1 00:00:12,069 --> 00:00:16,866 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:17,005 --> 00:00:19,673 Okay, I just wanted to take you through 3 00:00:19,756 --> 00:00:21,964 the main points of the sexual harassment complaint 4 00:00:22,047 --> 00:00:24,172 - from your assistant. - Right. Right. Right. 5 00:00:24,255 --> 00:00:26,631 The first contention is you yanked at her clothes. 6 00:00:26,714 --> 00:00:29,297 I yanked at her-- I cleaned my glasses. 7 00:00:29,381 --> 00:00:31,172 - Cleaned your glasses. - Her shirttail was sticking out. 8 00:00:31,255 --> 00:00:32,839 I cleaned my glasses. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 9 00:00:32,923 --> 00:00:35,631 - Send me to the cooler. - I don't want you to worry about it. 10 00:00:35,714 --> 00:00:37,089 I can handle this. 11 00:00:37,172 --> 00:00:40,714 If she gets anything at all here, it would be a travesty. 12 00:00:40,798 --> 00:00:43,339 And I would, I would leave the country. 13 00:00:43,422 --> 00:00:46,130 I don't know where I'd go, but I would leave. 14 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,839 I hear Canada is a good place, maybe. 15 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:51,047 - But it's cold. - I don't recommend moving to Canada. 16 00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:54,047 What about-- what about like a Pacific island or something? 17 00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:57,047 I want to assure you that as upsetting as this is, 18 00:00:57,130 --> 00:01:00,047 I think we'll either be able to make it go away 19 00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:02,047 or come to a reasonable settlement. 20 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,381 - What? Come to a what? - An amicable arrangement-- 21 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:07,089 A settlement? A reasonable settlement? 22 00:01:07,172 --> 00:01:10,339 "Millions for defense. Not one cent for tribute." 23 00:01:10,422 --> 00:01:13,214 That's what we said when the British were impressing our seamen. 24 00:01:13,297 --> 00:01:15,714 You, you know they tried to impress our seamen, right? 25 00:01:15,798 --> 00:01:18,673 They'd be on the ship, they'd yell across at one of our ships. 26 00:01:18,756 --> 00:01:23,047 "Hey, there! We have the best dental plan in all of Europe. 27 00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:27,047 Why, look at our bicorn hats and fancy brass buttons. 28 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:30,214 How's that, sailors? Are you impressed by that?" 29 00:01:30,297 --> 00:01:32,130 Anything else we haven't gone over? 30 00:01:32,214 --> 00:01:34,464 - Hmm. - Okay. 31 00:01:34,547 --> 00:01:37,255 If anything comes to you after this conversation... 32 00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:39,547 - You'll be the first to know. - You're in your car, you're driving home... 33 00:01:39,631 --> 00:01:40,923 - Yeah. - ...pick up the phone. 34 00:01:41,005 --> 00:01:42,214 - Really? - Yeah. 35 00:01:42,297 --> 00:01:45,172 If I do happen to call you, which I very well could, 36 00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:48,923 does that mean that I'll be charged for the time? 37 00:01:49,005 --> 00:01:52,798 In this office, we, uh, we try to use a holistic approach 38 00:01:52,881 --> 00:01:54,631 - to compensation. - Mm. 39 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,756 We want our clients not to be inhibited 40 00:01:56,839 --> 00:01:59,047 in their use of our services. 41 00:01:59,130 --> 00:02:00,839 So you charge me. 42 00:02:00,923 --> 00:02:02,130 Yeah. 43 00:02:02,214 --> 00:02:05,047 Uh, all right, I think that takes care of it. 44 00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:07,297 - May I use your bathroom? - Yeah, the bathroom's, uh, 45 00:02:07,381 --> 00:02:09,214 just to your right, down the hall. 46 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:11,130 Right there at reception where you came in, there's a little jog in the hallway. 47 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:15,506 Yeah. No. I already saw that, but I'm here, and, you know, it's... 48 00:02:15,589 --> 00:02:19,130 - an infinitely better bathroom than to send me to a public-- - Oh, it's nothing special. 49 00:02:19,214 --> 00:02:21,464 You'll be much happier down the hall. We just redid 'em. They're great. 50 00:02:21,547 --> 00:02:23,297 I'll leave it exactly the way I found it. 51 00:02:23,381 --> 00:02:25,714 I'm like a murderer going in there. 52 00:02:25,798 --> 00:02:29,964 I completely expunge all evidence that I was ever there. 53 00:02:30,047 --> 00:02:32,714 Motion denied, as they say in the profession. 54 00:02:36,381 --> 00:02:38,005 Where is it? 55 00:02:38,089 --> 00:02:40,547 Down the hall and to the right. 56 00:02:41,589 --> 00:02:42,589 Hi. 57 00:02:42,673 --> 00:02:46,172 - Mr. David. - Validation, please. 58 00:02:49,589 --> 00:02:51,839 Is that a problem? 59 00:02:51,923 --> 00:02:54,005 Well, I mean, to be perfectly honest, 60 00:02:54,089 --> 00:02:56,130 do you really think that you need it? 61 00:02:56,214 --> 00:02:58,339 It's not about the money, okay? 62 00:02:58,422 --> 00:03:01,464 It's about having to go into your pants pocket, 63 00:03:01,547 --> 00:03:03,714 in a car when you're paying. 64 00:03:03,798 --> 00:03:06,798 Have you ever been in a car trying to get to your pocket? 65 00:03:06,881 --> 00:03:09,756 - It does seem like a great deal of effort. - Yes. 66 00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:12,005 This is why homeless people don't make a lot of money 67 00:03:12,089 --> 00:03:15,089 from people in cars, 'cause nobody wants to go into their pockets. 68 00:03:15,589 --> 00:03:17,631 There you are, Mr. David. You have a lovely day. 69 00:03:17,714 --> 00:03:20,005 Yeah. Uh, you know what? 70 00:03:20,089 --> 00:03:22,130 This is only for an hour. 71 00:03:22,923 --> 00:03:25,130 I was here for at least an hour-ten. 72 00:03:27,255 --> 00:03:28,464 Sure thing. 73 00:03:28,547 --> 00:03:30,214 Here, Mr. David. You have a good day. 74 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:33,089 Hope to see you again. I intend to be in this building a lot. 75 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,589 That's fantastic. 76 00:03:43,964 --> 00:03:44,839 Hello? 77 00:03:44,923 --> 00:03:47,297 Larry, uh, this is Dr. Bahn. 78 00:03:47,381 --> 00:03:51,714 - Yeah? - I'm not liking some of the numbers I'm seeing 79 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,547 and would like to test you for thyroid cancer. 80 00:03:55,881 --> 00:03:57,923 I would like to get an MRI 81 00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,381 just to be safe. 82 00:03:59,464 --> 00:04:01,381 Is there a mass? 83 00:04:01,464 --> 00:04:03,047 Yes. There is a mass. 84 00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:06,464 Has it... spread? 85 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,214 Well, that we don't know, and that's why 86 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:10,047 I'd like to get you in for some tests today. 