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Curb Your Enthusiasm 7x10
Seinfeld
Original Air Date on November 22, 2009
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-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for addic7ed.com --
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I've been dreading
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telling you about this
whole Madoff thing.
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Oh, well...
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You must hate me for
losing all our money. But,
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look at me. I'm living with Jerry.
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We're wiped out.
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Actually, I'm fine, George.
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Fine?
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I took my half out of Madoff
right after we got divorced.
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You what?
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I still have my half.
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Wait a second.
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- Is that right?
- It's good, yeah.
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It's good. Keep going.
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- Okay.
- Why did you take it out?
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I bumped into Madoff
on the street one day
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and he was wearing this
quilted jacket with the collar up.
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And for some reason
it just creeped me out.
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So the next day I
pulled all my money out.
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That's... that's my money!
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You have my money!
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Not according to the laws
of the State of New York.
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and the waitress brings the check.
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- No, let me.
- I got it.
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- I got it.
- I got it.
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- I got it.
- Would you let me get the check!?
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Okay, jeez.
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Forgot to go to the cash machine.
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cut. That's it for scene 8.
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We're right back here tomorrow.
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That's a wrap.
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That was great. Really funny.
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I don't know. Was the
pace of that right?
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No, it was perfect.
It was really good.
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That was so funny, that ending.
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It's really good. It's really good.
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I'm done. I'm gonna go
talk to the prop guy.
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The glasses are a little off.
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- Okay.
- Thanks, Cheryl. See you tomorrow.
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- Okay.
- Okay, good job.
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- Fantastic.
- No, be honest with me.
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I'm being honest. You were fantastic.
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I am not fantastic.
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You are. And they like you.
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- They like you.
- Who likes me?
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Jason likes you. Jerry likes you.
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Julia likes you. They
all like you. Michael.
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I like you.
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- You having fun here?
- Yeah, it's great.
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- It's like your thing.
- I know, I'm having a great time.
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It's like you're the man, you know?
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- No big deal.
- It's the "Seinfeld" reunion.
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- I know.
- That's a big deal.
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- It's actually happening.
- And you're in it.
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Yeah.
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Hey, how's Michael doing?
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He's doing great.
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- He is?
- Yeah, the groat's disease came back negative.
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- So he doesn't have groat's?
- No, he doesn't have it.
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- He's fine.
- Oh, that's great. That's good news.
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- Yeah.
- What are you doing later?
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I was... I'm still...
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There are still moments in this
script that I'm trying to find.
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- Really?
- I don't know, I thought maybe we could
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get together or something.
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Sure, yeah.
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What about after Julia's
book party for Jason?
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Definitely.
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- That'd be great.
- I'll come over right after the book party.
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- Terrific.
- It's a good plan.
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- Okay.
- All right.
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- Is that Jason's car?
- Yeah.
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What's with the tinted windows?
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I think he likes his privacy.
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You know, being a celebrity...
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What is he, George
Clooney? I mean, come on.
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It also is helpful with the sun.
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And he takes his dogs with him everywhere
so it probably gets hot in there.
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Boy, you know a lot about this guy.
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We spend a lot of time together
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just talking about
nothing between takes.
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- Talking about the kitchen.
- Hey, Larry. Hey, Cheryl.
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- Hey, mocha Joe.
- How you guys doing?
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You have the best vanilla decaf latte.
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- I don't know what he does.
- Well, a little secret.
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- You got some secrets, mocha Joe?
- Yeah yeah yeah.
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- I'll tell you about it someday.
- Okay.
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Hey, where you going with this?
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I was going over to
the production office.
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- Our office?
- Yeah, your office.
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- Could you do me a favor?
- Yeah, sure.
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Could you bring some
jumper cables to Tim Kaiser?
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- I've got to return them.
- yeah, sure.
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- Really? That would be fabulous
- all right, cool.
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Thanks, mocha Joe.
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That's it, right?
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- Just bring these to the production office?
- Give them to Tim Kaiser.
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- Yeah, no problem.
- Thanks.
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I'll talk to you later. Thanks for
the compliment about the coffee.
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- Yeah.
- Okay.
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All right, I'll see you
in a little while.
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I really like
your hair like that.
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- Okay, I'll see you later.
- I'll see you later.
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We've just been getting
along so great.
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And when we were walking
out of the stage today
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she invited me to her house
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Tonight to go over lines.
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- Really?
- Yes.
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- It's unbelievable.
- Wow.
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So it's like a date,
I guess.
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I think you should
make a move tonight.
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Nah.
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Yeah.
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- What?
- Make a move.
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I can't.
Whenever I make a move
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- You see it a mile away.
It's like a poker tell.
- No no no.
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Because I'm thinking
about it, my conversation
gets very stilted.
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She invited you.
You must make a move.
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I'm so happy just to be
going over there,
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Being close with her,
I don't even care about
the move.
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You realize all your dreams
are coming true?
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- Your whole plan
is coming to fruition.
- Yes, I know.
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- Ah, the actor prepares.
- Yeah.
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- What do you think?
- Wow.
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I love the face.
Don't you love the face?
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- The burning intensity, yes.
- Yeah.
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The let's cut the crap,
you know?
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It's not so much as a book
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as a pamphlet,
you know?
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Kind of on the thin side,
isn't it?
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He's saying
"acting without acting."
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So if you're not gonna act
there's not much left to say.
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"acting without acting."
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- Yeah, everything is without.
- Yeah.
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Raise your kids
without raising them.
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You know what else
is kind of annoying?
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Have you noticed people are
saying, "having said that
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- After everything
they say now?
- Yes.
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Having said that,
let me say this.
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- Right right. You say what
you really want to say...
- Yeah.
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...and then you negate it.
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Now having said that.
So what is that?
So you win either way.
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A comedian goes up on stage,
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"you people are
a bunch of morons.
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Having said that,
I'm very happy to be here."
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Hey, I talked to your buddy
mocha Joe a minute ago.
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You know, he's a little upset
that you didn't give him anything
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for taking those jumper
cables to Tim Kaiser.
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- He said something to you?
- Yeah, he did.
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- What?
- He made a comment
that Larry...
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Boy, it takes a lot to get
a tip out of that guy.
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I asked him to do me a favor.
I didn't say I want to hire you.
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- I said do me a favor.
- That's what a tip is.
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A tip is money for a favor.
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No, a favor implies no tip.
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Someone that was supposed
to be tipped was not tipped.
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You'd better tip him.
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- Salutations, me lads.
- Hey, look at that.
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How are you?
Nice to see you.
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You're really cutting
the figure these days.
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Well, thank you very much.
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- Congrats.
- Thank you very much.
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- This is really something.
- Thank you very much.
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- How long did this take?
- That's about a year
and change of my life.
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- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.
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Yet it's very concise.
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Yeah, I tried to get it
down to the essentials.
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Yeah, I'll read it
with dinner.
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Yeah, what does "acting
without acting" mean?
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It just means you don't want
to see the actor at work.
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- Right.
- You want to hide
the technique.
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It's acting.
It's doing the job.
It's the craft.
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- So you hide
the actor's effort.
- But he's still acting.
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- Yeah, of course
you're acting.
- Right.
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So it could be
"acting with acting."
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- That could be a title too.
- Yeah.
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Having said that,
I think this is
a terrific title.
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- Thanks.
- Hey, Lar. Lar.
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- Can I talk to you
just for a sec?
- Oh, sure.
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It is without acting.
It's hiding the acting.
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Right, it's hiding the acting
and yet it's all acting.
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- Most of it.
- Yeah.
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Uh, were you sitting here?
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- Mm-hmm.
- Earlier? You were?
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Has it ever occurred to you
to use a coaster?
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- Look.
- Oh.
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I am a little bit freaked
out because you need to know
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this table has been
in the Louis-Dreyfus family
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for generations, okay?
And look at it.
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Yeah, but I didn't
put my glass down there.
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00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,232
- I held onto it.
- No no no, but you were here.
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00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,834
Yeah, I know, but the glass
never left my hand.
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00:07:57,868 --> 00:08:00,837
When I'm in social situations
I always hold onto my glass.
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00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:03,573
It makes me feel comfortable
and secure and I don't have
to shake hands.
