1 00:00:13,793 --> 00:00:17,047 Thank you, guys. I don't know what happened over at Netflix, 2 00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:20,467 but big mitzvah that you brought it over here, to Hulu. 3 00:00:20,550 --> 00:00:22,927 - We're so happy to be here. - So happy. 4 00:00:23,011 --> 00:00:25,555 So, let's talk tachles. 5 00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:27,682 - What is that? - Tachles, real talk. 6 00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,267 Let's get to it. 7 00:00:29,851 --> 00:00:33,355 Young Larry, the rewrite, liked it, didn't love it. 8 00:00:33,647 --> 00:00:35,023 So you didn't like it. 9 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,150 That's not what we're saying. 10 00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,818 I liked it. They liked it. 11 00:00:39,152 --> 00:00:43,698 - They liked it? Or they liked it? - All three of them. 12 00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:47,285 I'm not non-binary. I'm only a they when I'm with a group of people. 13 00:00:47,369 --> 00:00:49,955 - Are you plural? - No, I'm gay. 14 00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:52,832 And there you have it. So, casting. 15 00:00:53,458 --> 00:00:57,462 I was thinking, for the role of Uncle Moe, Ted Danson. 16 00:00:57,921 --> 00:01:02,050 - You can't get away from him. - No, he's everywhere. 17 00:01:02,175 --> 00:01:04,219 Anything he touches turns to comedy gold. 18 00:01:04,302 --> 00:01:06,805 I don't know. He's not really the right type. 19 00:01:06,888 --> 00:01:10,016 We like Ted, but what do I know? I'm just a Jew from the Valley. 20 00:01:10,558 --> 00:01:12,936 It's somebody we could consider, for sure. 21 00:01:13,019 --> 00:01:14,729 I'll tell you what though. 22 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:19,943 I've got somebody for Marsha Lifshitz who's a discovery. 23 00:01:22,112 --> 00:01:27,075 And her name is Maria Sofia Estrada, and she's fantastic. 24 00:01:27,158 --> 00:01:28,326 Great. 25 00:01:28,410 --> 00:01:31,454 I was just wondering, is she Jewish? 26 00:01:31,538 --> 00:01:33,873 - You can't ask that. - No, it's okay in this office. 27 00:01:33,957 --> 00:01:36,167 - You can ask. - Why can't you ask that? 28 00:01:36,251 --> 00:01:39,462 - I think it's illegal. - Get the fuck out of here. Illegal. 29 00:01:39,546 --> 00:01:43,591 Listen, if you like her, we like her. Can we see some tape? 30 00:01:43,925 --> 00:01:46,303 - See what? - Tape. That's the process. 31 00:01:46,386 --> 00:01:49,848 It's that, you know, we'd like to give it the old network stamp. 32 00:01:49,931 --> 00:01:51,474 - Yeah. - Well... 33 00:01:51,558 --> 00:01:55,061 - Tape. - It's a visual medium, this TV thing. 34 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,023 That's great. We'll get 'em tape. 35 00:01:58,106 --> 00:02:00,734 - We'll get you some tape. - Terrific. We can't wait. 36 00:02:00,817 --> 00:02:02,193 Great meeting, really good. 37 00:02:02,277 --> 00:02:05,238 And on behalf of everybody, welcome to Hulu. 38 00:02:05,322 --> 00:02:06,865 Thank you very much. 39 00:02:06,948 --> 00:02:09,284 Or as we call it in this office, Jew-lu. 40 00:02:10,201 --> 00:02:12,412 - It's my office. - Only you do that. 41 00:02:12,495 --> 00:02:15,206 Hey, Larry, come for Shabbos dinner one of these weekends. 42 00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:18,001 We had Bari Weiss last Friday night. She's fantastic. 43 00:02:23,548 --> 00:02:26,760 - Did that guy ever do standup? - Not to my knowledge. 44 00:02:26,843 --> 00:02:28,637 And if he did, he couldn't have been good. 45 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,889 He really leans into that Jew stuff, doesn't he? 46 00:02:30,972 --> 00:02:36,561 Like a bad comic, every other word is Jew this, Jew that. 47 00:02:36,811 --> 00:02:38,438 Terrible. 48 00:02:40,106 --> 00:02:42,734 Did you slam the door on your way out? 49 00:02:43,151 --> 00:02:44,194 No. 50 00:02:44,277 --> 00:02:46,237 I just got a text from them upstairs, saying, 51 00:02:46,321 --> 00:02:48,865 "Is Larry mad? He slammed the door when he left." 52 00:02:48,949 --> 00:02:50,575 No, I'm not mad. 53 00:02:50,659 --> 00:02:53,745 It's hard to gauge a door you aren't familiar with. 54 00:02:53,828 --> 00:02:56,748 In the future, I promise I will try and be a little more considerate 55 00:02:56,831 --> 00:02:58,541 of my door closing. 56 00:02:59,542 --> 00:03:01,544 What the hell we gonna do about this tape? 57 00:03:01,628 --> 00:03:04,464 I mean, she stinks to high heaven. 58 00:03:05,215 --> 00:03:08,343 What about an acting coach? Acting class. 59 00:03:09,094 --> 00:03:12,514 - Cheryl teaches acting now. - You're kidding me. 60 00:03:12,597 --> 00:03:14,474 No. Great idea, let's ask Cheryl. 61 00:03:14,557 --> 00:03:17,435 - She'll keep it on QT. - Absolutely. 62 00:03:17,769 --> 00:03:19,270 Hello. 63 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,356 What are you doing here? 64 00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:25,360 I have a little thing I need to discuss with you. 65 00:03:25,443 --> 00:03:26,569 Why didn't you text me? 66 00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:29,447 I could've, but then I would've missed 67 00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:34,452 that look of disappointment wash over your face when you open the door, 68 00:03:34,786 --> 00:03:35,829 and that was priceless. 69 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:38,039 - Do you want to come in? - Sure. 70 00:03:38,248 --> 00:03:39,499 Please. 71 00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:42,419 What is that? 72 00:03:42,502 --> 00:03:45,547 Hot dog eating contest? This Friday? 73 00:03:45,922 --> 00:03:48,049 - So disgusting. - That's so gross. 74 00:03:48,133 --> 00:03:49,759 You know, women do these now too. 75 00:03:49,843 --> 00:03:52,804 That would be fun to date a woman hot dog eater. 76 00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:55,223 Take her out to dinner. I'll have a salmon. 77 00:03:55,307 --> 00:03:57,934 She'll have 32 hot dogs. 78 00:03:58,018 --> 00:04:00,145 Why are you here? 79 00:04:01,021 --> 00:04:03,857 Well, you know that pilot I'm doing? 80 00:04:04,149 --> 00:04:05,859 There's an actress in the show. 81 00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:09,821 God, how do I even say this? Well, she stinks. 82 00:04:10,196 --> 00:04:12,282 - But you cast her? - Yeah. 83 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,951 Why would you cast her if she's not good? 84 00:04:15,035 --> 00:04:16,161 I can't get into all this now. 85 00:04:16,244 --> 00:04:19,623 Suffice it to say, she has to be in the show, 86 00:04:19,706 --> 00:04:21,625 and she has to be better than she is. 87 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:25,128 And we need to have a good tape for her to show Hulu. 88 00:04:25,211 --> 00:04:30,175 - All right. Easy. - No. It's not gonna be easy. 89 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:34,429 I mean, we can set up the camera and make a nice tape for Hulu. 90 00:04:34,512 --> 00:04:36,431 And they'll be thrilled. 