1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,509
Look at him. Breaks my heart.
2
00:00:05,510 --> 00:00:08,329
Poor little guy, all alone.
3
00:00:08,330 --> 00:00:09,499
I don't see why
4
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:11,929
- his brother can't sit with him.
- Come on, Mary.
5
00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:13,259
When you were in high
school, would you have lunch
6
00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:15,049
- with a nine-year-old?
- Yes, I would've.
7
00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:16,619
Well, there's something wrong with you.
8
00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:18,299
I'm gonna keep him company.
9
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:19,950
Hey, hey, hey, Mary. Mary.
10
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,319
Think this through. Right now the kids
11
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,659
are just ignoring Sheldon.
12
00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:25,859
What happens if he's
sitting with his mommy?
13
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:29,529
They could mistake me for a senior.
14
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,529
Well, I look younger than you.
15
00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:33,169
Just give this time, all right?
16
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:35,299
It'll work itself out.
17
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,980
My mother never understood
18
00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:40,770
that I actually enjoyed being alone.
19
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:44,379
Solitude allowed me to think
about important things,
20
00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:46,830
like the effect of gravitational forces
21
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,149
as you approach an event horizon,
22
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,180
as opposed to less important things,
23
00:00:52,190 --> 00:00:55,619
like how many grapes my
brother can fit in his mouth.
24
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:56,989
14!
25
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,989
Yeah!
26
00:00:58,990 --> 00:01:00,990
Jean-Paul Sartre said,
27
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,050
"Hell is other people."
28
00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:08,399
That's humorous because it's true.
29
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:26,140
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
30
00:01:32,290 --> 00:01:33,729
Something wrong?
31
00:01:33,730 --> 00:01:36,110
How come math is easy for Sheldon
32
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,379
and hard for me?
33
00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:38,469
I don't know, honey,
34
00:01:38,470 --> 00:01:40,209
but you have your own gifts.
35
00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:41,699
Like what?
36
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,280
Well, like...
37
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:49,379
you have very pretty hair.
38
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,750
True.
39
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,529
Georgie.
40
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:56,559
Would you do me a tiny little favor?
41
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,460
Like what?
42
00:01:57,461 --> 00:01:59,360
Tomorrow at lunch, would you mind
43
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:00,599
sitting with your brother?
44
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,869
Don't do it, Georgie.
45
00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,169
You stay out of this.
46
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:04,800
I ate with him in second grade.
47
00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:06,839
It really hurt my social life.
48
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,300
Sorry, Mom. Can't do it.
49
00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:12,979
Why are you such a brat?
50
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:15,249
Maybe I'm crying for attention.
51
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:17,929
This isn't a joke, young lady.
52
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,289
Yes, your brother may be smart,
53
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,719
but he doesn't have
a friend in the world.
54
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:26,590
And I am sorry, but I am
very worried about him.
55
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,369
Nice going. You're making
Mom a nervous wreck.
56
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:34,919
What did I do?
57
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,869
You don't have any friends,
and she is beside herself.
58
00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:39,369
But I'm fine without friends.
59
00:02:39,370 --> 00:02:41,009
I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon.
60
00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:42,949
She's sad, it's your fault,
61
00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:45,079
I'm going to watch ALF.
62
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,479
Science fact:
63
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,480
sisters are the worst.
64
00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:56,580
When you're three foot ten
65
00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:57,899
and in high school,
66
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,329
getting from point "A"
67
00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:02,719
to point "B" can be
a harrowing experience.
68
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,709
But it's worth
it when point "B" is...
69
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,060
the library.
70
00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:20,289
Home to the original
information superhighway,
71
00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:22,259
the Dewey Decimal System.
72
00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:23,759
Hey there, Sheldon.
73
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,609
What can I get for you today?
74
00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:27,129
Chemistry?
75
00:03:27,130 --> 00:03:29,370
Quantum mechanics? Astronomy?
76
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,029
No, nothing fun today.
77
00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:32,979
I need to learn how to make a friend.
78
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,680
Aw, honey, you having a hard time
79
00:03:34,690 --> 00:03:36,119
adjusting to high school?
80
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,819
I'm having a hard time
adjusting to Earth.
81
00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:41,020
Yeah. You and me both.
82
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,739
Try this.
83
00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:48,609
It's been around a while,
but it's still quite popular.
84
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:50,660
Unlike me,
85
00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:52,870
who's just been around a while.
86
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:57,360
"How to Win Friends
87
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:59,319
and Influence People."
88
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,619
This might do it.
