1
00:00:01,023 --> 00:00:04,567
♪ ♪
2
00:00:04,570 --> 00:00:06,526
Hey, what you reading?
3
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:07,800
A magazine.
4
00:00:07,803 --> 00:00:10,229
Oh. Making a collage for school?
5
00:00:10,231 --> 00:00:11,998
No, just reading it.
6
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,933
Look at that.
7
00:00:13,935 --> 00:00:16,726
Maybe Sheldon isn't the
only bookworm around here.
8
00:00:16,729 --> 00:00:17,804
Which magazine?
9
00:00:17,806 --> 00:00:19,806
- Cosmopolitan.
- What?
10
00:00:19,808 --> 00:00:21,640
It's a magazine for today's woman.
11
00:00:22,777 --> 00:00:25,703
Hey! I was about to find
out what turns a man on.
12
00:00:25,706 --> 00:00:27,005
Where'd you get this?
13
00:00:27,008 --> 00:00:29,448
Heather. I traded a
Fruit Roll-Up for it.
14
00:00:29,451 --> 00:00:31,926
- Well, this is going in the garbage.
- You sure?
15
00:00:31,929 --> 00:00:34,821
It's got some great tips on
how to spice up your marriage.
16
00:00:34,823 --> 00:00:37,657
My marriage is fine, thank you.
17
00:00:37,659 --> 00:00:40,727
And you are not to bring filth
like this into our house again.
18
00:00:40,729 --> 00:00:42,695
That's not fair.
Sheldon reads dirty stuff
19
00:00:42,697 --> 00:00:44,697
all the time, and you
don't say anything.
20
00:00:44,699 --> 00:00:45,992
He does not.
21
00:00:45,995 --> 00:00:48,000
Check out the comic book on his desk.
22
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[SIGHS]
23
00:00:52,237 --> 00:00:53,637
MARY: What?
24
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:54,873
Oh, my goodness.
25
00:00:54,876 --> 00:00:56,676
Oh.
26
00:00:56,678 --> 00:00:58,578
Oh, my.
27
00:00:58,580 --> 00:00:59,979
Hold on.
28
00:00:59,981 --> 00:01:01,347
No. No.
29
00:01:01,349 --> 00:01:04,390
Th-This blue man's backside
is all over the place.
30
00:01:04,393 --> 00:01:07,109
On page 112, you get
to see his front side.
31
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[GASPS] Oh!
32
00:01:10,024 --> 00:01:11,724
[SIGHS]
33
00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:14,394
- I'll be back.
- Where you going?
34
00:01:14,396 --> 00:01:16,523
To give the owner of
that comic book store
35
00:01:16,526 --> 00:01:18,364
- a piece of my mind!
- Cool.
36
00:01:18,366 --> 00:01:20,700
And then I'm calling Heather's mom!
37
00:01:20,702 --> 00:01:23,536
Aw.
38
00:01:23,538 --> 00:01:26,439
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
39
00:01:26,441 --> 00:01:29,242
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
40
00:01:29,244 --> 00:01:31,844
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
41
00:01:31,846 --> 00:01:34,684
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
42
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
43
00:01:41,046 --> 00:01:44,390
♪ Someone told me long ago ♪
44
00:01:44,392 --> 00:01:46,454
♪ There's a calm before the storm ♪
45
00:01:46,457 --> 00:01:48,261
♪ I know ♪
46
00:01:48,263 --> 00:01:51,103
♪ It's been coming for some time... ♪
47
00:01:51,106 --> 00:01:53,904
Are there any Vietnamese superheroes?
48
00:01:53,907 --> 00:01:55,735
There's one called Half-Face.
49
00:01:55,738 --> 00:01:57,478
Why?
50
00:01:57,481 --> 00:02:00,238
The communist government
forced him to build bombs,
51
00:02:00,241 --> 00:02:02,141
and one blew off half his face.
52
00:02:02,143 --> 00:02:04,710
The left half or the right half?
53
00:02:04,712 --> 00:02:06,012
The bottom half.
54
00:02:06,014 --> 00:02:09,081
- That's an important half.