91 00:04:36,514 --> 00:04:38,600 We'll just work on the dialogue a little bit 92 00:04:38,683 --> 00:04:41,811 and we'll do some serious character study. 93 00:04:41,895 --> 00:04:45,649 - Maybe do some vocal exercises... - Please, spare me the bullshit. 94 00:04:46,399 --> 00:04:48,526 - Thank you. - It's not bullshit. 95 00:04:48,652 --> 00:04:51,321 It's actually technique that people... 96 00:04:53,490 --> 00:04:54,783 You're welcome. 97 00:04:57,118 --> 00:05:00,080 Andy, Cassie, come on. Make yourself at home. Come get a drink. 98 00:05:00,163 --> 00:05:02,791 So you guys are getting the emails from my office every month. 99 00:05:02,874 --> 00:05:04,834 - I don't read them, no. - I don't read them either. 100 00:05:04,918 --> 00:05:07,587 You're my business manager. I pay you to take care of that. 101 00:05:07,712 --> 00:05:11,049 Jeff. Can you help me in the kitchen please? 102 00:05:13,885 --> 00:05:16,596 Listen, I need some advice from you. 103 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,725 I met this girl a few nights ago at a bar. 104 00:05:20,809 --> 00:05:25,146 She was so gorgeous, way outside my coverage. 105 00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:26,773 Nice, Harry, beautiful. 106 00:05:26,856 --> 00:05:29,442 She just gave me her number, so then I gave her my number. 107 00:05:29,818 --> 00:05:32,195 But then when I'm going home, I just texted her, 108 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:36,157 "Hey, that was really cool. Do you want to go get a drink Thursday night?" 109 00:05:36,408 --> 00:05:40,203 And she immediately replied yes. Just bam, right there. 110 00:05:41,746 --> 00:05:44,874 Then I got greedy. And I texted back: 111 00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:48,503 "How about some food to go with those drinks?" 112 00:05:48,628 --> 00:05:52,257 - Oh, no. - She hasn't texted me in two days. 113 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:55,093 - You pushed the dinner... - I blew it, right? 114 00:05:55,176 --> 00:05:57,137 I scared the rabbit away. I ran at it. 115 00:05:57,220 --> 00:06:00,056 The desperation came through. You couldn't contain it. 116 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:04,853 I don't know what to do. You have any ideas? 117 00:06:04,936 --> 00:06:07,439 You got to send her something funny. It's got to be funny. 118 00:06:07,522 --> 00:06:10,358 - Something funny, okay. - It's got to be a funny text. 119 00:06:12,319 --> 00:06:14,571 - I think I might have something. - What? 120 00:06:15,071 --> 00:06:22,037 Say, "Actually, I can't have dinner on Thursday." 121 00:06:22,495 --> 00:06:26,041 "Because I'm in a hot dog eating contest the next day," 122 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:29,794 "and I don't want to ruin my appetite." It's funny. 123 00:06:29,919 --> 00:06:32,297 You're saying, hey, I fucked up, okay? 124 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:36,885 But look, I'm a funny guy. I fucked up, and I'm a funny guy. 125 00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:39,054 Let's see what happens. God damn, yes! 126 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,389 - You like it? - It's nice to see you. 127 00:06:41,473 --> 00:06:43,516 - Thanks for having me. - How's the mattress world? 128 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,478 Still the mattress champ. Just opened a new outlet in Victorville. 129 00:06:46,561 --> 00:06:47,646 That's fantastic. 130 00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:49,564 I'm putting super homies in mattresses. I'm killin' it. 131 00:06:49,939 --> 00:06:53,068 Honestly. But the thing I'm doing now, which is a little bit more creative, 132 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,028 is a hotel. The Funkhouse. 133 00:06:55,111 --> 00:06:57,113 It's Beverly Hills adjacent. It's kind of a boutique. 134 00:06:57,238 --> 00:06:58,281 It's an interesting space. 135 00:06:58,365 --> 00:07:00,408 I want to hear everything. I got stuff in the oven. 136 00:07:00,492 --> 00:07:02,702 Go get yourself a drink, and we'll talk later. 137 00:07:02,786 --> 00:07:05,413 Sounds reasonable. Thanks again for having me. You look terrific. 138 00:07:06,414 --> 00:07:07,499 Hey, guys. 139 00:07:07,624 --> 00:07:09,793 I'm kidding. It's all nerds and Nazis. 140 00:07:10,585 --> 00:07:12,754 - Hey. - Hey, hey. 141 00:07:12,837 --> 00:07:14,255 My man, how are ya? 142 00:07:14,589 --> 00:07:18,343 What's this about a hotel? You bought a hotel? 143 00:07:18,426 --> 00:07:20,136 I'm doing the whole thing. It's exciting, huh? 144 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:22,430 That's amazing. Congratulations. 145 00:07:22,514 --> 00:07:24,724 Well, we'll see how it goes, but I feel very good. 146 00:07:24,808 --> 00:07:26,726 What are you doing about the mini bar? 147 00:07:26,810 --> 00:07:30,438 What do you mean what am I gonna do about the mini bar? It's a mini bar. 148 00:07:30,563 --> 00:07:33,191 They're kind of fascinating to me, the mini bars. 149 00:07:33,274 --> 00:07:34,359 You know, you go into the room, 150 00:07:34,526 --> 00:07:36,861 you're kind of excited about, what do they have? 151 00:07:36,945 --> 00:07:39,364 Then you see some items. I don't know why they got that one. 152 00:07:39,447 --> 00:07:41,992 What are they thinking about with thing, you know? 153 00:07:42,075 --> 00:07:43,868 - Can I ask you something? - Sure. 154 00:07:43,952 --> 00:07:47,247 Suppose I, Larry David, 155 00:07:47,706 --> 00:07:51,584 went shopping for your mini bar and picked out your mini bar? 156 00:07:51,668 --> 00:07:54,296 This is a business. It's not a hobby. I'm really gonna open the hotel. 157 00:07:54,379 --> 00:07:56,548 I completely understand. 158 00:07:56,631 --> 00:07:59,217 Why is somebody better at that than I am? 159 00:07:59,301 --> 00:08:01,428 I know potato chips. I know M&Ms. 160 00:08:01,511 --> 00:08:04,222 They told me not to open up a mattress shop in Temecula. 161 00:08:04,306 --> 00:08:06,308 They said it's all credit card junkies and supercross. 162 00:08:06,391 --> 00:08:08,143 I did it. And guess what? I'm slaughtering it. 163 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,978 If you think you can do it, I think you can do it. 164 00:08:10,061 --> 00:08:12,689 I'll go shopping. And I'll show you what I got. 165 00:08:12,772 --> 00:08:14,190 Yeah. The answer for you is yes. 166 00:08:15,275 --> 00:08:16,776 I want to hear it. 167 00:08:17,027 --> 00:08:18,570 - Hi. - Hi. 168 00:08:18,695 --> 00:08:19,904 - Come on in. - Thank you. 169 00:08:19,988 --> 00:08:21,698 I can't wait to see what you come up with. 170 00:08:21,823 --> 00:08:24,242 - I got to get to work. - And don't overthink it. 171 00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:26,661 - Hey. - Are you mad at me? 172 00:08:26,745 --> 00:08:28,371 No, why would I be mad at you? 173 00:08:28,455 --> 00:08:31,583 I'm doing you a favor, and you slammed the door on me. 174 00:08:31,666 --> 00:08:32,709 Really? 175 00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:35,211 You don't hear that as a slamming of the door? 176 00:08:35,295 --> 00:08:37,297 I didn't hear a door slam. I'm sorry. 