1
00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:05,849
A simile directly compares two things,
2
00:00:05,850 --> 00:00:08,639
using the words "like" and "as."
3
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,679
"I slept like a log."
4
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,019
"I'm hungry as a horse."
5
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:15,229
"Your love is like bad medicine."
6
00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:16,389
Exactly.
7
00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:17,679
That's Bon Jovi.
8
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,309
Okay.
9
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:20,889
His hair is awesome.
10
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,289
Moving on.
11
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:25,889
Metaphors are different from similes.
12
00:00:25,890 --> 00:00:27,309
[SNEEZES]
13
00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:30,389
ADULT SHELDON: I've been
called a germophobe,
14
00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:33,519
but I do find a single
sneeze acceptable.
15
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,109
It could be caused by dust, allergies...
16
00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:39,109
Really, whatever nasal
irritant floats your boat.
17
00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:41,080
However...
18
00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:43,340
during flu season...
19
00:00:46,370 --> 00:00:49,009
a second sneeze means a
plague is upon the land,
20
00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:50,670
and it's every man for himself.
21
00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:54,409
Where do you think you're going?
22
00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:55,739
Away from you.
23
00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:56,829
Why's that?
24
00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:58,499
I want to live.
25
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:01,329
I'm not sick. Get back in your seat.
26
00:01:01,330 --> 00:01:02,830
No, thank you.
27
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,760
You know the rules.
28
00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:06,689
You can't leave without a hall pass.
29
00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:08,829
May I have a hall pass?
30
00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:10,279
No, you may not.
31
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,239
Now get back in your seat.
32
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,940
ADULT SHELDON: Rules are
the pillars of society.
33
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,110
I love rules.
34
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,370
But what benefit are
rules to a dead man?
35
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,980
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
36
00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:25,770
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
37
00:01:25,780 --> 00:01:28,270
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
38
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,209
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
39
00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:37,680
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
40
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,470
Excuse me.
41
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,100
Do I look like I'm getting sick to you?
42
00:01:48,110 --> 00:01:50,510
You look a little pale.
43
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,060
Okay, good, that's normal.
44
00:01:53,270 --> 00:01:56,880
Now, I understand Sheldon
is an exceptional child,
45
00:01:56,890 --> 00:01:58,210
all right, but when he
46
00:01:58,220 --> 00:02:00,090
willfully disobeys
the order of a teacher,
47
00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:02,289
there needs to be
some consequences here.
48
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,540
Oh, we couldn't agree more.
49
00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:06,279
What kind of punishment
are you thinking?
50
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,800
Well, Mary, in a case like
this, a few days of detention.
51
00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:11,760
Really? That seems a little harsh.
52
00:02:11,770 --> 00:02:13,840
Oh, detention's no big deal.
53
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:17,510
Now, my principal used to
whup my ass with a paddle.
54
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,840
That got my attention.
55
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:21,840
Oh, yeah. Those were the days.
56
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,260
Still have mine.
57
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:27,849
Ah.
58
00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:29,529
Ol' Spanky.
59
00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:31,210
[CHUCKLES]: Whoa.
60
00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:34,339
- Got a real nice grip on that thing.
- Yeah, George.
61
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:37,289
Had the equipment manager over
at the Astros make this for me.
62
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,510
The holes in it...
63
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,609
cut down on wind resistance.
64
00:02:41,610 --> 00:02:42,869
Smart.
65
00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:45,729
But these days you have
to have a consent form
66
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,380
to whack the kids.
67
00:02:47,390 --> 00:02:50,380
I don't know where this world's headed.
68
00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:53,329
You ought to get one of those
for when Georgie acts up.
69
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:55,679
Like you never thought
about going upside his head
70
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,060
with a slab of wood.
71
00:02:58,340 --> 00:03:01,340
You know, there was a time
this thing gave me tennis elbow.
72
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,060
[SNEEZES]
73
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,720
[CONTINUES BLOWING NOSE]
74
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,130
Okay, Sheldon, come o...
75
00:03:18,140 --> 00:03:20,369
Where'd he go?
76
00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:21,659
Thataway.
