1
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,800
[Timmy] You can't. There's no room.
2
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,802
No, come on, I can get one more.
3
00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:13,179
- [upbeat, festive music playing]
- Ooh!
4
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,514
[Timmy] Wow, you're a genius.
5
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:17,726
Just looking out for you and the business.
6
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:21,604
You spent all this money on everything,
might as well display it.
7
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,815
You gotta spend money to make money.
8
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:27,610
Plus it's not every day you get to put up
an elf peeing on the naughty list.
9
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,238
Reporting for Channel 12,
this is Remington Alexander
10
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,906
- back from vacation.
- Finally.
11
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,201
Today's top story
is the impending solar storm
12
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,871
threatening to knock out the Internet,
cell phone service,
13
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:39,706
and possibly the power grid.
14
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:43,126
It incited panic
and caused a rush on essential items...
15
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,711
So much fear mongering.
16
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:48,590
Maybe, but the solar storm is real.
It's why China built a second sun.
17
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:52,594
Between the solar storm and the metaverse,
I feel like it's coming out of both ends.
18
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,429
If I'm being totally honest,
19
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,681
I did buy 10 pounds
of loose seeds just in case.
20
00:00:56,765 --> 00:01:00,268
I heard the Internet might go down.
You aren't you worried about your Bitcoin?
21
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:03,104
I already converted it to Kohl's cash.
22
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,607
Stop. This is Y2K all over again.
23
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,358
They said computers would shut down,
24
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,611
my dad panicked
and printed out all his porn.
25
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:12,572
Nothing happened except
I had to use the other side of that porn
26
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:13,990
to print my essay on Gatsby.
27
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,034
The search for local
Sandwich Hell employee,
28
00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,244
Garrett Pennock, has taken a sexy turn...
29
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,039
All right, let's just focus
on the event. Okay?
30
00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:24,209
Someone who survived
the Gumdrop Avalanche once said,
31
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:27,962
"You must shine on,"
and that someone is Lil' Stevie.
32
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,547
I am confused.
33
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,633
[scoffs] I've explained it so many times.
34
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:34,552
People aren't renting enough DVDs
to keep the lights on,
35
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,513
so we're pivoting to more special events.
36
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:40,100
You trick nerds into paying
to meet a washed-up actor.
37
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:43,436
No, I understand that.
I'm confused about Patrice.
38
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,688
I called her
and she hasn't gotten back to me.
39
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,525
It's been two days,
and now I'm worried that she's mad at me.
40
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,568
She's been like this all morning.
41
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,904
Worried my new best friend is mad?
42
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:56,032
Yeah, I'm a real monster. Oh, Patrice!
43
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,994
Just me. Found a Christmas bow.
44
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,456
Sorry. You have terrible posture
just like Patrice.
45
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,250
[bones cracking]
46
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,419
[theme music playing]
47
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:14,259
I have never seen
so many people here before.
48
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,970
Except for that one time
someone claimed they saw Bono.
49
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:17,887
That was me.
50
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,349
Somebody left a pair of tinted sunglasses
on a pumpkin.
51
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:24,686
I think I finally figured out
how to run this business.
52
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:28,231
The pre-sales from this event alone
will pay my rent for the next two months,
53
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,900
and a new spatula for the bathroom key.
54
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,902
Never underestimate nostalgia.
55
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:36,281
Nothing thrills people more
than knowing their memory still works.
56
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:40,785
So, Lena, I was wondering...
57
00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:44,789
Well, you like me, and I like you...
58
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,083
- I know labels are for losers...
- [phone chimes]
59
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:51,421
Oh, no. My mom thinks she saw a shoplifter
and she's going to handle things her way.
60
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,089
Sorry, I better get there.
61
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,173
Of course. Right.
62
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:02,098
Did I tell you that my community
college offers classes at night?
63
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,350
What? Everything's coming up Hannah.
64
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,562
- The world is your oyster.
- I could even major in oysters.
65
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,980
[laughing]
66
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:12,609
So I have a little secret.
67
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:13,692
Okay.
68
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,447
Eliza's husband Aaron
69
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:21,075
is going to re-propose to her
in here tonight.
70
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,453
Really? I thought that marriage
was a little rocky.
71
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,748
Well, that's why I told him
he needs a grand gesture.
72
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,792
Things might be more complicated
than you think.
73
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:33,671
Trust me, people always come to me
about matters of the heart.
