﻿1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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Billy! Mr. Cooper is here.

3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,571
How you doing?

4
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,098
Do not look under that rock.

5
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,403
But I appreciate you asking.

6
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,144
Hey, you got rejected.

7
00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:18,103
But was it the end of the world?

8
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,257
No.

9
00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:21,541
And that is extremely
valuable information.

10
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:22,977
And honestly...

11
00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:25,197
you dodged a bullet with Missy.

12
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,025
The girl is mean.

13
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,985
Thanks.

14
00:00:34,842 --> 00:00:36,407
[indistinct chatter, clamoring]

15
00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:37,931
WOMAN: Come on, Missy!

16
00:00:37,934 --> 00:00:39,368
- Hey.
- Hey!

17
00:00:39,371 --> 00:00:42,278
Came to see your man be a
leader of little people, huh?

18
00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:44,738
I came to see my granddaughter pitch.

19
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,387
Yeah, under my leadership.

20
00:00:46,390 --> 00:00:48,307
All right, Cooper,
let's see what you got.

21
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,571
Come on, girl!

22
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,964
Come on, shake it off!

23
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,533
You got this.

24
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,711
What the hell was that?

25
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,541
Well, there's some leadership.

26
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,457
DALE: Time!

27
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,806
Cooper!

28
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:10,997
Time!

29
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,082
Cooper, what is the problem?

30
00:01:14,085 --> 00:01:16,074
The ball isn't going
where it's supposed to.

31
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,162
I saw that.

32
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,614
What am I doing wrong?

33
00:01:18,617 --> 00:01:20,575
Just a little case of the yips.

34
00:01:20,578 --> 00:01:22,689
- It happens.
- What's that?

35
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,908
The yips... you know,
it's when you're thinking

36
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,432
about stuff in your head

37
00:01:26,435 --> 00:01:28,390
and something you've
done a million times,

38
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,609
you can't do it anymore.
Even the pros get it.

39
00:01:31,612 --> 00:01:33,265
How do I get rid of it?

40
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,615
Uh, just don't think about it.

41
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,314
Okay.

42
00:01:37,317 --> 00:01:39,580
[sighs]

43
00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:45,195
Don't think, just throw.

44
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,933
[crowd clamoring]

45
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:53,198
I hate the little people.

46
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

47
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,986
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

48
00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:01,317
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

49
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

50
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- <font color="#D81D1D">Synced and corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

51
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[engine sputtering]

52
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:21,226
BRENDA: Damn it!

53
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,531
Brenda?

54
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,765
What?

55
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,491
Everything okay over there?

56
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:27,190
Oh, yeah.

57
00:02:27,906 --> 00:02:29,122
Okay.

58
00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:30,496
[engine sputtering]

59
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,351
Damn it!

60
00:02:32,354 --> 00:02:34,325
Okay, give her a go.

61
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,373
[engine starts]

62
00:02:37,332 --> 00:02:38,942
You're a lifesaver.

63
00:02:39,871 --> 00:02:41,696
It's a gift.

64
00:02:41,699 --> 00:02:44,422
Can I offer you a beer
and some thank-you cobbler?

65
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,406
Weren't you on your way somewhere?

66
00:02:46,409 --> 00:02:47,648
Weight Watchers.

67
00:02:47,651 --> 00:02:49,731
[laughs]

68
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,081
What do you say?

69
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,173
Eh, sure.

70
00:02:54,525 --> 00:02:56,786
Do guys ever go to those
Weight Watchers meetings?

71
00:02:56,789 --> 00:02:59,350
Yeah, but they're all fat.

72
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,929
[laughs]

73
00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:03,789
ADULT SHELDON: Of all the
tests one takes in school,

74
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:06,164
my favorite was the midterm.

75
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:07,688
Finals weren't bad,

76
00:03:07,691 --> 00:03:09,903
but they also meant
summer was approaching.