77
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,920
♪ ♪
78
00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:24,050
[SNEEZES]
79
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,800
[COUGHING]
80
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:28,980
[SNEEZING AND COUGHING CONTINUE]
81
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:37,970
♪ Well, I'm running ♪
82
00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:39,870
♪ Police on my back ♪
83
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,170
♪ I've been hiding ♪
84
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,039
- ♪ Police on my back ♪
- [GRUNTING]
85
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,919
♪ There was a shooting ♪
86
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,290
♪ Police on my back ♪
87
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,880
♪ And the victim ♪
88
00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:49,630
♪ Well, he won't come back ♪
89
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,499
What you doing, kid?!
90
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,349
- ♪ Tuesday, Wednesday ♪
- [GRUNTING]
91
00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:56,239
♪ Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday ♪
92
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,380
[GRUNTING]
93
00:03:57,390 --> 00:03:59,510
ADULT SHELDON: Enjoy this. It is, by far,
94
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,260
the most athletic two
minutes of my entire life.
95
00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:04,050
♪ What have I done? ♪
96
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:08,590
♪ What have I done? ♪
97
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,129
[MEEMAW LAUGHING]
98
00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:11,550
It's not funny.
99
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,880
Oh, come on, now.
100
00:04:12,890 --> 00:04:15,880
Sheldon in detention... That's funny.
101
00:04:15,890 --> 00:04:17,919
I actually think it'd be good for him.
102
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,880
He needs to learn he's not special.
103
00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:21,589
But he is special.
104
00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:23,590
You know what I mean. He can't just
105
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,760
walk out of a classroom
'cause he feels like it.
106
00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,369
He was worried about catching a cold.
107
00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:29,170
That is a legitimate concern.
108
00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:31,330
And now he's in danger of being mugged
109
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:33,510
by a roomful of hoodlums.
110
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,339
He's not getting mugged.
111
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,299
It's half a dozen kids doing homework
112
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:38,799
while a teacher watches 'em.
113
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,279
Although it might not hurt
to give Sheldon a few dollars
114
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:42,930
to buy himself some protection.
115
00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:45,850
That's actually not a bad idea.
116
00:04:51,270 --> 00:04:53,510
[GRUNTS, COUGHS]
117
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:54,739
What are you doing?
118
00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:56,090
Nothing.
119
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,590
Is that chewing tobacco?
120
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,920
It's chocolate Bazooka.
What do you want?
121
00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:02,880
I have detention tomorrow,
122
00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:05,050
and I thought you
could give me some tips.
123
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:07,840
That was pretty badass, you
walking out of class like that.
124
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,419
It was not my intention to be
bad "A" word, but thank you.
125
00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:14,320
The only thing you need
to worry about in detention
126
00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:15,970
is staying close to the teacher.
127
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:18,510
If he leaves the room, you go with him.
128
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,010
Why?
129
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,510
'Cause you're gonna get
your "A" word kicked.
130
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,840
Are you saying I'll
be in physical danger?
131
00:05:25,850 --> 00:05:27,679
It's all the worst kids in school
132
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,369
in one room for an hour.
133
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,359
What do you think's gonna happen?
134
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,169
I thought we were gonna spend
the time regretting our actions
135
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:37,050
and thinking about how we
could be better in the future.
136
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:39,430
Well, you thought wrong. Get lost.
137
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,099
You're both mean and nice to me.
138
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,020
It's confusing.
139
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,910
[GAGS]
140
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:54,719
Maybe I'm doing this wrong.
141
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,720
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
142
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,419
Have you ever been in detention?
143
00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:03,590
No.
144
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,800
But I do take the school bus.
145
00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,840
And that is no party.
146
00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:10,420
It's like a mental hospital on wheels.
147
00:06:10,430 --> 00:06:12,920
That's a good use of simile.
148
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,130
Thanks.
149
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,870
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
150
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,389
I hope.
151
00:06:21,390 --> 00:06:22,470
[DOOR CLOSES]
152
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,560
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
- [FOOTSTEPS RAPIDLY DEPARTING]
153
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:35,420
Hello. I'm here for detention.
154
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:37,550
Where is the teacher?
155
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,550
Not here yet.
156
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,190
Oh.
157
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,229
I have three dollars.
158
00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,070
Feel free to share it with the others.
