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Previously on This Is Us...
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I'm not gonna do that trial, Randall.
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And I really don't want to hear
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what either of you has to say about it
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because I have made
the decision for myself.
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This could've saved her life.
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Don't you ever wonder
what it would've been like
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if Dad hadn't died?
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No. I don't, Randall. Do you?
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Dad, if you go back in
that house, so help me, God,
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I'll go through that front
door and get you myself!
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Dad, look!
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Every single day.
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I haven't been able to
stop thinking about it
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since I asked my brother,
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what my life would be
like if my dad hadn't died.
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What do you think
would've been different?
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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It's all just...
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gone?
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Yeah.
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You're lucky you weren't there.
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All right.
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Here you go.
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- Thank you.
- Waters all around.
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Hey, uh, you guys need anything else?
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I can heat up some food
for you to eat, or...
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- No, thank you.
- No. Thank you.
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- Mom, Dad.
- Guys...
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- Hey, Kev. Is everyone okay?
- Hi, sweetheart. God...
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- Are you okay?
- Yeah, no, no, no, I'm fine.
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Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm okay.
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- Hi, baby doll.
- Hi, Mom.
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Just some minor burns.
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Hey, the doctor said I'm gonna be fine.
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He said the smoke
inhalation was minimal.
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Yeah, thank God you didn't
go back in the house.
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Well, thank God that fireman
actually got to Louie.
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I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
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- He okay?
- Yeah, I think so.
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Okay.
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Hey, guys, listen to me.
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We're all gonna be fine.
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- Yeah.
- Right? We're here, together.
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That's all that matters.
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This family is the
only thing that matters.
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So, I just got off the
phone with the police.
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They have officially cleared the house.
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I'm gonna go over there
and see what's left,
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see if there's anything salvageable.
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Bec.
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We'll find temporary housing.
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- No, no, no, babe, it's-it's...
- Okay? We...
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It's not about the house.
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I mean, we, we could have died.
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And it just...
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it-it puts things in
perspective, you know?
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Like what?
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Like...
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Things you know you should share,
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but you don't because it's hard.
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And... time goes by.
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And then more time goes
by, and eventually you're...
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I have to tell you something.
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Randall?
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Hey, uh, Miguel took Kate and
Kevin to go buy some essentials.
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I'm looking up that
info you asked about,
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- the fire insurance policy, you know...
- Son, just...
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What's wrong?
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What happened?
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Mom, you're really freaking me out.
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Sweetheart.
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When you were a baby...
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... I met your father.
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Your birth father.
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My...
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My-my what?
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How?
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He, he was hanging around
outside the hospital,
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and I followed him
back to his apartment.
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But, sweetheart, you have to understand,
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he was not well, okay?
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He was an addict and
I, I-I got out of there
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and I never said anything to anyone.
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And then I tried to
go back years later...
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Wait, wait, wait, wait.
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This whole time, you knew who he was?
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You just kept it secret from me?
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- All these years.
- No, no, no, no, no.
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He just found out
five minutes ago, okay?
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What's his name?
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What is his name?!
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William...
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William Hill.
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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- Stop, stop.
- Okay, okay.
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Do you know where he lives?
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Um, I don't know if he
still lives there, but I can,
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- I can show you where he lived years ago.
- No, no, no.
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Just give me the address.
And I can go by myself.
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- No, you won't.
- No. I need to do this, Dad.
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I know. I know.
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I'll go with you.
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- Hey, Dad?
- Yeah?
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This isn't... I...
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This isn't about you.
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Uh, l-like, wanting to meet him. I...
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Yeah, no, I know.
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Yeah, it's okay.
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I think this is it.
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You ready?
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- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
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Can I help you?
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Are you William Hill?
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Last I checked.
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My name is Randall Pearson.
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I think I'm your son.
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Wow. Top of your class.
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That's something.
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Hey, what can I say?
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I work hard.
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Not trying to brag or anything.
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- We're very proud of him.
- Yeah.
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Mm.
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Well, so, uh, do you
play any instruments?
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Oh, well,
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I'm not really the
musical one in the family.
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My sister Kate is.
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She gets it from my mom. My adopted mom.
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Randall.
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Uh, speaking of,
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I was wondering if you
could, uh, tell me more about
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- my biological mom?
- Oh...
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Well...
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Do you know the feeling you get
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when you take a sip of something hot?
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That was Laurel.
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She was a warm drink
straight to your soul.
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She stopped using when she was pregnant,
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but right after you were born...
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Old habits.
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She didn't make it.
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And me, I... I didn't
know the first thing
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about raising a baby on my own.
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You were never not wanted.
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In fact...
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... I wrote these for
you a long time ago.
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I never thought anyone else
would see it besides me.
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Maybe I can go back next week?
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You know, Randall, I
really think you should
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temper your expectations of
this guy, just a little bit.
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What do you mean?
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He was a very nice man.
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But I think, I think
he might still be using.
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- So?
- So I'm really not too comfortable
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with my son spending
time with a guy who's...
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- Come on, Dad.
- ... involved with that.
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Dad, you're an addict, too.
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Please.
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It's been
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a tough time for my family lately.
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From the, uh,
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American Songbook, these
are riffs that I've been...
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It's been a long time since I've spoken
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to a room full of people like this.
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So I've been thinking,
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I'm probably gonna stay home for
college, go to Carnegie Mellon.
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But you got into Howard.
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I thought that was your top choice.
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It was, but...
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I-I thought it'd be nice
to spend more time together.
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Right?
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Right.
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That's cool.
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Hey, sweetheart,
if you did forget anything,
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we'll be happy to drive it over to you.
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You sure you don't want
me to come with you guys
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and help you move in?
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The car's pretty packed,
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so there's only really
room for two of us.
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Okay.
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I'm gonna go say bye to Kevin and Kate.
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Okay.
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Hey. He's just sorting
through everything.
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- Yeah.
- Okay?
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He'll come around.
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- Oh...
- Oh, oh, I-I'm sorry.
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No problem.
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Beth, we are so thrilled
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to have you here tonight.
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This is the first time we've had
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all of our kids home from
college at the same time.
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Oh, thank you for having me over.
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Oh, I-I brought, uh, a little something.
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- Oh, you didn't need to do that. You don't...
- It's just a little gift.
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You don't need to bring
us a g... whoa! Hot sauce?
197
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No, no, give that here.
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Uh, my-my dad loved hot sauce, too.
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Uh, he always brought it with him
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to every house we went as a gift.
201
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But it wasn't actually
a gift, he just wanted
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to make sure he always had hot sauce.