74
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,633
Fine. Aaron came in
to get Eliza's schedule,
75
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,594
and then I think he just told me
because he's bad at small talk.
76
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:43,556
I might also have news pretty soon
that's gonna blow your mind.
77
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,184
Ooh! Please will you film
the proposal for us.
78
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:50,897
Ideally, it would be as cinematic as...
Pitch Perfect 2.
79
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,941
Come on. Please.
80
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:56,819
Eh, might as well have me pitch in
while you can still afford me, Toots.
81
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,112
What? I can't pay.
82
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,907
- No, I know. I was gonna do it for free.
- Okay.
83
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:04,035
Wow! Oh, my God.
Look at all these weirdos.
84
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,204
It's definitely more Garfield sweatshirts
85
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,332
- than I'm used to in a day.
- [laughs] All these lives going sideways.
86
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,877
Standing in the cold
for a 25-year-old Christmas movie.
87
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:17,257
No, I take that back.
They're not weirdos. They're geekers.
88
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,510
- I heard that. You laughed.
- Barely.
89
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,430
- You think I'm funny, don't you?
- Funny adjacent. Okay?
90
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,520
Wow, looks like the North Pole in here.
91
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,147
Except less elf scat.
Huge problem up there.
92
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,149
Oh. [exclaims]
93
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,360
Mistletoe. Could you imagine us kissing?
94
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,237
Like, how weird would that be?
95
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,990
Like, there's you and there's me
and our lips,
96
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:46,411
and did you know that lips are technically
a mucous membrane and not skin?
97
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,664
Huh, I did not know that or want to.
98
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,250
He's here! Lil' Stevie's here.
99
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,626
- [Timmy] Hey.
- Sorry I'm late.
100
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,379
This dang solar storm stuff
has me screwed up.
101
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:59,632
Also, I'm an adult now
so you can call me just Stevie.
102
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:04,345
Just Stevie gets it.
But, guess what else! We sold out.
103
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,265
- Really?
- Wait. You sold out the event?
104
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,852
It's just that I retired from acting.
105
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:13,521
I haven't been in front of a crowd
in over a decade.
106
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:17,233
- What if they're here to make fun of me?
- What? No. People love you.
107
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,069
Just do what Lil' Stevie did in the movie
108
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,322
when he danced
in front of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
109
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,991
Just give yourself a big hug
for confidence.
110
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,200
Okay, sure.
111
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,603
We'll go warm up the crowd
while you give yourself that hug.
112
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,497
- [Stevie] I can't wait.
- It'll be awesome.
113
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,850
- Okay.
- [Hannah] I'm so excited.
114
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,634
- It's gonna be so cool.
- [Hannah] Sold out!
115
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,170
Oh, a hug.
116
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:41,674
Mm!
117
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,510
[Timmy]
All right. Who wants to meet Lil' Stevie?
118
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,556
You don't sound that excited.
119
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,143
That's more like it. Okay.
120
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:56,147
How about we start
with a little movie trivia contest.
121
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:59,942
- Winner gets this Truman Show key chain.
- Uh-oh!
122
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,652
- [crowd] Ooh!
- [Timmy chuckles]
123
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,613
All right, first question.
124
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,074
Besides But I'm Too Young to be Santa,
125
00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:10,328
name another movie
directed by Roman Polanski.
126
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,080
- [Eliza] Oh!
- [crowd exclaims]
127
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,403
- [Stevie] Whoa!
- [crowd gasps]
128
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,582
[Stevie] Hi.
129
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,086
- Yeah!
- [crowd cheering, clapping]
130
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,671
You were supposed to go around.
Not through.
131
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:21,756
Football!
132
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,677
Uh... Hey, Stevie.
Why don't you say your catchphrase?
133
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,596
Yeah, sure.
134
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,765
[as Fat Albert] Hey, hey, hey.
135
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,558
[as Urkel] Did I do that?
136
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,186
- [as Mr. T] I pity the fool!
- Okay. Stop it.
137
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:38,648
You're almost pathologically
doing catchphrases of Black characters.
138
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,441
It's "But I'm too young to be Santa."
139
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:41,984
[whispers] That's right. Thank you.
140
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,947
But I'm too young to be Santa!
141
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,244
- He's drunk.
- Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
142
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,662
Okay.
143
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:57,333
Dude, you gotta pull it together.
Hey, no more drinking, okay?
