00:11:29,798 --> 00:11:33,901
I'd be apologizing like I
accidentally killed your family.

315
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,569
- Guess what.
- Yeah?

316
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,872
You did accidentally kill my family.

317
00:11:37,873 --> 00:11:40,474
My nephew, the joy of my life,

318
00:11:40,475 --> 00:11:43,910
was killed by the bulls,
and it was your fault!

319
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,445
Okay?!

320
00:11:47,616 --> 00:11:49,782
Sorry.

321
00:11:52,053 --> 00:11:53,687
Bottle of wine, anybody?

322
00:11:53,688 --> 00:11:55,489
- Yes! Good idea.
- Yeah.

323
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:56,823
- Red or white?
- Love red.

324
00:11:56,824 --> 00:11:57,991
So what's happening?

325
00:11:57,992 --> 00:12:01,193
I had a colonoscopy. Clean as a whistle.

326
00:12:14,976 --> 00:12:16,476
- Hey!
- Hey, good morning, Larry.

327
00:12:16,477 --> 00:12:18,678
Good morning.

328
00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:20,580
Hey, L.D. Thanks for paintball.

329
00:12:20,581 --> 00:12:23,182
Oh, y-you're very welcome.
You're very welcome.

330
00:12:23,183 --> 00:12:24,884
Hey, that was so sweet of you.

331
00:12:24,885 --> 00:12:26,552
- Oh. It was nothing.
- Thank you. Really.

332
00:12:26,553 --> 00:12:27,787
- Nothing.
- It's gonna be fun.

333
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,589
- See you inside.
- Okay.

334
00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:31,056
You know what, get me the salmon...

335
00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:33,292
- get me the salmon with the salad.
- Cool.

336
00:12:33,293 --> 00:12:34,760
Thanks for the paintball, L.D.

337
00:12:34,761 --> 00:12:36,561
You are very, very welcome.

338
00:12:36,562 --> 00:12:39,265
Speaking of the
paintball, that is so nice.

339
00:12:39,266 --> 00:12:40,833
The crew is freaking out.

340
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:42,835
Oh, I'm happy to do it.

341
00:12:42,836 --> 00:12:45,704
I love paintball and
I am sorry I can't go.

342
00:12:45,705 --> 00:12:46,972
I have a gig booked.

343
00:12:46,973 --> 00:12:48,107
Shooting a commercial

344
00:12:48,108 --> 00:12:51,109
for this feline distemper medication.

345
00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:53,812
I have my shots, so I know
how to deal with the cats.

346
00:12:53,813 --> 00:12:55,547
Mm, ah. What a shame.

347
00:12:55,548 --> 00:12:57,749
How do you have an event like
this without Cody Gutcher?

348
00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:00,051
- I know.
- Huh?

349
00:13:00,999 --> 00:13:02,728
What are they paying you
for this thing, may I ask?

350
00:13:02,729 --> 00:13:05,757
It's my day rate. 1,200.

351
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,859
Okay, you know what?

352
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:09,994
I'm gonna take care of that for you.

353
00:13:09,995 --> 00:13:11,562
I'll give you the 1,200.

354
00:13:11,563 --> 00:13:13,865
Tell them you can't make it.
You're going to paintball.

355
00:13:13,866 --> 00:13:16,334
- Oh, my God, Larry!
- Huh?

356
00:13:16,335 --> 00:13:17,424
Thank you!

357
00:13:17,425 --> 00:13:18,837
We couldn't do it
without you, Cody Gutcher.

358
00:13:18,838 --> 00:13:21,539
- You gotta be there.
- Thank you so much. You are a prince.

359
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:23,941
You're welcome, and
let me just say this...

360
00:13:23,942 --> 00:13:25,543
that is a fantastic "thank you."

361
00:13:25,544 --> 00:13:28,312
That was a "thank you"
commensurate with the gesture.

362
00:13:28,313 --> 00:13:29,980
And it's worth it for that "thank you."

363
00:13:29,981 --> 00:13:32,149
- What do you think about that?
- We're gonna have a blast.

364
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:33,951
I love that "thank you." Love it.

365
00:13:33,952 --> 00:13:35,152
My pleasure.

366
00:13:35,153 --> 00:13:37,455
Jeremy?

367
00:13:37,456 --> 00:13:39,056
- Hey, Murray.
- Ah, Larry.

368
00:13:39,057 --> 00:13:42,125
Oh, listen, about the,
uh... the harem scene.

369
00:13:42,126 --> 00:13:43,493
There's too many redheads.

370
00:13:43,494 --> 00:13:45,095
- Six?
- Yeah.

371
00:13:45,096 --> 00:13:46,796
What do you think? Four?

372
00:13:46,797 --> 00:13:48,265
Yeah, you're right.

373
00:13:48,266 --> 00:13:49,432
I think four. Four is better.

374
00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:51,501
Thanks, thanks.

375
00:13:51,502 --> 00:13:53,769
Oh, same pants as yesterday.

376
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,440
What, are you tracking my outfits?

377
00:13:57,441 --> 00:13:59,942
No, no, just... observing, that's all.

378
00:13:59,943 --> 00:14:03,179
You know, I was late and they had
the belt in them from yesterday,

379
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:04,881
so I picked them up
'cause I was in a hurry.

380
00:14:04,882 --> 00:14:06,750
They're not dirty or anything.

381
00:14:06,751 --> 00:14:08,685
Then by all means, wear them again.

382
00:14:08,686 --> 00:14:10,653
You're an outfit tracker, Murray.

383
00:14:10,654 --> 00:14:12,154
Nobody likes an outfit tracker.

384
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,290
I don't know why a casual observation

385
00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:16,325
has made you so uncomfortable.

386
00:14:16,326 --> 00:14:18,527
I just feel like I'm living in
some kind of clothing police state,

387
00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:19,929
like it's 1984.

388
00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:21,330
Big Murray's watching me.

389
00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:22,731
Big Murray's not watching you.

390
00:14:22,732 --> 00:14:24,133
No, Big Murray is watching.

391
00:14:24,134 --> 00:14:26,035
Big Murray has other things to do.

392
00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:28,871
Apparently, Big Murray has nothing
else to do but outfit track.

393
00:14:28,872 --> 00:14:30,238
I'm not judging you,

394
00:14:30,239 --> 00:14:32,775
I'm just noticing that
you wore the same pants.

395
00:14:32,776 --> 00:14:35,109
Okay, Big Murray.

396
00:14:42,018 --> 00:14:45,320
- Robes, robes, robes...
- Hey, L.D., psyched about the paintball.

397
00:14:45,321 --> 00:14:47,789
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, my pleasure! Of course!

398
00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:49,757
You are the kindest. Thank you so much.

399
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,358
Oh, you're so welcome!

400
00:14:52,361 --> 00:14:54,162
- Hey.
- What's up?

401
00:14:54,163 --> 00:14:57,132
I have great news. We got a signer.

402
00:14:57,133 --> 00:14:58,800
For... for deaf people?

403
00:14:58,801 --> 00:15:00,268
Yeah, yeah, for deaf people.

404
00:15:00,269 --> 00:15:01,636
And anyone who enjoys ASL.

405
00:15:01,637 --> 00:15:03,638
I mean, she's basically on the side

406
00:15:03,639 --> 00:15:05,840
and she signs throughout
the performance.

407
00:15:05,841 --> 00:15:08,309
- It's awesome.
- Do deaf people go to musicals?

408
00:15:08,310 --> 00:15:10,745
- Yeah.
- Why don't we just have

409
00:15:10,746 --> 00:15:13,448
one performance a month
for all deaf people?

410
00:15:13,449 --> 00:15:16,884
And we don't have to be
distracted by a signer onstage.

411
00:15:16,885 --> 00:15:19,119
You want to segregate the deaf?

412
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,787
No, I don't want to segregate them.

413
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:22,589
Yeah, separate, but equal.

414
00:15:22,590 --> 00:15:24,791
Special, but equal.

415
00:15:24,792 --> 00:15:26,860
She's gonna be incredible. You'll see.

416
00:15:26,861 --> 00:15:29,196
It's really inclusive. Hey,
let me ask you something.

417
00:15:29,197 --> 00:15:30,364
Do you like this robe?

418
00:15:30,365 --> 00:15:32,566
I... yeah, it's nice. I like it.

419
00:15:32,567 --> 00:15:34,601
That's what I thought.
We need to see more robes.

420
00:15:34,602 --> 00:15:36,569
You're gonna have to go shopping again.

421
00:15:38,072 --> 00:15:39,271
Thank you.

422
00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:43,343
Okay, you're driving
this poor guy nuts, okay?

423
00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:45,445
- That's the gig.
- He's gonna quit.

424
00:15:45,446 --> 00:15:47,413
No, he's gonna get in the weeds with us.

425
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,082
He's gonna emerge with the perfect robe.

426
00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:50,484
Okay, well, I'm telling you,

427
00:15:50,485 --> 00:15:52,352
he's one foot out the door right now.

428
00:15:52,353 --> 00:15:54,988
Well, as long as he's one foot out
the door finding the right robe,

429
00:15:54,989 --> 00:15:56,655
I don't give a fuck.

430
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,524
- Hi!
- Hi!

431
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,860
- Lin! Hi!
- Oh, my God, you made it!

432
00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:01,864
So good to see you.

433
00:16:01,865 --> 00:16:04,263
Hi, Ernst. Great to
see you. How are you?

