1 00:00:08,291 --> 00:00:12,462 CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM 2 00:00:13,588 --> 00:00:16,299 Once in a lifetime, a politician comes along 3 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,844 who's not a politician, who's a person 4 00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:23,432 who cares about our community. And that man is here with us today. 5 00:00:23,682 --> 00:00:30,772 Please welcome the next mayor of Santa Monica, Jimmy Mayhew! 6 00:00:33,358 --> 00:00:36,361 Thank you for that very nice introduction, Susie. 7 00:00:36,445 --> 00:00:38,029 You know, you can sit here, 8 00:00:38,113 --> 00:00:40,407 but you can't go to Broadway when I'm selling out 9 00:00:40,490 --> 00:00:42,367 show after show for ten weeks. 10 00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:44,870 We have an obligation imbalance, okay? 11 00:00:44,953 --> 00:00:47,247 'Cause I don't do anything to invite you to, 12 00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:49,040 but you do things to invite me to. 13 00:00:49,124 --> 00:00:51,376 I offered you opera seats. 14 00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:53,378 You mean up there on the side, looking down? 15 00:00:53,462 --> 00:00:55,964 - Mussolini's view. - The Mussolini view? 16 00:00:56,047 --> 00:00:57,716 - Yeah, those are good. - I said, "Myoo-solini". 17 00:00:57,799 --> 00:01:00,719 - You said, "Muss-olini". - It's not "Myoo-solini" like muesli. 18 00:01:00,802 --> 00:01:02,554 It's not like a cereal. 19 00:01:02,637 --> 00:01:05,015 I confuse it with Mucilex. I take that for my coughs. 20 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:08,768 Now, as a resident of Santa Monica, I wanna give everyone in Santa Monica 21 00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:11,313 the ability to achieve higher education. 22 00:01:11,396 --> 00:01:13,857 You never call me. You always pick the restaurants. 23 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:17,068 Are we married? I don't understand. Am I dating you? 24 00:01:17,152 --> 00:01:19,946 You hate people. Your wardrobe sucks. 25 00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:22,240 My wardrobe? You're talking about my wardrobe? 26 00:01:22,365 --> 00:01:23,700 Yeah, put this wardrobe down. 27 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:26,161 I'm one of the best-dressed comics that ever lived. 28 00:01:26,244 --> 00:01:28,580 You're the worst-dressed person I've ever seen. 29 00:01:28,663 --> 00:01:30,499 I can't even look at you. I get depressed. 30 00:01:30,582 --> 00:01:32,834 When are you gonna die? 31 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,963 Will you please die? 32 00:01:37,047 --> 00:01:39,841 As you know, we have an election coming up. 33 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:42,219 And the incumbent, Jay Reimenschneider, 34 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,597 entered the office of mayor with great aspirations, 35 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,141 but he failed to deliver for the people of Santa Monica. 36 00:01:48,225 --> 00:01:50,393 I will not fail. I have many goals. 37 00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:52,187 That's the guy who's in my new show. 38 00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:55,357 Young Larry. He's playing me, when I was in my 20s. 39 00:01:58,568 --> 00:02:00,320 Would you mind tapping him? 40 00:02:01,905 --> 00:02:03,615 - Would you tap him? - No. 41 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:07,202 - Excuse me, could you... - What? 42 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:11,122 Just tap him on the shoulder. I wanna get his attention for a second. 43 00:02:11,206 --> 00:02:12,999 Maybe he does not want to be tapped. 44 00:02:13,083 --> 00:02:15,794 Believe me, he wants to be tapped. And if he knew that I was here, 45 00:02:15,877 --> 00:02:18,672 trying to tap him and unable to tap him he'd be upset. 46 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:21,591 I do not like being tapped, and I will not tap a stranger. 47 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,469 - Could you two please be quiet? - Why don't you be quiet? 48 00:02:25,303 --> 00:02:28,348 You two have been talking, and talking. Stop! 49 00:02:28,431 --> 00:02:29,808 You're the one talking. 50 00:02:29,891 --> 00:02:31,768 - You're talking. - You're talking. 51 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:33,770 No, you're talking, and you keep talking! 52 00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:35,272 Where'd you get that dress anyway, 53 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,607 at a substitute teacher designer warehouse? 54 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:41,820 Just stop. You mid-level celebrities, you think you're so smart 55 00:02:41,903 --> 00:02:44,614 with all your banter. Just stop! 56 00:02:44,739 --> 00:02:46,533 They won't shut up. 57 00:02:46,616 --> 00:02:51,538 Health and safety are the cornerstones of a great democracy. 58 00:02:51,621 --> 00:02:53,623 They are the foundation of the house 59 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,584 where the American dream lives. 60 00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:59,546 And to me, the American dream means that every person... 61 00:02:59,629 --> 00:03:02,549 - Don't tap me again. - Don't worry, turn around. 62 00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:05,176 - Don't touch me again. - I'm not touching you. 63 00:03:06,678 --> 00:03:09,306 I need your vote. Thank you. 64 00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:18,940 - Larry! - Asa! 65 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,736 Asa, soon to be young Larry. 66 00:03:22,819 --> 00:03:26,406 - Soon to be young Larry, yeah. - I am so excited for the table read. 67 00:03:26,489 --> 00:03:28,199 Table read tomorrow. Yeah. 68 00:03:28,283 --> 00:03:32,329 - Why don't you take a pin? - No, I don't wear pins. 69 00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:34,831 No? But you might change one person's mind, 70 00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:36,791 and how incredible would that be, Larry? 71 00:03:36,875 --> 00:03:38,543 Let me ask you a question. You see somebody 72 00:03:38,627 --> 00:03:40,587 in a hat that says, "St. Petersburg, Florida" 73 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:42,172 do you wanna go there? 74 00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:43,757 - As artists... - As what? 75 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,051 We have an obligation. Let me tell you something. 76 00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:48,637 Non-pros, there's nothing they love more 77 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,264 than when actors tell them what they think. 78 00:03:53,558 --> 00:03:54,893 What a mouthful. 