1 00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:02,832 Previously on This Is Us... 2 00:00:02,834 --> 00:00:05,194 I'm not gonna do that trial, Randall. 3 00:00:05,196 --> 00:00:06,352 And I really don't want to hear 4 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:07,890 what either of you has to say about it 5 00:00:07,892 --> 00:00:10,292 because I have made the decision for myself. 6 00:00:10,294 --> 00:00:12,327 This could've saved her life. 7 00:00:12,329 --> 00:00:14,458 Don't you ever wonder what it would've been like 8 00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:15,615 if Dad hadn't died? 9 00:00:15,617 --> 00:00:18,633 No. I don't, Randall. Do you? 10 00:00:18,635 --> 00:00:21,001 Dad, if you go back in that house, so help me, God, 11 00:00:21,003 --> 00:00:23,704 I'll go through that front door and get you myself! 12 00:00:23,706 --> 00:00:24,805 Dad, look! 13 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,276 Every single day. 14 00:00:37,219 --> 00:00:39,662 I haven't been able to stop thinking about it 15 00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:42,590 since I asked my brother, 16 00:00:42,592 --> 00:00:47,027 what my life would be like if my dad hadn't died. 17 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,399 What do you think would've been different? 18 00:00:58,162 --> 00:00:59,562 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 19 00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:09,382 It's all just... 20 00:01:09,384 --> 00:01:12,051 gone? 21 00:01:12,053 --> 00:01:14,053 Yeah. 22 00:01:14,055 --> 00:01:16,189 You're lucky you weren't there. 23 00:01:16,191 --> 00:01:18,091 All right. 24 00:01:18,093 --> 00:01:19,693 Here you go. 25 00:01:19,695 --> 00:01:21,795 - Thank you. - Waters all around. 26 00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:23,830 Hey, uh, you guys need anything else? 27 00:01:23,832 --> 00:01:25,659 I can heat up some food for you to eat, or... 28 00:01:25,661 --> 00:01:27,068 - No, thank you. - No. Thank you. 29 00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:28,413 - Mom, Dad. - Guys... 30 00:01:28,415 --> 00:01:30,110 - Hey, Kev. Is everyone okay? - Hi, sweetheart. God... 31 00:01:30,112 --> 00:01:31,866 - Are you okay? - Yeah, no, no, no, I'm fine. 32 00:01:31,868 --> 00:01:33,673 Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm okay. 33 00:01:33,675 --> 00:01:34,776 - Hi, baby doll. - Hi, Mom. 34 00:01:34,778 --> 00:01:35,915 Just some minor burns. 35 00:01:35,917 --> 00:01:37,557 Hey, the doctor said I'm gonna be fine. 36 00:01:37,559 --> 00:01:39,315 He said the smoke inhalation was minimal. 37 00:01:39,317 --> 00:01:41,557 Yeah, thank God you didn't go back in the house. 38 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,215 Well, thank God that fireman actually got to Louie. 39 00:01:44,217 --> 00:01:45,552 I wouldn't be able to live with myself. 40 00:01:45,554 --> 00:01:47,119 - He okay? - Yeah, I think so. 41 00:01:47,121 --> 00:01:48,554 Okay. 42 00:01:48,556 --> 00:01:52,591 Hey, guys, listen to me. 43 00:01:52,593 --> 00:01:54,994 We're all gonna be fine. 44 00:01:54,996 --> 00:01:58,330 - Yeah. - Right? We're here, together. 45 00:01:58,332 --> 00:01:59,965 That's all that matters. 46 00:01:59,967 --> 00:02:03,301 This family is the only thing that matters. 47 00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:08,741 So, I just got off the phone with the police. 48 00:02:08,743 --> 00:02:10,743 They have officially cleared the house. 49 00:02:10,745 --> 00:02:14,052 I'm gonna go over there and see what's left, 50 00:02:14,054 --> 00:02:17,215 see if there's anything salvageable. 51 00:02:20,859 --> 00:02:22,566 Bec. 52 00:02:22,568 --> 00:02:24,723 We'll find temporary housing. 53 00:02:24,725 --> 00:02:25,823 - No, no, no, babe, it's-it's... - Okay? We... 54 00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:27,792 It's not about the house. 55 00:02:27,794 --> 00:02:30,094 I mean, we, we could have died. 56 00:02:31,998 --> 00:02:34,398 And it just... 57 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,468 it-it puts things in perspective, you know? 58 00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:39,904 Like what? 59 00:02:39,906 --> 00:02:42,907 Like... 60 00:02:46,446 --> 00:02:50,582 Things you know you should share, 61 00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:55,086 but you don't because it's hard. 62 00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:59,175 And... time goes by. 63 00:02:59,177 --> 00:03:03,613 And then more time goes by, and eventually you're... 64 00:03:07,533 --> 00:03:10,901 I have to tell you something. 65 00:03:12,137 --> 00:03:13,937 Randall? 66 00:03:13,939 --> 00:03:18,042 Hey, uh, Miguel took Kate and Kevin to go buy some essentials. 67 00:03:18,044 --> 00:03:19,718 I'm looking up that info you asked about, 68 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,746 - the fire insurance policy, you know... - Son, just... 69 00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:26,549 What's wrong? 70 00:03:26,551 --> 00:03:28,151 What happened? 71 00:03:30,956 --> 00:03:33,123 Mom, you're really freaking me out. 72 00:03:34,259 --> 00:03:36,259 Sweetheart. 73 00:03:38,059 --> 00:03:40,459 When you were a baby... 74 00:03:43,568 --> 00:03:46,369 ... I met your father. 75 00:03:47,606 --> 00:03:49,606 Your birth father. 76 00:03:52,243 --> 00:03:54,243 My... 77 00:03:55,618 --> 00:03:56,818 My-my what? 78 00:03:58,249 --> 00:04:00,329 How? 79 00:04:00,331 --> 00:04:04,189 He, he was hanging around outside the hospital, 80 00:04:04,191 --> 00:04:07,437 and I followed him back to his apartment. 81 00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:10,130 But, sweetheart, you have to understand, 82 00:04:10,132 --> 00:04:12,080 he was not well, okay? 83 00:04:12,082 --> 00:04:17,408 He was an addict and I, I-I got out of there 84 00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:19,035 and I never said anything to anyone. 85 00:04:19,037 --> 00:04:21,061 And then I tried to go back years later... 86 00:04:21,063 --> 00:04:22,337 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 87 00:04:28,046 --> 00:04:31,246 This whole time, you knew who he was? 88 00:04:33,551 --> 00:04:36,151 You just kept it secret from me? 89 00:04:39,956 --> 00:04:41,990 - All these years. - No, no, no, no, no. 90 00:04:41,992 --> 00:04:45,727 He just found out five minutes ago, okay? 91 00:04:48,499 --> 00:04:49,998 What's his name? 92 00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:53,068 What is his name?! 93 00:04:53,070 --> 00:04:54,836 William... 94 00:04:54,838 --> 00:04:56,438 William Hill. 95 00:05:00,377 --> 00:05:02,377 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 96 00:05:02,379 --> 00:05:05,046 - Stop, stop. - Okay, okay. 97 00:05:05,048 --> 00:05:07,048 Do you know where he lives? 98 00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:11,060 Um, I don't know if he still lives there, but I can, 99 00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:13,144 - I can show you where he lived years ago. - No, no, no. 100 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,076 Just give me the address. And I can go by myself. 