77
00:03:09,906 --> 00:03:12,581
I don't believe in
religion, but sunshine,

78
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,046
picnics and pool parties

79
00:03:14,049 --> 00:03:15,787
are proof hell exists.

80
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:17,618
[nearby thud]

81
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[door thuds]

82
00:03:26,050 --> 00:03:27,397
Aah!

83
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,944
Why are you trying to hit me?

84
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,875
I'm trying to hit the target.

85
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,166
It's over there.

86
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,109
I know, dingus.

87
00:03:36,546 --> 00:03:38,285
I thought you were good at this.

88
00:03:38,288 --> 00:03:39,347
I was.

89
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,915
Coach Dale says I have the yips.

90
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,699
It's not contagious, is it?

91
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,875
No, it happens in sports.

92
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:48,313
Suddenly you can't do a
thing that used to be easy.

93
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,097
It doesn't sound real.

94
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,757
Then why can't I pitch anymore?

95
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,757
Ooh, perhaps it's the onset of puberty

96
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,022
and the hysterical mood
swings that go with it.

97
00:03:56,025 --> 00:03:57,756
Dingus, house.

98
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,761
You're only proving my point.

99
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,852
What, Billy won an award?

100
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,992
Participation.

101
00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:09,377
Big whoop.

102
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,593
I guess it's something.

103
00:04:10,596 --> 00:04:12,543
Well, he ain't the
sharpest pencil in the box,

104
00:04:12,546 --> 00:04:14,289
but he's the sweetest kid I know.

105
00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:16,818
Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil.

106
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,453
Sometimes I'd just like

107
00:04:18,456 --> 00:04:20,364
to shove his head in that box.

108
00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:22,695
- [chuckles]
- Where's your trash?

109
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,000
Everywhere.

110
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,657
- But the basket's under the sink.
- Mm.

111
00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:30,093
[exhales]

112
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,008
You know your faucet's leaking?

113
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,489
Yep, this whole place is falling apart.

114
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,593
Well...

115
00:04:35,596 --> 00:04:37,750
I'll come over another
time, and take care of it.Oh.

116
00:04:37,753 --> 00:04:39,929
You know, you don't have to do that.

117
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:42,323
One more?

118
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,673
I should get going.

119
00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:46,416
Well, thanks again.

120
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,750
Want to buy a house?

121
00:04:51,753 --> 00:04:53,116
[door opens]

122
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,523
Hey, where you been?

123
00:04:54,526 --> 00:04:56,875
Ah, Brenda was having car trouble.

124
00:04:56,878 --> 00:04:59,051
- Just giving her hand.
- That's nice.

125
00:04:59,054 --> 00:05:01,124
I'm sure it's hard being by herself.

126
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:02,125
Yeah.

127
00:05:02,128 --> 00:05:03,890
That whole house is in need of repair.

128
00:05:03,893 --> 00:05:05,820
I hope you offered to help her out.

129
00:05:05,823 --> 00:05:07,779
I did... she said no.

130
00:05:07,782 --> 00:05:10,132
Well, that's just her being proud.

131
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:12,268
Of course she wants your help.

132
00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:16,046
[stammers] I guess
some time I'll pop over.

133
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,657
Good.

134
00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:19,812
And when you go, hitch up your pants.

135
00:05:19,815 --> 00:05:22,362
There's a lot going on when you squat.

136
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,757
LINKLETTER: All right.

137
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,142
You have 45 minutes to complete

138
00:05:25,145 --> 00:05:27,411
the test, eyes on your own paper and...

139
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:30,415
Yes, Sheldon, if you finish
early, you can take it again.

140
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,807
And...

141
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,113
begin!

142
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,332
ADULT SHELDON: And I was off.

143
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,914
I flew through wave functions.

144
00:05:35,917 --> 00:05:38,160
I dominated harmonic oscillators.

145
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,163
The only challenging part of this exam

146
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:42,601
was trying to balance the
desire to finish quickly

147
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:45,519
with the urge to stop and smell
my freshly sharpened pencil.