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Randall told us that, um,
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that he passed last year.
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We were very sorry to hear that.
206
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Yeah, I can't imagine going through
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all of that stuff at
your age, sweetheart.
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Yeah, we really shouldn't make her
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talk about it right now, Mom.
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- I'm sorry.
- No, it...
211
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,718
- No, no, no, no, it's-it's fine.
- I'm sorry.
212
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,071
- It's fine.
- Thank you.
213
00:10:54,073 --> 00:10:56,789
- This is, uh, wonderful.
- Yeah.
214
00:10:56,791 --> 00:10:58,623
Sweetheart,
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how do you like your
salad? I added those
216
00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:03,095
little slivered almonds
in there just for you.
217
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:05,397
Don't really like almonds.
218
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,033
What?
219
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,634
Since when?
220
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Never have.
221
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:15,373
Could you show me where the bathroom is?
222
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,041
It's right through the kitchen.
223
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,043
Can you show me?
224
00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:21,540
It's good, Mom.
225
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:22,897
I like the almonds.
226
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:25,323
Was that a "rescue me" head nod
227
00:11:25,325 --> 00:11:27,418
or a "I want to go sneak in
a quick make-out" head nod?
228
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,619
That was a "quit being such
229
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,723
a dick to your mom" head nod.
230
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,337
You need to forgive her.
231
00:11:33,339 --> 00:11:34,892
Beth, you don't know what
you're talking about.
232
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:37,061
- You don't know how I...
- Look, I carry bottles of hot sauce
233
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:40,198
because they remind me of my dead dad.
234
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,868
And you get not one, but two,
235
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living, breathing, really freaking
236
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,332
cool dads, okay?
237
00:11:48,334 --> 00:11:50,741
Li... life is short, Randall.
238
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,075
It's too damn short.
239
00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:57,180
- So Dad hops in to grab Kevin out of the pig pen.
- Uh-huh.
240
00:11:57,182 --> 00:12:00,416
And he's screaming because he's
decided he loves this pig...
241
00:12:00,418 --> 00:12:02,018
She won best in show at the county fair.
242
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It was a big deal when I was five.
243
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,756
So-so me, Kate and my mom
244
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:08,458
are outside the fence, terrified...
245
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,127
We were screaming.
246
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,798
- You remember that, crying?
- Yes.
247
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,096
You remember that?
248
00:12:13,098 --> 00:12:14,420
Yes, how can I forget?
249
00:12:14,422 --> 00:12:15,999
Actually, do you want to tell this part?
250
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,167
You tell it better.
251
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Um...
252
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,076
the, um...
253
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,644
the little pig started
squealing and then
254
00:12:28,646 --> 00:12:31,280
muddy little Kevin over here
255
00:12:31,282 --> 00:12:33,515
started squealing right back.
256
00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:36,051
And then Jack started squealing...
257
00:12:45,263 --> 00:12:48,165
I remember picking
Randall up from school
258
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,666
one day in, uh, sixth grade.
259
00:12:50,668 --> 00:12:54,536
And he was studying the periodic table.
260
00:12:54,538 --> 00:12:57,840
He was so excited to
tell me about Marie Curie
261
00:12:57,842 --> 00:13:00,641
and her husband Pierre...
262
00:13:00,643 --> 00:13:04,512
who had discovered radium and polonium
263
00:13:04,514 --> 00:13:06,681
together.
264
00:13:06,683 --> 00:13:08,049
Kid's 11.
265
00:13:09,619 --> 00:13:11,603
And I-I remember him saying to me,
266
00:13:11,605 --> 00:13:14,718
"Dad, I want to marry someone
267
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,590
I can discover elements with".
268
00:13:16,592 --> 00:13:19,694
Let's raise our glasses.
269
00:13:19,696 --> 00:13:20,995
To Randall and Beth.
270
00:13:20,997 --> 00:13:22,297
To Randall and Beth.
271
00:13:25,635 --> 00:13:28,870
And that is how you got the name Tess.
272
00:13:28,872 --> 00:13:33,040
Because of a ceiling fan of all things.
273
00:13:33,042 --> 00:13:35,943
Pretty perfect first grandkid, huh?
274
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,611
No complaints here.
275
00:13:40,415 --> 00:13:42,049
Mind if I join?
276
00:13:42,051 --> 00:13:44,784
Come on in, Grandpa.
277
00:13:50,292 --> 00:13:52,326
Hey, beautiful.
278
00:13:52,328 --> 00:13:53,660
All right.
279
00:13:53,662 --> 00:13:54,794
Ham's in the oven.
280
00:13:54,796 --> 00:13:56,763
Everyone's arriving at 2:00.
281
00:13:56,765 --> 00:13:59,632
The Pearson Christmas
Feast is right on track.
282
00:13:59,634 --> 00:14:01,201
Fruitcake?
283
00:14:01,203 --> 00:14:03,237
Nah, stomach's a little funny.
284
00:14:03,239 --> 00:14:05,739
Again?
285
00:14:05,741 --> 00:14:07,173
We rarely catch
286
00:14:07,175 --> 00:14:09,409
stomach cancer in its earliest stages.
287
00:14:09,411 --> 00:14:12,111
You are a very lucky man.
288
00:14:12,113 --> 00:14:15,359
Lucky my boy here's a
relentless son of a gun.
289
00:14:15,361 --> 00:14:16,816
Hey, guys, gather round.
290
00:14:16,818 --> 00:14:18,050
Let me get this picture real quick.
291
00:14:18,052 --> 00:14:22,278
Everybody say, "Thanksgiving
hot dogs wrapped in cheese".
292
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,991
Thanksgiving hot dogs wrapped in cheese!
293
00:14:24,993 --> 00:14:26,259
Yeah!
294
00:14:26,261 --> 00:14:27,326
Okay, wait, no.
295
00:14:27,328 --> 00:14:28,661
I want to get one, too.
296
00:14:28,663 --> 00:14:30,997
On my phone...
297
00:14:30,999 --> 00:14:32,965
Where did I put my phone?
298
00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:35,139
No, wait, hold on a
sec. It was just here.
299
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:36,996
- What's wrong, hon?
- Can't find my phone.
300
00:14:36,998 --> 00:14:38,070
I'll help you look for it, Rebecca.
301
00:14:38,072 --> 00:14:40,071
I just had it.
302
00:14:40,073 --> 00:14:42,674
She misplaced her phone again.