144
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:01,295
Be normal, and stop telling people
why you were banned from Cameo.
145
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,463
Never.
146
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,132
Ho-ho-ho!
147
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,051
Happy Hanukkah to a child.
148
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,053
What can I do for you?
149
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,222
How are you? Is this your wife?
150
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,808
- I'm messing. I'm busting your balls, kid.
- [Timmy] Okay.
151
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,269
You look like my favorite actress,
Angela Racks.
152
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:19,647
Whoa, buddy.
Santa just complimented your mom.
153
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,482
- Pretty cool.
- [Stevie] Yeah, he did.
154
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:25,445
Angela Racks was a porn star in the '70s.
She invented the modern-day gangbang.
155
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:28,823
She was a true pioneer.
You forgot your DVD. Ah!
156
00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,092
- Okay, no.
- [mother] Damn it!
157
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,577
He meant "corn" star. She did commercials
158
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,972
- for the Iowa Department of Agriculture.
- [Stevie] Goodbye.
159
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,207
Who doesn't call shucking corn
with your friends a gangbang?
160
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,334
[Stevie] Me, Santa doesn't.
161
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,296
We reduced the signed DVDs to 20 bucks.
162
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,755
You can't leave empty-handed.
163
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,591
That's not the Lil' Stevie I remember.
164
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,234
That man wouldn't race around the globe
165
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,761
to find the cure
for Rudolph's testicular cancer.
166
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:55,057
[Stevie] I meant pornography,
I don't know what he's talking about.
167
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,767
[phone chimes]
168
00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:58,936
- Take it.
- Ouch.
169
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,354
It's room temperature.
170
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,065
Oh, wow. Congrats, kid.
171
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,735
You're about to witness
the launch of my Hollywood career.
172
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,820
"The Emerging Filmmakers Fellow..."
173
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:11,824
I didn't get in.
174
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,868
I can't believe I didn't get in.
175
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,288
That was mine.
176
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,333
Hey, how many refunds have you processed?
177
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:25,087
Do you want to know the exact number?
Because it might give you a heart attack.
178
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,841
Where'd everybody go?
179
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,010
Everybody left because of you.
180
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:34,514
Event's canceled.
Please, get the hell out of here.
181
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:38,559
Well, I would, but I'm pretty drunk.
It's not a moral thing.
182
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,979
It's just, my car has a little tube
you gotta blow into...
183
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:42,939
Stop talking!
184
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,899
[mumbling] Stop talking.
185
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:51,364
Uh, hey, you can all still buy food
and rent videos if you want.
186
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,449
No sense coming all this way and...
187
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:58,079
What the hell is going on?
188
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,047
- [Hannah] Wow.
- [Timmy] Great. The solar storm.
189
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:11,425
Told you there would be one.
No one ever believes Hannah.
190
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,669
[Timmy sighs] I need a drink.
191
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:19,267
The solar storm caused Internet
and cell service to crash indefinitely.
192
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,352
Tensions mount as incidents of looting
193
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,813
have been reported
all across Menominee County...
194
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,273
We're the Jingle Bills.
195
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,441
Okay.
196
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,652
Hannah said we could wait in here.
197
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,696
Oh, for Aaron's proposal, right.
198
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:35,366
Because nothing says "romance"
like a band of lonely stepdads.
199
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,827
Stepdad? I wish.
200
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:41,038
Are you going to film it?
Hannah says you're the next Nancy Meyers.
201
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:44,667
That is not a compliment
and I'm not a filmmaker, apparently.
202
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,461
Maybe Hannah should film it herself.
203
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,171
Here's my camera.
204
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,592
Tell her to read the instructions.
It's easy. She got into community college.
205
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,718
That's amazing.
206
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,554
Everyone gets into community college.
Everyone.
207
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,851
The Wi-Fi went out right
as I crossed a river in Oregon Trail...
208
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:05,104
Bup-bup-bup! Let me introduce you
to the currency of our new world.
209
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,982
- I didn't stock up.
- Of course you didn't.
210
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:11,152
- That'll be $5 a roll.
- Kayla will you call Patrice for me?
211
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:14,697
Call her yourself, or better yet,
walk next door and talk to her.
212
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:18,117
Oh, no. I don't want to seem pushy.
You know how relationships are.
213
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,745
One false move,
this is Sylvia all over again.
214
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,288
I can't lose Patrice.
215
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,415
Can I use your landline?
Cells aren't working.
