1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,088
[adult Sheldon] <i>Previously on</i>
Young Sheldon...

2
00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:07,175
All right. Let me start by saying
that I owe you an apology.

3
00:00:07,258 --> 00:00:09,969
I want you to know
that I'm trying to change.

4
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,805
- What do you want from me?
- One more chance.

5
00:00:12,931 --> 00:00:14,807
Thanks again
for giving me another shot.

6
00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:17,936
Well, I'm trying to get better
at forgiving people.

7
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:19,371
Well, I'm glad to hear you say that.

8
00:00:19,395 --> 00:00:21,648
<i>'Cause I'm the one
who egged your store last night.</i>

9
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,317
Forgiving people sucks.

10
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,861
- Should we say grace?
- Heck, yeah.

11
00:00:26,945 --> 00:00:29,364
Oh, cool. Let's say grace.

12
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:33,326
- [Georgie] Well?
- It's very... colorful.

13
00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:34,619
Check out the best part.

14
00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:39,707
Wanna try it out?

15
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,545
[adult Sheldon]
<i>As long as I can remember,</i>

16
00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:46,965
<i>unlocking the mechanisms
that govern the physical universe</i>

17
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,633
<i>was my greatest passion.</i>

18
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,136
- What you working on?
<i>- Dungeons & Dragons.</i>

19
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,931
<i>Hey, even Hawking took a roll
through the park once in a while.</i>

20
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:57,809
I'm working on a new campaign
to play with Tam and Billy.

21
00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,645
- You know how I feel about that game.
- I'm aware.

22
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,565
Which is why the most wicked thing
in it is my sense of humor.

23
00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:05,567
- [doorbell rings]
- [sighs]

24
00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:06,776
I still don't like it,

25
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:10,363
but you are playing with other kids,
so I'll take it as a win.

26
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,633
[adult Sheldon]
<i>Notjust playing with other kids.</i>

27
00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:15,827
<i>Controlling every aspect
of their destiny</i>

28
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:18,246
<i>as their Dungeon Master overlord.</i>

29
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:21,416
<i>I didn't believe in God,
but I sure loved acting like one.</i>

30
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,961
- Hey, Mary.
- Wayne, come on in.

31
00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:26,129
Thank you.

32
00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,256
George just ran
to pick up some beers.

33
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:29,882
It's funny when he runs, ain't it?

34
00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:31,676
Oh, hey, Darlene wanted to know

35
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,928
if you were gonna
pack anything nice to wear.

36
00:01:34,012 --> 00:01:36,514
- For what?
- The coaches' conference.

37
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,392
I wasn't going to that.
Darlene's going?

38
00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:41,227
A free weekend in San Antonio?

39
00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:43,646
[laughs] A hotel on the river?
Of course she's going.

40
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:44,772
Oh.

41
00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:48,484
- Did George not invite you?
- No. He didn't.

42
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,776
- Honestly...
- [door opens]

43
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,363
...what is wrong with that man?

44
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:52,905
Game time.

45
00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:56,993
What?

46
00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:59,871
Mom's just mad
I'm playing <i>Dungeons & Dragons.</i>

47
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:00,955
Oh, good.

48
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:04,125
[theme song playing]

49
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:24,145
[George] I didn't know
he was bringing his wife.

50
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:27,273
And of course it didn't even
occur to you to ask me?

51
00:02:27,357 --> 00:02:28,524
Well, no.

52
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,456
But isn't that better than thinking
about it and then not doing it?

53
00:02:31,736 --> 00:02:33,321
They both make you a jerk.

54
00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:36,491
[sighs] Since when are you interested
in a coaches' conference?

55
00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:41,371
I am interested in a weekend
at a nice hotel by a river.

56
00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:43,623
Hotel is pretty nice.

57
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:49,128
- What's up?
- Watching the game with your dad.

58
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,212
Where is he?

59
00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:53,049
- Getting yelled at by your mom.
- Cool.