303
00:14:48,081 --> 00:14:50,416
I'm sorry to interrupt you,
304
00:14:50,418 --> 00:14:52,984
Randall, but I suspect
305
00:14:52,986 --> 00:14:54,553
that you and your father are about
306
00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,655
to band together to save your mother?
307
00:14:56,657 --> 00:14:59,513
So I'm just trying to keep track here.
308
00:14:59,515 --> 00:15:01,993
In the version of your life
309
00:15:01,995 --> 00:15:03,595
where your father lives,
310
00:15:03,597 --> 00:15:06,624
you immediately find your birth father,
311
00:15:06,626 --> 00:15:08,400
get him clean,
312
00:15:08,402 --> 00:15:10,001
your parents' marriage survives,
313
00:15:10,003 --> 00:15:12,018
you have the same wife and kids,
314
00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:13,704
cure stomach cancer,
315
00:15:13,706 --> 00:15:16,407
and you get your mother
into this clinical trial?
316
00:15:16,409 --> 00:15:19,076
Yeah, that's what I
think would've happened.
317
00:15:20,278 --> 00:15:21,511
Gotcha.
318
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:26,151
Hey, there's, um,
319
00:15:26,153 --> 00:15:28,176
Scrabble and Connect Four
320
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,786
in the cabinet behind you.
321
00:15:29,788 --> 00:15:32,455
You're in that chair
for another half an hour.
322
00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:35,048
We could either play games
or you could be honest.
323
00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:37,083
Your choice.
324
00:15:40,614 --> 00:15:42,738
I don't understand.
325
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:44,891
You asked for my version.
326
00:15:44,893 --> 00:15:46,199
Rose-colored or not,
327
00:15:46,201 --> 00:15:47,803
that's what I gave you.
328
00:15:47,805 --> 00:15:50,929
Randall, when we
started working together,
329
00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:53,606
you asked me to challenge you.
330
00:15:53,608 --> 00:15:55,948
Now let's try this again.
331
00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:59,460
This time tell me what
scares you the most
332
00:15:59,462 --> 00:16:00,913
about what could have happened
333
00:16:00,915 --> 00:16:03,249
if your father survived that night?
334
00:16:24,739 --> 00:16:27,106
Please say something.
335
00:16:29,076 --> 00:16:31,209
What do you want me to say?
336
00:16:34,649 --> 00:16:36,815
That you...
337
00:16:36,817 --> 00:16:39,284
understand why I did it?
338
00:16:39,286 --> 00:16:43,122
You met our son's birth father
339
00:16:43,124 --> 00:16:46,324
and then you lied to me
about it for 17 years.
340
00:16:46,326 --> 00:16:48,961
What am I supposed to
understand about that?
341
00:16:48,963 --> 00:16:52,031
That I was trying to protect him.
342
00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,899
Protect him from what?
343
00:16:53,901 --> 00:16:55,333
William was sick.
344
00:16:55,335 --> 00:16:56,434
He was an addict.
345
00:16:56,436 --> 00:16:57,936
I was, I was worried
346
00:16:57,938 --> 00:16:59,738
he would want to take
Randall away from us.
347
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:01,753
Well, then we could have dealt with that
348
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:04,076
together as a family.
349
00:17:04,078 --> 00:17:06,979
But you made that call on your own.
350
00:17:08,482 --> 00:17:09,981
You...
351
00:17:09,983 --> 00:17:11,884
You were wrong, Bec.
352
00:17:11,886 --> 00:17:13,985
My God, you were so wrong.
353
00:17:13,987 --> 00:17:15,486
I wanted to tell you so many times.
354
00:17:15,488 --> 00:17:16,620
Then why didn't you, huh?
355
00:17:16,622 --> 00:17:18,430
Because I was scared.
356
00:17:18,432 --> 00:17:20,624
And I-I knew that you would want to do
357
00:17:20,626 --> 00:17:21,893
what you thought was right.
358
00:17:21,895 --> 00:17:23,828
And I'm-I'm sorry.
359
00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:25,462
I'm sorry, Jack.
360
00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:26,998
I'm so sorry.
361
00:17:29,335 --> 00:17:31,769
I can't even look at you right now.
362
00:17:31,771 --> 00:17:33,624
The Rebecca that I know?
363
00:17:33,626 --> 00:17:36,382
She isn't capable of
something this cruel.
364
00:17:36,384 --> 00:17:39,436
She is not capable of keeping our son
365
00:17:39,438 --> 00:17:41,746
away from his birth father.
366
00:17:42,949 --> 00:17:44,715
- Oh, my God...
- Stop!
367
00:17:44,717 --> 00:17:46,583
Randall...
368
00:17:46,585 --> 00:17:49,586
I will take care of our son.
369
00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:09,706
Look, if it's bibles you're
selling, I've got several.
370
00:18:09,708 --> 00:18:12,629
William Hill?
371
00:18:12,631 --> 00:18:15,255
I don't love it when people know my name
372
00:18:15,257 --> 00:18:16,846
and I'm not familiar with theirs.
373
00:18:19,150 --> 00:18:21,117
I'm Randall Pearson.
374
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,453
17 years ago, I was
left at a fire station
375
00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:25,321
in Bethel Park.
376
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,740
I'm your son.
377
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:38,601
That's impossible.
378
00:18:38,603 --> 00:18:41,237
My mom says she saw you at the
hospital the day that I was...
379
00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:42,538
I said that's impossible!
380
00:18:43,608 --> 00:18:45,441
I've never had children.
381
00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:46,643
And I don't got a son.
382
00:18:46,645 --> 00:18:48,110
Mr. Hill!
383
00:18:53,016 --> 00:18:55,751
Hey, listen to me.
384
00:18:55,753 --> 00:18:58,453
That man may not know he has a son,
385
00:18:58,455 --> 00:19:00,522
but you have a father.
386
00:19:00,524 --> 00:19:02,891
You hear me?
387
00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:08,363
Howard has summer classes.
388
00:19:08,365 --> 00:19:10,666
I think I might go early.
389
00:19:14,605 --> 00:19:17,461
Okay.
390
00:19:17,463 --> 00:19:19,886
That's why we take care
391
00:19:19,888 --> 00:19:22,377
of our community, 'cause
family is everything.
392
00:19:22,379 --> 00:19:24,669
_
393
00:19:24,671 --> 00:19:26,280
Now my brother Quinton
here's gonna lead us
394
00:19:26,282 --> 00:19:27,826
by "setting owt" a march.
395
00:19:27,828 --> 00:19:30,885
Let's clap it up for Brother Randall
396
00:19:30,887 --> 00:19:32,653
for leading a great group
397
00:19:32,655 --> 00:19:34,188
and being a great example.