101 00:05:15,078 --> 00:05:17,677 - No, you won't. - No. I need to do this, Dad. 102 00:05:17,679 --> 00:05:20,961 I know. I know. 103 00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:22,563 I'll go with you. 104 00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:28,369 - Hey, Dad? - Yeah? 105 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:30,338 This isn't... I... 106 00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:32,540 This isn't about you. 107 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,975 Uh, l-like, wanting to meet him. I... 108 00:05:34,977 --> 00:05:36,810 Yeah, no, I know. 109 00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:39,547 Yeah, it's okay. 110 00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:42,816 I think this is it. 111 00:05:42,818 --> 00:05:45,018 You ready? 112 00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:48,322 Uh-huh. - Yeah. 113 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,899 Can I help you? 114 00:06:00,935 --> 00:06:02,168 Are you William Hill? 115 00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:04,337 Last I checked. 116 00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:08,775 My name is Randall Pearson. 117 00:06:08,777 --> 00:06:10,209 I think I'm your son. 118 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:21,058 Wow. Top of your class. 119 00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:22,292 That's something. 120 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:23,784 Hey, what can I say? 121 00:06:23,786 --> 00:06:25,462 I work hard. 122 00:06:25,464 --> 00:06:27,464 Not trying to brag or anything. 123 00:06:27,466 --> 00:06:29,466 - We're very proud of him. - Yeah. 124 00:06:29,468 --> 00:06:30,968 Mm. 125 00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:35,371 Well, so, uh, do you play any instruments? 126 00:06:35,373 --> 00:06:36,702 Oh, well, 127 00:06:36,704 --> 00:06:38,860 I'm not really the musical one in the family. 128 00:06:38,862 --> 00:06:40,618 My sister Kate is. 129 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:43,477 She gets it from my mom. My adopted mom. 130 00:06:43,479 --> 00:06:45,179 Randall. 131 00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:49,051 Uh, speaking of, 132 00:06:49,053 --> 00:06:53,364 I was wondering if you could, uh, tell me more about 133 00:06:53,366 --> 00:06:56,434 - my biological mom? - Oh... 134 00:06:56,436 --> 00:06:58,904 Well... 135 00:06:58,906 --> 00:07:00,787 Do you know the feeling you get 136 00:07:00,789 --> 00:07:03,441 when you take a sip of something hot? 137 00:07:03,443 --> 00:07:05,476 That was Laurel. 138 00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:09,181 She was a warm drink straight to your soul. 139 00:07:10,755 --> 00:07:12,828 She stopped using when she was pregnant, 140 00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:15,519 but right after you were born... 141 00:07:15,521 --> 00:07:18,355 Old habits. 142 00:07:18,357 --> 00:07:20,791 She didn't make it. 143 00:07:20,793 --> 00:07:23,816 And me, I... I didn't know the first thing 144 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:26,012 about raising a baby on my own. 145 00:07:29,501 --> 00:07:33,270 You were never not wanted. 146 00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:36,205 In fact... 147 00:07:40,522 --> 00:07:45,414 ... I wrote these for you a long time ago. 148 00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:49,651 I never thought anyone else would see it besides me. 149 00:07:57,395 --> 00:07:59,562 Maybe I can go back next week? 150 00:08:01,499 --> 00:08:04,033 You know, Randall, I really think you should 151 00:08:04,035 --> 00:08:07,737 temper your expectations of this guy, just a little bit. 152 00:08:07,739 --> 00:08:08,938 What do you mean? 153 00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:11,374 He was a very nice man. 154 00:08:11,376 --> 00:08:16,112 But I think, I think he might still be using. 155 00:08:16,114 --> 00:08:19,515 - So? - So I'm really not too comfortable 156 00:08:19,517 --> 00:08:21,150 with my son spending time with a guy who's... 157 00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:23,185 - Come on, Dad. - ... involved with that. 158 00:08:23,187 --> 00:08:26,388 Dad, you're an addict, too. 159 00:08:30,227 --> 00:08:32,694 Please. 160 00:08:43,307 --> 00:08:45,473 It's been 161 00:08:45,475 --> 00:08:49,444 a tough time for my family lately. 162 00:08:51,848 --> 00:08:53,248 From the, uh, 163 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:55,645 American Songbook, these are riffs that I've been... 164 00:08:55,647 --> 00:08:57,842 It's been a long time since I've spoken 165 00:08:57,844 --> 00:08:59,987 to a room full of people like this. 166 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,856 So I've been thinking, 167 00:09:02,858 --> 00:09:06,706 I'm probably gonna stay home for college, go to Carnegie Mellon. 168 00:09:06,708 --> 00:09:08,064 But you got into Howard. 169 00:09:08,066 --> 00:09:09,612 I thought that was your top choice. 170 00:09:09,614 --> 00:09:12,300 It was, but... 171 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,903 I-I thought it'd be nice to spend more time together. 172 00:09:15,905 --> 00:09:17,104 Right? 173 00:09:17,106 --> 00:09:19,873 Right. 174 00:09:19,875 --> 00:09:21,108 That's cool. 175 00:09:22,778 --> 00:09:25,246 Hey, sweetheart, if you did forget anything, 176 00:09:25,248 --> 00:09:26,981 we'll be happy to drive it over to you. 177 00:09:29,605 --> 00:09:32,128 You sure you don't want me to come with you guys 178 00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:33,209 and help you move in? 179 00:09:33,211 --> 00:09:34,655 The car's pretty packed, 180 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,623 so there's only really room for two of us. 181 00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:38,725 Okay. 182 00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:41,361 I'm gonna go say bye to Kevin and Kate. 183 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,563 Okay. 184 00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:48,268 Hey. He's just sorting through everything. 185 00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:50,303 - Yeah. - Okay? 186 00:09:50,305 --> 00:09:52,305 He'll come around. 187 00:10:00,649 --> 00:10:02,883 - Oh... - Oh, oh, I-I'm sorry. 188 00:10:02,885 --> 00:10:04,717 No problem. 189 00:10:07,456 --> 00:10:09,221 Beth, we are so thrilled 190 00:10:09,223 --> 00:10:10,258 to have you here tonight. 191 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:11,524 This is the first time we've had 192 00:10:11,526 --> 00:10:14,060 all of our kids home from college at the same time. 193 00:10:14,062 --> 00:10:16,187 Oh, thank you for having me over. 194 00:10:16,189 --> 00:10:19,966 Oh, I-I brought, uh, a little something. 