87 00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:12,839 - What are my odds? - Uh, Larry, it's way too early 88 00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:14,255 to be thinking that way. 89 00:04:14,339 --> 00:04:16,255 Just contact my office, and, uh, 90 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,506 we should get the results in two days. 91 00:04:36,089 --> 00:04:39,047 - And a two of hearts. - Ooh, lucky you. 92 00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:40,255 Possible flush, no straight. 93 00:04:40,339 --> 00:04:41,464 - Go ahead, Leon. You got the bet. - Woo! 94 00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:42,839 - You got the bet. - See what I got. 95 00:04:42,923 --> 00:04:44,756 - Come on, spend some money. - Bam! 96 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:45,756 - Nope. - Swat? 97 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:47,756 - Richard? - Two. 98 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:49,047 Ooh. 99 00:04:49,130 --> 00:04:50,756 All right, I'm in. 100 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,464 Why weren't you at the fundraiser the other night? 101 00:04:53,547 --> 00:04:56,214 - For the prison art collectors? - What, what, what fundraiser? 102 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,089 For the prisoners who draw art. 103 00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:00,130 I sent you the invitation. Why weren't you there? 104 00:05:00,214 --> 00:05:01,839 - I never got the invite. - We sent it. 105 00:05:01,923 --> 00:05:04,381 Never got it. Must have got lost in the mail. 106 00:05:04,464 --> 00:05:06,798 Aah, boy. I don't trust the mail anymore. I swear I don't. 107 00:05:06,881 --> 00:05:08,464 That stinks. I would have gone to that. 108 00:05:08,547 --> 00:05:09,881 - You would have enjoyed it. - Wow. 109 00:05:09,964 --> 00:05:12,714 All right, next card is a ten of spades. 110 00:05:12,798 --> 00:05:14,923 - I'm out. I fold. - Okay, he's out. Go ahead. 111 00:05:15,005 --> 00:05:16,339 You're out. You check. 112 00:05:16,422 --> 00:05:17,631 - I fold. - Fold. 113 00:05:17,714 --> 00:05:18,964 - Really? - I just wanna give you-- Yeah. 114 00:05:19,047 --> 00:05:20,047 I wanna give you a heads up. 115 00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:21,714 Susie's birthday is in about a week. 116 00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:23,297 Why are you giving me a heads up? 117 00:05:23,381 --> 00:05:26,172 Uh, she told me to tell you. 118 00:05:26,255 --> 00:05:28,798 - Get the hell out of here. She told you to tell me? - Yeah. Yeah. 119 00:05:28,881 --> 00:05:30,381 As a matter of fact, she wants a camera. 120 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,798 She's shameless, this woman. She's shameless. 121 00:05:32,881 --> 00:05:34,422 - It's unbelievable. - Wow. 122 00:05:34,506 --> 00:05:36,297 You don't get to pick your gift, okay? 123 00:05:36,381 --> 00:05:38,798 - I'm not a Sears catalog. - Just lettin' you know. Just lettin' you know. 124 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,339 Anyway, I already got her something. It's gonna be a nice surprise. 125 00:05:41,422 --> 00:05:42,839 - Really? - Yeah. 126 00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:44,506 All right, nine is the last card. 127 00:05:44,589 --> 00:05:45,673 You got the bet. 128 00:05:45,756 --> 00:05:47,506 Go ahead. You guys are out. Go ahead. 129 00:05:47,589 --> 00:05:50,089 I just want you to know before you bet, I have a pair of aces. 130 00:05:50,172 --> 00:05:52,923 Okay. Twenty bucks, aces. 131 00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:56,339 I have a pair of aces. I call. What do you have? 132 00:05:56,422 --> 00:06:00,714 Okay. I got three nines. 133 00:06:00,798 --> 00:06:02,839 - Ooh! Shit! - That's unbelievable. 134 00:06:02,923 --> 00:06:04,089 - Huh? - Ate your ass for dinner. 135 00:06:04,172 --> 00:06:05,506 On the river, you get a nine. 136 00:06:05,589 --> 00:06:06,547 Cincinnati Kid. 137 00:06:06,631 --> 00:06:08,089 You are the luckiest guy around. 138 00:06:08,172 --> 00:06:10,422 - Honest to God. - Yeah, yeah, luckiest guy around. 139 00:06:10,506 --> 00:06:12,964 I went to the doctor this week, and, I, uh... 140 00:06:13,381 --> 00:06:15,422 She found something, and... 141 00:06:15,506 --> 00:06:18,631 - She's testing for, you know, cancer, so... - Wow. 142 00:06:18,714 --> 00:06:20,547 - I'll find out in a few days. - Really? 143 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,631 - Yeah. I'm sure it's nothing, you know. - You're kidding me. 144 00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:24,214 Shit, Larry. God damn. 145 00:06:24,297 --> 00:06:25,214 You're up. 146 00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,673 Well, I just want to let you know, 147 00:06:27,756 --> 00:06:28,923 lettin' you know, 148 00:06:29,005 --> 00:06:31,089 - if you do have cancer... - Mm. 149 00:06:31,172 --> 00:06:32,714 ...I can't be your friend anymore. 150 00:06:32,798 --> 00:06:35,339 I-I'm not a cancer friend. I can't do the cancer friend. 151 00:06:35,422 --> 00:06:37,297 - That's not me. It's too much. Too much. - Mm. Yeah. 152 00:06:37,381 --> 00:06:39,547 You know, I gotta agree with Jeff. 153 00:06:39,631 --> 00:06:42,923 If you get cancer, I'll never speak to you again. 154 00:06:43,005 --> 00:06:44,881 - Wow. - I get that. Yeah. 155 00:06:44,964 --> 00:06:47,089 When I found out my daddy had cancer, 156 00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:48,964 I never spoke to that man again. 157 00:06:49,047 --> 00:06:51,172 - I even stopped taking his calls. - Wow. Really? 158 00:06:51,255 --> 00:06:52,631 - Yep. - Did he die? 159 00:06:52,714 --> 00:06:54,255 I don't know. 160 00:06:54,339 --> 00:06:55,422 - Mm. - Whoa. 161 00:06:55,506 --> 00:06:56,881 That's fuckin' deep, man. 162 00:06:56,964 --> 00:06:59,214 All right, I'll tell you what. I have a proposal. 163 00:06:59,297 --> 00:07:01,714 Let's make a little deal here, okay? 164 00:07:01,798 --> 00:07:04,589 A no-cancer friend reciprocity pact. 165 00:07:04,673 --> 00:07:06,839 If anyone gets it, we all stop being friends with you, 166 00:07:06,923 --> 00:07:08,089 and vice versa. 167 00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,547 - There you go! - Very gracious of you! 168 00:07:12,089 --> 00:07:14,589 Don't fuck up. Don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you. 169 00:07:14,673 --> 00:07:16,381 - All right. - Leon, your deal. Come on, let's play poker. 170 00:07:16,464 --> 00:07:18,172 - Let's go, baby. - Okay. 171 00:07:24,339 --> 00:07:26,089 Sorry I'm late. 172 00:07:26,172 --> 00:07:28,422 - It's okay. - You know what? 173 00:07:28,506 --> 00:07:30,964 I detest every single person in a car. 174 00:07:31,047 --> 00:07:33,089 - There are a lot of stupid drivers, yeah. - Yeah. 175 00:07:33,172 --> 00:07:35,005 How are you feeling? 176 00:07:35,089 --> 00:07:36,631 I'm better. 177 00:07:36,714 --> 00:07:38,673 - I'm a lot better. - I'm really sorry about 178 00:07:38,756 --> 00:07:40,589 that talc incident. 179 00:07:40,673 --> 00:07:42,673 I say next time, just... 180 00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,130 do the shower, yeah. 181 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:47,839 Yeah. Oh, geez, look at, look at this thing. 182 00:07:47,923 --> 00:07:49,297 - Huh? - Yeah, I know, it's-- 183 00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,964 Jesus, look, look, what-- I, I don't understand it. 184 00:07:52,047 --> 00:07:53,756 - Another wobbly table. - I know. 185 00:07:53,839 --> 00:07:55,422 They're all over. It's an epidemic. 