398
00:19:36,225 --> 00:19:38,459
What's the motto of this group?
399
00:19:38,461 --> 00:19:39,960
Lifting as we climb!
400
00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:42,519
- We lift! We lift!
- We climb! We climb!
401
00:19:42,521 --> 00:19:44,097
Que team!
402
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:46,166
Que team!
403
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:49,603
Que team!
404
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,138
Que Psi Phi!
405
00:19:57,913 --> 00:20:01,081
♪ Well, it's time ♪
406
00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:04,084
♪ For us to throw down ♪
407
00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:06,887
♪ For my Que Psi Phi ♪
408
00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:10,557
♪ Omega Psi Phi, for my Que Psi Phi ♪
409
00:20:10,559 --> 00:20:11,725
♪ Que Psi Phi! ♪
410
00:20:32,778 --> 00:20:36,270
It is the first time
we have all the kids
411
00:20:36,272 --> 00:20:37,838
home from college at the same time.
412
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,618
It's nice, isn't it, Jack?
413
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:42,154
Yeah.
414
00:20:45,159 --> 00:20:47,326
Uh, Rebecca,
415
00:20:47,328 --> 00:20:49,502
this Cornish hen is delicious.
416
00:20:49,504 --> 00:20:51,361
Oh, thank you, Sophie.
417
00:20:51,363 --> 00:20:53,471
- Yeah, Mom, really juicy.
- Thank you.
418
00:20:53,473 --> 00:20:55,263
Hey, I helped. How about
419
00:20:55,265 --> 00:20:57,036
throwing some compliments my way, guys?
420
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:58,637
Oh, okay, Kevin.
421
00:20:58,639 --> 00:21:00,940
You're-you're the next Iron Chef.
422
00:21:00,942 --> 00:21:02,473
Dad, think I should
423
00:21:02,475 --> 00:21:04,976
quit Lundy and, uh,
go to culinary school?
424
00:21:04,978 --> 00:21:08,179
You make one decent piece
of chicken, and you want to
425
00:21:08,181 --> 00:21:09,847
abandon your old man on the job?
426
00:21:19,993 --> 00:21:21,826
So, Randall, how's school?
427
00:21:22,862 --> 00:21:24,162
It's fine.
428
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:29,267
Just... just fine?
429
00:21:37,444 --> 00:21:40,011
I can remember your
first day of kindergarten.
430
00:21:40,013 --> 00:21:41,979
You burst through those front doors,
431
00:21:41,981 --> 00:21:43,848
you couldn't wait to get
to the car and tell me
432
00:21:43,850 --> 00:21:46,350
everything about your day,
and now you've been gone
433
00:21:46,352 --> 00:21:49,345
for a whole semester,
and all I get is a "fine"?
434
00:21:49,347 --> 00:21:51,380
Bec, please.
435
00:22:04,402 --> 00:22:07,571
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna
catch a bus back to D.C.
436
00:22:07,573 --> 00:22:09,238
What, wait, now, Randall?
437
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,107
Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait...
438
00:22:11,109 --> 00:22:12,943
Dad, no. I thought I could do it.
439
00:22:12,945 --> 00:22:15,144
I thought enough time had passed
and I'd be able to come back
440
00:22:15,146 --> 00:22:17,681
and things would be
normal, but they're not.
441
00:22:17,683 --> 00:22:20,049
And they're never going to be.
442
00:22:20,051 --> 00:22:22,886
- I'm sorry.
- Randall, don't leave, man.
443
00:22:22,888 --> 00:22:24,020
Randall, please stay.
444
00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:42,137
And my son, just 11 years
old, he walks clear across town
445
00:22:42,139 --> 00:22:47,642
just so he can get his favorite
girl her favorite doughnuts.
446
00:22:47,644 --> 00:22:49,476
- Aw...
- It was in that moment,
447
00:22:49,478 --> 00:22:51,183
Kevin, that I knew you'd spend
448
00:22:51,185 --> 00:22:54,016
the rest of your life
going the extra mile
449
00:22:54,018 --> 00:22:55,783
just to make Sophie happy.
450
00:22:55,785 --> 00:22:57,685
- I'm proud of you, son.
- Thank you.
451
00:22:57,687 --> 00:22:59,988
Hear, hear. Cheers.
452
00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:04,325
Your dad is kind of a hottie.
453
00:23:04,327 --> 00:23:06,991
Uh, see, this is why I didn't
want you coming with me.
454
00:23:06,993 --> 00:23:10,164
I'm just teasing.
455
00:23:10,166 --> 00:23:13,267
You're a lot to unpack, RP.
456
00:23:13,269 --> 00:23:14,800
Two years, and I've never once
457
00:23:14,802 --> 00:23:16,802
heard you talk about these people.
458
00:23:18,942 --> 00:23:21,232
Hey, let me show my face real quick,
459
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:23,478
then we can get out of here, all right?
460
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,678
Mmm.
461
00:23:26,082 --> 00:23:27,786
Thank you very much for coming.
462
00:23:27,788 --> 00:23:30,078
Hey, Kev.
463
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,545
- Hey.
- Congrats, man.
464
00:23:31,547 --> 00:23:33,480
- Oh, thank you. Thanks.
- Really happy for you.
465
00:23:33,482 --> 00:23:36,084
- Happy you came.
- Yeah, man.
466
00:23:36,086 --> 00:23:40,321
Um, Dad told me Big
Three had a killer quarter.
467
00:23:40,323 --> 00:23:42,323
- That's great.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we did.
468
00:23:42,325 --> 00:23:43,958
We got the city to
commission two houses.
469
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,860
- Okay.
- And, uh, yeah, we've been doing great.
470
00:23:45,862 --> 00:23:48,361
- I'm trying to convince the old man to retire.
- Ah.
471
00:23:48,363 --> 00:23:50,231
- Good luck with that.
- Probably die with a hammer in his hands.
472
00:23:50,233 --> 00:23:51,866
That's what I always say.
473
00:23:51,868 --> 00:23:53,701
Yeah.
474
00:23:53,703 --> 00:23:56,670
Uh... Oh, hey, I read in
the paper you got the Brunel,
475
00:23:56,672 --> 00:23:59,023
uh, teaching award.
That-That's-that's huge, man.
476
00:23:59,025 --> 00:24:00,474
- Thank you very much, man.
- Yeah.
477
00:24:00,476 --> 00:24:01,569
No, work's been good.
478
00:24:01,571 --> 00:24:03,978
My students have been good.
