﻿1
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["HOME COMPUTER" BY KRAFTWERK PLAYING]

2
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♪ I program my home computer ♪

3
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♪ Beam myself into the future. ♪

4
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ADULT SHELDON: <i>Power has
always been a deadly narcotic,</i>

5
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<i>and in 1989,</i>

6
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<i>RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL</i>

7
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<i>was my drug of choice.</i>

8
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<i>With an Intel 8086</i>

9
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<i>running at eight megahertz</i>

10
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<i>and a five-and-a-quarter-inch
floppy drive,</i>

11
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<i>there was nothing</i>

12
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:30,719
<i>I couldn't do.</i>

13
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<i>From adding snazzy graphics</i>

14
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<i>to my homework...</i>

15
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So snazzy.

16
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<i>To easily alphabetizing</i>

17
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<i>my list of enemies and their crimes.</i>

18
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- So easy.
- [DOOR SENSOR CHIMES]

19
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Sheldon, time to go.

20
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:49,319
We really need to get one of these.

21
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,529
What on earth do we need a computer for?

22
00:00:51,530 --> 00:00:53,499
Yeah, we got you and your big head.

23
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,769
But we can get so much accomplished.

24
00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:57,230
I could use a spreadsheet program

25
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,699
to keep track of your expenses.

26
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,409
I do that in the back of my checkbook.

27
00:01:00,410 --> 00:01:03,569
Yes, but does your checkbook
go "beep" when you open it?

28
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I don't think so.

29
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Plus, the computer

30
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can organize your recipes.

31
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,859
But my recipes<i> are</i> organized.

32
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On index cards.

33
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Like a cave person.

34
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Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that.

35
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[SIGHS] It doesn't matter, Sheldon.

36
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We can't afford a computer.

37
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Sure we can. It's only $998,

38
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and Dave says we can buy
it on easy monthly payments.

39
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That's true.

40
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Stay out of this, Dave.

41
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Come on.

42
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We got to get home.

43
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- But...
- Sheldon, I said no.

44
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I can make you a good deal

45
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on the floor model,

46
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Mrs. Cooper.

47
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Seriously, Dave, you're
getting on my nerves.

48
00:01:35,790 --> 00:01:37,009
It's not fair.

49
00:01:37,010 --> 00:01:38,809
You bought Missy a Ring Pop.

50
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For ten cents.

51
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- And I'm worth every penny.
- Let's go.

52
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:43,939
Sorry, Dave.

53
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We're living paycheck to paycheck.

54
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Move!

55
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[DOOR SENSOR CHIMES]

56
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

57
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

58
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

59
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

60
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

61
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- Ah, RadioShack.
- Ah, RadioShack.

62
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Here it is, the Tandy
1000 SL computer system.

63
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Sheldon was going on and
on about that thing today.

64
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I've never seen one so easy to use.

65
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FEMALE VOICE: Greetings. Need
directions back to your planet?

66
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This technology is more
advanced than we thought.

67
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GEORGE JR.: You know that movie <i>E.T.?</i>

68
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,220
The kid who finds him,
his name is Elliott,

69
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,429
which starts with an
"E" and ends with a "T."

70
00:02:29,430 --> 00:02:30,959
Coincidence?

71
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,559
I don't think so.

72
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,960
You're gonna live with
us forever, aren't you?

73
00:02:34,970 --> 00:02:37,579
So, Sheldon wants a computer?

74
00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:38,879
Ever since he could talk.

75
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,139
But now more than ever.

76
00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:41,779
Well, he should get a job after school.

77
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Save up and buy one.

78
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,620
Get a job? He's nine.

79
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,119
I mowed lawns when I was his age.

80
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Made pretty good money.

81
00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:49,379
You want Sheldon to mow lawns?

82
00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:51,449
He's so pale, five minutes in the sun,

83
00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:52,719
he'd burst into flames.

84
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I would pay to see that.

85
00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:55,619
Shut up, Georgie.

86
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:56,719
I hope you told him

87
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we can't afford it.

88
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Of course.

