1 00:00:14,261 --> 00:00:16,252 - Are you nervous? - I'm very nervous. 2 00:00:16,330 --> 00:00:17,456 I was saying earlier... 3 00:00:17,531 --> 00:00:20,659 This is my first time l'll sit, and on the screen of a movie... 4 00:00:20,734 --> 00:00:23,498 my name is the only name up, as sole writing credits. 5 00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:26,266 - That is exciting. - It's the first time with an audience. 6 00:00:26,340 --> 00:00:28,706 The first screening for... And all my friends. 7 00:00:28,775 --> 00:00:30,242 And the industry people as well. 8 00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:31,299 - Hey. - Hello. 9 00:00:31,378 --> 00:00:32,399 Hi, Cliff. 10 00:00:32,446 --> 00:00:34,243 I'm glad you could join us. 11 00:00:35,849 --> 00:00:37,407 Sorry l'm late. 12 00:00:37,784 --> 00:00:39,513 I just couldn't pick out an outfit. 13 00:00:39,586 --> 00:00:41,349 Just stop it. 14 00:00:41,421 --> 00:00:43,480 It's actually the truth. I'm not even joking. 15 00:00:43,557 --> 00:00:45,218 - I drove by the theater. - And? 16 00:00:45,292 --> 00:00:46,384 I saw the marquee. 17 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:48,155 - And how does it look? - It looks great. 18 00:00:48,228 --> 00:00:51,026 The numbers... 30 Below. Instead of spelling that out? 19 00:00:51,098 --> 00:00:52,827 I'm gonna get a picture of that, too. 20 00:00:52,899 --> 00:00:54,457 Yes, you have to get a picture. 21 00:00:54,534 --> 00:00:56,729 - This is a big night. Yeah! - It is. 22 00:00:56,803 --> 00:00:58,327 Very excited. 23 00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:01,670 Where did you come up with the idea? Shelley told me something about... 24 00:01:01,742 --> 00:01:04,108 - Cliff Cobb, table of four? - Great. 25 00:01:04,177 --> 00:01:06,975 You know, I understand what it's like... Thank you. 26 00:01:07,047 --> 00:01:09,811 ...to do something that you put your heart and soul into. 27 00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:13,317 The whole process is different if you're just a writer for hire... 28 00:01:13,387 --> 00:01:15,321 Hey, how's Cheryl's present coming? 29 00:01:15,389 --> 00:01:16,549 It's just beautiful. 30 00:01:16,623 --> 00:01:19,922 One of the most beautiful bracelets l've made, I have to say. 31 00:01:19,993 --> 00:01:22,018 Her birthday's on Friday, so l... 32 00:01:22,095 --> 00:01:24,154 - You'll have it before then. - By Thursday? 33 00:01:24,231 --> 00:01:26,699 - No problem. - Great. Thanks so much. 34 00:01:28,268 --> 00:01:30,293 I can't believe you've been... 35 00:01:30,370 --> 00:01:32,600 l have been trying to get to the Amazon for... 36 00:01:32,672 --> 00:01:35,266 You've got to go. If you've been feeling that way... 37 00:01:35,342 --> 00:01:39,403 Particularly west of the river, north a little, it's unbelievable. 38 00:01:39,479 --> 00:01:41,106 And is it just a bunch of people? 39 00:01:41,181 --> 00:01:44,776 Yeah, it's you and guides, in a group. It's a large group. 40 00:01:44,851 --> 00:01:45,977 You just go to... 41 00:01:46,052 --> 00:01:48,179 l think it depends which company you go through. 42 00:01:48,255 --> 00:01:51,190 They'll put together different groups to go out there and do it. 43 00:01:51,258 --> 00:01:53,726 - Are there tons of snakes? - There's tons of everything. 44 00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:56,319 But that's why you go, right? You're gonna see it and... 45 00:01:56,396 --> 00:01:58,057 Forgot my napkin. 46 00:01:58,698 --> 00:02:00,723 You know, it's etiquette. 47 00:02:00,934 --> 00:02:04,131 Very important. Must put the napkin on. 48 00:02:04,404 --> 00:02:08,397 It seems silly to put a napkin on an old pair of pants. 49 00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:10,375 ...unless it's some kind of huge emergency. 50 00:02:10,444 --> 00:02:12,605 - Are we ready? - Yes, please. 51 00:02:12,679 --> 00:02:15,876 Okay, I think l'll have the grilled salmon. 52 00:02:15,949 --> 00:02:17,007 Grilled salmon, all right. 53 00:02:17,083 --> 00:02:18,710 - Yeah, me, too, actually. Same. - Okay. 54 00:02:18,785 --> 00:02:21,652 - I'll have the paella. - Good choice. 55 00:02:22,656 --> 00:02:27,150 I think l'm just gonna get a Cobb salad. 56 00:02:27,394 --> 00:02:28,622 Okay. Cobb salad. 57 00:02:28,695 --> 00:02:32,529 And I want to make just a couple of substitutions if that's okay? 58 00:02:32,599 --> 00:02:34,089 - Sure. - Okay. 59 00:02:35,202 --> 00:02:38,694 - I'll get no bacon. - No bacon. 60 00:02:38,905 --> 00:02:41,703 No eggs. 61 00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:45,138 Take it easy. 62 00:02:45,412 --> 00:02:47,346 Blue cheese on the side. 63 00:02:47,447 --> 00:02:50,712 - You sure want a Cobb salad? - You should get something else. 64 00:02:50,784 --> 00:02:53,252 I'm getting a David salad. 65 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,412 Yeah, it is a David salad. 66 00:02:54,488 --> 00:02:56,922 And l'll get agitation, if you can. 67 00:02:57,357 --> 00:03:00,349 And if the chef can't do this, if he makes a face at all... 68 00:03:00,427 --> 00:03:03,089 - just come back and let me know. - Okay. 69 00:03:03,697 --> 00:03:06,359 - Okay, thank you. - Thank you very much. 70 00:03:07,501 --> 00:03:10,868 Do you go through that every time you order that salad? 71 00:03:10,971 --> 00:03:13,667 Sounds like you're having a problem with that of some kind. 72 00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:18,268 - Is it a big deal? What's the big deal? - It is. It's my grandfather's salad. 