186 00:07:55,506 --> 00:07:58,839 I'm gonna end the wobbly table epidemic, in my coffee house. 187 00:07:58,923 --> 00:08:01,798 - Mm. - Ours are gonna be cemented in... 188 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,673 - They're gonna be cemented in the ground. - Mm-hmm. 189 00:08:03,756 --> 00:08:05,964 Ah. You know what? I think I'll do a little, uh, 190 00:08:06,047 --> 00:08:08,047 a little side-sitting. 191 00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,714 - A side-sit? - Yeah. A side-sit. 192 00:08:10,798 --> 00:08:12,214 I don't think that's a good idea. 193 00:08:12,297 --> 00:08:15,714 - Why? What's the big deal? - Well, it's, uh, very intimate. 194 00:08:15,798 --> 00:08:18,798 I-- This is too far to talk to somebody. 195 00:08:18,881 --> 00:08:20,839 It feels a little close. 196 00:08:20,923 --> 00:08:22,798 - I don't think so. - Okay. 197 00:08:22,881 --> 00:08:23,964 Oh. 198 00:08:24,047 --> 00:08:25,339 - There you go. - Thank you. 199 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:29,172 It's my mailman. His name's Lionel. 200 00:08:29,255 --> 00:08:30,506 Hey. 201 00:08:30,589 --> 00:08:32,130 - Lionel? - Yeah. 202 00:08:32,214 --> 00:08:33,839 - Take care. Have a good day. - Thank you. You too. 203 00:08:33,923 --> 00:08:37,547 Yeah. Something about that guy gives me the creeps. 204 00:08:37,631 --> 00:08:39,673 - Yeah. - Um... 205 00:08:39,756 --> 00:08:44,214 - How are you doing? - Good. Can I introduce you to my friend, the elephant? 206 00:08:44,297 --> 00:08:46,756 Huh? He's a big boy. 207 00:08:46,839 --> 00:08:49,756 - Keeps growing. - Yes, yes. 208 00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:52,297 I mean, how do you feel about it? 209 00:08:52,381 --> 00:08:55,714 Well, I feel the same as I've always felt. 210 00:08:55,798 --> 00:08:58,464 I think we should... I think we should be together. 211 00:09:00,005 --> 00:09:01,714 Yeah, I don't... 212 00:09:01,798 --> 00:09:03,923 I don't think that's a good idea. 213 00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:07,756 I think we need to... 214 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,005 end it, call it off. 215 00:09:11,089 --> 00:09:13,589 I think we should be apart. 216 00:09:16,214 --> 00:09:18,172 You know, I... 217 00:09:18,255 --> 00:09:19,547 I was at the doctor, 218 00:09:19,631 --> 00:09:21,923 and I'm waiting to get some... 219 00:09:22,464 --> 00:09:23,756 test results back. 220 00:09:23,839 --> 00:09:25,881 Oh. What kind of tests? 221 00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:28,464 Could be... 222 00:09:29,089 --> 00:09:30,381 cancer? 223 00:09:30,464 --> 00:09:32,464 It's just a test, right? 224 00:09:32,547 --> 00:09:33,547 - Yeah. - Yeah. 225 00:09:33,631 --> 00:09:34,714 It's a test, but... 226 00:09:34,798 --> 00:09:36,589 - it's a test for cancer. - Right. 227 00:09:36,673 --> 00:09:38,881 I mean, a lot of people get tested. 228 00:09:38,964 --> 00:09:40,547 Not for cancer. 229 00:09:40,631 --> 00:09:42,881 - Yeah, a lot of people get tested for cancer. - No, this is cancer. 230 00:09:42,964 --> 00:09:44,964 - It's a cancer test. - I know a lot of people-- 231 00:09:45,047 --> 00:09:46,839 No, this is cancer. 232 00:09:46,923 --> 00:09:49,589 - Um... - Serious, serious test. 233 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,422 - Could you excuse us for a sec? - Sure. 234 00:09:52,506 --> 00:09:55,255 Well, I hope your tests come back negative, 235 00:09:55,339 --> 00:09:57,673 but we're not gonna get back together. 236 00:09:58,339 --> 00:10:02,589 Hypothetically, suppose she told me I had... 237 00:10:02,673 --> 00:10:04,339 two years. 238 00:10:04,422 --> 00:10:07,005 Would that alter your thinking about us at all? 239 00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:11,381 - You mean, get together for two years until you died? - Yeah. Yeah. 240 00:10:11,464 --> 00:10:12,923 I think you'd have a pretty good time. 241 00:10:13,005 --> 00:10:15,255 - Do you? Yeah. - Yeah, I'd be complaining a little bit. 242 00:10:15,339 --> 00:10:17,297 But I can get a nurse and complain to the nurse 243 00:10:17,381 --> 00:10:19,172 and leave you out of that part. 244 00:10:19,255 --> 00:10:22,881 Well, let's see what the tests... say. 245 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,255 You know, we could do a lot of traveling. 246 00:10:25,339 --> 00:10:26,631 You don't like to travel. 247 00:10:26,714 --> 00:10:29,089 Would you mind if I brought the nurse along? 248 00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:32,214 Okay. I think we're good the way we are. 249 00:10:34,714 --> 00:10:36,005 Yeah. 250 00:10:39,047 --> 00:10:41,172 All right. 251 00:10:42,756 --> 00:10:45,506 - What are you gonna get? - I don't give a fuck. 252 00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:48,172 Okay, Mr. Greene. 253 00:10:48,255 --> 00:10:51,297 - Almost finished. Just need to pick up two-- - Hey, Milos! 254 00:10:51,381 --> 00:10:53,673 How ya doing? 255 00:10:53,756 --> 00:10:56,631 - Good. How are you? - Good. You coming over to the coffee store later? 256 00:10:56,714 --> 00:10:59,422 - Of course. I'll be there. I got to finish up. See you. - Beautiful. Thank you. 257 00:10:59,506 --> 00:11:02,798 - Milos, he's gonna be doing some work in the coffee place. - Yeah, he's fantastic. 258 00:11:02,881 --> 00:11:04,255 Wh-what's that? 259 00:11:04,339 --> 00:11:06,297 It's a little somethin' for your wife. 260 00:11:06,381 --> 00:11:08,673 A birthday present. Huh? 261 00:11:09,297 --> 00:11:11,172 So how'd it go with Cheryl? 262 00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:13,047 Not gonna happen. 263 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,798 - No! - Yeah. 264 00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:17,339 - I'm sorry, man. - Well, you know, it's a long shot, anyway. 265 00:11:17,422 --> 00:11:19,923 - Did you think it would happen? - No, I knew it was a long shot, 266 00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:21,673 but what are, you know, what are you gonna do? 267 00:11:22,005 --> 00:11:24,839 I'll tell you what you do. You're gonna get back out there. 268 00:11:24,923 --> 00:11:26,839 You can't date now. You can't-- 269 00:11:26,923 --> 00:11:28,714 How do you even make a move in this climate? 270 00:11:28,798 --> 00:11:33,172 Plus, I got that sexual harassment thing from the, uh, assistant. 271 00:11:33,255 --> 00:11:35,673 And I'm old and bald. 272 00:11:35,756 --> 00:11:37,005 - Old and bald. - Yeah. 273 00:11:37,089 --> 00:11:38,923 - That means nothing. - Please. Are you kidding? 274 00:11:39,005 --> 00:11:42,464 - You're rich! - You think rich beats old and bald? 275 00:11:42,547 --> 00:11:46,130 You could have mutton chops and wear a, a cartoon tie 276 00:11:46,214 --> 00:11:48,214 of, uh, Felix the Cat. 277 00:11:48,297 --> 00:11:49,756 Some old-timey cartoon. 278 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,089 You can, you can paint them blue, 279 00:11:52,172 --> 00:11:54,839 and wear an Abe Lincoln hat. You'll be fine. 280 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,297 - Really? - Trust me. Yeah. 281 00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:58,130 Okay. I'm gonna get back out there. 282 00:11:58,214 --> 00:11:59,506 I gotta ask you something. 