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Previously on
Young Sheldon...
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Hello, Mrs. Cooper.
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I just want to let you know,
with Dr. Sturgis away,
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I'll be available
should Sheldon need anything.
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Now, I'm not terribly
experienced around children.
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If he needs to use the restroom,
I don't have to go in with him, do I?
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I don't need you to babysit me.
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I'm perfectly self-reliant.
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Then it's good I kept the receipt
for this bottle of bubbles
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shaped like a bear.
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Welcome to the world of philosophy.
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I'm going to teach you
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that you don't even know
what you think you know.
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Oh, boy.
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I'm not going to school.
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Why not?
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Because I don't know what's real.
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Nothing matters.
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George?
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All right. What's the problem here?
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I don't know what's real.
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Well, it's a fun thing to think about
on the way to school.
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Get up and get dressed.
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Maybe I'm already dressed.
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Maybe I'm wearing a zoot suit and spats.
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That's a shoe covering
that's short for spatterdasher.
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Or is it?
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There's no way to know.
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Here's what I know.
I don't have time for this nonsense.
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What is time?
31
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What is sense? What is "is"?
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Sheldon, I mean it.
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I remember when things meant things.
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All right, I'm gonna count to three.
One...
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Believing in numbers,
that takes me back.
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- Two.
- "To be or not to be."
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Shakespeare was onto something.
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This is your last chance.
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Have you ever wondered
if you're the tongue
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of a multidimensional being,
trying to taste something
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you can never even understand?
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I have.
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I talked to him.
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Where is your mother?
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She had to leave for work.
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I have to work, too.
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You also get to take me to school.
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What am I supposed to do
about your brother?
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Call me old-fashioned,
but I say spank him.
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Your mom won't let me.
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Okay, I'm here. What's up?
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Sheldon won't get out of bed
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and I'm gonna be late for work,
he's going to be late for school.
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So you want me
to get him up and drive him?
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Yeah.
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I like it better when I just
come eat your food and leave.
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Hey, Moonpie. What's going on here?
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That's an excellent question.
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Too bad there's no answer.
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Well, you need to get out of bed.
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I don't need to do anything.
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Okay. I'm gonna count to three.
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Dad already counted to three.
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Oh.
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Did he try the Texas thing?
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No.
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In that case...
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Look at you lying there.
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When a Texan gets knocked off a horse,
he gets right back on.
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That is the second most important thing
about being a Texan,
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right after thinking
you're better than everybody else.
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Maybe the horse gets back on the Texan.
Who's to say?
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I don't know what that means.
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That's because you can't know anything.
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If you need to stare at the ceiling
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and contemplate the futility
of existence,
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Missy's bed is available.
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Amazing.
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What is?
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I've been using the same pen
for seven months
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and it's still going.
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That's your bar for amazing?
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Yep.
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Sad.
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It's the same pen.
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It is too early in the morning for you.
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Hello.
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Yeah, I'll be down in a bit.
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Where are you headed?
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Principal's office.
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Ooh, you're in trouble.
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You're a child.
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I'd rather be a child
than in trouble.
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Shelly, Dr. Sturgis
is on the line for you.
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Maybe he is, maybe he isn't,
but very well.
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- Hello?
- Hi, Sheldon.
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I hear you're going through
some sort of existential crisis.
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I suppose so.
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I just don't know
if we can tell what's real or not,
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and if nothing's real,
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I don't know what to think
or if I'm even thinking at all.
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I went through something similar once.
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Really? What happened?
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I was trekking through the Amazon
and I saw two frogs,
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one hallucinogenic and the other not.
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I tried
to lick the normal one,
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and by mistake,
I licked the hallucinogenic one.
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It really rocked my world.
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Why would you lick either of them?
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I'm not sure. Probably low blood sugar.
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But the point is,
I also lost track of reality.
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How did you handle it?
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I saw a jaguar and I realized
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I didn't care if it was real or not.
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I just hauled my tushy out of there.
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I appreciate the call.
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I'm giving you back to my Meemaw now.
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Bye.
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Hey, John. Any luck?
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Not unless you have access
to a jaguar.
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I don't think I do.
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Really, any jungle cat will do.
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Hey, Tom.
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George.
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Sheldon's not here anymore.
Thought it'd be a while
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before I got called back
into the principal's office.
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How's he doing? I miss that kid.
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He took a philosophy class
and won't get out of bed
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'cause he doesn't know
what's real anymore.
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Anyway,
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we need to talk about Georgie.
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Should have seen that coming.
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What's wrong?
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Well, he's been cutting classes.