73 00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:21,376 - And yeah, it is a big deal. - So... 74 00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:23,416 lt was your grandfather's salad! 75 00:03:23,483 --> 00:03:26,611 - My grandfather created the Cobb salad. - Is that true? 76 00:03:26,686 --> 00:03:28,278 I'm the "Cobb" of Cobb salad. 77 00:03:28,355 --> 00:03:30,516 - He's told this many times. - Oh, my God! 78 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:33,024 - It's true. - This is a nice little bullshit story. 79 00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:35,493 No, I am not lying about this. 80 00:03:35,562 --> 00:03:37,689 My grandfather was a chef. He worked all over... 81 00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:39,994 and there was a time he was at the Drake Hotel... 82 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:44,526 working in Chicago and he would experiment with different combinations. 83 00:03:44,604 --> 00:03:46,435 And the word got out. 84 00:03:46,606 --> 00:03:48,836 That's how the Cobb salad was born. 85 00:03:48,909 --> 00:03:51,469 What? Why is that so hard to believe? 86 00:03:51,545 --> 00:03:53,570 It's just so unbelievable. 87 00:03:53,647 --> 00:03:56,172 It's just, so many people do what you just did... 88 00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:57,443 and I just don't understand. 89 00:03:57,517 --> 00:04:01,044 I can tell you this, l'm not gonna do it again if you're at the table. 90 00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:04,284 No, I apologize. I'm jumpy tonight. 91 00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:06,020 The movie, it's... 92 00:04:06,092 --> 00:04:10,153 l was thinking, "What does he give a shit about what l'm ordering in my salad?" 93 00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:13,058 Let's... What were we saying? We were talking about what? 94 00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:15,226 I want to get out in the rough. 95 00:04:15,302 --> 00:04:16,792 Right. Amazon. 96 00:04:16,870 --> 00:04:20,431 Did I tell you that I have a very good friend that went to South Africa? 97 00:04:20,507 --> 00:04:22,566 South Africa. Beautiful. I've been there, too. 98 00:04:22,642 --> 00:04:23,939 He went for a hunting trip. 99 00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:27,309 You know, my grandfather's name was Harold Bingo. 100 00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:29,610 He invented Bingo. Are you aware of that? 101 00:04:29,683 --> 00:04:32,584 Do you move your camp or is it a base camp? 102 00:04:32,652 --> 00:04:33,983 I'm not kidding. 103 00:04:34,054 --> 00:04:35,248 They don't even... 104 00:04:35,322 --> 00:04:37,722 We can talk about anything, they don't have any idea. 105 00:04:37,791 --> 00:04:39,486 Get their own table. 106 00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:40,821 Doesn't make a difference. 107 00:04:40,894 --> 00:04:44,091 They'll take you out there and get you so close to these animals... 108 00:04:44,164 --> 00:04:47,565 - We should have sex sometime. - Yes, we should. 109 00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:49,095 Really? 110 00:04:49,402 --> 00:04:52,166 ...when you're right there and looking at it... 111 00:05:02,082 --> 00:05:03,879 Larry, how you doing? 112 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:06,145 Donald, good to see you. 113 00:05:06,219 --> 00:05:08,710 - What's new? - Well, not too much. 114 00:05:08,989 --> 00:05:10,820 - How about you? - Playing a lot of golf. 115 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,380 - Really? - Yeah. 116 00:05:12,559 --> 00:05:14,993 You know, we should play it sometime. 117 00:05:15,962 --> 00:05:17,657 I don't play golf. 118 00:05:18,331 --> 00:05:21,164 - Since when? - I haven't played in a long time. 119 00:05:21,234 --> 00:05:22,826 - You don't play golf anymore? - No. 120 00:05:22,902 --> 00:05:24,460 Larry, come on. 121 00:05:24,604 --> 00:05:26,936 Listen, if you change your mind, let me know, okay? 122 00:05:27,007 --> 00:05:28,474 - Good to see you. - Okay. 123 00:05:28,541 --> 00:05:31,135 So glad you could make it to see it. Go get a seat. 124 00:05:31,211 --> 00:05:33,543 - Listen, l'm gonna check the house. - Okay. 125 00:05:33,613 --> 00:05:34,910 See what's up. 126 00:05:39,919 --> 00:05:42,410 What is that? I don't know that. 127 00:05:42,489 --> 00:05:43,979 - It's Wagner. - Really? 128 00:05:44,057 --> 00:05:45,820 It's called Siegfried Idyll... 129 00:05:45,892 --> 00:05:49,623 and he wrote it as a birthday present for his wife Cosima. 130 00:05:49,929 --> 00:05:53,421 She woke up in the morning and she heard this beautiful music... 131 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:57,664 and she came out on the landing and he was conducting this orchestra. 132 00:05:57,771 --> 00:05:59,568 - That is so beautiful. - So romantic. 133 00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:01,129 Yeah, listen to this. 134 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:07,368 That's pretty. 135 00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:11,381 Excuse me. 136 00:06:12,786 --> 00:06:14,310 Are you Jewish? 137 00:06:18,158 --> 00:06:19,716 Are you Jewish? 