89
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I could buy it for him,

90
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and then y'all could
pay me back when you can.

91
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Okay, Connie, now
you're just insulting me.

92
00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:07,599
Well, that was not my intention,

93
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,269
but I'm glad to hear it.

94
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I can pay my own bills

95
00:03:10,630 --> 00:03:11,999
and take care of my family.

96
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,369
There are expenses we could cut back on

97
00:03:14,370 --> 00:03:16,039
so we could afford a computer.

98
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,789
You mean like the money
you give to church?

99
00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,939
No, I mean like the money you give

100
00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:21,709
to the Lone Star Beer company.

101
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[CHUCKLES] Good one, Mom.

102
00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:24,249
- Shut up.
- Shut up, pumpkin.

103
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We're not getting a computer.

104
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,449
We don't need your money.

105
00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:29,449
Where are you going?

106
00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:31,909
To get a... glass of milk.

107
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He's lying. He's getting a beer.

108
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Shut up, Georgie.

109
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[REFRIGERATOR OPENS]

110
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,169
Mom?

111
00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:46,739
Why are you still up?

112
00:03:46,740 --> 00:03:49,769
Madame Curie is on the roof,

113
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and she's not wearing her hat.

114
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You're just dreaming, baby.

115
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But she'll be cold without her hat.

116
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I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep.

117
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,619
Mm, thanks, Mom.

118
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,520
You're the best.

119
00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:07,670
Oh, Lord.

120
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[SIGHS]

121
00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:24,770
I'm guessing we're not
having our once-a-week.

122
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:28,579
Sorry, I only have relations
with gentlemen I like.

123
00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:31,360
Oh, come on. You know how I feel

124
00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:33,339
about your mother
meddlin' in our finances.

125
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,989
She wasn't meddlin',
she was offering to help.

126
00:04:35,990 --> 00:04:38,189
And that computer is not some silly toy.

127
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,219
Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork,

128
00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:43,129
and I could use it to...
organize my recipes.

129
00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:45,199
You already got 'em organized
on those little cards.

130
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,799
Yeah, like a cave person.

131
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,499
Well, it doesn't matter.

132
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,799
We can't afford it, end of story.

133
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,189
Not exactly end of story.

134
00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:54,519
What's that mean?

135
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,769
I've been setting money aside
the last couple of years,

136
00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:58,539
and this might be a good use for it.

137
00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:00,709
Money from what?

138
00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:02,579
You know, here and there.

139
00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:04,979
Bookkeeping for the church,

140
00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:06,519
some seamstress work,

141
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,549
birthday money from my Aunt Zelda.

142
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:10,589
And just how much of this
"here and there" money

143
00:05:10,590 --> 00:05:11,889
you got saved up?

144
00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,580
Well, seeing as it's my money,

145
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,259
I don't think that's
any of your business.

146
00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:16,929
[CHUCKLES]: None of my business?

147
00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:18,129
You see every nickel

148
00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:20,129
I make, and you got secret money?

149
00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:21,899
It's not secret. I just told you.

150
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,589
Where you hiding it?

151
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:26,299
[SIGHS] Well, now you're
headed into secret territory.

152
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:28,369
Oh, okay.

153
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,829
Just so I'm clear, my money's our money,

154
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,319
but your money's your money.

155
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,220
That's right.

156
00:05:33,221 --> 00:05:35,200
Oh, good to know.

157
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,579
I'm glad we're not
having our once-a-week

158
00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:41,280
'cause I am not in the mood.

159
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,549
Really?

160
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:45,219
That's too bad.

161
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,929
Why? Are you?

162
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,360
No!

163
00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:52,730
That was uncalled for.

164
00:05:57,330 --> 00:06:00,569
♪ Love can make you weep... ♪

165
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:03,109
I forgot to tell you,
a girl called for you.

166
00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:04,080
What girl?

167
00:06:04,081 --> 00:06:05,749
I don't know. A girl.

168
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:06,980
Well, what'd she say?

169
00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:09,250
It's hard to remember.
This was months ago.