79 00:03:54,976 --> 00:03:58,021 - It's really great running into you. - Yeah, good to see ya. 80 00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:01,983 And if there's anything I can tell you about myself, feel free to ask. 81 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,109 I'm an open book. 82 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,112 An open bad book, that after ten pages 83 00:04:06,196 --> 00:04:07,614 you'll put down, okay? 84 00:04:07,697 --> 00:04:09,908 You forgot your pin, by the way. 85 00:04:09,991 --> 00:04:12,160 I'll pick it up later. Leave it. 86 00:04:14,412 --> 00:04:16,581 - I thought you did well. - Yes. 87 00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:19,250 But can I just say a word to you, that's important to me? 88 00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:23,797 Hey. The hell was that? 89 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,965 - The disruptive behavior? - I'm sorry. 90 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:29,386 I was just trying to get in touch with the guy sitting two rows in front of me. 91 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,638 That woman, who is she? In the maroon? 92 00:04:31,721 --> 00:04:33,973 She's just the worst. 93 00:04:34,057 --> 00:04:35,517 Irma Kostroski. 94 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,561 She's a city councilwoman, very powerful. 95 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:42,732 The most hideous disagreeable person. 96 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,276 She's just awful. 97 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,654 I'm friends with her daughter, who's lovely, but... 98 00:04:47,737 --> 00:04:49,781 She's repugnant. 99 00:04:49,864 --> 00:04:51,991 Go mingle. Maybe you'll meet a nice woman. 100 00:04:52,075 --> 00:04:53,702 - By the way, great job here. - Thank you. 101 00:04:53,785 --> 00:04:56,371 - And your speech was terrific. - Thank you, Lar. 102 00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:02,627 Under no circumstances are you living with him! 103 00:05:02,794 --> 00:05:04,129 Yeah, that's what you think. 104 00:05:04,212 --> 00:05:06,589 Who lives with his 75-year-old uncle? 105 00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,508 - I do. - Why can't you be normal? 106 00:05:08,591 --> 00:05:11,636 I'm perfectly normal. Marcia, am I normal? 107 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:15,890 - My mother thinks you're mental! - Really? 108 00:05:17,392 --> 00:05:20,061 Yes. She told me! 109 00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:22,021 Why are you telling me? 110 00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:25,108 Well, why not? 111 00:05:26,901 --> 00:05:30,280 You're not living with Moe. Just try a little dark meat. 112 00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:33,408 Why don't you all... That's my line. 113 00:05:33,491 --> 00:05:36,286 Why don't you all just mind your own goddamn business? 114 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:37,912 He's my son. He's my business. 115 00:05:37,996 --> 00:05:40,165 Well, why don't we get some other opinions, okay? 116 00:05:40,248 --> 00:05:43,126 Marcia, do you think it's her business? 117 00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:46,129 I've seen the apartment, and it's really nice. 118 00:05:47,005 --> 00:05:50,842 And I'm sure I'll be spending a lot of time there. 119 00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:55,764 So you can see why this is a toughie. 120 00:05:56,431 --> 00:05:59,976 - I've had enough. - Look at the mess you've made. 121 00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:02,020 - Go to hell, Rosie. - No, you go. 122 00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:08,443 Hey. What'd I tell you about Ted Danson, huh? 123 00:06:08,526 --> 00:06:10,445 - Yeah, you were right. - A real mechayeh. 124 00:06:10,528 --> 00:06:12,947 - He's what? What's that? - He's a mechayeh, he's a pleasure. 125 00:06:13,031 --> 00:06:15,825 On-screen, off-screen, he's the best. 126 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,620 - Listen, I wanna talk to you... - I know what you're gonna say. 127 00:06:18,703 --> 00:06:21,164 Okay. I saw the tape. It was like night and day. 128 00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,208 What happened to her? 129 00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:26,127 Well, some people aren't good at read-throughs. She was nervous. 130 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:28,379 Once she starts rehearsing, she'll be different. 131 00:06:28,463 --> 00:06:29,964 - I'll fix it. - Yeah, I trust you. 132 00:06:30,048 --> 00:06:33,218 All right, fellas, let's go. The script is great, by the way. 133 00:06:35,345 --> 00:06:38,348 - Boy... - What are we gonna do? 134 00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:42,727 - Do you have any ideas? - Yeah. Shoot her. 135 00:06:46,147 --> 00:06:47,816 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah. 136 00:06:47,899 --> 00:06:51,027 - Got something I wanna run by ya. - Hey, put this on my chair. 137 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:52,862 What's up? 138 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,989 Something's really been weighing me down. 139 00:06:55,073 --> 00:06:57,951 - Really? What's going on? - I'm having a really difficult time. 140 00:06:58,076 --> 00:07:00,620 I had a props guy pull the mugs. 141 00:07:01,412 --> 00:07:03,832 You see what I'm dealing with here? 142 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:07,210 What lackluster assortment we got going on here. 143 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,045 They're mugs. What's wrong with them? 144 00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:12,465 I feel these mugs, they're not true. 145 00:07:12,549 --> 00:07:15,093 I've been spending a lot of time as Larry. 146 00:07:15,176 --> 00:07:18,137 And I feel like I know him more intimately than anybody. 147 00:07:18,221 --> 00:07:22,308 I just think coffee was a really important thing for you. 148 00:07:22,392 --> 00:07:26,729 - It wasn't important at all, Asa! - Would you mind calling me Larry? 149 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,524 Okay. It wasn't important at all, Larry. 150 00:07:29,607 --> 00:07:30,733 I'm an actor, okay? 151 00:07:30,859 --> 00:07:35,822 If anything rings as disingenuous, I can't fake it. I can't pretend. 152 00:07:35,905 --> 00:07:37,699 Isn't that what actors do? They fake it? 153 00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:40,743 I think Stella Adler would beg to differ. 154 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,996 Look, look at this. This isn't a real deli. 155 00:07:43,079 --> 00:07:44,372 This is a fake deli, okay? 156 00:07:45,039 --> 00:07:48,084 - I did a play my junior year... - Okay, spare me. 157 00:07:48,626 --> 00:07:52,463 - You know what? Larry... - Thank you, Larry. 158 00:07:52,547 --> 00:07:56,843 I will talk to Stan. We'll have five new cups for you tomorrow. 159 00:07:56,926 --> 00:07:59,178 - Thank you, Larry. - You're welcome, Larry. 