1 00:00:01,825 --> 00:00:03,499 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:03,639 --> 00:00:08,435 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 3 00:00:08,574 --> 00:00:11,242 Okay, I just wanted to take you through 4 00:00:11,325 --> 00:00:13,533 the main points of the sexual harassment complaint 5 00:00:13,616 --> 00:00:15,740 - from your assistant. - Right. Right. Right. 6 00:00:15,823 --> 00:00:18,199 The first contention is you yanked at her clothes. 7 00:00:18,282 --> 00:00:20,865 (scoffs) I yanked at her-- I cleaned my glasses. 8 00:00:20,949 --> 00:00:22,740 - Cleaned your glasses. - Her shirttail was sticking out. 9 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,407 I cleaned my glasses. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 10 00:00:24,490 --> 00:00:27,198 - Send me to the cooler. - I don't want you to worry about it. 11 00:00:27,281 --> 00:00:28,656 I can handle this. 12 00:00:28,739 --> 00:00:32,281 If she gets anything at all here, it would be a travesty. 13 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,905 And I would, I would leave the country. 14 00:00:34,988 --> 00:00:37,696 I don't know where I'd go, but I would leave. 15 00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:40,405 I hear Canada is a good place, maybe. 16 00:00:40,489 --> 00:00:42,612 - But it's cold. - I don't recommend moving to Canada. 17 00:00:42,695 --> 00:00:45,612 What about-- what about like a Pacific island or something? 18 00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:48,612 I want to assure you that as upsetting as this is, 19 00:00:48,695 --> 00:00:51,611 I think we'll either be able to make it go away 20 00:00:51,694 --> 00:00:53,611 or come to a reasonable settlement. 21 00:00:53,694 --> 00:00:55,945 - What? Come to a what? - An amicable arrangement-- 22 00:00:56,028 --> 00:00:58,653 A settlement? A reasonable settlement? 23 00:00:58,736 --> 00:01:01,902 "Millions for defense. Not one cent for tribute." 24 00:01:01,985 --> 00:01:04,777 That's what we said when the British were impressing our seamen. 25 00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:07,277 You, you know they tried to impress our seamen, right? 26 00:01:07,361 --> 00:01:10,235 They'd be on the ship, they'd yell across at one of our ships. 27 00:01:10,318 --> 00:01:14,609 "Hey, there! We have the best dental plan in all of Europe. 28 00:01:14,692 --> 00:01:18,608 Why, look at our bicorn hats and fancy brass buttons. 29 00:01:18,691 --> 00:01:21,775 How's that, sailors? Are you impressed by that?" 30 00:01:21,858 --> 00:01:23,691 Anything else we haven't gone over? 31 00:01:23,775 --> 00:01:26,024 - Hmm. - Okay. 32 00:01:26,107 --> 00:01:28,815 If anything comes to you after this conversation... 33 00:01:28,899 --> 00:01:31,107 - You'll be the first to know. - You're in your car, you're driving home... 34 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,483 - Yeah. - ...pick up the phone. 35 00:01:32,565 --> 00:01:33,774 - Really? - Yeah. 36 00:01:33,857 --> 00:01:36,731 If I do happen to call you, which I very well could, 37 00:01:36,814 --> 00:01:40,482 does that mean that I'll be charged for the time? 38 00:01:40,564 --> 00:01:44,356 In this office, we, uh, we try to use a holistic approach 39 00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:46,189 - to compensation. - Mm. 40 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:48,314 We want our clients not to be inhibited 41 00:01:48,397 --> 00:01:50,605 in their use of our services. 42 00:01:50,688 --> 00:01:52,396 So you charge me. 43 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,687 Yeah. 44 00:01:53,771 --> 00:01:56,604 Uh, all right, I think that takes care of it. 45 00:01:56,687 --> 00:01:58,854 - May I use your bathroom? - Yeah, the bathroom's, uh, 46 00:01:58,938 --> 00:02:00,771 just to your right, down the hall. 47 00:02:00,853 --> 00:02:02,686 Right there at reception where you came in, there's a little jog in the hallway. 48 00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:07,062 Yeah. No. I already saw that, but I'm here, and, you know, it's... 49 00:02:07,145 --> 00:02:10,685 - an infinitely better bathroom than to send me to a public-- - Oh, it's nothing special. 50 00:02:10,769 --> 00:02:13,019 You'll be much happier down the hall. We just redid 'em. They're great. 51 00:02:13,102 --> 00:02:14,852 I'll leave it exactly the way I found it. 52 00:02:14,936 --> 00:02:17,269 I'm like a murderer going in there. 53 00:02:17,353 --> 00:02:21,518 I completely expunge all evidence that I was ever there. 54 00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:24,268 Motion denied, as they say in the profession. 55 00:02:27,934 --> 00:02:29,558 Where is it? 56 00:02:29,642 --> 00:02:32,100 Roger: Down the hall and to the right. 57 00:02:33,142 --> 00:02:34,142 Hi. 58 00:02:34,226 --> 00:02:37,724 - Mr. David. - Validation, please. 59 00:02:39,641 --> 00:02:41,058 (scoffs) 60 00:02:41,141 --> 00:02:43,391 Is that a problem? 61 00:02:43,475 --> 00:02:45,556 Well, I mean, to be perfectly honest, 62 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,681 do you really think that you need it? 63 00:02:47,765 --> 00:02:49,890 It's not about the money, okay? 64 00:02:49,973 --> 00:02:53,015 It's about having to go into your pants pocket, 65 00:02:53,098 --> 00:02:55,264 in a car when you're paying. 66 00:02:55,348 --> 00:02:58,348 Have you ever been in a car trying to get to your pocket? 67 00:02:58,431 --> 00:03:01,306 - It does seem like a great deal of effort. - Yes. 68 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,554 This is why homeless people don't make a lot of money 69 00:03:03,638 --> 00:03:06,638 from people in cars, 'cause nobody wants to go into their pockets. 70 00:03:07,138 --> 00:03:09,180 There you are, Mr. David. You have a lovely day. 71 00:03:09,263 --> 00:03:11,553 Yeah. Uh, you know what? 72 00:03:11,637 --> 00:03:13,678 This is only for an hour. 73 00:03:14,471 --> 00:03:16,678 I was here for at least an hour-ten. 74 00:03:18,803 --> 00:03:20,011 Sure thing. 75 00:03:20,094 --> 00:03:21,761 Here, Mr. David. You have a good day. 76 00:03:21,844 --> 00:03:24,636 Hope to see you again. I intend to be in this building a lot. 77 00:03:24,719 --> 00:03:27,136 - That's fantastic. - (elevator dings) 78 00:03:27,844 --> 00:03:30,302 (phone chiming) 79 00:03:35,510 --> 00:03:36,385 Hello? 80 00:03:36,469 --> 00:03:38,842 Larry, uh, this is Dr. Bahn. 81 00:03:38,926 --> 00:03:43,259 - Yeah? - I'm not liking some of the numbers I'm seeing 82 00:03:43,343 --> 00:03:46,091 and would like to test you for thyroid cancer. 83 00:03:46,175 --> 00:03:47,342 (gasps softly) 84 00:03:47,425 --> 00:03:49,467 Dr. Bahn (over phone): I would like to get an MRI 85 00:03:49,549 --> 00:03:50,925 just to be safe. 86 00:03:51,008 --> 00:03:52,925 Is there a mass? 87 00:03:53,008 --> 00:03:54,591 Yes. There is a mass. 88 00:03:54,674 --> 00:03:58,007 Has it... spread? 89 00:03:58,090 --> 00:03:59,757 Well, that we don't know, and that's why 90 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,590 I'd like to get you in for some tests today. 91 00:04:01,673 --> 00:04:04,381 - What are my odds? Dr. Bahn: - Uh, Larry, it's way too early 92 00:04:04,465 --> 00:04:05,797 to be thinking that way. 93 00:04:05,881 --> 00:04:07,797 Just contact my office, and, uh, 94 00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,048 we should get the results in two days. 95 00:04:10,131 --> 00:04:11,881 (groans) 96 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,505 (table whirring) 97 00:04:27,629 --> 00:04:30,586 Andy: - And a two of hearts. Richard: - Ooh, lucky you. 98 00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:31,794 Possible flush, no straight. 