283 00:11:59,589 --> 00:12:01,547 The other night at poker, 284 00:12:01,631 --> 00:12:03,714 that invitation, it, it didn't get lost. 285 00:12:03,798 --> 00:12:05,756 - No, of course not. - You made that whole thing up. 286 00:12:05,839 --> 00:12:08,089 - Yeah. Totally made it up. - Oh, you're good. 287 00:12:08,172 --> 00:12:09,547 Blame it on the mailman. 288 00:12:09,631 --> 00:12:11,172 - Blame it on the mailman. - Yeah. 289 00:12:11,255 --> 00:12:13,130 - Jeffrey! - Oh... 290 00:12:13,214 --> 00:12:14,881 - Oh, hi, Lar. - Oh, hello. 291 00:12:14,964 --> 00:12:17,047 - I didn't know you were here. - I am here. 292 00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:19,506 - Yeah? What? - Stand right there. 293 00:12:19,589 --> 00:12:21,047 - Okay. - Don't move. 294 00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:22,631 What? What? What? 295 00:12:23,005 --> 00:12:26,047 - What is that? - What is it? It's for you! 296 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:28,881 - For your birthday! - You've never gotten me a birthday gift. 297 00:12:28,964 --> 00:12:30,130 I did this year! 298 00:12:30,214 --> 00:12:32,130 Yeah, what is it? What is it? 299 00:12:33,381 --> 00:12:35,756 Oh, my God. Larry! 300 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,798 - Oh, my God! - Huh? You love it? 301 00:12:37,881 --> 00:12:39,756 I had it commissioned. A great artist. 302 00:12:39,839 --> 00:12:41,130 Gave me a big discount. 303 00:12:41,214 --> 00:12:43,631 - You had this made for me? - Yeah. 304 00:12:43,714 --> 00:12:47,089 - From you, of all people, 'cause you're not a giver. - No. 305 00:12:47,506 --> 00:12:49,464 Oh, my God. 306 00:12:49,547 --> 00:12:52,464 It's absolutely magnificent. 307 00:12:52,547 --> 00:12:55,506 It's magnificent. It's a work of art. 308 00:12:55,589 --> 00:12:57,339 It's not just 'cause it's me. 309 00:12:57,422 --> 00:12:59,255 All is forgiven. 310 00:12:59,339 --> 00:13:00,923 Everything you've ever done, 311 00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:02,130 every horrible thing 312 00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:04,089 you've done to me is forgiven for this. 313 00:13:04,172 --> 00:13:05,673 What are you talking about? What have I done? 314 00:13:05,756 --> 00:13:07,756 - Oh, my God. Jeff, what... - What are you forgiving? 315 00:13:07,839 --> 00:13:11,047 Oh, wait a minute. I gotta go talk to this fuckin' Milos. 316 00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:14,881 Screwing up my deck. Hey, Milos! Milos! 317 00:13:14,964 --> 00:13:16,381 What were you thinking? 318 00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:19,005 I thought I told you a camera, a fucking camera. 319 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,881 - This is mahogany cream. - You fucked me. 320 00:13:20,964 --> 00:13:23,089 - What? - It's shit. Do you understand what I'm saying? 321 00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:26,673 - I wrote it down. Mahogany cream. - Yes! This is mahogany cream! 322 00:13:26,756 --> 00:13:29,339 - This is not mahogany cream! - This is mahogany cream. 323 00:13:29,422 --> 00:13:31,964 I'm not paying for this piece of shit crap! 324 00:13:32,047 --> 00:13:34,798 You redo it, or you don't get paid. 325 00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:36,881 It's bullshit! 326 00:13:39,005 --> 00:13:41,881 - That poor bastard never had a chance. - No. 327 00:13:49,673 --> 00:13:51,589 - Mr. David? - Yeah? 328 00:13:51,673 --> 00:13:53,673 I've heard that you're going around telling people 329 00:13:53,756 --> 00:13:55,464 that I've lost their invitations? 330 00:13:55,547 --> 00:13:57,130 Wh-where'd you get that from? 331 00:13:57,214 --> 00:13:58,964 Andy and Cassie David told me. 332 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,005 Can I tell you a little story? 333 00:14:01,089 --> 00:14:03,005 I got invited to some kind of fundraiser, 334 00:14:03,089 --> 00:14:06,130 prison art something. I-- you know, I'm not gonna... 335 00:14:06,589 --> 00:14:09,047 I'm not gonna do that. So I said... 336 00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:12,923 I never got the invitation. It got lost in the mail. 337 00:14:13,839 --> 00:14:15,255 - Lost in the mail. - Yeah. 338 00:14:15,339 --> 00:14:16,923 So, I'm the mail. 339 00:14:17,005 --> 00:14:19,756 - Yes. In this particular case-- - I'm the guy that is delivering the mail, 340 00:14:19,839 --> 00:14:21,881 so that is a stain on an otherwise perfect record. 341 00:14:21,964 --> 00:14:23,673 I've never lost a piece of mail. 342 00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:28,089 - Come on. All right. - Listen, I just need you to please... 343 00:14:28,172 --> 00:14:30,172 go tell Andy and Cassie the truth about this. 344 00:14:30,255 --> 00:14:32,798 I'll consider it. Look, can I give you a little tip? 345 00:14:32,881 --> 00:14:34,589 If you're gonna confront somebody 346 00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:36,756 and ask them to do something like this, 347 00:14:36,839 --> 00:14:39,005 it's better to do it with pants on. 348 00:14:39,089 --> 00:14:40,339 The shorts... 349 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,673 This is the required uniform for a postman. 350 00:14:43,631 --> 00:14:44,881 - Really? - Yeah. 351 00:14:44,964 --> 00:14:46,381 And the socks, too? 352 00:14:46,464 --> 00:14:48,422 - That's part of it? The black socks? - Right. 353 00:14:48,506 --> 00:14:50,923 Yes. Post Office issued socks. Yes. 354 00:14:51,005 --> 00:14:52,214 They issue socks? 355 00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:53,798 - Yeah. - How many pairs? 356 00:14:53,881 --> 00:14:55,631 What does that have to do with this? 357 00:14:55,714 --> 00:14:57,339 I'm just curious how often you have to wash those socks. 358 00:14:57,422 --> 00:14:59,881 They give you five or six pairs, and you rotate them. Okay? 359 00:14:59,964 --> 00:15:01,964 - How many pairs of shorts do they give you? - Listen. 360 00:15:02,047 --> 00:15:03,798 If you don't want to go to something, don't go, 361 00:15:03,881 --> 00:15:06,089 but don't hide behind the US Postal Service. 362 00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,506 It's hard to take a person seriously wearing shorts. 363 00:15:08,589 --> 00:15:10,756 I'm at work, doing work. This is my work uniform. 364 00:15:10,839 --> 00:15:12,631 - I'm confronting you. - I'm giving you, I'm giving you-- 365 00:15:12,714 --> 00:15:14,673 Excuse me one second. I was giving you a good tip. 366 00:15:14,756 --> 00:15:16,047 - Good advice. - Take the call. 367 00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:18,047 - I'm givin' you good advice. - Just take the call. 368 00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,381 Hello? 369 00:15:19,464 --> 00:15:21,214 - Larry David? - Yes? 370 00:15:21,297 --> 00:15:22,381 It's Dr. Bahn. 371 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,172 The test results came back. 372 00:15:24,255 --> 00:15:26,089 Aah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 373 00:15:26,172 --> 00:15:28,673 As you know, we did a fine-needle biopsy, 374 00:15:28,756 --> 00:15:30,464 - on the mass. - Oh, my God. This is bad. 375 00:15:30,547 --> 00:15:32,631 - And an MRI. - It's bad. It's bad. What? 376 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:35,881 It's just a benign cyst, not cancerous. 