1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:03,845
[adult Sheldon] Previously on
Young Sheldon...
2
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:04,880
[Dr. Linkletter]
Hello, Mrs. Cooper.
3
00:00:04,881 --> 00:00:07,717
I just want to let you know,
with Dr. Sturgis away,
4
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,178
I'll be available
should Sheldon need anything.
5
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,223
Now, I'm not terribly
experienced around children.
6
00:00:13,306 --> 00:00:16,184
If he needs to use the restroom,
I don't have to go in with him, do I?
7
00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:18,853
I don't need you to babysit me.
8
00:00:18,937 --> 00:00:20,480
I'm perfectly self-reliant.
9
00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:22,923
Then it's good I kept the receipt
for this bottle of bubbles
10
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:24,150
shaped like a bear.
11
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:27,278
Welcome to the world of philosophy.
12
00:00:27,362 --> 00:00:28,738
I'm going to teach you
13
00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:31,366
that you don't even know
what you think you know.
14
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,284
Oh, boy.
15
00:00:33,368 --> 00:00:34,994
I'm not going to school.
16
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:35,994
Why not?
17
00:00:35,995 --> 00:00:37,331
Because I don't know what's real.
18
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:39,999
Nothing matters.
19
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:41,875
George?
20
00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,591
All right. What's the problem here?
21
00:00:48,675 --> 00:00:50,218
I don't know what's real.
22
00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:52,321
Well, it's a fun thing to think about
on the way to school.
23
00:00:52,345 --> 00:00:53,345
Get up and get dressed.
24
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,056
Maybe I'm already dressed.
25
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:57,475
Maybe I'm wearing a zoot suit and spats.
26
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,770
That's a shoe covering
that's short for spatterdasher.
27
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:02,105
Or is it?
28
00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:03,314
There's no way to know.
29
00:01:03,398 --> 00:01:05,598
Here's what I know.
I don't have time for this nonsense.
30
00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:06,776
[Sheldon] What is time?
31
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,945
What is sense? What is "is"?
32
00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:10,822
Sheldon, I mean it.
33
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,699
I remember when things meant things.
34
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,386
All right, I'm gonna count to three.
One...
35
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:17,537
Believing in numbers,
that takes me back.
36
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,081
- Two.
- "To be or not to be."
37
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:21,791
Shakespeare was onto something.
38
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,251
This is your last chance.
39
00:01:24,002 --> 00:01:25,682
Have you ever wondered
if you're the tongue
40
00:01:25,712 --> 00:01:27,773
of a multidimensional being,
trying to taste something
41
00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:29,424
you can never even understand?
42
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:31,466
I have.
43
00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:37,807
I talked to him.
44
00:01:39,017 --> 00:01:40,101
Where is your mother?
45
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,352
She had to leave for work.
46
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,021
I have to work, too.
47
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,897
You also get to take me to school.
48
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,959
What am I supposed to do
about your brother?
49
00:01:46,983 --> 00:01:49,444
Call me old-fashioned,
but I say spank him.
50
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:51,279
Your mom won't let me.
51
00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:54,365
[theme song playing]
52
00:02:10,757 --> 00:02:13,760
Okay, I'm here. What's up?
53
00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:15,672
Sheldon won't get out of bed
54
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,531
and I'm gonna be late for work,
he's going to be late for school.
55
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,849
So you want me
to get him up and drive him?
56
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:20,932
Yeah.
57
00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:24,103
I like it better when I just
come eat your food and leave.
58
00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:28,941
Hey, Moonpie. What's going on here?
59
00:02:29,025 --> 00:02:30,568
That's an excellent question.
60
00:02:30,652 --> 00:02:31,736
Too bad there's no answer.
61
00:02:32,278 --> 00:02:33,464
Well, you need to get out of bed.
62
00:02:33,488 --> 00:02:34,947
I don't need to do anything.
63
00:02:35,448 --> 00:02:36,949
Okay. I'm gonna count to three.