434
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,932
Larry, this is my cousin
Valentina and her husband Ernst.

435
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:07,933
Hey, nice to meet you.

436
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:10,235
- Valentina? Hi.
- Hi. Yeah.

437
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:11,871
- Hello.
- Hello. Hi.

438
00:16:11,872 --> 00:16:13,739
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you as well.

439
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,742
So, is this the wardrobe
area? Tell me about this place.

440
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,411
Yes, this is the wardrobe area. This is
where all the costumes in the show are.

441
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,046
And we're just getting everything, uh...

442
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:24,116
I'm Gregory Michael David.
I'm the costume designer.

443
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,351
- Hi. Valentina.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

444
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,620
- This is your fiefdom.
- Yes, yes!

445
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,490
This is the workshop, so,
yeah, feel free to look around.

446
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,526
Yeah, just seems like fun to
have people try on your creations.

447
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,662
Yes. If you wanna try anything
on, please let me know.

448
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,398
Yes. Do you have things in turquoise?

449
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,699
- I could pull some stuff for you, yeah.
- I would love that.

450
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,668
He seems very competent.

451
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,103
Yeah. We're a robe away,
but he's doing great.

452
00:16:46,104 --> 00:16:47,839
I get it.

453
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,439
How long you two been married?

454
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,710
- Um... a few years.
- Yeah.

455
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:54,111
Kids?

456
00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:55,613
- Mmm, no.
- No.

457
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:58,582
- We're not gonna have kids.
- No. Cats.

458
00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:00,684
- Why don't you guys go upstairs...
- Okay.

459
00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:02,853
...and I'll give you guys a
tour as soon as I get upstairs.

460
00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:04,621
They've got the
directions to your place.

461
00:17:04,622 --> 00:17:08,092
Yeah, yeah, just go over
anytime, make yourself at home,

462
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:10,426
and stay as long as you like, actually.

463
00:17:11,396 --> 00:17:13,196
- Thanks.
- Thank you.

464
00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:20,336
All right. I see where you got
your tepid "thank yous" from.

465
00:17:20,337 --> 00:17:22,272
That was worse than your "thank you."

466
00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:24,908
That seemed like a perfectly
appropriate "thank you" to me.

467
00:17:24,909 --> 00:17:26,209
- Oh, did it? Really?
- Yeah.

468
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:27,778
What is it with you Mirandas?

469
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:29,746
You're missing some kind of...

470
00:17:29,747 --> 00:17:31,181
"thank you" gene or something.

471
00:17:31,182 --> 00:17:34,084
I think we all said it.

472
00:17:34,085 --> 00:17:35,918
Yeah. Okay.

473
00:17:35,919 --> 00:17:37,487
- Okay, I'll see you upstairs.
- See you upstairs.

474
00:17:37,488 --> 00:17:41,391
Yeah. Let's find a
Dumpster for this bullshit.

475
00:17:41,392 --> 00:17:44,493
Hey, those are from a rental house, Lin.

476
00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:49,799
Okay, everybody, we're at places,
please, for "Salman, Get Out."

477
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,301
Full tech and music.

478
00:17:52,302 --> 00:17:54,436
- Is our signer here?
- Yes, right here.

479
00:17:54,437 --> 00:17:56,071
Come on up here, please.

480
00:17:58,108 --> 00:17:59,541
We have a place for you.

481
00:17:59,542 --> 00:18:02,444
That spike mark, downstage left.

482
00:18:02,445 --> 00:18:05,414
Places for the top!

483
00:18:05,415 --> 00:18:07,249
All right.

484
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:10,051
- Good morning!
- Hello, darling.

485
00:18:10,052 --> 00:18:13,555
And breakfast for our guest.

486
00:18:13,556 --> 00:18:15,124
No granola?

487
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:17,157
Ah, no. I...

488
00:18:19,061 --> 00:18:20,729
You should be grateful.

489
00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:22,731
Hey, uh, Salman, hey,
you should be grateful.

490
00:18:22,732 --> 00:18:24,833
I'm grateful. I'm just
a little tired of muesli.

491
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:28,302
- You can be grateful and tired of muesli.
- Hey.

492
00:18:28,303 --> 00:18:31,339
- Salman, we have to talk.
- What do you want to talk about?

493
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:33,207
We took you into our home.

494
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,710
You wouldn't have made it on your own.

495
00:18:35,711 --> 00:18:37,645
But now it's time for you to go.

496
00:18:37,646 --> 00:18:40,414
I have to say I'm a little thrown.

497
00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:43,451
- You're a slob.
- You're a pig.

498
00:18:43,452 --> 00:18:47,087
- You're a lazy lout.
- So what are you saying?

499
00:18:47,088 --> 00:18:49,290
♪ Salman, get out! ♪

500
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:51,859
♪ I'm a great guest, you
hardly know I'm there ♪

501
00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:55,029
♪ You walk around in a
robe with no underwear ♪

502
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:57,731
♪ If you make me leave,
I'll be dead, no doubt ♪

503
00:18:57,732 --> 00:18:59,299
♪ Ugh! Close your legs ♪

504
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,468
♪ And, Salman, get out ♪

505
00:19:07,542 --> 00:19:08,876
And stay out!

506
00:19:08,877 --> 00:19:10,943
- Don't come back!
- Lose my number!

507
00:19:10,944 --> 00:19:12,479
Go stay with the ayatollah!

508
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,113
♪ Salman, Salman ♪

509
00:19:14,114 --> 00:19:18,552
♪ Salman, Salman,
Salman, Salman, Salman ♪

510
00:19:18,553 --> 00:19:19,952
♪ Salman, get out! ♪

511
00:19:21,922 --> 00:19:23,856
Okay, great!

512
00:19:23,857 --> 00:19:25,659
Great work, everybody.

513
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:27,459
It was good. Too bad you missed it.

514
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:29,361
- Oh, no, I... I saw it.
- Yeah.

515
00:19:29,362 --> 00:19:30,396
Thank you, Cody.

516
00:19:30,397 --> 00:19:31,898
- Thank you.
- Thanks, guys.

517
00:19:31,899 --> 00:19:33,599
- Tina, you're a star. Thank you.
- Thank you.

518
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,433
Hey, Larry, can I talk to you for a sec?

519
00:19:36,603 --> 00:19:38,738
I feel like...

520
00:19:38,739 --> 00:19:40,773
I feel like the number's not working.

521
00:19:40,774 --> 00:19:43,108
- Oh. You know why it's not working?
- Why?

522
00:19:43,109 --> 00:19:44,684
'Cause everybody's looking
at her tits, that's why.

523
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:45,751
What?

524
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,979
Bill didn't see ten
seconds of that number.

525
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,415
He was staring at her the whole time,

526
00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:51,183
as was every other guy in the audience.

527
00:19:51,184 --> 00:19:53,519
It's just the reasons he's
getting kicked out of the house

528
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:54,620
are so fuckin' petty.

529
00:19:54,621 --> 00:19:56,388
No, I completely disagree with you.

530
00:19:56,389 --> 00:19:57,989
Look, he's a terrible houseguest.

531
00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:00,592
His life depends on his
being a good houseguest.

532
00:20:00,593 --> 00:20:02,594
He's a pig! He doesn't do the dishes!

533
00:20:02,595 --> 00:20:03,661
That's funny!

534
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:05,263
Maybe we just need different reasons.

535
00:20:05,264 --> 00:20:07,165
Okay, I'll come up
with some other reasons.

536
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,600
- How's that?
- Okay.

537
00:20:08,601 --> 00:20:10,936
- It's not gonna work anyway.
- Why not?

538
00:20:10,937 --> 00:20:13,404
Because men will look
at tits over anything.

539
00:20:13,405 --> 00:20:16,207
You could be in the last
inning of the World Series,

540
00:20:16,208 --> 00:20:17,908
a 3-2 score, bases loaded,

541
00:20:17,909 --> 00:20:19,644
somebody changes the
channel and there's tits on,

542
00:20:19,645 --> 00:20:21,379
they will not go back
to the World Series.

543
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:23,748
We're on the verge of
making a great musical,

544
00:20:23,749 --> 00:20:25,383
and you're scapegoating tits?

545
00:20:25,384 --> 00:20:27,852
- It's the scene.
- No, it's the tits!

546
00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:29,587
- It's the scene.
- Tits!

547
00:20:29,588 --> 00:20:32,056
- Scene! Scene! Scene!
- Tits! Tits! Tits!

548
00:20:32,057 --> 00:20:33,957
Scene, and she stays.

549
00:20:35,493 --> 00:20:37,194
Sorry.

550
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:39,429
All right, insufficient "sorry."

551
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:42,432
Terrible, awful, horrible "sorry."

552
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:44,201
Apparently, the Miranda "sorrys"

553
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,903
are just as bad as their "thank yous."

554
00:20:48,006 --> 00:20:49,973
You heard me... 1,200.

555
00:20:49,974 --> 00:20:53,343
1,200 fuckin' dollars to
skip a day on his real job

556
00:20:53,344 --> 00:20:55,011
to come with you guys paintballing?

557
00:20:55,012 --> 00:20:56,980
- You're a good guy.
- Thank you.

558
00:20:56,981 --> 00:20:59,048
- I respect you for that.
- People don't think I'm a nice guy.

559
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,550
Basically, you're
paying this motherfucker

560
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,919
to shoot people with
a goddamn paint gun.