170
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:12,719
Hey.

171
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,050
Two cases?

172
00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:15,520
You've got to be kidding me.

173
00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:17,349
Don't worry, I didn't use your money.

174
00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:18,990
I used mine.

175
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,059
♪ Something so strong... ♪

176
00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:24,129
Finish your dinner

177
00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:25,230
and then pack a bag.

178
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,569
We are going to Meemaw's.

179
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:27,709
Why?

180
00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:30,900
Because your mom and dad
need a break from each other.

181
00:06:30,910 --> 00:06:32,370
For how long?

182
00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:34,309
I don't know. Just pack.

183
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,269
Will I need earmuffs?

184
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:37,809
Sure, if you want.

185
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:40,760
Although my almanac does
predict mild temperatures.

186
00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:42,009
Then don't bring it.

187
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,829
I'll just bring my almanac.

188
00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:45,449
You know what, I'll bring both.

189
00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:46,790
[EXHALES]

190
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,400
Should I pack my toothbrush

191
00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:50,709
or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?

192
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,150
I got this one.

193
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,690
Nobody cares.

194
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,009
I don't want to go to Meemaw's house.

195
00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:57,479
What if that girl calls back?

196
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,190
Fine, then stay here with your father.

197
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,860
Sheldon and Missy, we are
out of here in half an hour.

198
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:06,540
Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush.

199
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,930
[DOORBELL RINGS]

200
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,270
Come on in.

201
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,179
Mom and Dad need a break.

202
00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:22,780
We don't know how long.

203
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,010
What's he got in there?

204
00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:27,520
Everything.

205
00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:34,819
SPORTSCASTER: First and ten in the
closing minutes of the fourth quarter...

206
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:37,359
I ain't never getting married.

207
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,699
- That so?
- Yeah.

208
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,029
- Women are nothing but trouble.
- [PHONE RINGING]

209
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:43,600
I'll get it!

210
00:07:44,470 --> 00:07:47,199
Hello, Georgie speaking.

211
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,770
Did you run to the
phone? Do you feel stupid?

212
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,609
Who was it?

213
00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:55,409
Nobody.

214
00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:57,040
This little tiff

215
00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:58,649
between your mom and me will blow over.

216
00:07:58,650 --> 00:08:00,210
Don't make a big deal of it.

217
00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:01,319
I'm not. I'm just saying

218
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,149
I'm better suited to the single life.

219
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,949
And how do you picture that?

220
00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:07,089
Okay, well, you know the
buffet at Golden Corral,

221
00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,360
where there's all kinds of choices

222
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:10,019
and you can have as much as you want?

223
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,010
Yeah.

224
00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:14,529
It'll be like that, only with hot girls.

225
00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:16,460
Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars

226
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:18,269
you're married before you're 25.

227
00:08:18,270 --> 00:08:20,469
You got a bet.

228
00:08:20,470 --> 00:08:21,900
I feel like

229
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,409
I'm stealing your money.

230
00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:28,379
ADULT SHELDON: <i>Georgie
married his first wife at 19.</i>

231
00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:31,679
<i>He never paid my father.</i>

232
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,279
Well, I got to tell you how happy I am

233
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,919
that y'all are spending
the night with me.

234
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,279
Your house smells like cigarettes.

235
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,380
So happy.

236
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,119
Sheldon, we've talked about this.

237
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,329
You don't need to announce
to people how things smell.

238
00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:46,390
Hmm.

239
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,759
All right, you two, settle in.

240
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,289
Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce?

241
00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:51,669
Of course not.

242
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:53,430
Are you sure? Packing up your kids

243
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,400
in the middle of the night
and moving in with your mom

244
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,769
has all the earmarks of a divorce.

245
00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,600
We're not getting a divorce.

246
00:08:59,610 --> 00:09:01,109
Okay, go to sleep.

247
00:09:01,110 --> 00:09:02,840
Sweet dreams.

248
00:09:10,390 --> 00:09:14,089
I can't believe Mom and
Dad had a fight over beer.