195 00:10:19,968 --> 00:10:22,128 - Oh, you didn't need to do that. You don't... - It's just a little gift. 196 00:10:22,130 --> 00:10:24,226 You don't need to bring us a g... whoa! Hot sauce? 197 00:10:24,228 --> 00:10:26,295 No, no, give that here. 198 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,946 Uh, my-my dad loved hot sauce, too. 199 00:10:29,948 --> 00:10:32,012 Uh, he always brought it with him 200 00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:33,646 to every house we went as a gift. 201 00:10:33,648 --> 00:10:35,577 But it wasn't actually a gift, he just wanted 202 00:10:35,579 --> 00:10:37,651 to make sure he always had hot sauce. 203 00:10:37,653 --> 00:10:39,452 Randall told us that, um, 204 00:10:39,454 --> 00:10:41,209 that he passed last year. 205 00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:43,188 We were very sorry to hear that. 206 00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:45,758 Yeah, I can't imagine going through 207 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,027 all of that stuff at your age, sweetheart. 208 00:10:48,029 --> 00:10:49,996 Yeah, we really shouldn't make her 209 00:10:49,998 --> 00:10:51,764 talk about it right now, Mom. 210 00:10:51,766 --> 00:10:53,699 - I'm sorry. - No, it... 211 00:10:53,701 --> 00:10:55,568 - No, no, no, no, it's-it's fine. - I'm sorry. 212 00:10:55,570 --> 00:10:56,921 - It's fine. - Thank you. 213 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,639 - This is, uh, wonderful. - Yeah. 214 00:10:59,641 --> 00:11:01,473 Sweetheart, 215 00:11:01,475 --> 00:11:03,442 how do you like your salad? I added those 216 00:11:03,444 --> 00:11:05,945 little slivered almonds in there just for you. 217 00:11:05,947 --> 00:11:08,247 Don't really like almonds. 218 00:11:09,483 --> 00:11:10,883 What? 219 00:11:10,885 --> 00:11:12,484 Since when? 220 00:11:12,486 --> 00:11:14,854 Never have. 221 00:11:14,856 --> 00:11:18,223 Could you show me where the bathroom is? 222 00:11:18,225 --> 00:11:19,891 It's right through the kitchen. 223 00:11:19,893 --> 00:11:21,893 Can you show me? 224 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,390 It's good, Mom. 225 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,747 I like the almonds. 226 00:11:25,749 --> 00:11:28,173 Was that a "rescue me" head nod 227 00:11:28,175 --> 00:11:30,268 or a "I want to go sneak in a quick make-out" head nod? 228 00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:31,469 That was a "quit being such 229 00:11:31,471 --> 00:11:34,573 a dick to your mom" head nod. 230 00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:36,187 You need to forgive her. 231 00:11:36,189 --> 00:11:37,742 Beth, you don't know what you're talking about. 232 00:11:37,744 --> 00:11:39,911 - You don't know how I... - Look, I carry bottles of hot sauce 233 00:11:39,913 --> 00:11:43,048 because they remind me of my dead dad. 234 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:46,718 And you get not one, but two, 235 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,120 living, breathing, really freaking 236 00:11:49,122 --> 00:11:51,182 cool dads, okay? 237 00:11:51,184 --> 00:11:53,591 Li... life is short, Randall. 238 00:11:53,593 --> 00:11:54,925 It's too damn short. 239 00:11:57,096 --> 00:12:00,030 - So Dad hops in to grab Kevin out of the pig pen. - Uh-huh. 240 00:12:00,032 --> 00:12:03,266 And he's screaming because he's decided he loves this pig... 241 00:12:03,268 --> 00:12:04,868 She won best in show at the county fair. 242 00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:06,704 It was a big deal when I was five. 243 00:12:06,706 --> 00:12:08,606 So-so me, Kate and my mom 244 00:12:08,608 --> 00:12:11,308 are outside the fence, terrified... 245 00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:12,977 We were screaming. 246 00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:14,648 - You remember that, crying? - Yes. 247 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,946 You remember that? 248 00:12:15,948 --> 00:12:17,270 Yes, how can I forget? 249 00:12:17,272 --> 00:12:18,849 Actually, do you want to tell this part? 250 00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:20,017 You tell it better. 251 00:12:23,756 --> 00:12:26,924 Um... 252 00:12:26,926 --> 00:12:28,926 the, um... 253 00:12:28,928 --> 00:12:31,494 the little pig started squealing and then 254 00:12:31,496 --> 00:12:34,130 muddy little Kevin over here 255 00:12:34,132 --> 00:12:36,365 started squealing right back. 256 00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:38,901 And then Jack started squealing... 257 00:12:48,113 --> 00:12:51,015 I remember picking Randall up from school 258 00:12:51,017 --> 00:12:53,516 one day in, uh, sixth grade. 259 00:12:53,518 --> 00:12:57,386 And he was studying the periodic table. 260 00:12:57,388 --> 00:13:00,690 He was so excited to tell me about Marie Curie 261 00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:03,491 and her husband Pierre... 262 00:13:03,493 --> 00:13:07,362 who had discovered radium and polonium 263 00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:09,531 together. 264 00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:10,899 Kid's 11. 265 00:13:12,469 --> 00:13:14,453 And I-I remember him saying to me, 266 00:13:14,455 --> 00:13:17,568 "Dad, I want to marry someone 267 00:13:17,570 --> 00:13:19,440 I can discover elements with". 268 00:13:19,442 --> 00:13:22,544 Let's raise our glasses. 269 00:13:22,546 --> 00:13:23,845 To Randall and Beth. 270 00:13:23,847 --> 00:13:25,147 To Randall and Beth. 271 00:13:28,485 --> 00:13:31,720 And that is how you got the name Tess. 272 00:13:31,722 --> 00:13:35,890 Because of a ceiling fan of all things. 273 00:13:35,892 --> 00:13:38,793 Pretty perfect first grandkid, huh? 274 00:13:38,795 --> 00:13:41,461 No complaints here. 275 00:13:43,265 --> 00:13:44,899 Mind if I join? 276 00:13:44,901 --> 00:13:47,634 Come on in, Grandpa. 277 00:13:53,142 --> 00:13:55,176 Hey, beautiful. 278 00:13:55,178 --> 00:13:56,510 All right. 279 00:13:56,512 --> 00:13:57,644 Ham's in the oven. 280 00:13:57,646 --> 00:13:59,613 Everyone's arriving at 2:00. 281 00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:02,482 The Pearson Christmas Feast is right on track. 282 00:14:02,484 --> 00:14:04,051 Fruitcake? 283 00:14:04,053 --> 00:14:06,087 Nah, stomach's a little funny. 284 00:14:06,089 --> 00:14:08,589 Again? 285 00:14:08,591 --> 00:14:10,023 We rarely catch 286 00:14:10,025 --> 00:14:12,259 stomach cancer in its earliest stages. 287 00:14:12,261 --> 00:14:14,961 You are a very lucky man. 288 00:14:14,963 --> 00:14:18,209 Lucky my boy here's a relentless son of a gun. 289 00:14:18,211 --> 00:14:19,666 Hey, guys, gather round. 290 00:14:19,668 --> 00:14:20,900 Let me get this picture real quick. 291 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:25,128 Everybody say, "Thanksgiving hot dogs wrapped in cheese". 292 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,841 Thanksgiving hot dogs wrapped in cheese! 293 00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:29,109 Yeah! 294 00:14:29,111 --> 00:14:30,176 Okay, wait, no. 295 00:14:30,178 --> 00:14:31,511 I want to get one, too. 296 00:14:31,513 --> 00:14:33,847 On my phone... 