561
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,152
See?

562
00:21:05,289 --> 00:21:06,589
You know what I just realized?

563
00:21:06,590 --> 00:21:09,993
- Mm-hmm?
- I gave this guy 1,200,

564
00:21:09,994 --> 00:21:12,428
but he wasn't gonna make 1,200.

565
00:21:12,429 --> 00:21:13,997
- That's his gross.
- Mmm!

566
00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:16,199
They're gonna deduct taxes
from what he's getting.

567
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,335
He'd only wind up with 700 or 750.

568
00:21:19,336 --> 00:21:21,704
The guy just made $500 off me.

569
00:21:21,705 --> 00:21:23,272
You fucked up.

570
00:21:23,273 --> 00:21:25,007
See, when you give somebody money,

571
00:21:25,008 --> 00:21:26,542
you gotta add that
shit up in your brain.

572
00:21:26,543 --> 00:21:28,611
You FICA. You take the
fuckin' difference out!

573
00:21:28,612 --> 00:21:30,413
- You FICA!
- I'm not FICA!

574
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,747
You "FIC'd" up.

575
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:33,616
He just made money on you!

576
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,054
Ah. Hello.

577
00:21:39,055 --> 00:21:40,689
Ernest, Valentina.

578
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:42,490
- Hi.
- Hello, Larry.

579
00:21:42,491 --> 00:21:43,724
Please, come in.

580
00:21:46,896 --> 00:21:49,664
Yeah. Well, this is it.

581
00:21:49,665 --> 00:21:51,733
Looks great.

582
00:21:51,734 --> 00:21:53,302
Oh, man.

583
00:21:53,303 --> 00:21:55,069
Oh, this is Leon.

584
00:21:55,070 --> 00:21:56,504
He lives in my guesthouse.

585
00:21:56,505 --> 00:21:58,373
- Hello, Leon.
- I like that look.

586
00:21:58,374 --> 00:22:00,975
- Yeah, I like that jacket.
- Thank you very much.

587
00:22:00,976 --> 00:22:02,377
My mother gave it to me.

588
00:22:02,378 --> 00:22:03,978
- Your mother gave you the jacket?
- Yes.

589
00:22:03,979 --> 00:22:05,012
It was hers.

590
00:22:05,013 --> 00:22:06,448
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

591
00:22:06,449 --> 00:22:08,081
They make that bag for men?

592
00:22:09,318 --> 00:22:11,986
Yes, this bag is made for men, women,

593
00:22:11,987 --> 00:22:14,421
anybody who enjoys
carrying things around.

594
00:22:14,422 --> 00:22:17,091
- You two are married?
- Yeah. Yes.

595
00:22:17,092 --> 00:22:19,460
So you got on one knee
and asked her to marry you?

596
00:22:19,461 --> 00:22:20,494
No, no, no.

597
00:22:20,495 --> 00:22:22,496
It was during the
intermission of "Swan Lake."

598
00:22:22,497 --> 00:22:24,365
I just looked to her and
said, "Will you marry me?"

599
00:22:24,366 --> 00:22:26,467
Okay, that's a ballet,
all right? You got it?

600
00:22:26,468 --> 00:22:28,435
- Last one.
- No, no! No last one.

601
00:22:28,436 --> 00:22:31,004
Did you get on top of her
on the honeymoon night?

602
00:22:31,005 --> 00:22:32,606
Shut the fuck up. Get out of here.

603
00:22:32,607 --> 00:22:34,207
I'm just asking questions.

604
00:22:34,208 --> 00:22:37,010
Don't ask any more
questions, okay? Shut up.

605
00:22:37,011 --> 00:22:39,880
Um, you guys interested in a house tour?

606
00:22:39,881 --> 00:22:42,683
- S-Sure.
- Okay.

607
00:22:42,684 --> 00:22:44,450
Will you be joining us, Leon?

608
00:22:44,451 --> 00:22:45,818
Yeah.

609
00:22:45,819 --> 00:22:47,019
Cool.

610
00:22:50,157 --> 00:22:51,657
Is that good?

611
00:22:51,658 --> 00:22:53,260
Dining room, kitchen's that way.

612
00:22:53,261 --> 00:22:54,694
By the way, make yourself at home.

613
00:22:54,695 --> 00:22:56,696
You know, feel free to
use the refrigerator.

614
00:22:56,697 --> 00:22:59,266
You've got refrigerator
privileges. How's that?

615
00:22:59,267 --> 00:23:00,500
- Cool.
- Thank you.

616
00:23:00,501 --> 00:23:04,003
Before I forget, this
little gadget, okay?

617
00:23:04,004 --> 00:23:05,438
Watch this.

618
00:23:05,439 --> 00:23:07,673
You want the curtains
down, you press that button,

619
00:23:07,674 --> 00:23:09,609
now you stop it, and now they go up.

620
00:23:09,610 --> 00:23:11,677
Isn't that great? I love this thing.

621
00:23:11,678 --> 00:23:13,245
Love it.

622
00:23:13,246 --> 00:23:15,915
I don't see why I would ever need that.

623
00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:17,283
No, no! Look, look! See?

624
00:23:17,284 --> 00:23:18,717
Here, look.

625
00:23:18,718 --> 00:23:20,286
Voila!

626
00:23:20,287 --> 00:23:23,222
You're showing us the same function?

627
00:23:23,223 --> 00:23:25,157
Yeah, I guess.

628
00:23:25,158 --> 00:23:27,192
- Hmm.
- Hmm.

629
00:23:27,193 --> 00:23:28,527
Um... oh.

630
00:23:28,528 --> 00:23:29,929
Bedrooms are upstairs,

631
00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:32,664
and, uh, there are two
guest rooms if you'd like.

632
00:23:32,665 --> 00:23:34,466
Whoo!

633
00:23:34,467 --> 00:23:36,668
Why would we need two bedrooms?

634
00:23:36,669 --> 00:23:39,671
No, no... no reason. Uh...

635
00:23:39,672 --> 00:23:40,906
No reason?

636
00:23:40,907 --> 00:23:42,407
We are husband and wife.

637
00:23:42,408 --> 00:23:44,409
We sleep in one bedroom.

638
00:23:44,410 --> 00:23:47,312
No, but I know a lot of people
who sleep in separate bedrooms.

639
00:23:47,313 --> 00:23:48,379
Couples. Yeah.

640
00:23:48,380 --> 00:23:49,915
- Really? Like who?
- Mmm.

641
00:23:49,916 --> 00:23:52,350
You want names? Okay,
I'll give you names.

642
00:23:52,351 --> 00:23:55,353
Um, Pete Rose, Tony Perez,

643
00:23:55,354 --> 00:23:58,156
Johnny Bench, uh, George Foster,

644
00:23:58,157 --> 00:23:59,623
Dave Concepción.

645
00:23:59,624 --> 00:24:01,926
You... you've named
six old baseball players

646
00:24:01,927 --> 00:24:04,728
who are married but sleep
in separate bedrooms?

647
00:24:04,729 --> 00:24:06,297
Yeah.

648
00:24:06,298 --> 00:24:08,165
Even the Hit King?

649
00:24:08,166 --> 00:24:11,435
Yeah. Hit King especially.

650
00:24:11,436 --> 00:24:14,271
Well, we sleep in a bedroom together.

651
00:24:14,272 --> 00:24:16,540
- Yeah.
- You know what, um...

652
00:24:16,541 --> 00:24:19,510
Let's forget about it.
I'm... I'm... I'm sorry.

653
00:24:19,511 --> 00:24:22,012
I'm sorry, was that an apology?

654
00:24:22,013 --> 00:24:23,246
No good?

655
00:24:23,247 --> 00:24:25,949
There wasn't really any emotion to it.

656
00:24:25,950 --> 00:24:29,086
Yeah. Your eyes were bouncing
around like a cat with strings.

657
00:24:29,087 --> 00:24:29,936
Yeah.

658
00:24:29,937 --> 00:24:32,022
Well, I'm really sorry
if my apology was...

659
00:24:32,023 --> 00:24:33,390
was not sufficient.

660
00:24:33,391 --> 00:24:35,792
You've just apologized for your apology?

661
00:24:35,793 --> 00:24:38,828
- Yes!
- That was better than the first apology.

662
00:24:38,829 --> 00:24:41,263
Why don't you just use that apology?

663
00:24:41,264 --> 00:24:43,833
You know what, Larry,
we're gonna go upstairs

664
00:24:43,834 --> 00:24:47,203
to, uh, the one guest bedroom.

665
00:24:47,204 --> 00:24:48,971
Perfectly acceptable.

666
00:24:57,814 --> 00:25:00,449
You got yourself in some shit this time.

667
00:25:00,450 --> 00:25:02,783
They're a couple of freaks, man.

668
00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:09,625
Could you believe this kitchen?

669
00:25:09,626 --> 00:25:10,959
- And you know what a great cook I am.
- Yeah.

670
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,028
The meals I make here... right, Jeff?

671
00:25:13,029 --> 00:25:13,803
Yeah.

672
00:25:13,804 --> 00:25:16,031
It must have cost millions
upon millions of dollars.

673
00:25:16,032 --> 00:25:17,432
Well, it's big, but it's intimate.

674
00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:18,734
We sit by the fire.

675
00:25:18,735 --> 00:25:20,802
- It's cozy, it's warm.
- Cozy?