377 00:15:35,964 --> 00:15:38,964 - You're clean as a whistle. - Ah! Ha-ha! 378 00:15:39,047 --> 00:15:41,255 Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha! 379 00:15:41,339 --> 00:15:43,756 - Oh, thank you. Thank you! - You're welcome. 380 00:15:43,839 --> 00:15:46,881 Ah! Negative! Negative! 381 00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:49,381 - Ah! - Just... okay? 382 00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:51,214 - Fine. The matter at hand-- - I'll, I'll talk to 'em. 383 00:15:51,297 --> 00:15:53,673 - Please tell Andy and Cassie... - I'll talk to 'em. I'll talk to 'em. 384 00:15:53,756 --> 00:15:55,673 Yes. 385 00:15:55,756 --> 00:15:58,047 Mr. Swindell will be here in five minutes. 386 00:15:58,130 --> 00:16:00,172 - Make yourself comfortable. - Okay. 387 00:16:00,255 --> 00:16:01,339 All right. 388 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,756 - Okay. Hey, Larry. - Oh, hey! 389 00:16:48,839 --> 00:16:51,255 - Sorry to keep you waiting. - Oh, no, no. Don't be silly. 390 00:16:51,339 --> 00:16:52,839 All's good? You've been well? 391 00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:57,047 Funny you should mention it, 'cause I had a bit of a scare 392 00:16:57,130 --> 00:16:59,631 at the doctor, I just got the results back, 393 00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:02,381 and, uh... I'm good. 394 00:17:02,464 --> 00:17:04,130 Oh, that's great. You must be relieved. 395 00:17:04,214 --> 00:17:07,506 Well, I'm relieved, except it's been two days since I found out, 396 00:17:07,589 --> 00:17:11,172 and not one of my friends has inquired 397 00:17:11,255 --> 00:17:13,756 as to how the test turned out, not one. 398 00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:16,506 - I see. - I'm gonna dump the whole bunch of 'em. 399 00:17:16,589 --> 00:17:19,089 - I'll get myself some new friends. - That's great news. 400 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,714 - Maybe, uh, maybe we could strike up a friendship. - I'm relieved for you. 401 00:17:23,714 --> 00:17:25,881 I, I have a busy life, and, uh... 402 00:17:25,964 --> 00:17:28,297 but, uh, I am, I am really relieved 403 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,839 - that you got the news that you got. - Mm, thank you. 404 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:32,381 And I have some other good news for you, too. 405 00:17:32,464 --> 00:17:35,214 Which is that Ms. Huff's team gave me a call, 406 00:17:35,297 --> 00:17:37,839 and she would like to meet with you. 407 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,339 Face-to-face, 408 00:17:39,422 --> 00:17:41,381 just the two of you alone in a public place, of course. 409 00:17:41,464 --> 00:17:42,673 Alice wants to meet? 410 00:17:42,756 --> 00:17:44,714 The fact that she is reaching out is great. 411 00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:47,172 That's fantastic. Maybe she's come to her senses. 412 00:17:47,255 --> 00:17:49,422 If you just give her the chance to air 413 00:17:49,506 --> 00:17:51,506 whatever she wants to air, listen to her, and maybe... 414 00:17:51,589 --> 00:17:53,714 Yeah, sure, yeah. I'll listen. I'll-- we'll air. Yeah, listen and air. 415 00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:55,631 Then the whole thing could go away. 416 00:17:55,714 --> 00:17:58,297 - That's good news. Look at you. The bearer of good tidings. - Uh, sorry. 417 00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:01,130 Hold on one second. Just to get a tissue. 418 00:18:11,005 --> 00:18:12,839 What's up? 419 00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:20,214 Problem? 420 00:18:20,297 --> 00:18:21,631 Did you use my bathroom? 421 00:18:21,714 --> 00:18:23,422 What? No. Absolutely not. 422 00:18:23,506 --> 00:18:25,673 Why would I use your bathroom? You told me not to. 423 00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,422 I mean, you did ask to use it. 424 00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:30,422 Yes, I did, but you were quite emphatic about it. 425 00:18:30,506 --> 00:18:32,589 And, uh, you know, well, what am I gonna do? 426 00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:35,798 - That's, that's the rule. - Your interest was not casual. 427 00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,881 I'm telling you the truth. 428 00:18:44,547 --> 00:18:47,339 - It's your old pal. - Mr. David. 429 00:18:47,422 --> 00:18:51,422 Beautiful view here. How long did it take you to take it for granted? 430 00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,798 Um... not long, I guess. 431 00:18:53,881 --> 00:18:55,839 It would take me about a day, maybe less, 432 00:18:55,923 --> 00:18:57,297 maybe a half an hour. 433 00:18:57,381 --> 00:18:59,381 And I would never look out the window again 434 00:18:59,464 --> 00:19:01,631 and go, "Ooh, look at that view." 435 00:19:01,714 --> 00:19:04,464 Anyway, here for some validation. 436 00:19:04,547 --> 00:19:06,130 Can I ask you something? 437 00:19:06,214 --> 00:19:08,881 Swindell-- have you ever used his bathroom? 438 00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:12,339 - I have. - What? 439 00:19:12,422 --> 00:19:15,631 Why fly public when you can fly private, am I right? 440 00:19:15,714 --> 00:19:17,714 I mean, the public toilets, forget it. 441 00:19:17,798 --> 00:19:19,047 - Don't get me started. - You can't do it. 442 00:19:19,130 --> 00:19:20,798 Have you been in a woman's restroom? 443 00:19:20,881 --> 00:19:23,047 Do you know how vile women can be? 444 00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:26,089 Women? Oh, that's nothing compared to a men's room, nothing. 445 00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:28,130 You guys get to stand up. We have to sit down. 446 00:19:28,214 --> 00:19:30,631 Hey, you know what? I'll take you out for a night on the town. 447 00:19:30,714 --> 00:19:32,089 We'll go toilet-hopping. 448 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,005 We'll, we'll look at men's rooms and ladies' rooms, 449 00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,589 and we'll make a little comparison. Would you like to do that? 450 00:19:36,673 --> 00:19:39,422 - As in a date? - Yes, yes, a date. 451 00:19:39,506 --> 00:19:42,714 I know this is something you've probably been dreaming about most of your life. 452 00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:45,714 "Oh, dear God, please let me meet an old bald man, 453 00:19:45,798 --> 00:19:47,297 who will take me toilet-hopping, 454 00:19:47,381 --> 00:19:50,130 from toilet to toilet, throughout the town. 455 00:19:50,214 --> 00:19:53,464 Please, God. Please make that happen." 456 00:19:54,506 --> 00:19:55,839 I'm game. 457 00:19:56,589 --> 00:19:59,130 I, I, I don't even know what to say. I'm shocked. 458 00:19:59,214 --> 00:20:02,172 - Validation? - Yes. And your name is? 459 00:20:02,255 --> 00:20:03,464 My name is Rita. 460 00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:05,839 Rita. You'll be hearing from me. 461 00:20:05,923 --> 00:20:08,255 You lucky gal! 462 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,464 What? What? 463 00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:17,589 Larry? 464 00:20:18,089 --> 00:20:19,923 - Hey. - What's in there? 