- [DOOR BELLS JINGLE]
55
00:02:11,052 --> 00:02:13,219
Excuse me. Did you sell this to my son?
56
00:02:13,221 --> 00:02:14,687
I don't know. Who's your son?
57
00:02:14,689 --> 00:02:16,556
The little boy in the corner.
58
00:02:18,726 --> 00:02:20,993
- Which one?
- Sheldon Cooper.
59
00:02:20,995 --> 00:02:23,463
Oh. Yeah.
60
00:02:23,465 --> 00:02:25,154
Look at him!
61
00:02:25,157 --> 00:02:27,857
He is the same size as one
of the dolls you sell here.
62
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:29,006
Those are action figures.
63
00:02:29,009 --> 00:02:30,903
Where is your sense of responsibility?
64
00:02:30,905 --> 00:02:32,538
Have you looked inside this book?
65
00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:33,439
Because I have.
66
00:02:33,442 --> 00:02:34,737
ADULT SHELDON: At that moment,
67
00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:38,108
I felt a subtle heat
rising through my body.
68
00:02:38,111 --> 00:02:40,540
I was used to being
humiliated by my siblings
69
00:02:40,543 --> 00:02:42,914
on a daily basis, but from my mother?
70
00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:44,917
This was new territory.
71
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,353
Mom, you're embarrassing me.
72
00:02:47,355 --> 00:02:49,201
Oh, is that right?
73
00:02:49,204 --> 00:02:50,756
Well, guess what. I don't care.
74
00:02:50,758 --> 00:02:52,258
And if I catch you doing it again,
75
00:02:52,260 --> 00:02:54,982
I'll be back with my husband,
he is way scarier than me.
76
00:02:54,985 --> 00:02:57,029
- I doubt that.
- Let's go.
77
00:02:57,031 --> 00:02:59,031
But I came here with Tam.
78
00:02:59,033 --> 00:03:00,933
Tam, you coming or not?
79
00:03:00,935 --> 00:03:02,468
I'm good.
80
00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:03,703
♪ I want to know ♪
81
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:06,272
♪ Have you ever seen the rain? ♪
82
00:03:06,274 --> 00:03:08,068
♪ I want to know ♪
83
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♪ Have you ever seen the rain... ♪
84
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[DOOR CLOSES]
85
00:03:12,847 --> 00:03:15,798
As you can see, I'm not related to them.
86
00:03:19,609 --> 00:03:21,439
WEATHERMAN [OVER RADIO]:
And in local weather,
87
00:03:21,442 --> 00:03:24,568
the tornado watch issued Tuesday
is still in effect for the area.
88
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,560
Stay right here for
updates as we get 'em.
89
00:03:27,562 --> 00:03:30,365
I don't understand why
you'd even be interested
90
00:03:30,368 --> 00:03:31,631
in a book like that.
91
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:33,274
One of the characters is a scientist
92
00:03:33,277 --> 00:03:35,043
who worked on the Manhattan Project.
93
00:03:35,046 --> 00:03:37,502
Well, it's filled with
violence and nudity,
94
00:03:37,505 --> 00:03:39,305
and you are done looking at it.
95
00:03:39,307 --> 00:03:41,007
But comics are a form of art.
96
00:03:41,009 --> 00:03:42,542
You wouldn't forbid me from looking
97
00:03:42,544 --> 00:03:45,044
at Michelangelo's David
just because he's nude.
98
00:03:45,046 --> 00:03:47,146
When a statue of your naked blue fella
99
00:03:47,148 --> 00:03:48,981
is on display at the
Vatican, we'll talk.
100
00:03:48,983 --> 00:03:52,485
Actually, David is at the
Accademia Gallery in Florence.
101
00:03:52,487 --> 00:03:55,751
Doesn't matter. I don't want
you looking at his bottom either.
102
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,625
Where's Mom?
103
00:03:59,627 --> 00:04:02,139
Chewing out the guy who
runs the comic book store.
104
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,229
Why?
105
00:04:03,231 --> 00:04:04,868
She found an inappropriate comic
106
00:04:04,871 --> 00:04:07,138
that Sheldon had and went ballistic.
107
00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:08,934
She also took my Cosmo.