216
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,709
Can you look up my mom's number?
I don't know it.
217
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,669
Oh, my God. All of you shut up.
218
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,380
- What did I do?
- Will you call Patrice?
219
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,841
- What's a Patrice?
- Have you seen Timmy?
220
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:36,719
He's probably taking a victory lap,
like at the Daytona 500.
221
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,805
When a car crashes and burns,
it takes a victory lap in flames.
222
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:40,973
This is serious.
223
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,518
When Timmy gets down on himself,
he really needs someone, usually me,
224
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,396
to bring his spirits up
or he starts spiraling...
225
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,065
I've got toilet paper to sell.
226
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,487
Timmy fails again.
Who am I kidding? I suck at business.
227
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,364
Don't be so hard on yourself.
228
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,368
- And drinking apparently.
- [laughs] Aw.
229
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,330
You know, when I was a kid,
230
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,749
my mom never put out a ton
of Christmas decorations,
231
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:11,379
but we did have this one reindeer,
and every year she would put it out
232
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,006
and every year neighborhood kids stole it.
233
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,008
I'd always convince her to buy a new one,
234
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,636
but eventually
she just stopped putting anything out.
235
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:21,013
Well, those kids sound like assholes.
236
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,933
They were.
But at what point do you just give up?
237
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:27,937
I kept the last Blockbuster open
after corporate folded.
238
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,189
This store is my reindeer.
239
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,441
Maybe it is.
240
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:36,237
But what I like most about you
is that you're the type of person
241
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,864
who will never stop
buying another reindeer.
242
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,574
Mm. You mean an idiot?
243
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,493
No, an optimist.
244
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,621
Watch it, nobody calls
my boyfriend an idiot.
245
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,290
Oh, great.
The girl that I like has a boy...
246
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:53,629
- Are you talking about me?
- Yes, you are my boyfriend.
247
00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:01,303
Hey. Do you remember when you were little
and had colic, we would stay up
248
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,223
and watch Celebrity Grappling
until you fell asleep?
249
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,016
Do I remember being an infant?
250
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,144
So, no.
251
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:11,105
Anyway, Lil' Stevie was on it.
252
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,149
I didn't recognize him
with the Santa beard,
253
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,736
but he tried to poke Cheech Marin
in the eye with a stick.
254
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,195
How cool is that?
255
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,573
The guy from our show.
256
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,782
It's not our show.
257
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:22,742
You're just as lame
258
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,453
as the other dorks
that came for Lil' Stevie.
259
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:26,871
What's up with you?
260
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:29,790
I thought we were
kind of, sort of getting along again.
261
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,834
Yeah, well. Swing and a miss.
262
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,254
The legend.
263
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,465
The manhole cover himself.
264
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,717
[vocalizing]
265
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,178
[Hannah]
This proposal is going to be so good.
266
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,637
[Jingle Bill 1] Sure is.
267
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:46,182
Wait, so you're all actually named Bill?
268
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,727
Yeah, we have to be named Bill to join.
It's tradition.
269
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:53,522
- My name used to be Tracy.
- [gasps] I did it.
270
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:55,274
Hmm.
271
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,197
I think I just designed my first shot.
272
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,281
[squeals]
273
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:08,954
Thank God I found you.
274
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:09,872
Oh, hey.
275
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,958
Hey, I know today's been kind of a lot,
276
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,337
and I figured you probably
needed somebody to...
277
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,380
Two tequila and Sprites.
278
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,132
Oh, Lena.
279
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,592
- Hey.
- Hey!
280
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,094
Great.
281
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:28,098
I was worried that you were here
drinking yourself to death alone.
282
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,937
I fully expected to have to
pick you up off the floor.
283
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:37,900
But I guess this is a whole new Timmy,
284
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,193
and that's...
285
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,277
that's great.
286
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,323
Eliza, your hair looks fantastic.
287
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,076
Thank you. Yours is hair too.
288
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,995
- [car horns honking]
- [tires screeching]
289
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,084
[man] Yeah! Move forward!
290
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,420
[honking continues]
291
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,048
[Timmy] What the hell is going on?
292
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,886
Hey, Blockbuster
carries kids videos, right?
293
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:06,846
I'm desperate.
294
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,556
Yeah, of course, games too.
295
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,724
[Eliza] Oh, my God!
Streaming services are down.
296
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:14,270
The solar storm knocked out the Internet,
without it, people are gonna need...