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Already? Semester's barely started.
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He's a go-getter.
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Mmm.
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- I'll talk to him.
- Thanks.
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How are the team
looking this year, George?
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We just had
one difficult conversation, Tom.
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Let's not have another.
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Smart.
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While my Meemaw
wasn't able to acquire a jungle cat,
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the idea of tormenting a child
did tickle her Texan fancy.
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Sheldon.
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I have someone else
who wants to talk to you.
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What are you doing
with that filthy thing?
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Why do you care?
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If nothing is real,
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then neither is the chicken.
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Oh, good. We're standing now.
That's progress.
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Get her out of here.
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Well, I would, but...
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Apparently,
I can't know what here is.
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So maybe I could just
set her on your bed.
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Okay, okay. I'll get dressed.
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Make it snappy.
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This still doesn't solve
my existential crisis.
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Say what? You wanna hold her?
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No.
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Less talk. More pants.
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What's your first class?
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00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:03,841
Solid-state physics at 11:30.
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- You'll make it just in time.
- Although...
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And before you say
"Does time even exist?" it does.
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So stop wasting mine.
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What's this philosophy teacher's name?
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Professor Ericson. Why?
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I might pop in and say hello.
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Be careful.
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She may make you question
your most deeply held values.
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I'm a stubborn old crank.
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I'll do just fine.
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I'm a stubborn young crank,
and it didn't help me.
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You wanted to see me?
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Sit down.
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Is this gonna take long?
I need to get to class.
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From what I hear,
you don't care about that.
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Now sit.
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00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:52,764
What the hell you doin'?
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I cut a class. Who cares?
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It was more than one, and I care.
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You start flunking out,
you're gonna get kicked off the team.
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Fine.
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00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,044
Well, now you don't care about football?
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Not really.
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I don't know what's going on with you,
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but you better
get your head out of your ass.
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Football's a waste of time.
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I have a job I could be at.
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You made a commitment to the team
and you're gonna honor it.
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Are we done?
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Just get back to class.
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And I better see you at practice.
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Well, I don't know if I can find it
with my head up my ass.
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So, according to de Broglie,
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lambda equals "h"
divided by "m" times what?
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Sheldon?
199
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,396
Is it velocity?
200
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Yes. Now...
201
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:41,731
Or is it a velociraptor?
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I'm sorry?
203
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:47,153
Perhaps lambda equals "h" divided
by "m" times a velociraptor.
204
00:08:48,154 --> 00:08:49,530
Or a velveteen rabbit.
205
00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:50,865
Ooh! Or Velveeta.
206
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:54,160
That's the cheese my mom puts
on broccoli when she's being fancy.
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00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,954
Is this from your philosophy class?
208
00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:59,457
Or perhaps that Ren and Stumpy
I've heard about.
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Philosophy.
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00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:03,919
Mr. Cooper, do you really believe
211
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:06,714
that de Broglie's equation
contains Velveeta cheese?
212
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:09,050
Well, I don't know.
Maybe he was just trying to be fancy.
213
00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:11,426
Hello.
214
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:12,970
Can I help you?
215
00:09:13,054 --> 00:09:14,764
Hi. I'm Connie Tucker.
216
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:16,557
I'm Sheldon Cooper's grandmother.
217
00:09:16,891 --> 00:09:19,310
Oh! Nice to meet you.
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00:09:19,894 --> 00:09:21,562
He is a remarkable young man.
219
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:22,897
Yes, he is.
220
00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:25,399
He's also a very
impressionable young man,
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00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:28,027
kind of like a lump of clay
with a bowtie.
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00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,447
All I did was teach him
about epistemology.
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00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:36,243
Whatever it is you're teaching him,
it has made him question everything.
224
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:37,536
That's the goal.
225
00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:41,707
Lady, I had to threaten him with
a chicken so he'd put his pants on.
226
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:43,667
Well, I don't know
what's gotten into that kid.
227
00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:46,170
He's allowed to not
want to play football.
228
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,298
Can you, for once in your life,
take my side, Wayne?
229
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,050
It's not my fault you're never right.
230
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,053
So you think it's okay he just quit?
231
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,805
He doesn't get that much playing time.
232
00:09:57,515 --> 00:09:59,225
Well, in my family, we don't quit.
233
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:00,893
I don't know.
234
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,478
You quit my book club pretty quick.
235
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:04,063
I'm talking about football.
236
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,357
Why is it so important to you
that he play?
237
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,269
Are you sure you're a coach?
238
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:13,239
Team sports provides confidence,
leadership, discipline.