148
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,693
Mmm.

149
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,347
I was in the zone.

150
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,087
Only one question left.

151
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,473
All I needed to do

152
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:54,308
was solve Schrodinger's equation

153
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,745
in a cylindrical well
by employing the zeroes

154
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,880
of the Bessel function,
which of course were...

155
00:06:00,477 --> 00:06:02,390
Wait, what are they?

156
00:06:02,393 --> 00:06:04,230
Come on, you know this.

157
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,235
You've done it a million times.

158
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,617
Oh, dear.

159
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:20,116
All right, Sheldon, time
to turn in your test.

160
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,335
I'm not done yet.

161
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,536
[sighs] I know you like to add

162
00:06:23,539 --> 00:06:25,557
your own "better questions" at the end,

163
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,497
but for the last time,
I don't count them.

164
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,996
I just need a few more
minutes on this problem.

165
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,257
That's an easy one.

166
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,086
Just apply the zeroes
of the Bessel function.

167
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,740
I know what I have to do.

168
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,093
Is this is a tantrum?

169
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,168
I've heard children your
age like to throw them.

170
00:06:38,171 --> 00:06:39,919
I can't remember what the zeroes

171
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,747
of the Bessel function are.

172
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:42,922
You didn't memorize them?

173
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,141
Of course I did... October 7, 1988.

174
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,752
I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams.

175
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:49,102
Then what's the problem?

176
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,757
I'm blanking, but I'll get it.

177
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:52,888
Sorry, son, class is over.

178
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,054
No, I can do this.

179
00:06:54,057 --> 00:06:56,325
It's just one question.
You'll still pass.

180
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,822
Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass."

181
00:06:58,825 --> 00:07:00,259
I have an idea.

182
00:07:00,262 --> 00:07:01,653
Let me see the test.

183
00:07:01,656 --> 00:07:03,290
Thank you.

184
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,510
Sheldon Cooper isn't always

185
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,351
- that gullible.
- He was today.

186
00:07:12,137 --> 00:07:15,257
All right, almost there.

187
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,478
Hand me a screwdriver.

188
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,093
Don't stick this in an outlet.

189
00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:21,000
It really tingles.

190
00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:23,657
- We had an incident.
- Yeah.

191
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,734
You know what?

192
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:26,997
Why don't you fix it?

193
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,749
- BOTH: Really?
- Yeah, you see

194
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:29,751
that little screw there?

195
00:07:29,754 --> 00:07:31,672
Just go ahead and tighten her up.

196
00:07:31,675 --> 00:07:33,762
- Like this?
- Yep.

197
00:07:33,765 --> 00:07:35,773
BILLY: What now?

198
00:07:35,776 --> 00:07:37,803
Uh, run outside and
turn the water back on.

199
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:40,348
Here, I'm not allowed to run with this.

200
00:07:40,351 --> 00:07:43,027
We've had a lot of incidents.

201
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,638
- Who knew you were so handy?
- Yeah.

202
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,703
There's just things
guys need to be good at.

203
00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:51,359
What else you good at?

204
00:07:51,362 --> 00:07:53,232
[water sputters]

205
00:07:53,235 --> 00:07:54,888
I should go.

206
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,129
[door closes]

207
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,044
Hey, pretty lady.

208
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,351
- Are you drinking already?
- [laughs] No!

209
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,049
Can't a guy give his wife a compliment?

210
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,703
Do I have to smell your breath?

211
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,313
How about a kiss instead?

212
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:11,706
What is with you?

213
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,229
Well, I don't know.

214
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,362
Kids aren't home.

215
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,882
Now? I'm doing laundry.

216
00:08:17,885 --> 00:08:19,320
Laundry can wait.

217
00:08:19,323 --> 00:08:20,889
So can your thing.

218
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,500
I like to think of it as ourthing,

219
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,590
but if you only have time for
my thing, that's fine, too.

220
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,505
You're being weird.