138 00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:23,527 You wanna check my penis? Is that what you wanna do? 139 00:06:23,596 --> 00:06:26,531 My real question is, what were you whistling? 140 00:06:28,301 --> 00:06:29,996 - Hello, Dolly. - No, it's Wagner. 141 00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,100 - Was it? - Yeah. 142 00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:33,196 You, sir, won $100. 143 00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:35,867 I wanna know what a Jew is whistling Wagner for... 144 00:06:35,942 --> 00:06:37,000 Do you wanna know? 145 00:06:37,010 --> 00:06:39,501 ...when he's one of the great anti-Semites of the world. 146 00:06:39,579 --> 00:06:41,103 - You know what you are? - What am l? 147 00:06:41,181 --> 00:06:43,308 - You're a self-loathing Jew. - Am l? 148 00:06:43,383 --> 00:06:44,543 Yes! 149 00:06:44,617 --> 00:06:47,848 I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish. 150 00:06:47,921 --> 00:06:50,253 No, it doesn't have anything to do with being Jewish. 151 00:06:50,323 --> 00:06:53,759 Those millions of Jews were taken to the concentration camps... 152 00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:56,159 with Wagner being played in the background. 153 00:06:56,229 --> 00:06:58,254 Yes! Hitler's favorite composer! 154 00:06:58,331 --> 00:06:59,380 - Really? - Yes. 155 00:06:59,399 --> 00:07:01,799 They got a mental asylum a couple of blocks away. 156 00:07:01,868 --> 00:07:05,668 I suggest you go and check yourself in. 157 00:07:05,739 --> 00:07:06,865 Where's your Judaism? 158 00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:08,840 Judaism? Where are you? 159 00:07:08,908 --> 00:07:10,808 Where are you, Judaism? 160 00:07:10,877 --> 00:07:13,641 How can you have this attitude? That you're better? 161 00:07:13,713 --> 00:07:17,080 They should put a muzzle on you. You're foaming at the mouth. 162 00:07:17,183 --> 00:07:18,650 Please, thank you. 163 00:07:18,752 --> 00:07:21,778 That's something you need to think about, all right? 164 00:07:21,921 --> 00:07:23,445 - Hi, how are you? - What's going on? 165 00:07:23,523 --> 00:07:25,320 - Everything all right? - No. 166 00:07:25,391 --> 00:07:28,383 - But l'm looking forward to your movie. - I'm so glad you're here. 167 00:07:28,461 --> 00:07:30,486 Get a seat. I'm so glad you're here. 168 00:07:30,563 --> 00:07:32,554 - Is everything all right? - You know that guy? 169 00:07:32,632 --> 00:07:33,963 - That's Walter. - Walter? 170 00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:37,696 Yeah, he lives right by you. Two streets away in your neighborhood. 171 00:07:37,771 --> 00:07:39,636 - That's comforting. - He's really obnoxious. 172 00:07:39,706 --> 00:07:41,765 We should get a seat. Come on. 173 00:08:02,862 --> 00:08:04,659 Can you keep it down? 174 00:08:05,165 --> 00:08:07,497 Hey, l'm allowed to eat popcorn. 175 00:08:26,286 --> 00:08:27,514 Stop it. 176 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,779 I'm tired. I'm sorry. 177 00:08:45,305 --> 00:08:47,432 I just welled up. 178 00:08:47,516 --> 00:08:49,440 Mazel tov. Mazel tov. 179 00:08:49,809 --> 00:08:51,174 Congratulations. 180 00:08:51,744 --> 00:08:54,178 Cliff, oh, my gosh! 181 00:08:54,614 --> 00:08:57,310 - That was wonderful. - Congratulations! 182 00:08:57,383 --> 00:08:58,441 I mean, perfect. 183 00:08:58,518 --> 00:08:59,815 - Great job. - Thank you very much. 184 00:08:59,886 --> 00:09:00,899 Fantastic! 185 00:09:00,954 --> 00:09:04,117 I can't believe that you had that guy dive into that ice-cold water. 186 00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:06,021 - You liked that? - Yeah. I mean, my God! 187 00:09:06,092 --> 00:09:09,550 I know it's freezing 'cause you can see the smoke coming out of his mouth. 188 00:09:09,629 --> 00:09:12,257 Is it smoke? What comes out of your mouth in cold water? 189 00:09:12,332 --> 00:09:13,822 - It's breath. - But looks like smoke. 190 00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:14,950 You really like that? 191 00:09:14,968 --> 00:09:16,902 - I just told you I like it. - Yeah, all right. 192 00:09:16,970 --> 00:09:18,267 - I thought it was good. - Really? 193 00:09:18,338 --> 00:09:19,362 It was good. 194 00:09:19,439 --> 00:09:21,805 We should go out for a drink, you guys. 195 00:09:22,242 --> 00:09:24,403 Larry, probably not, right? 196 00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:27,179 You have a big day tomorrow. He has to get his sleep. 197 00:09:27,247 --> 00:09:29,545 What you got going on tomorrow? 198 00:09:29,649 --> 00:09:33,176 Nothing, l'm just sitting around. I'm not doing anything. 199 00:09:33,653 --> 00:09:36,315 - I don't have a big... - We're tired, too. 200 00:09:36,389 --> 00:09:38,880 Tomorrow, l'm sitting around. I'm not doing anything. 201 00:09:38,958 --> 00:09:40,084 Sitting around? 202 00:09:40,159 --> 00:09:41,524 Listen, thank you for coming. 203 00:09:41,594 --> 00:09:43,459 - Hey, great job again. - Hope you liked it. 204 00:09:43,529 --> 00:09:44,553 Bye. 205 00:09:45,965 --> 00:09:48,559 - I want to see those pictures. - I'll get you the pictures. 206 00:09:48,635 --> 00:09:51,763 And everything was perfect. You should feel so proud. 207 00:09:51,838 --> 00:09:54,398 Are you happy? It was really great. 208 00:09:57,143 --> 00:10:01,546 Yeah, I loved it. Honestly, I did. I thought it was really good. 209 00:10:01,614 --> 00:10:03,605 - Who are you talking to? - Wanda. 