297 00:14:33,849 --> 00:14:35,815 Where did I put my phone? 298 00:14:35,817 --> 00:14:37,989 No, wait, hold on a sec. It was just here. 299 00:14:37,991 --> 00:14:39,846 - What's wrong, hon? - Can't find my phone. 300 00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:40,920 I'll help you look for it, Rebecca. 301 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,921 I just had it. 302 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,524 She misplaced her phone again. 303 00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:53,266 I'm sorry to interrupt you, 304 00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:55,834 Randall, but I suspect 305 00:14:55,836 --> 00:14:57,403 that you and your father are about 306 00:14:57,405 --> 00:14:59,505 to band together to save your mother? 307 00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:02,363 So I'm just trying to keep track here. 308 00:15:02,365 --> 00:15:04,843 In the version of your life 309 00:15:04,845 --> 00:15:06,445 where your father lives, 310 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,474 you immediately find your birth father, 311 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,250 get him clean, 312 00:15:11,252 --> 00:15:12,851 your parents' marriage survives, 313 00:15:12,853 --> 00:15:14,868 you have the same wife and kids, 314 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,554 cure stomach cancer, 315 00:15:16,556 --> 00:15:19,257 and you get your mother into this clinical trial? 316 00:15:19,259 --> 00:15:21,926 Yeah, that's what I think would've happened. 317 00:15:23,128 --> 00:15:24,361 Gotcha. 318 00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:29,001 Hey, there's, um, 319 00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:31,026 Scrabble and Connect Four 320 00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:32,636 in the cabinet behind you. 321 00:15:32,638 --> 00:15:35,305 You're in that chair for another half an hour. 322 00:15:35,307 --> 00:15:37,898 We could either play games or you could be honest. 323 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,933 Your choice. 324 00:15:44,790 --> 00:15:46,914 I don't understand. 325 00:15:46,916 --> 00:15:49,067 You asked for my version. 326 00:15:49,069 --> 00:15:50,375 Rose-colored or not, 327 00:15:50,377 --> 00:15:51,979 that's what I gave you. 328 00:15:51,981 --> 00:15:55,105 Randall, when we started working together, 329 00:15:55,107 --> 00:15:57,782 you asked me to challenge you. 330 00:15:57,784 --> 00:16:00,124 Now let's try this again. 331 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:03,636 This time tell me what scares you the most 332 00:16:03,638 --> 00:16:05,089 about what could have happened 333 00:16:05,091 --> 00:16:07,425 if your father survived that night? 334 00:16:28,915 --> 00:16:31,282 Please say something. 335 00:16:33,252 --> 00:16:35,385 What do you want me to say? 336 00:16:38,825 --> 00:16:40,991 That you... 337 00:16:40,993 --> 00:16:43,460 understand why I did it? 338 00:16:43,462 --> 00:16:47,298 You met our son's birth father 339 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,500 and then you lied to me about it for 17 years. 340 00:16:50,502 --> 00:16:53,137 What am I supposed to understand about that? 341 00:16:53,139 --> 00:16:56,207 That I was trying to protect him. 342 00:16:56,209 --> 00:16:58,075 Protect him from what? 343 00:16:58,077 --> 00:16:59,509 William was sick. 344 00:16:59,511 --> 00:17:00,610 He was an addict. 345 00:17:00,612 --> 00:17:02,112 I was, I was worried 346 00:17:02,114 --> 00:17:03,914 he would want to take Randall away from us. 347 00:17:03,916 --> 00:17:05,929 Well, then we could have dealt with that 348 00:17:05,931 --> 00:17:08,252 together as a family. 349 00:17:08,254 --> 00:17:11,155 But you made that call on your own. 350 00:17:12,658 --> 00:17:14,157 You... 351 00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,060 You were wrong, Bec. 352 00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:18,161 My God, you were so wrong. 353 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,662 I wanted to tell you so many times. 354 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:20,796 Then why didn't you, huh? 355 00:17:20,798 --> 00:17:22,606 Because I was scared. 356 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,800 And I-I knew that you would want to do 357 00:17:24,802 --> 00:17:26,069 what you thought was right. 358 00:17:26,071 --> 00:17:28,004 And I'm-I'm sorry. 359 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,638 I'm sorry, Jack. 360 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,174 I'm so sorry. 361 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,945 I can't even look at you right now. 362 00:17:35,947 --> 00:17:37,800 The Rebecca that I know? 363 00:17:37,802 --> 00:17:40,558 She isn't capable of something this cruel. 364 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,612 She is not capable of keeping our son 365 00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,922 away from his birth father. 366 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:48,891 - Oh, my God... - Stop! 367 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:50,759 Randall... 368 00:17:50,761 --> 00:17:53,762 I will take care of our son. 369 00:18:11,348 --> 00:18:13,882 Look, if it's bibles you're selling, I've got several. 370 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,805 William Hill? 371 00:18:16,807 --> 00:18:19,431 I don't love it when people know my name 372 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,022 and I'm not familiar with theirs. 373 00:18:23,326 --> 00:18:25,293 I'm Randall Pearson. 374 00:18:25,295 --> 00:18:27,629 17 years ago, I was left at a fire station 375 00:18:27,631 --> 00:18:29,497 in Bethel Park. 376 00:18:30,849 --> 00:18:32,916 I'm your son. 377 00:18:40,677 --> 00:18:42,777 That's impossible. 378 00:18:42,779 --> 00:18:45,413 My mom says she saw you at the hospital the day that I was... 379 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,714 I said that's impossible! 380 00:18:47,784 --> 00:18:49,617 I've never had children. 381 00:18:49,619 --> 00:18:50,819 And I don't got a son. 382 00:18:50,821 --> 00:18:52,286 Mr. Hill! 383 00:18:57,192 --> 00:18:59,927 Hey, listen to me. 384 00:18:59,929 --> 00:19:02,629 That man may not know he has a son, 385 00:19:02,631 --> 00:19:04,698 but you have a father. 386 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:07,067 You hear me? 387 00:19:10,005 --> 00:19:12,539 Howard has summer classes. 388 00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,842 I think I might go early. 389 00:19:18,781 --> 00:19:21,637 Okay. 390 00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:24,062 That's why we take care 391 00:19:24,064 --> 00:19:26,553 of our community, 'cause family is everything. 392 00:19:26,555 --> 00:19:28,845 _ 393 00:19:28,847 --> 00:19:30,456 Now my brother Quinton here's gonna lead us 394 00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:32,002 by "setting owt" a march. 