221
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,289
Weird sexy?

222
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,420
No.

223
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,466
- Headed to the bedroom?
- No!

224
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,688
Just checking.

225
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:36,862
[sighs]

226
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,951
SHELDON: Missy!

227
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,023
You gave me your yips.

228
00:08:41,026 --> 00:08:42,085
What?

229
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,173
I froze on a test. That's
never happened before.

230
00:08:44,176 --> 00:08:45,435
It's all your fault.

231
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,959
I told you it's not contagious.

232
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,264
You put the thought in my head.

233
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,875
The power of suggestion is very real.

234
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,964
Case in point: tulip mania.

235
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,922
- Here we go.
- Tulip mania

236
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,593
was an insane desire to buy and trade

237
00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,230
tulip bulbs in the 1600s.

238
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,014
It nearly ruined the Dutch economy.

239
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,973
You would not believe the
gilders they were spending.

240
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,714
How can you remember
this stupid information,

241
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,411
but not the stuff on your test?

242
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,760
You tell me, they're your yips.

243
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,793
Sheldon, if I knew how to make it stop,

244
00:09:07,796 --> 00:09:08,981
I would tell you.

245
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,678
You better.

246
00:09:10,681 --> 00:09:13,582
Maybe it's puberty
making you all emotional.

247
00:09:13,585 --> 00:09:15,832
I checked my armpits...
Smooth as balloons.

248
00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:17,513
[groans]

249
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,776
- Hey.
- [groans]

250
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,383
What's your problem?

251
00:09:23,386 --> 00:09:24,864
I don't want to talk about it.

252
00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:26,738
- Great.
- I had a mental block

253
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,217
on a test and it was something that

254
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,697
I absolutely know how to do.

255
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:32,004
Oh, you know, that sort of
thing happens in sports, too.

256
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,353
I know. It's called the yips,

257
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,484
and it's a very silly name

258
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:35,964
for a very serious problem.

259
00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:37,793
Well, you know, the best thing to do

260
00:09:37,796 --> 00:09:40,316
is get out of your head.

261
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,448
How do I do that?

262
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,929
Just turn your brain off.

263
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,495
It's like I'm not even your son.

264
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,975
[sighs] Look.

265
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,144
I know you don't respect
what I do as a coach.

266
00:09:49,147 --> 00:09:50,567
Maybe you do know me.

267
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,356
But this is a thing
I actually know about.

268
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,157
I've seen it happen to my players.

269
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,072
I've seen it happen to pros in golf.

270
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,552
In baseball.

271
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,075
The answer is always the same.

272
00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,730
Stop thinking and get
out of your own way.

273
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:06,125
I don't know how to do that.

274
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,954
Have you ever heard the
Nike slogan "Just do it"?

275
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,782
I'm familiar with the
phrase "let's do it,"

276
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,740
uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person

277
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,440
to be executed by
firing squad in America.

278
00:10:16,594 --> 00:10:19,551
Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan.

279
00:10:19,554 --> 00:10:21,585
And it's good advice.

280
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,843
The answer is already in your head.

281
00:10:23,846 --> 00:10:25,579
Don't think so hard.

282
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,148
Just do it.

283
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,801
I'll try.

284
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,921
Good man.

285
00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:34,457
Another fun footwear
slogan is "I'm Buster Brown.

286
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,721
I live in a shoe. That's my dog Tige.

287
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,157
Look for him there, too."

288
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,202
Mm, I think mine is more helpful.

289
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,989
Well, mine rhymes, so...

290
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,340
ADULT SHELDON: I decided
to heed my father's advice.

291
00:10:47,343 --> 00:10:50,024
I wasn't sure how to turn off my brain.

292
00:10:50,027 --> 00:10:52,723
Thankfully, I lived with an expert.

293
00:10:52,726 --> 00:10:54,477
What's up?

294
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,781
I've never really thought
about not thinking before.