210 00:10:04,584 --> 00:10:06,745 No, it was really good. 211 00:10:06,853 --> 00:10:11,222 I loved every minute, and then I look over and Larry's yawning. 212 00:10:11,324 --> 00:10:12,348 What? I... 213 00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:13,949 He invited us to this movie. 214 00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:18,464 I wasn't bored. I was yawning because... Can't somebody be tired and yawn? 215 00:10:18,531 --> 00:10:20,260 I mean it's a biological function. 216 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:24,201 - He invited us to that screening. - Doesn't necessarily mean you're bored. 217 00:10:24,270 --> 00:10:25,862 I thought it was rude. 218 00:10:25,939 --> 00:10:28,169 I thought it was. And, of course... 219 00:10:28,241 --> 00:10:29,367 Really rude. 220 00:10:29,442 --> 00:10:33,401 You know who Cliff is? Cliff Cobb. Yeah, that cute guy in the wheelchair. 221 00:10:33,479 --> 00:10:35,640 So we're in the lobby and we're talking to him... 222 00:10:35,715 --> 00:10:38,980 and everyone's congratulating him and he's having this great night... 223 00:10:39,052 --> 00:10:40,986 and he asks Larry what he's doing tomorrow... 224 00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:44,023 and Larry says that he's just sitting around. 225 00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:47,182 Instead of just telling him he's playing golf... 226 00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,854 He can't say he's playing golf... 227 00:10:49,929 --> 00:10:51,624 he tells him that he's gonna sit around. 228 00:10:51,698 --> 00:10:55,031 'Cause I don't wanna make him feel bad. Why should I say l'm going out? 229 00:10:55,101 --> 00:10:57,365 If I was handicapped, l'd want people to tell me... 230 00:10:57,437 --> 00:10:58,699 that they're sitting around. 231 00:10:58,771 --> 00:11:01,433 "Oh, l'm going out, going golfing, or horseback riding..." 232 00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:03,566 You feel good that you're lying to him? 233 00:11:03,643 --> 00:11:06,806 If I was playing checkers, l'd have told him I was playing checkers. 234 00:11:06,879 --> 00:11:09,712 - He was trying to make Cliff feel good. - That's a good thing. 235 00:11:09,782 --> 00:11:12,478 Why'd you tell the other guy that you're not playing golf? 236 00:11:12,552 --> 00:11:14,986 Because Cliff was right next to me... 237 00:11:15,054 --> 00:11:18,546 so I didn't want Cliff to hear that l'm playing golf. 238 00:11:18,624 --> 00:11:21,559 I don't want to play with that guy anyway to tell you the truth. 239 00:11:21,627 --> 00:11:22,992 I won't play golf with that guy. 240 00:11:23,062 --> 00:11:25,155 He's out of his mind! 241 00:11:26,232 --> 00:11:28,666 I know, he thinks he's doing a really good thing. 242 00:11:31,537 --> 00:11:34,267 Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I gotta go. Bye. 243 00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:35,602 Trick or treat. 244 00:11:36,309 --> 00:11:38,004 Happy Halloween. 245 00:11:38,778 --> 00:11:40,245 Festive? 246 00:11:40,513 --> 00:11:42,913 Hey, very nice, you're going golfing? 247 00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:44,882 Yeah, actually. 248 00:11:44,951 --> 00:11:46,714 - You look very snazzy. - Yeah? 249 00:11:46,786 --> 00:11:48,947 This is a good look on you. I like it. 250 00:11:49,022 --> 00:11:52,856 Thank you. I don't tuck in that much. Golf makes me tuck in. 251 00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:55,723 - You look good tucked in. - I'm rarely tucked in. 252 00:11:55,895 --> 00:11:56,900 Any messages? 253 00:11:56,963 --> 00:12:00,091 Your therapist called. They wanna move your appointment up an hour. 254 00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:02,794 So please call them. And Shelley Cobb called. 255 00:12:04,337 --> 00:12:06,805 Hey, the bracelet might be ready. 256 00:12:07,006 --> 00:12:09,167 - Hey! - Oh, my God. 257 00:12:09,242 --> 00:12:12,040 Cheryl is gonna flip out when she gets this thing. 258 00:12:12,111 --> 00:12:14,170 I wish I could videotape this reaction. 259 00:12:14,247 --> 00:12:16,545 But I don't know how to work a video camera. 260 00:12:16,616 --> 00:12:19,676 I mean, it really took some time to do this thing, too. 261 00:12:21,954 --> 00:12:24,149 - Here's what I want you to do. - Okay. 262 00:12:24,223 --> 00:12:28,284 I want you to go on the lnternet and get some information for me... 263 00:12:29,028 --> 00:12:30,586 on the Cobb salad. 264 00:12:30,663 --> 00:12:33,223 Who invented it, where it comes from... 265 00:12:33,299 --> 00:12:34,789 Okay, l'll get on that right now. 266 00:12:34,867 --> 00:12:38,166 - All right. See what you can find out. - Right away. 267 00:12:39,305 --> 00:12:41,603 Shelley. Hi, it's Larry. 268 00:12:44,077 --> 00:12:45,738 Yeah, a lot of fun. 269 00:12:45,812 --> 00:12:48,337 And again, tell Cliff how much we enjoyed it. 270 00:12:48,414 --> 00:12:51,212 That was really a good piece of work there. 271 00:12:53,019 --> 00:12:55,249 Yeah. Okay. 272 00:12:55,321 --> 00:12:57,915 We should go out. I'll talk to Cheryl. 273 00:13:02,462 --> 00:13:04,225 Just you and me? 274 00:13:08,801 --> 00:13:10,200 Oh, my God. 275 00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:13,764 Shelley, no. That was... 276 00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:17,867 No, that was just a joke because they were talking so much. 277 00:13:17,944 --> 00:13:20,435 It was like a joke for their benefit. 