239
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:16,117
So does holding down a job,
which he seems to shine at.
240
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,370
Let's just eat in silence.
241
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,287
Fine.
242
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,836
I still think you should have read
The Color Purple.
243
00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:28,086
We were bawling.
244
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,383
Although tasty,
a brick of cheese is not a number.
245
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,760
Why are we still talking about this?
246
00:10:34,844 --> 00:10:36,428
Maybe we're not talking at all.
247
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:38,430
Okay, that's enough for today.
248
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,891
Not your best lecture.
249
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,562
It's fairly normal
for first-time philosophy students
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00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,272
to have their world views shaken.
251
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,898
Do they snap out of it?
252
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:49,732
Well, you hope.
253
00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:52,611
Professor Ericson, I insist that...
254
00:10:53,112 --> 00:10:55,406
Hello, Connie.
What a pleasant surprise.
255
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,657
Hey.
256
00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:59,429
I'm sorry you're about to see me
speak harshly to my colleague.
257
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,451
Have at it.
258
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,872
Professor Ericson, I insist
that you speak to this young man
259
00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:04,957
and explain to him
that reality is real
260
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,209
and it's possible to know
things as fact.
261
00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:10,045
The class is called
Introduction to Philosophy.
262
00:11:10,129 --> 00:11:11,130
That's what I did.
263
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,132
Well, un-introduce him.
264
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:15,735
Yes. He's at this school
'cause of his brilliant scientific mind.
265
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,470
He spent my last class
talking about processed cheese.
266
00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:19,847
Sheldon, is that true?
267
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,140
Nothing's true.
268
00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,601
You see what you've done? You broke him.
269
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:27,395
Hey.
270
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:31,681
How come you didn't want
to get out of bed this morning?
271
00:11:32,151 --> 00:11:34,945
If I can't know what's real,
what's the point?
272
00:11:35,905 --> 00:11:37,656
You have the right words.
273
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,325
You're just saying them wrong.
274
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,203
It's not "What's the point?"
275
00:11:43,037 --> 00:11:44,288
It's "What's the point?"
276
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,082
I don't understand.
277
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:49,835
Asking these questions is exciting.
278
00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:51,879
It's what gets me out of bed.
279
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:54,506
That's interesting.
280
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,718
Richard Feynman did say
the greatest joy in life
281
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,887
is the pleasure of finding things out.
282
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,514
Feynman, he's the physics guy, right?
283
00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:05,142
Yes. And your perfume is beguiling.
284
00:12:06,644 --> 00:12:08,312
It's all making sense to me now.
285
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:09,730
Thank you.
286
00:12:10,356 --> 00:12:11,649
I am happy to help.
287
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:15,569
Dr. Linkletter, I'm dropping your class
and switching my major to philosophy.
288
00:12:16,362 --> 00:12:17,362
What?
289
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:25,829
It's funny.
290
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,224
This morning I couldn't get out of bed
291
00:12:27,248 --> 00:12:29,959
and now I stand before a whole
new exciting field of study.
292
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:35,089
Maybe instead of making this big switch,
you could study both.
293
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:38,175
You could be physics-philosophy guy.
294
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:40,261
You sound like a logical positivist.
295
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:42,064
That's a branch of philosophy
that maintains
296
00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:44,098
the best way to philosophize
is through science.
297
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:45,182
Well, there you go.
298
00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:46,267
Do that.
299
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,560
It may be too early to specialize.
300
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,980
I've only been a philosopher
for 15 minutes.
301
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,190
Did you notice
302
00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:56,610
Dr. Linkletter didn't look
too thrilled about you leaving science?
303
00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:58,254
He never looks thrilled about anything.
304
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,905
I think that's just his face.
305
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,199
That's the face.
306
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:10,225
Why the hell weren't you at practice?
307
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:11,609
Can't talk right now. I'm working.
308
00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:13,419
Well, you're gonna talk about it.
309
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,088
What do you want from me?
310
00:13:16,422 --> 00:13:18,299
I don't wanna play football.
I wanna work.
311
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,552
You have your whole life
to hold down a job.
312
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,262
Hey, I like my job.
313
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,222
It's not my problem you hate yours.
314
00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:32,604
Do whatever you want.
315
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,276
To figure out which
school of philosophy suited me best,
316
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,570
I decided to sample each one.
317
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,948
The same way I determined
my favorite flavor of oatmeal.
318
00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:44,283
Plain.
319
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:49,246
What are you doing?
320
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,749
I'm practicing
the philosophy of cynicism.
321
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:54,793
The ancient Greek view that
the rules of society should be ignored.
