1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,130
ADULT SHELDON: <i>In any ecosystem,</i>

2
00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:07,759
<i>you'll find a delicate balance
between predator and prey.</i>

3
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,519
<i>Some well-known predators</i>

4
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:12,559
<i>include</i> Panthera leo,

5
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,229
Ursus arctos,

6
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:17,449
<i>and star of the 1987 film</i> Predator,

7
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,250
<i>Predator.</i>

8
00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:21,109
<i>Now, examples of prey</i>

9
00:00:21,110 --> 00:00:24,389
<i>include</i> Oryctolagus cuniculus,

10
00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:26,490
Gallus gallus domesticus,

11
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:29,409
<i>and weighing in at 58
pounds soaking wet,</i>

12
00:00:29,410 --> 00:00:31,429
Diminutive homo novus...

13
00:00:31,430 --> 00:00:33,459
<i>Curiously, a close relative</i>

14
00:00:33,460 --> 00:00:36,000
<i>of</i> Gallus gallus domesticus.

15
00:00:36,010 --> 00:00:37,300
♪ Two, three, four ♪

16
00:00:37,310 --> 00:00:39,409
["FIX ME" BY BLACK FLAG PLAYS]

17
00:00:39,410 --> 00:00:42,079
[KIDS SHOUTING]

18
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,520
♪ Fix me, fix my head ♪

19
00:00:44,530 --> 00:00:46,970
♪ Fix me please, I don't
want to be dead... ♪

20
00:00:47,970 --> 00:00:49,139
LUIS: Cooper.

21
00:00:49,140 --> 00:00:50,549
Your stop.

22
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:54,189
Would you mind dropping
me off closer to my house?

23
00:00:54,190 --> 00:00:56,159
You know I'm not allowed to do that.

24
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,159
What if I did your taxes?

25
00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,770
Sorry, kiddo.

26
00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:06,330
I could've gotten you a nice refund.

27
00:01:06,340 --> 00:01:07,679
ADULT SHELDON: <i>The perilous journey</i>

28
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,769
<i>from the bus stop to my front door</i>

29
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:12,439
<i>was 97.5 meters.</i>

30
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,420
<i>FYI, insisting on
using the metric system</i>

31
00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:18,980
<i>in East Texas is another reason
I was hunted by predators.</i>

32
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,760
♪ ♪

33
00:01:50,180 --> 00:01:53,180
[PANTING] <i>Homo novus</i> needs a Yoo-hoo.

34
00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:57,799
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

35
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,600
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

36
00:02:00,610 --> 00:02:03,209
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

37
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:06,110
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

38
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:12,820
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

39
00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:19,670
Jiu-jitsu?

40
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,579
I've decided to learn self-defense.

41
00:02:22,580 --> 00:02:24,379
- Why?
- I'm quite small,

42
00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:26,649
and will be for several years,

43
00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:28,649
maybe even more if I'm a late bloomer.

44
00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:31,219
Your dad's big, maybe
you'll take after him.

45
00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:32,589
We both like my mom.

46
00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:34,919
I think that's where
the similarities end.

47
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,620
You know, one of the books mentioned

48
00:02:36,630 --> 00:02:38,629
a Vietnamese martial art.

49
00:02:38,630 --> 00:02:40,829
Vovinam. I'm a blue belt.

50
00:02:40,830 --> 00:02:42,960
- Wow.
- Don't be impressed.

51
00:02:42,970 --> 00:02:45,129
It's what you get when
your mom buys the uniform.

52
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:46,899
Do you remember any of it?

53
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,580
I don't even know where the belt is.

54
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:53,839
The book says jiu-jitsu

55
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,679
is based on using your attacker's

56
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,019
momentum against them.

57
00:02:57,020 --> 00:02:59,779
It's just physics. Come at me.

58
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,649
Like, run at you?

59
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:04,539
Well, I'm new to this, so
maybe just walk quickly.

60
00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,100
And what happens when I get to you?

61
00:03:06,110 --> 00:03:08,419
I'll use your inertia to take you down.

62
00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:09,820
Okay.

63
00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:11,229
♪ Hit it ♪

64
00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:13,200
♪ It takes two to make
a thing go right ♪

65
00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:15,359
[GRUNTING]

66
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,969
And when does inertia take me down?

67
00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:19,929
[STRAINING]: Any second.