99 00:04:31,878 --> 00:04:33,003 - Go ahead, Leon. You got the bet. - Woo! 100 00:04:33,086 --> 00:04:34,378 - You got the bet. - See what I got. 101 00:04:34,462 --> 00:04:36,295 Larry: - Come on, spend some money. - Bam! 102 00:04:36,378 --> 00:04:37,295 - Nope. Andy: - Swat? 103 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,294 - Richard? - Two. 104 00:04:39,377 --> 00:04:40,585 - (clatters) - Ooh. 105 00:04:40,668 --> 00:04:42,294 - All right, I'm in. - (clattering) 106 00:04:42,377 --> 00:04:45,002 Why weren't you at the fundraiser the other night? 107 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,751 - For the prison art collectors? - What, what, what fundraiser? 108 00:04:47,834 --> 00:04:49,626 For the prisoners who draw art. 109 00:04:49,709 --> 00:04:51,667 I sent you the invitation. Why weren't you there? 110 00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:53,376 - I never got the invite. - We sent it. 111 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,918 Never got it. Must have got lost in the mail. 112 00:04:56,001 --> 00:04:58,334 Aah, boy. I don't trust the mail anymore. I swear I don't. 113 00:04:58,417 --> 00:05:00,000 That stinks. I would have gone to that. 114 00:05:00,083 --> 00:05:01,417 - You would have enjoyed it. Leon: - Wow. 115 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,250 Andy: All right, next card is a ten of spades. 116 00:05:04,334 --> 00:05:06,458 - (sputters) I'm out. I fold. Andy: - Okay, he's out. Go ahead. 117 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,874 Andy: You're out. You check. 118 00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:09,166 Richard: - I fold. - Fold. 119 00:05:09,249 --> 00:05:10,499 - Really? - I just wanna give you-- Yeah. 120 00:05:10,582 --> 00:05:11,582 I wanna give you a heads up. 121 00:05:11,665 --> 00:05:13,249 Susie's birthday is in about a week. 122 00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:14,831 Why are you giving me a heads up? 123 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,706 - Uh, she told me to tell you. - (laughing) 124 00:05:17,789 --> 00:05:20,332 - Get the hell out of here. She told you to tell me? - Yeah. Yeah. 125 00:05:20,415 --> 00:05:21,915 As a matter of fact, she wants a camera. 126 00:05:21,998 --> 00:05:24,331 She's shameless, this woman. She's shameless. 127 00:05:24,414 --> 00:05:25,955 - It's unbelievable. - Wow. 128 00:05:26,039 --> 00:05:27,830 You don't get to pick your gift, okay? 129 00:05:27,914 --> 00:05:30,331 - I'm not a Sears catalog. - Just lettin' you know. Just lettin' you know. 130 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,871 Anyway, I already got her something. It's gonna be a nice surprise. 131 00:05:32,954 --> 00:05:34,371 - Really? Larry: - Yeah. 132 00:05:34,455 --> 00:05:36,038 All right, nine is the last card. 133 00:05:36,121 --> 00:05:37,205 You got the bet. 134 00:05:37,288 --> 00:05:39,038 Go ahead. You guys are out. Go ahead. 135 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,620 I just want you to know before you bet, I have a pair of aces. 136 00:05:41,703 --> 00:05:44,454 Okay. Twenty bucks, aces. 137 00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:47,870 I have a pair of aces. I call. What do you have? 138 00:05:47,953 --> 00:05:52,244 Larry: - Okay. I got three nines. - (all groaning) 139 00:05:52,328 --> 00:05:54,369 - Ooh! Shit! Andy: - That's unbelievable. 140 00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:55,619 - Huh? Leon: - Ate your ass for dinner. 141 00:05:55,702 --> 00:05:57,036 On the river, you get a nine. 142 00:05:57,119 --> 00:05:58,076 Richard: Cincinnati Kid. 143 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,618 You are the luckiest guy around. 144 00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:01,951 - Honest to God. - Yeah, yeah, luckiest guy around. 145 00:06:02,035 --> 00:06:04,493 I went to the doctor this week, and, I, uh... 146 00:06:04,910 --> 00:06:06,950 She found something, and... 147 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:10,159 - She's testing for, you know, cancer, so... Jeff: - Wow. 148 00:06:10,242 --> 00:06:12,075 - I'll find out in a few days. - Really? 149 00:06:12,159 --> 00:06:14,159 - Yeah. I'm sure it's nothing, you know. Jeff: - You're kidding me. 150 00:06:14,242 --> 00:06:15,741 Leon: Shit, Larry. God damn. 151 00:06:15,824 --> 00:06:16,741 You're up. 152 00:06:16,824 --> 00:06:19,200 Well, I just want to let you know, 153 00:06:19,283 --> 00:06:20,450 lettin' you know, 154 00:06:20,532 --> 00:06:22,616 - if you do have cancer... - Mm. 155 00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,240 ...I can't be your friend anymore. 156 00:06:24,324 --> 00:06:26,865 I-I'm not a cancer friend. I can't do the cancer friend. 157 00:06:26,948 --> 00:06:28,823 - That's not me. It's too much. Too much. - Mm. Yeah. 158 00:06:28,907 --> 00:06:31,073 You know, I gotta agree with Jeff. 159 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:34,448 If you get cancer, I'll never speak to you again. 160 00:06:34,530 --> 00:06:36,406 Andy: - Wow. - I get that. Yeah. 161 00:06:36,489 --> 00:06:38,614 When I found out my daddy had cancer, 162 00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:40,489 I never spoke to that man again. 163 00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:42,696 - I even stopped taking his calls. - Wow. Really? 164 00:06:42,779 --> 00:06:44,155 Swat: - Yep. - Did he die? 165 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,779 I don't know. 166 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:46,946 - Mm. - Whoa. 167 00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:48,405 Leon: That's fuckin' deep, man. 168 00:06:48,488 --> 00:06:50,737 All right, I'll tell you what. I have a proposal. 169 00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:53,237 Let's make a little deal here, okay? 170 00:06:53,321 --> 00:06:56,112 A no-cancer friend reciprocity pact. 171 00:06:56,196 --> 00:06:58,362 If anyone gets it, we all stop being friends with you, 172 00:06:58,446 --> 00:06:59,611 and vice versa. 173 00:06:59,694 --> 00:07:02,069 - There you go! - Very gracious of you! 174 00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:03,527 (chattering) 175 00:07:03,611 --> 00:07:06,111 Don't fuck up. Don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you. 176 00:07:06,195 --> 00:07:07,902 - All right. - Leon, your deal. Come on, let's play poker. 177 00:07:07,985 --> 00:07:09,693 Leon: - Let's go, baby. Jeff: - Okay. 178 00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:17,609 Sorry I'm late. 179 00:07:17,692 --> 00:07:19,942 - It's okay. - You know what? 180 00:07:20,026 --> 00:07:22,484 I detest every single person in a car. 181 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,609 - There are a lot of stupid drivers, yeah. - Yeah. 182 00:07:24,692 --> 00:07:26,524 How are you feeling? 183 00:07:26,608 --> 00:07:28,150 I'm better. 184 00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:30,192 - I'm a lot better. - I'm really sorry about 185 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,108 that talc incident. 186 00:07:32,192 --> 00:07:34,191 I say next time, just... 187 00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:36,648 do the shower, yeah. 188 00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:39,357 Yeah. Oh, geez, look at, look at this thing. 