60
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,930
Any chance you might wanna
watch the kids this weekend?

61
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,015
- Sure. No problem.
- Good.

62
00:03:01,099 --> 00:03:02,767
I thought you and Dale
might have plans.

63
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:06,646
We might hang out, but...
That's fine.

64
00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:08,064
Something going on?

65
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:09,856
Mmm-mmm.

66
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,068
Sounds like something.

67
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:17,615
Well, he's trying to be
a better person...

68
00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:20,076
and it's weird.

69
00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:22,870
- Weird how?
- Just doesn't seem natural.

70
00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:24,664
I don't follow.

71
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,500
Like when you see
a dancing bear at the circus,

72
00:03:28,418 --> 00:03:31,713
and you know it just wants to
rip some clown's head off.

73
00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:35,717
- That's graphic.
- Where y'all going?

74
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:38,594
George has a coaches' conference
in San Antonio.

75
00:03:38,678 --> 00:03:41,222
Ah, and you weaseled your way in.
Good for you.

76
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:43,641
- I didn't weasel.
- So it was his idea?

77
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,268
Not exactly.

78
00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:48,646
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a weasel.

79
00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:50,273
[laughs]

80
00:03:50,815 --> 00:03:51,983
Congratulations.

81
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,989
[rock music playing on radio]

82
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,410
- Getting ready for your trip?
- Yep.

83
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,220
Dale told me you were
taking his camper.

84
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,706
Yeah. Gonna head down
with Wayne and his wife.

85
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:08,416
Cool.

86
00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:13,254
Just out of curiosity,
when exactly are you and Mom leaving,

87
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,214
and when exactly
are y'all coming back?

88
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:17,091
You're not bringing
your girlfriend here.

89
00:04:17,175 --> 00:04:19,761
Excuse me for taking an interest
in your life.

90
00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,430
Besides, your grandma will be here
the whole time.

91
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,599
Never mind.

92
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:28,436
Wait. So her house will be empty?

93
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:30,605
Look, I used to be your age.

94
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,857
But can you try thinking
with your brain for once?

95
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,526
If you used to be my age,
I think you know the answer to that.

96
00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:42,950
All right, baby.
We're leaving here in a few minutes,

97
00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:46,412
but we'll be back on Sunday,
and your Meemaw will be here.

98
00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:51,042
- Sheldon?
- What?

99
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:54,045
- We're leaving.
- Where are you going?

100
00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:58,466
- To San Antonio.
- When are you leaving?

101
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,843
- In a few minutes.
- When will you get back?

102
00:05:00,927 --> 00:05:03,221
- Sunday.
- But who's going to watch us?

103
00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:06,140
- Meemaw.
- Okay. Bye.

104
00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:08,518
Can you at least give me a hug?

105
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:11,646
I can.

106
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:15,733
Hey. Just finishing up.

107
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:18,277
See you again soon.

108
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:25,284
- How you doing?
- All right, I guess. Dale here?

109
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,869
He went to go hang out
with my Meemaw.

110
00:05:26,953 --> 00:05:29,872
Who, by the way, is at my house
all weekend, so that's a no-go.

111
00:05:29,956 --> 00:05:31,082
Okay.

112
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,710
What do you wanna do later?
Movies? Putt-putt?

113
00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:37,004
I was thinking
maybe we could go get a test.

114
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:41,175
- What kinda test?
- The pregnancy kind.

115
00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:44,762
We're closed.

116
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,639
- But the sign says...
- We're closed.

117
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:54,897
[sighs with dismay]

118
00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:56,732
This can't be happening.
How sure are you?

119
00:05:56,816 --> 00:05:58,544
I'm not sure.
That's why I wanna get the test.

120
00:05:58,568 --> 00:06:01,821
- Well, you don't look pregnant.
- That's not how it works, Georgie.

121
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,824
I know.
I'm just freaking out right now.

122
00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,034
- Let's just go to the drugstore.
- Right.

123
00:06:07,577 --> 00:06:09,996
- I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
- Please don't say that.