278 00:13:22,381 --> 00:13:24,110 Oh, my God, no. 279 00:13:24,183 --> 00:13:27,277 No. That was just an arm. I was just stretching my arm. 280 00:13:27,353 --> 00:13:29,947 That didn't... Oh, no, Shelley. 281 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:33,784 No, Shelley, of course not! 282 00:13:34,427 --> 00:13:35,655 Shelley, you don't... 283 00:13:35,728 --> 00:13:37,696 But no, that's not true! 284 00:13:38,965 --> 00:13:41,525 But what about the bracelet? Shelley! 285 00:13:48,808 --> 00:13:50,969 Larry? Is everything okay? 286 00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,703 - The salad stuff? - Yeah. 287 00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:59,240 "The Cobb salad was created at the legendary Brown Derby in Hollywood." 288 00:13:59,819 --> 00:14:02,344 The owner, Bob Cobb, was hungry one night. 289 00:14:02,421 --> 00:14:04,582 In the middle of the night, he went downstairs... 290 00:14:04,657 --> 00:14:06,124 and he came up with it. 291 00:14:06,192 --> 00:14:09,161 It wasn't the Drake Hotel in Chicago? 292 00:14:09,228 --> 00:14:11,219 No, it was in Hollywood. You remember that... 293 00:14:11,297 --> 00:14:12,764 Let me see that. 294 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:20,296 - Created at the Brown Derby in Hollywood. - Right. 295 00:14:20,439 --> 00:14:24,102 My friend Cliff Cobb lied to me about the Cobb salad! 296 00:14:25,978 --> 00:14:28,310 His grandfather didn't invent it. 297 00:14:28,447 --> 00:14:30,244 Bob Cobb did! 298 00:14:36,622 --> 00:14:39,147 - Trick or treat! - Look at you. 299 00:14:39,592 --> 00:14:41,059 There you go. 300 00:14:41,594 --> 00:14:42,720 Bye. 301 00:14:45,398 --> 00:14:48,697 Those kids are really cute. You wanna do some? 302 00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:51,398 - You wanna switch? - Yeah, you can do some. 303 00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:52,562 Okay. 304 00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:55,198 Well, let me just do a few more bags. 305 00:14:55,274 --> 00:14:57,003 You keep up the... 306 00:14:57,343 --> 00:14:59,675 You do a few and then we'll switch. 307 00:15:00,613 --> 00:15:02,137 Trick or treat. 308 00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:06,175 - How old are you? - Thirteen. 309 00:15:06,953 --> 00:15:08,545 - Thirteen? - Yeah. 310 00:15:09,455 --> 00:15:12,253 You look more like 16 or maybe even 17. 311 00:15:12,325 --> 00:15:14,657 - No, we're 13. - Can we just have our candy, please? 312 00:15:14,727 --> 00:15:16,251 Where's your costumes? 313 00:15:16,329 --> 00:15:18,194 I'm being my sister. This is my costume. 314 00:15:18,264 --> 00:15:20,391 - I'm a teacher. - You're a teacher. 315 00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:23,230 Wow, I would like to get my seat in your class. 316 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,865 - You got candy? - Hello. 317 00:15:25,938 --> 00:15:27,872 Yeah, I don't think so. 318 00:15:28,074 --> 00:15:29,564 - You kidding? - It's Halloween. 319 00:15:29,642 --> 00:15:33,203 Yeah, I know. Doesn't mean you're entitled to go around to people's homes... 320 00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:34,405 and bilk them out of candy. 321 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,572 - Are you kidding? - Yeah. 322 00:15:35,648 --> 00:15:37,582 Asshole! Fuck you! 323 00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:47,952 Shit. 324 00:15:51,230 --> 00:15:53,027 Can you believe this? 325 00:15:57,637 --> 00:15:59,332 Those girls. 326 00:15:59,405 --> 00:16:02,306 Yeah, why would they do something like that? 327 00:16:02,942 --> 00:16:05,410 Because I didn't give them candy, that's why. 328 00:16:05,478 --> 00:16:08,140 You're standing at the door with a bowl of candy. 329 00:16:08,214 --> 00:16:09,272 Why can't you... 330 00:16:09,348 --> 00:16:12,215 Because I don't think 17-year-old girls with no costume on... 331 00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:14,981 - You shouldn't be allowed... - Who cares? 332 00:16:15,054 --> 00:16:17,181 They were just using Halloween to get candy! 333 00:16:17,256 --> 00:16:20,282 Who cares? It's Halloween, just give them candy. 334 00:16:20,359 --> 00:16:23,192 You just use the holiday for your own selfish purposes? 335 00:16:23,262 --> 00:16:26,720 So what? So you'd rather have them toilet-paper your house? 336 00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:29,165 I didn't know that it was gonna be "felony or treat." 337 00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:31,669 I didn't think the trick extended to felony. 338 00:16:31,737 --> 00:16:34,535 Why would it kill you to just give them a few pieces of candy? 339 00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:35,835 I don't understand that. 340 00:16:35,908 --> 00:16:38,103 Because there's gotta be some kind of cut-offs... 341 00:16:38,177 --> 00:16:41,078 - for Halloween to work. - What is it with you and your cut-offs? 342 00:16:41,147 --> 00:16:44,082 And your "shouldn't there be" and "should there be"? Who cares? 343 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:46,243 Trick-or-treating at 40? 344 00:16:46,319 --> 00:16:50,119 Free candy, l'm 40 years old, l want free candy! 345 00:16:50,189 --> 00:16:52,316 Not everybody knows your rules. 