189 00:07:39,441 --> 00:07:40,815 - Huh? - Yeah, I know, it's-- 190 00:07:40,899 --> 00:07:43,481 Jesus, look, look, what-- I, I don't understand it. 191 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,273 - Another wobbly table. - I know. 192 00:07:45,356 --> 00:07:46,939 They're all over. It's an epidemic. 193 00:07:47,023 --> 00:07:50,356 I'm gonna end the wobbly table epidemic, in my coffee house. 194 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,314 - Mm. - Ours are gonna be cemented in... 195 00:07:53,397 --> 00:07:55,189 - They're gonna be cemented in the ground. - Mm-hmm. 196 00:07:55,272 --> 00:07:57,480 Ah. You know what? I think I'll do a little, uh, 197 00:07:57,563 --> 00:07:59,563 a little side-sitting. 198 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,229 - A side-sit? - Yeah. A side-sit. 199 00:08:02,313 --> 00:08:03,729 I don't think that's a good idea. 200 00:08:03,812 --> 00:08:07,229 - Why? What's the big deal? - Well, it's, uh, very intimate. 201 00:08:07,313 --> 00:08:10,312 I-- This is too far to talk to somebody. 202 00:08:10,395 --> 00:08:12,353 It feels a little close. 203 00:08:12,437 --> 00:08:14,312 - I don't think so. - Okay. 204 00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:15,478 Oh. 205 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,853 - There you go. - Thank you. 206 00:08:16,936 --> 00:08:20,685 Larry: It's my mailman. His name's Lionel. 207 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,019 Hey. 208 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,643 Cheryl: - Lionel? Larry: - Yeah. 209 00:08:23,727 --> 00:08:25,352 - Take care. Have a good day. Hostess: - Thank you. You too. 210 00:08:25,436 --> 00:08:29,059 Yeah. Something about that guy gives me the creeps. 211 00:08:29,143 --> 00:08:31,185 - Yeah. - Um... 212 00:08:31,268 --> 00:08:35,725 - How are you doing? - Good. Can I introduce you to my friend, the elephant? 213 00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:38,267 - (chuckles) - Huh? He's a big boy. 214 00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:41,267 - Keeps growing. - Yes, yes. 215 00:08:41,766 --> 00:08:43,808 I mean, how do you feel about it? 216 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:47,224 Well, I feel the same as I've always felt. 217 00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,974 I think we should... I think we should be together. 218 00:08:51,515 --> 00:08:53,223 Yeah, I don't... 219 00:08:53,307 --> 00:08:55,432 I don't think that's a good idea. 220 00:08:57,432 --> 00:08:59,265 I think we need to... 221 00:09:00,182 --> 00:09:02,513 end it, call it off. 222 00:09:02,597 --> 00:09:05,097 I think we should be apart. 223 00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:09,680 You know, I... (clears throat) 224 00:09:09,763 --> 00:09:11,054 I was at the doctor, 225 00:09:11,138 --> 00:09:13,430 and I'm waiting to get some... 226 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,263 test results back. 227 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,388 Oh. What kind of tests? 228 00:09:17,471 --> 00:09:19,970 Could be... 229 00:09:20,595 --> 00:09:21,887 cancer? 230 00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,970 It's just a test, right? 231 00:09:24,053 --> 00:09:25,053 - Yeah. - Yeah. 232 00:09:25,137 --> 00:09:26,220 It's a test, but... 233 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,094 - it's a test for cancer. - Right. 234 00:09:28,178 --> 00:09:30,386 I mean, a lot of people get tested. 235 00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:32,052 Not for cancer. 236 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,386 - Yeah, a lot of people get tested for cancer. - No, this is cancer. 237 00:09:34,469 --> 00:09:36,468 - It's a cancer test. - I know a lot of people-- 238 00:09:36,551 --> 00:09:38,343 No, this is cancer. 239 00:09:38,427 --> 00:09:41,093 - Um... - Serious, serious test. 240 00:09:41,593 --> 00:09:43,926 - Could you excuse us for a sec? - Sure. 241 00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:46,758 Well, I hope your tests come back negative, 242 00:09:46,842 --> 00:09:49,176 but we're not gonna get back together. 243 00:09:49,842 --> 00:09:54,091 Hypothetically, suppose she told me I had... 244 00:09:54,175 --> 00:09:55,841 two years. 245 00:09:55,924 --> 00:09:58,507 Would that alter your thinking about us at all? 246 00:09:58,591 --> 00:10:02,882 - You mean, get together for two years until you died? - Yeah. Yeah. 247 00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:04,424 I think you'd have a pretty good time. 248 00:10:04,506 --> 00:10:06,756 - Do you? Yeah. - Yeah, I'd be complaining a little bit. 249 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,798 But I can get a nurse and complain to the nurse 250 00:10:08,882 --> 00:10:10,673 and leave you out of that part. 251 00:10:10,756 --> 00:10:14,381 Well, let's see what the tests... say. 252 00:10:14,922 --> 00:10:16,755 You know, we could do a lot of traveling. 253 00:10:16,839 --> 00:10:18,131 You don't like to travel. 254 00:10:18,214 --> 00:10:20,588 Would you mind if I brought the nurse along? 255 00:10:20,671 --> 00:10:23,713 Okay. I think we're good the way we are. 256 00:10:26,213 --> 00:10:27,504 Yeah. 257 00:10:30,545 --> 00:10:32,670 All right. (sighs) 258 00:10:34,254 --> 00:10:37,004 - What are you gonna get? - I don't give a fuck. 259 00:10:38,044 --> 00:10:39,669 Milos: Okay, Mr. Greene. 260 00:10:39,752 --> 00:10:42,794 - Almost finished. Just need to pick up two-- Larry: - Hey, Milos! 261 00:10:42,878 --> 00:10:45,170 - (Milos laughs) - How ya doing? 262 00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:48,127 - Good. How are you? - Good. You coming over to the coffee store later? 263 00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:50,918 - Of course. I'll be there. I got to finish up. See you. - Beautiful. Thank you. 264 00:10:51,002 --> 00:10:54,294 - Milos, he's gonna be doing some work in the coffee place. - Yeah, he's fantastic. 265 00:10:54,377 --> 00:10:55,750 Wh-what's that? 266 00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,792 It's a little somethin' for your wife. 267 00:10:57,876 --> 00:11:00,168 A birthday present. Huh? 268 00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:02,667 So how'd it go with Cheryl? 269 00:11:03,042 --> 00:11:04,541 Not gonna happen. 270 00:11:04,624 --> 00:11:06,292 - No! - Yeah. 271 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,833 - I'm sorry, man. - Well, you know, it's a long shot, anyway. 272 00:11:08,916 --> 00:11:11,417 - Did you think it would happen? - No, I knew it was a long shot, 273 00:11:11,499 --> 00:11:13,166 but what are, you know, what are you gonna do? 274 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:16,332 I'll tell you what you do. You're gonna get back out there. 275 00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:18,332 You can't date now. You can't-- 276 00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,207 How do you even make a move in this climate? 277 00:11:20,291 --> 00:11:24,664 Plus, I got that sexual harassment thing from the, uh, assistant. 278 00:11:24,747 --> 00:11:27,165 And I'm old and bald. 279 00:11:27,248 --> 00:11:28,497 - Old and bald. - Yeah. 280 00:11:28,581 --> 00:11:30,414 - That means nothing. - Please. Are you kidding? 281 00:11:30,496 --> 00:11:33,955 - You're rich! - You think rich beats old and bald? 282 00:11:34,038 --> 00:11:37,621 You could have mutton chops and wear a, a cartoon tie 283 00:11:37,705 --> 00:11:39,704 of, uh, Felix the Cat. 284 00:11:39,787 --> 00:11:41,246 Some old-timey cartoon. 