89
00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:03,220
"Principle one.
90
00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:06,690
Don't criticize, condemn or complain."
91
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,699
The three sharpest arrows
92
00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:10,629
in my quiver.
93
00:04:10,630 --> 00:04:12,769
Thus began the greatest challenge
94
00:04:12,770 --> 00:04:14,169
of my young life.
95
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,839
Hello, George.
96
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,139
What?
97
00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:20,169
I do admire your thick head of hair...
98
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:21,539
George.
99
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:24,449
Thanks.
100
00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:26,010
What's going on?
101
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:28,649
Well, I'm practicing the
principles in this book.
102
00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:31,299
- Why?
- Well, I know Mom is concerned
103
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:32,739
that I don't have any friends,
104
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:35,689
so I'm determined to
remedy the situation.
105
00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:37,089
Oh.
106
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:38,489
George.
107
00:04:38,490 --> 00:04:40,679
Well, good for you.
108
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,910
Do you feel complimented
109
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,849
when I say your name, George?
110
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,350
The book says you should. George.
111
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,030
I suppose.
112
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,069
Kind of overdoing it a little.
113
00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:51,819
- Sheldon.
- Well, thank you
114
00:04:51,820 --> 00:04:53,289
for your criticism.
115
00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:54,790
It also says I should praise
116
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,079
any improvements that you've made.
117
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,270
Okay.
118
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:03,420
I'll get back to you.
119
00:05:05,670 --> 00:05:07,350
George.
120
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,269
On the heels
121
00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:12,109
of that successful beta test,
122
00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:14,610
I decided to practice
the Carnegie principles
123
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:16,440
on someone my own age.
124
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:21,280
- Hello, Billy Sparks.
- Hey, Sheldon.
125
00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:23,629
I am genuinely interested in you
126
00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:26,409
and would like to encourage
you to talk about yourself.
127
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,969
Billy Sparks.
128
00:05:27,970 --> 00:05:29,180
Thank you.
129
00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:37,270
You have the floor.
130
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,080
Thank you.
131
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,209
Looking back,
I would've had better luck
132
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,109
making friends with the chickens.
133
00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:47,979
Go Wolves.
134
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,040
What?
135
00:05:49,050 --> 00:05:50,979
You're a cheerleader, and by saying
136
00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:53,479
"Go Wolves," I'm
initiating a conversation
137
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,249
about something that interests you.
138
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:58,719
Oh, are you one of
those special ed kids?
139
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,719
My mom says I'm special.
140
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,559
Would you like to be friends?
141
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,360
I don't think so.
142
00:06:04,370 --> 00:06:06,329
Are you sure? What if I told you
143
00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:08,660
I admired your boldly-applied makeup?
144
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:17,980
Greetings from stall number one.
145
00:06:17,990 --> 00:06:20,930
As much as I detest that
odd-smelling cigarette,
146
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,110
I do applaud
147
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,210
your rule-breaking bravado.
148
00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:27,530
My name is Sheldon. What's yours?
149
00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:30,699
Hello, gentlemen.
150
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:34,720
Did you watch any sports
programs over the weekend?
151
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,799
Or perhaps did some kissing with girls?
152
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,500
Can you hear me?
153
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,949
95, 96, 97.
154
00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:51,209
98.
155
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:53,939
99, 100.
156
00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:55,909
- You missed 11 numbers.
- I don't need
157
00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:58,679
to be good at math.
I have beautiful hair.
158
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,110
That's the saddest
thing I've ever heard.
159
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,319
Didn't you already read that book?
160
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,430
I'm reading it again.
161
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:06,420
How come?
162
00:07:06,421 --> 00:07:08,259
I clearly missed something.
163
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:11,289
I couldn't find one person
who wanted to be my friend.
164
00:07:11,290 --> 00:07:13,259
Did you look at the card inside?
165
00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:15,270
Why?
166
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,779
That's just other people
who checked out the book.
167
00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:20,839
It's a list of losers like
you who can't find a friend.
168
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,259
So?
169
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:24,839
So they're desperate,
and you have their names.
170
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:28,140
That's brilliant.
171
00:07:28,150 --> 00:07:29,879
Mm.
172
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,500
Now, how is it that you can't count?
173
00:07:39,230 --> 00:07:42,479
So your father tells me
you've been reading a new book?
174
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,810
I am. It's about how to make friends.
175
00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:47,329
Is that something you're interested in?
176
00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:49,630
Not really, but Missy told me
177
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,869
it makes you sad that I don't have any.