108
00:04:08,937 --> 00:04:11,037
What's a Cosmo?
109
00:04:11,039 --> 00:04:13,040
A magazine for today's woman.
110
00:04:13,043 --> 00:04:14,478
Sucks for you.
111
00:04:14,481 --> 00:04:18,178
You know, if I had something in
my room she might disapprove of,
112
00:04:18,181 --> 00:04:20,813
I might be looking for
a real good hiding place
113
00:04:20,815 --> 00:04:22,114
right about now.
114
00:04:22,116 --> 00:04:24,116
I think I'm okay.
115
00:04:24,118 --> 00:04:25,806
Your air vent?
116
00:04:29,123 --> 00:04:31,090
[CHUCKLES]
117
00:04:31,092 --> 00:04:32,491
Boys are dumb.
118
00:04:32,493 --> 00:04:34,827
D-U-M-B.
119
00:04:34,829 --> 00:04:37,126
Dumb-a?
120
00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,108
What are you doing?
121
00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:51,344
Confiscating your comic books.
122
00:04:51,346 --> 00:04:53,312
You can have them back when you're 18.
123
00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:55,281
You're taking Casper the Friendly Ghost?
124
00:04:55,283 --> 00:04:57,783
Ghosts are sacrilegious.
Nothing friendly about that.
125
00:04:57,785 --> 00:04:59,353
Very well.
126
00:04:59,356 --> 00:05:01,657
There's one more book
that belongs in the box,
127
00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:06,858
filled with adultery, genocide,
and even human sacrifice.
128
00:05:06,861 --> 00:05:09,795
You think you're so smart.
129
00:05:09,797 --> 00:05:13,699
I do. And yet you continue
to treat me like a child.
130
00:05:13,701 --> 00:05:15,968
You know what?
131
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:18,603
You want me to treat you
like an adult, you got it.
132
00:05:18,606 --> 00:05:21,307
From this moment on, I
am done mommy-ing you.
133
00:05:21,309 --> 00:05:25,378
Wonderful. Does that mean I
can have my comic books back?
134
00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:28,439
Comic books are for
children. You're an adult.
135
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,360
ADULT SHELDON: My new adult
responsibilities began that night.
136
00:05:39,363 --> 00:05:41,696
Luckily, a cookbook is nothing more
137
00:05:41,698 --> 00:05:43,231
than a set of instructions.
138
00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,233
And if there's one thing I shine at,
139
00:05:45,235 --> 00:05:47,102
it's following instructions.
140
00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:51,673
Aw.
141
00:05:53,185 --> 00:05:54,924
[BLENDER WHIRRING IN KITCHEN]
142
00:05:54,927 --> 00:05:56,344
What's Sheldon doing?
143
00:05:56,346 --> 00:05:58,713
- Cooking his own dinner.
- Why?
144
00:05:58,715 --> 00:06:00,915
He wants to take care
of himself like an adult.
145
00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:03,651
I plan on putting that off
for as long as possible.
146
00:06:03,653 --> 00:06:06,020
Really? It's a plan?
147
00:06:06,022 --> 00:06:07,322
[CLATTERING IN KITCHEN]
148
00:06:07,324 --> 00:06:09,224
Maybe I should go keep an eye on him.
149
00:06:09,226 --> 00:06:11,392
No. Let him handle this on his own.
150
00:06:11,394 --> 00:06:12,846
I wouldn't mind watching.
151
00:06:12,849 --> 00:06:14,662
[SIGHS] Let's just say grace.
152
00:06:14,664 --> 00:06:17,146
- [LOUD CLATTERING]
- I can't. I got to go in there.
153
00:06:17,149 --> 00:06:18,281
If she's going, I'm going.
154
00:06:18,284 --> 00:06:19,366
No one's going anywhere.
155
00:06:19,369 --> 00:06:21,236
If he needs help, he can ask.
156
00:06:21,238 --> 00:06:22,637
SHELDON: I don't need help!
157
00:06:22,639 --> 00:06:24,906
Everything's under control!
158
00:06:24,908 --> 00:06:27,242
[SIGHS]
159
00:06:27,244 --> 00:06:29,307
You're really holding
the line on this one.