479
00:24:03,980 --> 00:24:05,746
Students are g... I can see that.
480
00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:09,007
Uh, she's my T.A., man,
it's nothing serious.
481
00:24:09,009 --> 00:24:10,605
Well, it's never serious with you,
482
00:24:10,607 --> 00:24:11,908
- brother, is it?
- Ah...
483
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,654
- Well, hey.
- Look at this.
484
00:24:13,656 --> 00:24:16,657
- When did you sneak in?
- Yeah, oh, just a sec ago.
485
00:24:16,659 --> 00:24:18,648
- Yeah?
- And hi to this little lady.
486
00:24:18,650 --> 00:24:21,043
- Say hi.
- Not so little anymore, huh?
487
00:24:21,045 --> 00:24:23,564
No. You want to go see Daddy?
488
00:24:23,566 --> 00:24:25,165
Here, you go see Daddy.
489
00:24:25,167 --> 00:24:26,900
That's a yes.
490
00:24:26,902 --> 00:24:28,702
- See you later.
- Go see Daddy.
491
00:24:28,704 --> 00:24:32,072
- Oh, man. Time flies.
- Mm.
492
00:24:32,074 --> 00:24:34,742
I know. Oh, wait, did Kev tell you?
493
00:24:34,744 --> 00:24:37,809
- Tell me what?
- About going to the cabin for Fourth of July?
494
00:24:37,811 --> 00:24:39,112
We're gonna have a big blowout.
495
00:24:39,114 --> 00:24:40,853
- Ah...
- Ethan said he'd watch the girls,
496
00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:43,516
so, you know, I thought
we'd have a Big Three soirée?
497
00:24:43,518 --> 00:24:47,353
No, that sounds great. Um,
but with schedules and...
498
00:24:47,355 --> 00:24:49,355
I don't know, let me
think about it, yeah?
499
00:24:49,357 --> 00:24:51,557
All right.
500
00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:53,559
- Okay.
- Just let him think about it.
501
00:24:53,561 --> 00:24:56,329
- Kev...
- What's wrong with saying I'll think about it?
502
00:24:56,331 --> 00:24:58,800
Nothing. Nothing. You
do it all the time.
503
00:24:58,802 --> 00:25:00,600
You think about it and then
you never show up.
504
00:25:00,602 --> 00:25:01,903
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm-I'm curious, like,
505
00:25:01,905 --> 00:25:03,236
why did you even bother coming today?
506
00:25:03,238 --> 00:25:04,634
- 'Cause Dad asked me to.
- Uh, Dad asked you to?
507
00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:05,665
- Oh, well, glad you came.
- Yeah.
508
00:25:05,667 --> 00:25:07,373
- Thank you for gracing us with your presence.
- Guys.
509
00:25:07,375 --> 00:25:08,775
- Thanks, Randall. It's been wonderful.
- Guys.
510
00:25:08,777 --> 00:25:10,777
- I'm not talking about...
- Hey, boys?
511
00:25:10,779 --> 00:25:12,971
Whatever you're talking
about can probably wait
512
00:25:12,973 --> 00:25:15,080
until our guests leave.
513
00:25:15,082 --> 00:25:16,782
Yeah.
514
00:25:16,784 --> 00:25:18,881
Hi, Randall.
515
00:25:18,883 --> 00:25:20,348
- Hey, Mom.
- Hi.
516
00:25:22,049 --> 00:25:23,938
You know, I was just
about to leave, anyway.
517
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,691
I got a lecture in the morning, so...
518
00:25:25,693 --> 00:25:27,659
Right.
519
00:25:58,623 --> 00:26:01,123
_
520
00:26:04,537 --> 00:26:10,569
_
521
00:26:15,945 --> 00:26:21,090
_
522
00:26:27,923 --> 00:26:32,494
_
523
00:27:02,554 --> 00:27:04,955
Ah.
524
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:07,190
So, lesson plans are on your nightstand.
525
00:27:07,192 --> 00:27:09,826
- Mm-hmm.
- And I've uploaded the fall semester grades.
526
00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:11,694
- You're the best.
- Mm-hmm.
527
00:27:12,898 --> 00:27:14,597
Mm.
528
00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:19,403
Hey, Dad.
529
00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:21,638
Hey, son. Catch you at a bad time?
530
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,974
No. Just got in from a run.
531
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:26,876
I don't have a lecture
till noon. What's up?
532
00:27:27,913 --> 00:27:32,316
Well... Thanksgiving is next week.
533
00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:35,518
I was hoping you'd come home.
534
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,822
- Dad.
- You're just... y-you're so far away.
535
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:41,893
You should be with your
family for the holiday.
536
00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:47,831
Randall,
537
00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:50,066
it's been a long time.
538
00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:55,237
You're gonna have to forgive
her at some point, son.
539
00:27:56,274 --> 00:27:59,909
She's not well, Randall.
540
00:27:59,911 --> 00:28:02,979
Not well? What do you mean?
541
00:28:02,981 --> 00:28:04,814
A few months ago,
542
00:28:04,816 --> 00:28:10,119
I started to notice
things... just little things.
543
00:28:10,121 --> 00:28:14,523
She'd forget where she
put her keys or her phone.
544
00:28:14,525 --> 00:28:16,658
She couldn't remember
the name of a movie
545
00:28:16,660 --> 00:28:18,494
that we had just seen...
546
00:28:53,030 --> 00:28:55,030
I'm done.
547
00:28:55,032 --> 00:28:58,066
I don't want to do this anymore.
548
00:29:01,803 --> 00:29:03,669
I mean, what exactly are we doing here?
549
00:29:03,671 --> 00:29:06,416
What is the point of this exercise?
550
00:29:06,418 --> 00:29:10,920
I need you to acknowledge that
even if your father had lived,
551
00:29:10,922 --> 00:29:13,422
that every moment in
your life after that
552
00:29:13,424 --> 00:29:14,937
could have gone a
million different ways.
553
00:29:14,939 --> 00:29:18,364
- I'm aware of that.
- You're aware that you don't
554
00:29:18,366 --> 00:29:21,264
control the outcomes of
every situation in your life?
555
00:29:21,266 --> 00:29:22,889
Yes.
556
00:29:22,891 --> 00:29:26,668
In your fantasy, you were the one
557
00:29:26,670 --> 00:29:29,737
who stopped your father
from going back in the house.
558
00:29:29,739 --> 00:29:32,840
Why are you so sure you
could've stopped him?
559
00:29:32,842 --> 00:29:35,643
Dad, if you go back in
that house, so help me, God,
560
00:29:35,645 --> 00:29:38,146
I'll go through that front
door and get you myself!