676
00:25:20,803 --> 00:25:21,970
This is cozy?

677
00:25:21,971 --> 00:25:24,172
This is the best party
house. Right, Jeff?

678
00:25:24,173 --> 00:25:25,048
Yeah.

679
00:25:25,049 --> 00:25:27,576
So, did you figure
it out about Saturday?

680
00:25:27,577 --> 00:25:29,644
Yeah, yeah, I got the
whole thing figured out.

681
00:25:29,645 --> 00:25:31,446
I'm gonna go to paintball, then
I'm gonna go to the wedding.

682
00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:34,615
Because Sammi, when I mentioned
that you had some problems

683
00:25:34,616 --> 00:25:37,052
and conflict, you should have
seen the look on her face.

684
00:25:37,053 --> 00:25:39,587
Susie, let me tell you something, okay?

685
00:25:39,588 --> 00:25:42,257
I've known Sammi since she was born.

686
00:25:42,258 --> 00:25:46,093
And one of the great
joys in my life has...

687
00:25:46,094 --> 00:25:49,797
has been watching her blossom into this
beautiful, sophisticated young lady.

688
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:50,932
Mm-hmm.

689
00:25:50,933 --> 00:25:53,300
I won't miss her wedding. No way.

690
00:25:53,301 --> 00:25:55,369
Oh, Lar, that's so
sweet. Are you serious?

691
00:25:55,370 --> 00:25:57,872
- No.
- All right, just fuckin' be there, okay?

692
00:25:57,873 --> 00:25:59,540
- Okay.
- Don't disappoint me.

693
00:25:59,541 --> 00:26:01,442
- No, I won't.
- So, uh...

694
00:26:01,443 --> 00:26:04,678
Victor's parents are coming
tonight, Lisa and Paul.

695
00:26:04,679 --> 00:26:06,547
And they're deaf, you know.

696
00:26:06,548 --> 00:26:08,582
Oh. What is that, mold?

697
00:26:08,583 --> 00:26:10,884
It's not fucking mold! It's cheese!

698
00:26:10,885 --> 00:26:12,652
- Cheese? Look at it.
- It's cheese.

699
00:26:12,653 --> 00:26:14,955
Oh, there's the Chesnicks.

700
00:26:14,956 --> 00:26:16,090
Wait till you meet them.

701
00:26:16,091 --> 00:26:18,492
They are just such sweet people.

702
00:26:19,927 --> 00:26:23,597
By the way, this house... oh, my God.

703
00:26:23,598 --> 00:26:24,539
It's wrong.

704
00:26:24,540 --> 00:26:27,266
Yeah. Unbelievable how
life works, isn't it?

705
00:26:27,267 --> 00:26:29,669
Just to get laid. I'm an idiot.

706
00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:31,071
- Oh.
- All right.

707
00:26:31,072 --> 00:26:33,339
- Okay. Yeah.
- Oh, hi!

708
00:26:33,340 --> 00:26:34,641
- How you doing, Victor?
- I'm good, man.

709
00:26:34,642 --> 00:26:35,874
- How you doing?
- Good.

710
00:26:35,875 --> 00:26:37,676
Hey, I want to introduce
my mom and my dad,

711
00:26:37,677 --> 00:26:38,744
Lisa and Paul.

712
00:26:38,745 --> 00:26:40,613
How do you do? Hello.

713
00:26:40,614 --> 00:26:43,382
Hi. Larry. Larry.

714
00:26:43,383 --> 00:26:44,584
Larry.

715
00:26:44,585 --> 00:26:46,085
Rhymes with "Harry."

716
00:26:46,086 --> 00:26:47,320
- Hi, babe.
- What's going on?

717
00:26:47,321 --> 00:26:49,021
- Ask them how they met.
- Yeah.

718
00:26:49,022 --> 00:26:50,723
How did you two meet?

719
00:26:50,724 --> 00:26:53,092
Were you fixed up because you're deaf?

720
00:26:53,093 --> 00:26:55,728
Ugh, stupid fucking question.

721
00:26:55,729 --> 00:26:57,395
No, I'm not asking them that.

722
00:26:57,396 --> 00:26:59,431
- I think it's a good question.
- It's a good question.

723
00:26:59,432 --> 00:27:02,101
I'd be curious, too. I never asked it.

724
00:27:02,102 --> 00:27:04,402
Ah. Bathroom? Around that way.

725
00:27:04,403 --> 00:27:05,903
Yeah, there.

726
00:27:06,873 --> 00:27:08,040
I'm hungry.

727
00:27:08,041 --> 00:27:09,674
- Yeah?
- Hungry. Let's eat.

728
00:27:09,675 --> 00:27:11,176
- No. We can't eat yet.
- Why?

729
00:27:11,177 --> 00:27:13,878
- Everybody's not here.
- Who are we waiting for?

730
00:27:13,879 --> 00:27:16,281
- Funkhouser.
- Who else?

731
00:27:16,282 --> 00:27:17,749
What? Again?

732
00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:19,451
He's a guest. We're
waiting for him to eat.

733
00:27:19,452 --> 00:27:21,319
We're not gonna eat before
Funkhouser gets here.

734
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,687
- This is your policy?
- Yes, it's my policy.

735
00:27:24,857 --> 00:27:26,457
Yeah, "hold your horses."

736
00:27:26,458 --> 00:27:27,692
- "Hold your horses"?
- Yeah.

737
00:27:27,693 --> 00:27:29,694
This is... this is "Hold your horses"?

738
00:27:29,695 --> 00:27:31,029
That's a bad sign.

739
00:27:31,030 --> 00:27:34,032
"Hold your horses" is, "Whoa, pull back!

740
00:27:34,033 --> 00:27:35,332
Hold your horses!"

741
00:27:35,333 --> 00:27:37,735
- Is that it?
- Yeah.

742
00:27:37,736 --> 00:27:39,236
Mine's better than yours.

743
00:27:39,237 --> 00:27:41,105
This? No.

744
00:27:41,106 --> 00:27:44,675
That's "hold your
horses." Yeah. Thank you.

745
00:27:44,676 --> 00:27:47,010
I'll bet I could come
up with some good signs

746
00:27:47,011 --> 00:27:50,914
that would improve sign language.

747
00:27:50,915 --> 00:27:52,515
How about "dog"?

748
00:27:52,516 --> 00:27:54,617
Yeah. Yeah.

749
00:27:54,618 --> 00:27:56,286
- No.
- What would you do?

750
00:27:57,955 --> 00:28:00,123
"Dog."

751
00:28:00,124 --> 00:28:03,992
I can improve the whole language.

752
00:28:06,363 --> 00:28:08,431
- Bullshit.
- Oh.

753
00:28:08,432 --> 00:28:09,832
- All right, you know what?
- No.

754
00:28:09,833 --> 00:28:11,501
I have people I want you to meet.

755
00:28:11,502 --> 00:28:14,170
Come with me. Enough of your nonsense.

756
00:28:14,171 --> 00:28:15,672
Hey, did I tell you

757
00:28:15,673 --> 00:28:18,974
that Lin hired a signer for the show?

758
00:28:18,975 --> 00:28:21,376
And she's got big, big boobs!

759
00:28:21,377 --> 00:28:23,179
Very buxomy, you know?

760
00:28:23,180 --> 00:28:25,380
- They're gonna take away from the show.
- Huge!

761
00:28:25,381 --> 00:28:27,482
So distracting. She's, like, big!

762
00:28:27,483 --> 00:28:28,584
- Really?
- Yeah.

763
00:28:28,585 --> 00:28:30,052
I can't wait.

764
00:28:30,053 --> 00:28:32,888
The interpreter

765
00:28:32,889 --> 00:28:34,423
at our show...

766
00:28:34,424 --> 00:28:37,426
A show... ho ho! It's a musical.

767
00:28:37,427 --> 00:28:39,661
Musical. ♪ Hey! Hello! ♪

768
00:28:39,662 --> 00:28:43,298
You know, she has a big...

769
00:28:43,299 --> 00:28:44,399
big bosom.

770
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,635
Yeah, the interpreter. Yeah.

771
00:28:46,636 --> 00:28:48,604
Not that big. Yeah.
About... yeah, there.

772
00:28:48,605 --> 00:28:50,706
He likes the bosom.

773
00:28:50,707 --> 00:28:52,340
Oh, I'm so sorry.

774
00:28:52,341 --> 00:28:54,876
I can't begin to apologize enough.

775
00:28:54,877 --> 00:28:57,112
I know I'm late, and I'm sorry!

776
00:28:57,113 --> 00:29:00,115
I'm sorry! I'm so... who's this?

777
00:29:00,116 --> 00:29:02,283
- That's Paul.
- I'm sorry.

778
00:29:02,284 --> 00:29:04,152
- Hey, it's okay.
- I'm so sorry!

779
00:29:04,153 --> 00:29:06,654
- It's a tremendous apology.
- I know, it's horrible!

780
00:29:06,655 --> 00:29:08,922
What can I say to make
it... make it good?

781
00:29:08,923 --> 00:29:11,325
You don't have to say anything.
It's a fantastic apology.

782
00:29:11,326 --> 00:29:13,427
One of the best
apologies I've ever heard!

783
00:29:13,428 --> 00:29:14,895
Gave me the chills, that apology.

784
00:29:14,896 --> 00:29:16,731
Oh, my God! I feel like
getting down on my knees.