160
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:31,646
I'm sorry, but he
just pushed my buttons.
161
00:06:31,648 --> 00:06:34,215
Don't be sorry. I'm diggin' it.
162
00:06:34,217 --> 00:06:35,750
- Ew.
- Gross.
163
00:06:35,752 --> 00:06:36,818
I agree.
164
00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:39,114
Pretty gross.
165
00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:43,918
Y'all are mean.
166
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,196
How was your chicken?
167
00:06:48,198 --> 00:06:52,233
Not bad. The dish soap gave
it a nice lemony flavor.
168
00:06:53,278 --> 00:06:55,003
All right, bedtime.
169
00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:57,205
- Night, Mama.
- Night, baby.
170
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,443
Have sweet dreams.
171
00:06:58,446 --> 00:07:00,041
- Love you.
- Love you, too.
172
00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:01,476
[KISSES]
173
00:07:01,478 --> 00:07:04,445
Sheldon, I assume you
don't need to be tucked in?
174
00:07:04,447 --> 00:07:06,950
I can handle it, thank you.
175
00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:16,257
Okay.
176
00:07:16,259 --> 00:07:19,327
Wow. No good night kiss?
177
00:07:19,329 --> 00:07:21,329
That's up to your brother.
178
00:07:21,331 --> 00:07:23,341
That won't be necessary.
179
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,035
Fine.
180
00:07:28,671 --> 00:07:30,871
[DOOR CLOSES]
181
00:07:30,874 --> 00:07:32,766
[TV PLAYING QUIETLY]
182
00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:35,036
Had enough? You gonna back down?
183
00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:36,236
No.
184
00:07:36,239 --> 00:07:38,112
He's real smart, but he needs to learn
185
00:07:38,114 --> 00:07:39,447
he doesn't know everything.
186
00:07:39,449 --> 00:07:43,851
Woman, you are getting
sexier by the second. Whew.
187
00:07:43,853 --> 00:07:46,666
Hey, now that you're
treating him like an adult,
188
00:07:46,669 --> 00:07:48,056
can I have his allowance?
189
00:07:48,058 --> 00:07:51,411
That allowance is for chores,
which you already don't do.
190
00:07:51,414 --> 00:07:53,799
Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
191
00:07:53,802 --> 00:07:57,107
You're not even his third favorite.
192
00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:02,471
ADULT SHELDON: Making my
school lunch the next morning
193
00:08:02,474 --> 00:08:05,916
- proved no easier than dinner.
- [GRUNTING, GROANING]
194
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,130
Maybe you're turning it the wrong way.
195
00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:10,111
[STRAINING]: Don't you
have anything better to do?
196
00:08:10,113 --> 00:08:11,946
Not better than this.
197
00:08:11,948 --> 00:08:15,216
This is nothing a
little science can't fix.
198
00:08:15,218 --> 00:08:17,418
All I need to do is
break the pressure seal.
199
00:08:19,788 --> 00:08:22,589
[GRUNTS]
200
00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:24,759
I don't think that was enough science.
201
00:08:24,761 --> 00:08:26,455
MARY: Morning, Missy.
202
00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:28,529
- Morning, Sheldon.
- Morning.
203
00:08:28,531 --> 00:08:30,131
Morning, Mary.
204
00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:31,766
[CLEARS THROAT]
205
00:08:31,768 --> 00:08:34,019
Mom, you need to sign this consent form.
206
00:08:34,022 --> 00:08:35,321
What's it for?
207
00:08:35,324 --> 00:08:36,557
Field trip.
208
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,106
- Where?
- Museum.
209
00:08:38,108 --> 00:08:40,074
- Which one?
- Does it matter?
210
00:08:40,076 --> 00:08:42,276
It's not like I'm gonna
learn anything, anyway.
211
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,171
It's the planetarium
at the science museum.
212
00:08:46,174 --> 00:08:47,949
And I need you to sign mine, too.
213
00:08:47,952 --> 00:08:50,184
Oh. It's interesting that an adult
214
00:08:50,186 --> 00:08:52,720
would need his mother
to sign a consent form.
215
00:08:52,722 --> 00:08:53,911
And here we go.