197
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:07,077
Listen, one of these
friends of Jason told me,
198
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,946
"oh, Larry did that.
Larry David did that.
He was just sitting here."
199
00:08:09,981 --> 00:08:11,715
- So said that?
- I don't know what
his name is.
200
00:08:11,749 --> 00:08:13,917
I don't know who any
of these people are in
my house, by the way.
201
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,552
Where is he?
Which friend?
202
00:08:15,586 --> 00:08:19,222
Well, look it, you say you
would never put a wet glass
203
00:08:19,223 --> 00:08:21,690
down on an antique wooden table.
No, impossible.
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00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,828
All right, I believe you.
Having said that,
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00:08:24,862 --> 00:08:27,597
I don't really think
I'm buying your line
of bullshit.
206
00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:38,608
- Mocha Joe.
- Oh, how you doing, Larry?
207
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:43,179
So I understand you
were a little upset
208
00:08:43,214 --> 00:08:46,116
that I didn't
give you a tip
209
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,385
for taking the jumper
cables to the office.
210
00:08:48,419 --> 00:08:49,986
- Is that true?
- I'm not upset,
211
00:08:50,021 --> 00:08:52,188
but I'm a little
disappointed.
212
00:08:52,223 --> 00:08:54,824
Mocha Joe, I asked
you to do a favor.
213
00:08:54,859 --> 00:08:57,861
- That's a favor.
- Yeah, but you tip
for a favor, Larry.
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00:08:57,895 --> 00:09:00,330
If you asked me to do you
a favor I would say yes.
215
00:09:00,364 --> 00:09:02,065
I wouldn't expect
any money in return.
216
00:09:02,099 --> 00:09:03,933
- I would do it out of
the goodness of my heart.
- Really?
217
00:09:03,968 --> 00:09:06,436
- You would do me a favor out of
the goodness of your heart?
- Of course I would.
218
00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:09,372
I'll tell you what:
You do me a favor
and we're even.
219
00:09:11,309 --> 00:09:14,010
- What's the favor?
- Go into West Jollywood
220
00:09:14,045 --> 00:09:16,880
to Stern Bros. Coffee
and pick up my coffee order
for tomorrow.
221
00:09:16,914 --> 00:09:19,516
Mocha Joe, that's insane.
222
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:23,019
Hollywood is the exact
opposite direction
of where I live.
223
00:09:23,054 --> 00:09:25,522
You know what, Larry?
If you don't do the favor,
we got nothing to talk about.
224
00:09:25,556 --> 00:09:27,590
- Now get away from my cart.
- All right, mocha Joe.
225
00:09:27,625 --> 00:09:29,759
- No, there's nothing
to talk about, Larry.
- You know what?
226
00:09:29,794 --> 00:09:31,795
I just realized something.
I just realized something.
227
00:09:31,829 --> 00:09:34,397
I was completely wrong
about not tipping you.
228
00:09:34,432 --> 00:09:36,666
- Oh really?
- And I want to make it
up to you right now.
229
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:37,767
- Okay.
- I want to tip you now.
230
00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:39,536
- No.
- Forget this favor.
231
00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:41,538
- No no no no.
- No, I'll tip you.
I'll give you a tip.
232
00:09:41,572 --> 00:09:43,306
No, you said you
would do me the favor.
233
00:09:43,341 --> 00:09:45,642
Now you're going back
and you want to pay me off?
234
00:09:45,676 --> 00:09:48,111
- I want to go back in time...
- Go back in time?
235
00:09:48,145 --> 00:09:50,613
- ...Give you the tip
the you deserved...
- Yeah.
236
00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:52,282
...for taking the jumper
cables to the office
237
00:09:52,316 --> 00:09:53,783
Even though you
were going there
238
00:09:53,818 --> 00:09:55,518
And I'll give you the tip
that I should have given you.
239
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,953
No going back in time.
240
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,456
You said you
would do me a favor.
Now do me a favor.
241
00:10:02,159 --> 00:10:04,394
Okay, mocha Joe.
242
00:10:04,428 --> 00:10:06,996
I'll go to Hollywood.
243
00:10:07,031 --> 00:10:10,133
I'll pick up
your beans, okay?
244
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,836
Here's the card
for Stern Bros. Coffee,
West Hollywood.
245
00:10:12,870 --> 00:10:15,271
Pick up that coffee for me.
Bring it to the studio tomorrow.
246
00:10:15,306 --> 00:10:17,907
- That squares us?
- Yeah, that'll square us.
247
00:10:17,942 --> 00:10:19,976
See you tomorrow, Larry.
248
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,312
- Oh.
- Oh, hi.
249
00:10:22,346 --> 00:10:24,381
I hardly got a chance
to talk to you.
250
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,983
- I know.
- So I'll see you later?
251
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,018
- See you later.
- Great.
252
00:10:29,053 --> 00:10:32,222
What? We're working.
We're doing some work.
253
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:35,825
We are.
We're working together.
254
00:10:40,998 --> 00:10:43,400
God damn it!
255
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,409
- Hello?
- Hey, it's me.
256
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,878
- Hey.
- Um, look,
257
00:10:54,912 --> 00:10:56,379
I think I'm gonna
be late.
258
00:10:56,414 --> 00:10:58,114
I'm in bad traffic.
259
00:10:58,149 --> 00:11:01,151
I've got to go into
Jollywood to pick up
some beans for mocha Joe.
260
00:11:01,185 --> 00:11:03,820
What are you doing?
You're picking up beans?
261
00:11:03,854 --> 00:11:06,956
It's a long story.
I'm gonna be like
an hour late.
262
00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:09,959
Oh my god.
I thought you were
on your way over.
263
00:11:09,994 --> 00:11:11,895
Well, I am.
I mean, I can,
you know.
264
00:11:11,929 --> 00:11:15,532
- It's only an hour.
- I know, but you're
gonna take an hour?
265
00:11:15,566 --> 00:11:17,834
I think we should just do...
we'll do it another time.
266
00:11:19,904 --> 00:11:23,072
- Okay?
- All right. Okay.
267
00:11:23,107 --> 00:11:25,408
Okay. I'll see you.
268
00:11:25,443 --> 00:11:28,611
All right.
See you tomorrow.
269
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,346
All right, thanks, Larry.
Bye.
270
00:11:30,381 --> 00:11:32,115
Bye.
271
00:11:51,368 --> 00:11:53,570
Hey!
272
00:11:55,639 --> 00:11:57,774
Fucking mocha Joe!
273
00:12:01,078 --> 00:12:03,313
So how's it going
with Cheryl?
274
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,381
- Really good.
- She got anything?
275
00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:07,150
Yeah.
Yeah, she's good.
276
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,685
- I like what she's doing.
- Really?
277
00:12:08,719 --> 00:12:10,920
Easy to work with.
We got together last night
at her place.
278
00:12:10,955 --> 00:12:13,223
- Oh really?
- Cheryl calls me up,
she says come on over.
279
00:12:13,257 --> 00:12:16,392
- I go over, we worked
for like two hours.
- Wow.
280
00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:19,462
- When has
an actress done that?
- So which shirt do you like?
281
00:12:19,497 --> 00:12:22,198
Pick one out.
282
00:12:22,233 --> 00:12:24,033
Hey, Kar.
Lar.
283
00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:26,469
The guy came,
I got an estimate
284
00:12:26,504 --> 00:12:29,873
and it's gonna cost 500 bucks
to fix that table.
285
00:12:29,907 --> 00:12:31,541
The ring.
286
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,745
- I...
- Yes you did.
287
00:12:35,779 --> 00:12:37,947
Come on, man.
Yes you did.
288
00:12:37,982 --> 00:12:39,516
Please don't play
this game with me.
289
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,385
I would tell you
if I left it.
290
00:12:42,419 --> 00:12:45,188
I respect wood.
I revere wood.
291
00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:46,789
I'm considerate of wood.
292
00:12:46,824 --> 00:12:50,693
Lar, I have known you
since 1983.
293
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,195
- Whatever it is.
- Four. Yeah, four.
294
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:55,698
I know when you are lying.
295
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:59,068
And right now you're doing
that thing with your mouth
when it's like...
296
00:12:59,103 --> 00:13:01,437
Really?
297
00:13:01,472 --> 00:13:02,639
Seriously?
298
00:13:02,673 --> 00:13:04,541
I don't even care about
the money, Larry.
299
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:05,842
Just fess up, man.
300
00:13:05,876 --> 00:13:08,144
If you didn't do it,
who did it?
301
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,880
- You're the person...
- I'm going to find out.
302
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,582
- Oh, please.
- I will find out
303
00:13:12,616 --> 00:13:14,250
and I will drag
that person by the hair
304
00:13:14,285 --> 00:13:16,986
and bring him into
your dressing room soon.
305
00:13:17,021 --> 00:13:19,622
- Oh, man.
- Okay, scene S is up.
306
00:13:19,657 --> 00:13:23,092
We're in Jerry's apartment.
It's George and Amanda.
307
00:13:23,127 --> 00:13:24,794
We're right here.
308
00:13:24,828 --> 00:13:27,797
And we were talking about you
and the therapist says
309
00:13:27,831 --> 00:13:29,566
that maybe there's
another side to you.
310
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,734
Not just another--
dozens.
311
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,404
How about that?
How about that?
312
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,372
- So why don't we sit down?
- Sit down.
313
00:13:36,407 --> 00:13:39,776
Yeah, come on.
Would you like some popcorn?
Because I made it.
314
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:41,945
- Wait, is that in there?
- Uh-huh, I made it.
315
00:13:41,979 --> 00:13:43,680
I know, but I don't
say I made it.
316
00:13:43,714 --> 00:13:46,015
- No, I say I made it.
- I know, it was so convincing.
317
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:47,951
I'm playing George.
318
00:13:47,985 --> 00:13:50,620
- I don't understand this bit.
- It's great.
319
00:13:50,654 --> 00:13:53,256
But it says that they
fight over the popcorn.
320
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,159
- Is it like wrestling?
- No no, it's not wrestling.
321
00:13:56,193 --> 00:13:58,328
You're fighting with
your hands, okay?
322
00:13:58,362 --> 00:14:01,130
- Yeah.
- Let it go.
Wherever it goes.
323
00:14:01,165 --> 00:14:03,099
It's rehearsal.
It's exploratory.
324
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:06,169
So do you
want some popcorn?
I made it.
325
00:14:08,272 --> 00:14:11,608
This is like the greatest
relationship I've ever seen
you have on the show.
326
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,242
I know, George has never
been this happy.
327
00:14:13,277 --> 00:14:15,645
I'm watching Richard Benjamin
and Paula Prentiss here.
328
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,214
- This is fantastic.
- She's unbelievable.
329
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:19,649
- I really believe this.
- Thank you.
330
00:14:19,683 --> 00:14:21,517
Okay, that's lunch
for a half.
331
00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:23,920
We're feeding on 19.
We're right back here
after lunch.
332
00:14:23,954 --> 00:14:26,189
- What do we got,
like a half hour?
- Take whatever you want.
333
00:14:26,223 --> 00:14:28,124
- That is gold.
- You want to have some lunch?
334
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,659
Don't change
anything though.
335
00:14:29,693 --> 00:14:31,728
- Lar. Hey, Lar.
- One second.
336
00:14:31,762 --> 00:14:33,630
- No, Lar, wait a second.
- How you doing?
337
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,531
- You know what?
I've got to get going.
- One second.
338
00:14:35,566 --> 00:14:37,734
Did you get a chance
to pick up those beans?
I'm really low on coffee.
339
00:14:37,768 --> 00:14:40,903
You know, I went
and there was a lot
of traffic.
340
00:14:40,938 --> 00:14:43,239
I got stuck in traffic
and by the time I got there...
341
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:45,742
I went all the way over there,
the store was closed
342
00:14:45,776 --> 00:14:47,543
So I couldn't get 'em.
343
00:14:47,578 --> 00:14:49,445
So you didn't
get the beans?
344
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,414
No, I didn't
get the beans.
345
00:14:51,448 --> 00:14:52,815
So you didn't
do me the favor?
346
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,684
I attempted
to do you the favor.
347
00:14:54,718 --> 00:14:56,986
I tried to do you the favor.
What are you talking about?
348
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,955
- An attempt is not a favor.
- What?
349
00:14:58,989 --> 00:15:01,658
It is a favor.
It is a favor.
That's as good as a favor.
350
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:04,160
- The effort was there.
- What did you come back
with, though?
351
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,795
Well, the store
was closed.
352
00:15:05,829 --> 00:15:07,864
Driving to a coffee place
is not a favor.
353
00:15:07,898 --> 00:15:09,265
Where did I bring
the jumper cables,
354
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,334
halfway to your office
or to your office?
355
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:15,138
Mocha Joe has nothing to show
for your supposed favor.
356
00:15:15,172 --> 00:15:16,906
- I know.
- You have jumper cables.
What does he got?
357
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:19,776
- Exactly.
- He's got a guy who has
a story about traffic.
358
00:15:19,810 --> 00:15:21,544
- Thank you, Jerry.
- You're welcome, mocha Joe.
359
00:15:21,578 --> 00:15:23,112
Come on, I did a lot
for mocha joe.
360
00:15:23,147 --> 00:15:25,114
Mocha Joe doesn't need people
driving around for him.
361
00:15:25,149 --> 00:15:27,650
- He needs coffee.
- Whatever happened to
e for effort, Jerry?
362
00:15:27,685 --> 00:15:30,219
E for effort!
You people think about that.
363
00:15:30,254 --> 00:15:33,022
E for effort!
364
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,891
F for favor!
365
00:15:34,925 --> 00:15:36,893
C for coffee.
366
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:40,763
And by the time I got
outside they went to lunch
367
00:15:40,798 --> 00:15:43,466
in his car with
the tinted windows.
368
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,835
Who knows what's going on
with those tinted windows?
369
00:15:45,869 --> 00:15:47,303
Anything could be
going on in that car.
370
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:48,738
They could be
eating burritos
371
00:15:48,772 --> 00:15:50,807
behind those tinted
windows at lunch.
372
00:15:50,841 --> 00:15:53,109
That's your proof?
They've got tinted windows?
373
00:15:53,143 --> 00:15:55,411
It's not only that.
I told you what happened
on stage.
374
00:15:55,446 --> 00:15:57,146
The way they were getting
along and laughing
375
00:15:57,181 --> 00:15:58,681
and the touching
and all that.
376
00:15:58,716 --> 00:16:01,150
And last night
he was at her house.
377
00:16:01,185 --> 00:16:03,853
I'm sorry,
but you sound crazy.
378
00:16:03,887 --> 00:16:06,556
You didn't see them.
If you had seen them
you wouldn't say that.
379
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,092
I think you should
just let this blow over.
380
00:16:09,126 --> 00:16:11,961
This is nothing.
And just go back to work.
381
00:16:11,995 --> 00:16:14,630
Come on.
I'll see you later.
382
00:16:14,665 --> 00:16:15,898
All right.
383
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,600
Oh.
384
00:16:19,169 --> 00:16:21,437
- Hmm.
- What?
385
00:16:21,472 --> 00:16:23,606
You got a ring stain
on your table.
386
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,174
- Really?
- That's interesting.
387
00:16:25,209 --> 00:16:27,643
What?
At's interesting
about a ring stain?
388
00:16:27,678 --> 00:16:30,046
Wait a second.
389
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,082
- Yeah?
- I remember Susie
390
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,585
Had a drink
at the party.
391
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:38,521
She was standing
right by that table.
392
00:16:38,555 --> 00:16:40,456
- Hey, Jeff.
- Yeah?
393
00:16:40,491 --> 00:16:43,025
Oh, hi, Lar.
Jeff, did you call
the sprinkler guy?
394
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,128
- Because it's not working.
- Not yet.
395
00:16:45,162 --> 00:16:46,963
- You told me 10 minutes ago.
- Hey.
396
00:16:46,997 --> 00:16:49,398
- I'll call him.
- What?
397
00:16:49,433 --> 00:16:51,434
I notice you got a little
ring stain on your table.
398
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,035
I know.
I noticed that.
399
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:55,671
- How'd that happen
- I don't know.
400
00:16:55,706 --> 00:16:57,774
- No idea?
- No.
401
00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,643
Do you respect wood, Susie?
402
00:17:01,912 --> 00:17:05,314
Uh, yes, I do
respect wood. Why?
403
00:17:05,349 --> 00:17:08,351
You've demonstrated
a consistent lack or respect
for wood as I see it.
404
00:17:08,385 --> 00:17:10,419
I don't know what
you're getting at. I dot
know what this is about.
405
00:17:10,454 --> 00:17:11,721
I'll tell you
what I'm getting at.
406
00:17:11,755 --> 00:17:14,257
- I see a ring stain
on your table.
- Yeah.
407
00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:17,827
I remember you standing
over Julia's antique
table with a drink.
408
00:17:17,861 --> 00:17:20,930
- Yeah, therefore?
- Okay? I'm putting two
and two together.
409
00:17:20,964 --> 00:17:23,566
I think you left that ring
stain on Julia's table.
410
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,434
So don't tell me
you respect wood.
411
00:17:25,469 --> 00:17:27,203
Oh, I respect wood, Larry.
412
00:17:27,237 --> 00:17:28,938
I respect wood so much
413
00:17:28,972 --> 00:17:31,474
that if I had a piece
of wood in my hand right now
414
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,376
I'd beat the shit out
of you with it, okay?
415
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:36,279
- Mmm.
- Get the fuck out
of here, all right?
416
00:17:36,313 --> 00:17:38,014
Okay.
417
00:17:40,484 --> 00:17:43,686
- What is he doing, Jeff?
- I don't know anymore.
418
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,289
What are you--
you're looking for fucking
ring stains on my...
419
00:17:46,323 --> 00:17:48,424
Don't touch my books!
Get out!
420
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,459
Get the fuck out!
421
00:17:50,494 --> 00:17:53,229
Call the sprinkler guy!
422
00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:10,346
Oh, jeez.
It's bright out here.
423
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:15,351
- Hey.
- What did you do
to your windows?
424
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,953
I got them tinted.
425
00:18:16,987 --> 00:18:19,488
- Jason's guy
gave me a great deal.
- Oh, his guy?
426
00:18:19,523 --> 00:18:20,823
- Yeah.
- Really?
427
00:18:20,858 --> 00:18:23,259
I'm telling you, it makes
a big difference with the sun.
428
00:18:23,293 --> 00:18:26,295
- It's so bright.
- What happened
the other night?
429
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:27,396
What do you mean?
430
00:18:27,431 --> 00:18:29,498
I was supposed
to come over.
431
00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:33,102
You told me not
to come and you wound
up working with Jason.
432
00:18:33,136 --> 00:18:37,473
Well, you said you were
busy with your beans,
433
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,475
- Doing something
for mocha Joe.
- Busy with my beans?
434
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:41,143
I wasn't busy
with any beans.
435
00:18:41,178 --> 00:18:43,112
That's what you said
on the phone-- you were
doing something with beans.
436
00:18:43,146 --> 00:18:45,815
I was picking neans up.
I wasn't busy with them.
437
00:18:45,849 --> 00:18:47,116
That's busy.
438
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:49,619
I said the phrase
busy with beans?
I don't think so.
439
00:18:49,653 --> 00:18:51,854
You said beans
and clearly you were busy.
440
00:18:51,889 --> 00:18:53,923
So you could not
come over to my house.
441
00:18:53,957 --> 00:18:56,492
You want to think
I was busy with beans,
go ahead and think that.
442
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,594
That's what you
said on the phone.
Why would I make up beans?
443
00:18:58,629 --> 00:19:00,162
So what was Jason
doing at your house?
444
00:19:00,197 --> 00:19:03,065
- I'm just curious.
- I need to get going.
445
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,534
- You're being weird.
- I'm not being weird.
I'm just curious.
446
00:19:05,569 --> 00:19:06,969
I want to know
how he wound up there.
447
00:19:07,004 --> 00:19:08,704
Did he call you?
Did you call him?
448
00:19:08,739 --> 00:19:10,840
I'm curious.
449
00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:13,609
This is all your fault,
mocha Joe.
450
00:19:13,644 --> 00:19:16,145
- What's all my fault?
- Everything.
451
00:19:16,179 --> 00:19:18,381
- What are you talking about?
- You busied me with your beans.
452
00:19:18,415 --> 00:19:19,882
I'm not gonna forget this,
mocha Joe.
453
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:21,217
You still owe me
a favor, Larry.
454
00:19:21,251 --> 00:19:23,152
Yeah, I'll bring you
breakfast in bed tomorrow.
455
00:19:23,186 --> 00:19:25,588
Yeah, good.
I'll be hungry.
456
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,395
And we were talking about
you and the therapist says
457
00:19:32,429 --> 00:19:34,196
that maybe there's
another side to you.
458
00:19:34,231 --> 00:19:37,199
Yeah, not just one.
Dozens.
459
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,770
Should we sit down?
460
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:43,306
- Okay.
- Yeah.
461
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:46,709
I, uh--
I made some popcorn.
462
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:51,380
Okay, you know what?
I have an idea.
463
00:19:51,415 --> 00:19:53,849
I think we should
change the blocking.
Come here for a second.
464
00:19:53,884 --> 00:19:55,484
- Okay.
- Come here.
465
00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:57,386
- I want you
to sit over here.
- All right.
466
00:19:57,421 --> 00:19:59,989
- Jason, sit on the arm.
- I have an idea.
467
00:20:00,023 --> 00:20:02,658
I want you over here
on the stool.
468
00:20:02,693 --> 00:20:04,360
- Okay?
- Over there?
469
00:20:04,394 --> 00:20:06,228
- Yeah.
- We have the whole
popcorn thing.
470
00:20:06,263 --> 00:20:08,030
You know what?
Forget the stool.
Come here.
471
00:20:08,065 --> 00:20:09,932
- I got a better idea.
- Lar.
472
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:11,901
Here's what we're gonna do.
Yeah, come here.
473
00:20:11,935 --> 00:20:14,036
- Go in here.
- What's he gonna
do in there?
474
00:20:14,071 --> 00:20:15,805
You stay here.
You're gonna do
the scene in there.
475
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:18,140
- He's got to be next to her.
- That's funny.
476
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,076
- This is gonna be funny.
- No.
477
00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:22,345
I want to see
them get together.
478
00:20:22,379 --> 00:20:24,347
- Jerry?
- No no no.
479
00:20:24,381 --> 00:20:27,583
- Is this working for you?
- This is gonna be funny.
480
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:30,219
Can we just talk about
this for a second?
I think, um...
481
00:20:30,253 --> 00:20:32,421
Can we just...
that's a five.
482
00:20:32,456 --> 00:20:35,891
Did you get that?
I thought this was working.
483
00:20:35,926 --> 00:20:39,829
I don't get this idea.
This doesn't make any
sense at all.
484
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:43,833
Why? It's kind of quirky
that he's saying this stuff
from the bathroom.
485
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,634
Who else would do that?
486
00:20:45,669 --> 00:20:48,270
The bathroom?
What is going....
487
00:20:48,305 --> 00:20:51,040
- Something's up here.
- No.
488
00:20:51,074 --> 00:20:53,042
How many years
did we work together?
489
00:20:53,076 --> 00:20:55,144
We would get so tired,
490
00:20:55,178 --> 00:20:57,480
we spent so many
hours together.
491
00:20:57,514 --> 00:21:01,083
We would divulge the most
intimate details of our
personal lives, right?
492
00:21:01,118 --> 00:21:03,486
- Right.
- Like twins in
a womb, right?
493
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,321
- That's how we did this show.
- Right.
494
00:21:05,355 --> 00:21:08,624
So whatever it is,
you can tell me.
495
00:21:08,658 --> 00:21:11,027
Everything's fine.
496
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,695
You're sure?
497
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,263
Yeah.
498
00:21:14,297 --> 00:21:16,465
Completely sure?
499
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,801
Yeah.
500
00:21:32,015 --> 00:21:33,816
All right.
501
00:21:39,489 --> 00:21:41,924
That's lunch.
One hour.
502
00:21:41,958 --> 00:21:44,560
Hey, let's go to that Thai
joint we used to go to.
503
00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:46,929
Remember you used to get that
pad thai with the noodles?
504
00:21:46,963 --> 00:21:49,198
- Yeah, I can't
do it right now.
- Come on.
505
00:21:49,232 --> 00:21:52,034
- Maybe we'll do it tomorrow.
- The peanut sauce.
506
00:21:52,069 --> 00:21:53,936
Where's Cheryl?
507
00:21:53,970 --> 00:21:55,871
She left with Jason.
508
00:22:03,346 --> 00:22:05,281
Hey, did you see Cheryl?
509
00:22:05,315 --> 00:22:07,116
No, she went that way.
510
00:22:27,504 --> 00:22:29,805
Cheryl!
Aha!
511
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,508
no!
512
00:22:32,542 --> 00:22:34,210
Mocha Joe!
513
00:22:34,244 --> 00:22:36,779
mocha Joe!
514
00:22:36,813 --> 00:22:38,647
Somebody help me!
Oh shit!
515
00:22:38,682 --> 00:22:39,949
Oh no!
Ow! Oh no!
516
00:22:39,983 --> 00:22:43,419
Oh, mocha Joe!
Mocha Joe!
517
00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:49,458
They're going to destroy
the dogs now because
mocha Joe was bitten.
518
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:51,494
- Really?
- Yes.
519
00:22:51,528 --> 00:22:54,230
- Huh.
- You have got to
talk to him
520
00:22:54,264 --> 00:22:56,699
and ask him to just
drop the charges.
521
00:22:56,733 --> 00:22:58,134
They're Jason's dogs.
522
00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,936
That's not my fault he's got
some killer dogs in there.
523
00:23:00,971 --> 00:23:03,873
Why are you going through
his car, by the way?
524
00:23:03,907 --> 00:23:05,274
Isn't that
a little suspicious?
525
00:23:05,308 --> 00:23:08,310
Well, I'm thinking about
buying one of those
526
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:10,613
and I wanted to check out
the headroom.
527
00:23:10,647 --> 00:23:12,414
Then you go to a showroom.
Go ta car dealer
528
00:23:12,449 --> 00:23:13,883
And check it out.
Talk to a salesman.
529
00:23:13,917 --> 00:23:16,952
Look, the point is
you can't let the dogs die.
530
00:23:16,987 --> 00:23:18,888
- You just can't.
- Really?
531
00:23:18,922 --> 00:23:21,757
Yes, because Jason
will be a basketcase
532
00:23:21,791 --> 00:23:23,325
and we have a show
in three days.
533
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,961
Okay fine,
I'll go talk to mocha Joe.
534
00:23:25,996 --> 00:23:27,997
But you know what?
It's not gonna make
a difference.
535
00:23:28,031 --> 00:23:29,732
He doesn't want
to talk to me.
536
00:23:29,766 --> 00:23:32,101
I'm gonna start to work
on this A scene.
537
00:23:32,135 --> 00:23:34,737
See if we can get
a better opening.
538
00:23:38,742 --> 00:23:40,409
What is this?
539
00:23:40,443 --> 00:23:43,479
Looks like a stain
from coffee.
540
00:23:43,513 --> 00:23:45,181
Really?
541
00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:48,551
Yeah, I got a ring
stain from some coffee.
I put some coffee there.
542
00:23:48,585 --> 00:23:50,920
Let me ask you a question.
543
00:23:53,323 --> 00:23:56,158
Did you leave a ring stain on
Julia louis-Dreyfus's table?
544
00:23:56,193 --> 00:23:57,359
Oh no.
I would never do that.
545
00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,994
How did this get here?
546
00:23:59,029 --> 00:24:01,163
That's between
the coffee and the wood.
547
00:24:01,198 --> 00:24:03,532
- No, you don't respect wood.
- I do respect wood.
548
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:05,100
This is a low-grade wood.
549
00:24:05,135 --> 00:24:07,536
Oh, so you discriminate
amongst wood?
550
00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:09,972
I guess you could say that.
551
00:24:10,006 --> 00:24:12,608
I respect all wood.
I respect pine.
552
00:24:12,642 --> 00:24:14,977
I respect walnut.
I respect oak.
553
00:24:15,011 --> 00:24:17,146
Doesn't matter, okay?
You don't.
554
00:24:17,180 --> 00:24:19,114
And what about the dogs?
Respect for the dogs?
555
00:24:19,149 --> 00:24:21,217
Your heart bleeds
for the wood
556
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:23,953
but not for actual life.
557
00:24:23,987 --> 00:24:27,323
So you go to a funeral,
you're more upset about the
coffin than the deceased?
558
00:24:27,357 --> 00:24:30,693
Did you leave that stain
on her coffee table, Jerry?
559
00:24:30,727 --> 00:24:32,528
You've lost your mind.
560
00:24:32,562 --> 00:24:34,630
Okay.
561
00:24:34,664 --> 00:24:37,800
I'not done with
that ring stain so fast.
562
00:24:37,834 --> 00:24:41,537
Oh, Larry David,
wood detective.
563
00:24:43,206 --> 00:24:45,407
- Thanks, mocha Joe.
- Thanks, buddy.
564
00:24:47,844 --> 00:24:51,213
- Hi, mocha Joe.
- What do you want, Larry?
565
00:24:51,248 --> 00:24:53,415
The thing is,
mocha Joe,
566
00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:55,417
If you press charges
567
00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:59,154
those dogs are gonna
get put down.
568
00:24:59,189 --> 00:25:01,523
That's right, Larry.
Those dogs are getting gassed.
569
00:25:01,558 --> 00:25:04,727
I'd do it myself if I could.
And I'd have it televised.
570
00:25:04,761 --> 00:25:06,895
Well...
571
00:25:06,930 --> 00:25:09,565
Then maybe you
could do me a...
572
00:25:09,599 --> 00:25:12,134
Solid.
573
00:25:12,168 --> 00:25:13,836
A solid, Larry?
574
00:25:13,870 --> 00:25:17,139
Is there like another
word for solid?
575
00:25:18,742 --> 00:25:21,443
. Fav...
I can't hear.
What, Larry?
576
00:25:24,514 --> 00:25:27,583
- Favor.
- Did you say favor, Larry?
577
00:25:29,052 --> 00:25:31,086
Does this favor
involve a tip?
578
00:25:33,690 --> 00:25:36,025
Okay, mocha Joe.
579
00:25:36,059 --> 00:25:38,160
I guess it does.
580
00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:43,666
That's for me
bringing the jumper
cables to your office.
581
00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:45,501
- Oh, and thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
582
00:25:45,535 --> 00:25:48,270
- 'cause I know how
difficult that was for you.
- It was.
583
00:25:48,305 --> 00:25:51,106
- It was hard work.
- Long walk.
584
00:25:51,141 --> 00:25:54,043
That's for not picking up
my fucking coffee beans.
585
00:25:54,077 --> 00:25:56,779
I went down there,
but the store was closed.
586
00:25:56,813 --> 00:25:58,547
Not my fault.
587
00:26:00,784 --> 00:26:02,451
One dog lives.
588
00:26:02,485 --> 00:26:05,187
Hey, I'm here to pick up that
coffee for Jason Alexander.
589
00:26:05,221 --> 00:26:08,223
Right, a black coffee no sugar
and one vanilla decaf latte.
590
00:26:08,258 --> 00:26:10,659
- Great. Thanks so much.
- Vanilla decaf latte?
591
00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:13,395
- Yeah, a vanilla decaf latte.
- All right.
592
00:26:13,430 --> 00:26:16,265
The dogs, okay?
Are we good?
593
00:26:16,299 --> 00:26:18,133
Stay of execution.
594
00:26:18,168 --> 00:26:21,036
How you doing, ladies?
595
00:26:27,811 --> 00:26:30,512
- Hey.
- Hey, coffee time.
A little caffeine.
596
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,448
- Yes.
- Thank you, I will get
it where it's going.
597
00:26:32,482 --> 00:26:34,249
- Enjoy.
- All right.
598
00:26:39,122 --> 00:26:41,357
Hey, Cheryl,
what's going on in there?
599
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:43,025
Cheryl, open up.
600
00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:45,227
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Where is he?
601
00:26:45,261 --> 00:26:47,229
- What?
- Huh? Where is he?
602
00:26:47,263 --> 00:26:50,099
Larry, hey!
603
00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:52,935
That's right!
I see you!
604
00:26:52,969 --> 00:26:56,004
- Laughing at Lar?
- Larry!
605
00:26:56,039 --> 00:26:58,073
Scampering and scurrying,
I see you!
606
00:26:58,108 --> 00:26:59,641
Larry, what are you doing?
607
00:26:59,676 --> 00:27:01,744
What am I doing?
What are you doing?
608
00:27:01,778 --> 00:27:04,079
- What's going in here?
- Nothing.
609
00:27:04,114 --> 00:27:06,582
Something is going on,
otherwise he wouldn't
be running away.
610
00:27:06,616 --> 00:27:08,851
Well, you're
intimidating him.
611
00:27:08,885 --> 00:27:12,454
- Really?
- Yeah, he's very sensitive,
by the way.
612
00:27:12,489 --> 00:27:13,922
- Oh, is he?
- Yes.
613
00:27:13,957 --> 00:27:16,024
- Jason's sensitive?
- He's sensitive.
614
00:27:16,059 --> 00:27:18,961
He's funny.
He's a little neurotic,
so things like this
615
00:27:18,995 --> 00:27:20,696
- Can get under his skin.
- Are you kidding?
616
00:27:20,730 --> 00:27:22,831
- That's George.
That's not Jason.
- That's Jason.
617
00:27:22,866 --> 00:27:25,033
That's George.
That's all George.
That's me.
618
00:27:25,068 --> 00:27:29,438
I wrote that stuff.
You're not attracted to him,
you're attracted to me.
619
00:27:29,472 --> 00:27:31,106
I'm George.
620
00:27:42,285 --> 00:27:44,153
Did you work
on this with him?
621
00:27:44,187 --> 00:27:45,921
I didn't.
622
00:27:45,955 --> 00:27:48,424
This is like a major...
he took the whole thing apart.
623
00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:52,027
- Lar, what did you do?
- What?
624
00:27:52,061 --> 00:27:55,898
- It's all different.
- I made some changes.
625
00:27:55,932 --> 00:27:57,232
I changed the ending.
626
00:27:57,267 --> 00:27:59,234
You got a whole new
show here.
627
00:27:59,269 --> 00:28:02,037
So George and Amanda,
they're not gonna
end up together?
628
00:28:02,071 --> 00:28:03,505
- No.
- Oh, come on.
629
00:28:03,540 --> 00:28:04,940
- Oh my God.
- Are you kidding?
630
00:28:04,974 --> 00:28:06,575
It was so lame.
Who's gonna buy that?
631
00:28:06,609 --> 00:28:08,911
They get together...
we don't dendings
like that.
632
00:28:08,945 --> 00:28:11,313
- That's why it's so funny.
- Exactly.
633
00:28:11,347 --> 00:28:13,715
It's all bullshit.
What couples get together
in the end?
634
00:28:13,750 --> 00:28:15,851
- You know it's fantasy crap.
- It doesn't matter.
635
00:28:15,885 --> 00:28:18,854
Larry, we already
screwed up one finale.
We can't do another.
636
00:28:18,888 --> 00:28:21,723
We didn't screw up a finale.
That was a good finale.
637
00:28:21,758 --> 00:28:24,993
- Let's talk about this.
- Larry, this changes
the whole thing.
638
00:28:25,028 --> 00:28:27,262
I was very invested
in that story.
639
00:28:27,297 --> 00:28:29,798
That story had a great ending.
This is a whole different thing.
640
00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:32,234
Well, this is the show.
This is the show.
641
00:28:32,268 --> 00:28:35,637
You know what?
I'm not comfortable with that.
642
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:38,540
- All right.
I'm sorry, guys, I can't.
- Jason, come on.
643
00:28:38,575 --> 00:28:40,542
No, Jason.
You're not wrong,
but we can't.
644
00:28:40,577 --> 00:28:44,413
Larry, do what you want to do.
I quit, thank you very much.
645
00:28:44,447 --> 00:28:46,648
- Jason.
- I'm sorry, Mike.
646
00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:49,651
- I'm sorry, I can't do it.
- This is working out great.
647
00:28:49,686 --> 00:28:53,021
All right, okay.
So how do we do the show
without Jason?
648
00:28:53,056 --> 00:28:56,425
It's just a script, Larry.
There's no show without Jason.
649
00:28:56,459 --> 00:28:58,727
How do you even have the show?
What do you have?
650
00:28:58,761 --> 00:29:01,296
You have a three-legged
goat here.
651
00:29:01,331 --> 00:29:03,165
So what are we doing?
652
00:29:03,199 --> 00:29:05,000
I don't know.
We're not doing anything.
653
00:29:05,034 --> 00:29:07,102
Larry, what do you
want to do?
654
00:29:09,038 --> 00:29:11,840
I'll play George.
655
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:14,243
- What?
- I'll play George.
656
00:29:14,277 --> 00:29:16,745
- I'll play George.
- What?
657
00:29:16,779 --> 00:29:18,814
Yes, I can do it.
658
00:29:18,848 --> 00:29:20,349
You'll play what,
George's butler?
What do you mean?
659
00:29:20,383 --> 00:29:23,118
No, I will play
George Costanza.
660
00:29:23,152 --> 00:29:25,721
I can do it.
I know I can.
661
00:29:25,755 --> 00:29:28,557
I wrote it.
The character
is based on me.
662
00:29:28,591 --> 00:29:30,959
There were two Darrens
on "Bewitched."
663
00:29:30,994 --> 00:29:32,694
Nobody liked
that second Darren.
664
00:29:32,729 --> 00:29:34,496
- I didn't care
for the second Darren.
- But you bought it.
665
00:29:34,531 --> 00:29:37,165
- Oh my God.
- Do you understand
what this is?
666
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,068
It's iconic
television here.
667
00:29:40,103 --> 00:29:42,371
The set's an icon.
He's an icon.
668
00:29:42,405 --> 00:29:45,040
She's an icon.
He was an icon.
669
00:29:45,074 --> 00:29:48,477
Icon.
No-con.
670
00:29:48,511 --> 00:29:51,079
There's no John, Paul,
George and Larry.
671
00:29:51,114 --> 00:29:54,349
It's not what they want.
672
00:29:54,384 --> 00:29:56,385
What are we gonna do?
673
00:29:56,419 --> 00:29:59,454
Well, somebody's gonna
have to go get Jason.
674
00:29:59,489 --> 00:30:02,157
Let me try it.
Let me try it.
675
00:30:02,191 --> 00:30:05,160
Let me do one scene.
What have you got to lose?
676
00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:11,500
Action!
677
00:30:11,534 --> 00:30:13,735
So I'm in a bank
the other day.
I'm on the line
678
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:16,471
And the guy in front
of me is leaving a space
in front of him.
679
00:30:16,506 --> 00:30:18,540
Well, you know,
I can't take that.
680
00:30:18,575 --> 00:30:20,976
- No, you can't take that.
- I'm thinking, "come on,
tighten it up, dude.
681
00:30:21,010 --> 00:30:22,244
- Tighten it up."
- right.
682
00:30:22,278 --> 00:30:23,845
So then--
683
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,081
Oh, you're gonna do
the blackberry-head-down
thing on me now?
684
00:30:26,115 --> 00:30:28,050
What is with
the blackberry people?
685
00:30:28,084 --> 00:30:30,586
Can I just pick up a magazine,
hold in front of your face
686
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:32,788
and read it
while you're talking?
Is that okay too?
687
00:30:32,822 --> 00:30:35,857
Wait, what magazine?
688
00:30:39,862 --> 00:30:42,664
Hey, George.
689
00:30:42,699 --> 00:30:44,700
Are you happy?
690
00:30:44,734 --> 00:30:46,602
- What?
- Huh?
691
00:30:46,636 --> 00:30:48,470
I want to know
if you're happy.
692
00:30:48,504 --> 00:30:50,205
Yeah, I'm reasonably
happy.
693
00:30:50,239 --> 00:30:52,474
You had to interfere,
didn't you?
694
00:30:52,508 --> 00:30:54,242
George, what are you
talking about?
695
00:30:54,277 --> 00:30:56,612
Kramer and I were all set
to do this fake mugging
696
00:30:56,646 --> 00:30:59,414
and you had to put all these
ideas in his head that he was
doing something wrong.
697
00:30:59,449 --> 00:31:02,484
George, wouldn't it be easier
just to talk to Amanda?
698
00:31:02,518 --> 00:31:05,220
No. No.
699
00:31:05,254 --> 00:31:08,690
No. Ho-ho.
700
00:31:08,725 --> 00:31:10,826
George is getting upset.
701
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,035
Huh? Huh?
What do you think?
702
00:31:23,006 --> 00:31:25,774
Yeah, I just quit.
I did.
703
00:31:25,808 --> 00:31:27,843
I tried to do George
and they didn't like it.
704
00:31:27,877 --> 00:31:30,679
You know what?
Let them do their stupid
ending with Jason.
705
00:31:30,713 --> 00:31:33,649
He's already on his
way back here.
706
00:31:33,683 --> 00:31:35,984
I don't care.
707
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:37,886
Well, you know what?
708
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,656
The only reason I did this
whole thing was to be with her,
709
00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:42,924
to work with her,
to get her back.
710
00:31:44,293 --> 00:31:46,728
But if I can't have her,
what's the point?
711
00:31:48,097 --> 00:31:50,832
I don't care.
I'm-- I'm done.
712
00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:52,801
I'm quitting.
713
00:31:57,740 --> 00:32:00,842
But man wants to make
his woman happy.
714
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:02,344
Wants to do it.
715
00:32:02,378 --> 00:32:04,112
Doesn't know how
to do it.
716
00:32:05,648 --> 00:32:08,150
Sometimes we do it,
don't know how we did it.
717
00:32:08,184 --> 00:32:10,052
Can't ask, "what did I do?"
718
00:32:10,086 --> 00:32:12,154
Looks like you don't know
what you're doing.
719
00:32:12,188 --> 00:32:13,889
Can't do nothing.
720
00:32:13,923 --> 00:32:15,757
Woman says, "I can't believe
you're doing this."
721
00:32:15,792 --> 00:32:18,260
Man says, "doing what?"
woman starts crying.
722
00:32:18,294 --> 00:32:20,562
Man says,
"I didn't do anything."
723
00:32:20,596 --> 00:32:22,798
Woman says, "exactly."
724
00:32:25,168 --> 00:32:28,036
It's an unwritten rule
of etiquette, George.
725
00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:30,205
- Who says so?
- No one knows.
726
00:32:30,239 --> 00:32:33,275
That's why it's unwritten.
You do not blow your nose
727
00:32:33,309 --> 00:32:35,477
into a cloth napkin
in a restaurant.
728
00:32:35,511 --> 00:32:37,646
Why?
They wash it.
729
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,716
It's just not done
in polite society.
730
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:42,617
It's not done
in impolite society.
731
00:32:42,652 --> 00:32:45,287
Even the impolite
don't do it.
732
00:32:45,321 --> 00:32:47,923
The other day
you sneezed into a napkin.
733
00:32:47,957 --> 00:32:49,224
- That's different.
- How?
734
00:32:49,258 --> 00:32:51,326
A sneeze is involuntary.
735
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,596
You have 2.5 seconds
before that bomb goes off.
736
00:32:56,099 --> 00:32:58,967
Well, I live by my rules.
I don't live by your rules.
737
00:32:59,001 --> 00:33:02,003
- Did you do this
in front of your wife?
- All the time.
738
00:33:02,038 --> 00:33:04,206
Can't figure out
why she left you.
739
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,575
yeah?
740
00:33:06,609 --> 00:33:08,276
- It's Elaine.
- Come on up.
741
00:33:08,311 --> 00:33:10,378
Hey, George.
742
00:33:10,413 --> 00:33:12,080
Did you see this?
743
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:14,983
- It's an article
about Bernie Madoff.
- Kramer.
744
00:33:15,017 --> 00:33:18,220
Look at this.
They got the floor plan
to all his offices.
745
00:33:18,254 --> 00:33:20,489
- Here's where he was.
- Kramer, he doesn't want--
746
00:33:20,523 --> 00:33:23,558
You couldn't get to him.
It was a ponzi scheme.
747
00:33:23,593 --> 00:33:25,660
All right, do I need
to hear this?
748
00:33:25,695 --> 00:33:27,295
I know what happened.
749
00:33:27,330 --> 00:33:30,365
So what's the big deal?
You lost a couple of million.
750
00:33:30,399 --> 00:33:32,734
It was more than a couple.
751
00:33:32,769 --> 00:33:34,369
Well, it was more
th a great idea.
752
00:33:34,403 --> 00:33:37,806
An iphone application
that leads you via your G.P.S.
753
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,075
to the nearest
acceptable toilet
754
00:33:40,109 --> 00:33:42,477
wherever you are
in the world.
755
00:33:42,512 --> 00:33:45,046
The itoilet.
756
00:33:45,081 --> 00:33:47,949
And I thought of it.
757
00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:49,951
That was one killer app.
758
00:33:49,952 --> 00:33:52,020
Why'd you have to give it all
to that crook Madoff?
759
00:33:52,054 --> 00:33:53,455
I don't know..
760
00:33:53,489 --> 00:33:56,224
How could you be so
fiscally irresponsible?
761
00:33:58,461 --> 00:34:01,062
All of it, Jerry.
All of it.
762
00:34:04,467 --> 00:34:07,235
- Madoff?
- Madoff!
763
00:34:12,608 --> 00:34:16,444
Well, I'll never meet
anyone else again.
764
00:34:16,479 --> 00:34:18,647
Probably not.
765
00:34:18,681 --> 00:34:21,149
- Meeting is hard.
- Meeting is hard.
766
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:24,820
- Why can't you meet?
- Can't meet. Why is that?
767
00:34:24,854 --> 00:34:28,456
This is what single people
are thinking about the minute
they wake up in the morning.
768
00:34:28,491 --> 00:34:30,725
And yet we're surrounded
by people.
769
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,794
They're right next to us
on the bus, on the street.
770
00:34:32,829 --> 00:34:34,863
- But we can't meet them.
- Why won't they meet us?
771
00:34:34,897 --> 00:34:37,666
Because strangers
have a bad reputation.
772
00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:41,703
A few bad strangers
that ruined it for
the rest of us.
773
00:34:41,737 --> 00:34:43,705
It's unfortunate.
774
00:34:43,739 --> 00:34:46,208
Oh, Amanda.
775
00:34:46,242 --> 00:34:49,311
- She was so easy
to talk to.
- Mmm.
776
00:34:49,345 --> 00:34:52,247
Her like will never
come this way again.
777
00:34:52,281 --> 00:34:54,616
Oh, here she comes now.
778
00:34:56,752 --> 00:34:58,320
Oh!
779
00:34:58,354 --> 00:35:01,256
- George.
- Hey.
780
00:35:01,290 --> 00:35:03,124
How are you?
781
00:35:03,159 --> 00:35:06,494
Pretty pretty pretty
pretty pretty good.
782
00:35:06,529 --> 00:35:08,563
- Well, you look good.
- I am good.
783
00:35:08,598 --> 00:35:10,165
- I'm good too.
- Jerry's good.
784
00:35:10,199 --> 00:35:11,933
- Yeah.
- Good.
785
00:35:11,968 --> 00:35:15,270
Why don't you take a seat?
Just having some coffee.
786
00:35:15,304 --> 00:35:17,405
Okay.
787
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,909
So, what brings you here?
788
00:35:20,943 --> 00:35:23,511
I'm meeting someone.
789
00:35:23,546 --> 00:35:25,146
Dating?
790
00:35:25,181 --> 00:35:28,516
Just sex.
791
00:35:28,551 --> 00:35:30,518
She is easy to talk to.
792
00:35:45,301 --> 00:35:48,003
What's going on?
Virginia's...
793
00:35:48,037 --> 00:35:49,905
- Doing the show.
- Virginia's doing the show.
794
00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:51,706
I know.
795
00:35:51,741 --> 00:35:53,375
I quit.
796
00:35:53,409 --> 00:35:55,877
You quit?
797
00:35:55,912 --> 00:35:58,280
Well, you know,
Virginia's neck got better.
798
00:35:58,314 --> 00:36:01,082
She should have had the part.
She was originally cast.
799
00:36:01,117 --> 00:36:03,485
And I got in a big
fight with Jason.
800
00:36:03,519 --> 00:36:05,954
- You got in a fight
with Jason?
- Yeah, big fight.
801
00:36:05,988 --> 00:36:09,891
- What did you fight about?
- I called his book a pamphlet.
802
00:36:09,926 --> 00:36:12,260
You called his book
a pamphlet?
803
00:36:12,295 --> 00:36:14,963
- It's so thin.
- It is, it's very thin.
804
00:36:14,997 --> 00:36:17,332
It's not a book.
I know it's not a book.
805
00:36:17,366 --> 00:36:18,667
No, it's not a book.
806
00:36:18,701 --> 00:36:22,470
And then, I don't know,
after you left...
807
00:36:24,106 --> 00:36:26,675
It just,
I don't know.
808
00:36:26,709 --> 00:36:28,576
- Wasn't the same?
- It wasn't the same.
809
00:36:28,611 --> 00:36:30,946
I'm watching the show.
Come on in.
810
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:33,581
- I got you a coffee.
- You did?
811
00:36:33,616 --> 00:36:35,650
- Yeah, it's a mocha Joe.
- Mocha Joe?
812
00:36:35,685 --> 00:36:37,786
Yeah.
813
00:36:40,456 --> 00:36:41,890
Hey, you know what?
814
00:36:41,924 --> 00:36:43,591
I have to call
my mother in Florida
815
00:36:43,626 --> 00:36:45,126
and tell her
we're back together.
816
00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:47,329
This could be the news
that finally kills her.
817
00:36:47,363 --> 00:36:49,898
Because of the shock
or because she doesn't
like me?
818
00:36:49,932 --> 00:36:52,667
I'm fine either way.
819
00:36:52,702 --> 00:36:55,503
What do I say
if she asks me why?
820
00:36:55,538 --> 00:36:58,940
Tell her that sometimes you
have to be away from something
821
00:36:58,975 --> 00:37:00,608
to really appreciate it.
822
00:37:00,643 --> 00:37:02,811
That's how I feel
about Cuban food.
823
00:37:02,845 --> 00:37:06,214
When I'm eating it
I don't really like it.
824
00:37:06,248 --> 00:37:08,316
When I'm away for a little
while I miss it.
825
00:37:13,723 --> 00:37:16,324
- Well, they're back.
- Who?
826
00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:18,293
George and Amanda
are getting back together.
827
00:37:18,327 --> 00:37:21,863
- Get out.
- That's recidivism.
828
00:37:21,897 --> 00:37:24,632
It's the same thing I saw last
night on "prison Lockdown."
829
00:37:24,667 --> 00:37:27,068
George couldn't make it
on the outside.
830
00:37:27,103 --> 00:37:29,404
He doesn't have the tools.
831
00:37:29,438 --> 00:37:31,673
Hey, thanks for getting
that doll for Isabelle.
832
00:37:31,707 --> 00:37:34,042
- Was she happy with it?
- Yeah, she liked it.
833
00:37:34,076 --> 00:37:36,344
Did she comment on the fact
that her doll is now black?
834
00:37:36,379 --> 00:37:38,380
Didn't say a word except,
835
00:37:38,414 --> 00:37:40,849
"tell daddy thank you."
836
00:37:40,883 --> 00:37:43,451
daddy.
837
00:37:46,789 --> 00:37:48,857
- Hey!
- Hey!
838
00:37:48,891 --> 00:37:51,559
- It's exciting.
- Well done. Well done.
839
00:37:51,594 --> 00:37:53,828
- What?
- What's wrong?
840
00:37:53,863 --> 00:37:55,697
I'll tell you
what's wrong.
841
00:37:55,731 --> 00:37:59,100
She wants me
to sign a pre-nup.
842
00:37:59,135 --> 00:38:01,736
Oh, so in case
it doesn't work out
843
00:38:01,771 --> 00:38:05,607
you can't get to the money
that was yours to begin with.
844
00:38:05,641 --> 00:38:09,411
See, that's another
ponzi scheme.
845
00:38:09,445 --> 00:38:12,714
So, George, are you marrying
her for your money?
846
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:15,583
none of your business,
Elaine.
847
00:38:17,686 --> 00:38:19,554
All;
no!
848
00:38:19,588 --> 00:38:21,923
- Oh, yeah.
- That was so good.
849
00:38:21,957 --> 00:38:24,559
- That was great.
- That was really good.
850
00:38:24,593 --> 00:38:25,894
It was really--
yeah.
851
00:38:25,928 --> 00:38:27,562
And you know what?
852
00:38:27,596 --> 00:38:30,065
That ending was so much better
than the one that I wrote,
853
00:38:30,099 --> 00:38:32,967
- I have to say.
- It was.
854
00:38:33,002 --> 00:38:35,870
Yeah, because they
belong together.
855
00:38:42,711 --> 00:38:44,579
Really?
856
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:46,381
Don't you think?
857
00:38:47,550 --> 00:38:48,850
Are you sure?
858
00:38:48,884 --> 00:38:50,952
I'm absolutely positive.
859
00:38:57,093 --> 00:38:59,427
Hmm.
860
00:39:02,331 --> 00:39:04,466
Oh, sorry about that.
861
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:06,367
A ring stain?
862
00:39:06,402 --> 00:39:08,937
I have a bad habit
of just putting my drink
down on the table.
863
00:39:08,971 --> 00:39:12,307
A bad habit?
You just put your drink
down on the wood.
864
00:39:12,341 --> 00:39:14,642
Look at that stain you made.
This is a new table.
865
00:39:14,677 --> 00:39:17,612
Well, we'll just sand it
off or something.
866
00:39:20,549 --> 00:39:22,450
Do you respect wood?
867
00:39:25,421 --> 00:39:28,456
I... guess so.
868
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:31,392
You guess so?
869
00:39:31,427 --> 00:39:33,661
You don't know
if you respect wood?
870
00:39:33,696 --> 00:39:36,831
I never thought
about it before.
871
00:39:36,866 --> 00:39:38,666
I guess I do.
872
00:39:38,701 --> 00:39:40,768
Oh my God.
873
00:39:40,803 --> 00:39:43,238
You had a cup like that
at Julia's party.
874
00:39:43,272 --> 00:39:46,608
You were standing
right by that table.
875
00:39:46,642 --> 00:39:49,644
You left the ring stain
on Julia's table.
876
00:39:49,678 --> 00:39:52,780
She blamed me
the whole time,
but it was you.
877
00:39:52,815 --> 00:39:55,216
- You left the stain.
- Okay.
878
00:39:55,251 --> 00:39:57,552
Well, it's no big deal.
879
00:39:57,586 --> 00:39:59,721
You're right.
880
00:39:59,755 --> 00:40:02,190
You're right,
it is no big deal.
881
00:40:03,459 --> 00:40:05,126
Having said that,
882
00:40:05,161 --> 00:40:07,829
I would love for you
to call Julia and tell her
883
00:40:07,863 --> 00:40:11,065
- That you left
the ring stain.
- I'm not calling Julia.
884
00:40:11,100 --> 00:40:13,134
Yeah, just tell her
that you were the one
885
00:40:13,169 --> 00:40:14,869
Who left the stain
on the antique table.
886
00:40:14,904 --> 00:40:16,538
- Hold it one second.
- I'm not gonna do that.
887
00:40:16,572 --> 00:40:18,206
- Yeah, come on.
- I'm not doing that.
888
00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:20,108
- I want you to talk to her.
- I don't want to talk to her.
889
00:40:20,142 --> 00:40:22,410
- Just here, hold it.
- No, please.
890
00:40:22,444 --> 00:40:25,547
- Larry.
- Hey, Jules.
891
00:40:26,781 --> 00:40:32,082
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
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