295
00:10:56,784 --> 00:10:58,743
Well, I'm asking you to think about it.

296
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,023
But I thought you were
interested in not thinking.

297
00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:02,833
I am. I want you to
think about not thinking,

298
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,183
and then teach me how to do it.

299
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,489
- Do what?
- Not think.

300
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,537
All right.

301
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,626
This is tough.

302
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,765
I'm good at not thinking,
but I don't think

303
00:11:14,768 --> 00:11:16,935
I can teach you how to
not think without thinking.

304
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,117
Hmm, well, thank you for trying.

305
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,851
Hold on! What if you're thinking

306
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,331
about something else instead?

307
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,333
Would that count as
thinking or not thinking?

308
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,466
I suppose it's similar to the mantras

309
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,195
extolled by the sages of the east.

310
00:11:28,198 --> 00:11:30,111
It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda

311
00:11:30,114 --> 00:11:32,384
called Japa Yoga and
it's intended to bring out

312
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:35,129
a single-pointedness of concentration.

313
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,347
Sorry, I zoned out.

314
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,359
- Ooh, tell me how.
- Let's see.

315
00:11:40,362 --> 00:11:41,492
You were blabbering.

316
00:11:41,495 --> 00:11:43,109
It all started to blur together.

317
00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:44,312
And I was gone.

318
00:11:44,315 --> 00:11:46,311
At what point did it start to happen?

319
00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:47,789
I don't know. Say it again.

320
00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:49,053
I said I suppose

321
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,446
it's similar to the mantras

322
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,203
extolled by the sages of the east.

323
00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:55,424
It's a practice that Swami
Vivekananda called Japa Yoga...

324
00:11:55,427 --> 00:11:57,908
♪

325
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,508
That is wild.

326
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,242
ADULT SHELDON: The next day,
armed with the sage advice

327
00:12:15,245 --> 00:12:17,054
of my father, my brother,

328
00:12:17,057 --> 00:12:20,649
and an executed murderer, I
was allowed to retake the test.

329
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,655
You have 45 minutes starting now.

330
00:12:24,539 --> 00:12:26,000
SHELDON: Okay, just do it.

331
00:12:26,003 --> 00:12:27,164
Just do it.

332
00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:29,776
Just turn your brain off and do it.

333
00:12:29,779 --> 00:12:31,648
Is it off? Am I doing it?

334
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,156
Wait, if I'm thinking it's
off, then it must still be on.

335
00:12:34,159 --> 00:12:37,057
I'm trying too hard. Don't
overthink, just do it.

336
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,570
Just do it, just...

337
00:12:39,573 --> 00:12:42,617
Time's up.

338
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:43,837
But I didn't do it.

339
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,125
Waste my morning?

340
00:12:45,128 --> 00:12:46,545
You did it.

341
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,766
That toilet won't stop running.

342
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,429
Have you tried jiggling the handle?

343
00:12:50,432 --> 00:12:51,968
I jiggled it, wiggled it.

344
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,596
Damn near had a baby with it.

345
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,207
[chuckles] Yeah, let me take a look.

346
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:58,645
I was fixing to put some dinner
on, if you care to join me.

347
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,576
I don't want to put you out.

348
00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:02,231
It's just frozen lasagna.

349
00:13:02,234 --> 00:13:04,782
But I'm going oven instead of microwave,

350
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,479
'cause you're company. [chuckles]

351
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,481
What are you doing?

352
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,699
What do you mean?

353
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,965
[scoffs] You know what I mean.

354
00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:16,332
I was just trying to thank you.

355
00:13:16,335 --> 00:13:17,901
And you're the one who offered

356
00:13:17,904 --> 00:13:19,512
to come over here and fix things.

357
00:13:19,515 --> 00:13:20,775
I was being nice.

358
00:13:20,778 --> 00:13:21,864
So was I.

359
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,551
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.

360
00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:25,280
There is no pleasing you.

361
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,512
Well, I don't need this here.