216
00:08:53,914 --> 00:08:56,490
I don't need you to
sign it, the school does.
217
00:08:56,493 --> 00:08:58,393
So you're saying even
the school doesn't think
218
00:08:58,395 --> 00:09:01,396
that you're mature enough to
make all your own decisions.
219
00:09:02,646 --> 00:09:04,513
ADULT SHELDON: In that moment,
220
00:09:04,516 --> 00:09:08,618
I was so angry with her,
I almost opened the jar.
221
00:09:10,073 --> 00:09:11,439
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
222
00:09:13,043 --> 00:09:15,977
I'm ready to go to college.
223
00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:20,393
Okay. Where you thinking?
224
00:09:20,396 --> 00:09:22,205
Somewhere with a good science program,
225
00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:23,251
but far enough away
226
00:09:23,253 --> 00:09:26,421
to make my mom cry herself to
sleep every night that I'm gone.
227
00:09:26,423 --> 00:09:28,690
You're applying to college out of spite?
228
00:09:28,692 --> 00:09:31,333
I see why you're the guidance counselor.
229
00:09:31,336 --> 00:09:33,505
Okay, let's see.
230
00:09:33,508 --> 00:09:36,196
What about Caltech in Pasadena?
231
00:09:36,199 --> 00:09:38,535
I can't see myself living in California.
232
00:09:38,538 --> 00:09:40,672
I don't trust their carefree lifestyle.
233
00:09:40,675 --> 00:09:42,637
Okay. Um...
234
00:09:42,639 --> 00:09:44,939
How about MIT in Boston?
235
00:09:44,941 --> 00:09:46,974
Do they have a strong physics program?
236
00:09:46,976 --> 00:09:48,643
They're more of an engineering school.
237
00:09:48,645 --> 00:09:50,199
Next.
238
00:09:53,249 --> 00:09:55,416
There's always Harvard.
239
00:09:57,253 --> 00:10:01,589
Hmm. I don't like cold weather,
but I do look good in maroon.
240
00:10:02,992 --> 00:10:06,016
All right, Harvard it is.
Thank you for your help.
241
00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:07,962
Are you interested in
applying to a safety school
242
00:10:07,964 --> 00:10:09,446
in case you don't get in?
243
00:10:09,449 --> 00:10:12,074
Safety school. You're funny.
244
00:10:13,878 --> 00:10:15,770
So, how was everyone's day?
245
00:10:15,772 --> 00:10:17,571
I cut open a frog at school.
246
00:10:17,574 --> 00:10:19,307
For science class?
247
00:10:19,309 --> 00:10:20,942
Sure.
248
00:10:20,945 --> 00:10:23,297
We should put a lock
on the knife drawer.
249
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:24,645
[SIGHS]
250
00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:28,149
What are you eating?
251
00:10:28,151 --> 00:10:30,585
An English muffin with
ketchup and spray cheese.
252
00:10:30,587 --> 00:10:31,652
No fair.
253
00:10:31,654 --> 00:10:32,653
Lucky.
254
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:35,321
Sorry I spent an hour making meatloaf.
255
00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:36,719
MEEMAW: So, Moonpie,
256
00:10:36,722 --> 00:10:38,392
how's adult life treating you?
257
00:10:38,394 --> 00:10:39,694
Very well, actually.
258
00:10:39,696 --> 00:10:41,496
I'm working on my
application to Harvard.
259
00:10:41,498 --> 00:10:43,431
Is that so?
260
00:10:43,433 --> 00:10:45,633
Yes. And I'm planning
on transferring there
261
00:10:45,635 --> 00:10:47,068
as soon as possible.
262
00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:49,137
You're not going away to Harvard.
263
00:10:49,139 --> 00:10:51,038
I don't believe you have a say in this.
264
00:10:53,074 --> 00:10:54,540
Okay, well,
265
00:10:54,543 --> 00:10:55,899
Harvard's real expensive.
266
00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:57,645
How do you plan on paying for it?
267
00:10:57,647 --> 00:10:59,415
Oh, I'm sure I'll get a scholarship.
268
00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:01,716
- Oh, are you?
- Yes, I am.