785
00:29:16,732 --> 00:29:18,232
I don't know what else to do!

786
00:29:18,233 --> 00:29:20,468
I wish that could be broadcast
on national television

787
00:29:20,469 --> 00:29:23,103
so people could hear what an
apology's supposed to sound like!

788
00:29:23,104 --> 00:29:24,805
- That's why you're my friend.
- Thank you.

789
00:29:24,806 --> 00:29:27,141
What a fantastic
fucking apology that was!

790
00:29:27,142 --> 00:29:28,960
Okay, thank you for...
thank you so much.

791
00:29:28,961 --> 00:29:29,943
That was so great.

792
00:29:29,944 --> 00:29:31,444
- Thank you very much.
- That was great.

793
00:29:31,445 --> 00:29:33,847
Thank you. I feel better.

794
00:29:33,848 --> 00:29:35,916
All right, okay. Everybody's here.

795
00:29:35,917 --> 00:29:38,152
- Let's eat!
- Let's eat! Beautiful!

796
00:29:38,153 --> 00:29:39,820
- Let's do it.
- Come on, everybody. Let's go!

797
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:41,420
Dinner!

798
00:29:43,691 --> 00:29:45,958
- Larry, I want you here.
- Sure.

799
00:29:45,959 --> 00:29:47,427
- There.
- Got it.

800
00:29:51,265 --> 00:29:53,633
Okay, let's try this rewrite.

801
00:29:53,634 --> 00:29:55,868
...darling.

802
00:29:55,869 --> 00:29:58,204
- Hello, darling.
- Good morning.

803
00:29:58,205 --> 00:30:01,174
- Yes.
- Hey, same pants as yesterday.

804
00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:04,177
What's this? What, are you
tracking my outfits now?

805
00:30:04,178 --> 00:30:05,812
Just an observation.

806
00:30:05,813 --> 00:30:08,815
Huh. You know, for a guy
with so many other concerns,

807
00:30:08,816 --> 00:30:11,717
my trousers should be at
the bottom of your list.

808
00:30:11,718 --> 00:30:12,671
Yes.

809
00:30:12,672 --> 00:30:14,119
Well, as long as we're talking about it,

810
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,254
am I crazy, or have you worn
them three days in a row?

811
00:30:16,255 --> 00:30:18,324
- Oh, come on.
- Hey, do me a favor, all right?

812
00:30:18,325 --> 00:30:20,659
Stop the tracking. No
one likes to be tracked!

813
00:30:20,660 --> 00:30:23,228
Yes. How would you like
it if we tracked you?

814
00:30:23,229 --> 00:30:25,063
Do it. I'm in hiding with four outfits.

815
00:30:25,064 --> 00:30:26,732
You'll never see me doubling up.

816
00:30:26,733 --> 00:30:28,600
You know why? I rotate.

817
00:30:28,601 --> 00:30:30,969
All you gotta do is rotate, baby.

818
00:30:41,413 --> 00:30:44,249
What the hell is going on up there?

819
00:30:44,250 --> 00:30:46,784
What is that? What is that, incense?

820
00:30:46,785 --> 00:30:49,286
Yeah, that's incense, brother.

821
00:30:49,287 --> 00:30:52,323
You don't burn incense
in someone else's house.

822
00:30:52,324 --> 00:30:55,838
It's like cooking fish or
smoking a cigar. It's a violation.

823
00:30:55,839 --> 00:30:58,640
What the hell are they doing?

824
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:07,215
Hi. Is Ernst here?

825
00:31:07,216 --> 00:31:08,682
And Valentina.

826
00:31:09,719 --> 00:31:11,786
- Upstairs.
- Great.

827
00:31:11,787 --> 00:31:13,622
Ooh, lovely home.

828
00:31:13,623 --> 00:31:16,291
Yeah. Yeah, really nice.

829
00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:18,459
Thanks for your hospitality.

830
00:31:26,401 --> 00:31:28,202
- Hell-o.
- Hi.

831
00:31:35,744 --> 00:31:38,279
They're swinging! They're swinging!

832
00:32:13,180 --> 00:32:15,881
Whoo!

833
00:32:15,882 --> 00:32:17,850
You're a funny guy, man.

834
00:32:17,851 --> 00:32:19,619
You got all this sexual shit going on,

835
00:32:19,620 --> 00:32:21,621
I'm in the guesthouse chilling,
you don't tell me about it?

836
00:32:21,622 --> 00:32:24,524
- How many people were here?
- 15, at least.

837
00:32:24,525 --> 00:32:25,958
Well, why'd you let it go on?

838
00:32:25,959 --> 00:32:27,759
I thought you were in
on it! I didn't know!

839
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:28,928
Have you lost your mind?

840
00:32:28,929 --> 00:32:30,429
You think I knew what was going on here?

841
00:32:30,430 --> 00:32:32,431
I thought maybe you
were... were sleepfuckin'.

842
00:32:32,432 --> 00:32:34,066
- I don't know.
- Sleepfuckin'?

843
00:32:34,067 --> 00:32:35,701
Yeah. You know, subconsciously,

844
00:32:35,702 --> 00:32:38,938
your brain is fuckin',
but your conscious mind...

845
00:32:38,939 --> 00:32:40,772
I don't think I was sleepfuckin'.

846
00:32:40,773 --> 00:32:43,442
I have a hard enough time
wakefuckin'. How am I gonna sleepfuck?

847
00:32:43,443 --> 00:32:45,377
- Cousins are gone?
- Everybody left.

848
00:32:45,378 --> 00:32:47,846
All right, look, I got paintball today.

849
00:32:47,847 --> 00:32:49,147
We gotta get this place cleaned up.

850
00:32:49,148 --> 00:32:50,649
I can't deal with this today.

851
00:32:50,650 --> 00:32:51,816
Okay, I'll do it.

852
00:32:55,221 --> 00:32:58,323
They ransacked the fridge and
broke the goddamn Jacuzzi, too.

853
00:32:58,324 --> 00:33:00,458
- Bastards.
- What are you doing?

854
00:33:00,459 --> 00:33:03,094
Last time I wore these pants,
F. Murray outfit tracked me.

855
00:33:03,095 --> 00:33:05,463
I can't wear them around him
anymore. My favorite pants.

856
00:33:05,464 --> 00:33:07,431
- That's crazy, man.
- I'm so pissed.

857
00:33:07,432 --> 00:33:09,234
Just wear those.

858
00:33:09,235 --> 00:33:10,801
- These?
- Those are nice.

859
00:33:10,802 --> 00:33:12,469
Fine.

860
00:33:13,839 --> 00:33:15,639
Jesus, I'm so goddamn late.

861
00:33:17,642 --> 00:33:19,777
Josh, I love you. You're
gonna get fuckin' shellacked

862
00:33:19,778 --> 00:33:21,078
if you're dancing out there.

863
00:33:21,079 --> 00:33:23,146
We're out here playing paintball, man!

864
00:33:23,147 --> 00:33:25,549
I go for the big dog.

865
00:33:26,885 --> 00:33:28,853
I actually upgraded mine.

866
00:33:28,854 --> 00:33:30,987
Are you guys getting bitten up?

867
00:33:33,291 --> 00:33:35,625
- Hey. This is amazing.
- Hey!

868
00:33:35,626 --> 00:33:39,796
Yeah, uh, first of all,
so glad to see you here.

869
00:33:39,797 --> 00:33:41,231
You did it. You did this.

870
00:33:41,232 --> 00:33:44,601
I did, but something
did occur to me, though,

871
00:33:44,602 --> 00:33:46,103
um, however.

872
00:33:46,104 --> 00:33:49,639
Uh, if you had taken that commercial,

873
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,474
the gross would have been 1,200,

874
00:33:51,475 --> 00:33:56,078
but the net would have been, like, 700.

875
00:33:56,079 --> 00:33:57,514
Maybe 750.

876
00:33:57,515 --> 00:33:59,248
Yeah, something like that.

877
00:34:00,484 --> 00:34:02,552
I'm actually...

878
00:34:02,553 --> 00:34:04,654
kind of losing money on this deal.

879
00:34:04,655 --> 00:34:07,790
'Cause if you were only gonna make $700,

880
00:34:07,791 --> 00:34:09,992
and I gave you 1,200,

881
00:34:09,993 --> 00:34:14,297
you know, it kind of feels
like you owe me... 500.

882
00:34:14,298 --> 00:34:16,065
Am I wrong?

883
00:34:16,066 --> 00:34:17,833
- Larry, you gave me this gift.
- Yes.

884
00:34:17,834 --> 00:34:19,969
- I called you a prince.
- I am a prince.

885
00:34:19,970 --> 00:34:23,104
Now you're asking me for
a portion of the gift back.

886
00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:25,106
You're making a profit off this!

887
00:34:25,107 --> 00:34:26,809
I'm gonna call you a prick.

888
00:34:26,810 --> 00:34:29,311
With all due respect, you are the prick.

889
00:34:29,312 --> 00:34:31,012
For accepting your gift?

890
00:34:31,013 --> 00:34:33,148
It shouldn't be a gift, though.
I'm not giving you a gift.

891
00:34:33,149 --> 00:34:35,484
- Wait, hang on, hang on.
- I'm not FICA.

892
00:34:35,485 --> 00:34:36,919
I paid you the gross,

893
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,321
and I should have paid you the net.