68
00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:22,129
♪ I got an idea that I wanna share ♪

69
00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:24,630
♪ You don't like it, so
what? I don't care... ♪

70
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,600
I don't understand.

71
00:03:26,610 --> 00:03:28,579
I'm using physics.

72
00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:29,930
[GRUNTING]

73
00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:32,110
♪ All of my followers 'cause
all I want is respect... ♪

74
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,780
This leg lock is called
an Outside Ashi Garami.

75
00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:37,149
What happens next?

76
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,680
That depends, is this your foot or mine?

77
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:41,569
♪ It takes two to make it outta sight. ♪

78
00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:43,459
♪ ♪

79
00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:46,290
LUIS: Cooper. Your stop.

80
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,540
[PANTING]

81
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,150
Ahh.

82
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,969
I bowled a new high score last night.

83
00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:15,150
Nice.

84
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,360
- I got two turkeys.
- What's a turkey?

85
00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:19,990
It's three strikes in a row.

86
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,880
Why do they call it a turkey?

87
00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:25,669
Well, when they first invented bowling,

88
00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:29,060
they used to just throw
frozen turkeys at the pins.

89
00:04:29,070 --> 00:04:31,479
Eventually, they switched to balls

90
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,009
to cut down on the smell.

91
00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,640
Why you lying to her?

92
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,079
I find it keeps my
mind sharp. [CHUCKLES]

93
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,210
Sheldon, breakfast!

94
00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:41,880
SHELDON: Be right there!

95
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,859
MARY: Sheldon!

96
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:50,220
Coming!

97
00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:59,170
[RUSTLING]

98
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,209
Hello.

99
00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:05,780
MARY: Shelly, you all right?

100
00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:07,669
Yes. I must be a little sore

101
00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:10,379
from doing jiu-jitsu with Tam yesterday.

102
00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:12,199
Why were you doing jiu-jitsu?

103
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,180
We're boys. Roughhousing is what we do.

104
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,550
[POPPING]

105
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:23,320
- What was that?
- What was what?

106
00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:24,629
That sound.

107
00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:26,260
What sound?

108
00:05:26,270 --> 00:05:27,800
[POPPING]

109
00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:33,430
What's all this?

110
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,069
An extra layer of protection.

111
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:37,649
Protection from what?

112
00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:40,409
Sweetie, is someone bothering you?

113
00:05:40,410 --> 00:05:43,279
- Yes.
- Who is it?

114
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:45,049
I'd rather not talk about it.

115
00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:46,810
No, I want a name right now.

116
00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:48,029
Mary.

117
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:49,319
Have you been hurting him?

118
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,289
Only with my words.

119
00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:52,819
Tell me who it is, Shelly.

120
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,050
Mary, slow down.

121
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,720
Don't tell me to slow down.

122
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,729
- Someone is bullying him.
- Okay.

123
00:05:57,730 --> 00:05:59,269
Okay.

124
00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:01,739
Sheldon, you can't go to
school wearing all that.

125
00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:03,180
Go to your room and take it off.

126
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:04,519
Yes, sir.

127
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,120
[RUSTLING, POPPING]

128
00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:08,669
You go with him.

129
00:06:08,670 --> 00:06:10,219
But my cereal's gonna get soggy.

130
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:11,939
- Go.
- [SIGHS]

131
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:13,880
I'd like one nice morning.

132
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,849
Why aren't you more upset about this?

133
00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:20,509
I am. I just think we
should proceed with caution.

134
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:23,329
- Someone is hurting our son.
- I understand.

135
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:25,319
But handling bullies is tricky. It...

136
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,450
It's easy to make things worse.

137
00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:29,289
And what makes you the expert?

138
00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:32,229
Honey, I was a bully.

139
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:33,529
MEEMAW: He's right.

140
00:06:33,530 --> 00:06:35,860
You get involved in
this in the wrong way,

141
00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:38,799
and they'll take it out on Sheldon.

142
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,550
Well, I'm sorry, but
I can't just stand by.

143
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,409
Georgie, I need to talk
to you, and wake up,

144
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,979
you're gonna be late.

145
00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:55,279
Got it covered. I slept in my clothes.

146
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,420
Oh, Lord. Look, somebody has
been picking on your brother.

147
00:06:58,430 --> 00:06:59,659
You know anything about it?