269
00:11:01,718 --> 00:11:03,660
[CHUCKLES]: Okay. Okay.
270
00:11:03,668 --> 00:11:06,420
Let's just take a deep breath
and talk about something else.
271
00:11:06,422 --> 00:11:08,055
Fine.
272
00:11:09,832 --> 00:11:11,826
I want to hear about that frog.
273
00:11:11,828 --> 00:11:13,194
A different something else.
274
00:11:13,196 --> 00:11:14,829
MARY: I just realized something.
275
00:11:14,831 --> 00:11:17,824
College applications cost
money just to send in.
276
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:20,586
- They do?
- $50, $60 a pop.
277
00:11:20,589 --> 00:11:23,171
I don't believe you have
that kind of money, do you?
278
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,000
Will you excuse me?
279
00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:29,800
I have to go take a cold shower.
280
00:11:37,699 --> 00:11:41,085
Hello, Randall. I would
like to apply for a job.
281
00:11:41,087 --> 00:11:43,316
- You would?
- Yes.
282
00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:45,719
I need to earn money so
I can apply to Harvard.
283
00:11:45,722 --> 00:11:47,558
I thought about going to Harvard,
284
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:50,394
but then I realized
The Shack is my passion.
285
00:11:50,396 --> 00:11:52,589
So can I work here?
286
00:11:52,592 --> 00:11:55,099
Excuse me. How much RAM
does this computer have?
287
00:11:55,101 --> 00:11:57,334
Um, I can check on that for you.
288
00:11:57,336 --> 00:12:01,871
It comes with 640 kilobytes,
but it's expandable up to 768.
289
00:12:03,261 --> 00:12:04,922
Well?
290
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,944
Do you even have a résumé?
291
00:12:06,946 --> 00:12:10,881
No, but I have a report card
that'll knock your socks off.
292
00:12:10,883 --> 00:12:12,349
And what's the processor speed?
293
00:12:12,351 --> 00:12:15,543
It has the Intel 8286, so ten megahertz.
294
00:12:18,511 --> 00:12:19,980
Sorry, Sheldon.
295
00:12:19,983 --> 00:12:22,960
I think it's against company
policy to hire little kids.
296
00:12:22,962 --> 00:12:25,696
But people say I'm like
an old man all the time.
297
00:12:25,698 --> 00:12:29,233
Hey, I'm one of 'em, but
the answer's still no.
298
00:12:29,235 --> 00:12:30,634
ADULT SHELDON: When people wonder
299
00:12:30,636 --> 00:12:33,782
why Radio Shack eventually
went out of business,
300
00:12:33,785 --> 00:12:35,543
you can point to this moment.
301
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,874
[ELECTRONIC DOOR CHIME SOUNDS]
302
00:12:36,876 --> 00:12:38,964
Meemaw?
303
00:12:39,912 --> 00:12:41,378
Meemaw?
304
00:12:43,115 --> 00:12:46,183
Hey! Looking sharp.
305
00:12:46,185 --> 00:12:49,219
You're not gonna try to sell
me a set of knives, are you?
306
00:12:49,221 --> 00:12:52,156
No. It's a joke.
307
00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:54,758
'Cause of the suit.
308
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,694
Okay.
309
00:12:56,696 --> 00:12:59,274
I need money for my Harvard application,
310
00:12:59,277 --> 00:13:02,089
and was wondering if there
are any jobs I could do.
311
00:13:02,092 --> 00:13:04,968
Hmm. My yard could use a little weeding.
312
00:13:04,970 --> 00:13:07,337
I'm not terribly fond of outdoor work.
313
00:13:07,339 --> 00:13:10,674
Plus, that garden gnome terrifies me.
314
00:13:10,676 --> 00:13:13,168
Ernesto has that effect on people.
315
00:13:13,171 --> 00:13:14,912
How much does the job pay?
316
00:13:14,914 --> 00:13:16,780
Well, let me think. How
about a dollar an hour?
317
00:13:16,782 --> 00:13:19,449
- How about five dollars an hour?
- How about 50 cents an hour?
318
00:13:19,452 --> 00:13:20,878
Wait a minute. What just happened?