178
00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:53,639
Oh.
179
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,039
I got to sew that girl's mouth shut.
180
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,379
So how's it going?
181
00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:01,279
Well, the principles in the
book didn't work for me at all.
182
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,549
Although Dad does like
being called George
183
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:06,349
over and over again, so
you might give that a try.
184
00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:09,350
Baby, you don't have to
go to any trouble for me.
185
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,159
But I like doing things for you.
186
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,689
You're a nice lady.
187
00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:15,090
- But if the book's not working...
- It isn't.
188
00:08:15,150 --> 00:08:18,009
But I realized if I
find the other people
189
00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:20,919
who checked out the book, they'd
be looking for friends, too.
190
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,080
That's really smart.
191
00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:25,650
- Missy thought of it.
- You're kidding.
192
00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:27,989
I'm as surprised as you are.
193
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:33,290
Excuse me, Ms. Ingram?
194
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,309
Sheldon, it's recess.
195
00:08:35,310 --> 00:08:37,269
Go outside, see what it's like.
196
00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:40,399
Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram?
197
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,010
Yes.
198
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:45,119
The same Evelyn Ingram
who checked out this book?
199
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,470
- And why is that your business?
- I just
200
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,550
assumed you were
looking to make a friend.
201
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,119
Oh.
202
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,959
Well, that was a long time ago.
203
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,019
I had just gotten out of a
very difficult relationship.
204
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,549
- With a friend?
- Friend.
205
00:08:57,550 --> 00:09:00,259
Ha! I gave that man
three years of my life
206
00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:01,789
and my innocence.
207
00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:03,259
I don't know what that means.
208
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:06,629
It means men are lying dogs
only interested in one thing.
209
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,809
Well, that's not the
dictionary definition.
210
00:09:08,810 --> 00:09:09,909
Mm-hmm.
211
00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:11,590
Always starts the same.
212
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,500
A quick glance across the room,
a casual hand on the shoulder,
213
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:17,299
lunch at Stuckey's.
214
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,799
Oh, yeah, it's all romance
215
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,149
and flowers in the beginning...
216
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:23,019
The list proved
to be a double-edged sword.
217
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:27,049
It turns out self-help
books written in 1936
218
00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:29,090
were only of interest to adults.
219
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,619
You're like, "I'm here because I care.
220
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,819
And by the way, your phone
could make calls, too."
221
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:34,129
Then tries to turn
this whole thing around
222
00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:35,620
like it's all about you being needy,
223
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:37,259
and you're like, "Yes, I have needs!
224
00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:39,090
That's what makes me human!"
225
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,529
Emotionally troubled adults.
226
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,470
Child, go outside.
227
00:09:46,390 --> 00:09:48,459
Yes, that's my
signature. Why do you ask?
228
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:51,100
I'm seeking people who
want to make friends.
229
00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:52,939
I wasn't interested in friends.
230
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,440
I took out that book to help
me become school principal.
231
00:09:55,450 --> 00:09:59,310
- Did it work?
- Are we sitting in the principal's office?
232
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,509
- No.
- And you know why?
233
00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:05,019
Because Victoria MacElroy is not a man!
234
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:08,439
So to be clear, you're not
interested in making friends?
235
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:12,390
What I'm interested in
is in living long enough
236
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,389
to see women no longer treated
like second-class citizens.
237
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,000
Well if your goal is a long life,
238
00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:21,199
that chili cheeseburger is a
step in the wrong direction.
239
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,009
Food is all I have.
240
00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:26,170
Like I said,
241
00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:28,539
emotionally troubled adults.
242
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,349
You gonna watch me eat?
243
00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:31,850
Get out of here.
244
00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:36,250
Everybody told me,
245
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,339
"Hubert, don't date
someone from work."
246
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:40,419
But did I listen? No.
247
00:10:40,420 --> 00:10:42,189
Let me tell you
something. She likes to say
248
00:10:42,190 --> 00:10:43,329
I stole her innocence?
249
00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,769
Well, what about my innocence?
250
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,290
I was never the same after we broke up.
251
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:47,540
Two years later,
252
00:10:47,550 --> 00:10:49,730
Mr. Givens became the
high school principal,
253
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:53,299
which might be why Ms.
MacElroy became morbidly obese.
254
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,900
I had the brains, I had the
charm, and I don't like to brag,
255
00:10:55,910 --> 00:10:57,839
but I was pretty easy
on the eyes back then.
256
00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,909
That woman got herself
one heck of a package.
257
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:02,010
But some people don't
want to be satisfied.