322
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:57,951
If you're gonna break rules,
you can do better than that.
323
00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,255
How?
324
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,969
Renaissance humanism is finding meaning
325
00:14:04,053 --> 00:14:06,138
in the human form through art.
326
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,766
- Can I move?
- No.
327
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,309
But my butt itches.
328
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:11,852
Scratch it on your own time.
329
00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:18,335
Nihilists believe that
there's no point to anything
330
00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:20,110
because it all ends in nothingness.
331
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:21,653
Mind if I put on MTV?
332
00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,031
Doesn't matter.
We're all going to die anyway.
333
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,741
Deep thought, dingus.
334
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,452
Traditionalism is the philosophy
335
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,996
that the best way of life
is a return to the past.
336
00:14:31,497 --> 00:14:32,706
What are you doing?
337
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:36,043
Making my own butter...
like in olden times.
338
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:37,711
That's stupid.
339
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,522
My arms are still sore.
340
00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:44,343
Altruism is the belief that
we should live only
341
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,136
by bringing happiness to others.
342
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,553
These are for you.
343
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,596
Thanks.
344
00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:50,265
What the hell?
345
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,102
Egoism is the belief that we should live
346
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:54,895
only by bringing happiness to ourselves.
347
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:56,814
They're pretty good.
348
00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:59,733
Transcendentalists were philosophers
349
00:14:59,817 --> 00:15:02,986
who believed that our deepest connection
is with nature.
350
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,571
Meh.
351
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:13,789
I'm beautiful.
352
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,836
And then Georgie accuses me
of hating my job.
353
00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:21,237
Is this where I thought I'd end up?
354
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,297
No.
355
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:24,025
Is this where you thought you'd end up?
356
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,385
I thought I'd be working
in my father's funeral home,
357
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:27,970
sewing people's eyes shut.
358
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,346
My life turned out great.
359
00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:31,056
Well, good for you.
360
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,893
Worst part is, I think Georgie's right.
361
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,439
You're not happy at work?
362
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,232
I could see if my dad's hiring.
363
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,687
How are your sewing skills?
364
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:43,694
It's not work.
365
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:48,490
Honestly, I don't know
if I'm happy anywhere.
366
00:15:51,452 --> 00:15:52,453
Gosh.
367
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,663
When I asked y'all to hang for a drink,
368
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,874
I didn't know
you were gonna be such a bummer.
369
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,128
Jeez Louise.
370
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,143
Dr. Linkletter.
371
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,895
Sheldon, good to see you.
372
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:18,978
Come on in.
373
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,732
I don't suppose you're here
to discuss physics, are you?
374
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:22,900
As a matter of fact, I am.
375
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,109
Excellent.
376
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:26,945
I'm here to drop your class.
I just need you to sign this.
377
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,697
Have a seat.
378
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,494
Sheldon, I don't know
if you've thought this through,
379
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:35,013
but you're here on a
physics scholarship,
380
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:38,290
and switching to philosophy
may not be well-received.
381
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,376
Ordinarily, I'd be concerned,
but I'm currently embracing hedonism.
382
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,837
Sheldon, I've been made
responsible for you.
383
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:45,506
And so far, it's not going very well.
384
00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:48,300
You were admitted to this university
for your scientific acumen
385
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,178
and changing majors
could have serious repercussions.
386
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,056
Son, please try to understand.
387
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,016
If you abandon physics for philosophy,
388
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,684
you're gonna be missing out
389
00:16:57,768 --> 00:16:59,770
on the opportunity
to be part of something great.
390
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,981
As Dr. Linkletter prattled on,
391
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:06,777
I couldn't help but notice
the beauty of that ephemeral bubble.
392
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,780
I wondered if perhaps
we're all just bubbles
393
00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:12,908
being buffeted through life
on a stream of currents
394
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,826
beyond our understanding.
395
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:15,910
Look at it.
396
00:17:15,953 --> 00:17:19,164
The local minimization
achieves a global maximization
397
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,541
and it's nearly perfect.
398
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,459
I wondered if this was the key
399
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,263
to the smoothness
of matter in the universe.
400
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:28,549
The cosmic web of stars and galaxies
could hold it together
401
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,926
like the web of polymers in soap.
402
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,928
This could be
a whole new area of research.
403
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,640
Changing majors would be a huge mistake.
404
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,285
But if this is what you really want...
405
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,769
here you go.
406
00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:44,690
- Sheldon.
- What?
407
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:45,941
Here you go.
408
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,401
Good luck with philosophy.
409
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,861
Oh, I'm back on science now.
I have work to do.