297
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,353
DVDs.
298
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:19,024
Blockbuster's the only game in town.
You're sitting on a goldmine, Timmy.
299
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,108
Lena, you're right.
300
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,527
I was just saying that.
301
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,988
What if we triple the prices of sequels?
302
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,782
These nerds will pay anything
to see if Iron Man dies.
303
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,659
Whoa. Success really changes you.
304
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:31,245
I told you buying another reindeer
was a good idea.
305
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,454
I'm a reindeer man.
306
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,499
I don't get the joke.
307
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,626
Yay!
308
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,588
["Then He Kissed Me" playing]
309
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,673
You're gonna want the sequel to that.
310
00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:46,886
Not sure you're old enough to rent that.
It's rated F for fantastic.
311
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,554
Oh, Shaq is great in that.
312
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,225
Timmy, you are cleaning up.
313
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,645
I just saw someone rent
a Jimmy Fallon movie. On purpose.
314
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,939
I knew one day
people would abandon streaming
315
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:02,067
and return to the superior format of DVD.
316
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:06,447
Sure, it was by force, but I'll take it.
317
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:10,242
Didn't think people
were still doing public tongue action.
318
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,328
Yep. It's pretty gross.
319
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:16,123
Oh, Eliza, I need your help
in the break room to...
320
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,959
- Great. Happy to get away from this.
- Oh, good.
321
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,211
I forgot to invent a reason why.
322
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,172
[Connie] We're only accepting cash.
323
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,300
- Credit cards will be rejected.
- [Kayla] Here you go.
324
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:27,384
[Connie] Rejected.
325
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:34,224
Like how Patrice rejected me.
Le sigh. That's what she always said.
326
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,644
Can you pull yourself together?
We have customers.
327
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,228
I mean, I don't care.
328
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,732
- Patrice.
- You know what, Connie?
329
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:42,983
If you were so mad at me,
330
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,736
you could've just told me
instead of never calling me back.
331
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,155
And to think I planned
this huge surprise for us.
332
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:51,617
What? But I was the last one to call you.
333
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,743
Were you?
334
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:53,826
Was I?
335
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,706
I thought you died, or worse, hated me.
336
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:01,543
That sounds crazy,
but I value our friendship that much.
337
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,627
Me too.
338
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,968
Wait. What surprise did you plan?
339
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,552
Mon amie...
340
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,722
I'm taking you to Paris...
341
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,975
Hotel in Las Vegas.
342
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,477
Please tell me they have a buffet.
343
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,062
They have deux.
344
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,609
I know we have The Jungle Cruise.
345
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,237
There's copies in the back. Give me a sec.
346
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,030
Anything with The Rock in it.
347
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:34,243
Something for the kids,
and for Mommy when she's in the tub later.
348
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,705
You might want to skip
the Paul Giamatti scenes, tub wise.
349
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:38,788
Or I might not.
350
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,710
Here we are. [whispers] Bills, go.
351
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:49,008
♪ Can somebody tell me
How to get things back ♪
352
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:53,679
♪ The way they used to be? ♪
353
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:57,391
♪ Oh, God, give me a reason ♪
354
00:16:57,474 --> 00:17:02,521
♪ I'm down on bended knee ♪
355
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,772
Oh, my God.
356
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,901
Goose... I know I've made mistakes.
357
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:11,905
But I love you more
than anything on this Earth,
358
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,657
and I want to prove it to you.
359
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,741
So...
360
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,327
Um... [clears throat]
361
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,622
What do you say
we put our past behind us for good?
362
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:25,669
Will you make me the happiest man
in the world, and remarry me?
363
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,883
No.
364
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:34,969
I'm sorry?
365
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,808
Should we still do
"I'll Make Love To You"?
366
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,734
What? No, Jungle Cruise?
367
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,444
Oh, no. We're out.
368
00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,447
Um, I'll see you later.
369
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,533
Looking forward to our date, boyfriend.
370
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,117
Me too, Eliza.
371
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:03,624
Um, not Eliza. I meant Lena. Lena.
372
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,543
Yeah, Lena.
373
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,838
I think I'm getting the full picture here.
374
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,841
- Just... Wait, I...
- Maybe we should cancel tonight.
375
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,718
No, come on. Lena.
376
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,428
This seems like a bad time,
377
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:20,599
I know, but I'm looking for a movie
about a pig, but not Babe.
378
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,434
It's too big a city.