177 00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:39,382 Okay, well then you must be door deaf. 178 00:08:39,466 --> 00:08:42,093 It's interesting that you would say that because I've always thought 179 00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:44,554 my hearing was a cut above the average person. 180 00:08:44,638 --> 00:08:47,682 Especially disparaging remarks directed at me. 181 00:08:48,475 --> 00:08:51,436 "You're a fucking asshole." I hear that like from 50 yards away. 182 00:08:51,603 --> 00:08:53,730 "I hate fuckin' guy." You know, stuff like that. 183 00:08:53,813 --> 00:08:56,316 - You can hear that? - Everybody, supper's ready. 184 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,443 - Let's go, let's eat. - Come on, cousin. 185 00:08:58,526 --> 00:09:00,487 All right, I'm up. 186 00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:03,490 Sit wherever you want. Jeff, I want you there. 187 00:09:04,032 --> 00:09:06,117 - Freddy, perfect. - Thank you. 188 00:09:06,618 --> 00:09:07,911 Cassie, you sit there. 189 00:09:07,994 --> 00:09:09,955 All right, I guess I'll sit here. 190 00:09:10,622 --> 00:09:12,499 Look at this. Look at your leopard... 191 00:09:12,582 --> 00:09:15,752 So, listen, I'm so happy to have you all here. I want to do a toast. 192 00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:18,421 I just want to say thank you all for coming. 193 00:09:19,005 --> 00:09:21,591 And I want to make a toast to friendship. 194 00:09:23,176 --> 00:09:24,552 Yes, to friendship. 195 00:09:24,678 --> 00:09:26,471 To friendship and to be with everyone. 196 00:09:26,596 --> 00:09:32,143 - Cassie, Harry. - Cheers. 197 00:09:32,477 --> 00:09:35,689 Larry, you can't look me in the eye and toast? 198 00:09:35,772 --> 00:09:37,315 - Look you in the eye? - Yeah. 199 00:09:37,399 --> 00:09:39,567 - Towards what end? - Because that's what people do. 200 00:09:39,651 --> 00:09:42,654 - They look each other in the eye. - What is this, a séance? 201 00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:44,990 We're raising people from the dead? Come on, give me a break. 202 00:09:45,115 --> 00:09:47,367 No, we're connecting and having some intimacy. 203 00:09:47,492 --> 00:09:49,452 I don't need to connect. I'm connected. 204 00:09:49,536 --> 00:09:51,246 - What are you afraid of? - What does it do? 205 00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,415 You're saying, hello, I see you. 206 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,710 I acknowledge you. I connect with you. 207 00:09:57,627 --> 00:10:02,549 Hello. I see you. I acknowledge you. 208 00:10:02,632 --> 00:10:04,509 I connect with you. 209 00:10:05,385 --> 00:10:08,555 Very funny. You made your point. I think you're rude. 210 00:10:08,638 --> 00:10:11,850 - You see how stupid it is? - Yeah. I think you're rude. 211 00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:15,687 So I'm in a bookstore the other day, okay? 212 00:10:16,062 --> 00:10:18,481 And I'm looking for a book about Eleanor Roosevelt, okay? 213 00:10:18,565 --> 00:10:21,735 And I'm looking, and I'm looking under R, nothing. 214 00:10:21,985 --> 00:10:25,238 I go to the Es, a book on Eleanor Roosevelt. 215 00:10:25,322 --> 00:10:28,116 It was crazy. It was nuts. Can you imagine? 216 00:10:29,451 --> 00:10:32,203 You know what could've happened, I'm not saying it's definite, 217 00:10:32,287 --> 00:10:35,498 but maybe somebody new was working, 218 00:10:35,582 --> 00:10:38,335 maybe somebody younger, and they just didn't know. 219 00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:39,544 You know, that's true. 220 00:10:39,628 --> 00:10:45,216 I saw people there, some in their 20s, 30s too, couple. 221 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:48,970 - Okay, maybe it's forgivable. - The important thing is you found it. 222 00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:50,388 I did. 223 00:10:50,472 --> 00:10:52,515 And now you're reading it, and that's great. 224 00:10:52,599 --> 00:10:55,185 They don't know the Dewey Decimal system anymore. 225 00:10:55,268 --> 00:10:57,103 They're not going to libraries. 226 00:10:57,187 --> 00:10:58,813 They're going on their computer. 227 00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:01,274 I decided to go to a bookstore and not go online. 228 00:11:01,358 --> 00:11:04,861 - Have you seen this? - We could get reclaimed wood. 229 00:11:04,945 --> 00:11:06,237 If you're doing a big room, 230 00:11:06,321 --> 00:11:08,907 sometimes they don't have enough of the same stuff that matches. 231 00:11:09,032 --> 00:11:10,742 If you go to the right supplier, you do. 232 00:11:10,825 --> 00:11:14,245 I'll tell you what I was thinking too. There's a thing. There's resin, okay? 233 00:11:14,329 --> 00:11:15,997 - It's two polymers... - Is it resin or rah-sin? 234 00:11:16,081 --> 00:11:19,000 - No, it's resin, R-E-S-I-N. - What does it look like? 235 00:11:19,084 --> 00:11:21,336 I guess it's whatever you want it to. 236 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,296 Cheryl, have you had to put any new wood in 237 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,924 or flooring in your house at all? 238 00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:28,510 No. 239 00:11:28,593 --> 00:11:31,471 That's another thing we haven't decided, dark wood, light wood. 240 00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:34,766 Maybe it could stain the mahogany. But that would be silly. 241 00:11:34,849 --> 00:11:36,893 Larry, will you meet me in the kitchen for a second? 242 00:11:36,977 --> 00:11:38,979 - I need your help with something. - Sure. 243 00:11:39,062 --> 00:11:43,358 - I like the tiles that look like wood. - If you get heavy, heavy wood... 244 00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:46,528 - It's a fuckin' nightmare. - Yeah. This is a disaster. 245 00:11:46,611 --> 00:11:49,614 It's a complete disaster. My dinner party, done. 246 00:11:49,698 --> 00:11:51,950 Because Andy and Cassie are in the middle. 247 00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:54,119 - That's what it is. - And they can't middle. 248 00:11:54,202 --> 00:11:56,162 You have to be able to carry the conversation. 249 00:11:56,246 --> 00:11:59,124 You have to be interesting. You're the point guard there. 250 00:11:59,207 --> 00:12:02,669 - You're distributing the ball. - They can't fucking middle. 251 00:12:02,752 --> 00:12:04,170 Look it now. 252 00:12:04,254 --> 00:12:07,549 Andy loves it. I love it. Skylar loves it. I can't believe it. 253 00:12:07,632 --> 00:12:09,759 - Do you like fishing, Cheryl? - No. 254 00:12:09,843 --> 00:12:13,680 Oh my God, fishing! Can we save this? 255 00:12:13,763 --> 00:12:16,099 - I'll take care of it. - Thank you, Larry. 256 00:12:16,182 --> 00:12:18,101 It's the bucket of bait, okay? 257 00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:20,895 Which is called chum, I don't know why. 258 00:12:20,979 --> 00:12:24,983 And she takes it, and she puts it onto the hook. 259 00:12:25,525 --> 00:12:26,818 She knew what she was doing. 260 00:12:26,943 --> 00:12:28,653 She was born to it. She's great. 