395 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,061 Let's clap it up for Brother Randall 396 00:19:35,063 --> 00:19:36,829 for leading a great group 397 00:19:36,831 --> 00:19:38,364 and being a great example. 398 00:19:40,401 --> 00:19:42,635 What's the motto of this group? 399 00:19:42,637 --> 00:19:44,136 Lifting as we climb! 400 00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:46,695 - We lift! We lift! - We climb! We climb! 401 00:19:46,697 --> 00:19:48,273 Que team! 402 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:50,342 Que team! 403 00:19:50,344 --> 00:19:53,779 Que team! 404 00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:55,314 Que Psi Phi! 405 00:20:02,089 --> 00:20:05,257 ♪ Well, it's time ♪ 406 00:20:05,259 --> 00:20:08,260 ♪ For us to throw down ♪ 407 00:20:08,262 --> 00:20:11,063 ♪ For my Que Psi Phi ♪ 408 00:20:11,065 --> 00:20:14,733 ♪ Omega Psi Phi, for my Que Psi Phi ♪ 409 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:15,901 ♪ Que Psi Phi! ♪ 410 00:20:36,954 --> 00:20:40,446 It is the first time we have all the kids 411 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,014 home from college at the same time. 412 00:20:42,016 --> 00:20:43,794 It's nice, isn't it, Jack? 413 00:20:43,796 --> 00:20:46,330 Yeah. 414 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,502 Uh, Rebecca, 415 00:20:51,504 --> 00:20:53,678 this Cornish hen is delicious. 416 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,537 Oh, thank you, Sophie. 417 00:20:55,539 --> 00:20:57,647 - Yeah, Mom, really juicy. - Thank you. 418 00:20:57,649 --> 00:20:59,439 Hey, I helped. How about 419 00:20:59,441 --> 00:21:01,212 throwing some compliments my way, guys? 420 00:21:01,214 --> 00:21:02,813 Oh, okay, Kevin. 421 00:21:02,815 --> 00:21:05,116 You're-you're the next Iron Chef. 422 00:21:05,118 --> 00:21:06,649 Dad, think I should 423 00:21:06,651 --> 00:21:09,152 quit Lundy and, uh, go to culinary school? 424 00:21:09,154 --> 00:21:12,355 You make one decent piece of chicken, and you want to 425 00:21:12,357 --> 00:21:14,023 abandon your old man on the job? 426 00:21:24,169 --> 00:21:26,002 So, Randall, how's school? 427 00:21:27,038 --> 00:21:28,338 It's fine. 428 00:21:31,076 --> 00:21:33,443 Just... just fine? 429 00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:44,187 I can remember your first day of kindergarten. 430 00:21:44,189 --> 00:21:46,155 You burst through those front doors, 431 00:21:46,157 --> 00:21:48,024 you couldn't wait to get to the car and tell me 432 00:21:48,026 --> 00:21:50,526 everything about your day, and now you've been gone 433 00:21:50,528 --> 00:21:53,521 for a whole semester, and all I get is a "fine"? 434 00:21:53,523 --> 00:21:55,556 Bec, please. 435 00:22:08,578 --> 00:22:11,747 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna catch a bus back to D.C. 436 00:22:11,749 --> 00:22:13,414 What, wait, now, Randall? 437 00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:15,283 Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait... 438 00:22:15,285 --> 00:22:17,119 Dad, no. I thought I could do it. 439 00:22:17,121 --> 00:22:19,320 I thought enough time had passed and I'd be able to come back 440 00:22:19,322 --> 00:22:21,857 and things would be normal, but they're not. 441 00:22:21,859 --> 00:22:24,225 And they're never going to be. 442 00:22:24,227 --> 00:22:27,062 - I'm sorry. - Randall, don't leave, man. 443 00:22:27,064 --> 00:22:28,196 Randall, please stay. 444 00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:48,074 And my son, just 11 years old, he walks clear across town 445 00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:53,579 just so he can get his favorite girl her favorite doughnuts. 446 00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:55,413 - Aw... - It was in that moment, 447 00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:57,120 Kevin, that I knew you'd spend 448 00:22:57,122 --> 00:22:59,953 the rest of your life going the extra mile 449 00:22:59,955 --> 00:23:01,720 just to make Sophie happy. 450 00:23:01,722 --> 00:23:03,622 - I'm proud of you, son. - Thank you. 451 00:23:03,624 --> 00:23:05,925 Hear, hear. Cheers. 452 00:23:07,861 --> 00:23:10,262 Your dad is kind of a hottie. 453 00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:12,928 Uh, see, this is why I didn't want you coming with me. 454 00:23:12,930 --> 00:23:16,101 I'm just teasing. 455 00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:19,204 You're a lot to unpack, RP. 456 00:23:19,206 --> 00:23:20,737 Two years, and I've never once 457 00:23:20,739 --> 00:23:22,739 heard you talk about these people. 458 00:23:24,879 --> 00:23:27,169 Hey, let me show my face real quick, 459 00:23:27,171 --> 00:23:29,415 then we can get out of here, all right? 460 00:23:29,417 --> 00:23:30,615 Mmm. 461 00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:33,723 Thank you very much for coming. 462 00:23:33,725 --> 00:23:36,015 Hey, Kev. 463 00:23:36,017 --> 00:23:37,482 - Hey. - Congrats, man. 464 00:23:37,484 --> 00:23:39,417 - Oh, thank you. Thanks. - Really happy for you. 465 00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:42,021 - Happy you came. - Yeah, man. 466 00:23:42,023 --> 00:23:46,258 Um, Dad told me Big Three had a killer quarter. 467 00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:48,260 - That's great. - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we did. 468 00:23:48,262 --> 00:23:49,895 We got the city to commission two houses. 469 00:23:49,897 --> 00:23:51,797 - Okay. - And, uh, yeah, we've been doing great. 470 00:23:51,799 --> 00:23:54,298 - I'm trying to convince the old man to retire. - Ah. 471 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,168 - Good luck with that. - Probably die with a hammer in his hands. 472 00:23:56,170 --> 00:23:57,803 That's what I always say. 473 00:23:57,805 --> 00:23:59,638 Yeah. 474 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,607 Uh... Oh, hey, I read in the paper you got the Brunel, 475 00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:04,960 uh, teaching award. That-That's-that's huge, man. 476 00:24:04,962 --> 00:24:06,411 - Thank you very much, man. - Yeah. 477 00:24:06,413 --> 00:24:07,506 No, work's been good. 478 00:24:07,508 --> 00:24:09,915 My students have been good. 479 00:24:09,917 --> 00:24:11,683 Students are g... I can see that. 480 00:24:11,685 --> 00:24:14,944 Uh, she's my T.A., man, it's nothing serious. 481 00:24:14,946 --> 00:24:16,542 Well, it's never serious with you, 482 00:24:16,544 --> 00:24:17,845 - brother, is it? - Ah... 483 00:24:17,847 --> 00:24:19,591 - Well, hey. - Look at this. 484 00:24:19,593 --> 00:24:22,594 - When did you sneak in? - Yeah, oh, just a sec ago. 485 00:24:22,596 --> 00:24:24,585 - Yeah? - And hi to this little lady. 486 00:24:24,587 --> 00:24:26,980 - Say hi. - Not so little anymore, huh? 487 00:24:26,982 --> 00:24:29,501 No. You want to go see Daddy? 488 00:24:29,503 --> 00:24:31,102 Here, you go see Daddy. 