258
00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:05,449
Is that any good?
259
00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:07,189
I'm afraid not.
260
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:09,180
I failed to make a single friend.
261
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:12,050
That sucks. I have a tough
time making friends, too.
262
00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:14,699
The worst part is, it
was important to my mom.
263
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:17,559
My parents pressure me about
making friends all the time.
264
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,729
So you understand
what I'm going through.
265
00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:23,499
Oh, I read that book. It's excellent.
266
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,019
Are you into rocketry?
267
00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:27,299
I started with water propulsion,
268
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,100
worked my way up to solid fuel,
269
00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:31,809
then went back to water after
I set our garage on fire.
270
00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:34,639
- Nice.
- I also tried to get some uranium
271
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,209
and build an atomic engine,
but that stuff's hard to find.
272
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:41,049
Probably for the best.
273
00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:43,249
Well, good luck on your
quest to find a friend.
274
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:44,810
You, too.
275
00:11:50,690 --> 00:11:53,750
If you haven't found one
yet, I have good news.
276
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,299
Mom, what do you know
about the drug Prozac?
277
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:00,699
Not much.
278
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,339
Supposed to make people happier. Why?
279
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:04,819
I was just thinking
280
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:06,970
some of my teachers
might benefit from it.
281
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:09,259
Speaking of which,
282
00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:11,509
you'll be happy to know
I made a friend today.
283
00:12:11,510 --> 00:12:13,819
Oh.
284
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,749
Well, that's nice.
285
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:17,919
But, as I said, this isn't for me.
286
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,360
It's for you.
287
00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:21,820
He made a friend!
288
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:22,889
He did it!
289
00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:25,829
Our little boy has got a friend.
290
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,659
- Who is it?
- Who cares?
291
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:29,799
It's a human being. It's a warm body.
292
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,429
Mom?
293
00:12:31,430 --> 00:12:32,569
Yes, honey?
294
00:12:32,570 --> 00:12:34,469
- Can I come in?
- Of course.
295
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:36,170
Be cool.
296
00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:38,739
- What's up, sweetie?
- I was wondering
297
00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:41,369
when I could continue my rocketry hobby.
298
00:12:41,370 --> 00:12:43,380
Uh, Sheldon, we've been through this.
299
00:12:43,390 --> 00:12:45,449
You can build them. You
just can't launch them.
300
00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:47,249
But launching them is the fun part.
301
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,580
Tell that to the family of squirrels
302
00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:49,749
who died in the fire.
303
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,059
Okay.
304
00:12:51,060 --> 00:12:53,489
It was just something I was
hoping to do with my new friend.
305
00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:54,789
Hang on.
306
00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:56,309
Uh, yes.
307
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:57,359
It's fine.
308
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,360
Ban is lifted.
309
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,999
- Mary...
- It's for his friend.
310
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,800
He's got a friend.
311
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:04,129
Besides, those could have been rats.
312
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:05,699
Their bodies were so badly burned.
313
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,839
I thought we were being cool, but okay.
314
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,619
Hey, here's an idea.
315
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:13,039
Why don't you invite your
new buddy over for dinner?
316
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,639
- Why?
- Well, honey,
317
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,949
um, that is what friends do.
318
00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:19,749
My mother asked me to ask you
319
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:21,619
if you'd like to join us for dinner.
320
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:24,930
- Why?
- I was hoping you'd know.
321
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,380
He's here!
322
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:35,059
Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day,
323
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:37,579
- just a normal dinner.
- Can I eat in front of the TV?
324
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:39,589
No, you can eat in
front of Sheldon's friend.
325
00:13:39,590 --> 00:13:41,749
- Aw, fudge.
- I know what "fudge" means,
326
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,939
and you are right on
the edge, young lady.
327
00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:46,630
Welcome.
328
00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:57,189
So, uh...
329
00:13:57,190 --> 00:13:59,350
Tam. What kind of name is that?
330
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,990
Vietnamese. Sir.
331
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,220
Sure. You know, I spent
a little time over there.
332
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:04,910
Army.
333
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:09,399
Your mom's name isn't Kim-Lee, is it?
334
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,929
No. Sir.
335
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,530
Good.
336
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:15,300
I mean, you know, it's a small country.
337
00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:16,839
So...
338
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,509
Mary, how's that food coming?
339
00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:19,609
Almost.
340
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:21,709
So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
341
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:23,809
- Yes.
- That's a cool movie.
342
00:14:23,810 --> 00:14:24,750
Yes.