148
00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:00,769
No.

149
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:03,320
You better not be covering for anybody.

150
00:07:03,330 --> 00:07:05,229
I'm not. Most kids at school ignore him,

151
00:07:05,230 --> 00:07:06,790
and the girls all think he's cute.

152
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,259
It's kind of annoying.

153
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,660
Well, I need you to look after him.

154
00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:11,679
Why?

155
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,539
Because I'm your mother,
and I'm asking you nicely.

156
00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:16,039
What if I don't want to?

157
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,830
I don't care, you're doing it.

158
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,609
How was that nice?

159
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:25,379
So there I was flying above the city,

160
00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:27,749
but when I woke up, I couldn't fly.

161
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:30,180
That's like the dream you had
where you were dating Madonna,

162
00:07:30,190 --> 00:07:32,149
but when you woke up, you weren't.

163
00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:33,350
Exactly.

164
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,659
You ever have the ones where
your teeth are falling out?

165
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:38,729
Better my teeth than my hair, but...

166
00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:41,599
- Sheldon?
- Over here.

167
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,060
- What are you doing?
- Hiding.

168
00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:45,300
From who?

169
00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:50,009
Is Billy the one giving you trouble?

170
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,109
No.

171
00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:53,209
His dad?

172
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:54,919
No...

173
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,449
♪ ♪

174
00:07:57,450 --> 00:07:58,720
No.

175
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:02,620
She's a demon.

176
00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:09,329
The little Sparks girl?

177
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:11,759
You're kidding. She seems so sweet.

178
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,490
He says she slaps him
around, takes his lunch money.

179
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,989
She even put a tadpole down his shirt.

180
00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:20,310
Poor kid, he tucks in those shirts.

181
00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:32,669
- She looks harmless.
- She's cute.

182
00:08:32,670 --> 00:08:34,969
So she probably gets away with stuff.

183
00:08:34,970 --> 00:08:36,650
I'm like that.

184
00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:40,450
I wonder if stray cats
poop in that sandbox.

185
00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:41,660
MARY: George.

186
00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:46,030
You need to talk to her parents.

187
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,439
Me? Why me?

188
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,549
Because you're more
intimidating than me.

189
00:08:50,550 --> 00:08:52,440
That's rich.

190
00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:03,969
Hey, Billy.

191
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:05,930
Hello, Missy's dad.

192
00:09:05,940 --> 00:09:09,069
- Is your father home?
- Yes.

193
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,639
Could you get him for me?

194
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,250
Happy to.

195
00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:15,509
Dad, it's Missy's dad!

196
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:17,960
He's also Sheldon's dad!

197
00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:19,479
HERSCHEL: Well, howdy, neighbor.

198
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,529
Hey, Herschel.

199
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:22,219
What brings you by? Chickens too loud?

200
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:24,569
- Nah, they been fine.
- Good, good.

201
00:09:24,570 --> 00:09:26,450
Fried up the noisy one last week.

202
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:28,609
That shut him up.
Anyway, how can I help?

203
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,229
Uh, well...

204
00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:33,190
It's come to my attention that, uh...

205
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,099
Sheldon's run into a bit of
trouble with your daughter.

206
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,629
What kind of trouble?

207
00:09:37,630 --> 00:09:40,599
He says she been beating on him.

208
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,769
- My Bobbi?
- Yeah.

209
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:45,540
This one? The six-year-old?

210
00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:48,279
Bobbi, get over here!

211
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,649
You realize I've taken
dumps bigger than this kid.

212
00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:54,079
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hey, babydoll, uh,

213
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,710
Mr. Cooper says that you've
been picking on Sheldon.

214
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,789
- Now, is that true?
- No, Daddy.

215
00:10:00,790 --> 00:10:02,320
Are you sure?

216
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:05,229
Okay, go wash up for dinner.

217
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,990
I don't know what to tell you, George.

218
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,429
I mean, is it, is it possible

219
00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:11,250
your son has a little crush on her?

220
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:13,259
Oh, I don't think he's wired that way.

221
00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:15,649
Oh, are you saying that he's a...

222
00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:18,670
No, no, I'm saying he's
a bookworm. [CHUCKLES]

223
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,909
Unless she's math or a
dictionary, he ain't interested.

224
00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:23,509
- Mm.
- Yeah.