64
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:38,660
Dad already counted to three.
65
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:40,118
Oh.
66
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:42,372
Did he try the Texas thing?
67
00:02:42,455 --> 00:02:43,413
No.
68
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:44,414
In that case...
69
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,919
Look at you lying there.
70
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,963
When a Texan gets knocked off a horse,
he gets right back on.
71
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:54,467
That is the second most important thing
about being a Texan,
72
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:57,136
right after thinking
you're better than everybody else.
73
00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:02,141
Maybe the horse gets back on the Texan.
Who's to say?
74
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,436
I don't know what that means.
75
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,146
That's because you can't know anything.
76
00:03:09,649 --> 00:03:11,150
If you need to stare at the ceiling
77
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,236
and contemplate the futility
of existence,
78
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,570
Missy's bed is available.
79
00:03:17,949 --> 00:03:18,949
Amazing.
80
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:20,325
What is?
81
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:23,162
I've been using the same pen
for seven months
82
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,372
and it's still going.
83
00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:26,124
That's your bar for amazing?
84
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,208
Yep.
85
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,627
Sad.
86
00:03:29,711 --> 00:03:30,753
It's the same pen.
87
00:03:30,837 --> 00:03:33,548
- [telephone ringing]
- It is too early in the morning for you.
88
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:35,925
Hello.
89
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,136
Yeah, I'll be down in a bit.
90
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,265
Where are you headed?
91
00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:43,433
Principal's office.
92
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,935
Ooh, you're in trouble.
93
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,228
You're a child.
94
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,439
[laughs] I'd rather be a child
than in trouble.
95
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:54,485
Shelly, Dr. Sturgis
is on the line for you.
96
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,780
Maybe he is, maybe he isn't,
but very well.
97
00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,866
- Hello?
- Hi, Sheldon.
98
00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:03,578
I hear you're going through
some sort of existential crisis.
99
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,037
I suppose so.
100
00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:07,498
I just don't know
if we can tell what's real or not,
101
00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:08,791
and if nothing's real,
102
00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:11,169
I don't know what to think
or if I'm even thinking at all.
103
00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:14,172
I went through something similar once.
104
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:16,466
Really? What happened?
105
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:21,763
I was trekking through the Amazon
and I saw two frogs,
106
00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:25,600
one hallucinogenic and the other not.
107
00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:29,645
[chuckles] I tried
to lick the normal one,
108
00:04:29,729 --> 00:04:33,232
and by mistake,
I licked the hallucinogenic one.
109
00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:35,985
It really rocked my world.
110
00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:38,404
Why would you lick either of them?
111
00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:41,657
I'm not sure. Probably low blood sugar.
112
00:04:41,741 --> 00:04:45,787
But the point is,
I also lost track of reality.
113
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:47,288
How did you handle it?
114
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:50,708
I saw a jaguar and I realized
115
00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:53,503
I didn't care if it was real or not.
116
00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:56,214
I just hauled my tushy out of there.
117
00:04:56,923 --> 00:04:58,132
I appreciate the call.
118
00:04:58,216 --> 00:04:59,759
I'm giving you back to my Meemaw now.
119
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:01,469
Bye.
120
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,433
Hey, John. Any luck?
121
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:10,144
Not unless you have access
to a jaguar.
122
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:11,979
I don't think I do.
123
00:05:12,063 --> 00:05:14,440
Really, any jungle cat will do.
124
00:05:15,775 --> 00:05:16,733
Hey, Tom.
125
00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:17,902
George.
126
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,214
Sheldon's not here anymore.
Thought it'd be a while
127
00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:22,318
before I got called back
into the principal's office.
128
00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:24,575
How's he doing? I miss that kid.
129
00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:27,411
He took a philosophy class
and won't get out of bed
130
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,175
'cause he doesn't know
what's real anymore.
131
00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:31,249
Anyway,
132
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:33,376
we need to talk about Georgie.