561
00:29:45,222 --> 00:29:46,721
Just stay there, I'll be right back!
562
00:29:46,723 --> 00:29:48,756
Jack! Jack!
563
00:29:48,758 --> 00:29:50,858
But it wasn't the fire that killed him.
564
00:29:50,860 --> 00:29:52,961
It was his heart.
565
00:29:52,963 --> 00:29:54,695
I could've gone to
the hospital with him.
566
00:29:54,697 --> 00:29:57,332
I should've been there.
567
00:30:02,839 --> 00:30:05,539
I'm gonna try and go find
a pay phone and call Kate,
568
00:30:05,541 --> 00:30:07,441
- see if they've found Kevin.
- Okay.
569
00:30:07,443 --> 00:30:09,043
Okay.
570
00:30:18,254 --> 00:30:19,553
I can't believe
571
00:30:19,555 --> 00:30:22,122
the Broncos won the...
572
00:30:25,061 --> 00:30:26,726
Dad? You...
573
00:30:26,728 --> 00:30:28,829
Something's wrong.
574
00:30:28,831 --> 00:30:30,564
Something's not right.
575
00:30:30,566 --> 00:30:34,935
You said he had a widowmaker
heart attack, right?
576
00:30:34,937 --> 00:30:36,937
That's right.
577
00:30:36,939 --> 00:30:38,939
So, even if you were there,
578
00:30:38,941 --> 00:30:41,007
you might not have
been able to save him.
579
00:30:41,009 --> 00:30:43,746
Unless you're gonna tell
me that, as a 17-year-old,
580
00:30:43,748 --> 00:30:46,412
you were trained in emergency
cardiac resuscitation.
581
00:30:46,414 --> 00:30:48,414
I don't know, damn it, but
I could've done something.
582
00:30:48,416 --> 00:30:51,017
That's what I do. I fix things.
583
00:30:51,019 --> 00:30:53,152
- You couldn't fix this.
- Yeah, well at least I could've spent
584
00:30:53,154 --> 00:30:55,464
the last 20 years knowing that I tried.
585
00:30:57,559 --> 00:30:59,192
So,
586
00:30:59,194 --> 00:31:01,060
so you think that would've
made a difference
587
00:31:01,062 --> 00:31:03,830
in how you processed his death?
588
00:31:03,832 --> 00:31:05,915
Knowing that you tried to save him?
589
00:31:05,917 --> 00:31:07,917
Yes!
590
00:31:09,170 --> 00:31:11,304
Why do you think that?
591
00:31:13,207 --> 00:31:15,474
Because I tried with William.
592
00:31:15,476 --> 00:31:19,077
And when it became clear
to me that it was hurting
593
00:31:19,079 --> 00:31:23,415
more than it was helping, I was
okay letting him choose to stop.
594
00:31:23,417 --> 00:31:25,217
Because we had tried.
595
00:31:28,623 --> 00:31:30,623
Okay.
596
00:31:31,692 --> 00:31:33,025
What?
597
00:31:33,027 --> 00:31:35,430
- Nothing, I said okay.
- Mm-mm.
598
00:31:35,432 --> 00:31:38,823
Mm-mm. No, you don't
think it's the same, right?
599
00:31:38,825 --> 00:31:41,852
But you don't think it's the
same because I knew my dad
600
00:31:41,854 --> 00:31:44,135
my whole life and I knew
William for less than a year,
601
00:31:44,137 --> 00:31:45,937
so the bond was different.
602
00:31:45,939 --> 00:31:48,940
Obviously it was easier for me
to make peace with his death?
603
00:31:48,942 --> 00:31:50,918
Is that what you think?
604
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,512
I-I think I lost two fathers.
605
00:31:54,514 --> 00:31:56,681
And I think if I'd had it my way,
606
00:31:56,683 --> 00:31:59,984
obviously I wouldn't have
lost either one of them.
607
00:31:59,986 --> 00:32:02,253
So to answer your first question, yes,
608
00:32:02,255 --> 00:32:05,623
I'm fully aware that I'm
just a-a cute little pawn
609
00:32:05,625 --> 00:32:08,259
on the universe's big giant chess board.
610
00:32:08,261 --> 00:32:09,661
I don't need an exercise
611
00:32:09,663 --> 00:32:11,763
from some overpriced
therapist in cheap shoes
612
00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:13,230
to prove it to me.
613
00:32:16,570 --> 00:32:18,870
That was uncalled for.
614
00:32:18,872 --> 00:32:20,538
Sorry.
615
00:32:20,540 --> 00:32:23,207
Oh, please, I live for this stuff.
616
00:32:26,345 --> 00:32:28,768
It's interesting, Randall,
617
00:32:28,770 --> 00:32:31,248
how you see this entirely as
618
00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:33,650
an exercise about losing your father.
619
00:32:33,652 --> 00:32:35,773
Your fathers. Plural fathers.
620
00:32:35,775 --> 00:32:37,288
I don't follow.
621
00:32:37,290 --> 00:32:42,626
Actually, this whole exercise
began because of a disagreement
622
00:32:42,628 --> 00:32:48,332
that you had with your brother
over your mother's care.
623
00:32:48,334 --> 00:32:53,137
If you think about it, your
life has really been defined
624
00:32:53,139 --> 00:32:55,339
by your mothers, hasn't it?
625
00:32:55,341 --> 00:32:57,774
The mother you lost at birth,
626
00:32:57,776 --> 00:33:00,243
who is barely a footnote in your story,
627
00:33:00,245 --> 00:33:03,161
and the mother who lied
to you for 36 years.
628
00:33:03,163 --> 00:33:04,314
All right, look.
629
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:07,784
William told me everything
he knew about my birth mother.
630
00:33:07,786 --> 00:33:11,354
It was a romance that
was sweet for a time,
631
00:33:11,356 --> 00:33:14,257
but it was short-lived and drug-addled.
632
00:33:14,259 --> 00:33:17,393
I'll never know much about her,
633
00:33:17,395 --> 00:33:21,264
I've accepted that long ago.
634
00:33:21,266 --> 00:33:23,700
As for my mother Rebecca...
635
00:33:25,771 --> 00:33:29,006
... yeah, she lied to me.
636
00:33:29,008 --> 00:33:31,008
But I forgave her for that.
637
00:33:31,010 --> 00:33:33,976
And we've moved on.
I've accepted that, too.
638
00:33:35,479 --> 00:33:36,578
Have you?