124
00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,456
So, you've stayed
at this hotel before?

125
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,791
Oh, yeah. It's nice.

126
00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:17,211
They got an indoor pool,
killer breakfast buffet.

127
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,672
There's even a real nice gym
I walk right past

128
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,299
on the way to the breakfast buffet.

129
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,050
Why didn't you tell me
there was a pool?

130
00:06:23,134 --> 00:06:24,486
I would have brought my bathing suit.

131
00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:27,054
Hotels have pools.
Didn't think I needed to mention it.

132
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,682
Well, it would have been nice
if you did.

133
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:32,560
They also have beds in the rooms.
Did you remember your pajamas?

134
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,979
Okay.
You don't have to act like that.

135
00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:37,374
You don't need to blame me
'cause you forgot your bathing suit.

136
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,275
Well, I guess we're not
going in the pool.

137
00:06:41,027 --> 00:06:43,696
Maybe you're not. I packed my suit.

138
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:46,324
Are you gonna behave like this
all weekend?

139
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:49,285
Responsible and fun-loving? Probably.

140
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:53,331
You are such a... monkey butt.

141
00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:58,210
Come on. There's gotta be a more
insulting name you can call me.

142
00:06:58,294 --> 00:06:59,503
I am sure there is,

143
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:02,267
but they're about to get in and they
do not need to hear us arguing.

144
00:07:02,632 --> 00:07:05,092
Whoo-whee! [laughs]

145
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:07,428
- Hey, Mary.
- Darlene, good to see you.

146
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,640
- Hey. George, how's it going?
- Good, good.

147
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:13,184
We were definitely not arguing
ten seconds ago.

148
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,065
I figured we'd order pizza.

149
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,858
- Okay.
- What do you want on it?

150
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:27,615
Everything except onions,
green peppers, mushrooms, spinach...

151
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,075
No vegetables. Got it.

152
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:32,328
- How about a little salad, too?
- If you like wasting money.

153
00:07:33,204 --> 00:07:34,914
Spoken like a true Texan.

154
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,750
- So, what's Sheldon like?
- A pain in the ass.

155
00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:41,212
No. He means what does Sheldon like
on his pizza.

156
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:42,963
Oh.

157
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,967
[yells] Sheldon, what do you want
on your pizza?

158
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:48,302
- Still glad you came?
- Actually, I am.

159
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:52,348
- I don't want any pizza.
- See? Pain in the ass.

160
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,517
Well, we can get something else.

161
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,394
I don't want anything.
I'm not hungry.

162
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:57,561
Well, what's the matter?

163
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,982
My friends were supposed to play
<i>Dungeons & Dragons</i> with me,

164
00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,108
but they canceled.

165
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,693
Aw, I'm sorry.

166
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,737
- We could play with you.
- Really?

167
00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:10,700
Dale, that's nice,
but I don't think you'll like it.

168
00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:13,661
- Afraid I might beat you?
- Actually, there's no one winner.

169
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:16,163
It's a cooperative game
where you use your imagination

170
00:08:16,247 --> 00:08:17,581
to explore a fantasy world

171
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:20,501
with the help of the Dungeon Master's
pre-planned scenarios

172
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,420
and the rolling of polyhedral dice.

173
00:08:23,838 --> 00:08:27,925
- Still sound fun?
- Yeah. Sort of.

174
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:35,975
I got it.

175
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,351
- Anybody see you?
- No.

176
00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:39,355
And I didn't recognize
the guy behind the counter

177
00:08:39,437 --> 00:08:41,397
but I used an Italian accent
just in case.

178
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:45,484
- Please tell me you're joking.
- [Italian accent] Oh, I'm-a no joking.

179
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,612
- Oh, God.
- Here. Do it.

180
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,573
I can't do it here.
I have to pee on it.

181
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,116
Okay, fine.

182
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:55,244
Although we've done crazier stuff
in this truck.