362
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:27,793
I can get fighting at my house.

363
00:13:27,796 --> 00:13:29,894
Then maybe you should
go back to your house.

364
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,684
BILLY: Mom, can you
help with my homework?

365
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:34,942
There in a sec.

366
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,814
You leaving?

367
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,250
You gonna fix the toilet?

368
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,904
- No.
- Then I guess I'm not leaving.

369
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,253
Thank you. Lasagna?

370
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,950
Small piece. Mary's making tacos.

371
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,187
Okay.

372
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,442
ADULT SHELDON: Trying to
outsmart my own thought patterns

373
00:13:46,445 --> 00:13:47,999
proved to be challenging.

374
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:51,306
It's understandable, as smart as I was,

375
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,178
I was also that smart.

376
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,877
I wondered if I could
invent a mind control device,

377
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,336
but that sounded a
little too "mwah-ha-ha"

378
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,489
even for me. It turned out

379
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,318
the device I was looking for

380
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,930
had been in my presence the entire time.

381
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,975
Television. It had been tranquilizing

382
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,551
the minds of America's
youth for generations,

383
00:14:10,554 --> 00:14:12,434
and it was just what I needed.

384
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,981
MAN: Lift off.

385
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,767
Too interesting.

386
00:14:16,906 --> 00:14:18,159
Too violent.

387
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,552
[indistinct TV chatter]

388
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,902
[chuckles] I don't think so.

389
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:25,166
Now, then, let's build
us a little cloud.

390
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:27,093
Clouds are very free.

391
00:14:27,096 --> 00:14:28,695
Very, very free.

392
00:14:28,698 --> 00:14:30,242
Tell you what. If you...

393
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,304
That was so much fun, let's get crazy...

394
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,307
Who's this bohemian?

395
00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:37,028
PETERSON: If you could have

396
00:14:37,031 --> 00:14:39,485
any job in the high
school, what would it be?

397
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,664
[laughs] I don't know, why?

398
00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,884
Sometimes I look at the janitor

399
00:14:43,887 --> 00:14:45,796
pushing around that buffing machine.

400
00:14:45,799 --> 00:14:48,756
That thing looks like a blast.

401
00:14:48,759 --> 00:14:50,193
He doesn't wear a tie.

402
00:14:50,196 --> 00:14:53,154
No fights with the school board.

403
00:14:53,157 --> 00:14:56,595
Vomit and feces aside,
he's, he's living the dream.

404
00:14:58,003 --> 00:15:00,389
Hello? Am I boring you?

405
00:15:00,392 --> 00:15:01,435
Sorry.

406
00:15:01,438 --> 00:15:03,247
I'm a little distracted.

407
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,120
Trouble at home?

408
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,578
- Something like that.
- Mm.

409
00:15:07,581 --> 00:15:08,973
You want to talk about it?

410
00:15:10,331 --> 00:15:12,070
No.

411
00:15:12,073 --> 00:15:14,203
Tell me about your fun bachelor life.

412
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:16,257
Well, as of last week, I officially

413
00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:18,617
tasted every Campbell's soup.

414
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,500
[laughing]: Come on, Tom.

415
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,329
I'm trying to live vicariously here.

416
00:15:22,332 --> 00:15:24,138
There's got to be something good.

417
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,141
Let's see, I go hunting and
fishing whenever I feel like it.

418
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,751
Now we're getting somewhere.

419
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:32,059
- Spend my money on whatever I want.
- Mm.

420
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:33,974
What was the last thing you got?

421
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,484
Foreman fight on pay-per-view.

422
00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:39,843
I ate a bucket of chicken and
watched it in my underwear.

423
00:15:39,846 --> 00:15:41,117
You lucky bastard.

424
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,765
Uh-huh. [chuckles]

425
00:15:42,768 --> 00:15:44,046
What about women?

426
00:15:44,049 --> 00:15:46,625
[sighs] Honestly...

427
00:15:46,628 --> 00:15:49,771
it's tough to meet people at this age.