285 00:11:41,329 --> 00:11:43,579 (laughing) You can, you can paint them blue, 286 00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,329 and wear an Abe Lincoln hat. You'll be fine. 287 00:11:46,454 --> 00:11:47,787 - Really? - Trust me. Yeah. 288 00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:49,619 Okay. I'm gonna get back out there. 289 00:11:49,703 --> 00:11:50,995 I gotta ask you something. 290 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,036 The other night at poker, 291 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,203 that invitation, it, it didn't get lost. 292 00:11:55,287 --> 00:11:57,244 - No, of course not. - You made that whole thing up. 293 00:11:57,327 --> 00:11:59,577 - Yeah. Totally made it up. - Oh, you're good. 294 00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:01,035 Blame it on the mailman. 295 00:12:01,119 --> 00:12:02,660 - Blame it on the mailman. - Yeah. 296 00:12:02,743 --> 00:12:04,618 Susie: - Jeffrey! - Oh... 297 00:12:04,702 --> 00:12:06,368 - Oh, hi, Lar. - Oh, hello. 298 00:12:06,451 --> 00:12:08,534 - I didn't know you were here. Larry: - I am here. 299 00:12:08,617 --> 00:12:10,993 - Yeah? What? - Stand right there. 300 00:12:11,076 --> 00:12:12,534 Susie: - Okay. - Don't move. 301 00:12:12,617 --> 00:12:14,118 What? What? What? 302 00:12:14,491 --> 00:12:17,533 - What is that? - What is it? It's for you! 303 00:12:17,616 --> 00:12:20,367 - For your birthday! - You've never gotten me a birthday gift. 304 00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:21,616 I did this year! 305 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,615 Yeah, what is it? What is it? 306 00:12:24,866 --> 00:12:27,241 Susie: Oh, my God. Larry! 307 00:12:27,324 --> 00:12:29,283 - Oh, my God! - Huh? You love it? 308 00:12:29,366 --> 00:12:31,241 Larry: I had it commissioned. A great artist. 309 00:12:31,324 --> 00:12:32,614 Gave me a big discount. 310 00:12:32,698 --> 00:12:35,115 - You had this made for me? - Yeah. 311 00:12:35,198 --> 00:12:38,573 - From you, of all people, 'cause you're not a giver. - No. 312 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:40,947 Susie: - Oh, my God. - (mouthing words) 313 00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:43,947 It's absolutely magnificent. 314 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,989 It's magnificent. It's a work of art. 315 00:12:47,072 --> 00:12:48,822 It's not just 'cause it's me. 316 00:12:48,905 --> 00:12:50,737 (stammers) All is forgiven. 317 00:12:50,821 --> 00:12:52,405 Everything you've ever done, 318 00:12:52,487 --> 00:12:53,612 every horrible thing 319 00:12:53,696 --> 00:12:55,571 you've done to me is forgiven for this. 320 00:12:55,654 --> 00:12:57,155 What are you talking about? What have I done? 321 00:12:57,238 --> 00:12:59,237 - Oh, my God. Jeff, what... - What are you forgiving? 322 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,528 Oh, wait a minute. I gotta go talk to this fuckin' Milos. 323 00:13:02,611 --> 00:13:06,362 Screwing up my deck. Hey, Milos! Milos! 324 00:13:06,445 --> 00:13:07,861 What were you thinking? 325 00:13:07,944 --> 00:13:10,485 I thought I told you a camera, a fucking camera. 326 00:13:10,569 --> 00:13:12,361 Susie: - This is mahogany cream. - You fucked me. 327 00:13:12,444 --> 00:13:14,569 - What? - It's shit. Do you understand what I'm saying? 328 00:13:14,652 --> 00:13:18,152 Milo: - I wrote it down. Mahogany cream. - Yes! This is mahogany cream! 329 00:13:18,235 --> 00:13:20,818 - This is not mahogany cream! - This is mahogany cream. 330 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,443 I'm not paying for this piece of shit crap! 331 00:13:23,526 --> 00:13:26,276 You redo it, or you don't get paid. 332 00:13:26,359 --> 00:13:28,359 It's bullshit! 333 00:13:30,483 --> 00:13:33,358 - That poor bastard never had a chance. - No. 334 00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:43,065 - Mr. David? - Yeah? 335 00:13:43,149 --> 00:13:45,149 I've heard that you're going around telling people 336 00:13:45,232 --> 00:13:46,940 that I've lost their invitations? 337 00:13:47,023 --> 00:13:48,606 Wh-where'd you get that from? 338 00:13:48,690 --> 00:13:50,440 Andy and Cassie David told me. 339 00:13:50,522 --> 00:13:52,480 Can I tell you a little story? 340 00:13:52,564 --> 00:13:54,480 I got invited to some kind of fundraiser, 341 00:13:54,564 --> 00:13:57,605 prison art something. I-- you know, I'm not gonna... 342 00:13:58,064 --> 00:14:00,521 I'm not gonna do that. So I said... 343 00:14:00,604 --> 00:14:04,397 I never got the invitation. It got lost in the mail. 344 00:14:05,313 --> 00:14:06,729 - Lost in the mail. - Yeah. 345 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,396 So, I'm the mail. 346 00:14:08,478 --> 00:14:11,229 - Yes. In this particular case-- - I'm the guy that is delivering the mail, 347 00:14:11,312 --> 00:14:13,354 so that is a stain on an otherwise perfect record. 348 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:15,146 I've never lost a piece of mail. 349 00:14:15,895 --> 00:14:19,561 - Come on. All right. - Listen, I just need you to please... 350 00:14:19,644 --> 00:14:21,644 go tell Andy and Cassie the truth about this. 351 00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:24,270 I'll consider it. Look, can I give you a little tip? 352 00:14:24,353 --> 00:14:26,060 If you're gonna confront somebody 353 00:14:26,144 --> 00:14:28,227 and ask them to do something like this, 354 00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:30,476 it's better to do it with pants on. 355 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:31,810 The shorts... 356 00:14:31,893 --> 00:14:34,144 This is the required uniform for a postman. 357 00:14:35,101 --> 00:14:36,351 - Really? - Yeah. 358 00:14:36,434 --> 00:14:37,851 And the socks, too? 359 00:14:37,934 --> 00:14:39,892 - That's part of it? The black socks? - Right. 360 00:14:39,976 --> 00:14:42,393 Yes. Post Office issued socks. Yes. 361 00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:43,683 They issue socks? 362 00:14:43,766 --> 00:14:45,267 - Yeah. - How many pairs? 363 00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:47,100 What does that have to do with this? 364 00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:48,808 I'm just curious how often you have to wash those socks. 365 00:14:48,891 --> 00:14:51,350 They give you five or six pairs, and you rotate them. Okay? 366 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,432 - How many pairs of shorts do they give you? - Listen. 367 00:14:53,515 --> 00:14:55,266 If you don't want to go to something, don't go, 368 00:14:55,349 --> 00:14:57,557 but don't hide behind the US Postal Service. 369 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,974 It's hard to take a person seriously wearing shorts. 370 00:15:00,057 --> 00:15:02,223 I'm at work, doing work. This is my work uniform. 371 00:15:02,306 --> 00:15:04,098 - I'm confronting you. - I'm giving you, I'm giving you-- 372 00:15:04,181 --> 00:15:06,140 (phone chiming) Excuse me one second. I was giving you a good tip. 373 00:15:06,223 --> 00:15:07,514 - Good advice. - Take the call. 374 00:15:07,597 --> 00:15:09,513 - I'm givin' you good advice. - Just take the call. 375 00:15:09,596 --> 00:15:10,847 Hello? 