159
00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:02,250
Would you prefer a piece of paper?
160
00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:03,990
I have some in my briefcase.
161
00:07:05,730 --> 00:07:07,609
It's here if you change your mind.
162
00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:09,969
All right, losers, you
know how this works.
163
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:12,500
One hour, no talking, no horseplay.
164
00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:13,910
Sheldon?
165
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,500
Hello, Mr. Givens.
166
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:16,759
Why are you here?
167
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,210
I didn't want to catch
a cold from Ms. MacElroy,
168
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,899
so I left her classroom
without a hall pass.
169
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,170
Well, something is going around.
170
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:26,710
I actually had a little
tickle in my throat.
171
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,290
Okay, time to go. Nice meeting you.
172
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:30,710
Whoa, what-what are you doing?
173
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,500
You've heard of fight or flight?
174
00:07:32,510 --> 00:07:33,830
This is flight.
175
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,499
Not so funny now, is it?
176
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,850
No. How long is he suspended for?
177
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:41,979
A week.
178
00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,970
And it goes on his permanent record.
179
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:45,620
Well, that's no big deal.
180
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:49,000
I had all kinds of stuff on my
permanent high school record.
181
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,400
Didn't stop me from being
a bartender for eight years.
182
00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:55,439
I think the real issue we need
to deal with is his germ phobia.
183
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,519
Oh, yes, you don't
184
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,250
want him turning into Howard Hughes.
185
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,170
Growing his nails out.
186
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,170
Peeing in a jar.
187
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,649
Why would he pee into a jar?
188
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,120
I don't know why he peed in a jar,
189
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:07,000
I just know he did.
190
00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:08,699
[SIGHS] I hate to say it,
191
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:10,620
but I think we need help with this.
192
00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:11,530
Like what?
193
00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:12,250
Maybe we could
194
00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:14,689
take him to that nice
doctor who calmed him down
195
00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:16,979
when he was convinced he
had an enlarged prostate?
196
00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,619
Sheldon only calmed down
when the doctor told him
197
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,730
what happens in a prostate exam.
198
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:22,110
Poor thing.
199
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,370
Still talks about it.
200
00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:28,980
Thank you for seeing us, Doctor.
201
00:08:28,990 --> 00:08:30,419
No problem.
202
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:33,500
So, what do you got today, Sheldon?
203
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:35,709
Rickets? Rabies?
204
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:37,760
Early-onset menopause?
205
00:08:37,770 --> 00:08:39,800
Is he making a joke?
206
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,080
I believe so.
207
00:08:41,090 --> 00:08:42,109
Humorous.
208
00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:43,060
Hmm.
209
00:08:43,061 --> 00:08:44,359
Sheldon's not sick,
210
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,109
but he has become overly
concerned with getting a cold
211
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,030
or the flu.
212
00:08:48,031 --> 00:08:49,440
Well, any symptoms...
213
00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:51,120
Runny nose, achy,
214
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,459
sore throat, fever?
215
00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:53,370
No.
216
00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:56,540
All right, well, Sheldon,
if you do catch a cold,
217
00:08:56,550 --> 00:09:00,120
or even the flu, it's...
it's not the end of the world.
218
00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:03,279
The flu was the end of the world
for half a million Americans
219
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,119
during the influenza epidemic of 1918.
220
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,760
- Really?
- In India
221
00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:09,709
17 million people died.
222
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:12,210
Okay, I think we're getting
off the subject. Doctor,
223
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,910
Sheldon is afraid to go to school
224
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,040
because he might get exposed
225
00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:17,629
to some kind of bacteria or virus.
226
00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:19,770
So he's got a phobia?
227
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:22,040
It's not a phobia if the threat is real.
228
00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:23,969
You're a doctor, you should know that.
229
00:09:23,970 --> 00:09:28,080
Sheldon, you have
nothing to worry about.
230
00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:29,960
Even if you did get the flu,
231
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,910
it's usually over in a week.
232
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,270
Why are we getting medical
advice from a man who smokes?
233
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,789
- Sheldon.
- O-Okay,
234
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:39,670
I have patients who are actually sick.
235
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,649
Maybe we should wrap this up.
236
00:09:41,650 --> 00:09:43,859
How come you don't
get sick all the time?