465 00:20:21,255 --> 00:20:23,589 Oh, it's a, uh... coffee place. 466 00:20:23,673 --> 00:20:25,798 I'm opening up a spite store to take him out of business. 467 00:20:26,339 --> 00:20:29,047 I don't know what a spite store is, and I don't really care. 468 00:20:29,130 --> 00:20:32,339 - I want to talk to you about something. - Sure. 469 00:20:32,422 --> 00:20:35,214 Somebody told me you were side-sitting Cheryl. 470 00:20:35,297 --> 00:20:38,798 - Who told you that? - The mailman. He said he was in a restaurant 471 00:20:38,881 --> 00:20:40,255 and saw you side-sitting. 472 00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:42,673 You're making too much about a side-sit. 473 00:20:42,756 --> 00:20:44,172 I side-sit with everybody. 474 00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:46,005 I side-sit with my doctor, I side-sit with my therapist. 475 00:20:46,089 --> 00:20:47,881 I've never seen you side-sit anybody. 476 00:20:47,964 --> 00:20:51,506 If you ever see me sitting, you'll see me side-sitting. 477 00:20:58,798 --> 00:21:00,005 Hello? 478 00:21:00,089 --> 00:21:02,798 What were you thinkin' gettin' Susie that painting? 479 00:21:02,881 --> 00:21:04,923 Aah, I'm-I'm so sorry. 480 00:21:05,005 --> 00:21:07,381 It stares at me! It's just there! 481 00:21:07,464 --> 00:21:09,756 I go for a snack, it's staring at me! 482 00:21:09,839 --> 00:21:11,756 I wish there was somethin' I could do. 483 00:21:11,839 --> 00:21:13,297 Well, I told you to get her a camera! 484 00:21:13,381 --> 00:21:14,839 Why couldn't you get her a camera?! 485 00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:16,839 I should have given her the camera. 486 00:21:16,923 --> 00:21:18,255 Next time get her a camera! 487 00:21:18,339 --> 00:21:19,589 Believe me, there won't be a next time! 488 00:21:19,673 --> 00:21:21,422 Good! Don't get her anything again! 489 00:21:21,506 --> 00:21:23,381 I will never give anyone a gift again. What do you think about that? 490 00:21:23,464 --> 00:21:25,130 I think it's the best idea you've had all day! 491 00:21:25,214 --> 00:21:27,547 - I'm done with presents! - My birthday's coming up in a month! 492 00:21:27,631 --> 00:21:29,089 - What are you gettin' me?! - Nothin'! 493 00:21:29,172 --> 00:21:31,005 - Ha! Thank you! - You're welcome! 494 00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:31,964 Aah! 495 00:21:36,172 --> 00:21:39,506 - I like what you did with this apartment. - Thank you. 496 00:21:41,172 --> 00:21:43,422 - You play the piano? - I don't. No. 497 00:21:43,506 --> 00:21:45,255 I borrowed it. 498 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,714 You don't play, and you borrowed a piano? 499 00:21:48,798 --> 00:21:50,756 It was a joke. I didn't borrow the piano. 500 00:21:51,130 --> 00:21:53,297 Well, that's quite a, uh... 501 00:21:53,381 --> 00:21:55,255 That's quite an attempt at a joke. 502 00:21:55,339 --> 00:21:57,381 Thank you. You could use it. 503 00:21:57,464 --> 00:21:58,714 That's okay. 504 00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:03,839 All right, well, we've come to that juncture in the evening where... 505 00:22:04,381 --> 00:22:08,589 a move of some kind is either... 506 00:22:09,381 --> 00:22:13,297 required or, uh... expected. 507 00:22:13,381 --> 00:22:14,839 I agree. 508 00:22:14,923 --> 00:22:16,255 - You agree? - I do. 509 00:22:16,339 --> 00:22:18,589 - That's good. That's good. Now... - That's good. 510 00:22:18,673 --> 00:22:20,464 ...given the current climate, 511 00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:23,673 I would like to ask you a series of questions 512 00:22:23,756 --> 00:22:26,673 to determine how comfortable you are 513 00:22:26,756 --> 00:22:29,547 with physical contact as it progresses. 514 00:22:29,631 --> 00:22:31,130 All right. That sounds fair. 515 00:22:31,214 --> 00:22:35,214 I'd like to begin by taking my right hand 516 00:22:35,297 --> 00:22:37,589 and place it on your right shoulder. 517 00:22:38,089 --> 00:22:40,839 - Would that be acceptable? - That is acceptable. Yes. 518 00:22:40,923 --> 00:22:42,881 - Ah. Okay. - Okay. 519 00:22:45,381 --> 00:22:48,589 - Now I'd like to take this left hand of mine... - Yes. 520 00:22:48,673 --> 00:22:51,047 ...and place it under your rib cage, 521 00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:52,798 fairly close to the right breast, 522 00:22:52,881 --> 00:22:54,339 but keeping a safe distance. 523 00:22:54,422 --> 00:22:56,130 That is acceptable. 524 00:22:57,798 --> 00:22:59,506 - There we go. - That's very nice. 525 00:22:59,589 --> 00:23:02,172 Ah! By the way, throughout this process, 526 00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:04,422 I would encourage any feedback. 527 00:23:04,506 --> 00:23:07,673 - Well, and I would expect the same from you. - Oh. 528 00:23:08,214 --> 00:23:12,214 How would you feel about a little grazing of the lips? 529 00:23:12,297 --> 00:23:14,297 I think I would feel very good about that. 530 00:23:14,381 --> 00:23:17,089 Well, then a grazing you shall have. 531 00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:21,130 Aha. 532 00:23:21,214 --> 00:23:22,798 And now... 533 00:23:22,881 --> 00:23:24,339 I would like to... 534 00:23:24,422 --> 00:23:26,673 graze again, but this time, 535 00:23:26,756 --> 00:23:29,589 with some intertwining of the tongue. 536 00:23:30,339 --> 00:23:32,964 - We could do that. - Excellent! 537 00:23:37,506 --> 00:23:38,798 Hmm. 538 00:23:38,881 --> 00:23:41,547 Well, now I think we have to take a little break. 539 00:23:41,631 --> 00:23:45,381 With your permission, of course, I would like to take a video 540 00:23:45,464 --> 00:23:48,089 in order to document the evening. 541 00:23:48,172 --> 00:23:51,255 You know, just in case there are any discrepancies 542 00:23:51,339 --> 00:23:54,172 of the he-said, she-said variety. 543 00:23:54,255 --> 00:23:56,464 - Would you be able to forward that to me? - Of course. 544 00:23:56,547 --> 00:23:58,506 I will forward it to you and cc, 545 00:23:58,589 --> 00:24:00,589 or bcc to anyone you like. 546 00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:01,756 Fantastic. 547 00:24:01,839 --> 00:24:04,297 Begin session. 548 00:24:05,172 --> 00:24:07,339 - This is Rita. - Hi. 549 00:24:07,422 --> 00:24:09,714 Um, Rita, you're here under your own volition? 550 00:24:09,798 --> 00:24:12,923 - I am. Yes. - Nobody forced you here. Isn't that correct? 551 00:24:13,005 --> 00:24:14,589 That is correct. Nobody forced me. 552 00:24:14,673 --> 00:24:17,089 - You're not here under duress of any kind? - No. 553 00:24:17,172 --> 00:24:20,089 - You're kind of enjoying yourself, are you not? - I am. 554 00:24:20,172 --> 00:24:22,047 Nothing, uh, untoward has happened. 555 00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:23,756 Nothing's happened without your permission. 