346 00:16:52,391 --> 00:16:55,724 You got a set of rules and you think everyone's gonna adhere to them... 347 00:16:55,795 --> 00:16:57,888 but they're not, because nobody knows them. 348 00:16:57,963 --> 00:17:00,488 You have a long day of cleaning ahead of you. 349 00:17:00,566 --> 00:17:01,965 I'm gonna clean it up by myself? 350 00:17:02,034 --> 00:17:04,832 You're gonna clean this up by yourself. Whose fault is this? 351 00:17:04,904 --> 00:17:06,633 I'm gonna call the police. 352 00:17:10,242 --> 00:17:11,266 So they had no costumes? 353 00:17:11,344 --> 00:17:14,973 Right, they had no costumes, and for some reason, that really upset him. 354 00:17:15,047 --> 00:17:16,639 You sure there were no costumes? 355 00:17:16,716 --> 00:17:19,150 'Cause sometimes they can be very subtle costumes. 356 00:17:19,218 --> 00:17:21,686 No they weren't subtle at all. There were no costumes. 357 00:17:21,754 --> 00:17:24,985 They were just going around from house to house for candy. 358 00:17:25,057 --> 00:17:28,993 Is it possible to find these girls and maybe talk to their parents? 359 00:17:30,029 --> 00:17:33,123 By your descriptions, "dark hair, 20 years old"... 360 00:17:33,199 --> 00:17:36,600 l mean, there's 10,000 kids who could fit that description. 361 00:17:36,669 --> 00:17:39,968 It was sort of Elvira-ish. She looked like Elvira. 362 00:17:40,106 --> 00:17:43,075 So she was kind of in a little bit of costume there. 363 00:17:43,142 --> 00:17:44,370 The Elvira thing. 364 00:17:44,443 --> 00:17:45,808 No, that wasn't a costume. 365 00:17:45,878 --> 00:17:48,210 I'm just using Elvira to describe her. That's all. 366 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,111 It's just a way to... lt's a shorthand. 367 00:17:50,182 --> 00:17:52,650 They knocked on the door, they said, "Trick or treat"? 368 00:17:52,718 --> 00:17:54,481 - Yeah. - And you had treats. 369 00:17:54,553 --> 00:17:55,600 Yes. 370 00:17:55,621 --> 00:17:57,054 I was giving out candy all night. 371 00:17:57,123 --> 00:18:00,115 But I don't have to give them candy, they don't deserve candy... 372 00:18:00,192 --> 00:18:02,092 and I don't deserve this. "Bald asshole"? 373 00:18:02,161 --> 00:18:04,288 That's a hate crime. We're a set, we're a group. 374 00:18:04,363 --> 00:18:06,422 You can't call us bald assholes. 375 00:18:06,499 --> 00:18:09,093 What if I were gay? Would that be "gay asshole"? 376 00:18:09,168 --> 00:18:10,533 That's a hate crime. 377 00:18:10,603 --> 00:18:12,696 But it says "bald asshole." 378 00:18:13,239 --> 00:18:16,902 But we consider ourselves a group of people. 379 00:18:16,976 --> 00:18:18,739 Sir, l'm bald, l'm not offended. 380 00:18:18,811 --> 00:18:21,746 With all due respect, Officer Byrd, you are not bald. 381 00:18:21,814 --> 00:18:23,748 You have chosen to shave your hair. 382 00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:26,182 That's a look you're cultivating to be fashionable... 383 00:18:26,252 --> 00:18:30,313 and we don't consider you part of the bald community. With all due respect. 384 00:18:31,323 --> 00:18:34,952 Did they threaten you in any way? Did you see weapons of any kind? 385 00:18:35,027 --> 00:18:38,087 No, there was no threat, except for the "trick" threat. 386 00:18:38,164 --> 00:18:41,133 - What's the trick threat? - The trick or treat. 387 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,134 "No treat? Trick." 388 00:18:43,436 --> 00:18:45,870 It's a threat. How far can you take these tricks? 389 00:18:45,938 --> 00:18:48,532 - If it was any other night... - Trick or treat, bang-bang! 390 00:18:48,607 --> 00:18:52,509 But it's trick or treat. We cut the kids a little slack on Halloween. 391 00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:56,344 It's kind of a social contract you enter when you open that door. 392 00:18:56,415 --> 00:19:00,442 They say, "Trick or treat," l would advise you, give the treat. 393 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:04,189 Why don't you give them the candy next time, Larry? 394 00:19:04,723 --> 00:19:08,250 I will not be intimidated. Even on Halloween. 395 00:19:24,276 --> 00:19:25,971 Are you playing golf? 396 00:19:26,345 --> 00:19:28,438 Today? No, I played yesterday. 397 00:19:28,514 --> 00:19:30,914 What are you doing dressed like that? 398 00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:34,280 I like the outfit. I like the way it looks. 399 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,613 Yeah, but it's a golf outfit. It's sort of... 400 00:19:36,689 --> 00:19:39,783 Doesn't have to be just golf. You can't walk around? It's a shirt. 401 00:19:39,859 --> 00:19:42,225 - It looks good on you. - That's what people tell me. 402 00:19:42,294 --> 00:19:44,159 - So maybe... - People are right. 403 00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:45,959 Wanna play tomorrow? 404 00:19:46,332 --> 00:19:50,291 I actually can't. It's Cheryl's birthday. 405 00:19:50,903 --> 00:19:52,097 So... 406 00:19:52,338 --> 00:19:53,737 And why can't you? 407 00:19:53,806 --> 00:19:56,866 Don't I have to spend her birthday with her or something? 408 00:19:56,942 --> 00:19:59,502 Early in the morning, what does it matter? Is she a baby? 409 00:19:59,578 --> 00:20:01,910 How old is she, 5 or 6 years old? 410 00:20:03,716 --> 00:20:06,184 - Maybe you're right. - You're taking her out for dinner. 411 00:20:06,252 --> 00:20:08,550 Yeah, I don't have to chained to her the whole day. 412 00:20:08,621 --> 00:20:11,055 - Why can't we play golf? - I'll come by in the morning. 413 00:20:11,123 --> 00:20:12,715 I haven't seen the house yet, anyhow. 414 00:20:12,791 --> 00:20:14,759 Great. We'll play. You're on for tomorrow. 415 00:20:14,827 --> 00:20:17,057 - Not a religious holiday... - No. 416 00:20:18,564 --> 00:20:21,260 Let's talk about the Jason Alexander thing. 417 00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:22,561 What's going on? 418 00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:25,695 I'm done with it. It's over. 419 00:20:25,938 --> 00:20:28,805 He didn't wanna drive to your office and the whole thing's off? 420 00:20:28,874 --> 00:20:31,707 I went to his office twice, he never came to mine. 421 00:20:31,777 --> 00:20:35,713 This is just... Excuse my language, this is completely fucked. 422 00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:38,848 It's too bad. It was a great idea. 423 00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:44,589 I heard that Julia is looking for a project. 424 00:20:45,157 --> 00:20:49,059 And if you ask me, you can do the exact same project with her. 425 00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:53,220 Actually... 426 00:20:55,901 --> 00:20:57,801 it could really work with her. 427 00:20:58,103 --> 00:21:00,663 She does have the exact same problem with Elaine. 428 00:21:00,739 --> 00:21:03,731 People always see her as Elaine. They just want her to do Elaine. 429 00:21:03,809 --> 00:21:06,004 All I got to do... lt's the same thing. 430 00:21:06,078 --> 00:21:08,774 And I know she's been looking for a show. 431 00:21:10,549 --> 00:21:12,779 - I'm gonna call Julia. - Great. 432 00:21:19,158 --> 00:21:22,559 Larry. Gotta quit meeting like this. 433 00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:27,089 So, can I ask you something? 434 00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:30,727 - How's the golf? - I didn't play golf, Donald. 435 00:21:30,803 --> 00:21:32,737 "I don't play golf." Look at that shirt. 436 00:21:32,805 --> 00:21:34,705 I'm just wearing a shirt. I like this shirt. 437 00:21:34,773 --> 00:21:37,435 Nobody wears a shirt like that unless they're gonna golf. 438 00:21:37,509 --> 00:21:40,637 I like this shirt. I get a lot of compliments on this outfit. 439 00:21:40,713 --> 00:21:43,079 Fine, if that's the way it's gonna be, so be it. 440 00:21:43,148 --> 00:21:45,878 No, it's not the way it's gonna be. I like the clothes. 441 00:21:45,951 --> 00:21:48,249 You don't have to just wear them on the golf course. 442 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,378 You're sick. 443 00:21:49,455 --> 00:21:51,446 You can wear clothes, these clothes don't... 444 00:21:51,523 --> 00:21:52,581 Stop it. 445 00:22:05,137 --> 00:22:06,365 Shelley? 446 00:22:25,524 --> 00:22:27,185 Shelley's not here. 447 00:22:27,926 --> 00:22:30,258 - Hey, Cliff. - What are you doing? 448 00:22:30,629 --> 00:22:34,121 I need the bracelet that she made for me. 449 00:22:34,466 --> 00:22:36,730 Yeah, the bracelet. 450 00:22:36,969 --> 00:22:38,960 Yeah, it's my wife's birthday tomorrow. So... 451 00:22:39,038 --> 00:22:40,596 Yeah, yeah, your wife's birthday. 452 00:22:40,673 --> 00:22:42,538 Forget the bracelet, Larry. 453 00:22:42,608 --> 00:22:46,169 There isn't gonna be any bracelet. No bracelet, I know what's going on. 454 00:22:46,245 --> 00:22:48,543 - You know what's going on. - I know what's going on. 455 00:22:48,614 --> 00:22:50,172 You think I don't have eyes? 456 00:22:50,249 --> 00:22:53,343 I'm not blind. Get it straight, all right? My eyes work. 457 00:22:53,419 --> 00:22:56,877 - What the hell are you talking about? - What am I talking about? 458 00:22:57,222 --> 00:22:59,986 I'm talking about the little knee game with Shelley. 459 00:23:00,059 --> 00:23:02,755 I'm talking about the arm over the neck. You're busted. 460 00:23:02,828 --> 00:23:04,056 Oh, yeah, l'm busted. 461 00:23:04,129 --> 00:23:07,064 She told me in the restaurant, you propositioned her. 462 00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:09,327 I was joking around at the table, okay? 463 00:23:09,401 --> 00:23:11,665 And she probably took me seriously. 464 00:23:11,737 --> 00:23:14,228 She did take it seriously, l'm taking it seriously, too. 465 00:23:14,306 --> 00:23:16,706 I was joking around 'cause you guys were talking... 466 00:23:16,775 --> 00:23:18,936 and I wanted to see if you were paying attention. 467 00:23:19,011 --> 00:23:20,376 You didn't even hear me say that. 468 00:23:20,446 --> 00:23:24,041 So that's how friends joke around. One friend jokes with the other friend. 469 00:23:24,116 --> 00:23:27,643 "Let me ask his wife to screw me." That's how you joke around? 470 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,688 Wait a second. What the hell are you wearing? 471 00:23:29,755 --> 00:23:31,620 - What? - Those are golf clothes. 472 00:23:31,690 --> 00:23:34,181 - I didn't golf today. - You said you weren't golfing. 473 00:23:34,259 --> 00:23:37,194 - Why are you wearing those clothes? - I like the way they look. 474 00:23:37,262 --> 00:23:39,321 You expect me to believe that? 475 00:23:39,398 --> 00:23:41,263 Yeah, they look good. People compliment me. 476 00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:43,301 - They don't look good! - I'm tucking in now! 477 00:23:43,368 --> 00:23:45,632 I can see. You're a liar, man! 478 00:23:45,704 --> 00:23:48,605 - I'm a liar? - You're a two-faced, backstabbing liar. 479 00:23:48,674 --> 00:23:50,403 I'm just realizing this now. 480 00:23:50,476 --> 00:23:53,502 - It's all coming crystal clear now? - Yeah. 481 00:23:53,579 --> 00:23:57,811 I'm the guy who goes around telling people... 