160 00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:02,140 - Good talking to you, Larry. - Yeah, you too, Larry. 161 00:08:04,434 --> 00:08:05,977 - Really, Larry? - Did you catch this? 162 00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:08,146 I did. Can you believe that kid? 163 00:08:08,229 --> 00:08:10,398 He's rejecting everything I'm putting in front of him. 164 00:08:10,481 --> 00:08:12,942 He's the biggest mug here, if you ask me. 165 00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,820 Maybe we need to cut him some slack. 166 00:08:15,904 --> 00:08:18,531 I heard something. I don't know if it's true or not, 167 00:08:18,656 --> 00:08:22,285 but somebody told me that he was sexually abused 168 00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:26,873 as a young actor when he was 17 or something. 169 00:08:26,956 --> 00:08:28,124 Okay. 170 00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:30,168 So, Stan, I know it's a pain in the ass. 171 00:08:30,251 --> 00:08:32,378 Get five more. 172 00:08:32,462 --> 00:08:34,923 I'll get five more for little prick Larry. 173 00:08:35,006 --> 00:08:38,718 And if he rejects those, I can tell you where it'll end up. 174 00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:41,804 - We're drawing a line there, okay? - All right, Stan. Okay. 175 00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,014 Thanks, Larry. 176 00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:49,437 Unequivocally, the worst acting I've ever seen. Ever! 177 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,066 - Who talks that way? - Every sentence is different. 178 00:08:53,149 --> 00:08:56,819 One sentence isn't attached to the one before. Did you notice that? 179 00:08:56,903 --> 00:09:01,824 Lilly Collins's manager... They were really interested in this. 180 00:09:01,991 --> 00:09:03,660 - She was? - Yeah. 181 00:09:04,661 --> 00:09:06,412 You shouldn't have even told me that. 182 00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:09,040 - What good did that do? - It does no good at all. 183 00:09:09,123 --> 00:09:12,794 Hey, Lar. What'd you think of Mayhew the other day, huh? 184 00:09:12,877 --> 00:09:15,296 - Fantastic, isn't he? - He was all right. 185 00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:18,007 All right? The man's gonna be president, Larry. Trust me. 186 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:21,678 President? That's a little much, isn't it? 187 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,806 You should get in good with him. Why don't you canvass? 188 00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:28,810 Larry, you could do some canvassing with Susie. 189 00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,561 - Yeah! - Knocking on doors? 190 00:09:30,645 --> 00:09:32,355 - Yeah. - Are you out of your mind? 191 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,065 What am I, a Fuller Brush salesman? 192 00:09:34,148 --> 00:09:36,693 And you don't change anybody's mind anyway. 193 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,528 Hey, you got the basketball package, right? 194 00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:39,737 Yeah. 195 00:09:39,821 --> 00:09:41,572 He's gonna make a difference in this city. 196 00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:44,325 He's gonna get the city council to repeal that ordinance 197 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:47,286 that people can have chicken coops in their backyard. 198 00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:49,580 - He's gonna repeal it? - He's gonna try to get the votes. 199 00:09:49,664 --> 00:09:50,957 - Repeal? - What was that? 200 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:54,085 He promised me the other day, he was gonna get the city council 201 00:09:54,168 --> 00:09:55,962 to repeal the ordinance. 202 00:09:56,045 --> 00:10:02,468 The city council can repeal laws, and ordinances? 203 00:10:02,552 --> 00:10:04,721 They make the law, they can repeal the law. 204 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,682 It's just a matter of votes. They gotta get the votes. 205 00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:12,645 What was the name of that horrible, horrible, obnoxious woman 206 00:10:12,729 --> 00:10:14,689 who was sitting in front of me? 207 00:10:14,772 --> 00:10:16,983 - The councilwoman. - Irma Kostroski. 208 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,069 Irma Kostroski. 209 00:10:33,374 --> 00:10:34,876 Divorced. 210 00:10:40,631 --> 00:10:42,592 I think we need to implement and enhance 211 00:10:42,717 --> 00:10:46,262 some of these safety protocols at the Pier and Palisades Park. 212 00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:49,057 - Especially for our staff and... - Seniors. 213 00:10:49,140 --> 00:10:50,892 And seniors, yes. 214 00:10:50,975 --> 00:10:55,313 It's like a dance with death with those scooters for the seniors. 215 00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:59,067 - And the ramp. - Hey, Simon! Ramps! 216 00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:02,904 - We have to talk about ramps. - I am marking that down. 217 00:11:02,987 --> 00:11:05,615 So, let's put that up to a vote. All in favor? 218 00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,617 - Aye. - Aye. 219 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,912 Ayes have it. Fantastic. We will put that on our schedule 220 00:11:10,995 --> 00:11:14,707 and try to set up a time to try to decide on the appointment 221 00:11:14,791 --> 00:11:17,627 of those three members of that committee. 222 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,671 Fantastic. This was a very productive meeting. 223 00:11:20,797 --> 00:11:23,800 I thank you all for your time. Meeting is adjourned. 224 00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:31,974 Excuse me. 225 00:11:32,809 --> 00:11:35,144 - Do you remember me? - Yes, I do. 226 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:40,066 I'm Larry David. I just wanna apologize for my behavior at the fundraiser, 227 00:11:40,149 --> 00:11:42,360 asking you to tap someone. 228 00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:44,529 And you poked me. 229 00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:46,531 Yeah. I'm really sorry about that. 230 00:11:47,365 --> 00:11:51,035 - It was disrespectful to Jimmy Mayhew. - Disrespectful, and very rude. 231 00:11:51,119 --> 00:11:54,413 Of course, all you had to do was just touch the person in front of you. 232 00:11:54,497 --> 00:11:58,459 Needless to say, it doesn't matter. I was wrong. 233 00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,336 Thank you for taking responsibility. 234 00:12:01,045 --> 00:12:05,049 And by the way. This was very enjoyable, this meeting. 235 00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:07,635 Have you ever thought about maybe running for senator, 236 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,304 or congresswoman? What about a congresswoman? 