261 00:12:28,737 --> 00:12:31,906 Okay. I'm sorry. This dinner is not going very well. 262 00:12:32,157 --> 00:12:34,826 And the reason it's not going well 263 00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:37,787 is because the wrong people are in the middle. 264 00:12:38,705 --> 00:12:40,790 - What? - Yeah. You can't handle the middle. 265 00:12:40,915 --> 00:12:42,000 You're not a middler. 266 00:12:42,083 --> 00:12:44,919 Andy, not everybody has the personality for the middle. 267 00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:47,631 It's very presumptuous of you to even be sitting here. 268 00:12:47,714 --> 00:12:49,633 Freddy happens to be a great middle, I know that. 269 00:12:49,716 --> 00:12:52,802 I'd like Freddy and Cassie to switch, and Andy and Larry. 270 00:12:53,053 --> 00:12:56,306 I have told these stories before and gotten laughs. 271 00:12:56,389 --> 00:12:58,683 - Thank you, Cheryl. - You're welcome. 272 00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:02,604 - Let me just finish the story. - No. No more boat. 273 00:13:03,647 --> 00:13:07,692 All right. This is how you middle, okay? 274 00:13:08,318 --> 00:13:11,196 - Guess who I ran into today? - Who? 275 00:13:11,279 --> 00:13:14,032 - Callie Lang. - Get outta here. 276 00:13:16,076 --> 00:13:19,079 I thought she was dead, stage 4, man. 277 00:13:19,162 --> 00:13:21,957 No. She survived her cancer. She's okay. 278 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,292 She's living in Bend, Oregon. 279 00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:25,752 - Really? - Bend, Oregon? 280 00:13:25,835 --> 00:13:28,505 I got to tell ya, some of the best advice I ever got in my life 281 00:13:28,588 --> 00:13:29,756 was from Callie Lang. 282 00:13:29,839 --> 00:13:32,801 When I was starting the business, you may forget this, but I was deciding, 283 00:13:32,884 --> 00:13:35,011 do I go chairs, or do I go mattresses? 284 00:13:35,095 --> 00:13:38,390 And she said, "Freddy, not everybody wants to sit". 285 00:13:38,473 --> 00:13:40,725 - "But everybody's got to sleep." - That's right! 286 00:13:40,809 --> 00:13:42,143 And I never looked back. 287 00:13:42,227 --> 00:13:44,771 I think I listened to it because she was stage 4. 288 00:13:44,854 --> 00:13:46,398 It had like an impact to it. 289 00:13:47,232 --> 00:13:50,860 I had the same sort of experience with her because she was stage 4. 290 00:13:50,944 --> 00:13:53,989 We were having a long talk, and she gave me some very good advice. 291 00:13:54,072 --> 00:13:56,658 And she said: "Don't ever sign a prenup." 292 00:13:57,409 --> 00:13:59,577 And I didn't. And it was very good advice. 293 00:13:59,661 --> 00:14:01,579 That worked out very well for you, Cheryl. 294 00:14:01,663 --> 00:14:03,290 It did. She was smart about that. 295 00:14:03,373 --> 00:14:06,918 She was a sage. She gave me some advice when she was stage 4. 296 00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:09,379 She's the one who you told you not to sign a prenup? 297 00:14:09,462 --> 00:14:13,883 Yes. She had some sort of perspective that other people don't have. 298 00:14:14,259 --> 00:14:16,636 - It's good advice. - You know what she did for us, Jeff? 299 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,888 Do you remember, we were going through that really rough patch, 300 00:14:18,972 --> 00:14:20,557 and we were gonna split? 301 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,893 And she said, "Work it out. You guys are meant for each other." 302 00:14:23,977 --> 00:14:27,063 "You're gonna have a long, wonderful life and a marriage." 303 00:14:27,147 --> 00:14:29,691 Cheers to that. This is a great conversation. 304 00:14:30,275 --> 00:14:33,486 - Bravo to you and to you guys. - I'm happy for you. 305 00:14:33,612 --> 00:14:36,364 Let me ask you this question, what about stage 3 advice? What do you do? 306 00:14:36,448 --> 00:14:39,159 - And death is not looming? - What percentage? 307 00:14:39,326 --> 00:14:40,368 20 percent. 308 00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:42,495 You listen 20 percent. What about you? 309 00:14:42,579 --> 00:14:44,789 - 60/40. - 60/40. Freddy. 310 00:14:44,873 --> 00:14:47,417 That's a true coin flip for me. I could go either way with that one. 311 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,587 - Harry. - I listen but grain of salt. 312 00:14:51,212 --> 00:14:55,342 You couldn't pay me to listen to advice from a stage 3. 313 00:14:55,508 --> 00:14:57,093 Stage 4 only. 314 00:14:57,218 --> 00:14:59,846 Stage 3 doesn't get his ear. I don't believe it. 315 00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:06,895 You're good. You're very good. 316 00:15:16,988 --> 00:15:18,198 What is this? 317 00:15:18,406 --> 00:15:20,283 Remember that woman that I was texting with? 318 00:15:20,408 --> 00:15:23,954 You said I should tell her that I'm doing a hot dog eating contest? 319 00:15:24,037 --> 00:15:25,205 Yeah. What happened? 320 00:15:25,288 --> 00:15:26,623 She believed me. 321 00:15:26,706 --> 00:15:27,916 Oh my God, you're kidding. 322 00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:30,168 - No, I'm not. - How could she believe that? 323 00:15:30,251 --> 00:15:32,003 It's a joke. 324 00:15:32,128 --> 00:15:36,508 But you know what happened was you gave me a lie so fucking crazy 325 00:15:36,591 --> 00:15:39,135 that she's like, well, why would he lie about this? 326 00:15:39,219 --> 00:15:40,553 This has to be true. 327 00:15:40,637 --> 00:15:44,933 Who's the guy that said the bigger the lie, the more they believe it? 328 00:15:45,016 --> 00:15:46,893 Goebbels. 329 00:15:46,977 --> 00:15:49,354 Yeah, you gave me a Goebbels level lie. 330 00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:51,564 - Seriously? - Yeah. 331 00:15:51,856 --> 00:15:54,985 Are you saying I achieved Goebbels lying status? 332 00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:57,654 - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause Goebbels is the GOAT. 333 00:15:57,737 --> 00:15:59,990 And you know what happens when you use a lie from the GOAT? 334 00:16:00,073 --> 00:16:03,159 Not only did she believe it, but she's impressed. 335 00:16:03,243 --> 00:16:05,996 She's like obsessed with it now. She texts me all day. 336 00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:09,874 "When did you get into hot dogs? Do you like pork or beef?" 337 00:16:10,583 --> 00:16:12,919 I'm so paranoid she's gonna come over to my place, 338 00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:15,380 I had to go to Eagle Rock to a little trophy store, 339 00:16:15,463 --> 00:16:19,509 have a trophy made up for a hot dog eating contest that I won in 1998 340 00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:20,677 that I was never in. 341 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,512 What are you gonna do about the hot dog eating contest? 342 00:16:22,595 --> 00:16:24,097 You're gonna be in the contest? 343 00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:27,767 Fuck no. I'm gonna keep this going as long as I can. 344 00:16:27,851 --> 00:16:29,561 Hopefully, we can hook up, 345 00:16:29,644 --> 00:16:32,272 and then I can have my doctor text me or call me and say, 346 00:16:32,355 --> 00:16:36,359 "because of your health, I'm gonna have to recommend that you drop out". 