428
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,914
No, come on, charming fella like you?

429
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,003
[scoffs]

430
00:15:53,006 --> 00:15:54,504
Sadly, this is the best night out

431
00:15:54,507 --> 00:15:56,344
I've had in a long time.

432
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:59,054
Yeah. Me, too.

433
00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:02,176
But if you know anybody,
send them my way.

434
00:16:02,179 --> 00:16:04,355
[country song playing softly]

435
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,097
Yeah, I'll think about.

436
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,890
You ever eat chicken in your underwear?

437
00:16:11,893 --> 00:16:13,144
What do you think?

438
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,968
- Yes.
- Yes.

439
00:16:14,971 --> 00:16:16,842
BOB ROSS: Making a
gorgeous little mountain.

440
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:17,984
Ooh.

441
00:16:17,987 --> 00:16:20,614
Little stand of evergreens
that lives right in here.

442
00:16:20,617 --> 00:16:22,936
I didn't know Richard Simmons can paint.

443
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,351
His name's Bob Ross.

444
00:16:24,354 --> 00:16:26,050
And he's oddly hypnotic.

445
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,443
You're gonna paint?

446
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,203
No, I just like watching him.

447
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:30,703
I can't explain it, but his voice

448
00:16:30,706 --> 00:16:33,554
and demeanor are comforting,
like a hot beverage.

449
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,688
Let's get crazy and, once again,

450
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,125
just pull it out, just
like we did the other one.

451
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,561
Yawn.

452
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,825
Barely touch, whisper.

453
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,827
Just whisper light.

454
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,307
Let it go.

455
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,273
Let it go, no pressure.

456
00:16:48,276 --> 00:16:51,007
ADULT SHELDON: The yips
are a cruel mistress.

457
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,315
But thanks to a magical
man with a halo of curls,

458
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:58,473
I was finally able to relax
and get out of my own head.

459
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:02,323
Instead of freezing up, I
thought about happy integers.

460
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,847
Fluffy little formulas

461
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,067
and a sweet Bessel
function that just wants me

462
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,112
to do my very best.

463
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,187
Done.

464
00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:11,020
Great, I can still
make my doubles match.

465
00:17:11,023 --> 00:17:12,379
Get out.

466
00:17:19,757 --> 00:17:21,384
- [crowd groaning]
- [sighs] Damn it.

467
00:17:21,387 --> 00:17:24,040
- Hold it. Time, time, time.
- UMPIRE: Time!

468
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,867
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

469
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,914
Ah, don't worry about
it. It's not your fault.

470
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,559
- It isn't?
- No, I'm the one

471
00:17:29,562 --> 00:17:32,049
that let a girl pitch. It's my mistake.

472
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,484
What? I've won so many games.

473
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,791
Oh, that was then.

474
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,630
Why are you being so mean?

475
00:17:37,633 --> 00:17:40,373
Well, why are you getting
so emotional, like women do?

476
00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:42,506
Maybe you ought to be a cheerleader.

477
00:17:42,509 --> 00:17:44,379
You trying to make me mad?

478
00:17:44,382 --> 00:17:45,888
- Is it working?
- Yeah.

479
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,107
Well, I tell you what,

480
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,414
picture my face in the catcher's mitt.

481
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,415
What?

482
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,894
Do I have to dumb it down for you?

483
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:54,071
Just do what I tell you.

484
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,552
[sighs]

485
00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:59,208
[spectators calling out]

486
00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:02,427
[grunts]

487
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,385
- Strike!
- Yes!

488
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:07,793
Aw, don't get all
hysterical, little girl!

489
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:09,303
You suck!

490
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,489
You suck!

491
00:18:10,492 --> 00:18:12,872
No! You suck!

492
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:15,004
Strike!

493
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:18,227
I am the leader of the little people.

494
00:18:20,453 --> 00:18:26,203
- <font color="#D81D1D">Synced and corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