482 00:23:57,883 --> 00:24:01,876 that "my grandfather invented the Cobb salad"! 483 00:24:01,954 --> 00:24:03,683 - That's true. - That's me who does that? 484 00:24:03,756 --> 00:24:04,780 That's true. 485 00:24:04,857 --> 00:24:09,055 The Cobb salad, my friend, was invented in 1937... 486 00:24:09,128 --> 00:24:12,996 by Bob Cobb at the Brown Derby! 487 00:24:13,065 --> 00:24:15,898 That son of a bitch stole that salad from my grandfather. 488 00:24:15,968 --> 00:24:18,664 - Bullshit! - And you call my grandfather a liar? 489 00:24:20,506 --> 00:24:22,633 You're dead, you son of a bitch! 490 00:24:24,176 --> 00:24:26,235 It was invented in 1937... 491 00:24:26,311 --> 00:24:29,109 by Bob Cobb in the Brown Derby Restaurant. 492 00:24:29,248 --> 00:24:32,240 What's he gonna say? I had him dead to rights. 493 00:24:36,088 --> 00:24:38,488 Oh, my God. I gotta call you back. 494 00:24:41,093 --> 00:24:42,321 Hey, Elvira. 495 00:24:42,394 --> 00:24:45,989 Some fucking weirdo is trying to talk to me. I'll call you back. 496 00:24:46,064 --> 00:24:48,089 - Hey, Elvira! - What the fuck do you want? 497 00:24:48,167 --> 00:24:51,432 "What the fuck"? That's some language for a 13-year-old girl. 498 00:24:51,503 --> 00:24:54,597 - Impressive? - Very impressive. Yes. 499 00:24:55,107 --> 00:24:56,734 Did you have a good time last night? 500 00:24:56,809 --> 00:24:58,936 Yeah? I'd like to talk to your parents. 501 00:24:59,011 --> 00:25:00,501 - They're not home. - They're not home? 502 00:25:00,579 --> 00:25:03,309 No, they're not. Can I help you with anything? 503 00:25:03,382 --> 00:25:05,907 I suspect they are. Or you wouldn't be out here smoking. 504 00:25:05,984 --> 00:25:08,145 - No, I have respect for the household. - Do you? 505 00:25:08,220 --> 00:25:09,619 Yeah, l'll bet you do. 506 00:25:09,688 --> 00:25:11,155 Larry David! 507 00:25:12,558 --> 00:25:14,617 What brings you to our Jewish home? 508 00:25:14,693 --> 00:25:17,958 Well, well, now it all makes perfect sense. 509 00:25:18,030 --> 00:25:20,191 - What makes perfect sense? - This is your daughter. 510 00:25:20,265 --> 00:25:22,165 Yes, this is my daughter. 511 00:25:22,234 --> 00:25:25,795 I think you might be interested in knowing that your daughter, last night... 512 00:25:25,871 --> 00:25:29,204 threw eggs at my house, papered my house with toilet paper... 513 00:25:29,274 --> 00:25:30,673 wrote "bald asshole" on my door. 514 00:25:30,742 --> 00:25:31,766 Bullshit. 515 00:25:31,844 --> 00:25:34,438 Threw eggs at his house and put... 516 00:25:34,513 --> 00:25:36,003 - No, she says no. - He's crazy. 517 00:25:36,081 --> 00:25:38,049 - She's a liar. - She's not a liar. 518 00:25:38,116 --> 00:25:41,210 No, you're a liar. You're a liar as a human being. 519 00:25:41,286 --> 00:25:43,345 - Here we go. - I heard about Cliff and his wife. 520 00:25:43,422 --> 00:25:44,446 Did you? 521 00:25:44,523 --> 00:25:46,718 I heard about you trying to sleep around with her. 522 00:25:46,792 --> 00:25:49,056 A disgrace to your people. That's what you are! 523 00:25:49,127 --> 00:25:50,594 The psycho-meter's back on now. 524 00:25:50,662 --> 00:25:54,325 Postman! Come here! Tell the neighborhood! 525 00:25:54,399 --> 00:25:57,300 What a shanda Larry David is. 526 00:25:57,936 --> 00:26:02,202 Not only are you a lousy Jew, but you're a lousy human being! 527 00:26:02,274 --> 00:26:06,711 He screws the wife of a man in a wheelchair! 528 00:26:06,778 --> 00:26:07,972 A shanda! 529 00:26:08,046 --> 00:26:10,446 Maybe you should have given me some candy! 530 00:26:10,515 --> 00:26:12,278 You're a lousy Jew! 531 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,479 Oh, my God! 532 00:26:44,883 --> 00:26:46,373 Happy birthday. 533 00:26:50,055 --> 00:26:51,215 Larry! 534 00:27:12,177 --> 00:27:14,441 - Get out. I'll... - What's going on? 535 00:27:14,513 --> 00:27:16,378 I'll meet you. Wait outside. 536 00:27:16,448 --> 00:27:17,813 Happy birthday. 537 00:27:18,483 --> 00:27:20,542 I forgot. We were supposed to play golf. 538 00:27:20,619 --> 00:27:22,678 You can't play golf today. 539 00:27:23,956 --> 00:27:26,618 - It's my birthday. - I made a plan with him. 540 00:27:26,925 --> 00:27:29,655 - You need to get rid of him. - Okay, all right. 541 00:27:29,761 --> 00:27:31,820 We're supposed to be on the tee in 10 minutes. 542 00:27:31,897 --> 00:27:34,161 Don't you knock before you come in? 543 00:27:34,232 --> 00:27:36,223 I did knock. I've been knocking for a while. 544 00:27:36,301 --> 00:27:37,393 Okay, quiet. 545 00:27:37,469 --> 00:27:38,527 What's going on? 546 00:27:38,603 --> 00:27:42,403 That woman didn't give me the bracelet, so I had to come up with something. 547 00:27:42,474 --> 00:27:44,999 - I came up with this. - That's nice. 548 00:27:45,978 --> 00:27:47,067 No. 549 00:27:47,646 --> 00:27:48,704 I can't do it. 550 00:27:48,780 --> 00:27:50,008 You know what I went through? 551 00:27:50,082 --> 00:27:53,381 You have any idea what it takes for me to take a day off? 552 00:27:53,452 --> 00:27:55,113 Do you have any idea? 553 00:27:56,855 --> 00:27:58,516 What? Come on! 554 00:27:58,590 --> 00:28:00,615 Maybe I can play nine. Hold on. 555 00:28:00,692 --> 00:28:03,456 - Can I play nine? - No, come on. 556 00:28:03,895 --> 00:28:05,385 I can't do it. 557 00:28:05,897 --> 00:28:07,524 Come on, just go. 558 00:28:12,604 --> 00:28:13,866 How about six?