249
00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:16,629
I don't think the fight was about beer.

250
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:18,429
I think there was more subtext.

251
00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:20,359
You're probably right.

252
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,710
Then again, I don't
know what subtext is.

253
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,639
I don't want to get in your business,

254
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,420
but since you're getting in my bed,

255
00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:32,639
- I'm getting in your business.
- Go ahead.

256
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,609
When you leaving?

257
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,409
Very funny.

258
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,009
That wasn't a joke.

259
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,910
I love you, and I love the kids,

260
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,139
but I love you better
living across the street.

261
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:45,300
Sorry the end of my marriage
is inconveniencing you.

262
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:46,739
Oh, don't be so dramatic.

263
00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:47,909
It's a little spat.

264
00:09:47,910 --> 00:09:50,170
No, this was a long time coming.

265
00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:53,149
This goes to the very
core of our relationship.

266
00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:55,150
I see we're sticking with dramatic.

267
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,759
The minute he found out
I had money set aside,

268
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,499
he felt threatened. And you know why?

269
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,939
'Cause it meant that I can
live independent of him.

270
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:03,869
Sleeping in your mommy's bed?

271
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,540
You know what I mean.

272
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,509
You gonna buy Sheldon that computer?

273
00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:11,679
Well, now I have to.

274
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,360
Got it.

275
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:25,629
You do know I still
have an active love life.

276
00:10:25,630 --> 00:10:27,400
Just go to sleep.

277
00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:34,379
On this very bed.

278
00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:36,550
Oh, Mom.

279
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,509
What's for breakfast?

280
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,149
I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal.

281
00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:47,149
Mom usually makes us eggs and toast

282
00:10:47,150 --> 00:10:48,659
and the occasional meat.

283
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:50,129
Well, Mom isn't here, is she?

284
00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:53,919
Whoa. Somebody woke up on
the wrong side of the bed.

285
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,329
And you had a choice 'cause
you had the whole bed.

286
00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:57,459
Georgie.

287
00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,150
Walking on thin ice.

288
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,660
Maybe you should go across
the street and apologize.

289
00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:04,229
I can't do that.

290
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,530
Why not?

291
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,899
'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.

292
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,889
What's Nixon got to do with it?

293
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:10,920
What?

294
00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:13,739
You said "bad president," like Nixon.

295
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,530
You know, this guy.

296
00:11:19,450 --> 00:11:21,250
You going to apologize?

297
00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:23,840
Dad!

298
00:11:23,990 --> 00:11:25,669
Dad!

299
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,870
If you are, bring back meat!

300
00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:37,539
GEORGE JR.: Hey.

301
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:39,540
I hope you're happy.

302
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,219
Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind.

303
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,979
Mom and Dad are
fighting because you want

304
00:11:43,980 --> 00:11:45,449
to get a stupid computer.

305
00:11:45,450 --> 00:11:47,509
What are you talking about?

306
00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:48,619
Mom wanted to buy it for you,

307
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:49,919
Dad said they couldn't afford it,

308
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,229
Meemaw offered to pay for it,

309
00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:53,239
and now I'm eating
pineapple spears for lunch.

310
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,320
I hate making my own lunch.

311
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:57,159
I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know.

312
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,690
Yeah, well, now you do.

313
00:11:58,700 --> 00:11:59,929
What did you get?

314
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:02,489
A turkey sandwich Mom cut
in the shape of a heart,

315
00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:04,009
a fruit cup, a brownie,

316
00:12:04,010 --> 00:12:07,310
and a note from Meemaw
saying how much she loves me.

317
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,939
I haven't read it yet,
but I bet it's a lot.

318
00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:11,810
I don't even have a can opener.

319
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:17,579
Oh, Sugar Apple, I love you so much.

320
00:12:17,580 --> 00:12:20,560
Your affection for inanimate
objects frightens me.

321
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,299
I'm glad you're happy, Missy.

322
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:25,659
I'm even happier that I got a
toy, and Sheldon got nothin'.