347 00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:38,695 I got to make up a doctor now. 348 00:16:38,778 --> 00:16:40,030 - By the way... - What? 349 00:16:40,155 --> 00:16:43,033 I wouldn't be so fast to drop the hot dog eating. 350 00:16:43,116 --> 00:16:47,787 Clearly, this is the best thing you've got going for ya. 351 00:16:47,871 --> 00:16:51,499 Yeah, well, here's your taxes. Enjoy your refund, Goebbels. 352 00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:54,377 Sorry, Harry. I did the best I could. 353 00:16:54,461 --> 00:16:56,254 Yeah, well, you did too good. 354 00:16:58,465 --> 00:17:02,177 - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey, hey, hey. My man. 355 00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:05,013 Hey, what's happening in Mary Ferguson town? 356 00:17:05,430 --> 00:17:08,183 I'm having a hard time finding a new Mary Ferguson. 357 00:17:08,266 --> 00:17:09,768 I'm surprised you found two. 358 00:17:09,851 --> 00:17:13,104 Let me show you my ad for the brand new one. Loot at this shit. 359 00:17:13,438 --> 00:17:17,192 Do you love adventure? Do you want to travel to Asia for free? 360 00:17:17,275 --> 00:17:18,944 Is your name Mary Ferguson? 361 00:17:19,027 --> 00:17:21,613 If the answer to all three of these questions is yes, 362 00:17:21,696 --> 00:17:24,699 then contact Leon Black. Perfect. 363 00:17:24,783 --> 00:17:27,869 I'm thinking about adding, I ain't about that bullshit. 364 00:17:28,703 --> 00:17:32,499 Yeah. Put it in. That'll be a big sell. 365 00:17:32,707 --> 00:17:35,710 - That'll sell 'em, for sure. - I'm posting this shit everywhere. 366 00:17:35,794 --> 00:17:38,213 You know how a motherfucker lose their dog? 367 00:17:38,296 --> 00:17:41,841 I'm putting this shit on fuckin' telephone poles and trees and shit. 368 00:17:41,925 --> 00:17:45,303 Who's looking at trees? Nobody's walking on the street looking at trees. 369 00:17:45,387 --> 00:17:46,888 The nicest people in the world 370 00:17:46,972 --> 00:17:50,475 are people who will return a fuckin' dog to you. 371 00:17:50,558 --> 00:17:53,103 Who's not gonna return a dog? What kind of asshole? 372 00:17:53,186 --> 00:17:55,480 I kept a dog for six years one time I found. 373 00:17:55,563 --> 00:17:57,857 What? Did it have a collar? Was there a number to call? 374 00:17:57,941 --> 00:17:59,276 Fuck yeah! It had all the goodies. 375 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,071 - So why didn't you call? - 'Cause I fucking liked the dog. 376 00:18:03,196 --> 00:18:06,491 You know how many times I walked by the sign on the fuckin' tree that said, 377 00:18:06,574 --> 00:18:09,160 "lost dog", and it was this motherfucker right here? 378 00:18:09,703 --> 00:18:11,830 - That's cruel. - But I loved that motherfuckin' dog. 379 00:18:11,913 --> 00:18:15,000 By the way, I got an idea that might be perfect for your fuckin' mini bar. 380 00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:16,167 Really? 381 00:18:16,251 --> 00:18:18,253 People go to hotels to fuck, you understand? 382 00:18:18,336 --> 00:18:21,464 I understand, but that's not necessarily true. But go ahead. 383 00:18:21,548 --> 00:18:24,551 So I take all the elements of a ED pill, 384 00:18:24,634 --> 00:18:29,264 and I infuse it into a beverage. I call it "Tap Water". 385 00:18:29,556 --> 00:18:31,349 - Tap Water? - Based on tapping that ass. 386 00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:34,394 - I understand what it's based on. - That's what people go to hotels to do. 387 00:18:34,477 --> 00:18:36,855 Just like an energy drink for your dick. 388 00:18:36,938 --> 00:18:38,690 I really think you're onto something here. 389 00:18:38,773 --> 00:18:40,692 - Good idea, right? - One of your best. 390 00:18:40,775 --> 00:18:44,779 Hey, man, you're missin' out. People love to stay hydrated and fuck. 391 00:18:47,282 --> 00:18:49,701 - There he is. - Geez. 392 00:18:49,951 --> 00:18:51,286 - How are ya? - What is this? 393 00:18:51,369 --> 00:18:54,956 We were just takin' a walk. It's a beautiful day. 394 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,209 Thought we'd stop by, say hello, and if you want to join us, come. 395 00:18:59,210 --> 00:19:02,130 I don't really like a purposeless walk. But thank you. 396 00:19:02,213 --> 00:19:05,425 What does that mean, a purposeless walk? The walk is the purpose. 397 00:19:05,508 --> 00:19:09,554 The walk has to be the secondary activity, not the primary activity. 398 00:19:09,638 --> 00:19:12,932 For example, you walk on a golf course, it's a secondary activity. 399 00:19:13,016 --> 00:19:15,101 The primary activity is the golf. 400 00:19:15,185 --> 00:19:16,936 Okay. All right. She has something to ask. 401 00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:19,147 We're having a dinner party in two nights, 402 00:19:19,230 --> 00:19:22,275 and we would really like it if you would middle, please. 403 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,611 - Please. - When is it? 404 00:19:25,028 --> 00:19:26,738 Thursday night. 405 00:19:29,032 --> 00:19:30,617 - Why? Come on. - I can't. 406 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,161 - Come on. Why not? - Why? 407 00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:38,375 Because I'm in a hot dog eating contest the next day. 408 00:19:38,458 --> 00:19:40,919 Larry, shut up. No, you're not. 409 00:19:41,002 --> 00:19:43,171 Seriously, I'm in a hot dog eating contest the next day, 410 00:19:43,254 --> 00:19:44,881 and I can't eat that night. 411 00:19:45,548 --> 00:19:46,675 Yeah. 412 00:19:46,758 --> 00:19:48,635 What if you just come and you don't eat? 413 00:19:48,718 --> 00:19:53,056 You can't sit in a table and not eat. You feel crazy. 414 00:19:54,599 --> 00:19:56,810 Anyway, I got to go pick up somebody up. 415 00:19:56,893 --> 00:19:59,312 - I gotta get going. - Okay. 416 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,361 Hi, guys. Come in, come in. 417 00:20:06,444 --> 00:20:08,154 Maria Sofia, this is Cheryl. 418 00:20:08,238 --> 00:20:09,781 Hi, Maria Sofia. 419 00:20:09,864 --> 00:20:12,242 Really nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. 420 00:20:12,325 --> 00:20:15,578 Nice to meet you too. This house, beautiful. 421 00:20:15,662 --> 00:20:18,456 You got your bag in the divorce. 422 00:20:18,832 --> 00:20:25,046 Okay. This is my little makeshift studio. You can put your stuff down. 423 00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:27,549 - Thank you. - I'll be there in one second. 424 00:20:29,175 --> 00:20:31,136 - Good luck. - Thank you. 425 00:20:34,306 --> 00:20:35,765 Yes! 426 00:20:35,849 --> 00:20:39,019 Okay, Maria Sofia. I'm gonna record this. 427 00:20:39,102 --> 00:20:42,606 And pretend like this is not even here, okay? 428 00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:44,232 Okay. 429 00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:46,776 Marsha, come out here. I want to talk to you. 430 00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:50,947 Marsha steps out into the balcony, weaving through the billowing laundry. 431 00:20:51,489 --> 00:20:56,745 You don't need to read that. That is just an action line. 432 00:20:56,828 --> 00:20:59,664 Sorry, that was weird. Let's start from the beginning. 