556 00:24:23,839 --> 00:24:25,506 - Absolutely not. - Thus far. 557 00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,172 Okay. 558 00:24:27,255 --> 00:24:28,631 - Let's continue. - Let's. 559 00:24:28,714 --> 00:24:32,339 I'm placing my right hand back on her right shoulder, 560 00:24:32,422 --> 00:24:35,089 - with her permission, of course. - Yes. 561 00:24:35,172 --> 00:24:38,881 And now, what I'd like to do is take this left hand, 562 00:24:38,964 --> 00:24:40,923 which I've introduced to you earlier, 563 00:24:41,005 --> 00:24:43,130 I'm going to place it on your inner thigh, 564 00:24:43,214 --> 00:24:46,464 and slowly inch my way up, 565 00:24:46,547 --> 00:24:49,631 in a crab-like fashion, 566 00:24:49,714 --> 00:24:52,005 Well, seeing as it is our first date, Larry, 567 00:24:52,089 --> 00:24:54,923 I think that I'm going to have to say no to that. 568 00:24:55,547 --> 00:24:57,839 - I'm perfectly okay with that. - Okay. 569 00:24:57,923 --> 00:25:00,464 And what if I took this same left hand, 570 00:25:00,547 --> 00:25:02,089 and extended it laterally, 571 00:25:02,172 --> 00:25:03,964 and somehow wind up 572 00:25:04,047 --> 00:25:05,964 on that right breast, 573 00:25:06,047 --> 00:25:09,714 and perhaps, uh, gave it a little, uh, squeeze. 574 00:25:09,798 --> 00:25:12,881 Uh, that would be the worst thing in the world? 575 00:25:13,255 --> 00:25:15,214 I'm gonna have to say no again. 576 00:25:15,297 --> 00:25:16,714 Okay. Another no. 577 00:25:16,798 --> 00:25:19,673 Hand's away. Look at the hand. All gone. 578 00:25:19,756 --> 00:25:21,464 Well. 579 00:25:22,255 --> 00:25:26,130 - It seems we've reached a bit of an impasse. - I think so. 580 00:25:27,714 --> 00:25:29,881 End session. 581 00:25:40,297 --> 00:25:43,005 Well, I'd like to propose a toast 582 00:25:43,089 --> 00:25:44,506 to Andy and Cassie. 583 00:25:44,589 --> 00:25:46,339 - Welcome to the West Coast. - Hear! Hear! 584 00:25:46,422 --> 00:25:48,631 I'm sorry it took us so long to get you here. 585 00:25:48,714 --> 00:25:50,339 - But here you are. - Thank you so much. 586 00:25:50,422 --> 00:25:52,255 - Yes. - It's a beautiful home. 587 00:25:52,339 --> 00:25:54,339 - Yeah, well, you know I have a-- - And this is... 588 00:25:54,422 --> 00:25:55,881 This is quite an addition. 589 00:25:55,964 --> 00:25:57,547 Isn't it? Isn't that something? 590 00:25:57,631 --> 00:25:59,047 You know, if I tell you 591 00:25:59,130 --> 00:26:00,923 who got that for me, you're gonna be shocked. 592 00:26:01,005 --> 00:26:03,506 Larry David, the most thoughtful man 593 00:26:03,589 --> 00:26:05,964 I've ever met, had that commissioned. 594 00:26:06,047 --> 00:26:07,964 Where do you find an artist like that? 595 00:26:08,047 --> 00:26:10,422 You'll find it. You look it up. 596 00:26:10,506 --> 00:26:13,297 You know what I love about it is... 597 00:26:13,798 --> 00:26:15,339 - the size. - The dimensions. 598 00:26:15,422 --> 00:26:16,631 - Yes. I know. - Oh, the dimensions. 599 00:26:16,714 --> 00:26:18,881 Anything smaller would have felt too small. 600 00:26:18,964 --> 00:26:20,547 Bigger would have felt ostentatious. 601 00:26:20,631 --> 00:26:22,214 It's not even that, Susie. 602 00:26:22,297 --> 00:26:25,005 Know what it is? I've never seen you with, I don't know, 603 00:26:25,089 --> 00:26:26,964 with such a joy for life 604 00:26:27,047 --> 00:26:28,923 - in that painting. - Yeah, they captured that in me, didn't they? 605 00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:30,881 - Absolutely. - It's something. 606 00:26:31,005 --> 00:26:32,756 Did you have to send him a picture 607 00:26:32,839 --> 00:26:34,506 and then he painted it from that? 608 00:26:35,214 --> 00:26:36,464 Yeah. 609 00:26:36,547 --> 00:26:38,631 How long does it take once you get the artist-- 610 00:26:38,714 --> 00:26:40,547 I don't know. A couple of weeks. 611 00:26:40,631 --> 00:26:42,506 - Okay? Took a couple of weeks. - Okay. 612 00:26:42,589 --> 00:26:45,005 - Mm. - LD, what the hell's wrong with you? 613 00:26:46,714 --> 00:26:49,673 Three days now. I've gotten the results back from my cancer test. 614 00:26:49,756 --> 00:26:51,798 Not one of you bothered to call me and ask me 615 00:26:51,881 --> 00:26:53,964 if I got the results back. Not one. 616 00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:58,339 And by the way, I did, and I'm fine. Okay? 617 00:26:59,631 --> 00:27:03,589 - Skyler had this paper due for social studies. - It was on Cuba. 618 00:27:03,673 --> 00:27:05,464 We were, we're very immersed in it. 619 00:27:05,547 --> 00:27:07,798 - I'm sorry. You're right. - He's been working with her nonstop. 620 00:27:07,881 --> 00:27:10,756 And I, I, I honestly planned on it, 621 00:27:10,839 --> 00:27:13,381 but I, I, I planned on it. 622 00:27:13,464 --> 00:27:15,464 I ain't gonna lie, man. I fuckin' forgot. 623 00:27:15,547 --> 00:27:18,589 - My bad. - I already explained myself. All right? 624 00:27:18,673 --> 00:27:20,255 What kind of friends are you? 625 00:27:20,339 --> 00:27:22,130 Seriously! What kind of friends are you? 626 00:27:22,214 --> 00:27:23,964 - But you're fine, right? - Yeah, I'm fine! 627 00:27:24,047 --> 00:27:26,214 You know what? You can all go fuck yourself! 628 00:27:26,297 --> 00:27:27,506 Oh, shit! 629 00:27:27,589 --> 00:27:29,381 Holy Christ! 630 00:27:33,506 --> 00:27:37,214 You ruined my painting! You destroyed it! 631 00:27:38,714 --> 00:27:40,214 Jeff? 632 00:27:40,547 --> 00:27:43,089 What kind of piece of shit, 633 00:27:43,172 --> 00:27:45,381 motherfucker does something like that? 634 00:27:45,464 --> 00:27:47,714 Where the fuck do you get off? 635 00:27:47,798 --> 00:27:49,881 This was the prized possession 636 00:27:49,964 --> 00:27:53,005 - of this household. - I'm so sorry. 637 00:27:53,089 --> 00:27:54,756 - So... You know what? - What? 638 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:56,464 I'm gonna replace that painting. 639 00:27:56,547 --> 00:27:58,798 I'm gonna give it to the artist, he's gonna fix it, 640 00:27:58,881 --> 00:28:00,422 it's gonna be better than ever. 641 00:28:00,506 --> 00:28:03,089 You don't bring it back until it's perfect. 642 00:28:03,172 --> 00:28:05,255 - Don't worry. I won't. - Wait. Stop, stop! 643 00:28:05,339 --> 00:28:08,214 We were at LACMA, and we met this guy who restores paintings. 644 00:28:08,297 --> 00:28:11,005 - He restores paintings. He's amazing! - No, no, no, no. 645 00:28:11,089 --> 00:28:14,214 Larry, we're gonna help out. Don't you worry. 646 00:28:14,297 --> 00:28:16,964 Hey! Shut the fuck up! I told you I'm gonna do it! 647 00:28:17,047 --> 00:28:18,923 Okay! Okay! 648 00:28:19,839 --> 00:28:21,339 God! 649 00:28:21,422 --> 00:28:22,839 You know what? 650 00:28:22,923 --> 00:28:26,339 I think this whole thing can be a blessing in disguise. 651 00:28:26,422 --> 00:28:29,422 - Really? - Oh, blessing in disguise? You tell me how. 652 00:28:29,756 --> 00:28:32,089 I've never been entirely happy with this painting. 653 00:28:32,172 --> 00:28:35,422 He didn't really capture the luster of your skin. 654 00:28:35,506 --> 00:28:37,714 Or, or the sparkle in your eyes. 655 00:28:37,798 --> 00:28:39,464 The sparkle in her eyes. 656 00:28:39,547 --> 00:28:41,130 Now I realize it. 657 00:28:41,589 --> 00:28:44,089 A blessing in disguise. 658 00:28:44,172 --> 00:28:46,589 Okay. Thank you. 659 00:28:46,964 --> 00:28:49,172 - Let's eat. - Let's eat. 660 00:28:52,172 --> 00:28:53,714 So, Larry, we almost finished here. 661 00:28:53,798 --> 00:28:56,756 You got-- You're two-thirds done already. It's incredible. 662 00:28:56,839 --> 00:28:59,506 Plus, I have extra boards for you. 663 00:28:59,589 --> 00:29:01,714 I take it to your house and fix your pantry like new. 664 00:29:01,798 --> 00:29:03,214 - No charge. - What? 665 00:29:03,297 --> 00:29:05,130 - Believe me, I'm gonna pay you. - Larry, I take care of you. 666 00:29:05,214 --> 00:29:07,506 I can take the stuff to your house right now. 667 00:29:09,130 --> 00:29:12,464 Ha. Mrs. Greene. 