323
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:27,390
MARY: Well, now, we're not exactly

324
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,689
done shopping.

325
00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:31,339
Sheldon, you still want that computer?

326
00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:33,300
I thought we couldn't afford it.

327
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:34,780
Don't you worry about that.

328
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:36,499
Do you want it or not?

329
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,109
More than anything.

330
00:12:38,110 --> 00:12:40,700
All right, then, let's go get it.

331
00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:44,470
Wait. He gets a computer
and I get a lousy toy?

332
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,139
I thought you liked it.

333
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,480
Not anymore.

334
00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:50,350
[SIGHS]

335
00:12:52,550 --> 00:12:54,449
Where's the water come out of?

336
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:57,189
Well, seeing as that's
the dryer, nowhere.

337
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:58,550
Hmm.

338
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,159
So this one's the washer?

339
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,420
No foolin' you.

340
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:03,990
What are you doing?

341
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,199
Separating the whites from the colors.

342
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,860
Whoa, that's racist.

343
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,799
How did I get a rocket
scientist for one son

344
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,269
- and a rodeo clown for the other?
- Oh, man.

345
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,769
I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown.

346
00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:17,530
They make people happy,

347
00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:19,680
and they see the rodeo for free.

348
00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,860
[SNIFFS] Mmm.

349
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,980
["HOME COMPUTER" BY KRAFTWERK PLAYING]

350
00:13:27,990 --> 00:13:31,049
ADULT SHELDON: <i>The home
computer I had long coveted</i>

351
00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:33,820
<i>was finally in my possession,</i>

352
00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:37,159
<i>but it was also destroying my home.</i>

353
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,590
<i>Thankfully, it came pre-loaded</i>

354
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,329
<i>with a program to help
solve personal problems.</i>

355
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:45,269
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Hello, I am Eliza.

356
00:13:45,270 --> 00:13:48,499
My... parents...

357
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:52,199
are... fighting...

358
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,809
a lot.

359
00:13:54,810 --> 00:13:57,679
I see. Can you elaborate on that?

360
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,079
My mother...

361
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,499
bought... me...

362
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,639
this...

363
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,910
computer...

364
00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:10,680
but...

365
00:14:10,690 --> 00:14:15,829
my dad... says... we can't...

366
00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:18,730
afford it.

367
00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:22,000
Do you have issues with your mother?

368
00:14:22,010 --> 00:14:24,670
Mmm... [TYPING] No.

369
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:28,009
She... makes me...

370
00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:30,359
spaghetti...

371
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,029
with hot dogs...

372
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:35,349
cut up in it.

373
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:38,119
Can you elaborate on that?

374
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,589
[SIGHS]

375
00:14:39,590 --> 00:14:41,409
Are you...

376
00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:43,760
going to help me or not?

377
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:49,829
Hello, I am Eliza.

378
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:52,450
The future might be overrated.

379
00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:56,639
Okay, water's definitely on.

380
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:57,610
Try it now.

381
00:14:57,611 --> 00:14:59,210
We want delicate or regular?

382
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:01,840
[GRUNTS] It doesn't
matter, just turn it on.

383
00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:04,559
Let's go with delicate to be safe.

384
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:05,729
[DIAL SPINNING]

385
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,780
[SIGHS] Nothin'.

386
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:08,980
Damn it.

387
00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:10,850
Wait, I know what to do.

388
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:11,889
What?

389
00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:14,189
Go across the street
and apologize to Mom.

390
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:16,629
I got nothin' to apologize for.

391
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:18,889
You don't have to mean it. I never do.

392
00:15:18,890 --> 00:15:20,329
Georgie, just mind your business.

393
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,699
Okay, sorry.

394
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,379
In case you were wondering,

395
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,630
I didn't mean that.

396
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,669
See how easy it is?

397
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,300
[DIAL SPINNING]

398
00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:31,139
These home computers are amazing.

399
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:33,079
I could start a real
bookkeeping business

400
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,209
with that thing.

401
00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:36,209
And that would go a
long way to giving you

402
00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:38,149
the financial independence
you're looking for.