894
00:34:39,322 --> 00:34:41,389
Why do you keep hiking your britches up?

895
00:34:41,390 --> 00:34:43,391
Because I couldn't wear the
same pants two days in a row

896
00:34:43,392 --> 00:34:45,160
because I got an outfit tracker here,

897
00:34:45,161 --> 00:34:47,695
so I had to take these pants,
and they're too big on me,

898
00:34:47,696 --> 00:34:49,730
and I didn't have time to put a belt on!

899
00:34:49,731 --> 00:34:51,598
I'm not giving you the money back.

900
00:34:54,103 --> 00:34:56,337
Have fun today, Larry.

901
00:34:56,338 --> 00:34:57,972
I'm not the bad guy here!

902
00:34:57,973 --> 00:35:01,275
I'm... I'm losing... uh...

903
00:35:01,276 --> 00:35:03,377
I... I'm not the bad guy.

904
00:35:03,378 --> 00:35:04,712
- Hey, Lar.
- Hey, Carly.

905
00:35:04,713 --> 00:35:05,980
- How you doing?
- Good.

906
00:35:05,981 --> 00:35:08,850
Larry, could I have a
word with you, please?

907
00:35:08,851 --> 00:35:11,218
If it isn't Big Murray. Hey.
You know what, Big Murray?

908
00:35:11,219 --> 00:35:14,254
'Cause of you, I couldn't wear
my favorite gray corduroys,

909
00:35:14,255 --> 00:35:16,656
and now I'm wearing pants
that are way too big for me.

910
00:35:16,657 --> 00:35:20,027
That's what I wanted to talk to you
about... that scene in the kitchen.

911
00:35:20,028 --> 00:35:21,295
Funny, huh?

912
00:35:21,296 --> 00:35:23,464
Well, it was a little insulting to me.

913
00:35:23,465 --> 00:35:26,233
Why? Nobody knows you're the
one who outfit tracked me.

914
00:35:26,234 --> 00:35:28,468
Oh, you make me very uncomfortable.

915
00:35:28,469 --> 00:35:31,270
- You know, you're judging me.
- I wasn't judging you.

916
00:35:31,271 --> 00:35:33,607
It felt like it was a thin
disguise for insulting me.

917
00:35:33,608 --> 00:35:36,576
No. I would insult you right
to your face, Big Murray.

918
00:35:36,577 --> 00:35:39,112
That's what I would think, that
you should insult me to my face,

919
00:35:39,113 --> 00:35:41,581
but the problem is, now I feel like

920
00:35:41,582 --> 00:35:43,717
I'm being tracked
because of what you did.

921
00:35:43,718 --> 00:35:46,252
I can't get up in the morning
anymore without thinking,

922
00:35:46,253 --> 00:35:49,489
"Oh, gotta be careful.
Big Larry's watching you."

923
00:35:49,490 --> 00:35:51,924
Big Larry is not tracking Big Murray.

924
00:35:51,925 --> 00:35:54,060
Big Larry is tracking Big Murray.

925
00:35:54,061 --> 00:35:57,563
Big Larry has better things
to do than track Big Murray.

926
00:35:57,564 --> 00:35:58,998
Then why are you writing it all down?

927
00:35:58,999 --> 00:36:00,733
Hey, Larry, can I talk to you a second?

928
00:36:00,734 --> 00:36:02,367
- Excuse me, Murray. I'm sorry.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

929
00:36:02,368 --> 00:36:04,236
Be careful what you say
around this guy, huh?

930
00:36:04,237 --> 00:36:06,071
He's a Murray tracker!

931
00:36:06,072 --> 00:36:08,473
There's your outfit
tracker, right there.

932
00:36:08,474 --> 00:36:11,076
Hey, what's this I hear about you
asking Cody Gutcher for his money back?

933
00:36:11,077 --> 00:36:13,345
Yeah, I asked Cody Gutcher
for my money back, yeah.

934
00:36:13,346 --> 00:36:15,748
But not all of it. Just
the money he owed me.

935
00:36:15,749 --> 00:36:18,783
Cody Gutcher is one of the best
company managers in the fuckin' country!

936
00:36:18,784 --> 00:36:20,852
We almost lost him to "Spring
Awakening," and we have him!

937
00:36:20,853 --> 00:36:22,921
I don't give a shit if Cody
Gutcher goes to "Spring Awakening!"

938
00:36:22,922 --> 00:36:25,223
I'm nice enough to give him $1,200,

939
00:36:25,224 --> 00:36:27,325
and he steals 450 of it!

940
00:36:27,326 --> 00:36:30,295
You're nice enough to do the
gesture. Finish the gesture.

941
00:36:30,296 --> 00:36:32,864
I did finish the gesture, then I
was expecting a gesture from him!

942
00:36:32,865 --> 00:36:35,066
No. "Here's a gesture. Where's
my gesture back, motherfucker?!"

943
00:36:35,067 --> 00:36:36,534
That's your version of a gesture?

944
00:36:36,535 --> 00:36:38,069
You got something off
your chest. Are you happy?

945
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:39,804
- Yeah.
- I got something on my chest, okay?

946
00:36:39,805 --> 00:36:40,704
Go for it.

947
00:36:40,705 --> 00:36:43,307
Valentina Miranda and her husband Ernst,

948
00:36:43,308 --> 00:36:45,376
who I was generous enough
to let stay in my house...

949
00:36:45,377 --> 00:36:47,545
Yeah, and I said, "Thank you."

950
00:36:47,546 --> 00:36:49,814
- They're swingers.
- Yeah, I know.

951
00:36:49,815 --> 00:36:51,882
You know they're swingers,
you don't tell me?!

952
00:36:51,883 --> 00:36:53,917
I told you they were
an interesting couple.

953
00:36:53,918 --> 00:36:55,119
"Interesting" is not "swinging!"

954
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,753
I was there when you met them.

955
00:36:56,754 --> 00:36:58,956
You said, "Make yourself at
home. Stay as long as you want."

956
00:36:58,957 --> 00:37:01,792
- So they entertained.
- Entertained?! That's playing mah-jongg!

957
00:37:01,793 --> 00:37:04,295
This was like a Roman
orgy, like Caligula!

958
00:37:04,296 --> 00:37:06,136
You know what you do
in someone else's house?

959
00:37:06,137 --> 00:37:07,731
- What?
- You tiptoe.

960
00:37:07,732 --> 00:37:10,433
You say please, you say
thank you, you clean up.

961
00:37:10,434 --> 00:37:12,069
"May I use your refrigerator?"

962
00:37:12,070 --> 00:37:15,072
Guests tiptoe! That's what you do!

963
00:37:15,073 --> 00:37:17,608
Oh, no, I wanna have fun at
the fuckin' Larry David house.

964
00:37:17,609 --> 00:37:20,010
Tiptoe and play mah-jongg,
that's your idea of fuckin' fun.

965
00:37:20,011 --> 00:37:21,745
You should've seen. They
trashed the whole house!

966
00:37:21,746 --> 00:37:25,848
And you know what else?
They broke my curtain remote!

967
00:37:25,849 --> 00:37:28,651
- What the fuck's a curtain remote?
- A curtain remote?

968
00:37:28,652 --> 00:37:32,021
It opens and closes, opens
and closes the curtains!

969
00:37:32,022 --> 00:37:33,590
Who needs a curtain remote?

970
00:37:33,591 --> 00:37:35,558
You fuckin' do this! That's
how you open a curtain!

971
00:37:35,559 --> 00:37:36,993
You've obviously never
used a curtain remote.

972
00:37:36,994 --> 00:37:38,928
Who would need one? It's a curtain!

973
00:37:38,929 --> 00:37:40,663
It's a good thing! It's a fun thing!

974
00:37:40,664 --> 00:37:43,032
If you ever did it, you
wouldn't even think about it!

975
00:37:43,033 --> 00:37:44,366
Well, I'm never coming to your house,

976
00:37:44,367 --> 00:37:45,700
'cause I don't want to tiptoe around

977
00:37:45,701 --> 00:37:47,636
and maybe get refrigerator privileges!

978
00:37:47,637 --> 00:37:49,638
You gesture-rescinding motherfucker!

979
00:37:49,639 --> 00:37:52,440
That's right. That's right.

980
00:37:52,441 --> 00:37:55,744
At least I don't have cousins
who are sex degenerates!

981
00:37:57,546 --> 00:37:59,247
- What'd you say about my family?
- You Mirandas!

982
00:37:59,248 --> 00:38:01,149
You don't give proper "thank yous,"

983
00:38:01,150 --> 00:38:02,983
you don't give proper "sorrys,"

984
00:38:02,984 --> 00:38:04,885
and you're a bunch of sex perverts!

985
00:38:04,886 --> 00:38:07,622
Oh!

986
00:38:07,623 --> 00:38:09,557
You've besmirched the
honor of my family,

987
00:38:09,558 --> 00:38:11,458
and I demand satisfaction.

988
00:38:12,727 --> 00:38:16,230
Satisfaction... you shall have.

989
00:38:19,934 --> 00:38:22,435
It's a duel.

990
00:38:22,436 --> 00:38:25,039
These proceedings shall
fall under the auspices

991
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,642
of the Code Duello... Irish version.

992
00:38:28,643 --> 00:38:31,444
I'm given to understand
that one of the gentlemen

993
00:38:31,445 --> 00:38:34,114
has perceived a slight
and demands satisfaction.