183
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,456
By the way, I made
reservations tonight

184
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,291
at that steak house
on the River Walk.

185
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:01,876
Ooh, fancy.

186
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,962
Oh, yeah. Nothing says fancy
like a two-pound slab of meat.

187
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:07,923
[chuckles] Oh, shoot.
I didn't pack my dress shoes.

188
00:09:08,007 --> 00:09:09,216
See, George?

189
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,862
It might be helpful if you mentioned
some of these things ahead of time.

190
00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:12,928
Here we go.

191
00:09:13,012 --> 00:09:14,847
Wayne's always doing stuff like this.

192
00:09:15,139 --> 00:09:16,807
I'm glad to know it's not just us.

193
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,185
That's why
I packed his shoes last night.

194
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,772
You did? Baby, you're the best.

195
00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:24,774
Well, how can I be the best
when you are?

196
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,485
It is just us.

197
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:30,780
So how does this work?

198
00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:32,698
You start by creating your character.

199
00:09:32,782 --> 00:09:35,117
I wanna be
a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.

200
00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:37,536
Put me down for that, too.

201
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,914
You have to choose from
one of the character classes.

202
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:42,083
There's Thief, Druid,
Paladin, Wizard...

203
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:44,543
- The Wizard. I want that.
- All right.

204
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,669
Then I'll use my magic

205
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:48,214
to turn me into
a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.

206
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:51,592
- No.
- Wait... What's a Paladin?

207
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,678
A Paladin is a holy knight
who crusades in the name of good.

208
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:58,265
- I like that. I wanna be that.
- Really?

209
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:02,186
Yeah. I've been meaning to do more
crusading in the name of good.

210
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:08,192
Okay. You say you got Thief
on that list? I'll be a Thief.

211
00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:10,653
That sounds like fun.

212
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,282
Okay, I think I got it.
It takes ten minutes for the results.

213
00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:17,952
- You want me to go in with you?
- To watch me pee on a stick?

214
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,204
I'm being supportive right now.
You could try the same.

215
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:21,497
[huffs]

216
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,297
[heart beating loudly]

217
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,762
I'm pregnant.
You sure I'm not too heavy?

218
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,097
No. I got it.

219
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,601
I guess it's time to do what people
do on their wedding night.

220
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:46,188
Georgie, we're gonna be parents.
We don't do that anymore.

221
00:10:46,272 --> 00:10:47,273
Oh. Right.

222
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,442
Besides, my water just broke
all over your bed.

223
00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:51,861
Dad gum it.

224
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,698
Stop having fun and help me
take care of these babies.

225
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:58,075
But I just got home from my day job.

226
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,244
And I only have ten minutes
to my night job.

227
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,721
That's ten minutes
you could be helping.

228
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,581
Now go change whichever this one is.

229
00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:09,920
Georgie, there's a band called
Guns N' Roses on the phone.

230
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:12,423
- Really?
- Yeah.

231
00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:15,593
The guitarist hurt his hand,
and they want you to fill in.

232
00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:21,640
- Tell them I can't. I'm a dad now.
- Okay.

233
00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,313
This is a long ten minutes.

234
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:39,241
Ooh, this camper is so cool.

235
00:11:39,325 --> 00:11:41,285
We borrowed it
from my mom's boyfriend.

236
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,579
Yeah, you might not want to
poke around too much.

237
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,457
You find my mother-in-law's bra,
I'm driving into a brick wall.

238
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,001
Maybe we get one of these.

239
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,545
Spend our summers driving around,
just the two of us.

240
00:11:51,629 --> 00:11:53,130
That sounds amazing.

241
00:11:53,214 --> 00:11:55,257
- Where would we go first?
- Does it even matter?

242
00:11:55,341 --> 00:11:57,181
We don't even have to
take it out the driveway.

243
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,303
You got that right.

244
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,639
- Can you guys not do that?
- Do what?

245
00:12:02,056 --> 00:12:04,767
Be so happy.
You're married. Act like it.