639
00:33:36,580 --> 00:33:38,014
Absolutely.
640
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,715
It's behind us.
641
00:33:41,352 --> 00:33:42,384
It's...
642
00:33:42,386 --> 00:33:44,586
It's curious, though,
643
00:33:44,588 --> 00:33:48,819
that in both your
scenarios of how your life
644
00:33:48,821 --> 00:33:51,426
would've played out if
your father had lived...
645
00:33:51,428 --> 00:33:54,329
the first thing that
happens after you save him,
646
00:33:54,331 --> 00:33:56,231
the first thing,
647
00:33:56,233 --> 00:33:59,334
is your mother tells
the truth about William.
648
00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:09,410
Why do you think you're
here in my office right now?
649
00:34:09,412 --> 00:34:10,712
I know, I know,
650
00:34:10,714 --> 00:34:12,881
because everybody who comes to therapy
651
00:34:12,883 --> 00:34:15,349
has these deep-seated
mommy issues, right?
652
00:34:15,351 --> 00:34:18,419
I didn't say therapy. I said my office.
653
00:34:18,421 --> 00:34:19,854
My office.
654
00:34:21,058 --> 00:34:23,058
Do you know how many black men
655
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:26,661
who can choose whatever
therapist they want choose me?
656
00:34:26,663 --> 00:34:29,330
It's a very low number.
657
00:34:29,332 --> 00:34:31,932
You were highly recommended.
658
00:34:32,968 --> 00:34:35,769
Your mother and I are the same gender,
659
00:34:35,771 --> 00:34:37,171
we're the same race,
660
00:34:37,173 --> 00:34:41,642
I'm probably around the same age
she was when your father died.
661
00:34:41,644 --> 00:34:43,578
Another therapist...
662
00:34:43,580 --> 00:34:46,647
a good one, not an
overpriced hack like me...
663
00:34:46,649 --> 00:34:50,233
might say you're looking
for someone like your mother
664
00:34:50,235 --> 00:34:53,421
to help you process her.
665
00:34:53,423 --> 00:34:55,289
What she's done.
666
00:34:55,291 --> 00:34:57,558
Her illness.
667
00:35:04,434 --> 00:35:06,600
I'm not a neurologist, Randall,
668
00:35:06,602 --> 00:35:08,950
and I don't know your
mother's condition.
669
00:35:08,952 --> 00:35:12,010
But I'm pretty sure you don't
have all the time in the world
670
00:35:12,012 --> 00:35:16,147
to heal from the wounds
that you have from her.
671
00:35:18,179 --> 00:35:19,679
So, what are you saying?
672
00:35:19,681 --> 00:35:24,083
What is the exact
advice that you're giving me?
673
00:35:24,085 --> 00:35:26,052
I'm a therapist.
674
00:35:26,054 --> 00:35:27,754
I don't give advice.
675
00:35:27,756 --> 00:35:32,392
I offer observations
and I pose questions.
676
00:35:32,394 --> 00:35:34,761
Observation.
677
00:35:34,763 --> 00:35:38,265
Even in the worst version of your life,
678
00:35:38,267 --> 00:35:40,766
you still protect your mother,
679
00:35:40,768 --> 00:35:43,168
you still redeem her in the end.
680
00:35:44,472 --> 00:35:46,672
Question.
681
00:35:46,674 --> 00:35:50,376
Have you ever really
confronted your mother
682
00:35:50,378 --> 00:35:53,479
about what she did to you?
683
00:35:53,481 --> 00:35:55,748
About what she kept from you?
684
00:36:05,091 --> 00:36:06,590
Hey.
685
00:36:06,592 --> 00:36:10,794
It took six episodes, but
it finally makes sense.
686
00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:12,560
- And, baby...
- Huh?
687
00:36:12,562 --> 00:36:14,562
I might be leaving you for Yahya.
688
00:36:14,564 --> 00:36:18,399
Ah... I thought we was gonna
binge Watchmen together.
689
00:36:18,401 --> 00:36:20,835
You okay?
690
00:36:20,837 --> 00:36:22,570
You look exhausted.
691
00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:28,932
Turns out I'm still holding
on to some residual resentments
692
00:36:28,934 --> 00:36:31,146
about my mom keeping William from me.
693
00:36:31,148 --> 00:36:33,314
Well, hell, I could've told you that.
694
00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:36,151
- How much we paying this lady?
- Mm-hmm.
695
00:36:53,903 --> 00:36:56,604
What was that for?
696
00:36:56,606 --> 00:36:59,473
I am very proud of you.
697
00:37:06,048 --> 00:37:07,348
- Okay.
- Okay.
698
00:37:07,350 --> 00:37:09,350
- All right.
- Here we go.
699
00:37:10,653 --> 00:37:14,154
Uh... half of a square?
700
00:37:14,156 --> 00:37:16,691
I'm gonna need more than
that. That's... that's nothing.
701
00:37:16,693 --> 00:37:19,171
It's, uh... it's the train tracks from,
702
00:37:19,173 --> 00:37:20,860
uh... it's...
703
00:37:20,862 --> 00:37:22,595
- How do you... ?
- What is it?!
704
00:37:22,597 --> 00:37:24,735
It's Mission to Mars.
Mission... Mission to Mars.
705
00:37:24,737 --> 00:37:26,832
Of course, obviously, yeah,
it's Mission to Mars.
706
00:37:26,834 --> 00:37:28,267
- It looks like an 11.
- There's no mission,
707
00:37:28,269 --> 00:37:29,365
- there's no Mars.
- My turn,
708
00:37:29,367 --> 00:37:31,360
but you're gonna go for me,
because my phone's ringing.
709
00:37:31,362 --> 00:37:32,739
- Okay? Do me proud.
- Okay.
710
00:37:32,741 --> 00:37:34,798
I will definitely do better
than Toby's impressionistic
711
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,055
- spaceship.
- Clearly, it's a r...
712
00:37:36,057 --> 00:37:37,650
it's a rocket ship going up into...
713
00:37:37,652 --> 00:37:39,387
You know what? I would kill it
on Fallon, I don't care what...
714
00:37:39,389 --> 00:37:40,714
Hi, sweetheart.
715
00:37:40,716 --> 00:37:42,482
Hey, Mom.
716
00:37:42,484 --> 00:37:44,484
Wow, it's late out there.
717
00:37:44,486 --> 00:37:46,519
Is everything okay
with Beth and the girls?
718
00:37:46,521 --> 00:37:48,087
Yeah, yeah, they're fine.
719
00:37:48,089 --> 00:37:49,120
Asleep.