343
00:14:24,751 --> 00:14:25,849
Are you in it?
344
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,979
- No.
- Hmm.
345
00:14:27,980 --> 00:14:31,019
Why would you think you knew his mom?
346
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,989
All right, Tam.
347
00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:35,959
I decided I was gonna make
you a real Texas dinner.
348
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,529
Barbecued chicken and brisket.
349
00:14:37,530 --> 00:14:38,510
Thank you.
350
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,229
Well, I figured you were probably tired
351
00:14:40,230 --> 00:14:42,129
of stuff wiggling around on your plate.
352
00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:44,290
Okay, let's say grace.
353
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,999
Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus,"
354
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,069
feel free to say the word
"Buddha" in your head.
355
00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:49,269
I'm actually Catholic.
356
00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:52,009
Oh. Well, that's too bad.
357
00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:53,889
Thank you, God, for this food,
358
00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:55,430
and bless the hands that prepared it.
359
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,409
And thank you so much
for Sheldon's new friend.
360
00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:00,779
Amen.
361
00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:03,480
So, Tam, tell us about your family.
362
00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:05,059
What brings y'all to Texas?
363
00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:07,149
Well, after the American War...
364
00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:08,459
You mean the Vietnam War.
365
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:09,959
We call it the American War.
366
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,309
- Hmm.
- Anyway,
367
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:12,959
after the war, my father was sent
368
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,399
to a reeducation camp
369
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,809
because he fought on the wrong side.
370
00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:16,860
You mean our side.
371
00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:19,469
I was trying to be nice.
372
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:21,220
So, for many years,
373
00:15:21,230 --> 00:15:22,959
my mother and my sisters and I
374
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,309
were very poor
375
00:15:24,310 --> 00:15:26,639
and very often didn't have much to eat.
376
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,759
Then, when he was released...
377
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,849
What'd they teach him
at the reeducation camp?
378
00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:32,079
How to be a communist.
379
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,049
Cool, like in Rambo.
380
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:36,439
When he was released,
381
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,289
we escaped on a small boat
382
00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:41,859
and spent many weeks at sea
dodging Cambodian pirates
383
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:43,739
until we reached Thailand.
384
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:46,670
Oh, that's supposed to
be a beautiful country.
385
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,929
- Lovely beaches.
- I wouldn't know.
386
00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:51,099
We were forced to
live in a refugee camp,
387
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:54,339
where the only thing we had
to eat were pigeons and rats.
388
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,430
Ha! That's a job for hot sauce.
389
00:15:58,170 --> 00:15:59,549
Finally,
390
00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:01,509
we were allowed to come to United States
391
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,109
and start over in Galveston.
392
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:06,079
My father saved money and
bought his own shrimp boat.
393
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,780
There's a happy ending. Huh?
394
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:10,919
See, kids? When the going gets tough,
395
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,289
- America provides.
- It did.
396
00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:16,059
Until the Ku Klux Klan burned our boat
397
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:17,729
and chased us away.
398
00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:20,190
You gonna put a good spin on that one?
399
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,059
So we came to Medford
400
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:24,069
and opened up a convenience store.
401
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,499
My parents work 16 hours a day,
402
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,239
seven days a week
403
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,420
for very little money.
404
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,730
Well, that was depressing.
405
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:46,130
I don't understand why it didn't launch.
406
00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:47,539
Me, neither.
407
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,869
Evil Nazi scientists
did it 50 years ago.
408
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:52,400
How hard could it be?
409
00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:58,609
Can I help you?
410
00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:01,110
Sorry to bother you, ma'am. FBI.
411
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,149
We're looking for a Sheldon Lee Cooper.
412
00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:05,369
George!
413
00:17:05,370 --> 00:17:06,570
I'm on the can.
414
00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,689
Now!
415
00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:11,739
- What?
- These gentlemen
416
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,390
are with the FBI. They
want to talk to Sheldon.
417
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,099
What?
418
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,510
We... Uh...
419
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,329
Y-You fellas must have made a mistake.
420
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,799
Sheldon's nine.
421
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,299
Well, someone living at this address
422
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,669
recently called a mining
operation in Canada
423
00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:25,869
and tried to buy uranium.
424
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,980
Okay, maybe it's not a mistake.
425
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,390
It's ridiculous.
426
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,359
Let's just go talk to him. Huh?
427
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,779
He's just a little, itty-bitty thing.
428
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:35,110
Really, he's harmless.
429
00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:40,919
Sorry!
430
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,690
He's in the garage.
431
00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:50,370
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