376 00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:12,680 - Larry David? Larry (over phone): - Yes? 377 00:15:12,763 --> 00:15:13,847 It's Dr. Bahn. 378 00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:15,638 The test results came back. 379 00:15:15,721 --> 00:15:17,555 Aah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 380 00:15:17,638 --> 00:15:20,138 Dr. Bahn (over phone): As you know, we did a fine-needle biopsy, 381 00:15:20,221 --> 00:15:21,929 - on the mass. - Oh, my God. This is bad. 382 00:15:22,012 --> 00:15:24,096 Dr. Bahn: - And an MRI. - It's bad. It's bad. What? 383 00:15:24,179 --> 00:15:27,345 It's just a benign cyst, not cancerous. 384 00:15:27,428 --> 00:15:30,428 - You're clean as a whistle. - Ah! Ha-ha! 385 00:15:30,511 --> 00:15:32,719 Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha! 386 00:15:32,803 --> 00:15:35,220 - Oh, thank you. Thank you! Dr. Bahn: - You're welcome. 387 00:15:35,303 --> 00:15:38,344 Ah! Negative! Negative! 388 00:15:38,844 --> 00:15:40,844 - Ah! - Just... okay? 389 00:15:40,927 --> 00:15:42,677 - Fine. The matter at hand-- - I'll, I'll talk to 'em. 390 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,135 - Please tell Andy and Cassie... - I'll talk to 'em. I'll talk to 'em. 391 00:15:45,218 --> 00:15:47,135 Yes. 392 00:15:47,218 --> 00:15:49,509 Rita: Mr. Swindell will be here in five minutes. 393 00:15:49,592 --> 00:15:51,634 - Make yourself comfortable. - Okay. 394 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:52,801 All right. 395 00:16:09,632 --> 00:16:11,965 (toilet flushing) 396 00:16:38,045 --> 00:16:40,212 - Okay. Hey, Larry. Larry: - Oh, hey! 397 00:16:40,295 --> 00:16:42,711 - Sorry to keep you waiting. - Oh, no, no. Don't be silly. 398 00:16:42,795 --> 00:16:44,295 All's good? You've been well? 399 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:48,502 Funny you should mention it, 'cause I had a bit of a scare 400 00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:51,086 at the doctor, I just got the results back, 401 00:16:51,169 --> 00:16:53,836 and, uh... I'm good. 402 00:16:53,919 --> 00:16:55,584 Oh, that's great. You must be relieved. 403 00:16:55,668 --> 00:16:58,960 Well, I'm relieved, except it's been two days since I found out, 404 00:16:59,043 --> 00:17:02,626 and not one of my friends has inquired 405 00:17:02,709 --> 00:17:05,209 as to how the test turned out, not one. 406 00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:07,959 - I see. - I'm gonna dump the whole bunch of 'em. 407 00:17:08,042 --> 00:17:10,542 - I'll get myself some new friends. - That's great news. 408 00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:14,166 - Maybe, uh, maybe we could strike up a friendship. - I'm relieved for you. 409 00:17:15,166 --> 00:17:17,333 I, I have a busy life, and, uh... 410 00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:19,749 but, uh, I am, I am really relieved 411 00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:21,290 - that you got the news that you got. - Mm, thank you. 412 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,832 And I have some other good news for you, too. 413 00:17:23,915 --> 00:17:26,665 Which is that Ms. Huff's team gave me a call, 414 00:17:26,748 --> 00:17:29,290 and she would like to meet with you. 415 00:17:29,374 --> 00:17:30,789 (gasps) Face-to-face, 416 00:17:30,872 --> 00:17:32,831 just the two of you alone in a public place, of course. 417 00:17:32,914 --> 00:17:34,123 Alice wants to meet? 418 00:17:34,206 --> 00:17:36,164 The fact that she is reaching out is great. 419 00:17:36,248 --> 00:17:38,621 That's fantastic. Maybe she's come to her senses. 420 00:17:38,704 --> 00:17:40,871 If you just give her the chance to air 421 00:17:40,955 --> 00:17:42,955 whatever she wants to air, listen to her, and maybe... 422 00:17:43,038 --> 00:17:45,163 Yeah, sure, yeah. I'll listen. I'll-- we'll air. Yeah, listen and air. 423 00:17:45,247 --> 00:17:47,080 Roger: Then the whole thing could go away. 424 00:17:47,162 --> 00:17:49,745 - That's good news. Look at you. The bearer of good tidings. - Uh, sorry. 425 00:17:49,829 --> 00:17:52,578 Hold on one second. Just to get a tissue. 426 00:18:02,452 --> 00:18:04,286 What's up? 427 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,660 Problem? 428 00:18:11,743 --> 00:18:13,077 Did you use my bathroom? 429 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,867 What? No. Absolutely not. 430 00:18:14,951 --> 00:18:17,118 Why would I use your bathroom? You told me not to. 431 00:18:17,201 --> 00:18:18,867 I mean, you did ask to use it. 432 00:18:18,951 --> 00:18:21,867 Yes, I did, but you were quite emphatic about it. 433 00:18:21,951 --> 00:18:24,033 And, uh, you know, well, what am I gonna do? 434 00:18:24,117 --> 00:18:27,242 - That's, that's the rule. - Your interest was not casual. 435 00:18:27,325 --> 00:18:29,325 I'm telling you the truth. 436 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,782 - It's your old pal. - Mr. David. 437 00:18:38,865 --> 00:18:42,864 Beautiful view here. How long did it take you to take it for granted? 438 00:18:42,948 --> 00:18:45,240 Um... not long, I guess. 439 00:18:45,323 --> 00:18:47,281 It would take me about a day, maybe less, 440 00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:48,738 maybe a half an hour. 441 00:18:48,822 --> 00:18:50,822 And I would never look out the window again 442 00:18:50,905 --> 00:18:53,072 and go, "Ooh, look at that view." 443 00:18:53,155 --> 00:18:55,905 Anyway, here for some validation. 444 00:18:55,988 --> 00:18:57,570 Can I ask you something? 445 00:18:57,654 --> 00:19:00,321 Swindell-- have you ever used his bathroom? 446 00:19:00,654 --> 00:19:03,779 (quietly): - I have. - What? 447 00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:07,070 Why fly public when you can fly private, am I right? 448 00:19:07,153 --> 00:19:09,153 I mean, the public toilets, forget it. 449 00:19:09,237 --> 00:19:10,486 - Don't get me started. - You can't do it. 450 00:19:10,569 --> 00:19:12,237 Have you been in a woman's restroom? 451 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,486 Do you know how vile women can be? 452 00:19:14,569 --> 00:19:17,527 Women? Oh, that's nothing compared to a men's room, nothing. 453 00:19:17,610 --> 00:19:19,568 You guys get to stand up. We have to sit down. 454 00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:22,069 Hey, you know what? I'll take you out for a night on the town. 455 00:19:22,152 --> 00:19:23,526 We'll go toilet-hopping. 456 00:19:23,609 --> 00:19:25,442 We'll, we'll look at men's rooms and ladies' rooms, 457 00:19:25,526 --> 00:19:28,026 and we'll make a little comparison. Would you like to do that? 458 00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:30,859 - As in a date? - Yes, yes, a date. 459 00:19:30,943 --> 00:19:34,150 I know this is something you've probably been dreaming about most of your life. 460 00:19:34,234 --> 00:19:37,150 "Oh, dear God, please let me meet an old bald man, 461 00:19:37,234 --> 00:19:38,733 who will take me toilet-hopping, 462 00:19:38,817 --> 00:19:41,565 from toilet to toilet, throughout the town. 463 00:19:41,649 --> 00:19:44,899 Please, God. Please make that happen." 464 00:19:45,941 --> 00:19:47,274 I'm game. 465 00:19:48,024 --> 00:19:50,564 I, I, I don't even know what to say. I'm shocked. 466 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,606 - Validation? - Yes. And your name is? 467 00:19:53,689 --> 00:19:54,898 My name is Rita. 468 00:19:54,981 --> 00:19:57,273 Rita. You'll be hearing from me. 469 00:19:57,357 --> 00:19:59,688 You lucky gal! 470 00:20:04,688 --> 00:20:06,897 What? What? 471 00:20:07,396 --> 00:20:09,021 Larry? 472 00:20:09,521 --> 00:20:11,355 - Hey. - What's in there? 473 00:20:12,687 --> 00:20:15,021 Oh, it's a, uh... coffee place. 