489 00:24:31,104 --> 00:24:32,837 That's a yes. 490 00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:34,639 - See you later. - Go see Daddy. 491 00:24:34,641 --> 00:24:38,009 - Oh, man. Time flies. - Mm. 492 00:24:38,011 --> 00:24:40,679 I know. Oh, wait, did Kev tell you? 493 00:24:40,681 --> 00:24:43,746 - Tell me what? - About going to the cabin for Fourth of July? 494 00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:45,049 We're gonna have a big blowout. 495 00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:46,790 - Ah... - Ethan said he'd watch the girls, 496 00:24:46,792 --> 00:24:49,453 so, you know, I thought we'd have a Big Three soirée? 497 00:24:49,455 --> 00:24:53,290 No, that sounds great. Um, but with schedules and... 498 00:24:53,292 --> 00:24:55,292 I don't know, let me think about it, yeah? 499 00:24:55,294 --> 00:24:57,494 All right. 500 00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,496 - Okay. - Just let him think about it. 501 00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:02,266 - Kev... - What's wrong with saying I'll think about it? 502 00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:04,737 Nothing. Nothing. You do it all the time. 503 00:25:04,739 --> 00:25:06,537 You think about it and then you never show up. 504 00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:07,840 - Mm-hmm. - I'm-I'm curious, like, 505 00:25:07,842 --> 00:25:09,173 why did you even bother coming today? 506 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:10,571 - 'Cause Dad asked me to. - Uh, Dad asked you to? 507 00:25:10,573 --> 00:25:11,602 - Oh, well, glad you came. - Yeah. 508 00:25:11,604 --> 00:25:13,310 - Thank you for gracing us with your presence. - Guys. 509 00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:14,712 - Thanks, Randall. It's been wonderful. - Guys. 510 00:25:14,714 --> 00:25:16,714 - I'm not talking about... - Hey, boys? 511 00:25:16,716 --> 00:25:18,908 Whatever you're talking about can probably wait 512 00:25:18,910 --> 00:25:21,017 until our guests leave. 513 00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:22,719 Yeah. 514 00:25:22,721 --> 00:25:24,818 Hi, Randall. 515 00:25:24,820 --> 00:25:26,285 - Hey, Mom. - Hi. 516 00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:29,875 You know, I was just about to leave, anyway. 517 00:25:29,877 --> 00:25:31,628 I got a lecture in the morning, so... 518 00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:33,596 Right. 519 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,060 _ 520 00:26:10,474 --> 00:26:16,506 _ 521 00:26:21,882 --> 00:26:27,027 _ 522 00:26:33,860 --> 00:26:38,431 _ 523 00:27:08,491 --> 00:27:10,892 Ah. 524 00:27:10,894 --> 00:27:13,127 So, lesson plans are on your nightstand. 525 00:27:13,129 --> 00:27:15,763 - Mm-hmm. - And I've uploaded the fall semester grades. 526 00:27:15,765 --> 00:27:17,631 - You're the best. - Mm-hmm. 527 00:27:18,835 --> 00:27:20,534 Mm. 528 00:27:23,506 --> 00:27:25,340 Hey, Dad. 529 00:27:25,342 --> 00:27:27,575 Hey, son. Catch you at a bad time? 530 00:27:27,577 --> 00:27:29,911 No. Just got in from a run. 531 00:27:29,913 --> 00:27:32,813 I don't have a lecture till noon. What's up? 532 00:27:33,850 --> 00:27:38,253 Well... Thanksgiving is next week. 533 00:27:38,255 --> 00:27:41,455 I was hoping you'd come home. 534 00:27:41,457 --> 00:27:44,759 - Dad. - You're just... y-you're so far away. 535 00:27:44,761 --> 00:27:47,830 You should be with your family for the holiday. 536 00:27:52,101 --> 00:27:53,768 Randall, 537 00:27:53,770 --> 00:27:56,003 it's been a long time. 538 00:27:56,005 --> 00:28:01,174 You're gonna have to forgive her at some point, son. 539 00:28:02,211 --> 00:28:05,846 She's not well, Randall. 540 00:28:05,848 --> 00:28:08,916 Not well? What do you mean? 541 00:28:08,918 --> 00:28:10,751 A few months ago, 542 00:28:10,753 --> 00:28:16,056 I started to notice things... just little things. 543 00:28:16,058 --> 00:28:20,460 She'd forget where she put her keys or her phone. 544 00:28:20,462 --> 00:28:22,595 She couldn't remember the name of a movie 545 00:28:22,597 --> 00:28:24,431 that we had just seen... 546 00:28:58,967 --> 00:29:00,967 I'm done. 547 00:29:00,969 --> 00:29:04,003 I don't want to do this anymore. 548 00:29:09,590 --> 00:29:11,456 I mean, what exactly are we doing here? 549 00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:14,203 What is the point of this exercise? 550 00:29:14,205 --> 00:29:18,707 I need you to acknowledge that even if your father had lived, 551 00:29:18,709 --> 00:29:21,209 that every moment in your life after that 552 00:29:21,211 --> 00:29:22,724 could have gone a million different ways. 553 00:29:22,726 --> 00:29:26,151 - I'm aware of that. - You're aware that you don't 554 00:29:26,153 --> 00:29:29,051 control the outcomes of every situation in your life? 555 00:29:29,053 --> 00:29:30,676 Yes. 556 00:29:30,678 --> 00:29:34,455 In your fantasy, you were the one 557 00:29:34,457 --> 00:29:37,524 who stopped your father from going back in the house. 558 00:29:37,526 --> 00:29:40,627 Why are you so sure you could've stopped him? 559 00:29:40,629 --> 00:29:43,430 Dad, if you go back in that house, so help me, God, 560 00:29:43,432 --> 00:29:45,933 I'll go through that front door and get you myself! 561 00:29:53,009 --> 00:29:54,508 Just stay there, I'll be right back! 562 00:29:54,510 --> 00:29:56,543 Jack! Jack! 563 00:29:56,545 --> 00:29:58,645 But it wasn't the fire that killed him. 564 00:29:58,647 --> 00:30:00,748 It was his heart. 565 00:30:00,750 --> 00:30:02,482 I could've gone to the hospital with him. 566 00:30:02,484 --> 00:30:05,119 I should've been there. 567 00:30:10,626 --> 00:30:13,326 I'm gonna try and go find a pay phone and call Kate, 568 00:30:13,328 --> 00:30:15,228 - see if they've found Kevin. - Okay. 569 00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:16,830 Okay. 570 00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:27,340 I can't believe 571 00:30:27,342 --> 00:30:29,909 the Broncos won the... 572 00:30:32,848 --> 00:30:34,513 Dad? You... 573 00:30:34,515 --> 00:30:36,616 Something's wrong. 574 00:30:36,618 --> 00:30:38,351 Something's not right. 575 00:30:38,353 --> 00:30:42,722 You said he had a widowmaker heart attack, right? 576 00:30:42,724 --> 00:30:44,724 That's right. 577 00:30:44,726 --> 00:30:46,726 So, even if you were there, 578 00:30:46,728 --> 00:30:48,794 you might not have been able to save him. 579 00:30:48,796 --> 00:30:51,533 Unless you're gonna tell me that, as a 17-year-old, 580 00:30:51,535 --> 00:30:54,199 you were trained in emergency cardiac resuscitation. 581 00:30:54,201 --> 00:30:56,201 I don't know, damn it, but I could've done something. 582 00:30:56,203 --> 00:30:58,804 That's what I do. I fix things. 583 00:30:58,806 --> 00:31:00,939 - You couldn't fix this. - Yeah, well at least I could've spent 584 00:31:00,941 --> 00:31:03,251 the last 20 years knowing that I tried. 585 00:31:05,346 --> 00:31:06,979 So, 586 00:31:06,981 --> 00:31:08,847 so you think that would've made a difference 587 00:31:08,849 --> 00:31:11,617 in how you processed his death? 