237
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:45,719
Well, I take precautions.
238
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,770
I wash my hands, I
wear gloves and a mask.
239
00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:02,760
So, Mom, how was your day?
240
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:06,949
We're ignoring this?
241
00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:08,470
Okay.
242
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:20,210
So pretty.
243
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,080
What's going on?
244
00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:24,540
I'm not feeling so good.
245
00:10:24,550 --> 00:10:26,000
[COUGHS LOUDLY]
246
00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:28,300
Biohazard! Biohazard!
247
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:31,210
Sucker.
248
00:10:31,220 --> 00:10:32,770
WOMAN [ON TV]: In national news,
249
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:36,880
an unusually early flu season
is buffeting the country.
250
00:10:36,890 --> 00:10:40,000
Doctors say the strain,
originating in China,
251
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:42,460
is particularly severe.
252
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:46,829
Children and the
elderly are most at risk.
253
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:49,039
Sheldon, why are you still up?
254
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,129
We're all gonna die!
255
00:10:51,130 --> 00:10:52,569
About the local cattle...
256
00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:53,910
This isn't funny!
257
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,370
I know, baby, I know.
258
00:10:56,380 --> 00:11:00,080
But you need to
understand that sometimes
259
00:11:00,090 --> 00:11:02,410
the news says those things
just to scare people.
260
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:03,879
Well, it's working!
261
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,999
Come here.
262
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,549
I know you don't believe in this,
263
00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:08,380
but I'm gonna do it anyway.
264
00:11:08,390 --> 00:11:10,170
[SIGHS]
265
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:13,290
Lord, I pray for my son Sheldon
266
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:16,190
that you protect him from
all illness and disease,
267
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,000
and keep him healthy and keep him safe,
268
00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:22,040
and protect him from
his head to his toes,
269
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:24,760
inside and out. Amen.
270
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,970
You're right. I don't believe in that.
271
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:34,750
But it did feel good. Thanks.
272
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,970
In the Bible, that's called
a hedge of protection.
273
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:41,960
Why do you keep smiling?
274
00:11:41,970 --> 00:11:44,690
You need to look at your mask, baby.
275
00:11:47,420 --> 00:11:49,010
SHELDON: Missy?!
276
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,320
We have to go to school,
and Sheldon doesn't?
277
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:56,179
- That's not fair.
- Sure it is.
278
00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:58,250
Sheldon loves school and can't go.
279
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,620
You hate school and have to. Fair.
280
00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:02,179
GEORGE SR.: He still has
281
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,980
to spend his day doing chores.
282
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,830
Can't sit around
playing with his trains.
283
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,170
Yeah, put him to work.
Good parenting, Dad.
284
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:09,929
Oh, I'm glad you approve.
285
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,799
I do.
286
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,929
Where you going?
287
00:12:13,930 --> 00:12:16,040
I'm gonna give Sheldon a list of chores.
288
00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:18,030
You're actually taking my advice?
289
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,030
Yes.
290
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,409
Well, how about that?
291
00:12:20,410 --> 00:12:23,710
Hey, you were due.
292
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,170
[DOOR CLOSES]
293
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:26,700
Proud of you, George.
294
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,040
Sheldon?
295
00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:38,370
Yes.
296
00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:40,990
The door's locked. Can you open it?
297
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,249
No.
298
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:45,190
What on earth?
299
00:12:56,130 --> 00:12:57,210
Hello.
300
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,409
What are you doing?
301
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:01,250
I made a real germ-proof
hedge of protection.
302
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:04,080
Oh, honey, you can't stay in there.
303
00:13:04,090 --> 00:13:07,250
I've got a refrigerator,
I've got my sleeping bag,
304
00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:10,120
and anything else I need
I can make out of Legos.
305
00:13:10,130 --> 00:13:12,920
What's with the Halloween costume?
306
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,540
In case of a breach.
307
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:21,040
Stay right there.
308
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,540
That's my plan.
309
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,060
George?
310
00:13:28,130 --> 00:13:30,960
Just when you think he's gonna zig,
311
00:13:30,970 --> 00:13:32,640
you get a big old zag.
312
00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:34,759
It's ridiculous. I'm...
I'm gonna take it down.