237 00:12:10,388 --> 00:12:12,431 I don't wanna move to DC. 238 00:12:12,515 --> 00:12:15,893 Too cold. But anyway, I have to go. 239 00:12:16,686 --> 00:12:18,563 I gotta supervise a re-recording 240 00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:21,149 of an earthquake emergency announcement. 241 00:12:21,232 --> 00:12:25,194 Boy, oh, boy. You're doing great, great work. 242 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:29,407 We the people are appreciative, Ms. Kostroski. 243 00:12:29,699 --> 00:12:31,242 Well, call me Irma. 244 00:12:31,325 --> 00:12:34,704 - Irma! What a beautiful name! - Thank you. 245 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,581 But don't tell me it's with an "E". 246 00:12:36,706 --> 00:12:40,376 - No, an I. I have to go. - All right. Okay. 247 00:12:41,252 --> 00:12:44,380 I'm so sorry. Gas here, you know? 248 00:12:44,463 --> 00:12:47,258 - I get a bubble. - You get a bubble... 249 00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:53,389 - Larry with a Y. - Yeah, funny. 250 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,516 It wasn't meant to be funny. I'm just checking. 251 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,895 Yeah, but it was. It was funny. Larry with a Y, funny. 252 00:13:00,938 --> 00:13:03,191 Oh, boy! 253 00:13:05,443 --> 00:13:08,946 Maybe the most unappealing person I've ever met. Truly. 254 00:13:09,363 --> 00:13:12,950 It's almost like she was made in a lab by Dr. Frankenstein. 255 00:13:13,034 --> 00:13:18,331 He took the worst aspects of ten different people and put 'em into her. 256 00:13:18,748 --> 00:13:21,626 So you gotta become the groom of Frankenstein 257 00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:22,960 to get rid of this fucking actress? 258 00:13:23,044 --> 00:13:25,463 What an appealing prospect. 259 00:13:25,546 --> 00:13:28,674 Frankenstein, and then he had the bride of Frankenstein. 260 00:13:28,758 --> 00:13:31,510 - I don't know if he had any children. - How can Frankenstein have a kid? 261 00:13:31,594 --> 00:13:35,598 No. Dr. Frankenstein made love to fucking the bride of Frankenstein, 262 00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:36,891 and he had a fucking kid, I guess. 263 00:13:36,974 --> 00:13:39,894 No, that's not what happened. Dr. Frankenstein didn't fuck 264 00:13:39,977 --> 00:13:42,021 the monster bride. 265 00:13:42,104 --> 00:13:45,233 How you make a woman like that and not tap it? How? 266 00:13:45,316 --> 00:13:47,109 Well, I mean, that's another question. 267 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:50,279 Yeah, think about that. She's right there. You made her. 268 00:13:52,156 --> 00:13:53,574 - Hello. - Hey, LD! 269 00:13:53,699 --> 00:13:56,077 - It's Jimmy from the golf club. - Hey, Jimmy. What's up? 270 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,412 Hey, so I know you have that standing lesson on Monday, 271 00:13:58,496 --> 00:14:01,123 but you remember Saul Berman? He had the heart attack. 272 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,834 His widow wants to come in for a golf lesson, 273 00:14:03,918 --> 00:14:05,253 and all she can do is Monday. 274 00:14:05,336 --> 00:14:07,546 And I was hoping I could slide you over. 275 00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:09,882 - She's a widow and all, so... - Sure, I understand. 276 00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:12,134 Widow priority and all. Yeah, I get it. 277 00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,303 - Can you do Tuesday? - Tuesday? 278 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,973 Not great. it's election day and... 279 00:14:17,181 --> 00:14:19,767 If you got nothing else, Tuesday, what time? 280 00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:20,977 Four o'clock's all I got. 281 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:23,688 All right, see you Tuesday. Bye. 282 00:14:24,272 --> 00:14:26,148 Really hate giving up that time slot. 283 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:30,027 Can't a motherfucker live a life? 284 00:14:30,111 --> 00:14:32,530 - Sometimes, no. - She's a widow. 285 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,741 But that golf, that's white man problems. 286 00:14:35,825 --> 00:14:38,202 Yeah. We have golf. You have voting. 287 00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:41,414 Nope, nope, nope. 288 00:14:42,039 --> 00:14:45,459 - Now, these... - Perfect. 289 00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:48,421 These go in the "what were you thinking" column. 290 00:14:48,504 --> 00:14:50,881 Asa, you need to pick a pair. We need to move on. 291 00:14:50,965 --> 00:14:54,093 I can't just pick a pair. I need to feel it. 292 00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:59,098 You have 75 choices here. Pick a pair of fucking glasses. 293 00:14:59,181 --> 00:15:02,852 I'll tell you what. Put these in the maybes. 294 00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:05,104 - They're the ones, all right? - In the maybe pile. 295 00:15:05,187 --> 00:15:09,483 In the maybe pile? Just give me a moment. 296 00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:11,610 We're gonna find 'em! 297 00:15:11,861 --> 00:15:14,989 Larry, I can't do it. Can't work with that kid. 298 00:15:15,072 --> 00:15:16,657 He's driving me nuts. 299 00:15:18,075 --> 00:15:19,535 Like I told you, 300 00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:23,205 he's a fucked-up kid, he got sexually abused, I hear. 301 00:15:23,331 --> 00:15:25,958 Well, about that. I did my research, 302 00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:28,669 and it turns out that little Asa there, 303 00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:32,506 when he was a 17-year-old kid, was taken advantage of 304 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:36,469 by the beautiful 37-year-old Adrianna Amante, 305 00:15:36,552 --> 00:15:37,803 the Italian actress. 306 00:15:37,887 --> 00:15:41,599 - Fuckin' smoke show! Stunning! - That's the trauma? 307 00:15:41,682 --> 00:15:43,309 - Yeah, apparently. - I read about that. 308 00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:46,312 And not only that, but he got 400 grand as a payoff. 309 00:15:46,395 --> 00:15:47,855 - That was him? - Yeah. 310 00:15:47,938 --> 00:15:50,441 Formerly known as Andy. 311 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:55,529 Were you as lucky at 17, to be taken advantage of by a supermodel? 312 00:15:55,613 --> 00:15:59,116 Yeah, right. I was traumatized because I didn't have any sex at all. 313 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,243 I couldn't fucking pay a woman to touch me! 314 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:03,079 I'm gonna go talk to him. 315 00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,914 - And take the glasses. - Yeah. 316 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,291 And talk to him about what glasses Larry would wear. 317 00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:10,002 - Yeah, okay. - Lucky little fucker. 318 00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:14,757 - Hey, Larry. - Good to see you, Larry. 319 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,718 Having some problems picking out glasses? 320 00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,470 Yeah, it's a conundrum. 321 00:16:19,553 --> 00:16:23,140 Yeah, I'll bet. You're really giving Stan a hard time. 322 00:16:23,224 --> 00:16:25,142 You're acting like kind of an asshole. 323 00:16:25,226 --> 00:16:27,019 There could be a justification for it, 324 00:16:27,103 --> 00:16:29,563 because I know how traumatized you were 325 00:16:29,647 --> 00:16:32,233 from that horrible incident you had when you were 17 326 00:16:32,316 --> 00:16:37,780 and sexually abused by a beautiful, luscious, voluptuous Italian movie star. 327 00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:39,532 Oh, my God. I can't even imagine... 328 00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:42,493 - No, you can't. It was so hard. - Let me ask you a question. 329 00:16:42,576 --> 00:16:46,038 How did that work exactly? Did she get you in a headlock? 330 00:16:46,122 --> 00:16:49,208 It was a mental headlock. 331 00:16:49,291 --> 00:16:53,671 All right, cut the shit. Okay? You were 17 years old. 332 00:16:53,754 --> 00:16:56,298 If a cactus touched your penis, you would've been thrilled 333 00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:57,925 at that age. Okay? 334 00:16:59,468 --> 00:17:01,262 What if you were in high school, huh? 335 00:17:01,345 --> 00:17:05,433 And you slept with an older, famous actress, how would people treat you? 336 00:17:05,516 --> 00:17:07,852 They would've named the high school after me. 337 00:17:08,686 --> 00:17:10,146 Okay. 338 00:17:22,825 --> 00:17:24,076 Hello? 339 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,495 Is this Councilwoman Irma Kostroski? 340 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,247 Yeah, it is. 341 00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:30,040 This is Larry David calling. 342 00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:32,209 What do you want, Larry? 343 00:17:32,293 --> 00:17:37,756 I was wondering perhaps if you might wanna get a cup of coffee. 344 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:41,635 Well, today I'm canvassing for Jimmy Mayhew. 345 00:17:42,386 --> 00:17:43,804 You're welcome to join me. 346 00:17:44,388 --> 00:17:46,140 I'd love to. 347 00:17:46,223 --> 00:17:47,725 I'm really looking forward to it. 348 00:17:47,808 --> 00:17:50,144 Okay, goodbye. 349 00:17:53,022 --> 00:17:55,524 Good afternoon. My name is Irma Kostroski, 350 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,818 and we are here to get this man elected 351 00:17:57,902 --> 00:18:00,821 as the next mayor of Santa Monica, it's Jimmy Mayhew. 352 00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,740 - Wonderful candidate. - He's pro-environment. 353 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,450 He loves fresh air. 354 00:18:04,575 --> 00:18:06,202 He's gonna solve the homeless problem. 355 00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,579 He's gonna make 'em homed. 356 00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:14,668 Where does he stand on the issues? 357 00:18:14,752 --> 00:18:18,172 You can't say "Happy New Year" after January 7th. 358 00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:22,593 I like that. Very smart. Last year I got a Happy New Year 359 00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:24,845 during Black History Month. What else? 360 00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:28,682 No child under ten allowed in restaurants. 361 00:18:29,517 --> 00:18:31,560 - Now that's awesome. - You love that? 362 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,854 He's very strong on environmental issues. 363 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:36,774 - Really? Like what? - He respects wood. 364 00:18:36,857 --> 00:18:38,442 - I like that a lot. - Good. 365 00:18:38,526 --> 00:18:40,486 A pin for you. 366 00:18:40,861 --> 00:18:42,571 I might just have to put it on right now. 367 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,241 - Appreciate you guys. - One more thing. 368 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:47,243 He's eliminating hand shaking. 369 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:48,827 He's my man! 370 00:18:50,204 --> 00:18:52,831 A lot of the stuff you're saying isn't true. 371 00:18:52,915 --> 00:18:55,292 What, are you kidding? He ate it up! 372 00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:57,211 Yeah, well, stick to the script, okay? 373 00:18:57,878 --> 00:18:59,421 - Yes? - How do you do? 374 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,507 We're canvassing for Jimmy Mayhew. 375 00:19:01,590 --> 00:19:04,802 You know, he's for fresh air. He loves fresh air. 376 00:19:04,885 --> 00:19:08,138 He likes to breathe in fresh air. And how about this? 377 00:19:08,222 --> 00:19:10,140 He wants to get rid of the penny. 378 00:19:10,224 --> 00:19:12,851 I'm all for that. However, I'm in the middle of a book club meeting. 379 00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,104 Is that Larry? 380 00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:17,648 I hear your voice! I know it's you! 381 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,733 What're you doing here? 382 00:19:19,817 --> 00:19:22,027 - Could you believe this? - Hi. 383 00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:24,613 With Irma. Hi, Irma. How are you? 384 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,657 - You're in a book club? - Yes. 385 00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:28,993 Why is that so surprising? What do you think, we don't read? 386 00:19:29,076 --> 00:19:32,037 - What are you reading? - The Sound and the Fury. 387 00:19:32,162 --> 00:19:34,665 - You two are reading Faulkner? - Yes, we are. What? 388 00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:37,126 You're the only intellectual of the bunch? 389 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:39,670 - What, you got the Cliff Notes, huh? - What are you doing? 390 00:19:39,753 --> 00:19:42,339 We're canvassing for Jimmy Mayhew. 391 00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:45,634 Didn't you tell me the other day that you would never canvass? 392 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:48,387 No, I wouldn't canvass with you because you turn people off, 393 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:50,598 and I didn't want you to turn people off. 394 00:19:50,681 --> 00:19:52,141 He's doing a good job. 395 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,768 So you're going door to door to strangers' homes? 396 00:19:54,852 --> 00:19:56,228 - Yes. - That's weird. 397 00:19:56,312 --> 00:19:57,688 Because you don't even like people. 398 00:19:57,771 --> 00:20:01,650 Well, I hate people individually, but I love mankind. 399 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:02,901 You do? 400 00:20:02,985 --> 00:20:04,987 He's very interested in local politics. 401 00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:07,072 - He called me. - I'm sorry. 402 00:20:07,531 --> 00:20:11,243 Did you say that Larry called you and asked if he could volunteer? 403 00:20:11,327 --> 00:20:15,331 Irma, we should really get going. We got a lot of houses to... 404 00:20:16,498 --> 00:20:18,292 I know that you don't care about people, 405 00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:20,502 and you don't give a shit about politics. 406 00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,631 Well, you know, maybe when I was married to you, 407 00:20:23,714 --> 00:20:27,009 you held me back from the person I really wanted to be. 408 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,345 What's on your sweatshirt? 409 00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,347 A pin for Mayhew. 410 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:35,017 You hate pins 'cause they make holes in your sweater. 411 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:39,063 - Well, it's a thin pin. - A thin pin. 412 00:20:39,146 --> 00:20:42,650 Anyway, let's leave them to Faulkner. 413 00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,318 What's wrong with Faulkner? 414 00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:47,696 You have a great interest in turn-of-the-century Mississippi. 415 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,074 - I do! - Well, you enjoy your book. 416 00:20:50,157 --> 00:20:52,576 I don't need a club to read a book, but... 417 00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:55,871 Thank you very much for your time. Come along, we have to go. 418 00:20:55,954 --> 00:20:59,166 What are you doing? What the fuck is going on? 419 00:20:59,249 --> 00:21:01,085 - Goodbye. - Get the fuck outta here! 420 00:21:02,169 --> 00:21:04,213 What the hell's going on? 421 00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:06,799 - You can't ask to use the bathroom. - What am I supposed to do? 422 00:21:06,882 --> 00:21:09,468 Listen, you never pee when you canvass. 423 00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:11,303 Good afternoon! 424 00:21:11,428 --> 00:21:13,430 We are campaigning for Jimmy Mayhew 425 00:21:13,514 --> 00:21:14,973 for Santa Monica Mayor. 426 00:21:15,057 --> 00:21:17,351 Larry? I'm Stan's wife! 427 00:21:18,018 --> 00:21:20,312 Stan, prop master on your show. 428 00:21:20,396 --> 00:21:22,815 Really? Oh, my God. You live here? 429 00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:24,566 - Yes. - That's amazing! 430 00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:27,444 Fucking rat poison! Has to be vegan, of course. 431 00:21:27,528 --> 00:21:29,863 You know how hard they are to find in the Valley? 432 00:21:29,947 --> 00:21:31,448 I'm worried sick about him. 433 00:21:31,532 --> 00:21:33,617 - That's your husband? - Yeah. 434 00:21:33,701 --> 00:21:37,162 He's having a lot of trouble with a young actor on your show. 435 00:21:37,246 --> 00:21:40,249 He's wanting some snack for a scene. 436 00:21:40,332 --> 00:21:43,502 He's got my Stanley running around all over town like a blue-arsed fly. 437 00:21:43,585 --> 00:21:45,254 He didn't even give me gas money! 438 00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:47,548 Do you think you can come in and have a quick word with him? 439 00:21:47,631 --> 00:21:50,342 - Yeah, of course. - Okay. Thanks, Larry. 440 00:21:52,636 --> 00:21:54,012 Hey, Stan. 441 00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:55,681 - Larry. - Hey. 442 00:21:55,764 --> 00:21:58,976 - Welcome to puff paradise. - What's going on? 443 00:21:59,059 --> 00:22:02,104 Ditch the kid, Lar. He's had me drive all over town 444 00:22:02,229 --> 00:22:05,190 for the last two days, okay? Everything I give him, he just rejects. 445 00:22:05,274 --> 00:22:08,569 He rejected these because he said they were too '90s. 446 00:22:08,652 --> 00:22:10,696 And he's looking for a '70s vibe. 447 00:22:10,779 --> 00:22:13,449 These ones here are too salty. Too spicy. These? 448 00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:15,576 Not vegan, or too vegan. 449 00:22:15,659 --> 00:22:18,036 Too vegan? What does too fucking vegan mean, Larry? 450 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:21,582 - He's such an asshole, Stan. - And it's everything else. 451 00:22:21,665 --> 00:22:25,002 The pens, the cups. He wants the cups to be dolphin-friendly. 452 00:22:25,127 --> 00:22:27,921 What the fuck does that even mean, Larry? It's crazy! 453 00:22:28,005 --> 00:22:29,882 And if he flicks his fingers at me one more time, 454 00:22:29,965 --> 00:22:32,176 I'm telling you now, man, I'll shove those fingers 455 00:22:32,259 --> 00:22:34,803 so far up his arse, they'll pop out of his mouth 456 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,680 and he can use them as a hand puppet. 457 00:22:36,764 --> 00:22:38,015 - Oh, boy! - Ridiculous. 458 00:22:38,098 --> 00:22:41,602 So I have a backup, Larry. Okay? Zero calories in these. 459 00:22:41,685 --> 00:22:43,854 He's gotta love these. Look, they look like something 460 00:22:43,937 --> 00:22:47,191 from fucking Starsky and Hutch. Seventies written all over that, Lar. 461 00:22:47,274 --> 00:22:50,235 He can't reject those. If he turns these fuckers down, 462 00:22:50,319 --> 00:22:52,905 I will fucking strangle him! 463 00:22:55,783 --> 00:22:58,452 So, it turns out he did this movie when he was 17, 464 00:22:58,535 --> 00:23:00,037 and had sex in her trailer. 465 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:02,831 - He was 17? - He claimed that he was abused. 466 00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:06,502 And got a 400 000-dollar settlement, and now he's playing the victim! 467 00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:09,797 - This was his luckiest day of his life. - He's ungrateful. 468 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,592 This little motherfucker got a piece of ass, which is priceless. 469 00:23:13,675 --> 00:23:16,094 Then he got 400 000 dollars on top of that shit? 470 00:23:16,553 --> 00:23:18,972 And the movie paid him. He got paid three fucking times, 471 00:23:19,056 --> 00:23:20,307 and he still complains. 472 00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:21,975 How old were you when you first got laid? 473 00:23:22,059 --> 00:23:23,227 Fourteen years old. 474 00:23:23,310 --> 00:23:26,480 So if you were in the Boy Scouts, you would've got your intercourse badge. 475 00:23:26,563 --> 00:23:29,983 Fuck, yeah. My first time tapping wasn't some gorgeous-ass actress. 476 00:23:30,067 --> 00:23:32,861 It was this lady that made donuts and shit, donut shop. 477 00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:34,863 You don't see me coming back years later, 478 00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:37,533 asking for 400 000 dollars in donuts. 479 00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:40,953 I could've. Cream-filled, jelly. All that shit. 480 00:23:41,036 --> 00:23:43,664 I tapped the lady that made the holes, you understand? 481 00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:47,209 Hi there. Good afternoon. Before I take your order, 482 00:23:47,334 --> 00:23:49,336 I wanna let you know that we do have a special today. 483 00:23:49,419 --> 00:23:52,047 There's a fresh Maine lobster, and there's only a few left. 484 00:23:52,589 --> 00:23:54,800 - Drawn butter, lemon. - I know who loves that. 485 00:23:54,883 --> 00:23:58,595 Yeah, sounds pretty, pretty, pretty good. 486 00:23:58,679 --> 00:24:01,765 I'll take one, and could you go in and secure it for me? 487 00:24:01,890 --> 00:24:03,600 You got it. Absolutely. I'll be right back. 488 00:24:03,684 --> 00:24:06,770 Dig this, after we eat lunch, I'm gonna go vote for the mayor, 489 00:24:06,854 --> 00:24:09,106 so I don't have to wait on all those lines after. 490 00:24:09,231 --> 00:24:11,400 - That's not a bad idea. - Someone wanna come with me? 491 00:24:11,483 --> 00:24:13,652 I can't. I got a golf lesson. 492 00:24:14,027 --> 00:24:17,239 Berman's widow took my time yesterday, so I gotta do it today. 493 00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:19,032 What was I gonna do? It's the widow, right? 494 00:24:19,116 --> 00:24:20,659 Mr. David, I am so sorry. 495 00:24:20,784 --> 00:24:22,786 I know you were interested in the lobster special, 496 00:24:22,911 --> 00:24:24,872 but by the time I got back to the kitchen, 497 00:24:24,955 --> 00:24:27,040 we only had one order left, 498 00:24:27,124 --> 00:24:29,501 so we decided to give it to another diner. 499 00:24:29,585 --> 00:24:31,211 - What? Who? - Mrs. Berman. 500 00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:33,463 I don't know if you know, she's a recent widow. 501 00:24:33,547 --> 00:24:35,799 - We have other delicious dishes. - Wait a second. 502 00:24:35,883 --> 00:24:37,509 That woman? 503 00:24:37,676 --> 00:24:39,845 Yes. Mrs. Berman, there in the black. 504 00:24:39,928 --> 00:24:42,723 That's Ruth Berman! She's not the widow. 505 00:24:43,098 --> 00:24:44,766 She's Berman's ex-wife. 506 00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:46,351 They've been divorced for ten years. 507 00:24:46,435 --> 00:24:47,853 She's as much a widow as I'm a widow. 508 00:24:48,020 --> 00:24:51,023 Yeah. She took my golf lesson yesterday by claiming she's a widow, 509 00:24:51,106 --> 00:24:52,649 and now she's got my lobster? 510 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,612 - It's not right. - He's off. This is good. 511 00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,906 We thought you wouldn't come. 512 00:24:58,989 --> 00:25:00,157 Larry! 513 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,284 - How's the lobster? - It's wonderful. 514 00:25:02,367 --> 00:25:05,287 - You really should try it sometime. - So happy to hear that. 515 00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:08,749 - And how are you doing, Ruth? - Actually, not really well. 516 00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:11,168 This experience of losing the love of my life 517 00:25:11,543 --> 00:25:13,670 has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through. 518 00:25:13,754 --> 00:25:15,589 - It must be so awful. - You have no idea. 519 00:25:15,672 --> 00:25:19,968 And yet you managed to have a golf lesson yesterday. 520 00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:21,720 Saul would've wanted me to do that. 521 00:25:22,012 --> 00:25:24,139 - Absolutely. - He loved me, Larry. 522 00:25:24,222 --> 00:25:27,225 And I adored this man. You have no idea. 523 00:25:27,309 --> 00:25:28,852 I'm on to you, Ruth Berman. 524 00:25:28,936 --> 00:25:31,855 You're saying you're a widow to get widow privileges. 525 00:25:31,939 --> 00:25:34,900 - Excuse me? - You're not a widow, okay? 526 00:25:34,983 --> 00:25:38,987 - You're the ex-wife of a dead man. - What's wrong with you? 527 00:25:39,112 --> 00:25:40,864 She just lost her husband! 528 00:25:40,948 --> 00:25:45,911 She lost him when he caught her having an affair with a tennis instructor. 529 00:25:46,078 --> 00:25:48,080 This is very painful, Larry. 530 00:25:48,163 --> 00:25:50,415 Please. What an actress! 531 00:25:51,333 --> 00:25:52,793 Give me a break! 532 00:26:00,384 --> 00:26:04,054 Boy, look at this. Geez. 533 00:26:04,471 --> 00:26:06,556 It's ridiculous. It's not even moving. 534 00:26:07,557 --> 00:26:10,185 Yeah. I had to move my golf lesson or I would've been here much earlier, 535 00:26:10,268 --> 00:26:12,729 if not for this so-called widow. 536 00:26:13,397 --> 00:26:16,692 - Thank you for voting. - No, thanks. I'm good. 537 00:26:16,775 --> 00:26:19,277 - Take the pin. - It makes a hole in my jacket. 538 00:26:19,528 --> 00:26:22,155 - It's a thin pin. - Thin pin? You give me that line? 539 00:26:22,239 --> 00:26:25,575 I've used that line myself. No such thing as a thin pin, okay? 540 00:26:25,659 --> 00:26:27,869 - It doesn't exist. - Didn't hurt. 541 00:26:28,954 --> 00:26:30,455 - You happy? - Very happy. 542 00:26:30,998 --> 00:26:34,292 Hey, hey, everybody, I voted. Look at me! 543 00:26:34,376 --> 00:26:36,378 - Larry! - Hey! 544 00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:40,090 Hey, look at you! You changed your pin policy. 545 00:26:40,173 --> 00:26:44,094 No, I didn't change my pin policy, I succumbed to pin pressure. 546 00:26:44,511 --> 00:26:46,763 - I'm human. - Well, listen. 547 00:26:46,847 --> 00:26:49,599 I've been taking these glasses out for a little test run. 548 00:26:49,683 --> 00:26:51,560 - I see. Look at that. - They're no good. 549 00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:53,103 We gotta get rid of the prop guy. 550 00:26:53,186 --> 00:26:56,106 - Get rid of Stan? - Yeah. He's very difficult. 551 00:26:56,189 --> 00:26:57,983 You know what? You're driving him crazy. 552 00:26:58,066 --> 00:27:00,235 I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to make art. 553 00:27:00,318 --> 00:27:02,529 Well, he's gonna have a nervous breakdown, 554 00:27:02,612 --> 00:27:04,364 and it's gonna be real trauma, 555 00:27:04,448 --> 00:27:07,534 not like the fake trauma that you went through. Okay? 556 00:27:07,617 --> 00:27:10,829 That's where you're gonna go? It was real trauma. 557 00:27:10,912 --> 00:27:12,914 I suffered very, very real abuse. 558 00:27:12,998 --> 00:27:16,043 Hey, what are you doing? Larry, what are you doing? 559 00:27:16,126 --> 00:27:17,419 - Can I ask you a question? - Yeah. 560 00:27:17,502 --> 00:27:19,504 - How old are you? - Eighteen. 561 00:27:19,755 --> 00:27:21,715 If a woman who looks like this 562 00:27:21,798 --> 00:27:23,633 was interested in you, what would you say? 563 00:27:23,717 --> 00:27:25,260 Yeah, I'd like that. 564 00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:27,679 And what if she touched you down there? 565 00:27:27,763 --> 00:27:29,639 Down there? Fuck yeah. 566 00:27:29,723 --> 00:27:33,060 And what if she invited you back to her apartment to have sex with her, 567 00:27:33,143 --> 00:27:35,604 and then she gave you 400 000 dollars? 568 00:27:35,729 --> 00:27:37,898 - Who wouldn't take that? - Who wouldn't take that? 569 00:27:37,981 --> 00:27:39,316 Sign me up. 570 00:27:40,734 --> 00:27:42,277 Thank you. 571 00:27:42,569 --> 00:27:44,321 Is she here? When's this happening? 572 00:27:44,404 --> 00:27:46,698 Don't be an idiot. No. Of course not. 573 00:27:52,704 --> 00:27:54,414 Can I ask you a personal question? 574 00:27:54,498 --> 00:27:56,416 - What? - Who are you voting for? 575 00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:58,001 Reimenschneider. 576 00:27:58,085 --> 00:28:00,170 - You're voting for Reimenschneider? - Yeah. 577 00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:02,339 I have a proposition for you. 578 00:28:02,422 --> 00:28:05,967 I'm voting for Mayhew. We kinda cancel each other out. 579 00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:07,469 You know, this line? 580 00:28:07,552 --> 00:28:09,638 Why don't we get the hell outta here? 581 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:13,350 - I like it. - Beautiful! Let's go. 582 00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:16,686 - Pleasure. - Yeah. 583 00:28:25,445 --> 00:28:27,781 Hi, everybody. Welcome back to KTLA 5's coverage 584 00:28:27,864 --> 00:28:29,741 of election night across the Southland. 585 00:28:29,825 --> 00:28:31,284 Let's take you now to Santa Monica, 586 00:28:31,368 --> 00:28:34,204 where Jimmy Mayhew and the incumbent Jay Reimenschneider 587 00:28:34,287 --> 00:28:37,290 are neck-and-neck at this point. Take a look at these numbers. 588 00:28:37,374 --> 00:28:39,000 With 82 percent of the vote in, 589 00:28:39,084 --> 00:28:41,878 only 89 votes separate these two candidates. 590 00:28:42,003 --> 00:28:45,715 We're good. We got this. 591 00:28:46,341 --> 00:28:49,845 So, Larry, I hear you're one of my husband's biggest supporters. 592 00:28:49,928 --> 00:28:52,722 Councilwoman Irma tells me that you were out with her 593 00:28:52,806 --> 00:28:55,976 just really canvassing and knocking on doors. 594 00:28:56,059 --> 00:28:59,604 Enjoyed every moment of it. Met some wonderful people. 595 00:28:59,688 --> 00:29:02,649 - And I think we changed some minds. - I think so too. 596 00:29:02,816 --> 00:29:05,443 So nice to catch up with you both. I'm gonna go check on Jimmy. 597 00:29:05,527 --> 00:29:08,196 You've got nothing to worry about. It's gonna be great. 598 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,282 - He's got this. - The groundswell is there. 599 00:29:10,365 --> 00:29:13,577 There's such a feeling going. Isn't she lovely? 600 00:29:13,660 --> 00:29:18,623 They're just such lovely, lovely, lovely people, Angela. 601 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,334 - And the family... - The family, my God. 602 00:29:21,418 --> 00:29:23,753 - Those children are so polite. - Those kids. 603 00:29:23,837 --> 00:29:26,214 Have you ever seen kids so gorgeous in your life? 604 00:29:27,340 --> 00:29:29,676 - Everyone was lovely. - Lovely. 605 00:29:29,759 --> 00:29:32,846 I gotta eat something. I'm so nervous, my... 606 00:29:34,264 --> 00:29:37,267 I gotta get rid of that gas bubble. 607 00:29:37,350 --> 00:29:39,477 - You want a samosa? - No, thank you. 608 00:29:39,561 --> 00:29:40,687 - Mini quiche? - Nah. 609 00:29:40,770 --> 00:29:43,440 - Crudité? - No, thank you. I'm good. 610 00:29:44,399 --> 00:29:46,067 Hey. 611 00:29:46,610 --> 00:29:48,278 Hey. 612 00:29:48,737 --> 00:29:51,323 So, you're dating the councilwoman now, huh? 613 00:29:51,406 --> 00:29:56,494 I wouldn't say dating. I would say I'm exploring the situation. 614 00:29:56,578 --> 00:30:00,123 Really? You said she was the most obnoxious woman alive. 615 00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:02,751 I stand by that statement. 616 00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:04,753 And yet for some reason, 617 00:30:04,836 --> 00:30:08,048 I'm inexplicably drawn to that which repels me. 618 00:30:08,131 --> 00:30:11,801 You're so full of shit. You're up to something. I know you too well. 619 00:30:11,885 --> 00:30:14,471 - I can't find love? - Don't make me laugh. 620 00:30:15,931 --> 00:30:19,392 The results are in for the Santa Monica mayoral contest, and wow. 621 00:30:19,476 --> 00:30:21,895 With 100 percent of the precincts reporting, 622 00:30:21,978 --> 00:30:23,897 the winner is Jay Reimenschneider. 623 00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:25,106 Oh, my God! 624 00:30:25,190 --> 00:30:29,319 With all precincts in now, it appears as if Mayhew lost by one vote. 625 00:30:29,611 --> 00:30:32,656 Oh, my God. One vote? 626 00:30:33,782 --> 00:30:35,158 That's historical. 627 00:30:35,951 --> 00:30:38,870 Whatever lazy piece of shit didn't bother to vote 628 00:30:38,995 --> 00:30:41,081 is gonna have a hard time sleeping tonight. 629 00:30:41,164 --> 00:30:44,167 - How you lose by one vote? - This is ridiculous. 630 00:30:44,251 --> 00:30:48,213 So, if anybody out there decided not to vote today for whatever reason, 631 00:30:48,755 --> 00:30:50,799 you could've changed the future of our city. 632 00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:53,218 So true. One vote makes a difference. 633 00:30:54,010 --> 00:30:56,513 - It's outrageous! - How do you lose by one vote? 634 00:30:56,596 --> 00:31:02,352 I know! I know how we lost by one vote. 635 00:31:03,812 --> 00:31:07,524 Larry David thought the line was too long. 636 00:31:07,983 --> 00:31:10,277 - So he didn't vote. - You didn't vote? 637 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:11,569 Is that true, Larry? 638 00:31:11,653 --> 00:31:15,657 - No, that's not true. - I watched the whole thing. 639 00:31:16,032 --> 00:31:18,159 I watched you walk away from the line, 640 00:31:18,243 --> 00:31:21,371 and throw your voting pin in the trash can. 641 00:31:22,455 --> 00:31:23,665 Isn't that right, Larry? 642 00:31:23,790 --> 00:31:25,834 Let me explain what happened, okay? 643 00:31:25,917 --> 00:31:28,670 - One damn vote. - No! Let me explain! 644 00:31:28,753 --> 00:31:31,381 All the canvassing. I don't believe it. 645 00:31:31,464 --> 00:31:33,550 I made a deal with a Reimenschneider voter. 646 00:31:33,675 --> 00:31:35,302 You don't care about Santa Monica. 647 00:31:35,385 --> 00:31:37,929 - You only care about yourself! - No! I made a deal! 648 00:31:38,013 --> 00:31:40,640 The line was so long, so we both decided to leave, 649 00:31:40,724 --> 00:31:43,852 because we would cancel each other out, so it didn't make a difference. 650 00:31:43,935 --> 00:31:45,812 - I call bullshit. - Absolutely selfish. 651 00:31:45,895 --> 00:31:48,106 The family is lovely, just lovely people. 652 00:31:48,189 --> 00:31:50,900 Fry him! Fry him! Get him! 653 00:31:50,984 --> 00:31:53,069 What's the difference who voted? 654 00:31:53,153 --> 00:31:55,655 He would've lost anyway. It's not my fault. 655 00:31:55,739 --> 00:31:58,867 It was that fucking widow, Ruth Berman!