225
00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:26,079
Thanks for hearin' me out.

226
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,490
Your wife sent you
over here, didn't she?

227
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,319
- I don't want to talk about it.
- [CHUCKLES]

228
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,519
I bet she did!

229
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,819
Not talkin' about it!

230
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:34,319
Tell her I said hi!

231
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,160
[CHUCKLES]

232
00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:39,829
How'd it go?

233
00:10:39,830 --> 00:10:42,199
Uh, good. Yeah.

234
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,669
I handled it.

235
00:10:43,670 --> 00:10:45,139
Oh, thank the Lord.

236
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:46,969
Yeah. Me and the Lord.

237
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:48,450
Team effort.

238
00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:54,380
[WHIRRING]

239
00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,419
Hello, Bobbi.

240
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,989
You told on me.

241
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:11,029
Well, actually, my brother

242
00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:14,459
figured it out, so, technically,
I would argue that I didn't.

243
00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:16,560
Doesn't matter.

244
00:11:16,570 --> 00:11:19,130
Uh, I should let you know,

245
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:20,839
I've read a book on jiu-jitsu.

246
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,070
And I'm prepared to throw it at you.

247
00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:29,209
[SCREAMING]

248
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,010
Shelly, it's just Bactine.

249
00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:33,010
Aah!

250
00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:35,570
I didn't even put it on you yet.

251
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,349
[SHUSHING SOFTLY]

252
00:11:37,350 --> 00:11:39,689
You want to tell me what happened?

253
00:11:39,690 --> 00:11:42,489
Bobbi Sparks came into the garage...

254
00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:44,060
And she attacked you?

255
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,959
Not exactly. I tried
to use jiu-jitsu on her,

256
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,499
but I tripped and fell.

257
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:52,420
Aw, baby. I'm so sorry you're
havin' to deal with this.

258
00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:53,619
It's okay.

259
00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:56,159
German philosopher
Friedrich Nietzsche said,

260
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,139
"That which does not
kill us makes us stronger."

261
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:01,260
And do you feel stronger?

262
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,010
No.

263
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,649
How are the knees?

264
00:12:06,650 --> 00:12:08,219
Better, thank you.

265
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:09,949
Good.

266
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:12,709
And regarding this jiu-jitsu
stuff, you should know

267
00:12:12,710 --> 00:12:15,240
that a man's not supposed
to raise his hand to a woman.

268
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:17,880
Oh, I won't. I don't
want to hurt myself again.

269
00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:24,790
Did you ever have a bully
when you were growing up?

270
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,690
Have you met your grandma?

271
00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:31,269
I thought you said you
handled it next door.

272
00:12:31,270 --> 00:12:33,040
I did say that.

273
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:36,479
Where you goin'?

274
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,240
To handle it.

275
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:40,549
[QUIETLY]: Should've been
you in the first place.

276
00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:41,780
What?

277
00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:42,949
Good luck!

278
00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:45,489
[DOOR SHUTS]

279
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,760
Way to go, Scooby! That's my newshound!

280
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,470
Missy, I could really use your help.

281
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,559
With what?

282
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:56,029
I'm being bullied by Bobbi Sparks.

283
00:12:56,030 --> 00:12:57,699
Hilarious. Go on.

284
00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:58,930
Madame Doo!

285
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,469
That's me!

286
00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:04,239
Mom says a man should never
raise his hand to a woman.

287
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,760
But I believe I've found a loophole.

288
00:13:06,770 --> 00:13:08,809
You're a woman, so
you're allowed to hit her

289
00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:10,079
as much as you want.

290
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,549
Why would I do that?

291
00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,010
Because I'm willing to pay you.

292
00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:14,079
How much?

293
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,239
My life savings, four dollars.

294
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,959
That's a good start.

295
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,450
Now, let's talk TV privileges.

296
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:21,719
What do you want?

297
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,359
Complete control every
afternoon for two months.

298
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,559
That's when Professor Proton is on.

299
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,770
I know. Sucks for you.

300
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,530
[SIGHS]

301
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,939
I'm on fire!

302
00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:39,770
[LAUGHS]

303
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:41,139
Hello, Brenda.

304
00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:42,809
Oh, hey, Mary.

305
00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:43,840
How many lanes you need?

306
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:46,210
Actually, I'm here to talk to you.