313
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,969
No, you can't force him out of a phobia.
314
00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:37,940
What do we do?
315
00:13:37,941 --> 00:13:39,139
He can't live in there.
316
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:40,239
Well, actually, he can.
317
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,830
He's got the refrigerator
and a sleeping bag.
318
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,040
And he can always go potty in the sink.
319
00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:48,289
I think I'll take the kids to school.
320
00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,670
I'm sure he'll be out
by the time you get home.
321
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,069
Not sure why you think that, but okay.
322
00:13:53,070 --> 00:13:54,219
Mom?
323
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:55,360
Yes, Shelly.
324
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:56,519
Can you close the door?
325
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,300
I need to use the sink.
326
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:05,120
[MEEMAW LAUGHS]
327
00:14:05,130 --> 00:14:06,960
- Tammy Cook?
- Here.
328
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:08,299
Georgie Cooper?
329
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,620
Here.
330
00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:12,120
Sheldon Cooper? Absent.
331
00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:13,530
Where's your brother?
332
00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:14,600
Home.
333
00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:15,650
Is he okay?
334
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:16,790
Yeah, he's just...
335
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,929
[BELL DINGS]
336
00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:20,759
Actually, it's not looking good for him.
337
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,469
He might not make it.
338
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,919
Oh, that's terrible.
339
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,250
I know.
340
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:27,460
I love him so much.
341
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:31,460
If anything ever happened,
I don't know what I'd do.
342
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:33,370
Aw.
343
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:41,269
MARY: Shelly, if you don't mind
344
00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:44,469
- me asking, what's your long-term plan here?
- I'm working
345
00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:46,029
on the math to turn the garage
346
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:48,259
into a self-sustaining ecosystem.
347
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:51,219
- Okay. And what exactly does that mean?
- Well, all I need
348
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:54,120
is sunlight and a few
seeds to grow unlimited food
349
00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:56,380
which I'll fertilize with my own feces.
350
00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:58,700
[LAUGHING]: This just gets better.
351
00:14:58,710 --> 00:15:00,959
If you're not gonna
help, please go inside.
352
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,549
This is not a show.
353
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:04,469
Now that's where I disagree.
354
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,980
- [SIGHS]
- [GIGGLES]
355
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:08,359
Shelly, baby, please come on out.
356
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,910
I can't.
357
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,620
Come on. I'm your mommy.
358
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:13,210
Do it for your mommy.
359
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:14,340
No.
360
00:15:14,350 --> 00:15:15,620
[SIGHS]
361
00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:17,120
But I'm your mommy.
362
00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:19,120
[LAUGHING]: Y'all are killing me.
363
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,830
[LAUGHING]
364
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,049
[SIGHS]
365
00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:23,250
[LAUGHING]: "I'm your mommy."
366
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:27,589
I think the saddest part
about it is just how sad it is.
367
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,719
Is there anything that we can do?
368
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,719
I don't know.
369
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,510
A hug might help.
370
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,120
Of course.
371
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:38,239
What's wrong with you two?
372
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,740
Don't you care about my brother?
373
00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:46,000
[FAKE CRYING]
374
00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:47,919
Aw.
375
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,919
[CRYING]: Oh, Sheldon.
376
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,120
That's it. I've had
enough of this nonsense.
377
00:15:54,130 --> 00:15:56,330
If you don't come out, I'm coming in!
378
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:58,590
One, two,
379
00:15:58,600 --> 00:15:59,619
three.
380
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:01,139
Breach! Breach!
381
00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:02,859
You come here right this instant!
382
00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:04,090
No.
383
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,639
Oh!
384
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,499
♪ That's great, it starts
with an earthquake ♪
385
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,419
Sheldon!
386
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:14,219
You can't run away from me forever.
387
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:17,129
I don't have to do it forever.
Just till you get tired.
388
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:18,270
MEEMAW: Mary,
389
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,899
I'm gonna run and go
get my video camera.
390
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:21,239
Don't catch him till I get back.
391
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,609
This is not a joke!
392
00:16:22,610 --> 00:16:24,399
Sheldon, get over here!
393
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,779
- ♪ It's the end of the world ♪
- [MEEMAW LAUGHS]
394
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:28,169
♪ As we know it ♪
395
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:29,460
Get over here.