133
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,127
Should have seen that coming.
134
00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:36,671
What's wrong?
135
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,923
Well, he's been cutting classes.
136
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,217
Already? Semester's barely started.
137
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,844
He's a go-getter.
138
00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:43,928
Mmm.
139
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:45,930
- I'll talk to him.
- Thanks.
140
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,268
How are the team
looking this year, George?
141
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,271
We just had
one difficult conversation, Tom.
142
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,354
Let's not have another.
143
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,357
Smart.
144
00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:59,735
[adult Sheldon] While my Meemaw
wasn't able to acquire a jungle cat,
145
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:03,823
the idea of tormenting a child
did tickle her Texan fancy.
146
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:04,991
Sheldon.
147
00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:11,706
I have someone else
who wants to talk to you.
148
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,499
What are you doing
with that filthy thing?
149
00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:14,876
Why do you care?
150
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:16,335
If nothing is real,
151
00:06:16,878 --> 00:06:18,296
then neither is the chicken.
152
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:24,510
Oh, good. We're standing now.
That's progress.
153
00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:26,137
Get her out of here.
154
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,889
Well, I would, but...
155
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,431
[chuckles]
156
00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:32,728
Apparently,
I can't know what here is.
157
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,897
So maybe I could just
set her on your bed.
158
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,566
Okay, okay. I'll get dressed.
159
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:39,775
Make it snappy.
160
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:43,654
This still doesn't solve
my existential crisis.
161
00:06:43,738 --> 00:06:45,364
Say what? You wanna hold her?
162
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:47,157
No.
163
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:50,202
Less talk. More pants.
164
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,631
What's your first class?
165
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:03,841
Solid-state physics at 11:30.
166
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,594
- You'll make it just in time.
- Although...
167
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:10,848
And before you say
"Does time even exist?" it does.
168
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,892
So stop wasting mine.
169
00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:18,522
What's this philosophy teacher's name?
170
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,566
Professor Ericson. Why?
171
00:07:20,650 --> 00:07:22,610
I might pop in and say hello.
172
00:07:23,069 --> 00:07:24,070
Be careful.
173
00:07:24,195 --> 00:07:26,864
She may make you question
your most deeply held values.
174
00:07:26,948 --> 00:07:28,532
I'm a stubborn old crank.
175
00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:30,618
I'll do just fine.
176
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:33,079
I'm a stubborn young crank,
and it didn't help me.
177
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:38,042
You wanted to see me?
178
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,461
Sit down.
179
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:42,967
Is this gonna take long?
I need to get to class.
180
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:45,142
From what I hear,
you don't care about that.
181
00:07:45,216 --> 00:07:46,216
Now sit.
182
00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:52,764
What the hell you doin'?
183
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,142
I cut a class. Who cares?
184
00:07:55,226 --> 00:07:57,228
It was more than one, and I care.
185
00:07:58,104 --> 00:08:00,457
You start flunking out,
you're gonna get kicked off the team.
186
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:01,691
Fine.
187
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,044
Well, now you don't care about football?
188
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:05,361
Not really.
189
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,090
I don't know what's going on with you,
190
00:08:08,114 --> 00:08:09,841
but you better
get your head out of your ass.
191
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:11,450
Football's a waste of time.
192
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:12,952
I have a job I could be at.
193
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,395
You made a commitment to the team
and you're gonna honor it.
194
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,291
Are we done?
195
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:22,962
Just get back to class.
196
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,008
And I better see you at practice.
197
00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:29,468
Well, I don't know if I can find it
with my head up my ass.
198
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,931
So, according to de Broglie,
199
00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:36,183
lambda equals "h"
divided by "m" times what?
200
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:38,059
Sheldon?
201
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,396
Is it velocity?
202
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,563
Yes. Now...
203
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:41,731
Or is it a velociraptor?
204
00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,274
I'm sorry?
205
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:47,153
Perhaps lambda equals "h" divided
by "m" times a velociraptor.
206
00:08:48,154 --> 00:08:49,530
Or a velveteen rabbit.
207
00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:50,865
Ooh! Or Velveeta.
208
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:54,160
That's the cheese my mom puts
on broccoli when she's being fancy.
209
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,954
Is this from your philosophy class?
210
00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:59,457
Or perhaps that Ren and Stumpy
I've heard about.
211
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,791
Philosophy.
212
00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:03,919
Mr. Cooper, do you really believe
213
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:06,714
that de Broglie's equation
contains Velveeta cheese?
214
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:09,050
Well, I don't know.
Maybe he was just trying to be fancy.
215
00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:11,426
Hello.
216
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:12,970
Can I help you?
217
00:09:13,054 --> 00:09:14,764
Hi. I'm Connie Tucker.
218
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:16,557
I'm Sheldon Cooper's grandmother.
219
00:09:16,891 --> 00:09:19,310
Oh! Nice to meet you.
220
00:09:19,894 --> 00:09:21,562
He is a remarkable young man.
221
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:22,897
Yes, he is.
222
00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:25,399
He's also a very
impressionable young man,
223
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:28,027
kind of like a lump of clay
with a bowtie.
224
00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,447
All I did was teach him
about epistemology.
225
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:36,243
Whatever it is you're teaching him,
it has made him question everything.
226
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:37,536
That's the goal.
227
00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:41,707
Lady, I had to threaten him with
a chicken so he'd put his pants on.
228
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:43,667
Well, I don't know
what's gotten into that kid.
229
00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:46,170
He's allowed to not
want to play football.
230
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,298
Can you, for once in your life,
take my side, Wayne?
231
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,050
It's not my fault you're never right.
232
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,053
So you think it's okay he just quit?
233
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,805
He doesn't get that much playing time.
234
00:09:57,515 --> 00:09:59,225
Well, in my family, we don't quit.
235
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:00,893
I don't know.
236
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,478
You quit my book club pretty quick.
237
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:04,063
I'm talking about football.
238
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,357
Why is it so important to you
that he play?
239
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,269
Are you sure you're a coach?
240
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:13,239
Team sports provides confidence,
leadership, discipline.
241
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:16,117
So does holding down a job,
which he seems to shine at.
242
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,370
Let's just eat in silence.
243
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,287
Fine.
244
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,836
I still think you should have read
The Color Purple.
245
00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:28,086
We were bawling.
246
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,383
Although tasty,
a brick of cheese is not a number.
247
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,760
Why are we still talking about this?
248
00:10:34,844 --> 00:10:36,428
Maybe we're not talking at all.
249
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:38,430
Okay, that's enough for today.
250
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,891
Not your best lecture.
251
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,562
It's fairly normal
for first-time philosophy students
252
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,272
to have their world views shaken.
253
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,898
Do they snap out of it?
254
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:49,732
Well, you hope.
255
00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:52,611
Professor Ericson, I insist that...
256
00:10:53,112 --> 00:10:55,406
Hello, Connie.
What a pleasant surprise.
257
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,657
Hey.
258
00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:59,429
I'm sorry you're about to see me
speak harshly to my colleague.
259
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,4519
Have at it.
260
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,872
Professor Ericson, I insist
that you speak to this young man
261
00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:04,957
and explain to him
that reality is real
262
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,209
and it's possible to know
things as fact.
263
00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:10,045
The class is called
Introduction to Philosophy.
264
00:11:10,129 --> 00:11:11,130
That's what I did.
265
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,132
Well, un-introduce him.
266
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:15,735
Yes. He's at this school
'cause of his brilliant scientific mind.
267
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,470
He spent my last class
talking about processed cheese.
268
00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:19,847
Sheldon, is that true?
269
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,140
Nothing's true.
270
00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,601
You see what you've done? You broke him.
271
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:27,395
Hey.
272
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:31,681
How come you didn't want
to get out of bed this morning?
273
00:11:32,151 --> 00:11:34,945
If I can't know what's real,
what's the point?
274
00:11:35,905 --> 00:11:37,656
You have the right words.
275
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,325
You're just saying them wrong.
276
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,203
It's not "What's the point?"
277
00:11:43,037 --> 00:11:44,288
It's "What's the point?"
278
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,082
I don't understand.
279
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:49,835
Asking these questions is exciting.
280
00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:51,879
It's what gets me out of bed.
281
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:54,506
That's interesting.
282
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,718
Richard Feynman did say
the greatest joy in life
283
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,887
is the pleasure of finding things out.
284
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,514
Feynman, he's the physics guy, right?
285
00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:05,142
Yes. And your perfume is beguiling.
286
00:12:06,644 --> 00:12:08,312
It's all making sense to me now.
287
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:09,730
Thank you.
288
00:12:10,356 --> 00:12:11,649
I am happy to help.
289
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:15,569
Dr. Linkletter, I'm dropping your class
and switching my major to philosophy.
290
00:12:16,362 --> 00:12:17,362
What?
291
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:25,829
[Sheldon] It's funny.
292
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,224
This morning I couldn't get out of bed
293
00:12:27,248 --> 00:12:29,959
and now I stand before a whole
new exciting field of study.
294
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:35,089
Maybe instead of making this big switch,
you could study both.
295
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:38,175
You could be physics-philosophy guy.
296
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:40,261
You sound like a logical positivist.
297
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:42,064
That's a branch of philosophy
that maintains
298
00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:44,098
the best way to philosophize
is through science.
299
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:45,182
Well, there you go.
300
00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:46,267
Do that.
301
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,560
It may be too early to specialize.
302
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,980
I've only been a philosopher
for 15 minutes.
303
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,190
Did you notice
304
00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:56,610
Dr. Linkletter didn't look
too thrilled about you leaving science?
305
00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:58,254
He never looks thrilled about anything.
306
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,905
I think that's just his face.
307
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,199
That's the face.
308
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:10,225
Why the hell weren't you at practice?
309
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:11,609
Can't talk right now. I'm working.
310
00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:13,419
Well, you're gonna talk about it.
311
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,088
What do you want from me?
312
00:13:16,422 --> 00:13:18,299
I don't wanna play football.
I wanna work.
313
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,552
You have your whole life
to hold down a job.
314
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,262
Hey, I like my job.
315
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,222
It's not my problem you hate yours.
316
00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:32,604
Do whatever you want.
317
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,276
[adult Sheldon] To figure out which
school of philosophy suited me best,
318
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,570
I decided to sample each one.
319
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,948
The same way I determined
my favorite flavor of oatmeal.
320
00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:44,283
Plain.
321
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:49,246
What are you doing?
322
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,749
I'm practicing
the philosophy of cynicism.
323
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:54,793
The ancient Greek view that
the rules of society should be ignored.
324
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:57,951
If you're gonna break rules,
you can do better than that.
325
00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,255
How?
326
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:00,923
[yelps]
327
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,969
[adult Sheldon]
Renaissance humanism is finding meaning
328
00:14:04,053 --> 00:14:06,138
in the human form through art.
329
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,766
- Can I move?
- No.
330
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,309
But my butt itches.
331
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:11,852
Scratch it on your own time.
332
00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:18,335
[adult Sheldon] Nihilists believe that
there's no point to anything
333
00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:20,110
because it all ends in nothingness.
334
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:21,653
Mind if I put on MTV?
335
00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,031
Doesn't matter.
We're all going to die anyway.
336
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,741
Deep thought, dingus.
337
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,452
[adult Sheldon]
Traditionalism is the philosophy
338
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,996
that the best way of life
is a return to the past.
339
00:14:31,497 --> 00:14:32,706
What are you doing?
340
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:36,043
Making my own butter...
like in olden times.