319
00:13:20,881 --> 00:13:24,282
- I'll tell you what. I'll give you a dollar.
- Thank you.
320
00:13:25,391 --> 00:13:27,357
[LAUGHS QUIETLY]
321
00:13:27,359 --> 00:13:29,105
[TV PLAYING QUIETLY]
322
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,841
Hey. Hey.
323
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,763
You know how you think I
can't do anything for myself?
324
00:13:33,766 --> 00:13:36,467
I do think that, yes.
325
00:13:36,469 --> 00:13:38,602
Well, I have something
I'd like to show you.
326
00:13:38,604 --> 00:13:40,771
You did some chores?
327
00:13:40,773 --> 00:13:42,306
Come see for yourself.
328
00:13:42,308 --> 00:13:45,425
I don't know if I'm ready
for another heart attack,
329
00:13:45,428 --> 00:13:46,941
but here we go.
330
00:13:49,915 --> 00:13:52,082
Feast your eyes.
331
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,423
You did all this?
332
00:13:59,425 --> 00:14:00,858
I did.
333
00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:04,228
You shoved everything in
the closet, didn't you?
334
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:05,886
Take a look.
335
00:14:16,775 --> 00:14:18,574
I am impressed.
336
00:14:18,577 --> 00:14:19,877
You should be.
337
00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:21,945
There may be hope for you yet.
338
00:14:30,623 --> 00:14:33,123
I thought that showed ingenuity.
339
00:14:34,198 --> 00:14:36,693
- Okay, here you go.
- [WIND RUSHING]
340
00:14:36,695 --> 00:14:41,367
I got you a shovel and
a bucket and some gloves.
341
00:14:41,370 --> 00:14:44,301
Did you check the gloves for spiders?
342
00:14:44,303 --> 00:14:47,404
Is this my first day as Meemaw?
343
00:14:48,307 --> 00:14:50,240
ELMER FUDD [OVER TV]: It's not?
344
00:14:50,242 --> 00:14:52,810
No. It's duck-hunting season.
345
00:14:52,812 --> 00:14:56,547
That, sir, is an
in-mitigated fabrication!
346
00:14:56,550 --> 00:14:59,698
It's wabbit season! Duck season.
347
00:14:59,701 --> 00:15:01,618
Not again.
348
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,120
What's wrong, baby?
349
00:15:03,122 --> 00:15:05,589
I'm trying to hear about
duck season and wabbit season,
350
00:15:05,591 --> 00:15:08,192
but they keep talking
about this stupid tornado.
351
00:15:08,194 --> 00:15:12,696
MAN [OVER TV]: The National Weather
Service has issued a tornado watch
352
00:15:12,698 --> 00:15:15,732
for the following counties: Angelina...
353
00:15:15,734 --> 00:15:17,734
[WIND WHISTLING SOFTLY]
354
00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:21,839
Hey, Shelly, how's it going over there?
355
00:15:21,841 --> 00:15:24,007
I hate everything about this.
356
00:15:24,009 --> 00:15:25,275
[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]
357
00:15:25,277 --> 00:15:26,877
You need to come home with me.
358
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:28,278
No. I'm working.
359
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,620
There is a tornado watch. Let's go!
360
00:15:30,623 --> 00:15:33,082
Oh, come on, Mary. We've had a watch
361
00:15:33,085 --> 00:15:35,445
every day for two months,
nothing ever happens.
362
00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:36,953
SHELDON: I think you're just worried
363
00:15:36,956 --> 00:15:40,047
I'm earning the money to send
in my college application.
364
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:42,917
I am worried it is not
safe out here. Let's go!
365
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,995
I can worry about my
own safety, thank you.
366
00:15:44,997 --> 00:15:46,698
I don't care if you
think you're an adult.
367
00:15:46,701 --> 00:15:48,709
I'm your mother, and you will do as I say.
368
00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:50,067
[SIREN BLARING IN DISTANCE]
369
00:15:50,069 --> 00:15:51,935
Well, that ain't good.
370
00:15:51,937 --> 00:15:54,171
You believe me now?
371
00:15:54,173 --> 00:15:55,672
Mom?