588 00:31:11,619 --> 00:31:13,702 Knowing that you tried to save him? 589 00:31:13,704 --> 00:31:15,704 Yes! 590 00:31:16,957 --> 00:31:19,091 Why do you think that? 591 00:31:20,994 --> 00:31:23,261 Because I tried with William. 592 00:31:23,263 --> 00:31:26,864 And when it became clear to me that it was hurting 593 00:31:26,866 --> 00:31:31,202 more than it was helping, I was okay letting him choose to stop. 594 00:31:31,204 --> 00:31:33,004 Because we had tried. 595 00:31:36,410 --> 00:31:38,410 Okay. 596 00:31:39,479 --> 00:31:40,812 What? 597 00:31:40,814 --> 00:31:43,217 - Nothing, I said okay. - Mm-mm. 598 00:31:43,219 --> 00:31:46,610 Mm-mm. No, you don't think it's the same, right? 599 00:31:46,612 --> 00:31:49,639 But you don't think it's the same because I knew my dad 600 00:31:49,641 --> 00:31:51,922 my whole life and I knew William for less than a year, 601 00:31:51,924 --> 00:31:53,724 so the bond was different. 602 00:31:53,726 --> 00:31:56,727 Obviously it was easier for me to make peace with his death? 603 00:31:56,729 --> 00:31:58,705 Is that what you think? 604 00:31:58,707 --> 00:32:02,299 I-I think I lost two fathers. 605 00:32:02,301 --> 00:32:04,468 And I think if I'd had it my way, 606 00:32:04,470 --> 00:32:07,771 obviously I wouldn't have lost either one of them. 607 00:32:07,773 --> 00:32:10,040 So to answer your first question, yes, 608 00:32:10,042 --> 00:32:13,410 I'm fully aware that I'm just a-a cute little pawn 609 00:32:13,412 --> 00:32:16,046 on the universe's big giant chess board. 610 00:32:16,048 --> 00:32:17,448 I don't need an exercise 611 00:32:17,450 --> 00:32:19,550 from some overpriced therapist in cheap shoes 612 00:32:19,552 --> 00:32:21,017 to prove it to me. 613 00:32:24,357 --> 00:32:26,657 That was uncalled for. 614 00:32:26,659 --> 00:32:28,325 Sorry. 615 00:32:28,327 --> 00:32:30,994 Oh, please, I live for this stuff. 616 00:32:34,132 --> 00:32:36,555 It's interesting, Randall, 617 00:32:36,557 --> 00:32:39,035 how you see this entirely as 618 00:32:39,037 --> 00:32:41,437 an exercise about losing your father. 619 00:32:41,439 --> 00:32:43,560 Your fathers. Plural fathers. 620 00:32:43,562 --> 00:32:45,075 I don't follow. 621 00:32:45,077 --> 00:32:50,413 Actually, this whole exercise began because of a disagreement 622 00:32:50,415 --> 00:32:56,119 that you had with your brother over your mother's care. 623 00:32:56,121 --> 00:33:00,924 If you think about it, your life has really been defined 624 00:33:00,926 --> 00:33:03,126 by your mothers, hasn't it? 625 00:33:03,128 --> 00:33:05,561 The mother you lost at birth, 626 00:33:05,563 --> 00:33:08,030 who is barely a footnote in your story, 627 00:33:08,032 --> 00:33:10,948 and the mother who lied to you for 36 years. 628 00:33:10,950 --> 00:33:12,101 All right, look. 629 00:33:12,103 --> 00:33:15,571 William told me everything he knew about my birth mother. 630 00:33:15,573 --> 00:33:19,141 It was a romance that was sweet for a time, 631 00:33:19,143 --> 00:33:22,044 but it was short-lived and drug-addled. 632 00:33:22,046 --> 00:33:25,180 I'll never know much about her, 633 00:33:25,182 --> 00:33:29,051 I've accepted that long ago. 634 00:33:29,053 --> 00:33:31,487 As for my mother Rebecca... 635 00:33:33,558 --> 00:33:36,793 ... yeah, she lied to me. 636 00:33:36,795 --> 00:33:38,795 But I forgave her for that. 637 00:33:38,797 --> 00:33:41,763 And we've moved on. I've accepted that, too. 638 00:33:43,266 --> 00:33:44,365 Have you? 639 00:33:44,367 --> 00:33:45,801 Absolutely. 640 00:33:45,803 --> 00:33:47,502 It's behind us. 641 00:33:49,139 --> 00:33:50,171 It's... 642 00:33:50,173 --> 00:33:52,373 It's curious, though, 643 00:33:52,375 --> 00:33:56,606 that in both your scenarios of how your life 644 00:33:56,608 --> 00:33:59,213 would've played out if your father had lived... 645 00:33:59,215 --> 00:34:02,116 the first thing that happens after you save him, 646 00:34:02,118 --> 00:34:04,018 the first thing, 647 00:34:04,020 --> 00:34:07,121 is your mother tells the truth about William. 648 00:34:14,331 --> 00:34:17,197 Why do you think you're here in my office right now? 649 00:34:17,199 --> 00:34:18,499 I know, I know, 650 00:34:18,501 --> 00:34:20,668 because everybody who comes to therapy 651 00:34:20,670 --> 00:34:23,136 has these deep-seated mommy issues, right? 652 00:34:23,138 --> 00:34:26,206 I didn't say therapy. I said my office. 653 00:34:26,208 --> 00:34:27,641 My office. 654 00:34:28,845 --> 00:34:30,845 Do you know how many black men 655 00:34:30,847 --> 00:34:34,448 who can choose whatever therapist they want choose me? 656 00:34:34,450 --> 00:34:37,117 It's a very low number. 657 00:34:37,119 --> 00:34:39,719 You were highly recommended. 658 00:34:40,755 --> 00:34:43,556 Your mother and I are the same gender, 659 00:34:43,558 --> 00:34:44,958 we're the same race, 660 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:49,429 I'm probably around the same age she was when your father died. 661 00:34:49,431 --> 00:34:51,365 Another therapist... 662 00:34:51,367 --> 00:34:54,434 a good one, not an overpriced hack like me... 663 00:34:54,436 --> 00:34:58,020 might say you're looking for someone like your mother 664 00:34:58,022 --> 00:35:01,208 to help you process her. 665 00:35:01,210 --> 00:35:03,076 What she's done. 666 00:35:03,078 --> 00:35:05,345 Her illness. 667 00:35:12,221 --> 00:35:14,387 I'm not a neurologist, Randall, 668 00:35:14,389 --> 00:35:16,737 and I don't know your mother's condition. 669 00:35:16,739 --> 00:35:19,797 But I'm pretty sure you don't have all the time in the world 670 00:35:19,799 --> 00:35:23,934 to heal from the wounds that you have from her. 671 00:35:25,966 --> 00:35:27,466 So, what are you saying? 672 00:35:27,468 --> 00:35:31,870 What is the exact advice that you're giving me? 673 00:35:31,872 --> 00:35:33,839 I'm a therapist. 674 00:35:33,841 --> 00:35:35,541 I don't give advice. 675 00:35:35,543 --> 00:35:40,179 I offer observations and I pose questions. 676 00:35:40,181 --> 00:35:42,548 Observation. 677 00:35:42,550 --> 00:35:46,052 Even in the worst version of your life, 678 00:35:46,054 --> 00:35:48,553 you still protect your mother, 679 00:35:48,555 --> 00:35:50,955 you still redeem her in the end. 680 00:35:52,259 --> 00:35:54,459 Question. 681 00:35:54,461 --> 00:35:58,163 Have you ever really confronted your mother 682 00:35:58,165 --> 00:36:01,266 about what she did to you? 683 00:36:01,268 --> 00:36:03,535 About what she kept from you? 684 00:36:14,710 --> 00:36:16,209 Hey. 685 00:36:16,211 --> 00:36:20,413 It took six episodes, but it finally makes sense. 686 00:36:20,415 --> 00:36:22,179 - And, baby... - Huh? 687 00:36:22,181 --> 00:36:24,181 I might be leaving you for Yahya. 688 00:36:24,183 --> 00:36:28,018 Ah... I thought we was gonna binge Watchmen together. 689 00:36:28,020 --> 00:36:30,454 You okay? 690 00:36:30,456 --> 00:36:32,189 You look exhausted. 