341
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:37,711
That's stupid.
342
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,522
[adult Sheldon] My arms are still sore.
343
00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:44,343
Altruism is the belief that
we should live only
344
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,136
by bringing happiness to others.
345
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,553
These are for you.
346
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,596
Thanks.
347
00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:50,265
What the hell?
348
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,102
[adult Sheldon]
Egoism is the belief that we should live
349
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:54,895
only by bringing happiness to ourselves.
350
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:56,814
They're pretty good.
351
00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:59,733
[adult Sheldon]
Transcendentalists were philosophers
352
00:14:59,817 --> 00:15:02,986
who believed that our deepest connection
is with nature.
353
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,571
Meh.
354
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:13,789
I'm beautiful.
355
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,836
And then Georgie accuses me
of hating my job.
356
00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:21,237
Is this where I thought I'd end up?
357
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,297
No.
358
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:24,025
Is this where you thought you'd end up?
359
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,385
I thought I'd be working
in my father's funeral home,
360
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:27,970
sewing people's eyes shut.
361
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,346
My life turned out great.
362
00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:31,056
Well, good for you.
363
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,893
Worst part is, I think Georgie's right.
364
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,439
You're not happy at work?
365
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,232
I could see if my dad's hiring.
366
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,687
How are your sewing skills?
367
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:43,694
It's not work.
368
00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:46,280
[sighs]
369
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:48,490
Honestly, I don't know
if I'm happy anywhere.
370
00:15:51,452 --> 00:15:52,453
Gosh.
371
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,663
When I asked y'all to hang for a drink,
372
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,874
I didn't know
you were gonna be such a bummer.
373
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,128
Jeez Louise.
374
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,641
[knocking on door]
375
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,143
Dr. Linkletter.
376
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,895
Sheldon, good to see you.
377
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:18,978
Come on in.
378
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,732
I don't suppose you're here
to discuss physics, are you?
379
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:22,900
As a matter of fact, I am.
380
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,109
Excellent.
381
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:26,945
I'm here to drop your class.
I just need you to sign this.
382
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,697
Have a seat.
383
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,494
Sheldon, I don't know
if you've thought this through,
384
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:35,013
but you're here on a
physics scholarship,
385
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:38,290
and switching to philosophy
may not be well-received.
386
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,376
Ordinarily, I'd be concerned,
but I'm currently embracing hedonism.
387
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,837
Sheldon, I've been made
responsible for you.
388
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:45,506
And so far, it's not going very well.
389
00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:48,300
You were admitted to this university
for your scientific acumen
390
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,178
and changing majors
could have serious repercussions.
391
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,056
Son, please try to understand.
392
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,016
If you abandon physics for philosophy,
393
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,684
you're gonna be missing out
394
00:16:57,768 --> 00:16:59,770
on the opportunity
to be part of something great.
395
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,981
[adult Sheldon]
As Dr. Linkletter prattled on,
396
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:06,777
I couldn't help but notice
the beauty of that ephemeral bubble.
397
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,780
I wondered if perhaps
we're all just bubbles
398
00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:12,908
being buffeted through life
on a stream of currents
399
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,826
beyond our understanding.
400
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:15,910
Look at it.
401
00:17:15,953 --> 00:17:19,164
The local minimization
achieves a global maximization
402
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,541
and it's nearly perfect.
403
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,459
I wondered if this was the key
404
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,263
to the smoothness
of matter in the universe.
405
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:28,549
The cosmic web of stars and galaxies
could hold it together
406
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,926
like the web of polymers in soap.
407
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,928
This could be
a whole new area of research.
408
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,640
Changing majors would be a huge mistake.
409
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,285
But if this is what you really want...
410
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,769
here you go.
411
00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:44,690
- Sheldon.
- What?
412
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:45,941
Here you go.
413
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,401
Good luck with philosophy.
414
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,861
Oh, I'm back on science now.
I have work to do.
415
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:01,373
[theme music playing]