668 00:29:12,547 --> 00:29:15,464 She make bad recommendation all over town about my business. 669 00:29:15,547 --> 00:29:16,756 - What? - Yes. 670 00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:18,881 - Oh, my God. - Remember? I make mahogany cream? 671 00:29:18,964 --> 00:29:20,047 - Yes. - I work so hard? 672 00:29:20,130 --> 00:29:21,422 - Yes. - I make it nice? 673 00:29:21,506 --> 00:29:23,381 - I know. - And what she do? She ruined my name. 674 00:29:23,464 --> 00:29:26,756 Oh, she's terrible. No friend of the working man. 675 00:29:26,839 --> 00:29:28,714 Okay. Larry, listen, 676 00:29:28,798 --> 00:29:31,673 I can go right now. I take the boards to your house, 677 00:29:31,756 --> 00:29:34,339 - and I make it fast. - Great idea. 678 00:29:46,339 --> 00:29:50,005 ...mahogany cream! 679 00:29:50,089 --> 00:29:54,631 ...mahogany cream! 680 00:29:55,673 --> 00:29:57,756 I mean, the whole thing was just a series 681 00:29:57,839 --> 00:29:59,756 of unfortunate misunderstandings. 682 00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:01,422 That wasn't Harvey Weinstein. 683 00:30:01,506 --> 00:30:03,839 That was Jeff Greene, my manager. 684 00:30:03,923 --> 00:30:06,381 I guess the culture's just sort of changing, and... 685 00:30:06,464 --> 00:30:08,464 - Hmm. Yeah. - ...um, we're 686 00:30:08,547 --> 00:30:11,964 - defining our boundaries more. - Boundaries. Boundaries. Yes. 687 00:30:12,047 --> 00:30:14,547 And personal space, like for instance, my tattoo. 688 00:30:14,631 --> 00:30:16,631 You don't get to demand to know what it's about, 689 00:30:16,714 --> 00:30:18,422 - because it's on my body. - No, of course not. Of course not. 690 00:30:18,506 --> 00:30:22,172 I, I'm not that guy. I know who you think-- I'm not that guy. 691 00:30:22,255 --> 00:30:25,047 - Okay. - We don't need lawyers or anything like that. 692 00:30:25,130 --> 00:30:28,464 Come back to work. Bring Bogey. I miss Bogey. 693 00:30:28,547 --> 00:30:30,839 I miss that little doggy. 694 00:30:30,923 --> 00:30:33,673 - I'll bring him five bowls, okay? - Okay. 695 00:30:33,756 --> 00:30:35,881 If we can go back with like a mutual respect 696 00:30:35,964 --> 00:30:37,631 and honesty, um... 697 00:30:37,714 --> 00:30:39,756 - I really appreciate your openness. - That's funny. 698 00:30:39,839 --> 00:30:42,673 You know, this is how culture moves forward. 699 00:30:42,756 --> 00:30:45,005 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 700 00:30:45,089 --> 00:30:47,673 - I'm side-sitting. - You can't side-sit with me. 701 00:30:47,756 --> 00:30:49,798 No, no. Wait. Where are you going? Stay here just one second. 702 00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:50,923 - Oh, my God. - Sit quiet. 703 00:30:51,005 --> 00:30:52,714 - Let go! Oh, my God. - Huh. 704 00:30:55,297 --> 00:30:56,964 Hmm? 705 00:30:57,798 --> 00:31:00,381 All right. You're all right. 706 00:31:00,464 --> 00:31:03,631 Let go of me! I came here with an open mind. 707 00:31:03,714 --> 00:31:06,089 - No, no, I-- - You don't get to grab me, 708 00:31:06,172 --> 00:31:08,714 - at a banquette or side-sit! - No, I had to side-sit. 709 00:31:08,798 --> 00:31:10,172 I had to side-sit because... 710 00:31:10,255 --> 00:31:12,005 I had to side-sit because I-- 711 00:31:12,089 --> 00:31:14,255 Aah, what are you-- No, Alice! 712 00:31:16,673 --> 00:31:18,255 Hey, uh... 713 00:31:18,339 --> 00:31:19,631 How'd those test results turn out? 714 00:31:19,714 --> 00:31:21,089 You know, everybody here is really pulling for you. 715 00:31:21,172 --> 00:31:24,339 Oh, they turned out just fine. Thank you very much. 716 00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:26,881 What a blessing. 717 00:31:30,547 --> 00:31:33,089 So Victor and Sammi want to buy a house. What do you think? 718 00:31:33,172 --> 00:31:34,631 We give 'em a down payment. 719 00:31:34,714 --> 00:31:36,964 Is that too generous? You know, I never know. 720 00:31:37,714 --> 00:31:40,464 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Slow down, slow down, slow down. 721 00:31:40,547 --> 00:31:42,506 What the fuck? 722 00:31:42,589 --> 00:31:45,881 Larry, what the hell did you do to my picture? 723 00:31:45,964 --> 00:31:48,881 Oh, my God! It was beautiful, 724 00:31:48,964 --> 00:31:51,381 and it's all destroyed! 725 00:31:51,464 --> 00:31:53,547 You piece of shit, Larry! 726 00:31:53,631 --> 00:31:57,631 You piece of fucking turd nothing! Fuck you! 727 00:31:57,714 --> 00:31:59,547 Asshole! 728 00:31:59,631 --> 00:32:01,130 Mr. David. 729 00:32:01,214 --> 00:32:04,297 Did you ask Ms. Huff inappropriate questions 730 00:32:04,381 --> 00:32:06,631 about her relationship with her dog, Bogey? 731 00:32:07,047 --> 00:32:09,839 - I guess that all depends on-- - Wait. Objection. Relevance. 732 00:32:09,923 --> 00:32:12,422 When she asked you to stop asking questions about her tattoo, 733 00:32:12,506 --> 00:32:13,839 did you respect her wishes? 734 00:32:13,923 --> 00:32:17,089 I was very curious about it. There's a guy with one eye. 735 00:32:17,172 --> 00:32:20,005 I thought it might have been Mr. Clean. 736 00:32:20,964 --> 00:32:22,506 Do you have any idea? 737 00:32:22,923 --> 00:32:25,005 I have no further questions for the witness. 738 00:32:25,089 --> 00:32:26,923 - You may go. - Thank you. 739 00:32:27,005 --> 00:32:28,881 Okay. I actually just have a couple, Lucy. 740 00:32:28,964 --> 00:32:30,589 Mr. David, the answers you're giving today 741 00:32:30,673 --> 00:32:32,214 are your sworn testimony, isn't that right? 742 00:32:32,297 --> 00:32:34,547 - Mm-hmm. - You came here of your own volition, 743 00:32:34,631 --> 00:32:35,923 - voluntarily? - I did. 744 00:32:36,005 --> 00:32:37,214 Because you want the truth to be known. 745 00:32:37,297 --> 00:32:40,005 - Absolutely. - I just have one question. 746 00:32:41,339 --> 00:32:43,172 Did you... 747 00:32:44,214 --> 00:32:46,714 use my bathroom? 748 00:32:48,047 --> 00:32:50,798 - No. - I grow tired of asking, Mr. David. 749 00:32:50,881 --> 00:32:52,839 And I remind you, you're under oath. 750 00:32:52,923 --> 00:32:57,464 Did you or did you not use my bathroom?! 751 00:32:57,547 --> 00:32:59,714 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 752 00:34:03,381 --> 00:34:05,005 - What are you doing? - I think I'm eating an apple. 753 00:34:05,089 --> 00:34:07,005 Okay. I'm worried you're not taking this seriously. 754 00:34:07,089 --> 00:34:08,255 You're blithely eating an apple here. 755 00:34:08,506 --> 00:34:10,214 There's no other way to eat an apple but blithely. 756 00:34:10,297 --> 00:34:12,339 - Yeah, but I need-- - That's how apples are eaten. 757 00:34:12,340 --> 00:34:13,700 _ 758 00:34:13,714 --> 00:34:15,089 How do you serve eggs without toast? 759 00:34:15,172 --> 00:34:16,756 You can't serve the eggs without the toast. 760 00:34:16,839 --> 00:34:19,172 You are like a president in the 18th century 761 00:34:19,255 --> 00:34:20,589 on the back of a train saying, 762 00:34:20,673 --> 00:34:24,339 "And there will always be toast with eggs." 763 00:34:24,422 --> 00:34:27,464 I think you can introduce me sort of as a renaissance man. 764 00:34:27,756 --> 00:34:30,089 A guy who speaks six languages. 765 00:34:30,172 --> 00:34:32,464 You wanna impress people with lies? 766 00:34:32,547 --> 00:34:33,923 Well, how else do you impress them?