433 00:20:59,748 --> 00:21:02,000 Marsha, come out here. I want to talk to you. 434 00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:04,461 - I'm right here! - Stop screaming. 435 00:21:04,628 --> 00:21:06,463 I wasn't screaming! 436 00:21:06,755 --> 00:21:11,092 Okay, also, if it's in parenthesis, you shouldn't say it either. 437 00:21:11,176 --> 00:21:12,844 Fine, I got it. I got it. 438 00:21:12,969 --> 00:21:16,264 Okay. I wanted to talk to you about that David boy. 439 00:21:17,015 --> 00:21:19,851 - Larry. - Yeah, that's his name. 440 00:21:19,934 --> 00:21:22,896 - Larry David. - Well, what about him? 441 00:21:23,438 --> 00:21:25,565 I feel like you're being seductive right now. 442 00:21:25,649 --> 00:21:29,653 - You're talking to your mother. - Are we not close? 443 00:21:29,736 --> 00:21:31,947 In real life, do you ever talk to your mother like that? 444 00:21:32,030 --> 00:21:35,533 No, I don't seduce my mom. What is wrong with you? God. 445 00:21:35,992 --> 00:21:38,745 I'm talking to her about my boyfriend, aren't I? 446 00:21:39,079 --> 00:21:42,499 I don't really care for him. I think he's mentally disturbed. 447 00:21:42,582 --> 00:21:46,503 He's not mentally disturbed. And the worm. 448 00:21:47,170 --> 00:21:48,964 I saw that choice that you made, 449 00:21:49,089 --> 00:21:51,341 and maybe it's time to make a new choice. 450 00:21:51,424 --> 00:21:53,218 - Like what kind of dance? - No, not... 451 00:21:53,301 --> 00:21:55,220 You want a little bit of salsa? 452 00:21:55,303 --> 00:21:57,138 Let's just keep going. 453 00:21:57,722 --> 00:22:01,017 You want bald children with no brains, go right ahead. 454 00:22:01,101 --> 00:22:03,269 I don't have to listen to you. 455 00:22:03,478 --> 00:22:05,230 If I want to see Larry, 456 00:22:05,730 --> 00:22:11,695 I will see Larry. 457 00:22:15,156 --> 00:22:16,491 Let's just take five. 458 00:22:16,866 --> 00:22:19,786 You'd be surprised what motherfucker's like in a mini bar. 459 00:22:20,370 --> 00:22:22,455 - Black licorice. - Perfect. 460 00:22:22,539 --> 00:22:25,917 Yeah. I think so. Okay, we got our first item. 461 00:22:26,001 --> 00:22:28,378 - Olives. - Black or green or both? 462 00:22:28,628 --> 00:22:29,713 Maybe both. 463 00:22:29,838 --> 00:22:32,841 Fuckin' mushroom jerky. They jerked a fuckin' mushroom. 464 00:22:33,425 --> 00:22:36,636 Figs. I can't even believe how good this is. 465 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,388 Already, we're packed. 466 00:22:39,014 --> 00:22:41,683 - Fudge! - Wasabi-flavored peas. 467 00:22:42,309 --> 00:22:44,894 This is the best mini bar of all time. 468 00:22:49,774 --> 00:22:50,859 Hello? 469 00:22:50,984 --> 00:22:54,654 Hey, yeah, I left my jacket at your ex-wife's house. 470 00:22:54,988 --> 00:22:58,158 Can you call her and just see if she can look for it? 471 00:22:58,241 --> 00:22:59,451 All right, hold on. 472 00:22:59,534 --> 00:23:00,744 Okay, thank you. 473 00:23:01,953 --> 00:23:03,705 - Hey. - Hey, it's me. 474 00:23:03,788 --> 00:23:06,499 So Maria Sofia called me. 475 00:23:06,583 --> 00:23:08,793 She thinks she left her jacket at your house. 476 00:23:08,877 --> 00:23:12,297 I'm pretty sure it's not here. I haven't seen any jacket. 477 00:23:12,380 --> 00:23:15,091 - Okay. All right. Thanks. - Okay, bye. 478 00:23:15,508 --> 00:23:17,719 - It's not there. - No, it's there. 479 00:23:17,802 --> 00:23:19,095 She liked the flowers and shit, 480 00:23:19,179 --> 00:23:23,391 so maybe she doesn't want to actually look for it. 481 00:23:23,475 --> 00:23:26,561 What are you suggesting, that she's keeping your jacket? 482 00:23:26,645 --> 00:23:29,731 Well, she said she liked it. Now she's saying that she can't find it. 483 00:23:29,814 --> 00:23:31,274 So what am I supposed to think? 484 00:23:31,358 --> 00:23:33,860 Oh my God. Are you out of your mind? 485 00:23:33,944 --> 00:23:37,197 You know what, it's my jacket, and I'm gonna find it. 486 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:38,698 All right, okay. 487 00:23:44,037 --> 00:23:47,040 I hate to sound immodest, 488 00:23:47,123 --> 00:23:49,918 but I don't think you're gonna find a better mini bar display, 489 00:23:50,001 --> 00:23:53,713 not just in the country, in the world. This is just amazing stuff here. 490 00:23:56,174 --> 00:23:59,427 Do we love the sound of that? Wasabi peas! 491 00:23:59,511 --> 00:24:02,222 People love wasabi peas. They're gonna slide out that drawer. 492 00:24:02,305 --> 00:24:03,515 They're gonna freak out. 493 00:24:03,598 --> 00:24:06,851 They got peas, Wasabi peas! 494 00:24:06,977 --> 00:24:08,812 What else do we got here? Oh my God. 495 00:24:08,979 --> 00:24:14,192 What is this? It's a parmesan crisp. 496 00:24:14,276 --> 00:24:16,778 This is one of the world's great crackers. 497 00:24:16,861 --> 00:24:20,490 There's parmesan in this. You like parmesan? 498 00:24:21,074 --> 00:24:23,243 Freddy, I've seen you at Italian restaurants, 499 00:24:23,326 --> 00:24:26,329 going like this with parmesan cheese. Come on. 500 00:24:26,413 --> 00:24:28,039 And this, you're not gonna find anywhere. 501 00:24:28,123 --> 00:24:31,376 No, you're not gonna find that in a mini bar. 502 00:24:31,459 --> 00:24:34,421 Okay. Come on. Figs. 503 00:24:34,671 --> 00:24:37,299 You ever seen it in a mini bar? No. Of course not. Why? 504 00:24:37,382 --> 00:24:40,552 Nobody's thought of it. I have. 505 00:24:40,719 --> 00:24:43,638 - Do you like figs? - I wouldn't say I'm a fig guy. 506 00:24:43,722 --> 00:24:46,099 - You like figs? - I'm not a big fig fan. 507 00:24:46,182 --> 00:24:48,685 I'm giving you gold here. Figs. 508 00:24:48,768 --> 00:24:54,524 The coup de grâce, peppermint patty. 509 00:24:54,858 --> 00:24:58,486 - Classic. - You like a peppermint patty? 510 00:24:58,612 --> 00:25:02,198 I can't say I'm a big fan. I don't really like peppermint patties. 511 00:25:02,282 --> 00:25:05,660 What do you eat? What is your story? You don't seem to like anything. 512 00:25:05,744 --> 00:25:08,872 It doesn't matter what I like. It matters what our customers like. 513 00:25:08,955 --> 00:25:11,207 So here's the headline here, okay. 514 00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:14,127 We're liking this, but not loving it. 515 00:25:15,754 --> 00:25:16,880 What do you mean? Who? 516 00:25:16,963 --> 00:25:18,757 Well, we had a focus group in La Ca?ada. 517 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,052 And we let them enjoy the experience, and we got numbers on all of this stuff. 518 00:25:22,135 --> 00:25:23,637 Which can be helpful. 519 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,931 So like, if I talked to you about men over 25 on say the figs... 520 00:25:27,015 --> 00:25:29,059 About 15 percent would recommend it. 521 00:25:29,142 --> 00:25:30,852 Only about 15 percent of the men are liking it. 522 00:25:30,935 --> 00:25:34,147 If you deal with educated men, men that have four years of college? 523 00:25:34,230 --> 00:25:35,690 It's a little higher at 20 percent. 524 00:25:35,774 --> 00:25:38,276 But if we go to the uneducated men, you know, high school or less? 525 00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:39,986 Then it's lower, about 8 percent. 