474 00:20:15,105 --> 00:20:17,229 I'm opening up a spite store to take him out of business. 475 00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:20,478 I don't know what a spite store is, and I don't really care. 476 00:20:20,561 --> 00:20:23,770 - I want to talk to you about something. - Sure. 477 00:20:23,853 --> 00:20:26,644 Somebody told me you were side-sitting Cheryl. 478 00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:30,228 - Who told you that? - The mailman. He said he was in a restaurant 479 00:20:30,311 --> 00:20:31,685 and saw you side-sitting. 480 00:20:31,769 --> 00:20:34,102 You're making too much about a side-sit. 481 00:20:34,185 --> 00:20:35,601 I side-sit with everybody. 482 00:20:35,684 --> 00:20:37,434 I side-sit with my doctor, I side-sit with my therapist. 483 00:20:37,518 --> 00:20:39,310 I've never seen you side-sit anybody. 484 00:20:39,393 --> 00:20:42,934 If you ever see me sitting, you'll see me side-sitting. 485 00:20:46,101 --> 00:20:49,101 (phone chiming) 486 00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:51,432 Hello? 487 00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:54,225 What were you thinkin' gettin' Susie that painting? 488 00:20:54,308 --> 00:20:56,350 Aah, I'm-I'm so sorry. 489 00:20:56,432 --> 00:20:58,808 It stares at me! It's just there! 490 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,182 I go for a snack, it's staring at me! 491 00:21:01,265 --> 00:21:03,182 I wish there was somethin' I could do. 492 00:21:03,265 --> 00:21:04,723 Well, I told you to get her a camera! 493 00:21:04,807 --> 00:21:06,265 Why couldn't you get her a camera?! 494 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,265 I should have given her the camera. 495 00:21:08,349 --> 00:21:09,680 Jeff (over phone): Next time get her a camera! 496 00:21:09,764 --> 00:21:11,014 Believe me, there won't be a next time! 497 00:21:11,098 --> 00:21:12,847 Good! Don't get her anything again! 498 00:21:12,931 --> 00:21:14,806 I will never give anyone a gift again. What do you think about that? 499 00:21:14,889 --> 00:21:16,555 Jeff: I think it's the best idea you've had all day! 500 00:21:16,639 --> 00:21:18,971 - I'm done with presents! - My birthday's coming up in a month! 501 00:21:19,055 --> 00:21:20,513 - What are you gettin' me?! - Nothin'! 502 00:21:20,596 --> 00:21:22,429 Jeff: - Ha! Thank you! - You're welcome! 503 00:21:22,513 --> 00:21:23,388 Aah! 504 00:21:27,595 --> 00:21:30,929 - I like what you did with this apartment. - Thank you. 505 00:21:32,595 --> 00:21:34,845 Larry: - You play the piano? Rita: - I don't. No. 506 00:21:34,928 --> 00:21:36,677 I borrowed it. 507 00:21:37,928 --> 00:21:40,136 You don't play, and you borrowed a piano? 508 00:21:40,220 --> 00:21:42,178 It was a joke. I didn't borrow the piano. 509 00:21:42,552 --> 00:21:44,718 Well, that's quite a, uh... 510 00:21:44,802 --> 00:21:46,676 That's quite an attempt at a joke. 511 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,802 Thank you. You could use it. 512 00:21:48,885 --> 00:21:50,135 That's okay. 513 00:21:50,551 --> 00:21:55,259 All right, well, we've come to that juncture in the evening where... 514 00:21:55,801 --> 00:22:00,009 a move of some kind is either... 515 00:22:00,801 --> 00:22:04,716 required or, uh... expected. 516 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,258 I agree. 517 00:22:06,342 --> 00:22:07,674 - You agree? - I do. 518 00:22:07,758 --> 00:22:10,007 - That's good. That's good. Now... - That's good. 519 00:22:10,091 --> 00:22:11,882 ...given the current climate, 520 00:22:11,965 --> 00:22:15,091 I would like to ask you a series of questions 521 00:22:15,174 --> 00:22:18,091 to determine how comfortable you are 522 00:22:18,174 --> 00:22:20,964 with physical contact as it progresses. 523 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:22,547 All right. That sounds fair. 524 00:22:22,631 --> 00:22:26,631 I'd like to begin by taking my right hand 525 00:22:26,714 --> 00:22:29,005 and place it on your right shoulder. 526 00:22:29,505 --> 00:22:32,255 - Would that be acceptable? - That is acceptable. Yes. 527 00:22:32,339 --> 00:22:34,297 - Ah. Okay. - Okay. 528 00:22:36,796 --> 00:22:40,004 - Now I'd like to take this left hand of mine... - Yes. 529 00:22:40,088 --> 00:22:42,462 ...and place it under your rib cage, 530 00:22:42,545 --> 00:22:44,213 fairly close to the right breast, 531 00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:45,753 but keeping a safe distance. 532 00:22:45,836 --> 00:22:47,544 That is acceptable. 533 00:22:49,212 --> 00:22:50,920 - There we go. - That's very nice. 534 00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:53,586 Ah! By the way, throughout this process, 535 00:22:53,669 --> 00:22:55,835 I would encourage any feedback. 536 00:22:55,919 --> 00:22:59,086 - Well, and I would expect the same from you. - Oh. 537 00:22:59,627 --> 00:23:03,626 How would you feel about a little grazing of the lips? 538 00:23:03,709 --> 00:23:05,709 I think I would feel very good about that. 539 00:23:05,793 --> 00:23:08,501 Well, then a grazing you shall have. 540 00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:12,541 Aha. 541 00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:14,209 And now... 542 00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:15,750 I would like to... 543 00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:18,084 graze again, but this time, 544 00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:20,999 with some intertwining of the tongue. 545 00:23:21,749 --> 00:23:24,374 - We could do that. - Excellent! 546 00:23:28,915 --> 00:23:30,207 Hmm. 547 00:23:30,290 --> 00:23:32,956 Well, now I think we have to take a little break. 548 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,790 With your permission, of course, I would like to take a video 549 00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:39,497 in order to document the evening. 550 00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:42,663 You know, just in case there are any discrepancies 551 00:23:42,747 --> 00:23:45,580 of the he-said, she-said variety. 552 00:23:45,663 --> 00:23:47,871 - Would you be able to forward that to me? - Of course. 553 00:23:47,954 --> 00:23:49,913 I will forward it to you and cc, 554 00:23:49,996 --> 00:23:51,996 or bcc to anyone you like. 555 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,163 Fantastic. 556 00:23:53,246 --> 00:23:55,703 - (phone beeps) - Begin session. 557 00:23:56,578 --> 00:23:58,745 - This is Rita. - Hi. 558 00:23:58,828 --> 00:24:01,120 Um, Rita, you're here under your own volition? 559 00:24:01,204 --> 00:24:04,328 - I am. Yes. - Nobody forced you here. Isn't that correct? 560 00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:05,994 That is correct. Nobody forced me. 561 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:08,494 - You're not here under duress of any kind? - No. 562 00:24:08,577 --> 00:24:11,494 - You're kind of enjoying yourself, are you not? - I am. 563 00:24:11,577 --> 00:24:13,451 Nothing, uh, untoward has happened. 564 00:24:13,534 --> 00:24:15,160 Nothing's happened without your permission. 