307
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:48,889
Seems that our kids are
havin' a little problem.

308
00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:50,789
Yeah. Herschel told me.

309
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:52,750
Oh, good, good.

310
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,260
So, I was wondering what
you're plannin' to do about it,

311
00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:57,830
'cause the situation doesn't
seem to be gettin' any better.

312
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,509
Well, if you haven't noticed,

313
00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:01,229
I'm at work right now.

314
00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:03,160
I see that.

315
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:04,499
But you understand

316
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,799
that your daughter's
being abusive to my son.

317
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,169
Well, maybe your son
needs to grow a pair.

318
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:12,109
And in due time, he will.

319
00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:13,770
But right now, I expect you

320
00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:15,940
to teach your children how to behave.

321
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,079
Connie Tucker to the front desk, please.

322
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,819
Connie Tucker.

323
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,349
Why are you calling her?

324
00:14:23,350 --> 00:14:25,580
You say my daughter's
harassing your son.

325
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:28,159
Well, her daughter's harassing me.

326
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,089
Hey, Mary.

327
00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:32,259
- What are you doin' here?
- Well,

328
00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:34,940
I was hopin' to have a rational
conversation about Shelly,

329
00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:37,260
but there's only one
person being rational.

330
00:14:37,270 --> 00:14:38,969
[GRUNTS] Uh, and it ain't you.

331
00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:41,070
Could you excuse us for just a minute?

332
00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:46,339
Do you understand that
you are in the place

333
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,539
where I socialize three
to four days a week?

334
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,949
So you care more about
bowling than your grandson?

335
00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:52,279
Of course not. I'm just saying

336
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,049
maybe there's a better
way to go about it.

337
00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:56,449
Now, I'm warnin' you,
Brenda is one mean...

338
00:14:56,450 --> 00:14:58,189
I know you don't like bad language,

339
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,859
but we are in a bowling
alley... One mean bitch.

340
00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:03,369
Well, I can be mean, too.

341
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,059
Okay, you listen to me. You get your kid

342
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,190
in line or I...

343
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,399
What are you doing?

344
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,280
Get out of here.

345
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:11,970
This is my place of business.

346
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,569
And now I see where
your daughter gets it.

347
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:16,590
BRENDA: You know what?

348
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:18,489
I have been nothin' but nice

349
00:15:18,490 --> 00:15:20,709
to you and your family
since the day y'all moved in,

350
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:22,029
and I'm over it.

351
00:15:22,030 --> 00:15:23,540
Watching you walk around all holier

352
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:24,919
than thou, like you're better

353
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,059
than everyone else.

354
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,149
Well, guess what,

355
00:15:27,150 --> 00:15:28,510
you're not.

356
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:32,890
I'm gonna pray for you.

357
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,390
She says that to me all the time.

358
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,650
I'm not even sure she does it.

359
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:51,909
How'd it go?

360
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,999
I don't want to talk about it.

361
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,069
[SNIFFS] Is that pine?

362
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:57,709
We're not talkin' about it.

363
00:15:57,710 --> 00:15:59,870
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- And you get that!

364
00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,579
Herschel.

365
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:07,610
Hey, George.

366
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:09,209
It has come to my attention

367
00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:11,889
that your wife went
to speak with my wife

368
00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:13,519
at her place of work,

369
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,420
- and, uh...
- She send you over here?

370
00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:18,629
Uh, the-the important thing
is that I'm here to tell you

371
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:21,429
that, uh, Mary's behavior
was inappropriate.

372
00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:23,160
You know, it's interesting.

373
00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:25,099
When I came to your
house, you were laughin',

374
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,169
and...

375
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:27,739
now you're all serious.

376
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,200
Why is that?

377
00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:31,169
What do you say we go talk about this

378
00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,970
somewhere a little more comfortable?

379
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,740
MARY [SHARPLY]: Who's at the door?

380
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,280
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

381
00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:46,450
Make yourself at home.

382
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,559
Oh, boy.

383
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,889
You hang out in here?

384
00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:49,989
Sure.

385
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:51,259
Once you get used to the smell,

386
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,099
it's not so bad. [CHUCKLES]

387
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,679
I coach a high school football team.

388
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,919
This smells like petunias.

389
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,469
[LAUGHS] I like to...