246
00:12:06,936 --> 00:12:09,605
- How do you put up with him?
- It's a good question.

247
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:12,274
- What's your secret?
- [both] Communication.

248
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,485
Oh, God.

249
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:20,532
Well?

250
00:12:21,242 --> 00:12:23,244
- I'm not.
- Really?

251
00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:26,163
- We're good.
- Thank God.

252
00:12:30,376 --> 00:12:32,419
- What a relief.
- I know.

253
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:34,922
We better stop hugging

254
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,924
or you're gonna need
another stick to pee on.

255
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:40,386
You enter a dark and musty crypt.

256
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:44,556
Torches along the walls fill the room
with a flickering light.

257
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:48,018
In the center of the room
is a mysterious, glowing chest.

258
00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:50,437
- What do you do?
- I open the chest.

259
00:12:50,688 --> 00:12:51,981
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

260
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,525
It's a chest
in the middle of a crypt.

261
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,360
It's a little suspicious,
don't you think?

262
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,821
I don't know.
I'm not even sure what a crypt is.

263
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,030
Aah!

264
00:13:00,114 --> 00:13:01,740
It could be booby-trapped.

265
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,702
<i>Thieves have the ability
to check for traps.</i>

266
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,037
- Good for me. I can do that.
- Hold it.

267
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,416
This chest does not belong to us.

268
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,544
- So?
- I'm a Paladin.

269
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:17,506
It's not a very
Paladin-y thing to do.

270
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:20,801
You didn't wanna steal the key,
you didn't wanna fight the goblins.

271
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,594
You wouldn't even kill the spider.

272
00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:24,722
You put it in a cup
and took it outside.

273
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,224
- That wasn't in the game.
- I know.

274
00:13:27,308 --> 00:13:29,601
It was in real life, which is worse.

275
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:33,314
Could me and your Meemaw
have a little privacy, please?

276
00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:35,482
We can leave,
but we're still gonna listen.

277
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:37,276
Also, you find no traps.

278
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:41,363
What is your problem?

279
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,198
You act like Mr. Goody Two Shoes

280
00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:45,117
and you expect me to believe
that's real?

281
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,077
- Yeah.
- Well, I don't.

282
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,910
Sheldon said there were no traps.
[dismissive snort]

283
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,751
Now, I know it's hokey,
but at least once a day,

284
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:57,546
Darlene and I say one thing
that we appreciate about each other.

285
00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:00,966
Isn't that sweet?
It was Wayne's idea.

286
00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:04,428
- I appreciate you saying that.
- And I'm gonna vomit.

287
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,641
It's fine.
We know we appreciate each other.

288
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,269
Mary, is it fine?

289
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:16,732
I guess it wouldn't hurt to hear it
once in a while.

290
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:18,734
George?

291
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,738
- What? Now?
- You got something better to do?

292
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:25,449
- Come on, George.
- This is ridiculous.

293
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,950
Just do it, you baby.

294
00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,831
Fine. Mary, I appreciate you.

295
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,209
That's the best you can do?

296
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:39,630
Baby, do you have any
single friends for this poor woman?

297
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:45,677
Mary, I appreciate how much
you take care of the house...

298
00:14:46,804 --> 00:14:47,930
and all of us.

299
00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:50,474
I know it's not easy.

300
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:55,687
Thank you. That means a lot.

301
00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:59,066
I love it. Mary, you're up.

302
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,736
Well, George...

303
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,658
I appreciate how hard you work.

304
00:15:08,826 --> 00:15:11,870
I know you make
a lot of sacrifices for us

305
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:14,373
and you don't get
enough credit for that.

306
00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:20,212
Thank you.

307
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:28,053
Now let's hear
how much you appreciate me

308
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:29,263
for fixing your marriage.

309
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,090
- Shut up, Wayne.
- [chuckles]

310
00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:35,811
I wonder who came up
with blue raspberry.

311
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,146
Raspberries ain't blue.

312
00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:39,440
- It should be blueberry.
- You'd think.