379
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,645
- I...
- Okay.
380
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:34,613
Dude, you can't smoke in here.
What are you doing?
381
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,907
[Stevie] Come on. Be cool, man.
382
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,409
Whatever, do what you want. I don't care.
383
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:44,039
[laughs] Oh, man, was it a mistake
for me to come here.
384
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:48,168
I'm a joke.
People just came here to make fun of me.
385
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,588
They're all, "Let's all laugh
at the sad guy with rosacea
386
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:55,509
who once got escorted
off the Nash Bridges set by cop extras."
387
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:56,927
I know what you mean.
388
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,138
I mean, not specifically that but...
389
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,766
I just found out
I didn't get into this film program
390
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,060
which had been my lifelong dream.
391
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,062
Didn't even consider I could get rejected.
392
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:11,150
You want to know something, kid?
Hollywood is filled with rejection.
393
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,111
Even Speven Stielberg
got rejected from USC.
394
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,864
You think I got
But I'm Too Young to be Santa
395
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,240
on the first try?
396
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,827
No. Their first choice
died in a grape juice commercial.
397
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,539
Hollywood crushes dreams. Okay?
398
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,499
Welcome to the club, kid.
399
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,543
You're a Hollywood filmmaker now.
400
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,254
Huh.
401
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,715
- Thanks, man.
- You're welcome.
402
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,508
Okay, good night.
403
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,386
Hannah, can we get some water?
404
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:41,597
It's really a no?
405
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,059
Can the Jingle Ballers
not be here for this?
406
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,186
Jingle Bills.
407
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,480
You still owe us the other half.
408
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,441
Can we settle this later, Bill?
409
00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:59,573
I gotta be honest,
I did not see this coming.
410
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,992
I thought I've been
doing everything right.
411
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,075
You have been.
412
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:08,457
But doing a bunch of little things right
413
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,376
doesn't cancel out
the big thing you did wrong.
414
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,462
That's what this is about.
415
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,213
No.
416
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,801
Not entirely, I don't think.
417
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,222
It's not like we didn't have
problems before you cheated,
418
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,891
that was probably why you cheated.
419
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,310
I don't know how to respond to that.
420
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,396
This, us...
421
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:35,984
it just doesn't feel right anymore.
422
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,862
It was one thing
when we were giving it a go for Ali,
423
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,448
but she's an adult now with her own life.
424
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:45,827
And we owe it to her
and to ourselves to...
425
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,038
try to be happy.
426
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:51,458
But what if being with you makes me happy?
427
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,502
I have feelings for someone else.
428
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,419
What?
429
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:57,214
Since when?
430
00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:58,465
I don't know.
431
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,970
Maybe a few weeks, maybe...
432
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,429
Timmy?
433
00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:10,102
I'm sorry.
434
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:13,187
I have to go.
435
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,254
- [woman 1] What are you doing?
- [woman 2] Give me that.
436
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,781
Get your hands off my Snow Buddies.
We have a long drive home.
437
00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:25,993
That is the only thing keeping my kids
from chewing through their seat belts.
438
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:30,289
Hey, there's plenty other movies
that kids love, like... Unfaithful.
439
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,873
Diane Lane is electric in this.
440
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,543
I need Snow Buddies for my kids.
They're "snow" cool.
441
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:36,169
Hey, we need to talk.
442
00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,754
- Now's not the best time.
- I know.
443
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,299
But what you saw back there
made me realize something,
444
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:42,467
and it's really important
I say it out loud.
445
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,719
Hey, man.
446
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:47,055
You probably get this a whole lot
but I'm a big fan.
447
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,474
Celebrity Grappling
got me through some tough times.
448
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:50,892
Would you mind signing this?
449
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:54,104
And what was it like
to scissor kick Emmanuel Lewis?
450
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:57,441
Hilarious. That's not a chapter
of my life I'm proud of.
451
00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:01,570
I only did it because I was low on cash
and me and Emmanuel have beef. Excuse me.
452
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,405
- Thank you. Okay.
- Hey. Hey.
453
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,324
- Excuse me, man.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
454
00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:09,494
- I will give you $100 for this DVD.
- I'll give you the contents of my purse.
455
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,955
Could be nothing of value
or several things of value.
456
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:13,040
Storage Wars style.
457
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:15,003
- [Timmy] Yeah, no thank you.
- [Percy] Come on.
458
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:17,169
Don't be like that.