390
00:16:57,470 --> 00:16:59,910
take a break from the family and...

391
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,739
come out here and watch the games.

392
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:04,439
- Ooh!
- [CHUCKLES]

393
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,759
[MUSIC PLAYING]

394
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,639
Your wife don't mind?

395
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:08,779
She don't know.

396
00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:10,279
She's scared to death of chickens.

397
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,110
- Is that right?
- Once I found out,

398
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,619
buildin' this coop was a no-brainer.

399
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,549
[LAUGHING]

400
00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:18,880
♪ I sure did love... ♪

401
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,829
You were gone so long.

402
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,190
How did it go?

403
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,909
Well...

404
00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:29,799
[ENGLISH ACCENT]: One lump or two?

405
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,199
Two, please.

406
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,869
Billy?

407
00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:36,539
Why would I want lumpy tea?

408
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:37,969
Isn't he pretty?

409
00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,139
Very pretty.

410
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:41,409
I feel pretty.

411
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:45,749
♪ Girl, you know it's true ♪

412
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:47,819
♪ My love... ♪

413
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,680
I handled it.

414
00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:51,750
Thank you so much.

415
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,470
We're family. It's what we do.

416
00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:58,290
[HERSCHEL AND GEORGE SR. CHUCKLING]

417
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,959
Listen, I'm sorry my wife
went down to the bowling alley.

418
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,979
Please, I'm sorry Brenda
made me come to your door.

419
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:05,109
I'm not.

420
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:07,499
This is the most fun I've had all week.

421
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,700
I-I feel bad about the
whole thing with the kids.

422
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,609
Hey, it happens.

423
00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:15,340
I know, but Bobbi shouldn't be
beatin' on Sheldon like that.

424
00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:17,080
- It's not okay.
- What's not okay

425
00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:19,379
is Sheldon gettin' beat
up by a little girl.

426
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:20,849
Well...

427
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,149
Yeah.

428
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:23,989
[BOTH CHUCKLING]

429
00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:25,979
Look, I'll talk to Bobbi.

430
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,080
I don't know if it'll
help, but I'll try.

431
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:30,389
- Hey, you're a good man.
- Mm.

432
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:33,020
Yeah, I-I should be headin' back.

433
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,190
Mm.

434
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,860
All right, well, look,
come on by anytime.

435
00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:38,430
Yeah.

436
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,139
You know, we should obably
get our stories straight

437
00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:43,169
before we talk to our respective...

438
00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:44,870
- mates.
- Sure.

439
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,709
What do you want to say?

440
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,379
How 'bout this?

441
00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:50,379
We had words,

442
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,110
it almost got ugly,

443
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,579
but we came to an understanding.

444
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:54,690
- I like that.
- Yeah.

445
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:55,999
You want to take a swing at me?

446
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,069
Make it look real?

447
00:18:57,070 --> 00:19:00,550
I have a freakishly
high tolerance for pain.

448
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,849
No, no. But you're sweet for offering.

449
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,519
- You have a good night.
- You, too, pal. [CHUCKLES]

450
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,829
BRENDA: Herschel!

451
00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:08,680
Where the hell are you?!

452
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:09,999
Shh.

453
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,569
[QUIETLY]: I built a
hidey-hole under here,

454
00:19:12,570 --> 00:19:15,839
but there's only room for one of us.

455
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,209
Where is that fat dumbass?

456
00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:22,009
Believe it or not, that means
I'm gettin' lucky tonight.

457
00:19:22,010 --> 00:19:24,549
Y'all have an odd relationship.

458
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:27,279
Love is a mysterious thing.

459
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,050
BRENDA: Herschel!

460
00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:36,889
ADULT SHELDON: <i>Existing in a
world of predators isn't easy,</i>

461
00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:40,260
<i>but we prey have developed
several natural defenses</i>

462
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:41,530
<i>to help us survive.</i>

463
00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:43,060
<i>There's playing dead,</i>

464
00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:45,519
- <i>warning calls, camouflage...</i>
- [BICYCLE BELL RINGS]

465
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,300
♪ ♪

466
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:50,209
<i>and, last but certainly not least,</i>

467
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:52,009
<i>good old-fashioned running away.</i>

468
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:53,340
[SCREAMING]

469
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,170
<i>A little screaming never hurts either.</i>

470
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:05,370
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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