565 00:24:15,243 --> 00:24:16,910 - Absolutely not. - Thus far. 566 00:24:16,993 --> 00:24:18,576 Okay. 567 00:24:18,659 --> 00:24:20,035 - Let's continue. - Let's. 568 00:24:20,118 --> 00:24:23,742 I'm placing my right hand back on her right shoulder, 569 00:24:23,825 --> 00:24:26,492 - with her permission, of course. - Yes. 570 00:24:26,575 --> 00:24:30,283 And now, what I'd like to do is take this left hand, 571 00:24:30,366 --> 00:24:32,325 which I've introduced to you earlier, 572 00:24:32,407 --> 00:24:34,532 I'm going to place it on your inner thigh, 573 00:24:34,616 --> 00:24:37,866 and slowly inch my way up, 574 00:24:37,949 --> 00:24:41,032 in a crab-like fashion, 575 00:24:41,115 --> 00:24:43,406 Well, seeing as it is our first date, Larry, 576 00:24:43,490 --> 00:24:46,324 I think that I'm going to have to say no to that. 577 00:24:46,948 --> 00:24:49,239 - I'm perfectly okay with that. - Okay. 578 00:24:49,323 --> 00:24:51,864 And what if I took this same left hand, 579 00:24:51,947 --> 00:24:53,489 and extended it laterally, 580 00:24:53,572 --> 00:24:55,364 and somehow wind up 581 00:24:55,447 --> 00:24:57,363 on that right breast, 582 00:24:57,446 --> 00:25:01,113 and perhaps, uh, gave it a little, uh, squeeze. 583 00:25:01,197 --> 00:25:04,280 Uh, that would be the worst thing in the world? 584 00:25:04,654 --> 00:25:06,612 I'm gonna have to say no again. 585 00:25:06,695 --> 00:25:08,112 Okay. Another no. 586 00:25:08,196 --> 00:25:11,071 Hand's away. Look at the hand. All gone. 587 00:25:11,154 --> 00:25:12,862 Well. (sighs) 588 00:25:13,653 --> 00:25:17,527 - It seems we've reached a bit of an impasse. - I think so. 589 00:25:19,111 --> 00:25:21,278 - End session. - (phone beeps) 590 00:25:31,692 --> 00:25:34,400 Well, I'd like to propose a toast 591 00:25:34,484 --> 00:25:35,901 to Andy and Cassie. 592 00:25:35,984 --> 00:25:37,734 - Welcome to the West Coast. - Hear! Hear! 593 00:25:37,817 --> 00:25:40,026 I'm sorry it took us so long to get you here. 594 00:25:40,109 --> 00:25:41,733 - But here you are. - Thank you so much. 595 00:25:41,816 --> 00:25:43,649 - Yes. - It's a beautiful home. 596 00:25:43,733 --> 00:25:45,733 - Yeah, well, you know I have a-- - And this is... 597 00:25:45,816 --> 00:25:47,275 This is quite an addition. 598 00:25:47,358 --> 00:25:48,941 Isn't it? Isn't that something? 599 00:25:49,024 --> 00:25:50,440 You know, if I tell you 600 00:25:50,523 --> 00:25:52,316 who got that for me, you're gonna be shocked. 601 00:25:52,398 --> 00:25:54,899 Larry David, the most thoughtful man 602 00:25:54,982 --> 00:25:57,357 I've ever met, had that commissioned. 603 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,356 Where do you find an artist like that? 604 00:25:59,439 --> 00:26:01,814 You'll find it. You look it up. 605 00:26:01,898 --> 00:26:04,689 You know what I love about it is... 606 00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:06,730 - the size. - The dimensions. 607 00:26:06,813 --> 00:26:08,022 - Yes. I know. - Oh, the dimensions. 608 00:26:08,105 --> 00:26:10,272 Anything smaller would have felt too small. 609 00:26:10,355 --> 00:26:11,938 Bigger would have felt ostentatious. 610 00:26:12,022 --> 00:26:13,605 Richard: It's not even that, Susie. 611 00:26:13,688 --> 00:26:16,395 Know what it is? I've never seen you with, I don't know, 612 00:26:16,479 --> 00:26:18,354 with such a joy for life 613 00:26:18,437 --> 00:26:20,313 - in that painting. - Yeah, they captured that in me, didn't they? 614 00:26:20,395 --> 00:26:22,271 - Absolutely. - It's something. 615 00:26:22,395 --> 00:26:24,145 Did you have to send him a picture 616 00:26:24,228 --> 00:26:25,895 and then he painted it from that? 617 00:26:26,603 --> 00:26:27,853 Yeah. 618 00:26:27,936 --> 00:26:30,020 Cassie: How long does it take once you get the artist-- 619 00:26:30,103 --> 00:26:31,936 I don't know. A couple of weeks. 620 00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:33,894 - Okay? Took a couple of weeks. - Okay. 621 00:26:33,977 --> 00:26:36,393 - Mm. - LD, what the hell's wrong with you? 622 00:26:38,102 --> 00:26:41,061 Three days now. I've gotten the results back from my cancer test. 623 00:26:41,144 --> 00:26:43,185 Not one of you bothered to call me and ask me 624 00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:45,351 if I got the results back. Not one. 625 00:26:45,434 --> 00:26:49,726 And by the way, I did, and I'm fine. Okay? 626 00:26:51,017 --> 00:26:54,975 - Skyler had this paper due for social studies. - It was on Cuba. 627 00:26:55,059 --> 00:26:56,850 We were, we're very immersed in it. 628 00:26:56,933 --> 00:26:59,183 - I'm sorry. You're right. - He's been working with her nonstop. 629 00:26:59,266 --> 00:27:02,141 And I, I, I honestly planned on it, 630 00:27:02,224 --> 00:27:04,766 but I, I, I planned on it. 631 00:27:04,849 --> 00:27:06,849 I ain't gonna lie, man. I fuckin' forgot. 632 00:27:06,932 --> 00:27:09,973 - My bad. - I already explained myself. All right? 633 00:27:10,057 --> 00:27:11,639 What kind of friends are you? 634 00:27:11,723 --> 00:27:13,514 Seriously! What kind of friends are you? 635 00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:15,348 - But you're fine, right? - Yeah, I'm fine! 636 00:27:15,431 --> 00:27:17,597 You know what? You can all go fuck yourself! 637 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:18,889 (gasps) Oh, shit! 638 00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:20,764 Richard: Holy Christ! 639 00:27:24,889 --> 00:27:28,596 You ruined my painting! You destroyed it! 640 00:27:30,096 --> 00:27:31,596 Jeff? 641 00:27:31,929 --> 00:27:34,470 What kind of piece of shit, 642 00:27:34,553 --> 00:27:36,762 motherfucker does something like that? 643 00:27:36,845 --> 00:27:39,095 Where the fuck do you get off? 644 00:27:39,179 --> 00:27:41,262 This was the prized possession 645 00:27:41,345 --> 00:27:44,385 - of this household. - I'm so sorry. 646 00:27:44,469 --> 00:27:46,136 - So... You know what? - What? 647 00:27:46,219 --> 00:27:47,844 I'm gonna replace that painting. 648 00:27:47,927 --> 00:27:50,178 I'm gonna give it to the artist, he's gonna fix it, 649 00:27:50,261 --> 00:27:51,801 it's gonna be better than ever. 650 00:27:51,885 --> 00:27:54,468 You don't bring it back until it's perfect. 651 00:27:54,551 --> 00:27:56,634 - Don't worry. I won't. - Wait. Stop, stop! 652 00:27:56,718 --> 00:27:59,593 We were at LACMA, and we met this guy who restores paintings. 653 00:27:59,676 --> 00:28:02,383 - He restores paintings. He's amazing! - No, no, no, no. 654 00:28:02,467 --> 00:28:05,592 Larry, we're gonna help out. Don't you worry. 655 00:28:05,675 --> 00:28:08,342 Hey! Shut the fuck up! I told you I'm gonna do it! 656 00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:10,300 Okay! Okay! 657 00:28:11,216 --> 00:28:12,716 Susie: God! 658 00:28:12,799 --> 00:28:14,216 Larry: You know what? 659 00:28:14,300 --> 00:28:17,716 I think this whole thing can be a blessing in disguise. 660 00:28:17,799 --> 00:28:20,798 - Really? - Oh, blessing in disguise? You tell me how. 661 00:28:21,132 --> 00:28:23,465 I've never been entirely happy with this painting. 662 00:28:23,548 --> 00:28:26,797 He didn't really capture the luster of your skin. 663 00:28:26,881 --> 00:28:29,089 - Or, or the sparkle in your eyes. - (slaps) 664 00:28:29,173 --> 00:28:30,839 The sparkle in her eyes. 665 00:28:30,922 --> 00:28:32,505 Now I realize it. 666 00:28:32,964 --> 00:28:35,463 A blessing in disguise. 667 00:28:35,546 --> 00:28:37,963 Okay. Thank you. 668 00:28:38,338 --> 00:28:40,546 - Let's eat. - Let's eat. 669 00:28:43,546 --> 00:28:45,087 Milos: So, Larry, we almost finished here. 670 00:28:45,171 --> 00:28:48,129 You got-- You're two-thirds done already. It's incredible. 671 00:28:48,212 --> 00:28:50,879 Plus, I have extra boards for you. 672 00:28:50,962 --> 00:28:53,086 I take it to your house and fix your pantry like new. 673 00:28:53,170 --> 00:28:54,586 - No charge. - What? 674 00:28:54,669 --> 00:28:56,502 - Believe me, I'm gonna pay you. - Larry, I take care of you. 675 00:28:56,586 --> 00:28:58,878 I can take the stuff to your house right now. 676 00:28:58,961 --> 00:29:00,419 (sighs) 677 00:29:00,502 --> 00:29:03,835 Ha. (speaks Russian) Mrs. Greene. 