691 00:36:33,593 --> 00:36:38,551 Turns out I'm still holding on to some residual resentments 692 00:36:38,553 --> 00:36:40,765 about my mom keeping William from me. 693 00:36:40,767 --> 00:36:42,933 Well, hell, I could've told you that. 694 00:36:42,935 --> 00:36:45,770 - How much we paying this lady? - Mm-hmm. 695 00:37:03,522 --> 00:37:06,223 What was that for? 696 00:37:06,225 --> 00:37:09,092 I am very proud of you. 697 00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:16,967 - Okay. - Okay. 698 00:37:16,969 --> 00:37:18,969 - All right. - Here we go. 699 00:37:20,272 --> 00:37:23,773 Uh... half of a square? 700 00:37:23,775 --> 00:37:26,310 I'm gonna need more than that. That's... that's nothing. 701 00:37:26,312 --> 00:37:28,790 It's, uh... it's the train tracks from, 702 00:37:28,792 --> 00:37:30,479 uh... it's... 703 00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,214 - How do you... ? - What is it?! 704 00:37:32,216 --> 00:37:34,354 It's Mission to Mars. Mission... Mission to Mars. 705 00:37:34,356 --> 00:37:36,451 Of course, obviously, yeah, it's Mission to Mars. 706 00:37:36,453 --> 00:37:37,886 - It looks like an 11. - There's no mission, 707 00:37:37,888 --> 00:37:38,984 - there's no Mars. - My turn, 708 00:37:38,986 --> 00:37:40,979 but you're gonna go for me, because my phone's ringing. 709 00:37:40,981 --> 00:37:42,358 - Okay? Do me proud. - Okay. 710 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,417 I will definitely do better than Toby's impressionistic 711 00:37:44,419 --> 00:37:45,674 - spaceship. - Clearly, it's a r... 712 00:37:45,676 --> 00:37:47,269 it's a rocket ship going up into... 713 00:37:47,271 --> 00:37:49,006 You know what? I would kill it on Fallon, I don't care what... 714 00:37:49,008 --> 00:37:50,333 Hi, sweetheart. 715 00:37:50,335 --> 00:37:52,101 Hey, Mom. 716 00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:54,103 Wow, it's late out there. 717 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:56,138 Is everything okay with Beth and the girls? 718 00:37:56,140 --> 00:37:57,706 Yeah, yeah, they're fine. 719 00:37:57,708 --> 00:37:58,739 Asleep. 720 00:37:58,741 --> 00:38:01,343 Was just calling to talk. 721 00:38:01,345 --> 00:38:03,711 Haven't really done that since New York. 722 00:38:03,713 --> 00:38:04,879 Yeah. 723 00:38:04,881 --> 00:38:07,015 I know. How are you? 724 00:38:07,017 --> 00:38:09,050 I'm good. 725 00:38:09,052 --> 00:38:13,054 I just, uh, have been thinking a lot about your decision. 726 00:38:13,056 --> 00:38:15,845 Oh, Randall, come on, sweetheart, 727 00:38:15,847 --> 00:38:17,292 I thought we had put that to bed. 728 00:38:17,294 --> 00:38:18,759 I told you, 729 00:38:18,761 --> 00:38:21,129 I have no interest in being away from the family. 730 00:38:21,131 --> 00:38:25,223 Okay? I-I respect the fact that you're passionate about it, 731 00:38:25,225 --> 00:38:26,279 but I really don't want to talk 732 00:38:26,281 --> 00:38:27,680 about the clinical trial anymore. 733 00:38:29,106 --> 00:38:31,379 Dr. Leigh, 734 00:38:31,381 --> 00:38:35,416 everything you've said makes sense. 735 00:38:36,646 --> 00:38:39,744 And I've probably known about it all for a while 736 00:38:39,746 --> 00:38:42,616 but haven't been able to... 737 00:38:42,618 --> 00:38:44,518 find it. 738 00:38:45,921 --> 00:38:48,889 I'm grateful to you for your help today. 739 00:38:48,891 --> 00:38:50,491 Mom, 740 00:38:50,493 --> 00:38:53,260 I've been a good son. 741 00:38:53,262 --> 00:38:55,762 And I never say stuff like that, 742 00:38:55,764 --> 00:38:58,832 but I know that I have been. 743 00:38:58,834 --> 00:39:01,101 After Dad died, 744 00:39:01,103 --> 00:39:03,037 I stayed at home. 745 00:39:03,039 --> 00:39:05,205 I took care of you. 746 00:39:05,207 --> 00:39:08,175 I have been a good son. 747 00:39:09,445 --> 00:39:10,634 I know you have. 748 00:39:10,636 --> 00:39:12,436 You've-you've always been. 749 00:39:13,215 --> 00:39:16,215 And I've let things go, Mom. 750 00:39:17,619 --> 00:39:19,218 Things... 751 00:39:19,220 --> 00:39:22,221 that were kept from me. 752 00:39:22,223 --> 00:39:24,886 Things that I should have resented you for, 753 00:39:24,888 --> 00:39:25,892 but I never did, 754 00:39:25,894 --> 00:39:29,963 because I knew that it would be painful for you. 755 00:39:29,965 --> 00:39:32,365 So I didn't. 756 00:39:33,368 --> 00:39:35,635 I know. 757 00:39:35,637 --> 00:39:38,171 I lost my father, 758 00:39:38,173 --> 00:39:41,660 and I couldn't stop it. 759 00:39:41,662 --> 00:39:43,719 I lost a second father, 760 00:39:43,721 --> 00:39:46,546 and I couldn't fix that either. 761 00:39:46,548 --> 00:39:49,949 And now my mother is sick, 762 00:39:49,951 --> 00:39:51,884 and there are options. 763 00:39:51,886 --> 00:39:55,287 I have never asked you for anything, Mom. 764 00:39:55,289 --> 00:39:57,585 Not in my entire life. 765 00:39:57,587 --> 00:39:59,491 I've never asked you for anything. 766 00:39:59,493 --> 00:40:04,029 But I'm gonna ask you for something now. 767 00:40:04,031 --> 00:40:08,906 Mom, you have to do this clinical trial. 768 00:40:08,908 --> 00:40:11,531 And I know you don't want to, 769 00:40:11,533 --> 00:40:13,205 but you have to. 770 00:40:13,207 --> 00:40:16,445 'Cause I don't want to be in a therapy session 771 00:40:16,447 --> 00:40:19,667 20 years from now, playing out scenarios, 772 00:40:19,669 --> 00:40:21,292 wishing that I had pushed harder, 773 00:40:21,294 --> 00:40:22,773 wishing that I had done more, 774 00:40:22,775 --> 00:40:24,011 'cause, maybe if I had, 775 00:40:24,013 --> 00:40:26,113 you would still be alive. 776 00:40:27,286 --> 00:40:30,287 I can't live with that, 777 00:40:30,289 --> 00:40:33,446 even if you can. 778 00:40:33,448 --> 00:40:35,256 I will come to therapy 779 00:40:35,258 --> 00:40:36,260 to work this through. 780 00:40:36,262 --> 00:40:39,263 I won't take it on alone. 781 00:40:40,266 --> 00:40:42,600 But I will not... 782 00:40:42,602 --> 00:40:47,404 relitigate what my mother did to me with William. 783 00:40:47,406 --> 00:40:51,048 I won't reopen that wound for her. 784 00:40:51,050 --> 00:40:54,307 I understand you think that hashing it out 785 00:40:54,309 --> 00:40:56,413 will bring me some kind of peace. 786 00:40:56,415 --> 00:40:58,735 Maybe you're right. I... 787 00:40:58,737 --> 00:41:00,903 I don't know. 788 00:41:02,087 --> 00:41:06,423 But I've already lost three parents. 789 00:41:06,425 --> 00:41:10,861 I know that losing my mother would break me. 790 00:41:12,665 --> 00:41:15,166 I can't lose her. 791 00:41:17,002 --> 00:41:21,672 I will do anything to keep that from happening. 792 00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:24,569 I'll do whatever 793 00:41:24,571 --> 00:41:26,099 it takes. 794 00:41:26,101 --> 00:41:28,664 I've been a good son, Mom. 795 00:41:28,666 --> 00:41:30,517 I've been a good son, 796 00:41:30,519 --> 00:41:33,283 and I've never asked you for anything. But I am 797 00:41:33,285 --> 00:41:36,619 asking you for this now. 798 00:41:37,722 --> 00:41:40,122 And I need you to say it. 799 00:41:41,226 --> 00:41:44,194 You are going to St. Louis. 800 00:41:44,196 --> 00:41:47,697 You are going to do this clinical trial. 801 00:42:05,776 --> 00:42:07,032 Okay. 802 00:42:08,586 --> 00:42:13,089 I will go to St. Louis, and I will do the trial. 803 00:42:23,313 --> 00:42:24,713 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -