1
00:00:01,580 --> 00:00:03,409
It was a beautiful morning

2
00:00:03,410 --> 00:00:05,120
in East Texas.

3
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,159
The kind of morning that
made you want to get up,

4
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,310
get dressed and test that acceleration

5
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:19,049
due to gravity does not
depend on an object's motion.

6
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:20,679
I love Saturdays.

7
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,859
The Earth causes the same
gravitational acceleration

8
00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:24,860
of everything,

9
00:00:24,861 --> 00:00:27,819
even a doll and a flying Ping-Pong ball.

10
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:29,759
It's not often a man of science

11
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,529
gets to say "Yippee
ki-yay," and mean it, but...

12
00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:35,429
Yippee ki-yay.

13
00:00:39,530 --> 00:00:40,760
Morning, Herschel.

14
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:43,110
Hey, George. Uh, you didn't see a dog

15
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,809
wandering around here, did you?

16
00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:46,529
No. Y'all get a dog?

17
00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,709
Uh, sort of. We took him
in after my brother-in-law

18
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:51,279
had to go live in a gated community.

19
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,179
Oh, that sounds nice, uh,
they got a no pets policy?

20
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,229
He's in jail, George.

21
00:00:55,230 --> 00:00:56,249
Right, sure.

22
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:57,519
In physics,

23
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:58,819
nothing feels better

24
00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:00,589
than predicting an outcome.

25
00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:02,329
I love predictability.

26
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:04,580
The force of gravity: predictable.

27
00:01:04,590 --> 00:01:06,989
Nuclear fusion: predictable.

28
00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:09,319
My brother peeing in the shower:

29
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,489
repulsive, but predictable.

30
00:01:11,490 --> 00:01:13,379
What isn't predictable:

31
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,439
dogs.

32
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,780
I've always been terrified of dogs.

33
00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:21,570
To me, they're nothing but
big, furry question marks.

34
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:23,479
Question marks with teeth.

35
00:01:29,450 --> 00:01:33,669
In panic situations, I'd
often lose consciousness.

36
00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:37,619
This time, I only lost my voice.

37
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:38,960
Help.

38
00:01:38,970 --> 00:01:41,320
Please help.

39
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:58,940
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

40
00:01:58,950 --> 00:02:00,869
Uh, I was just admiring

41
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:03,480
Grandpa Smurf's unique walking stick.

42
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,119
Smurf-a-loo-loo.

43
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,439
That's not my walking stick.

44
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,519
Lunch is ready.

45
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:08,889
Can you go get your brother?

46
00:02:08,890 --> 00:02:10,420
I'm watching TV.

47
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:11,820
Just go.

48
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:15,429
I have to do smurfing
everything around here.

49
00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:16,999
I heard that.

50
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,549
I said "smurfing."

51
00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:20,430
And I heard how you said it.

52
00:02:21,970 --> 00:02:24,300
She can cut her own crusts off.

53
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,169
Sheldon?

54
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:28,570
Who are you?

55
00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:30,350
You're so cute.

56
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,909
Be careful.

57
00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:34,649
What are you doing up there?

58
00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:36,449
Staying alive.

59
00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:37,869
Whose dog is this?

60
00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:39,789
I don't know. Get help.

61
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:41,350
Well, how did he get into the garage?

62
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,489
Please get help.

63
00:02:43,490 --> 00:02:44,620
Maybe we can keep it.

64
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:46,729
I'm begging you, get help now.

65
00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:49,459
First, I have to tell you something.

66
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:50,829
What?

67
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:52,730
Lunch is ready.

68
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:58,709
Will you look at that?

69
00:02:58,710 --> 00:03:00,390
What kind of dog chews through wood?

70
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,009
Y'all are feeding him, right?

71
00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:03,370
Maybe he's teething.

72
00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:04,690
You know, when Billy was little,

73
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,219
he chewed right through his playpen.

74
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,489
- No kidding?
- Only had three teeth.

75
00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:10,369
Mostly gummed it.

76
00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:12,699
So how y'all want to fix it?

77
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,069
Well, I figure I'll patch it,

78
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,949
run some chicken wire
along the bottom...

79
00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:17,809
That way, he don't
chew through it again.

80
00:03:17,810 --> 00:03:20,709
Hello.

81
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:22,149
- Hey.
- Hey, Billy.

82
00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:25,059
Was this fence window always here?

83
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,550
No, son, that's a new fence window.

84
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,160
Anybody else getting dizzy?

85
00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:47,400
Why didn't you call for help?

86
00:03:47,410 --> 00:03:50,239
I tried, but no sound came out.

87
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:51,770
You poor thing.

88
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:53,319
It was very dirty up there.

89
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,849
Is cleaning the garage
your job or Dad's?

90
00:03:55,850 --> 00:03:57,169
Don't you worry about that.

91
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,509
Here, have some tea.

92
00:03:58,510 --> 00:04:00,079
- Chamomile?
- Yes.

93
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,119
One teaspoon of honey?

94
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,190
Yes.

95
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,589
An ice cube to cool it off?

96
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,249
I went with two today.

97
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:06,950
You've been through enough.

98
00:04:11,670 --> 00:04:13,229
I prefer one ice cube.

99
00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:14,760
Drink it.

100
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,120
It's nice when the kids are in bed,

101
00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:22,439
and we can just hang out and relax.

102
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,409
I'm not even gonna respond to that.

103
00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:27,940
I finally got him asleep.

104
00:04:27,950 --> 00:04:29,569
He's still pretty shook up.

105
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:30,749
Maybe having

106
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,719
this mutt next door won't be so bad.

107
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,749
Shelly could end up getting used to it.

108
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:35,949
That's true.

109
00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:37,259
Remember when he got all freaked out

110
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,029
by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt?

111
00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:40,620
Now he eats it no problem.

112
00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:42,360
He still makes me stir it.

113
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,499
Maybe you could start out

114
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,329
with a small pet, and work your way up.

115
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,429
Like a turtle.

116
00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:48,260
He says they carry salmonella.

117
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:49,299
A gerbil?

118
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,130
Apparently, they caused the plague.

119
00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:52,579
What about a bird?

120
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:53,769
Oh, I know that one.

121
00:04:53,770 --> 00:04:55,970
They'll steal his hair to make a nest.

122
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:12,969
Mom!

123
00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:16,440
At least this time, sound came out.

124
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,410
I call that progress.

125
00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:31,250
What's going on?

126
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:32,819
Your dog got into our house.

127
00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:34,180
How the hell did he do that?

128
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:35,969
He pushed in a screen window.

129
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,799
You think he chewed through
the fence again?

130
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,120
All I know is Sheldon's
yelling at the dog,

131
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,739
and Mary's yelling at me.

132
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:43,570
Now I'm looking at
you in your underwear.

133
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:45,659
Damn it, Herschel, what is going on?

134
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:48,269
- Oh, hey, George.
- Hey, Brenda.

135
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:49,909
Bucky got in their house.

136
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:50,919
That's funny.

137
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,889
It might be funny one
day, not right now.

138
00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:55,240
Look, I'm real sorry, George.

139
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,209
I'll keep him tied up,
it won't happen again.

140
00:05:57,210 --> 00:05:58,710
Y'all have a good night.

141
00:05:58,720 --> 00:05:59,880
George!

142
00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:01,869
You are not gonna believe this. Look.

143
00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:04,789
Their dog left a dead
squirrel in our living room.

144
00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:07,069
Well, h-he is part hunting dog.

145
00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:08,659
I think that means he likes you.

146
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,619
I'm not interested
in winning his affection.

147
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,810
I'm interested in keeping dogs
and rodents outside of my home.

148
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:15,049
Well, now, hold on.

149
00:06:15,050 --> 00:06:16,429
How do we know it was Bucky that left

150
00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:17,699
that squirrel in your house?

151
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:19,699
Maybe that squirrel was already there.

152
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:23,239
Why else would a dead
squirrel be in my living room?

153
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,009
I don't know what
kind of house you keep.

154
00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:27,759
My house is immaculate.

155
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,279
- George, tell them.
- Uh...

156
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,890
She does keep a nice house.

157
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,349
Honey, it's a pretty
good chance it was Bucky.

158
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:35,669
- Whose side are you on?
- Yours, always yours.

159
00:06:35,670 --> 00:06:37,490
All right. Everyone's upset, it's late.

160
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,350
Maybe we should drop this for tonight?

161
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,889
That's a good idea. Okay.

162
00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:42,760
You just keep your dog away from my son.

163
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,789
- There you go picking it up again.
- I am sorry,

164
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:46,159
but their dog broke into our home.

165
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,300
Something he probably
learned from your brother.

166
00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:49,539
How dare you.

167
00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:51,979
Okay, I think that's
a good stopping point.

168
00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:53,739
How do we know that your son didn't

169
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:56,939
lure Bucky in to perform weird
science experiments on him?

170
00:06:56,940 --> 00:07:00,270
My son was asleep in his bed,
and you have some nerve...

171
00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,409
Oh, oh, oh! Oh!

172
00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:05,010
Night, George!

173
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:06,110
Night!

174
00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:12,350
I don't understand why that dog

175
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:13,989
is so interested in Sheldon.

176
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:16,559
Maybe Bucky likes the
way Sheldon smells?

177
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,490
Your brother washes
himself three times a day.

178
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,749
He has no smell.

179
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,649
Here we go: animal control.

180
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,980
Oh, no, no.

181
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:25,530
No, you don't want to go
calling animal control.

182
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:27,380
- Why not?
- Because,

183
00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:30,069
you have to live next
door to these people.

184
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:34,209
They called the cops on Georgie
when he played music too loud.

185
00:07:34,210 --> 00:07:37,139
Maybe it was them, maybe it was me.

186
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,419
Anyway, the point is,

187
00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:39,650
you don't can't go throwing

188
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,119
gasoline on the fire.

189
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,419
Well, they started this fire,

190
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,119
and now, they're gonna get burned.

191
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,650
I believe you've had enough coffee.

192
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:49,630
Listen, why don't you
let me talk to Brenda,

193
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,029
and just smooth things out?

194
00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:52,529
Why do you think she'll listen to you?

195
00:07:52,530 --> 00:07:54,999
Because people like me more than you.

196
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,069
People like me.

197
00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:59,299
I didn't say they don't,
they just like me more.

198
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,319
Anyway,

199
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,900
I see her all the time at bowling.

200
00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:03,669
I know how to handle her.

201
00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:04,909
Fine.

202
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:06,450
Thank you.

203
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:13,160
Plenty of people like me.

204
00:08:19,090 --> 00:08:21,219
Hey, Brenda, how's it going?

205
00:08:21,220 --> 00:08:24,729
Your daughter's a pain in my
ass, that's how it's going.

206
00:08:26,730 --> 00:08:28,219
You don't beat around the bush.

207
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:29,929
I've always liked that about you.

208
00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:31,899
Connie, I've had a long night.

209
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:34,499
Unless you're looking to
bowl, I don't want to hear it.

210
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:35,969
Aw, now, come on.

211
00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:38,670
Let me buy you a drink,
and we'll talk about this.

212
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,139
I'm more on your side than you think.

213
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:42,240
Somehow,

214
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:44,609
- I doubt that.
- It's true.

215
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:48,380
Don't you think I realize
that Mary can be a bit...

216
00:08:48,390 --> 00:08:50,049
Of a self-righteous bitch?

217
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:53,140
I was gonna say "challenging,"
but sure, let's go with yours.

218
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:54,640
It's got a nice rhythm.

219
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:58,229
Mmm.

220
00:08:58,230 --> 00:08:59,790
Brenda, this is, by far,

221
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,399
the best bowling alley
margarita in town.

222
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,619
How long

223
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:06,019
you and Herschel been
married? 18, 19 years?

224
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:08,229
19, but it feels like 30.

225
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,969
Well, y'all are a great couple.

226
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:12,109
Eh.

227
00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:13,639
I just wanted to thank you

228
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,379
for being so patient and kind
to my daughter and her family

229
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:17,809
since they moved in.

230
00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:19,610
- It's nothing.
- No,

231
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,159
it needs to be said.

232
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,149
You know, Mary has a tough
job raising those three kids,

233
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:27,589
with one of them being,
you know, somewhat special.

234
00:09:27,590 --> 00:09:29,489
- I can see that.
- Yeah.

235
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:32,990
And having a kind neighbor makes
all the difference in the world.

236
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,259
Well, we try.

237
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:37,499
And I know you know how stressful it is,

238
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,369
seeing as how you have your own child

239
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,400
who is special in his own way.

240
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,109
What's that supposed to mean?

241
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:48,440
Well, I mean, hey, I know
Billy is a terrific little boy,

242
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,550
but I am sure he has
presented you and Herschel

243
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,179
with some challenges.

244
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,549
If there's a weird kid
in the neighborhood,

245
00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:57,039
it's your grandson.

246
00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,559
Now, hang on, I said
"special," not "weird."

247
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,759
I heard you.

248
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,089
I said "weird."

249
00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,749
Okay, see now, Brenda,

250
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,899
you don't want to go
calling my grandson weird

251
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:09,499
when I've just treated you
to a margarita grande.

252
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,869
Well, I'm sorry, but you
shouldn't be inferring

253
00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:13,899
there's something wrong with my Billy.

254
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,000
Darlin', there's no inferring.

255
00:10:16,010 --> 00:10:17,939
I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt

256
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,140
eating his own belly button lint.

257
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,689
Really, Mom? This is
how you put out the fire?

258
00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:32,999
Well, at least she got the worst of it.

259
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,419
How you figure that?

260
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:37,190
I ripped a big patch
of hair out of her head.

261
00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:40,090
This will be healed in a week.

262
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:43,060
She will be wearing
a hat till Labor Day.

263
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:46,299
I want to be just like
you when I grow up.

264
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,000
- No, you don't.
- Pick again.

265
00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:00,469
Excuse me, Ms. Hutchins?

266
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,630
Hey, Sheldon.

267
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,519
Can you recommend any
books on overcoming phobias?

268
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,939
That's in the self-help section.

269
00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:09,770
Follow me, I have read them all.

270
00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:12,629
- Any phobia in particular?
- Dogs.

271
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,999
Ah, cynophobia. That's a good one.

272
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,409
Did you know there's
over 50 million dogs

273
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,189
just in the United States alone?

274
00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:21,230
That's 50 million too many.

275
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,309
Here. I read this one to
help with my haphephobia.

276
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:28,379
Ah, fear of being touched. I
have that, too. Was it useful?

277
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:31,929
Well, when someone's
interested in touching me,

278
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:33,510
we'll find out.

279
00:11:36,370 --> 00:11:37,679
The basic premise

280
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,409
of the book was that phobias

281
00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:41,859
were overcome by taking
incremental steps

282
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:44,329
toward confronting the
phobia in question.

283
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:47,499
In my case, that started
with watching a TV show

284
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,099
that was adored by
children around the world,

285
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:53,430
but for me, was the stuff of nightmares.

286
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,069
Scooby-Doo!

287
00:11:56,070 --> 00:11:59,160
The next step was to go face-to-face

288
00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:01,830
with real dogs.

289
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,569
Albeit through a plate-glass window.

290
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:05,970
Okay, that's enough.

291
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:07,219
And finally,

292
00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:10,020
a close encounter of the third kind,

293
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:13,839
physical contact with a
member of the canine species.

294
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,180
Hello, I'd like to speak
with the veterinarian.

295
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:19,569
Well, I was hoping you
might have one or two dogs

296
00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:22,570
under anesthesia that
I might come by and pet.

297
00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:24,549
Sure, I'll hold.

298
00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:26,549
Who are you talking to?

299
00:12:26,550 --> 00:12:28,719
The Medford Veterinary Clinic.

300
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,899
Why?

301
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,619
I'm trying to overcome my fear of dogs

302
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,719
before it affects our
family any further.

303
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,159
Oh, honey, you don't have to
worry about how it affects us.

304
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,829
Meemaw got punched in
the face because of me.

305
00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:43,839
No, that wasn't because
of you, and for the record,

306
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,039
your meemaw gets punched
in the face all the time.

307
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,579
Well, I still think I need to take

308
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,269
some sort of positive action.

309
00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:51,360
- Hello?
- Yes, hello?

310
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,079
Oh, that's too bad.

311
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,590
How about a small fluffy one
that's recently died of old age?

312
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,219
Enough.

313
00:12:58,220 --> 00:13:00,920
Sorry.

314
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,449
Now, it says here in Mark 12:31

315
00:13:09,450 --> 00:13:11,469
that you should "Love your neighbor

316
00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:12,989
as yourself."

317
00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:15,959
Anybody like to take a
guess what that means? Missy?

318
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,990
It means to be nice to the
people who live next door.

319
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,129
That's right.

320
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:21,910
But everybody else can go to hell.

321
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,969
Okay, Missy, we don't use
that kind of language here.

322
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,990
And if you think about
it, in this world,

323
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:31,309
with all the ways we can travel,
everybody's your neighbor.

324
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,770
Yes, Sheldon.

325
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:34,339
How do we love our neighbors

326
00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:36,179
when our moms hate each other?

327
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:38,410
- Who does your mom hate?
- Your mom.

328
00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:41,229
Hey, my mom hates your mom. Small world.

329
00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:43,049
Okay, let's hang on a second.

330
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:44,719
My mom also hates their grandma.

331
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,429
'Cause she lost a fight to her.

332
00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:48,859
Nuh-uh, she won. She said so.

333
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,989
All right, stop. Let's stop.

334
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:53,129
Now this might be hard to understand,

335
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:55,169
but living a loving, Christian life

336
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:57,570
isn't always the easiest thing to do.

337
00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:00,169
Yes, Billy.

338
00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:02,870
My mom's not crazy about you either.

339
00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:08,440
Just love your neighbor, 'kay?

340
00:14:08,450 --> 00:14:11,119
Now, I am more than willing
to look the other way

341
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,349
when my parishioners don't
get along with each other.

342
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:16,139
That sort of thing happens,
but when it becomes a problem

343
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:18,809
for the children, then
I have to intervene.

344
00:14:18,810 --> 00:14:20,989
There's no problem here,

345
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,359
other than these two thinking
that they're better than me.

346
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,759
I don't think it, I know it.

347
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,259
I gave your mother a good smacking.

348
00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:27,459
I can give you one, too.

349
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:29,799
That's big talk from
somebody with a comb-over.

350
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,069
Ladies.

351
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,230
Do I need to remind you
that we are Christians?

352
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,279
In all our behavior, in all our actions,

353
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,870
we must constantly ask
ourselves the question,

354
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,839
"What would Jesus do?"

355
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,109
Can I say something?

356
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:43,570
Would Jesus say it?

357
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:45,450
Never mind.

358
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,719
In my life,

359
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,489
I've often been accused of
being a physical coward,

360
00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:55,740
and for the most part, those
accusations are correct.

361
00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:01,599
But there have been times
when I've shown great courage.

362
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,669
This was one of them.

363
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:07,339
Hello, Bucky.

364
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:11,809
Are you a good dog?

365
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:16,720
Please be a good dog.

366
00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:19,029
Please.

367
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:22,080
Now oftentimes, when
we don't like someone,

368
00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:24,419
what's happening is we
see something in them

369
00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:26,119
that we don't like in ourselves.

370
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,589
What are you saying?

371
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,789
Really? That was over your head?

372
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:32,059
I'm saying,

373
00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:34,329
y'all might have more
in common than you think.

374
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,669
Well, don't say both their
kids are "special."

375
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,080
She does not like that.

376
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,839
Okay.

377
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,570
Here we go.

378
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:49,580
Petting... the dog.

379
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,959
I'm doing it.

380
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,569
I'm petting a dog.

381
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,630
I've conquered my phobia.

382
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,239
You're a good boy. Yes, you are.

383
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,340
I'm sorry for the unkind
things I said to you.

384
00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:25,830
Me, too.

385
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,279
Connie?

386
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,049
What?

387
00:16:30,050 --> 00:16:32,150
Anything you'd like to say?

388
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,889
Not particularly.

389
00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:36,589
Mom.

390
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,090
Okay.

391
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,659
I'm sorry for the things I said,

392
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:45,660
and, you know, what happened
at the bowling alley.

393
00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:48,890
As am I.

394
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,139
Here.

395
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:54,290
I think this came out of your head.

396
00:16:58,110 --> 00:17:00,649
He licked me! He licked me!

397
00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:02,349
The dog licked my tongue!

398
00:17:02,350 --> 00:17:04,009
I can still taste it!

399
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:07,450
Call 911!

400
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,670
I think Jesus might go check that out.

401
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,099
How's it going in there, baby?

402
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:20,839
Okay, but we're gonna
need more Listerine.

403
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:27,070
I'm proud of him for trying to
overcome that damn dog phobia.

404
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,820
You should tell him that.

405
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,319
Well, if he ever leaves
that bathroom, I will.

406
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,929
What I can't figure out is why
that dog is so drawn to Sheldon.

407
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:36,419
Beats me.

408
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,850
- You say his owner's in the slammer?
- Yeah.

409
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:40,929
Wonder what kind of fella he is.

410
00:18:04,610 --> 00:18:07,279
It's a mystery.

411
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,140
I guess we'll never know.

412
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,919
Hey, Moonpie.

413
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,479
I got you a little something to help you

414
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,829
get over your fear of animals.

415
00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:23,799
A tranquilizer gun?

416
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,710
A pet fish.

417
00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:30,350
_

418
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,759
Why?

419
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,149
Well, I thought you could start
small and then work your way up.

420
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:38,029
Look, he's kind of cute.

421
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:42,849
He doesn't even care
that I'm here. I like him.

422
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:44,950
What are you gonna name him?

423
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,469
Fish.

424
00:18:46,470 --> 00:18:47,709
Fish?

425
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,760
I'm not ready to get attached.

426
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,270
Fish are kind of boring.

427
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,279
I know, isn't it great?

428
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,979
But you can't even pet 'em.

429
00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:59,989
Maybe we can.

430
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,650
Baby, what's wrong?

431
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:06,479
I tried to pet Fish!
Ah, he was so slimy!

432
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,629
Well, yeah, he's a fish.

433
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:12,129
I put my finger in the top of
the tank, then I touched him,

434
00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:13,260
and he bit me!

435
00:19:13,270 --> 00:19:15,069
Oh, I'm sure he didn't bite you.

436
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,199
I can't breathe.

437
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,939
His fish blood is mixing
with my human blood.

438
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,530
Maybe he was just trying
to give you a kiss.

439
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:25,139
No. He hates me. I never
want to see him again.

440
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:26,789
Oh, Sheldon, you're being silly.

441
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,620
Fish like this don't bite.

442
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,300
Look. See? He's harmless.

443
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:34,089
Son of a bitch!

444
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,700
Dad killed my fish!

445
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:36,770
George!

446
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:38,589
He'll be fine.

447
00:19:38,590 --> 00:19:40,890
Just got to put him back in the bowl.

448
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,200
Oh, George.

449
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,320
_

450
00:19:57,950 --> 00:20:03,040
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