403
00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:40,319
Darn tootin'.

404
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,289
Just for your information,

405
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,650
Sheldon is using the computer right now

406
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:47,489
to try and fix your marriage.

407
00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:49,120
Really?

408
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:50,559
What did it say?

409
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,590
It said...

410
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,999
[MECHANICALLY]: "Get out
of your mother's house."

411
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,429
- Mom.
- I'm serious.

412
00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:57,669
I want a cigarette, and I'm tired

413
00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:59,130
of hiding behind the garage.

414
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:00,969
You think I should apologize to George?

415
00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:03,639
Well, of course not. That
would set a terrible precedent.

416
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,109
I think you should go back over there

417
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,609
to pick up some clothes for the kids

418
00:16:06,610 --> 00:16:07,949
and be all cold and distant,

419
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:09,879
so he has to apologize to you.

420
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,079
Oh, that's not bad.

421
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,319
Do it.

422
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,070
I will.

423
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,700
Why you drinking tea?

424
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:19,030
[MECHANICALLY]: Get out.

425
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,830
♪ ♪

426
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,810
[EXHALES]

427
00:16:36,670 --> 00:16:38,870
[SIGHS]

428
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,149
Oh, hello.

429
00:16:43,150 --> 00:16:45,739
Hey.

430
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:47,149
Were you coming back, or...?

431
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,500
Just to get some clothes for the kids.

432
00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:52,550
Oh.

433
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:56,489
Were you coming to talk to me?

434
00:16:56,490 --> 00:17:00,259
Well... yeah.

435
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:02,230
I, um...

436
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:08,000
wanted to apologize.

437
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,809
Really?

438
00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:13,540
♪ ♪

439
00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:17,449
Want to go for a walk?

440
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:18,749
Talk a little?

441
00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:21,440
Sure.

442
00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:30,429
Hey, kids, come here.

443
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:31,980
Look at that.

444
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:37,199
It looks like your mom and
dad are gonna be all right.

445
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,419
Does this mean we're going home?

446
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:41,450
It appears so.

447
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,210
I didn't even get to
wear my earmuffs yet.

448
00:17:47,510 --> 00:17:50,979
And this program will allow us
to track our family finances,

449
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,079
create a budget, and
prepare tax documents.

450
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,300
- That's impressive.
- Mmm.

451
00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:56,849
Would you like to know how much money

452
00:17:56,850 --> 00:17:58,619
you spend on beer annually?

453
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,080
- No.
- I would.

454
00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:04,529
$936.

455
00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:05,930
George.

456
00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,660
If you switched to Hawaiian Punch,

457
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,699
we could live in a bigger house.

458
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:13,459
ELIZA: Hello, I am Eliza.

459
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,849
♪ I study nuclear science ♪

460
00:18:14,850 --> 00:18:17,379
Eliza... [TYPING]

461
00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:22,509
Are... you...

462
00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:25,749
hot?

463
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,880
In your fantasies, am I hot?

464
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:31,070
Oh... yes.

465
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,569
You realize you're not
talking to a real person.

466
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,860
Hey, get out of here.
I'm about to score.

467
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,669
MARY: Missy! Turn off the computer.

468
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:41,939
Time to go to bed.

469
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:44,999
I got to finish my homework!

470
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,099
Big money, big money.

471
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,739
♪ Things are going great ♪

472
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:50,909
Yes! [WHOOPS]

473
00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:52,770
♪ ♪

474
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:54,640
♪ I'm doing all right ♪

475
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:56,379
♪ Getting good grades ♪

476
00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:58,449
♪ The future's so bright ♪

477
00:18:58,450 --> 00:18:59,710
♪ I gotta wear shades ♪

478
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,619
Hello?

479
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,419
♪ I gotta wear shades ♪

480
00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:04,650
Hello?

481
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:07,420
♪ I gotta wear shades. ♪

482
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,949
Oh.

483
00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:23,300
- What?
- Nothin'.

484
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:32,140
Button you pull, that's stupid.

485
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:37,740
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