372
00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:10,093
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
373
00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:11,574
[GLASS SHATTERS IN DISTANCE]
374
00:16:11,576 --> 00:16:14,074
- I'm scared!
- It's gonna be okay.
375
00:16:14,077 --> 00:16:15,078
GEORGE SR.: Georgie!
376
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,647
- Help me get this in front of the window.
- On it.
377
00:16:20,318 --> 00:16:22,085
- Is this my bed?
- Yeah.
378
00:16:22,087 --> 00:16:23,999
Aw, it took me an hour to make it.
379
00:16:24,002 --> 00:16:25,655
[SIGHS]
380
00:16:25,657 --> 00:16:28,358
You okay, Moonpie?
381
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,968
I'm all right.
382
00:16:29,971 --> 00:16:32,527
- I'm not. This is scary.
- We're gonna be fine.
383
00:16:32,530 --> 00:16:34,631
This'll blow through in a few minutes.
384
00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:37,367
[WIND HOWLING, DEBRIS
CLATTERING OUTSIDE]
385
00:16:38,737 --> 00:16:40,858
I need to pee.
386
00:16:40,861 --> 00:16:42,405
Can you hold it, baby?
387
00:16:42,407 --> 00:16:44,561
We'll find out.
388
00:16:47,669 --> 00:16:49,770
I'm not all right anymore!
389
00:16:50,362 --> 00:16:52,681
Flashlights, guys!
390
00:16:52,684 --> 00:16:54,784
What if it hits us and we all die?
391
00:16:54,786 --> 00:16:57,897
It's not gonna hit us! I might hit you.
392
00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:59,389
[THUNDER CRACKS]
393
00:16:59,391 --> 00:17:01,624
But first, I'm gonna hold you.
394
00:17:01,626 --> 00:17:04,030
[HOUSE RUMBLING, GLASS SHATTERS]
395
00:17:04,033 --> 00:17:06,968
In the name of Jesus, I
place a hedge of protection
396
00:17:06,971 --> 00:17:08,905
around this house and my family.
397
00:17:08,908 --> 00:17:12,335
I command this storm
to skip over our home
398
00:17:12,338 --> 00:17:13,638
in Jesus' name.
399
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:14,706
I wish peace
400
00:17:14,709 --> 00:17:16,709
to every single person in this room
401
00:17:16,712 --> 00:17:19,608
and declare that not
one of us will get hurt
402
00:17:19,611 --> 00:17:22,412
in this storm, in Jesus' name!
403
00:17:22,414 --> 00:17:24,080
[WIND HOWLING]
404
00:17:24,082 --> 00:17:25,715
Pray harder!
405
00:17:25,717 --> 00:17:26,883
Okay.
406
00:17:26,885 --> 00:17:28,818
[THUNDER CRACKS]
407
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,720
[STORM FADES]
408
00:17:32,557 --> 00:17:34,724
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
409
00:17:37,662 --> 00:17:41,460
ADULT SHELDON: The good news was
most of our neighborhood was spared.
410
00:17:41,463 --> 00:17:42,624
MARY: Oh.
411
00:17:42,627 --> 00:17:44,645
The bad news: my mother thought
412
00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:46,802
she had something to do with it.
413
00:17:46,805 --> 00:17:48,488
Looks like your house is okay.
414
00:17:48,491 --> 00:17:51,307
You were just worried I might
have to come live with you.
415
00:17:51,309 --> 00:17:53,943
Oh, I think the word you're
looking for is "terrified."
416
00:17:53,945 --> 00:17:56,613
Hmm. Better go check on it.
417
00:17:56,615 --> 00:17:57,819
I'll come with you.
418
00:17:57,822 --> 00:17:59,389
Be careful.
419
00:18:02,312 --> 00:18:03,882
Mom?
420
00:18:03,885 --> 00:18:05,245
Yeah, baby?
421
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,093
[DOOR OPENS]
422
00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:19,390
You would not believe
the pee I just took.
423
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:25,202
♪ I see skies of blue ♪
424
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,725
♪ For me and you ♪
425
00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:31,164
♪ And I say to myself ♪
426
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:36,363
♪ What a wonderful world. ♪
427
00:18:36,373 --> 00:18:41,330
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