526 00:25:40,195 --> 00:25:44,491 What we want to try to do is we want everyone at least in the 70s, 80s. 527 00:25:45,033 --> 00:25:48,411 So the bottom line here is, we need a four-quadrant mini bar. 528 00:25:48,495 --> 00:25:54,668 Would you possibly be open to working and collaborating with a co-curator? 529 00:25:54,751 --> 00:25:56,252 Forget it, Freddy, it's not gonna happen. 530 00:25:56,336 --> 00:25:58,630 There's no co-curator. I'm the curator. 531 00:25:58,713 --> 00:26:01,049 This is my mini bar. These are my ideas. 532 00:26:01,132 --> 00:26:03,051 And if you don't like it, I go. 533 00:26:03,176 --> 00:26:04,803 I wish you could've been there in La Ca?ada 534 00:26:04,886 --> 00:26:07,138 'cause again, liking, just not loving the ideas. 535 00:26:07,222 --> 00:26:08,556 I think we're done. 536 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,100 Did you want to take home the numbers? 537 00:26:10,183 --> 00:26:12,310 I really don't. I'm really not interested. 538 00:26:12,394 --> 00:26:15,814 - I'm sorry that you feel that way. - Big mistake. You know what else? 539 00:26:15,897 --> 00:26:18,858 I don't want you using any of my ideas. I'll fuckin' sue you. 540 00:26:18,942 --> 00:26:22,195 You're just gonna be throwing your money away. 541 00:26:22,279 --> 00:26:23,905 You're gonna sue me for the peppermint patty? 542 00:26:23,989 --> 00:26:26,366 If you don't have the vision 543 00:26:26,449 --> 00:26:31,204 to know how amazing a Wasabi pea would be in a mini bar, 544 00:26:31,288 --> 00:26:34,291 I really don't want anything to do with you. Thank you for your time. 545 00:26:35,375 --> 00:26:37,294 All right, let's go with the other guy. 546 00:26:40,797 --> 00:26:42,048 - Hi. - Hey. 547 00:26:42,132 --> 00:26:45,093 - Hi, Maria Sofia. Come on in. - How are you? 548 00:26:45,176 --> 00:26:46,761 - I'm good. How are you? - Good. 549 00:26:46,845 --> 00:26:50,807 So listen, I've been doing a lot of studying, reading up on the Jews. 550 00:26:50,890 --> 00:26:52,017 They use their hands a lot. 551 00:26:52,100 --> 00:26:56,605 So I think I would do something like this. 552 00:26:57,147 --> 00:26:59,691 I don't think that's such a good idea. 553 00:27:00,150 --> 00:27:03,236 Okay. Why don't you go ahead and get comfortable in the studio? 554 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,698 - I will be there in a just a minute. - Good idea. 555 00:27:07,741 --> 00:27:09,826 Can I talk to you for a second? 556 00:27:12,787 --> 00:27:18,877 She is the worst actress I have ever seen in my life. 557 00:27:19,169 --> 00:27:20,545 An eating disorder? 558 00:27:20,629 --> 00:27:24,674 She reads her character's name before she reads the line. 559 00:27:24,758 --> 00:27:26,343 She reads the stage direction. 560 00:27:26,426 --> 00:27:29,304 Larry and Marsha sit at the table eating. 561 00:27:29,387 --> 00:27:32,474 She also does weird things with her body, physically. 562 00:27:32,557 --> 00:27:33,767 I mean, she's gyrating. 563 00:27:33,892 --> 00:27:37,812 She's practically saying her lines, and she's gyrating. Look at her. 564 00:27:37,896 --> 00:27:43,193 - Eat them latkesi! - She's so awful. 565 00:27:43,276 --> 00:27:46,488 Just get the best tape you can, and send it to casting, okay? 566 00:27:46,571 --> 00:27:47,906 Okay. 567 00:27:47,989 --> 00:27:49,699 She was wearing the yellow dress. 568 00:27:49,783 --> 00:27:53,828 Larry, she's gonna kill your show, like a cancer. 569 00:27:56,331 --> 00:27:57,457 Like a cancer. 570 00:27:57,540 --> 00:28:00,043 Oy vey, motherfuckers! 571 00:28:06,424 --> 00:28:10,387 You got it? Hey. 572 00:28:10,470 --> 00:28:13,306 Hey, what do you say? This is my friend, Jeff. 573 00:28:13,390 --> 00:28:14,975 - Hey, Jeff. - This is Marcos. 574 00:28:15,058 --> 00:28:19,688 He is the world's greatest taco connoisseur. 575 00:28:19,771 --> 00:28:21,648 - So they say. - Great, thanks for coming. 576 00:28:21,731 --> 00:28:23,191 My pleasure. 577 00:28:25,110 --> 00:28:27,487 - What? - Check out the menu. 578 00:28:27,570 --> 00:28:28,989 Okay. 579 00:28:31,241 --> 00:28:34,869 Poor guy. He's got cancer. 580 00:28:36,037 --> 00:28:37,872 And I feel so terrible for him. 581 00:28:37,956 --> 00:28:39,791 You know how bad it is? 582 00:28:40,750 --> 00:28:43,003 - Stage 4. - Man... 583 00:28:43,211 --> 00:28:47,507 Anyway, if you need any advice about anything at all, 584 00:28:47,590 --> 00:28:50,760 he's possessed with stage 4 wisdom. 585 00:28:51,428 --> 00:28:54,431 - Stage 4. - Yeah. He knows so much. 586 00:28:54,889 --> 00:28:57,100 You mind if I ask him some questions? 587 00:28:57,183 --> 00:28:59,060 Yeah, you should. 588 00:28:59,811 --> 00:29:01,646 - Hey, Jeff. - Yeah? 589 00:29:01,730 --> 00:29:05,275 I'm Marcos. I was wondering if I can ask you a question. 590 00:29:05,650 --> 00:29:07,319 Now is the time. 591 00:29:07,652 --> 00:29:10,822 This place is doing okay. It's just, I was wondering if you had 592 00:29:10,905 --> 00:29:13,742 any advice on taking it to the next level. 593 00:29:14,284 --> 00:29:17,329 - Do you serve breakfast? - We don't, no. 594 00:29:17,412 --> 00:29:21,833 That would be the addition you need. People love breakfast burritos. 595 00:29:22,083 --> 00:29:24,336 You'll never have anyone turn down a breakfast burrito. 596 00:29:24,419 --> 00:29:26,004 Oh my God, so true. 597 00:29:26,087 --> 00:29:28,423 - Want my own personal favorite? - Please. 598 00:29:28,506 --> 00:29:31,217 Waffle and a breakfast burrito. 599 00:29:31,301 --> 00:29:32,886 You wrap the waffle? 600 00:29:32,969 --> 00:29:37,223 You wrap the waffle amongst itself and rice pudding. 601 00:29:38,516 --> 00:29:41,978 And also, you're gonna have to do a lot of social media. 602 00:29:42,062 --> 00:29:43,980 I'm not good at it, you know? 603 00:29:44,105 --> 00:29:45,148 If you don't like it, 604 00:29:45,231 --> 00:29:48,777 maybe you have a son or a daughter who enjoys social media. 605 00:29:48,860 --> 00:29:51,613 I do have a daughter, but she doesn't have time for that stuff. 606 00:29:51,696 --> 00:29:53,448 She's gonna be an actress. 607 00:29:53,531 --> 00:29:55,951 You know, I've been in show business a long time. 608 00:29:56,034 --> 00:29:59,871 And I'm gonna tell you something that I tell every parent. 609 00:30:00,038 --> 00:30:04,334 Don't do it. Don't allow your child to be an actress. 610 00:30:04,417 --> 00:30:05,460 Really? 611 00:30:05,543 --> 00:30:08,046 I've met many a good young actress 612 00:30:08,129 --> 00:30:12,759 whose life has been ruined by the business. That's what I feel. 613 00:30:14,803 --> 00:30:16,805 - Thank you. - Sure. 614 00:30:17,055 --> 00:30:22,185 Man, I thought she was gonna be a star. But I guess I was wrong. 615 00:30:23,395 --> 00:30:27,357 - What are you gonna do? - Now, how about that taco? 616 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,567 - I'll get you guys a taco. - Thank you. 617 00:30:33,113 --> 00:30:34,322 What can I get you guys? 618 00:30:35,198 --> 00:30:39,494 Okay, so what's really important about this is the emotion behind it. 619 00:30:39,577 --> 00:30:42,539 Think about something that makes you mad while you're reading this scene. 