678 00:29:03,918 --> 00:29:06,835 She make bad recommendation all over town about my business. 679 00:29:06,918 --> 00:29:08,127 - What? - Yes. 680 00:29:08,210 --> 00:29:10,252 - Oh, my God. - Remember? I make mahogany cream? 681 00:29:10,335 --> 00:29:11,417 - Yes. - I work so hard? 682 00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:12,792 - Yes. - I make it nice? 683 00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:14,751 - I know. - And what she do? She ruined my name. 684 00:29:14,834 --> 00:29:18,126 Oh, she's terrible. No friend of the working man. 685 00:29:18,209 --> 00:29:20,083 Okay. Larry, listen, 686 00:29:20,167 --> 00:29:23,042 I can go right now. I take the boards to your house, 687 00:29:23,125 --> 00:29:25,708 - and I make it fast. - Great idea. 688 00:29:37,706 --> 00:29:41,372 (speaking Russian) ...mahogany cream! 689 00:29:41,456 --> 00:29:45,997 (continues speaking Russian) ...mahogany cream! 690 00:29:47,039 --> 00:29:49,122 I mean, the whole thing was just a series 691 00:29:49,205 --> 00:29:51,122 of unfortunate misunderstandings. 692 00:29:51,205 --> 00:29:52,788 That wasn't Harvey Weinstein. 693 00:29:52,872 --> 00:29:55,204 That was Jeff Greene, my manager. 694 00:29:55,288 --> 00:29:57,746 I guess the culture's just sort of changing, and... 695 00:29:57,829 --> 00:29:59,829 - Hmm. Yeah. - ...um, we're 696 00:29:59,912 --> 00:30:03,328 - defining our boundaries more. - Boundaries. Boundaries. Yes. 697 00:30:03,411 --> 00:30:05,911 And personal space, like for instance, my tattoo. 698 00:30:05,995 --> 00:30:07,995 You don't get to demand to know what it's about, 699 00:30:08,078 --> 00:30:09,786 - because it's on my body. - No, of course not. Of course not. 700 00:30:09,870 --> 00:30:13,535 I, I'm not that guy. I know who you think-- I'm not that guy. 701 00:30:13,618 --> 00:30:16,410 - Okay. - We don't need lawyers or anything like that. 702 00:30:16,493 --> 00:30:19,827 Come back to work. Bring Bogey. I miss Bogey. 703 00:30:19,910 --> 00:30:22,201 - I miss that little doggy. - (Alice chuckles) 704 00:30:22,285 --> 00:30:25,035 - I'll bring him five bowls, okay? - Okay. 705 00:30:25,118 --> 00:30:27,243 If we can go back with like a mutual respect 706 00:30:27,326 --> 00:30:28,993 - and honesty, um... - (man laughing) 707 00:30:29,076 --> 00:30:31,117 - I really appreciate your openness. - That's funny. 708 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,034 You know, this is how culture moves forward. 709 00:30:34,117 --> 00:30:36,366 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 710 00:30:36,450 --> 00:30:39,033 - I'm side-sitting. - You can't side-sit with me. 711 00:30:39,116 --> 00:30:41,158 No, no. Wait. Where are you going? Stay here just one second. 712 00:30:41,241 --> 00:30:42,283 - Oh, my God. - Sit quiet. 713 00:30:42,365 --> 00:30:44,074 - Let go! Oh, my God. - Huh. 714 00:30:46,657 --> 00:30:48,323 Hmm? 715 00:30:49,157 --> 00:30:51,740 (mutters): All right. You're all right. 716 00:30:51,823 --> 00:30:54,990 Let go of me! I came here with an open mind. 717 00:30:55,073 --> 00:30:57,447 - No, no, I-- - You don't get to grab me, 718 00:30:57,530 --> 00:31:00,072 - at a banquette or side-sit! - No, I had to side-sit. 719 00:31:00,156 --> 00:31:01,530 I had to side-sit because... 720 00:31:01,613 --> 00:31:03,363 I had to side-sit because I-- 721 00:31:03,447 --> 00:31:05,612 Aah, what are you-- No, Alice! 722 00:31:08,030 --> 00:31:09,612 Hey, uh... 723 00:31:09,696 --> 00:31:10,988 How'd those test results turn out? 724 00:31:11,071 --> 00:31:12,446 You know, everybody here is really pulling for you. 725 00:31:12,529 --> 00:31:15,695 Oh, they turned out just fine. Thank you very much. 726 00:31:16,486 --> 00:31:18,237 What a blessing. 727 00:31:21,902 --> 00:31:24,444 So Victor and Sammi want to buy a house. What do you think? 728 00:31:24,527 --> 00:31:25,986 We give 'em a down payment. 729 00:31:26,069 --> 00:31:28,319 Is that too generous? You know, I never know. 730 00:31:29,069 --> 00:31:31,818 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Slow down, slow down, slow down. 731 00:31:31,901 --> 00:31:33,860 What the fuck? 732 00:31:33,943 --> 00:31:37,235 Larry, what the hell did you do to my picture? 733 00:31:37,318 --> 00:31:40,234 Oh, my God! It was beautiful, 734 00:31:40,317 --> 00:31:42,734 and it's all destroyed! 735 00:31:42,817 --> 00:31:44,900 You piece of shit, Larry! 736 00:31:44,984 --> 00:31:48,983 You piece of fucking turd nothing! Fuck you! 737 00:31:49,066 --> 00:31:50,899 Asshole! 738 00:31:50,983 --> 00:31:52,482 Lucy: Mr. David. 739 00:31:52,566 --> 00:31:55,649 Did you ask Ms. Huff inappropriate questions 740 00:31:55,733 --> 00:31:57,982 about her relationship with her dog, Bogey? 741 00:31:58,398 --> 00:32:01,190 - I guess that all depends on-- - Wait. Objection. Relevance. 742 00:32:01,274 --> 00:32:03,773 When she asked you to stop asking questions about her tattoo, 743 00:32:03,857 --> 00:32:05,190 did you respect her wishes? 744 00:32:05,274 --> 00:32:08,439 I was very curious about it. There's a guy with one eye. 745 00:32:08,522 --> 00:32:11,355 I thought it might have been Mr. Clean. 746 00:32:12,314 --> 00:32:13,856 Do you have any idea? 747 00:32:14,273 --> 00:32:16,354 I have no further questions for the witness. 748 00:32:16,438 --> 00:32:18,272 - You may go. - Thank you. 749 00:32:18,354 --> 00:32:20,230 Okay. I actually just have a couple, Lucy. 750 00:32:20,313 --> 00:32:21,938 Mr. David, the answers you're giving today 751 00:32:22,022 --> 00:32:23,562 are your sworn testimony, isn't that right? 752 00:32:23,645 --> 00:32:25,895 - Mm-hmm. - You came here of your own volition, 753 00:32:25,979 --> 00:32:27,271 - voluntarily? - I did. 754 00:32:27,353 --> 00:32:28,562 Because you want the truth to be known. 755 00:32:28,645 --> 00:32:31,353 - Absolutely. - I just have one question. 756 00:32:32,686 --> 00:32:34,519 Did you... 757 00:32:35,561 --> 00:32:38,061 use my bathroom? 758 00:32:39,394 --> 00:32:42,144 - No. - I grow tired of asking, Mr. David. 759 00:32:42,227 --> 00:32:44,185 And I remind you, you're under oath. 760 00:32:44,269 --> 00:32:48,810 Did you or did you not use my bathroom?! 761 00:32:48,893 --> 00:32:51,059 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 762 00:33:54,719 --> 00:33:56,343 - What are you doing? - I think I'm eating an apple. 763 00:33:56,427 --> 00:33:58,343 Okay. I'm worried you're not taking this seriously. 764 00:33:58,427 --> 00:33:59,593 You're blithely eating an apple here. 765 00:33:59,843 --> 00:34:01,551 There's no other way to eat an apple but blithely. 766 00:34:01,634 --> 00:34:03,676 - Yeah, but I need-- - That's how apples are eaten. 767 00:34:03,677 --> 00:34:05,037 _ 768 00:34:05,051 --> 00:34:06,426 How do you serve eggs without toast? 769 00:34:06,509 --> 00:34:08,093 You can't serve the eggs without the toast. 770 00:34:08,176 --> 00:34:10,508 You are like a president in the 18th century 771 00:34:10,591 --> 00:34:11,925 on the back of a train saying, 772 00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:15,675 "And there will always be toast with eggs." 773 00:34:15,758 --> 00:34:18,799 I think you can introduce me sort of as a renaissance man. 774 00:34:19,091 --> 00:34:21,424 A guy who speaks six languages. 775 00:34:21,507 --> 00:34:23,799 You wanna impress people with lies? 776 00:34:23,882 --> 00:34:25,258 Well, how else do you impress them?