You can't be embarrassed.
459
00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:20,672
You are the man who grappled
the hell out of Tonya Harding.
460
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:22,174
And she deserved that.
461
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:25,010
I get it. This is a roast.
You're roasting me.
462
00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:27,387
Timmy. We've known each other so long,
463
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:30,974
and I want to end the pattern...
I'm tired of having doubts.
464
00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:33,393
- No need for violence.
- Let me have it!
465
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:35,854
I don't want to talk about
Celebrity Grappling, okay?
466
00:22:35,937 --> 00:22:39,524
If you want to talk about one of my films
in the Lil' Stevie Cinematic Universe,
467
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:40,692
I would love that.
468
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:45,197
Hey, I'm not one of those inbred dogs
from earlier, I'm a real fan.
469
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,032
You are making fun of me!
470
00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:49,117
[rock music playing]
471
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:51,201
- [Timmy] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- [customers screaming]
472
00:22:51,244 --> 00:22:52,371
[Timmy] What's happening?
473
00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:00,045
Hey, come on, no. Guys.
474
00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:02,464
Not Buscemi.
475
00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:04,049
Stop, please.
476
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:05,801
[groans]
477
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:08,470
Where's Thimble?
478
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:09,805
[Timmy] Come on, please stop.
479
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,974
Hey, that's my whole week
you got in your hands, man.
480
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:14,893
Not cool, bro.
481
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,647
I can't die a virgin.
482
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,232
Who are all these people?
483
00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:22,484
I'm Tad from Ohio. I'm a Scorpio.
484
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:30,867
To hell with Blockbuster!
485
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:37,582
So, on the bright side,
you got pretty riled up
486
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,876
when Lil' Stevie sucker punched me,
487
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,672
almost as if you kind of cared
about your old dad.
488
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:46,258
- Of course I do.
- [chuckles]
489
00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:48,677
Why did you get so pissed earlier?
490
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,845
Out of nowhere.
491
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:52,305
When I thought things were good for us.
492
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:55,642
Because I care about this stupid place
for some reason,
493
00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:58,937
and I was mad
when Stevie was ruining everything and...
494
00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:00,730
I took it out on you
495
00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:03,525
'cause they say you take things out
on those closest to you.
496
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,153
And I guess that's you or whatever.
497
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:07,362
Or whatever.
498
00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:12,284
You know something?
499
00:24:13,493 --> 00:24:16,705
That right there
was the best part of my year.
500
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:21,126
["Cool Again" playing]
501
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:35,515
♪ I feel like this is a bad one
Racked up too many mistakes... ♪
502
00:24:37,017 --> 00:24:41,938
It's gonna be okay. We can clean up.
Get everyone to pitch in and we'll keep...
503
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:43,190
What's the point?
504
00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:48,820
I put everything I had
into this cursed monkey paw of a store
505
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,448
because it's the only place
that's ever felt like home.
506
00:24:51,531 --> 00:24:54,201
The only place
I ever felt like I belonged,
507
00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:56,953
and it's not either
of those things anymore.
508
00:24:57,037 --> 00:25:00,790
There's a reason
over 9,000 Blockbusters have closed.
509
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:03,752
I was an idiot to think
this would be different.
510
00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:07,422
I'm done.
511
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,216
Done caring about anything.
512
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:11,218
I'm not buying another reindeer.
513
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,850
I still don't know what that means.
514
00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:24,856
[Aaron on video] Timmy?
515
00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:26,732
[Eliza] I'm sorry.
516
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:28,235
Oh, my God.
517
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:34,533
♪ Had my heart for over three years
Don't think you understand ♪
518
00:25:34,616 --> 00:25:39,621
♪ Probably take double that to see clear
Keeping up, being part of my plan ♪
519
00:25:39,704 --> 00:25:44,084
♪ Oh, you don't know ♪
520
00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:47,504
♪ How this goes ♪
521
00:25:47,587 --> 00:25:50,131
♪ If I'm being honest, yeah ♪
522
00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:55,512
♪ It might take a little longer
For us to be cool again ♪
523
00:25:55,595 --> 00:26:01,434
♪ It might take a little longer
For us to be cool again ♪
524
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:04,104
♪ I know I said
We'll be fine ♪
525
00:26:04,187 --> 00:26:06,565
♪ But that was then
And it's a lie ♪
526
00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:12,612
♪ It might take a little longer
For us to be cool, cool, again ♪