313
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:42,568
But blueberries ain't blue either.
They're purple.

314
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,280
The whole blue food situation
in this country needs some work.

315
00:15:46,697 --> 00:15:47,697
[laughs]

316
00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:49,575
So what do you wanna do?

317
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:52,077
Probably something
with our clothes on.

318
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:54,872
- No kidding. That was scary.
- Terrifying.

319
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,748
I was afraid
I was gonna have to marry you.

320
00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:00,043
- Afraid?
- Shaking in my boots.

321
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,380
And what exactly would be so terrible
about marrying me?

322
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,757
I didn't say terrible.

323
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,594
You can be afraid of things
that are great.

324
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,053
Like what?

325
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,222
Uh...

326
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,224
Oh, rollercoasters.

327
00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:18,353
- You're an idiot.
- Rollercoaster's a good answer.

328
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,523
I didn't say sharks,
which is what I thought of first.

329
00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:24,860
- You're making it worse.
- How is it worse? I didn't say it.

330
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,489
Rollercoasters is a good answer.

331
00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:31,533
What happened to you?
You used to be fun.

332
00:16:31,617 --> 00:16:34,036
Come on. I'm playing this stupid game
with your grandkids.

333
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,120
That's rude.

334
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:37,581
Cut the crap.
We both know this isn't you.

335
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,209
- Oh, I can't win with you.
- What does that mean?

336
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:42,294
- Forget it.
- No, I'm not gonna forget it.

337
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:43,587
- Talk to me.
- I don't wanna.

338
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,924
- Missy, help me out here.
- Communication is important.

339
00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:48,800
I learned that
on the <i>Fresh Prince</i> show.

340
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:49,967
[grumbles]

341
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:55,182
I asked you to marry me
and you turned me down flat.

342
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:57,059
Are you still mad about that?

343
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,019
Hell, yeah, I'm still mad about that.

344
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:02,064
- He proposed?
- He just said he did. Pay attention.

345
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:04,775
And you didn't even
take it seriously.

346
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,528
I didn't take it seriously
because you were drunk.

347
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:11,073
That's when I'm the most honest.
You can ask anybody at the bar.

348
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:13,367
Okay, fine.
That still doesn't change the fact

349
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,345
that I'm not interested
in getting married again.

350
00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,285
Why not?

351
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,540
I don't have to
explain myself to you.

352
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:21,041
- I'd like to know.
- And I'd like to play <i>D&D.</i>

353
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,834
We've been through this.

354
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,337
I like my life just the way it is,

355
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:28,173
and if you can't work with that
then, well...

356
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:32,636
- Well, what?
- Tough knuckles.

357
00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:34,513
Whoa.

358
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,097
Huh.

359
00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:38,183
Well, that's good then.

360
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:41,937
I don't have to pretend to be
Mr. Water-Drinking Nice Guy anymore.

361
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,189
[chuckles] That's what
I've been trying to tell you.

362
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:49,653
Yeah. Well, will you all excuse me?

363
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:54,825
- Where are you going?
- I'm gonna get myself a beer.

364
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:59,204
So you're standing in a crypt
looking at a locked chest.

365
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:01,957
- What do you?
- [Dale] Pull a beer out of it.

366
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,339
Get out of my way.

367
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:13,510
I'm a Thief
and I'm opening this chest.

368
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:16,471
Have at it.
I'm a Paladin with a buzz on.

369
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:23,353
Success.
The chest opens, revealing a scroll

370
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:26,481
with ancient writing in a strange
language you don't recognize.

371
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:27,899
What do you do?

372
00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:29,401
I say this is boring...

373
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,654
And turn myself into
a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.

374
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:36,658
<i>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles</i>

375
00:18:36,742 --> 00:18:38,243
This game just got good.

376
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,495
- High five.
- Yeah.

377
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:41,913
<i>Heroes in a half shell</i>

378
00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:43,039
<i>Turtle power!</i>

379
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:50,213
[theme music playing]