994
00:38:34,115 --> 00:38:35,782
That's correct.

995
00:38:35,783 --> 00:38:38,351
This is your final chance
to offer an apology,

996
00:38:38,352 --> 00:38:39,986
thereby saving face.

997
00:38:39,987 --> 00:38:41,821
No apology is forthcoming.

998
00:38:41,822 --> 00:38:44,090
Very well. We shall proceed.

999
00:38:44,091 --> 00:38:45,824
Gentlemen, choose your weapon.

1000
00:38:50,364 --> 00:38:55,001
Will anyone present stand as
the second to the offended party?

1001
00:38:55,002 --> 00:38:56,268
I will.

1002
00:38:56,269 --> 00:38:57,804
Will anyone present stand forth

1003
00:38:57,805 --> 00:38:59,839
as the second to the transgressor?

1004
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,241
I will.

1005
00:39:02,242 --> 00:39:04,410
Swell.

1006
00:39:04,411 --> 00:39:06,946
If the principals would
please hand their weapons

1007
00:39:06,947 --> 00:39:08,347
to their seconds

1008
00:39:08,348 --> 00:39:11,483
to be inspected and
loaded with one projectile.

1009
00:39:11,484 --> 00:39:13,819
- I don't know how to do this.
- What?

1010
00:39:13,820 --> 00:39:16,188
Why'd you volunteer for second if
you don't know what you're doing?

1011
00:39:16,189 --> 00:39:18,824
I'm from Newport Beach. I've
never loaded a gun before.

1012
00:39:18,825 --> 00:39:20,426
Give me the paintball.

1013
00:39:20,427 --> 00:39:22,894
- That's it. There's nothing to it.
- Sorry.

1014
00:39:22,895 --> 00:39:25,963
Very well. Please stand back-to-back.

1015
00:39:30,336 --> 00:39:32,204
Gentlemen, on my count,

1016
00:39:32,205 --> 00:39:35,340
you will proceed to walk ten paces,

1017
00:39:35,341 --> 00:39:36,875
at which point you will turn,

1018
00:39:36,876 --> 00:39:39,844
aim your weapons, and fire.

1019
00:39:42,147 --> 00:39:45,182
And ten, nine...

1020
00:39:50,689 --> 00:39:54,324
...eight, seven...

1021
00:39:57,429 --> 00:40:00,197
...six, five,

1022
00:40:00,198 --> 00:40:03,333
four, three,

1023
00:40:03,334 --> 00:40:05,702
two, one!

1024
00:40:07,839 --> 00:40:11,075
- Lin!
- Oh, my God! It's in his mouth!

1025
00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:14,044
- Come on, Larry.
- It was... it was an accident!

1026
00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:15,746
I was gonna fire in the air!

1027
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:18,448
Aaron Burr!

1028
00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:21,151
- Aaron Burr!
- I'm not Aaron Burr!

1029
00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:23,185
- No, no, no!
- Lin!

1030
00:40:31,461 --> 00:40:33,763
Where the fuck is he? He
says he was gonna be here!

1031
00:40:33,764 --> 00:40:35,799
- I don't know.
- I'm gonna fucking kill him.

1032
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:39,002
Family, friends, and loved ones,

1033
00:40:39,003 --> 00:40:41,104
we are gathered here today to celebrate

1034
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,639
one of life's greatest moments...

1035
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:48,010
the joining of two lives in
this union we call marriage.

1036
00:40:48,011 --> 00:40:50,680
Victor and Sammi have asked you today

1037
00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:52,181
to be here to bear witness

1038
00:40:52,182 --> 00:40:53,982
and to offer your love and support

1039
00:40:53,983 --> 00:40:57,586
as they embark on this
next chapter of their lives.

1040
00:40:57,587 --> 00:41:01,324
Victor, we would be remiss if we
didn't thank you for your service.

1041
00:41:01,325 --> 00:41:06,128
Now, please take each
other's hands for your vows.

1042
00:41:06,129 --> 00:41:09,228
Victor, do you take
Sammi to be your wife?

1043
00:41:09,229 --> 00:41:10,299
I do.

1044
00:41:10,300 --> 00:41:12,301
Do you commit yourself to her happiness

1045
00:41:12,302 --> 00:41:15,202
and self-fulfillment as a person?

1046
00:41:16,439 --> 00:41:18,506
I... I do. I do.

1047
00:41:18,507 --> 00:41:19,704
Do you promise to love...

1048
00:41:19,705 --> 00:41:22,076
All right, enough,
enough. Excuse me, miss.

1049
00:41:22,077 --> 00:41:23,645
- Out. You gotta go.
- What? What?

1050
00:41:23,646 --> 00:41:24,912
Get the hell outta here.

1051
00:41:24,913 --> 00:41:26,681
- And cover up!
- What?

1052
00:41:26,682 --> 00:41:28,115
Sorry, everybody.

1053
00:41:28,116 --> 00:41:30,552
It had to be done. We'll just continue.

1054
00:41:30,553 --> 00:41:33,221
C-Continue. Continue.

1055
00:41:35,290 --> 00:41:37,258
I'm not Burr. I'm not Burr.

1056
00:41:37,259 --> 00:41:38,659
I was gonna fire in the air!

1057
00:41:38,660 --> 00:41:39,994
You shot right at me, Larry.

1058
00:41:39,995 --> 00:41:41,395
No, it's Murray's fault,

1059
00:41:41,396 --> 00:41:42,864
because he was outfit tracking me

1060
00:41:42,865 --> 00:41:44,398
and I had to put on a
different pair of pants,

1061
00:41:44,399 --> 00:41:45,933
and they were too big
for me and they fell.

1062
00:41:45,934 --> 00:41:48,069
Anyway, I'm so sorry.

1063
00:41:48,070 --> 00:41:50,338
I'm really, really sorry.

1064
00:41:50,339 --> 00:41:53,440
Really... truly sorry.

1065
00:41:53,441 --> 00:41:55,609
- That's a pretty good apology.
- Really?

1066
00:41:55,610 --> 00:41:58,445
- It's commensurate with the offense.
- Yes?

1067
00:41:58,446 --> 00:42:01,682
Do you wanna apologize for
falling asleep during "Hamilton"?

1068
00:42:01,683 --> 00:42:02,474
Oh!

1069
00:42:02,475 --> 00:42:04,752
My wife told me you were
practically on her shoulder.

1070
00:42:04,753 --> 00:42:06,387
Okay, what happened was,

1071
00:42:06,388 --> 00:42:08,955
I had a pain pill in my
pocket that Jeff gave me,

1072
00:42:08,956 --> 00:42:11,557
because I injured my
shoulder wrestling with you.

1073
00:42:11,558 --> 00:42:13,226
So in a way, you're a little...

1074
00:42:13,227 --> 00:42:15,028
I'm at fault for you
sleeping through my show?

1075
00:42:15,029 --> 00:42:16,462
I did see part of the show.

1076
00:42:16,463 --> 00:42:18,731
I have to say, I loved
it. It was terrific.

1077
00:42:18,732 --> 00:42:21,167
- Thank you.
- ♪ My name is Alexander Hamilton... ♪

1078
00:42:21,168 --> 00:42:22,869
I didn't see the end of the first act.

1079
00:42:22,870 --> 00:42:24,371
♪ And there's a million
things I haven't... ♪

1080
00:42:24,372 --> 00:42:25,638
- That's the very first song.
- Yeah.

1081
00:42:25,639 --> 00:42:27,172
- I'm gonna go back.
- Okay.

1082
00:42:27,173 --> 00:42:28,741
Any chance you could, uh...

1083
00:42:28,742 --> 00:42:30,943
I have to see what they
say, if they have tickets.

1084
00:42:30,944 --> 00:42:32,072
Two tickets. What's the...

1085
00:42:32,073 --> 00:42:34,213
I don't run the ticket
office, Larry David.

1086
00:42:34,214 --> 00:42:36,649
Make a phone call. What do
you mean? You wrote the show.

1087
00:42:36,650 --> 00:42:38,317
Oh, my God.

1088
00:42:38,318 --> 00:42:40,085
Hey, hey, you're spitting on me!

1089
00:42:40,086 --> 00:42:42,722
- Cover your mouth when you cough.
- Man, fuck you.

1090
00:42:42,723 --> 00:42:44,689
Oh, my God.

1091
00:42:44,690 --> 00:42:47,326
I gotta get to Jeff's
daughter's wedding!

1092
00:42:47,327 --> 00:42:48,693
- I'm late!
- What?

1093
00:42:48,694 --> 00:42:50,429
Yes, yeah, I'm speaking there! Hey!

1094
00:42:50,430 --> 00:42:52,164
- Driver.
- Hey, what the...

1095
00:42:52,165 --> 00:42:55,600
Can we make a quick stop?
It's just at that light.

1096
00:42:55,601 --> 00:42:57,069
It's about a half a mile
and you go up the hill.

1097
00:42:57,070 --> 00:42:59,071
And you can drop me
off. It's two minutes.

1098
00:42:59,072 --> 00:43:00,906
No. This is not no fuckin' Uber.

1099
00:43:00,907 --> 00:43:03,341
We gotta get this man to
the hospital. He's injured.

1100
00:43:03,342 --> 00:43:06,044
It's gonna be a lot worse for
me. You don't know this woman.

1101
00:43:06,045 --> 00:43:09,347
Fuck that woman! And fuck
her wedding. Get in the back.