620 00:30:42,622 --> 00:30:44,958 - Can you do that? - Yeah. 621 00:30:45,041 --> 00:30:48,712 You've got a good attitude. Let's do it from there then. 622 00:30:50,130 --> 00:30:52,716 He's got mailman written all over him. 623 00:30:52,799 --> 00:30:55,802 You want bald children with no brains, go right ahead. 624 00:30:55,885 --> 00:31:00,223 I don't have to listen to you! If I want to see Larry, 625 00:31:00,682 --> 00:31:04,853 I am gonna see Larry. You are a horrible mother. 626 00:31:05,478 --> 00:31:07,480 I never want to see you again. 627 00:31:08,940 --> 00:31:11,985 And I know that you stole my jacket. 628 00:31:12,068 --> 00:31:14,404 - What are you talking about? - Back up. Don't touch me. 629 00:31:14,487 --> 00:31:19,451 What are you saying? I don't know what you're talking about! 630 00:31:21,286 --> 00:31:24,122 What are you doing? Let her go! 631 00:31:24,497 --> 00:31:26,166 Get off me, Uncle Moe. 632 00:31:28,418 --> 00:31:30,295 What is wrong with you? 633 00:31:31,338 --> 00:31:35,634 Hang on, Cheryl! Cheryl! I'm coming. 634 00:31:36,468 --> 00:31:38,887 - I want my jacket back! - Let her go! 635 00:31:40,597 --> 00:31:43,767 Uncle Moe, I want my jacket back! 636 00:31:43,850 --> 00:31:46,645 Bring it on. I can take both of you! 637 00:31:47,187 --> 00:31:50,607 - Okay. Dinner is served. - Here you go, please. 638 00:31:50,690 --> 00:31:53,276 Take a seat. We have no place cards. 639 00:31:53,610 --> 00:31:55,695 - Sit wherever you'd like. - Right here. 640 00:31:55,779 --> 00:31:58,281 Susie, would you mind sitting in the middle? 641 00:31:58,365 --> 00:32:00,867 No, I'd rather sit here. I don't want to middle. 642 00:32:01,034 --> 00:32:03,745 - Cheryl, please. - I'm gonna sit next to Susie. 643 00:32:03,828 --> 00:32:06,164 No, Andy, thank you. 644 00:32:06,247 --> 00:32:09,751 - Greg, please. - No, we're good. I'm left handed. 645 00:32:10,710 --> 00:32:12,629 Harry, if you'd like to... 646 00:32:12,712 --> 00:32:16,132 I really don't feel like middling. I probably can't see over those. 647 00:32:16,216 --> 00:32:18,802 Where is Larry? He is the middle. Larry should be the middle. 648 00:32:18,885 --> 00:32:21,471 - I know. He's a great middle. - He's supposed to be here. 649 00:32:21,554 --> 00:32:25,016 He has a hot dog eating contest tomorrow morning. 650 00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:28,478 Wait. Is it the same one you're in, Harry? 651 00:32:29,062 --> 00:32:34,609 It's... I'm doing a hot dog eating contest with Larry tomorrow. 652 00:32:34,693 --> 00:32:35,819 - You are? - I am. 653 00:32:35,902 --> 00:32:40,156 - I'd love to see that. - No, you don't. 654 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,451 Please. Oh my God, I would love to see it. 655 00:32:47,372 --> 00:32:48,707 All right. Yeah. 656 00:32:48,790 --> 00:32:51,001 Oh my God. This is gonna be so fun. 657 00:32:51,084 --> 00:32:53,086 Harry, why don't you grab a seat in the middle, 658 00:32:53,169 --> 00:32:55,213 and you could tell us all how it came about? 659 00:32:55,297 --> 00:32:56,881 But you better not eat anything. 660 00:32:56,965 --> 00:32:58,633 Great, come on, over here. 661 00:33:03,013 --> 00:33:05,724 So how we doing so far? And I mean, J to J. 662 00:33:05,807 --> 00:33:08,935 - We're delighted. - Delighted, happy. All of it. 663 00:33:09,019 --> 00:33:13,064 Great. And I hope we're in agreement about Maria Sofia 664 00:33:13,148 --> 00:33:14,482 because we watched her video. 665 00:33:15,150 --> 00:33:18,194 And we didn't like it. 666 00:33:19,571 --> 00:33:20,739 It happens. 667 00:33:20,822 --> 00:33:22,073 We loved it. 668 00:33:22,616 --> 00:33:25,952 - We flipped for it. She's incredible. - The passion. 669 00:33:27,454 --> 00:33:30,665 - Well, I'm glad you liked it, but... - I got to see it again. 670 00:33:30,749 --> 00:33:33,460 I'm sorry. Let me just show you this. 671 00:33:33,585 --> 00:33:36,129 We've been watching it all morning and just dying from it. 672 00:33:36,212 --> 00:33:37,339 Let's just watch it. 673 00:33:37,422 --> 00:33:39,507 I never want to see you again. 674 00:33:41,259 --> 00:33:44,429 And I know you stole my jacket! 675 00:33:44,512 --> 00:33:45,555 That is acting. 676 00:33:45,639 --> 00:33:48,308 I swear, I actually believe she got her jacket stolen. 677 00:33:48,391 --> 00:33:53,021 She did, yeah. No, she really did. 678 00:33:53,104 --> 00:33:54,522 And look at the physical comedy. 679 00:33:54,606 --> 00:33:57,859 That's not comedy. She actually is in a fight. 680 00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,819 You can't teach that. 681 00:34:01,279 --> 00:34:02,989 Here comes Ted. 682 00:34:03,281 --> 00:34:05,200 There he is. And there he goes. 683 00:34:05,533 --> 00:34:07,786 What a takedown. Maria steals it. 684 00:34:07,869 --> 00:34:09,287 She steals the whole damn thing. 685 00:34:09,371 --> 00:34:11,498 She's not stealing anything. He doesn't know what to do 686 00:34:11,581 --> 00:34:14,793 'cause his girlfriend's getting pummeled by this maniac short order cook! 687 00:34:14,876 --> 00:34:17,253 All right. Can you turn it off? 688 00:34:19,965 --> 00:34:21,174 That's the show. 689 00:34:21,257 --> 00:34:25,595 Alas, she's not gonna be able to do the show. 690 00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:28,598 She's quitting acting. Her father's not letting her do it anymore. 691 00:34:28,682 --> 00:34:30,892 - It's sad. It's a shame. - Okay, here's the thing. 692 00:34:30,976 --> 00:34:34,646 I called her to tell her that I was floored by this audition. 693 00:34:34,729 --> 00:34:36,106 - You called who? - Maria. 694 00:34:36,314 --> 00:34:38,275 Her dad gets on the phone, a mensch, by the way. 695 00:34:38,358 --> 00:34:40,902 And she's back. She's in. 696 00:34:40,986 --> 00:34:43,488 - You called her father? - It's all good. 697 00:34:47,075 --> 00:34:49,035 What's the matter? 698 00:34:53,915 --> 00:34:56,209 - Is he mad? - A little. 699 00:35:02,757 --> 00:35:05,844 And now the moment you've all been waiting for. 700 00:35:05,927 --> 00:35:08,805 First Friday's Frankfurter Fest! 701 00:35:09,889 --> 00:35:12,601 - I don't get you. I really don't. - You don't get me? 702 00:35:12,684 --> 00:35:13,768 Yeah. 703 00:35:15,020 --> 00:35:16,730 Why'd you tell 'em they can come? 704 00:35:16,813 --> 00:35:20,150 'Cause they got excited because of a text you told me to fuckin' send. 705 00:35:20,233 --> 00:35:22,944 So you say no. You can't come. 706 00:35:23,028 --> 00:35:24,696 I'm nervous eating hot dogs in front of people. 707 00:35:24,821 --> 00:35:26,323 And then neither one of us will be here now. 708 00:35:26,448 --> 00:35:28,825 A fuckin' girl that I'm excited about now is excited to see me. 709 00:35:28,908 --> 00:35:31,202 She's stroking my arm. And I'm gonna go, no, don't do that. 710 00:35:31,286 --> 00:35:33,705 You're a big celebrity now that you're in a hot dog eating contest. 711 00:35:33,788 --> 00:35:35,832 I'm not a fuckin' big celebrity. But she was excited. 712 00:35:35,999 --> 00:35:37,167 You told them. 713 00:35:37,250 --> 00:35:41,254 I told them because it worked on one idiot. And it worked again. 714 00:35:41,338 --> 00:35:44,799 You're the one that told me to send the text. God damn it! 715 00:35:48,511 --> 00:35:51,014 Eat it! Come on!