1 00:00:08,546 --> 00:00:12,717 CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM 2 00:00:15,428 --> 00:00:17,555 So many great actors in New York, you know? 3 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:22,477 Totally. By the way, well worth the trip. 4 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,688 And this kid, Jason, we got, he's gonna be great. 5 00:00:25,772 --> 00:00:27,523 He is so great. 6 00:00:28,149 --> 00:00:31,027 I think we're really set with the cast. 7 00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:35,031 Yeah, and they're all pretty good with one notable exception. 8 00:00:35,323 --> 00:00:36,532 Maria Sofia. 9 00:00:42,455 --> 00:00:43,498 - Mr. Greene? - Yup. 10 00:00:43,581 --> 00:00:45,124 Hi, I'm Tony. I'll be your driver for today. 11 00:00:45,249 --> 00:00:48,086 Hi, Mister David. I'm Miriam Clubock. I'll be your driver today. 12 00:00:48,169 --> 00:00:49,754 - How was your flight? - Delightful. 13 00:00:49,837 --> 00:00:51,172 - Can I take your bag? - Sure. 14 00:00:51,255 --> 00:00:52,674 Thank you. This way. 15 00:00:52,757 --> 00:00:54,801 Can I take your bag, sir? 16 00:00:56,761 --> 00:00:59,097 It's not a problem at all. It's part of the service. 17 00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:01,599 - I don't think so. I got it. - Are you sure? 18 00:01:02,308 --> 00:01:04,185 I got it. I'm good. Thank you. 19 00:01:10,191 --> 00:01:13,194 Seth Rogen, he's filming that Viking movie on the lot. 20 00:01:13,277 --> 00:01:16,114 I asked him if he wanted to do a guest starring thing on the show 21 00:01:16,197 --> 00:01:17,573 as Bud Friedman. He wants to do it. 22 00:01:17,657 --> 00:01:18,783 - Really? - Yeah. 23 00:01:18,866 --> 00:01:21,911 That's fantastic. It's all coming together. 24 00:01:22,286 --> 00:01:23,955 I'm right there, behind the red bag. 25 00:01:24,414 --> 00:01:27,166 There's mine. The brown one. Right behind you. 26 00:01:31,129 --> 00:01:32,422 - I got it. - I can grab this. 27 00:01:33,631 --> 00:01:35,925 - I insist. I must insist. - Sir... 28 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,885 - I got it. - I have the bag, sir. 29 00:01:37,969 --> 00:01:40,888 I got it. Thank you. 30 00:01:41,055 --> 00:01:45,685 - Well, let me carry these then. - No, won't be necessary. I got it. 31 00:01:45,768 --> 00:01:48,730 Please. I got it. Thank you. 32 00:01:49,397 --> 00:01:50,940 - You ready? - Yeah. 33 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,526 - They look heavy. I can help. - I got it. 34 00:02:25,725 --> 00:02:27,769 - Look who's back. - Hey. 35 00:02:27,852 --> 00:02:29,687 - How was your trip to New York? - Trip was good. 36 00:02:29,771 --> 00:02:32,023 But I hurt my back because they sent this tiny woman driver. 37 00:02:32,106 --> 00:02:35,693 I was uncomfortable with her carrying my bags, and I schlepped those. 38 00:02:35,777 --> 00:02:38,905 - Now I gotta go to a chiropractor. - You're being accommodating. 39 00:02:38,988 --> 00:02:40,656 You might as well put her in the backseat. 40 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:42,742 - And you fuckin' drive. - I'm gonna call the company. 41 00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:44,702 I don't wanna go through this again. 42 00:02:47,038 --> 00:02:50,708 Thank you for calling A&K limousine service. How may I help you? 43 00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:53,711 Hi, it's Larry David. Small issue. 44 00:02:53,795 --> 00:02:55,838 Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. What happened? 45 00:02:55,922 --> 00:02:57,048 It's not a big deal. 46 00:02:57,131 --> 00:02:59,717 You sent a woman driver to pick me up. 47 00:02:59,801 --> 00:03:01,969 And I was uncomfortable with her carrying my bags. 48 00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:04,680 I kinda hurt my back a little bit to tell you the truth. 49 00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:08,392 So I'm just calling to ask if possible the next time I need a car 50 00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:09,727 that you will send a man. 51 00:03:09,811 --> 00:03:11,979 Did this young lady refuse to help you? 52 00:03:12,063 --> 00:03:14,899 No, not at all. She was extremely cooperative. 53 00:03:14,982 --> 00:03:18,820 Mister David, let me just reassure you that our female drivers can do 54 00:03:18,903 --> 00:03:20,488 anything our male drivers can do. 55 00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:21,906 Yes, I'm quite sure they can. 56 00:03:22,031 --> 00:03:25,368 But I just don't want a woman carrying my bags. 57 00:03:25,451 --> 00:03:26,911 I don't think it's a good look. 58 00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:28,996 Okay, so this is about looks. 59 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,250 You want a more attractive woman driver, is that what you're saying? 60 00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:33,709 No, I don't care if she's attractive. 61 00:03:33,835 --> 00:03:36,504 I just don't want a woman driver. That's all. 62 00:03:36,587 --> 00:03:38,840 Mister David, we're in a pretty evolved society. 63 00:03:38,923 --> 00:03:41,467 I'm afraid that may come off a little sexist. 64 00:03:41,551 --> 00:03:44,011 Sexist? Oh, God. Please. No. 65 00:03:44,095 --> 00:03:47,390 Obviously, you don't know me at all. I'm not even the least bit sexist. 66 00:03:47,473 --> 00:03:50,101 Although, I do like to have sex with women, 67 00:03:50,184 --> 00:03:51,853 I don't know if that makes me a sexist. 68 00:03:51,936 --> 00:03:56,065 Does wanting to have sex with women make you a sexist? I don't know. 69 00:03:56,274 --> 00:04:00,361 Are you saying you want to have sex with our drivers? 70 00:04:00,444 --> 00:04:02,154 No, I don't want to have sex with your drivers! 71 00:04:02,321 --> 00:04:05,658 Are you saying you want to have sex with me? 72 00:04:05,741 --> 00:04:07,326 What? Who said anything about you? 73 00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:10,079 I don't want to have sex with you! Why would I want to have sex with you? 74 00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:11,956 Don't be ridiculous. I would never. 75 00:04:12,039 --> 00:04:14,000 Never? What, excuse me? 76 00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:18,421 Of course, maybe I would if we met and you were attractive, 77 00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:21,215 I would consider it, but... 78 00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:22,717 If I was attractive? 79 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,844 No, no, I don't care if you were attractive. 80 00:04:24,927 --> 00:04:27,388 I can be attracted to people who aren't attractive. 81 00:04:27,471 --> 00:04:29,724 I have had sex with many women who aren't attractive 82 00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,601 because I was attracted to them. 83 00:04:31,684 --> 00:04:34,854 - Yeah, tap that ass. - Okay, so now I'm unattractive? 