396
00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:32,190
Sheldon Lee Cooper, get here.
397
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,620
Right now.
398
00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:36,559
Oh, Lord, I think I'm gonna wet myself.
399
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,210
Get! You come here! Sheldon Lee Cooper!
400
00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:41,680
♪ I feel fine. ♪
401
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,710
Look at that.
402
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,120
St. Mary drinking alcohol.
403
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:52,910
God saw what just happened. He gets it.
404
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,909
Mind if I take a crack at
catching the Road Runner?
405
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:58,789
What are you gonna
do that I couldn't do?
406
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:00,369
Oh, a little trick I learned
407
00:17:00,370 --> 00:17:02,759
trying to get prairie
dogs out of the hole.
408
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,530
Of course we'd whack off
their heads with a golf club.
409
00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:08,120
I'm not gonna do that to Sheldon.
410
00:17:08,130 --> 00:17:10,870
[SIGHS]
411
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,460
[SINGSONGY]: Oh, Moon Pie,
412
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:16,960
I've got a little treat for you.
413
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:18,960
Chocolate chip?
414
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:21,599
Mm-hmm, right out of the oven.
415
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,700
Good. That means they're sterile.
416
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,210
[LAUGHS]
417
00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:28,080
Why don't you come on out
here and... have a couple?
418
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,170
I can't do that.
419
00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:31,869
Okay, I tell you what.
420
00:17:31,870 --> 00:17:34,460
I'm gonna just put 'em right out here,
421
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,750
and you can come out and
get one when you're ready.
422
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,800
How about that? I'm gonna put 'em down
423
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,080
right... here.
424
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:49,339
Aah! [LAUGHS]
425
00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:51,010
Come on! Oh. [LAUGHS]
426
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,080
Listen to me, buster.
427
00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:56,129
Okay.
428
00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:58,379
You are a lot of things, Sheldon.
429
00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:02,000
You are cute, smart, hygienic.
430
00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:07,960
But most of all...
431
00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:11,409
you... are a Texan.
432
00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:12,799
So?
433
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,229
So Texans
434
00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:16,729
aren't afraid of nothin'!
435
00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:19,250
Rattlesnakes, Indians,
436
00:18:19,260 --> 00:18:21,240
the Mexican Army.
437
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:28,460
Do you imagine that Sam Houston
was scared of a little old cold?
438
00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:29,790
No.
439
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,750
Jim Bowie?
440
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,120
No.
441
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:36,750
Sissy Spacek?
442
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,370
I... guess not?
443
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,959
You're damn right,
because they're Texans
444
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,500
through and through.
445
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:44,899
Now I want you to quit
hiding in this plastic bubble,
446
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:46,589
and I want you to come out here and
447
00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:49,950
eat your cookies out
in the world like a man!
448
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,610
Like a Texan man!
449
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,000
[MEEMAW SIGHS]
450
00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:15,049
I'm impressed.
451
00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:16,290
Me, too.
452
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:19,169
I thought I'd lost him at Sissy Spacek.
453
00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:22,120
Whew! [CHUCKLES]
454
00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:27,129
ADULT SHELDON: As you can see,
455
00:19:27,130 --> 00:19:30,650
my meemaw successfully
lured me back into the world
456
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:34,639
by reminding me of my
brave Texas ancestors.
457
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,020
Their blood ran through my veins.
458
00:19:37,030 --> 00:19:40,690
I was a true son of the Lone Star State.
459
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,770
Albeit a true son
460
00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:45,570
with an incredibly
fragile immune system.
461
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:49,190
I woke up the next morning
with a temperature of 102
462
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,770
and a head packed full of mucus.
463
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:55,910
However, there was a silver lining.
464
00:19:55,920 --> 00:20:00,500
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
465
00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:03,040
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
466
00:20:03,050 --> 00:20:07,500
♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
467
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,930
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
468
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,790
Sing it again, Mom.
469
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,080
First, blow your nose.
470
00:20:13,090 --> 00:20:14,470
[BLOWS NOSE]
471
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,149
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
472
00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:22,229
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
473
00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:26,469
♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
474
00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:28,900
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
475
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:34,880
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