1102
00:43:09,348 --> 00:43:10,882
- Okay.
- Fuck!

1103
00:43:10,883 --> 00:43:12,784
Somebody strap him in!

1104
00:43:16,088 --> 00:43:19,324
Oh, yeah. Wait a second.

1105
00:43:19,325 --> 00:43:21,326
Wait a second, Charlie.

1106
00:43:21,327 --> 00:43:22,961
Who are you calling, Larry?

1107
00:43:22,962 --> 00:43:24,628
This woman I met in a bar.

1108
00:43:24,629 --> 00:43:27,731
You're trying to get laid
on the way to the hospital?

1109
00:43:27,732 --> 00:43:30,468
Hey, Marie. It's Larry David.

1110
00:43:30,469 --> 00:43:31,970
Remember, I met you in the bar

1111
00:43:31,971 --> 00:43:34,638
and you came and sat
at the table with us?

1112
00:43:34,639 --> 00:43:36,874
Hey, I got a job for you.

1113
00:43:46,585 --> 00:43:49,819
Jeffrey, where's Larry?
He's still not here?

1114
00:43:49,820 --> 00:43:52,022
- I don't know.
- But we have to start the speeches.

1115
00:43:52,023 --> 00:43:53,056
Well, start the speeches!

1116
00:43:53,057 --> 00:43:54,924
Get the fuck outta my face!

1117
00:43:54,925 --> 00:43:57,194
Go away! Do the... the patrons.

1118
00:43:57,195 --> 00:44:00,397
- What are you doing?
- Go do your job somewhere. Go!

1119
00:44:00,398 --> 00:44:02,232
Jeff, can you call him again?

1120
00:44:02,233 --> 00:44:04,334
I'm not trying him again. I
called him, he didn't answer.

1121
00:44:04,335 --> 00:44:06,636
I'm here. Hi. Sorry I'm late.

1122
00:44:06,637 --> 00:44:08,204
Oh, I'm Marie from the restaurant.

1123
00:44:08,205 --> 00:44:10,473
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- What are you doing here?

1124
00:44:10,474 --> 00:44:12,208
Hi. Larry couldn't be here...

1125
00:44:12,209 --> 00:44:14,443
...but he asked me to stand in.

1126
00:44:14,444 --> 00:44:17,246
And don't worry, I have his speech.

1127
00:44:22,419 --> 00:44:24,887
"Hi. I'm Larry David."

1128
00:44:24,888 --> 00:44:26,155
Oh, no.

1129
00:44:26,156 --> 00:44:29,125
Her name's Marie. Larry rents her.

1130
00:44:29,126 --> 00:44:32,528
"And I just want to say how
thrilled I am to be here today,

1131
00:44:32,529 --> 00:44:34,830
and I am especially
honored to have been asked

1132
00:44:34,831 --> 00:44:38,067
to speak at this blessed event.

1133
00:44:38,068 --> 00:44:41,302
I have known Sammi... _

1134
00:44:41,303 --> 00:44:44,439
for her entire life, and frankly, I
don't even think she likes me very much.

1135
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,010
But I'm pretty sure I feel
that way about everybody.

1136
00:44:48,011 --> 00:44:50,812
Sammi, I wish I had advice to offer you

1137
00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:53,281
on how to have a successful marriage,

1138
00:44:53,282 --> 00:44:55,816
but I'll just offer you two words:

1139
00:44:55,817 --> 00:44:57,585
- separate bathrooms."
- Separate bathrooms.

1140
00:44:57,586 --> 00:44:59,620
Okay, that's fine. Thank you very much.

1141
00:44:59,621 --> 00:45:01,896
So, Sammi and... what's
your name again, sir?

1142
00:45:01,897 --> 00:45:03,124
Thank you very much.

1143
00:45:03,125 --> 00:45:04,426
- Victor.
- Oh, Victor!

1144
00:45:04,427 --> 00:45:06,694
You need to be going
right now. Thank you.

1145
00:45:06,695 --> 00:45:08,189
I'm sorry, everyone...

1146
00:45:08,190 --> 00:45:09,431
Susie, can I, for my
reel, get a copy of that?

1147
00:45:09,432 --> 00:45:10,465
Yeah, good-bye.

1148
00:45:10,466 --> 00:45:12,567
Enjoy... uh, enjoy

1149
00:45:12,568 --> 00:45:15,334
the rest of the... party.

1150
00:45:21,877 --> 00:45:24,579
I talked to Lin's doctors.

1151
00:45:24,580 --> 00:45:27,281
They said he'll be fine
in about six months.

1152
00:45:27,282 --> 00:45:29,983
But he's moving on to other projects.

1153
00:45:29,984 --> 00:45:32,986
He's done. "Fatwa!" is over.

1154
00:45:32,987 --> 00:45:35,155
Our investments are gone.

1155
00:45:35,156 --> 00:45:37,657
Lewis lost money, Danson lost money.

1156
00:45:37,658 --> 00:45:39,859
I lost a ton, okay?

1157
00:45:39,860 --> 00:45:42,796
I told all these ladies I was
a big-time Broadway producer.

1158
00:45:42,797 --> 00:45:44,731
Now I ain't shit.

1159
00:45:44,732 --> 00:45:46,265
So how much did we lose, Jeffrey?

1160
00:45:46,266 --> 00:45:48,434
We lost a lot of money.

1161
00:45:48,435 --> 00:45:50,369
We're... we're gonna
have to sell the house.

1162
00:45:50,370 --> 00:45:53,672
We are not selling that fuckin' house.

1163
00:45:55,810 --> 00:45:58,711
Didn't you wear that sweater yesterday?

1164
00:46:00,982 --> 00:46:02,715
What did you say?

1165
00:46:02,716 --> 00:46:04,783
What the fuck did you just say?

1166
00:46:04,784 --> 00:46:06,385
Well, don't get so excited. It was...

1167
00:46:06,386 --> 00:46:08,020
Yeah, I wore this sweater yesterday.

1168
00:46:08,021 --> 00:46:10,456
So what? What, are
you outfit tracking me?

1169
00:46:10,457 --> 00:46:13,459
I'm not outfit tracking you.
I asked you a simple question.

1170
00:46:13,460 --> 00:46:15,761
Sure sounds like you're
outfit tracking. So what?

1171
00:46:15,762 --> 00:46:18,764
I didn't work out in it. I wasn't on the
subway. I didn't go in public toilets.

1172
00:46:18,765 --> 00:46:20,833
The sweater's clean. You can
wear a sweater two days in a row.

1173
00:46:20,834 --> 00:46:22,835
It's not a shirt. I don't
wear a shirt two days in a row.

1174
00:46:22,836 --> 00:46:25,237
- It's just a sweater.
- What are you, a fuckin' lunatic?

1175
00:46:25,238 --> 00:46:27,072
You're an outfit tracker
and I don't like it!

1176
00:46:27,073 --> 00:46:29,141
You can wear the same
sweater two days in a... oh!

1177
00:46:29,142 --> 00:46:31,610
Here's your fruit salad
and your veggie burger.

1178
00:46:31,611 --> 00:46:35,347
Oh, veggie burger. Beautiful,
beautiful. Thank you.

1179
00:46:35,348 --> 00:46:37,749
Hello?

1180
00:46:37,750 --> 00:46:38,916
Where's my food?

1181
00:46:38,917 --> 00:46:41,819
Aw. We'll start.

1182
00:46:41,820 --> 00:46:44,022
Mmm. This is fantastic!

1183
00:46:44,023 --> 00:46:45,757
Mmm!

1184
00:46:45,758 --> 00:46:46,790
Great!

1185
00:46:50,496 --> 00:46:54,598
♪ For a spoonful of sugar ♪

1186
00:46:54,599 --> 00:46:57,334
♪ Helps the medicine go down ♪

1187
00:46:57,335 --> 00:46:59,470
♪ The medicine go down ♪

1188
00:46:59,471 --> 00:47:01,005
♪ The medicine go down ♪

1189
00:47:01,006 --> 00:47:04,441
- ♪ For a spoonful of sugar... ♪
- Hey! Hey!

1190
00:47:04,442 --> 00:47:06,610
I know who you are.

1191
00:47:06,611 --> 00:47:10,480
Yeah. You're Larry David.

1192
00:47:11,616 --> 00:47:14,685
No, no, no...

1193
00:47:14,686 --> 00:47:16,453
The fatwa's... the fatwa's over!

1194
00:47:16,454 --> 00:47:18,155
- They called the fatwa off!
- I don't believe you!

1195
00:47:18,156 --> 00:47:20,291
You're a liar! You're a blasphemer!

1196
00:47:20,292 --> 00:47:22,393
No! No! Didn't they tell you?

1197
00:47:22,394 --> 00:47:25,028
No! No, it's true! They called it off!

1198
00:47:25,029 --> 00:47:26,462
No! No!

1199
00:47:26,463 --> 00:47:28,498
- They... they called it off!
- Stop! Stop!

1200
00:47:28,499 --> 00:47:29,499
No! No!

1201
00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:32,335
Larry David, I am gonna kill you!

1202
00:47:32,336 --> 00:47:33,570
It's over!

1203
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:40,100
Subtitle sync and corrections by
<font color="#FF0000"><b>awaqeded</b></font> for <font color="#FF0000"><b>www.addic7ed.com.</b></font>