84 00:04:34,937 --> 00:04:38,608 I don't even know you! How do I know if you're attractive or not? 85 00:04:38,691 --> 00:04:40,109 That's not what this is about. 86 00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:43,279 I don't want to have sex with you, but again, I could. 87 00:04:43,362 --> 00:04:44,822 I mean, you sound attractive. 88 00:04:44,906 --> 00:04:46,782 But the telephone is very deceiving. 89 00:04:46,866 --> 00:04:50,036 You never know. I was once on the phone with a woman from Ticketmaster 90 00:04:50,119 --> 00:04:51,704 for half an hour, and I met her, 91 00:04:51,787 --> 00:04:53,998 and it was ridiculous. It was crazy. 92 00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:58,586 Mister David, this is really out of line and very uncomfortable for me. 93 00:04:58,669 --> 00:05:00,546 I'm extremely uncomfortable. You know what? 94 00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:01,964 Let's forget I even called. 95 00:05:02,048 --> 00:05:03,299 I don't care. Send a woman. It's fine. 96 00:05:03,382 --> 00:05:06,385 Thank you, Mister David. You have a lovely day. 97 00:05:08,721 --> 00:05:11,766 - You wanna tap that? - Are you nuts? Tap what? 98 00:05:11,849 --> 00:05:13,684 Come on, you hittin' that. 99 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:15,311 That's the roofer. 100 00:05:15,394 --> 00:05:18,022 How you doing? I'm lookin' for Mister Larry David. 101 00:05:18,105 --> 00:05:19,148 Yeah, me. 102 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:21,233 How you doing? I'm Jonas from Champion Roofers. 103 00:05:21,317 --> 00:05:23,736 I'm here to check out your leak. 104 00:05:23,819 --> 00:05:25,613 It's guest room. It's up that way. 105 00:05:25,696 --> 00:05:28,908 Well, that's where it starts, and you never know where it goes. 106 00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:31,661 So I gotta get my ladder and get up there and check it out. 107 00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:36,666 You're going up? 108 00:05:36,749 --> 00:05:39,502 Yeah, I'm a roofer. That's what I do. 109 00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:42,088 Leon. 110 00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:45,299 Hey, Leon. Jonas, Champion Roofers, how you doing? 111 00:05:45,383 --> 00:05:46,717 He's going up. 112 00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:49,095 - You going on the fuckin' roof? - Yeah. 113 00:05:49,178 --> 00:05:50,221 Damn! 114 00:05:50,304 --> 00:05:52,848 I don't wanna take up any more of your time. Twenty minutes, okay? 115 00:05:52,932 --> 00:05:55,476 And I'll give you a quote. Let me get my ladder. 116 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,854 Motherfucker need a crane, you feel me? 117 00:06:01,524 --> 00:06:03,484 Let's check this puppy out. 118 00:06:32,555 --> 00:06:35,433 You know what? I think I'm gonna go outside for a while. 119 00:06:49,822 --> 00:06:51,407 How's business here? 120 00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:53,200 Business is good. 121 00:06:53,451 --> 00:06:55,036 There's no people here. 122 00:06:55,119 --> 00:06:57,371 Well, the doctor likes to space out the appointments 123 00:06:57,455 --> 00:07:00,332 so that everybody gets a good amount of time with him. 124 00:07:01,876 --> 00:07:05,379 What's the last thing you bought that changed your life? 125 00:07:05,463 --> 00:07:07,757 That's the question in this magazine. 126 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:08,966 I don't know. 127 00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:13,429 The juicy tomato. Just because Tom Brady avoids them... 128 00:07:13,512 --> 00:07:15,848 I think he's ready for you. You can just go right in. 129 00:07:16,891 --> 00:07:18,017 Okay. 130 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,269 Great news, my friend, as expected, you are gonna live. 131 00:07:20,394 --> 00:07:22,021 You have a quadratus strain, 132 00:07:22,104 --> 00:07:25,399 which can be explained by the fact that you lifted something heavy, 133 00:07:25,483 --> 00:07:26,609 which you cannot do. 134 00:07:26,734 --> 00:07:29,570 Well, what was I supposed to do? She was this frail woman. 135 00:07:29,653 --> 00:07:31,113 Well, I completely understand that. 136 00:07:31,197 --> 00:07:32,698 If it were me, I wouldn't have done it. 137 00:07:32,823 --> 00:07:35,701 But that's because I lost chivalry after the divorce. 138 00:07:35,785 --> 00:07:38,079 - Why? What do you mean? - My wife cheated on me. 139 00:07:38,204 --> 00:07:40,164 - Really? - Yeah. Three times. 140 00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:41,665 So you're leading the single life now? 141 00:07:41,791 --> 00:07:43,834 I'm leading the single life. Couldn't be happier. 142 00:07:43,918 --> 00:07:45,669 - Hey, let me ask you a question. - Sure, anything. 143 00:07:45,753 --> 00:07:47,838 How come there's nobody in your waiting room? 144 00:07:47,922 --> 00:07:51,050 Well, you know what, I like to space 'em out. Privacy. 145 00:07:51,133 --> 00:07:55,346 We got some high profile people in here, like you or Harrison Ford. 146 00:07:55,429 --> 00:07:56,680 Harrison Ford, he's a patient? 147 00:07:56,764 --> 00:07:59,600 No, it was a hypothetical. If Harrison Ford were a patient, 148 00:07:59,683 --> 00:08:02,645 I would tell you he's incredibly lovely. Bit of a curmudgeon sometimes. 149 00:08:02,728 --> 00:08:04,688 - So he's a patient? - Nope, didn't say that. 150 00:08:04,814 --> 00:08:06,899 I would assume based on interviews I've seen with him. 151 00:08:07,024 --> 00:08:09,193 - You just told me he's a patient. - No, I didn't. 152 00:08:09,276 --> 00:08:12,571 I never said I've seen my patient, Harrison Ford, 153 00:08:12,655 --> 00:08:14,907 after his last plane crash. 154 00:08:15,157 --> 00:08:17,993 Well, why don't I get you set up with a foam roller? 155 00:08:18,077 --> 00:08:19,995 - Foam roller? - Very easy to use. 156 00:08:20,121 --> 00:08:21,872 So you want me to roll? 157 00:08:21,997 --> 00:08:24,542 I just want you to roll on it, very easily. 158 00:08:24,625 --> 00:08:27,753 Elizabeth at the front desk, will walk you through how to use it. 159 00:08:27,837 --> 00:08:29,421 Self-explanatory. 160 00:08:29,797 --> 00:08:31,215 It should be pretty simple. 161 00:08:31,382 --> 00:08:34,051 But we will give you a document with some illustrations on it 162 00:08:34,176 --> 00:08:35,845 to walk you through it as well, okay, Larry? 163 00:08:35,928 --> 00:08:37,930 And then I'm going to write you a prescription. 164 00:08:38,013 --> 00:08:39,682 How do you do with anti-inflammatories? 165 00:08:39,765 --> 00:08:42,977 I know, as a Jew, I get a little rumbly in my tumbly. 166 00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:44,520 Well, I do okay. 167 00:08:47,314 --> 00:08:49,942 That's why I never became a basketball player. 168 00:08:51,902 --> 00:08:54,738 I will see you back here in a couple of days. 169 00:08:55,239 --> 00:08:58,284 And you, my friend, should be feeling as good as new. 170 00:08:58,367 --> 00:08:59,660 Okay. 171 00:08:59,785 --> 00:09:02,037 And I get a glimpse of his underwear. 172 00:09:02,121 --> 00:09:05,958 It was completely frayed, like loose violin strings 173 00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:08,419 and holes in it. It was like the underwear had been to war. 174 00:09:08,544 --> 00:09:10,546 I don't know why you didn't run out. 175 00:09:10,629 --> 00:09:12,214 You're not gonna run out. It's rude. 176 00:09:12,298 --> 00:09:15,217 My back actually feels a little better. 177 00:09:15,301 --> 00:09:16,385 - It does? - Yeah. 178 00:09:16,510 --> 00:09:18,470 I don't care. I will never be going back to him. 179 00:09:18,554 --> 00:09:21,182 - I am done. - Hey, you know what? 180 00:09:21,265 --> 00:09:23,934 Maybe that's why there's nobody in his waiting room. 181 00:09:25,519 --> 00:09:29,106 And look at this. Let's see this set, huh? 182 00:09:32,943 --> 00:09:35,821 Oh my God. This is freaky. 183 00:09:35,905 --> 00:09:38,324 - Really, this is exactly... - This is exact dimensions. 184 00:09:38,449 --> 00:09:41,035 - We had a piano here. - What was in here? 185 00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:42,995 That's my mother's closet. 186 00:09:43,954 --> 00:09:45,831 Holy shit. Look at this. 187 00:09:45,915 --> 00:09:48,292 This is the exact dimension of the apartment. 188 00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,502 I lived here from eight to twenty-five. 189 00:09:50,586 --> 00:09:52,546 Look at the size of this kitchen we had. 190 00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:55,132 Look, they even got the stove exactly right. 191 00:09:55,216 --> 00:09:57,009 Let's check out wardrobe. 192 00:10:00,012 --> 00:10:01,680 - There he is. - Hey. 193 00:10:01,764 --> 00:10:04,391 - Feels very, like, Cliff, right? - That's Cliff, yeah. 194 00:10:04,808 --> 00:10:06,977 He's loving the jackets. We got some really good looks. 195 00:10:07,061 --> 00:10:08,896 Those are good, yeah, very '70s. 196 00:10:08,979 --> 00:10:12,441 I was just looking at the schedule, and I realized this is totally my fault. 197 00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:15,486 I'm so sorry, but I can't make anything after four on Thursdays. 198 00:10:15,611 --> 00:10:17,321 - I have a church thing. - Church? 199 00:10:17,404 --> 00:10:20,783 - Yeah. - Your last name's Steinberg. 200 00:10:20,866 --> 00:10:24,745 - I'm a Jew for Jesus. I love this one. - Nice. Let's just grab a picture. 201 00:10:24,912 --> 00:10:26,956 So again, I can totally work around it, if not. 202 00:10:27,039 --> 00:10:29,208 But I hope that doesn't like throw a huge wrench in everything. 203 00:10:29,291 --> 00:10:30,626 We'll fix it in the schedule. 204 00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:33,128 - Bless you. Thank you so much. - Yeah. 205 00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:38,634 Jew for Jesus? Really? And you think he's sincere about it? 206 00:10:38,717 --> 00:10:42,304 Totally. I was so shocked and stunned, 207 00:10:42,388 --> 00:10:45,140 that face, that punum... 208 00:10:45,224 --> 00:10:48,477 And by the way, you look at this kid, his parents are a big ball of Jewish. 209 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,396 He's screaming Jew. 210 00:10:50,479 --> 00:10:52,940 What do you think about this whole Jews for Jesus thing? 211 00:10:53,023 --> 00:10:55,067 That's crazy stuff. I don't know why anyone would do that. 212 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:58,779 When you're a Jew for Jesus, you're embraced by the Gentiles immediately. 213 00:10:59,405 --> 00:11:01,782 But as much as you're embraced by the Gentiles, 214 00:11:01,865 --> 00:11:05,035 you're reviled by the Jews. He's considered like a traitor. 215 00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:07,496 - He's left us. - The Gentiles are liking him. 216 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,790 They'll put that one on the front. They're proud of that. 217 00:11:09,873 --> 00:11:13,043 We took him in. We got one. 218 00:11:13,127 --> 00:11:16,255 Why they want one? I don't know. But they got one. 219 00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:18,924 By the way, remind me when it's two o'clock, will you? 220 00:11:19,008 --> 00:11:20,217 Two o'clock? I got it. 221 00:11:20,301 --> 00:11:22,469 - Hello, gentlemen. How we doing? - Hello. 222 00:11:22,553 --> 00:11:24,596 - I'm going to get the steak frite. - Medium rare okay? 223 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,932 - Medium rare is great. - Spinach salad for me, please. 224 00:11:27,016 --> 00:11:29,310 - I'll get the Caesar. - With anchovies? 225 00:11:29,393 --> 00:11:31,395 - Please. - With the anchovies? 226 00:11:31,478 --> 00:11:33,063 Yeah, I like anchovies, so what? 227 00:11:33,188 --> 00:11:35,149 - It's just a strong choice. - Who does that? 228 00:11:35,232 --> 00:11:38,277 It's unbelievable the contempt that people have for you 229 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,071 when you order anchovies. It's like I'm a pornographer or something. 230 00:11:41,155 --> 00:11:43,866 I can honestly say I've never seen someone say yes to anchovies 231 00:11:43,949 --> 00:11:45,200 on the Caesar. Have you? 232 00:11:45,284 --> 00:11:47,578 It's like going to church on Thursday. 233 00:11:47,661 --> 00:11:50,080 - It's an odd choice. - Forget the anchovies. 234 00:11:50,164 --> 00:11:52,458 - Why would you do that? - I don't want them anymore. 235 00:11:52,541 --> 00:11:55,419 - You ruined my lunch. - I just thought it was strange. 236 00:11:55,544 --> 00:11:58,047 By the way, there are many things that you guys eat, 237 00:11:58,130 --> 00:12:00,841 lot of things you eat in particular that I don't comment on, 238 00:12:00,924 --> 00:12:02,134 that I find offensive. 239 00:12:02,217 --> 00:12:03,635 Ice cream? 240 00:12:03,719 --> 00:12:05,262 - Well, I like ice cream. - An omelet? 241 00:12:05,346 --> 00:12:07,014 - I like an omelet. - French toast? 242 00:12:07,097 --> 00:12:09,683 - Love French toast. - So what are you talkin' about? 243 00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:13,979 You know what? No anchovies. We're good. Thank you. 244 00:12:14,063 --> 00:12:16,273 You're a little defensive in the world of anchovies. 245 00:12:16,357 --> 00:12:18,025 I wish you would've gotten the anchovies. 246 00:12:18,108 --> 00:12:19,985 Geez. I need to charge. 247 00:12:20,069 --> 00:12:23,197 Don't you think someone should be able to comment on food? 248 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,573 Hi, you have a charger? 249 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,992 - It's being used. - Is that the only one? 250 00:12:27,076 --> 00:12:30,037 - Yeah, unfortunately. - Who's using it? 251 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,205 That gentleman. 252 00:12:31,288 --> 00:12:33,540 - The guy in the tie? - Yeah, at your table. 253 00:12:33,624 --> 00:12:36,877 - What's he at? - He's at twenty-three percent. 254 00:12:37,378 --> 00:12:41,465 Hey, you're at twenty-three percent. I'm at two. Can I take over the charger? 255 00:12:41,548 --> 00:12:42,758 - No. - Why? 256 00:12:42,841 --> 00:12:44,885 - Hey, I was there first. - So what? 257 00:12:44,968 --> 00:12:47,179 You know, if we were in a gym, you're on a treadmill, 258 00:12:47,262 --> 00:12:49,973 you can't go more than half an hour. You got people waiting. 259 00:12:50,057 --> 00:12:53,227 Well, the beauty of that is I never go on a treadmill. 260 00:12:54,478 --> 00:12:57,481 Would you mind unplugging his phone and plugging mine in? 261 00:12:57,564 --> 00:13:00,442 You want me to unplug your friend's phone? 262 00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:03,028 - Yeah. - Even though he just told you no? 263 00:13:03,112 --> 00:13:05,364 - Yeah. - He'll be able to see. 264 00:13:05,447 --> 00:13:07,366 So what? I don't care. 265 00:13:07,449 --> 00:13:09,993 I kinda feel like you and your friend have a strange dynamic 266 00:13:10,077 --> 00:13:11,954 that I'd rather not get involved with. 267 00:13:12,037 --> 00:13:14,498 - So, you're not gonna do it? - No. 268 00:13:18,502 --> 00:13:20,921 - This stinks. - Your own fault. 269 00:13:21,004 --> 00:13:23,465 - No, it's your fault. - You did it to yourself. 270 00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:26,635 - No. I didn't do it to myself. - You did it to yourself. 271 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:29,388 You stopped me from enjoying it. You ruined my lunch. 272 00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:31,974 - Hey, what time is it? - 2:10. 273 00:13:32,057 --> 00:13:34,017 2:10? You're supposed to remind me it was two o'clock. 274 00:13:34,101 --> 00:13:35,727 You're right. I forgot. I'm sorry. 275 00:13:35,811 --> 00:13:38,397 - My car. - I was in the middle of eating. 276 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,940 I'm sorry. My fault, Larry. 277 00:13:40,065 --> 00:13:42,568 - What's his charge now? - Twenty-eight percent. 278 00:13:42,651 --> 00:13:45,821 - He's not having a good day. - He said somethin' to me. 279 00:13:47,698 --> 00:13:50,284 Are you kidding me? Shit. 280 00:13:52,911 --> 00:13:56,206 - Towed. - I'm sorry. That sucks. 281 00:13:56,457 --> 00:14:00,085 You could've reminded me. You said you would remind me. 282 00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:02,337 - So it's my fault? - Yeah, you didn't remind me. 283 00:14:02,421 --> 00:14:04,381 If you would've said my car's gonna towed at two o'clock, 284 00:14:04,506 --> 00:14:07,217 I would've remembered. It felt so light. It's so toothless. 285 00:14:07,301 --> 00:14:09,636 Look, you're the reminder. I'm the remindee. 286 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:13,474 Once the reminder takes on remindership, you own it. 287 00:14:13,557 --> 00:14:14,600 So let me get this clear. 288 00:14:14,683 --> 00:14:18,061 Anyone who asked to be reminded of something has to assume 289 00:14:18,145 --> 00:14:20,772 the person will die if they're not reminded, is that right? 290 00:14:20,856 --> 00:14:24,193 - Death could be a consequence. - That's very different idea. 291 00:14:24,276 --> 00:14:27,279 The remindee has to place his trust in the reminder. 292 00:14:27,362 --> 00:14:28,739 It's the sacred pact. 293 00:14:28,822 --> 00:14:30,991 If you can't handle it, then don't take it on. 294 00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:33,994 By the way, if it's so important, why don't you set your alarm or something? 295 00:14:34,077 --> 00:14:36,497 I did set the alarm, but my battery died 296 00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:38,415 because Jeff wouldn't let me charge. 297 00:14:38,499 --> 00:14:40,959 But the truth is, if you had your phone, we're not in this, okay? 298 00:14:41,043 --> 00:14:43,670 - Absolutely. It's all his fault. - Let's go enjoy the rest of the lunch. 299 00:14:43,754 --> 00:14:46,215 I can't stand this lunch. I gotta get somethin' else. 300 00:15:06,777 --> 00:15:09,321 - Hey, man. - You made coffee, great. 301 00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:13,116 Man, I had the worst, worst night's sleep. 302 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,035 I felt like I heard creaking, 303 00:15:15,118 --> 00:15:17,913 and I think that roofer must've weakened it or something. 304 00:15:17,996 --> 00:15:21,041 The size of that motherfucker walkin' around all over the roof, 305 00:15:21,124 --> 00:15:24,294 we're lucky the drywall ain't crackin' and shit from his big ass. 306 00:15:24,378 --> 00:15:27,214 Anyway, it was the worst. 307 00:15:27,297 --> 00:15:30,217 And you just lay there, and your mind just wanders. 308 00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,428 You can't get back to bed. You think about all this crazy stuff. 309 00:15:33,512 --> 00:15:36,807 If you saw a picture of a bearded lady in the circus without the beard, 310 00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:39,268 and she was really attractive, would you try and date her 311 00:15:39,351 --> 00:15:41,311 and convince her to shave? 312 00:15:41,395 --> 00:15:44,064 The fuck? I had one more left. 313 00:15:44,439 --> 00:15:47,234 Who the fuck ate my last fuckin' Haagen-Dazs popsicle? 314 00:15:47,317 --> 00:15:48,527 I don't know. Wasn't me. 315 00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:51,697 You know who's been here, walkin' around the fuckin' house? 316 00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:53,198 It's that fat ass goddamn roofer. 317 00:15:53,282 --> 00:15:57,995 When food's missing, suspicions invariably turn to the heavyset. 318 00:15:58,078 --> 00:15:59,955 That motherfucker's F-A-T positive. 319 00:16:00,038 --> 00:16:01,832 You know what I'm sayin'? If a hat was missing, 320 00:16:01,915 --> 00:16:04,459 I would blame a bald head motherfucker like you. 321 00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:05,669 That's the roofer. 322 00:16:05,752 --> 00:16:07,588 - Hey, Larry. - How are you? 323 00:16:07,671 --> 00:16:10,173 Good. I got something special to show you. 324 00:16:10,257 --> 00:16:13,635 I have got a brand new pallet of tiles 325 00:16:13,719 --> 00:16:15,429 to replace the cracked ones on the roof. 326 00:16:15,512 --> 00:16:17,389 I'm sure they're fine. I don't need to see it. 327 00:16:17,472 --> 00:16:19,975 You're gonna be very impressed. Come on. 328 00:16:20,058 --> 00:16:23,353 There's no point in showing me tiles. I have no interest in tiles. 329 00:16:23,437 --> 00:16:25,731 Check this out. Look at those bad boys. 330 00:16:25,856 --> 00:16:28,150 - Fantastic. Gorgeous tile. - Only the best. 331 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,776 I'm really glad I got to see 'em. 332 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,403 I'll be up there for a couple of days. 333 00:16:31,486 --> 00:16:33,780 I'm gonna put these in, and they'll be good as new. 334 00:16:33,864 --> 00:16:36,283 - You're going up? - Yeah. That's what I do. 335 00:16:36,366 --> 00:16:38,493 - Couple of days? - You want it perfect, don't you? 336 00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:40,120 Why don't you send this kid up there? 337 00:16:40,203 --> 00:16:42,956 Eric's in training. Eric is my assistant. 338 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,000 - Send him up. - He's not ready to go up yet. 339 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:46,668 Yeah, I don't go up. He goes up. 340 00:16:46,752 --> 00:16:49,254 You go up. And you supervise from down here. 341 00:16:49,338 --> 00:16:52,674 I don't think he really wants to be a roofer. Tell him. 342 00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:56,136 I'm looking into tattooing. Tattoo. Tattoo artist. 343 00:16:56,219 --> 00:16:58,013 Why don't you give Larry a tattoo? 344 00:16:59,181 --> 00:17:00,807 I mean, I'd be down for that. 345 00:17:00,891 --> 00:17:02,643 - That's not going to happen. - No? No way? 346 00:17:02,726 --> 00:17:04,770 He's the roofer. I'm the roofer's helper. 347 00:17:04,853 --> 00:17:07,022 He goes up. I stay down here. 348 00:17:09,399 --> 00:17:11,068 Did you ask him about my popsicles? 349 00:17:11,151 --> 00:17:13,153 He's not interested in your food. 350 00:17:13,278 --> 00:17:15,739 No, no, no. He's not interested in your fuckin' food! 351 00:17:15,822 --> 00:17:19,368 He don't want the fuckin' mung beans and fuckin' wheatgrass, olives. 352 00:17:19,451 --> 00:17:23,163 What's that red shit stuck inside the fuckin' olive? 353 00:17:23,246 --> 00:17:24,373 Pimento? 354 00:17:24,456 --> 00:17:26,416 Essentially, they come out of a lady after she have a baby. 355 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:29,336 That man got a sweet tooth. He wants all my snacks and shit. 356 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,181 Okay, you know what? I can't stay here. 357 00:17:41,264 --> 00:17:42,766 I'm not going to stay here. 358 00:17:42,849 --> 00:17:44,810 I didn't sleep last night. I'm packin' a bag. 359 00:17:44,893 --> 00:17:46,520 He's going to be here for a couple of days. 360 00:17:46,645 --> 00:17:48,647 I'm not staying here a couple of days. 361 00:17:50,023 --> 00:17:51,733 - Are you kidding me? - What you gon' do? 362 00:17:51,817 --> 00:17:53,860 I don't know. I'll go to Freddy's. 363 00:17:53,944 --> 00:17:56,154 Shit. I don't have my car. My car got towed. 364 00:17:56,947 --> 00:17:59,157 And I gotta go to the chiropractor. I gotta to go work. 365 00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:00,742 This really stinks. 366 00:18:01,743 --> 00:18:04,121 Shit. What the fuck? 367 00:18:06,915 --> 00:18:08,667 - Hello. - You called for a car. 368 00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,335 I did. Yeah. 369 00:18:30,897 --> 00:18:33,024 - I gotta make a stop. - All right. 370 00:18:36,403 --> 00:18:38,905 Larry! How we doing today? 371 00:18:38,989 --> 00:18:40,615 You know what? Much better. 372 00:18:40,699 --> 00:18:42,451 That's what I like to hear. Tell me. 373 00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:45,704 - You have worked magic. - That's what I do. 374 00:18:45,996 --> 00:18:49,249 So pain is lessened? Meds are agreeing with you? 375 00:18:49,332 --> 00:18:50,500 Yeah, I'm doing the roller. 376 00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:53,253 So here's what I think we're gonna do. I think I'm going to lower the dosage. 377 00:18:53,336 --> 00:18:54,880 Or maybe even cut you off entirely. 378 00:18:55,005 --> 00:18:56,965 And then I wanna stick with the foam roller, 379 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,842 but I'm going to give you a firmer roller. 380 00:18:58,925 --> 00:19:01,261 And remember, key is, you don't wanna push too hard. 381 00:19:01,511 --> 00:19:03,013 Just enough to make it work. 382 00:19:03,889 --> 00:19:05,974 What do we got here? 383 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:08,351 Let's go with this bad boy. 384 00:19:08,435 --> 00:19:11,354 Elizabeth at the front will walk you through it, 385 00:19:11,438 --> 00:19:14,191 same principle as last. Are you all right? 386 00:19:17,027 --> 00:19:19,154 - Can I be honest with you? - Yeah. 387 00:19:19,237 --> 00:19:21,990 So, the first time I was here, you bent over, 388 00:19:22,783 --> 00:19:27,788 and I noticed that your underwear was quite frayed. 389 00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:29,581 - Frayed? - Frayed. 390 00:19:29,664 --> 00:19:31,041 - Frayed how? - It's stringy. 391 00:19:31,124 --> 00:19:33,710 And you had holes in it as well. 392 00:19:33,794 --> 00:19:38,548 And I'm coming to the conclusion that the reason that I don't see patients 393 00:19:39,007 --> 00:19:40,217 in your office... 394 00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,177 Is because of the nature of my underwear. 395 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:45,764 Yes. I think they stopped coming because they see your underwear 396 00:19:45,847 --> 00:19:47,432 and know that something's amiss. 397 00:19:47,516 --> 00:19:50,268 And they stay away. You're losing a lot of business. 398 00:19:50,352 --> 00:19:53,480 Look what it says about you, slovenly, unkempt, 399 00:19:53,563 --> 00:19:56,233 can't take care of himself. Who wants to see a doctor like that? 400 00:19:56,316 --> 00:19:58,527 Nobody. I wouldn't wanna see that doctor. 401 00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:02,405 Your underwear, it's threadbare beyond all normal usage. 402 00:20:02,489 --> 00:20:04,866 You gotta have some underwear awareness. 403 00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:07,285 - What the hell do I do? - Here's a good rule of thumb. 404 00:20:07,369 --> 00:20:10,789 Once the cotton detaches from the elastic, they gotta go. 405 00:20:10,872 --> 00:20:13,500 - And are your balls dangling? - They are. 406 00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:15,544 Once your balls are dangling, it's over. 407 00:20:15,669 --> 00:20:18,129 So what should I do with these, the ones that I have? 408 00:20:18,213 --> 00:20:20,882 - Use 'em for emergencies only? - These aren't even for emergencies. 409 00:20:20,966 --> 00:20:23,510 You throw 'em out. A heroin addict doesn't keep the needles. 410 00:20:23,593 --> 00:20:26,429 - What do I do about this situation? - How about this? 411 00:20:27,055 --> 00:20:30,392 Suppose you write an email to all your patients? 412 00:20:31,351 --> 00:20:32,936 Hold that thought. 413 00:20:35,105 --> 00:20:36,606 Talk to me. 414 00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:41,236 "It is vitally important to me that my patients be able to trust their doctor." 415 00:20:41,319 --> 00:20:46,116 "It has recently come to my attention that my underwear is quite frayed." 416 00:20:50,287 --> 00:20:54,416 They're filming some movie. Sorry, I can't get you closer to your stage. 417 00:20:54,499 --> 00:20:57,210 They're making me park a little further away today. 418 00:20:58,295 --> 00:21:00,255 - That's okay. - You sure? 419 00:21:00,338 --> 00:21:02,841 - Yeah, it's fine. - You want me to wait for you? 420 00:21:02,924 --> 00:21:06,636 No, a friend of mine is going to take me where I need to go later. 421 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,430 All righty. 422 00:21:08,722 --> 00:21:10,140 Okay, ready to rehearse. 423 00:21:10,223 --> 00:21:13,310 You're sailing on your ship, and you're meeting Jormungandr. 424 00:21:13,393 --> 00:21:16,855 Does this hat look stupid, man? I just feel like this was a mistake. 425 00:21:16,938 --> 00:21:18,481 So much gack. 426 00:21:18,565 --> 00:21:20,150 Why did they wear all this shit back then? 427 00:21:20,233 --> 00:21:23,570 What a cumbersome fucking... Ready. 428 00:21:24,112 --> 00:21:27,824 That one looks great. And you said we're going to try the accent again. 429 00:21:28,241 --> 00:21:29,910 I'm going to try the accent. 430 00:21:29,993 --> 00:21:32,871 I might just ADR the whole movie in post. 431 00:21:32,954 --> 00:21:35,373 Where am I lookin'? Is this top tennis ball? What is that? 432 00:21:35,498 --> 00:21:37,792 The top tennis ball is his third eye. 433 00:21:37,876 --> 00:21:41,630 Fuckin' shit. Okay. Can't look down, ever. 434 00:21:41,713 --> 00:21:44,341 Okay. Ready to rehearse. And action. 435 00:21:44,424 --> 00:21:48,136 I am Bjorn, son of Bjorn, and we make fish. 436 00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:51,139 That is what my family does. 437 00:21:51,222 --> 00:21:54,309 I am the greatest fisherman in the whole sea. 438 00:22:09,616 --> 00:22:11,743 - Hey, Lar. - Hey. 439 00:22:13,828 --> 00:22:17,874 No, no! It's car company protocol. 440 00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:20,669 - They don't want me to carry my bags. - Yeah? 441 00:22:20,752 --> 00:22:23,254 They said it's sexist. I had a whole conversation with 'em. 442 00:22:23,338 --> 00:22:26,132 - Sure you did. - The company wants her to do that. 443 00:22:26,216 --> 00:22:28,677 - It's not me. - Can't disobey the car company. 444 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,805 - I carried them the last time. - Sure, Larry. 445 00:22:31,888 --> 00:22:34,099 - How you doing? You okay? - Yeah. 446 00:22:34,182 --> 00:22:36,476 - You want help? - No. 447 00:22:36,726 --> 00:22:38,311 - You need some help? - No. 448 00:22:41,690 --> 00:22:43,191 So it's coming together, don't you think? 449 00:22:43,274 --> 00:22:45,026 The plastic is a great touch. I love that. 450 00:22:45,151 --> 00:22:46,736 I know you want to change the table out. 451 00:22:46,820 --> 00:22:49,614 Larry, do you have just a quick second? I'm sorry to interrupt. 452 00:22:49,698 --> 00:22:52,075 - We'll finish this up later? - Great, okay. 453 00:22:52,158 --> 00:22:53,201 What's up? 454 00:22:53,284 --> 00:22:56,955 I don't mean to be a problem. Do you know Jason, right? 455 00:22:57,038 --> 00:22:59,374 - Jason Steinberg, yeah. - Yeah. So he's a Jew for Jesus. 456 00:22:59,457 --> 00:23:00,500 Yeah, I know. 457 00:23:00,583 --> 00:23:02,502 It's starting to interfere with our performing. 458 00:23:02,585 --> 00:23:05,005 We're trying to rehearse, and we're being converted basically. 459 00:23:05,088 --> 00:23:07,924 You know, a lot of pamphlets and signs and stuff. 460 00:23:08,341 --> 00:23:09,676 - He's proselytizing? - Yes. 461 00:23:09,759 --> 00:23:11,886 He has mini Bibles, those little keychain Bibles. 462 00:23:11,970 --> 00:23:14,055 Okay, well, thanks for letting me know. 463 00:23:14,139 --> 00:23:16,433 - We're sure he's a good guy. - I'll take care of it. 464 00:23:16,516 --> 00:23:17,976 Thank you so much. 465 00:23:24,315 --> 00:23:26,568 - Hey. - Larry, hey, do you have a second? 466 00:23:26,776 --> 00:23:28,528 - You know, I actually do. - That's great. 467 00:23:28,611 --> 00:23:33,324 In the scene where I swap with Larry as the chauffeur for the blind woman, 468 00:23:33,408 --> 00:23:35,910 why would she not know it's me? 469 00:23:36,327 --> 00:23:37,912 Because she's blind. 470 00:23:39,247 --> 00:23:40,582 I'm just not buying it. 471 00:23:40,665 --> 00:23:43,043 - You're not buying it? - Not really, no. 472 00:23:43,126 --> 00:23:44,919 You're buying the virgin birth. 473 00:23:45,003 --> 00:23:46,629 What's so hard to believe about the virgin birth? 474 00:23:46,713 --> 00:23:50,300 It's just people get pregnant by God all the time. 475 00:23:50,383 --> 00:23:52,093 Well, they don't. That's what makes it so special. 476 00:23:52,177 --> 00:23:54,429 Why wasn't Joseph having sex with her, by the way? They were married. 477 00:23:54,512 --> 00:23:56,765 Well, she was trying to keep herself pure for God. 478 00:23:56,848 --> 00:23:58,975 What did Mary tell Joseph when she got pregnant? 479 00:23:59,059 --> 00:24:02,520 I have brought onto you a miracle, the Son of God. He grows within me. 480 00:24:02,604 --> 00:24:05,732 And then you know what Joseph did? He went next door 481 00:24:05,815 --> 00:24:08,109 and he smoked with his friend, he said, 482 00:24:08,193 --> 00:24:10,236 "she's out of her fuckin' mind, I gotta get outta there". 483 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,072 That's one of God's miracles. 484 00:24:12,155 --> 00:24:15,283 The parting of the sea and the falling of frogs from the sky. 485 00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:18,495 Look, you want to be a Jesus guy, zei gezunt, go ahead. 486 00:24:18,578 --> 00:24:22,999 These Jews on the set are not for Jesus. 487 00:24:23,083 --> 00:24:25,835 So leave them alone. No proselytizing here. 488 00:24:25,919 --> 00:24:28,379 That's out. You got it? 489 00:24:28,505 --> 00:24:30,256 - No more Jesus. - Okay? 490 00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:32,759 Just out of full just honesty and transparency, 491 00:24:32,842 --> 00:24:36,304 I'm going to be saying his name inside, in my heart. 492 00:24:36,387 --> 00:24:38,598 - That's how I get into it. - Say it inside is much as you want. 493 00:24:38,681 --> 00:24:41,392 I don't care what you say inside. 494 00:24:41,684 --> 00:24:43,895 Shoot. Sorry. 495 00:24:43,978 --> 00:24:46,272 - What's the matter? - My sciatica is acting up. 496 00:24:46,356 --> 00:24:48,108 You need a chiropractor? I got the guy. 497 00:24:48,191 --> 00:24:50,860 My back was terrible. This guy is really helping me. 498 00:24:50,944 --> 00:24:52,570 Really? That would be incredible. 499 00:24:52,654 --> 00:24:55,573 You think he can fit me in, like, I don't know, maybe today? 500 00:24:56,199 --> 00:24:59,953 Yes, I think he can fit you in today. I'll get you the number. 501 00:25:00,036 --> 00:25:01,079 Thank you so much. 502 00:25:01,162 --> 00:25:04,124 Yeah, I think I was doing like a Norwegian accent up 'til now. 503 00:25:04,249 --> 00:25:06,876 But I'm thinking of kinda pivoting to more of like a Danish accent. 504 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:10,046 - Seth? - Hey. Larry! 505 00:25:10,130 --> 00:25:13,842 You got a toddler carrying your shit around still? 506 00:25:14,134 --> 00:25:16,511 Yeah, that was slightly embarrassing. 507 00:25:16,594 --> 00:25:18,138 - It's a bad look. - I know that. 508 00:25:18,221 --> 00:25:23,059 That's why I'm here, to tell you that I'm aware of that. 509 00:25:23,143 --> 00:25:26,479 Great. As long as you're aware of it. I get it, man. It's tough out there. 510 00:25:26,563 --> 00:25:30,024 You wanna look relatable, you know? That's a big part of my thing, trust me. 511 00:25:30,108 --> 00:25:33,236 - I'm an everyman, you know? - Really? Is that who you want to be? 512 00:25:33,319 --> 00:25:34,654 People like an everyman. 513 00:25:34,737 --> 00:25:39,617 They may like an everyman, but most everyman is kinda stupid. 514 00:25:39,701 --> 00:25:41,161 Exactly, that's how I come across. 515 00:25:41,286 --> 00:25:43,746 I portray myself as stupid so people relate to me more. 516 00:25:43,830 --> 00:25:47,041 - Okay, you want to be stupid? - I want people to think I'm stupid. 517 00:25:47,125 --> 00:25:49,752 So you're a smart person who's trying to appear stupid 518 00:25:49,836 --> 00:25:51,004 so people will like you? 519 00:25:51,087 --> 00:25:53,590 Yeah, and you're a nice person appearing to be an asshole 520 00:25:53,673 --> 00:25:54,799 so no one likes you? 521 00:25:54,924 --> 00:25:55,967 Yeah. 522 00:25:56,050 --> 00:25:59,012 Honestly, just here's all I have to say about it. I'm working with you. 523 00:25:59,095 --> 00:26:02,223 People are saying our names in the same sentences. 524 00:26:02,307 --> 00:26:06,186 Try not to do things that make you very much seem like an asshole 525 00:26:06,269 --> 00:26:07,729 to anyone who's looking at you. 526 00:26:07,812 --> 00:26:10,356 I completely get it. In my own defense, 527 00:26:10,982 --> 00:26:15,653 there are certain things that I would prefer a man doing over a woman. 528 00:26:15,737 --> 00:26:17,906 Don't say that to anyone. Keep that shit to your fucking self, man. 529 00:26:17,989 --> 00:26:20,742 There are also certain things I prefer to having a woman over a man. 530 00:26:20,825 --> 00:26:23,286 - That's also bad! - Why is that bad? Like a massage? 531 00:26:23,369 --> 00:26:25,622 - Don't say that shit! - I don't want a man touching me. 532 00:26:25,705 --> 00:26:28,541 Just stop naming professions and which sexes should do them 533 00:26:28,625 --> 00:26:30,543 and which ones shouldn't. Don't do that! 534 00:26:30,627 --> 00:26:32,921 - All sexes can do all jobs. - Sure, no, I know they can. 535 00:26:33,004 --> 00:26:35,506 But we all have our secret preferences as to who you want to work on us. 536 00:26:35,590 --> 00:26:38,134 - Well, keep that shit secret. - Let me ask you a question. 537 00:26:38,218 --> 00:26:39,844 - Eye doctor? - I don't give a fuck! 538 00:26:39,928 --> 00:26:41,763 You care who looks at your eyes? 539 00:26:42,347 --> 00:26:45,350 - I'm looking at your eyes right now! - But you're not hovering on. 540 00:26:45,433 --> 00:26:47,435 - You're not an inch away from me. - It's an eye doctor! 541 00:26:47,518 --> 00:26:50,480 - I don't like it. - Urologist? Proctologist? 542 00:26:50,563 --> 00:26:52,982 - Man. - See? That makes no sense! 543 00:26:53,066 --> 00:26:55,777 You don't want a man face to face, but you want one to finger you? 544 00:26:55,860 --> 00:26:58,529 Are you going to feel comfortable with a strange woman fingering you? 545 00:26:58,613 --> 00:27:00,323 I don't give a fuck. 546 00:27:00,406 --> 00:27:02,325 What kinda woman becomes a urologist anyway? 547 00:27:02,408 --> 00:27:06,454 A very bright, enterprising woman who wants to make dicks and butts better. 548 00:27:06,537 --> 00:27:09,749 Okay. I might try that out. I'm going to let you know about that. 549 00:27:09,874 --> 00:27:12,669 I would text it, okay? Keep it to yourself. 550 00:27:12,752 --> 00:27:14,170 We don't know each other that well. 551 00:27:14,254 --> 00:27:17,090 You've said thirty insane things to me in the last few minutes. 552 00:27:17,173 --> 00:27:20,343 You're not an everyman. You are a singular man. 553 00:27:20,426 --> 00:27:21,928 So excited you're doing the show. 554 00:27:22,011 --> 00:27:24,555 - It's gonna be great. - I look forward to Little Larry. 555 00:27:24,639 --> 00:27:25,848 I'm so glad you're doing it. 556 00:27:25,974 --> 00:27:28,685 What are you supposed to do? They send a tiny woman to... 557 00:27:28,810 --> 00:27:32,563 Just stop talking about it! Just stop, Larry, walk away! 558 00:27:34,274 --> 00:27:35,858 Thank you so much. 559 00:27:35,942 --> 00:27:37,777 My pleasure. You need help with your bags? 560 00:27:37,860 --> 00:27:39,862 Absolutely not. Thank you. 561 00:27:46,786 --> 00:27:49,831 Come on in. I'm so glad you're going to be here for a couple days. 562 00:27:49,914 --> 00:27:51,708 I really appreciate it. Thank you. 563 00:27:51,791 --> 00:27:54,168 Are you kidding me? Just leave that there. Come on in. 564 00:27:54,252 --> 00:27:58,089 Yeah, man. This is fun. This is gonna be great. 565 00:27:58,172 --> 00:28:04,053 Hey, did you get that crazy email from that chiropractor, Jacobsen? 566 00:28:04,137 --> 00:28:05,847 Yeah. I wrote it. 567 00:28:05,930 --> 00:28:07,849 - You wrote his email? - I wrote the email. 568 00:28:07,932 --> 00:28:10,018 Did you stop going to him because of the underwear? 569 00:28:10,143 --> 00:28:12,103 Yeah, exactly. Did you see that underwear? 570 00:28:12,186 --> 00:28:13,521 - Yeah, I did. - Was that bizarre? 571 00:28:13,604 --> 00:28:16,357 Well, that's why I wrote the email. So are you going to go back? 572 00:28:16,441 --> 00:28:19,527 - No, I wouldn't go back. - Why wouldn't you go back? 573 00:28:19,610 --> 00:28:21,529 It was like ancient underwear. It was like rustic. 574 00:28:21,612 --> 00:28:23,948 It was like underwear that was like from the pilgrims. 575 00:28:24,032 --> 00:28:25,783 It's the sign of a lot of washing. That's a good sign. 576 00:28:25,867 --> 00:28:28,077 The problem isn't just that the underwear is frayed. 577 00:28:28,161 --> 00:28:30,580 It's the person that would put everyone in that position. 578 00:28:30,663 --> 00:28:32,373 I'm thirsty. Can I get something to drink? 579 00:28:32,457 --> 00:28:34,500 If we stop talking about the underwear, yeah, please. 580 00:28:34,584 --> 00:28:37,045 You got one Perrier left. Can I have it? 581 00:28:37,128 --> 00:28:38,671 Well, no. Not if there's one. 582 00:28:38,755 --> 00:28:40,048 You're not going to give me the last one? 583 00:28:40,131 --> 00:28:41,841 That last one goes to the host. Everyone knows that. 584 00:28:41,924 --> 00:28:43,718 You got others. Want the orange juice? 585 00:28:43,801 --> 00:28:45,803 - No, I don't want that. - Grab something else. 586 00:28:45,887 --> 00:28:47,180 I wanted the Perrier. 587 00:28:47,263 --> 00:28:49,223 Why would you even ask if there's only one? 588 00:28:49,307 --> 00:28:51,768 But anyway, I feel terrible about the car situation. 589 00:28:51,851 --> 00:28:54,479 Let me do something to help you with the car. You're still missing the car. 590 00:28:54,562 --> 00:28:58,441 I got an app. I got a guy in Tarzana who will drive you a car out here. 591 00:28:58,524 --> 00:29:02,195 No, that's okay. I'll pick up the car from the tow place tomorrow. 592 00:29:02,403 --> 00:29:04,113 - Yeah? Are you sure? - Yeah. 593 00:29:04,197 --> 00:29:06,324 What would make you happy? What can I do to help you? 594 00:29:06,449 --> 00:29:07,658 Maybe I'll have a glass of water. 595 00:29:07,742 --> 00:29:10,745 The tap water's great. I filter the filter. 596 00:29:10,870 --> 00:29:12,663 - Is it cold? - I got ice. You put the ice in it. 597 00:29:12,747 --> 00:29:14,791 - Ice smells. - I have filtered ice. 598 00:29:15,333 --> 00:29:17,877 - It's smelly. I don't like it. - Take unfiltered water. 599 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:22,131 - I just wanted the sparkling water. - You're killing me. 600 00:29:22,215 --> 00:29:23,800 You should've given me the Perrier. 601 00:29:23,925 --> 00:29:26,219 There's going to be Perrier tomorrow, okay? 602 00:29:26,302 --> 00:29:28,429 The car, what can I do to make you happy with the car? 603 00:29:28,513 --> 00:29:31,808 If you want to do something nice, go back and see Doctor Jacobsen. 604 00:29:31,891 --> 00:29:35,186 I can't get the underwear out of my head. I'm not going to see the doctor. 605 00:29:35,269 --> 00:29:37,772 I don't want to stay here. 606 00:29:37,897 --> 00:29:41,317 I'd rather the roof falling on my head in my house than stay here, okay? 607 00:29:41,401 --> 00:29:43,361 - That's extreme, Larry. - I don't think so. 608 00:29:43,486 --> 00:29:45,321 Because you can't have the last Perrier? 609 00:29:45,405 --> 00:29:48,282 Yeah, and remind me never to ask you for any more favors. 610 00:29:48,366 --> 00:29:50,952 Remind you? Who would ever sign up for a reminding gig with you? 611 00:29:51,035 --> 00:29:52,578 It's like a predatory contract. 612 00:29:52,662 --> 00:29:56,624 I wouldn't remind you of something if we had a lawyer paper it. 613 00:29:56,874 --> 00:29:59,335 Don't do the Perrier. That's an act of war. 614 00:29:59,419 --> 00:30:01,963 - You're better than that. - I'm calling a car service. 615 00:30:02,964 --> 00:30:06,342 Call the goddamn car service. Maybe they have a Perrier in the car. 616 00:30:07,135 --> 00:30:08,928 - Hello! - Hello! 617 00:30:09,011 --> 00:30:10,596 Wait a second. What are you doing? 618 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:14,434 Don't take those. I got those bags. Stop it. 619 00:30:14,976 --> 00:30:17,603 Hey, come on. Stop it. Hold it. 620 00:30:18,020 --> 00:30:20,940 Give me those. Give me those. Stop it. 621 00:30:21,023 --> 00:30:22,275 What are you doing? 622 00:30:27,530 --> 00:30:29,490 Give me the bags, sir! 623 00:30:33,411 --> 00:30:36,789 Hey, look, mommy. Mommy, that man is beating up that woman! 624 00:30:36,873 --> 00:30:39,500 No, she won't let me carry it. They're my bags! 625 00:30:42,128 --> 00:30:43,963 Honey, don't look. 626 00:30:57,143 --> 00:30:58,936 Remind me never to drive you again. 627 00:30:59,020 --> 00:31:01,772 Don't worry. I own that remindership. 628 00:31:01,856 --> 00:31:05,193 You will never ever have to think about that for the rest of your life. 629 00:31:05,276 --> 00:31:06,944 That's on me. 630 00:31:07,612 --> 00:31:08,988 It's a little harder to describe, 631 00:31:09,113 --> 00:31:12,366 but the way I like to think of it is I was in this beautiful room. 632 00:31:12,450 --> 00:31:14,035 There was Judaism. 633 00:31:14,118 --> 00:31:16,579 It was just dark. And I assumed it was a windowless room. 634 00:31:16,662 --> 00:31:19,123 And then Christ shows up, and it's not windowless. 635 00:31:19,207 --> 00:31:21,083 It's just that the windows are closed. 636 00:31:21,167 --> 00:31:23,544 And it's like, I get it. And everything clicked with me. 637 00:31:23,628 --> 00:31:25,505 I was like, wait, Jesus was Jewish. 638 00:31:25,588 --> 00:31:28,090 Wait, everyone that wrote the Old Testament, 639 00:31:28,174 --> 00:31:29,550 everyone that wrote the New Testament, 640 00:31:29,634 --> 00:31:30,843 they were all Jews. 641 00:31:30,927 --> 00:31:34,222 And I'm doing the same things, but the things have meaning. 642 00:31:34,597 --> 00:31:37,183 I actually got a pamphlet if you're interested. 643 00:31:37,266 --> 00:31:39,060 Yeah. Okay. 644 00:31:43,314 --> 00:31:45,441 Hey, Larry. I gotta borrow your charger. 645 00:31:46,734 --> 00:31:48,736 - I'm down to four percent. - Where's your charger? 646 00:31:48,819 --> 00:31:50,112 I don't fucking know. 647 00:31:50,196 --> 00:31:52,240 I've been trying to find it since I was at seventeen percent. 648 00:31:52,365 --> 00:31:53,950 I'm at nine percent. I'm charging. I'm working. 649 00:31:54,075 --> 00:31:57,745 Give me some juice until I get to seven, and then we'll go back and forth. 650 00:31:57,828 --> 00:32:01,290 Listen, we're not at the bottom of the ocean sharing one tank of oxygen. 651 00:32:01,374 --> 00:32:03,251 That's suicide. We'll both die. 652 00:32:03,334 --> 00:32:04,585 I'm at three percent! 653 00:32:04,669 --> 00:32:07,547 It's Sophie's choice. And you're the baby who's going. 654 00:32:07,630 --> 00:32:10,508 - Where the fuck is my shit at? - Let me get to fifteen! 655 00:32:10,591 --> 00:32:12,051 Larry, fuckin' look over there. 656 00:32:12,552 --> 00:32:14,053 My fuckin' charger's right there, 657 00:32:14,136 --> 00:32:17,807 and the fuckin' wire's going from there up through the fuckin' window. 658 00:32:17,890 --> 00:32:20,685 - The roofer took your charger? - You fat motherfucker! 659 00:32:25,982 --> 00:32:27,858 Let it go, motherfucker! Let it go! 660 00:32:27,984 --> 00:32:29,527 Come here! 661 00:32:29,610 --> 00:32:31,070 Let it go, you fat bitch! 662 00:32:47,003 --> 00:32:48,838 Take the rest of the day off. 663 00:32:54,927 --> 00:32:56,512 I'm fuckin' back. 664 00:32:59,015 --> 00:33:01,601 - What are you guys looking at? - You're not gonna believe this. 665 00:33:03,519 --> 00:33:06,480 Oh my God. Holy fuck! 666 00:33:06,856 --> 00:33:10,192 That's not a good look. I'm not working with that guy. 667 00:33:10,610 --> 00:33:12,111 - How's this feel? - Feels good. 668 00:33:12,194 --> 00:33:15,323 Larry, who's this guy? Who's this guy I'm working on? 669 00:33:15,406 --> 00:33:17,116 Look at you, you're good as new. 670 00:33:17,199 --> 00:33:18,951 Hey, you notice anything different out there? 671 00:33:19,035 --> 00:33:22,371 You mean something called patients? Yes. 672 00:33:22,455 --> 00:33:25,207 - I got patients back here. - It's remarkable. 673 00:33:25,291 --> 00:33:27,835 Larry, they were so grateful that I upgraded the underwear. 674 00:33:28,252 --> 00:33:30,838 I'm so happy for you. And I can't thank you enough. 675 00:33:30,921 --> 00:33:32,673 You did such a great job on my back. 676 00:33:32,757 --> 00:33:34,884 I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, 677 00:33:34,967 --> 00:33:38,137 declares the Lord. Jeremiah 30:17. 678 00:33:39,430 --> 00:33:40,473 What? 679 00:33:40,556 --> 00:33:43,517 I would love to tell you about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 680 00:33:43,684 --> 00:33:45,936 - I have pamphlets. - Fuck!