720
00:37:49,122 --> 00:37:51,724
Was just calling to talk.
721
00:37:51,726 --> 00:37:54,092
Haven't really done that since New York.
722
00:37:54,094 --> 00:37:55,260
Yeah.
723
00:37:55,262 --> 00:37:57,396
I know. How are you?
724
00:37:57,398 --> 00:37:59,431
I'm good.
725
00:37:59,433 --> 00:38:03,435
I just, uh, have been thinking
a lot about your decision.
726
00:38:03,437 --> 00:38:06,226
Oh, Randall, come on, sweetheart,
727
00:38:06,228 --> 00:38:07,673
I thought we had put that to bed.
728
00:38:07,675 --> 00:38:09,140
I told you,
729
00:38:09,142 --> 00:38:11,510
I have no interest in
being away from the family.
730
00:38:11,512 --> 00:38:15,604
Okay? I-I respect the fact
that you're passionate about it,
731
00:38:15,606 --> 00:38:16,660
but I really don't want to talk
732
00:38:16,662 --> 00:38:18,061
about the clinical trial anymore.
733
00:38:19,487 --> 00:38:21,760
Dr. Leigh,
734
00:38:21,762 --> 00:38:25,797
everything you've said makes sense.
735
00:38:27,027 --> 00:38:30,125
And I've probably known
about it all for a while
736
00:38:30,127 --> 00:38:32,997
but haven't been able to...
737
00:38:32,999 --> 00:38:34,899
find it.
738
00:38:36,302 --> 00:38:39,270
I'm grateful to you for your help today.
739
00:38:39,272 --> 00:38:40,872
Mom,
740
00:38:40,874 --> 00:38:43,641
I've been a good son.
741
00:38:43,643 --> 00:38:46,143
And I never say stuff like that,
742
00:38:46,145 --> 00:38:49,213
but I know that I have been.
743
00:38:49,215 --> 00:38:51,482
After Dad died,
744
00:38:51,484 --> 00:38:53,418
I stayed at home.
745
00:38:53,420 --> 00:38:55,586
I took care of you.
746
00:38:55,588 --> 00:38:58,556
I have been a good son.
747
00:38:59,826 --> 00:39:01,015
I know you have.
748
00:39:01,017 --> 00:39:02,817
You've-you've always been.
749
00:39:03,596 --> 00:39:06,596
And I've let things go, Mom.
750
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,599
Things...
751
00:39:09,601 --> 00:39:12,602
that were kept from me.
752
00:39:12,604 --> 00:39:15,267
Things that I should
have resented you for,
753
00:39:15,269 --> 00:39:16,273
but I never did,
754
00:39:16,275 --> 00:39:20,344
because I knew that it
would be painful for you.
755
00:39:20,346 --> 00:39:22,746
So I didn't.
756
00:39:23,749 --> 00:39:26,016
I know.
757
00:39:26,018 --> 00:39:28,552
I lost my father,
758
00:39:28,554 --> 00:39:32,041
and I couldn't stop it.
759
00:39:32,043 --> 00:39:34,100
I lost a second father,
760
00:39:34,102 --> 00:39:36,927
and I couldn't fix that either.
761
00:39:36,929 --> 00:39:40,330
And now my mother is sick,
762
00:39:40,332 --> 00:39:42,265
and there are options.
763
00:39:42,267 --> 00:39:45,668
I have never asked
you for anything, Mom.
764
00:39:45,670 --> 00:39:47,966
Not in my entire life.
765
00:39:47,968 --> 00:39:49,872
I've never asked you for anything.
766
00:39:49,874 --> 00:39:54,410
But I'm gonna ask you for something now.
767
00:39:54,412 --> 00:39:59,287
Mom, you have to do this clinical trial.
768
00:39:59,289 --> 00:40:01,912
And I know you don't want to,
769
00:40:01,914 --> 00:40:03,586
but you have to.
770
00:40:03,588 --> 00:40:06,826
'Cause I don't want to be
in a therapy session
771
00:40:06,828 --> 00:40:10,048
20 years from now,
playing out scenarios,
772
00:40:10,050 --> 00:40:11,673
wishing that I had pushed harder,
773
00:40:11,675 --> 00:40:13,154
wishing that I had done more,
774
00:40:13,156 --> 00:40:14,392
'cause, maybe if I had,
775
00:40:14,394 --> 00:40:16,494
you would still be alive.
776
00:40:17,667 --> 00:40:20,668
I can't live with that,
777
00:40:20,670 --> 00:40:23,827
even if you can.
778
00:40:23,829 --> 00:40:25,637
I will come to therapy
779
00:40:25,639 --> 00:40:26,641
to work this through.
780
00:40:26,643 --> 00:40:29,644
I won't take it on alone.
781
00:40:30,647 --> 00:40:32,981
But I will not...
782
00:40:32,983 --> 00:40:37,785
relitigate what my mother
did to me with William.
783
00:40:37,787 --> 00:40:41,429
I won't reopen that wound for her.
784
00:40:41,431 --> 00:40:44,688
I understand you think
that hashing it out
785
00:40:44,690 --> 00:40:46,794
will bring me some kind of peace.
786
00:40:46,796 --> 00:40:49,116
Maybe you're right. I...
787
00:40:49,118 --> 00:40:51,284
I don't know.
788
00:40:52,468 --> 00:40:56,804
But I've already lost three parents.
789
00:40:56,806 --> 00:41:01,242
I know that losing my
mother would break me.
790
00:41:03,046 --> 00:41:05,547
I can't lose her.
791
00:41:07,383 --> 00:41:12,053
I will do anything to
keep that from happening.
792
00:41:13,361 --> 00:41:14,950
I'll do whatever
793
00:41:14,952 --> 00:41:16,480
it takes.
794
00:41:16,482 --> 00:41:19,045
I've been a good son, Mom.
795
00:41:19,047 --> 00:41:20,898
I've been a good son,
796
00:41:20,900 --> 00:41:23,664
and I've never asked you
for anything. But I am
797
00:41:23,666 --> 00:41:27,000
asking you for this now.
798
00:41:28,103 --> 00:41:30,503
And I need you to say it.
799
00:41:31,607 --> 00:41:34,575
You are going to St. Louis.
800
00:41:34,577 --> 00:41:38,078
You are going to do this clinical trial.
801
00:41:56,157 --> 00:41:57,413
Okay.
802
00:41:58,967 --> 00:42:03,470
I will go to St. Louis,
and I will do the trial.
803
00:42:13,694 --> 00:42:16,694
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