1 00:00:31,345 --> 00:00:33,404 -How are we doing? -All right. 2 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:35,846 Feeling all right? No uncomfortable sensations? 3 00:00:35,916 --> 00:00:38,885 -No, how much longer? -Maybe 10 to 15 more minutes. 4 00:00:38,952 --> 00:00:41,386 -Very good. -Yes. 5 00:00:41,588 --> 00:00:44,250 Yeah. I think you'll be very happy with the treatment. 6 00:00:44,324 --> 00:00:45,416 Really? 7 00:00:45,492 --> 00:00:47,722 You actually think you're gonna fix my neck? 8 00:00:47,794 --> 00:00:52,197 Of course, I absolutely guarantee it if you follow my prescribed course. 9 00:00:52,866 --> 00:00:55,494 -Four to six weeks, maybe twice a week. -Yeah. 10 00:00:55,569 --> 00:00:59,471 Forgive me for sounding a little cynical, but l've heard that before. 11 00:00:59,539 --> 00:01:00,563 You have? 12 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,542 l've been to a lot of different people. They all kind of tell me the same thing. 13 00:01:04,611 --> 00:01:06,374 -Really? -l never get any results. 14 00:01:06,446 --> 00:01:09,938 l've been to doctors and chiropractors and healers... 15 00:01:10,016 --> 00:01:12,246 people who call themselves healers. 16 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:14,480 Yeah, healers. What a joke that is. 17 00:01:14,554 --> 00:01:16,488 Well, I understand your concerns. 18 00:01:16,556 --> 00:01:18,956 But acupuncture has been around for a long time... 19 00:01:19,025 --> 00:01:21,619 and it's been in my family for several hundred years. 20 00:01:21,695 --> 00:01:23,060 -Yeah? -Yes. 21 00:01:23,764 --> 00:01:26,130 l absolutely guarantee total recovery. 22 00:01:26,199 --> 00:01:27,461 -You do? -Yes. 23 00:01:27,534 --> 00:01:30,935 Okay, l'll tell you what. l got a little proposition for you. 24 00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:34,697 lf you can fix my neck, l'll give you $5,000. 25 00:01:35,108 --> 00:01:38,669 And if you can't, then I don't pay for any of the treatments. 26 00:01:38,745 --> 00:01:41,009 -$5,000? -$5,000. 27 00:01:41,314 --> 00:01:43,976 -lf I treat you and you recover? -Yep. 28 00:01:44,284 --> 00:01:47,310 -And if you do not recover, I get nothing? -You get nothing. 29 00:01:47,387 --> 00:01:50,151 Well, it would be like taking candy from a baby, but.... 30 00:01:50,223 --> 00:01:51,451 -Really? -Yes. 31 00:01:51,525 --> 00:01:53,425 l love you. I love your confidence. 32 00:01:53,493 --> 00:01:58,055 Wait a minute now, if I cure you, how would I know if you are cured or not? 33 00:01:58,598 --> 00:02:01,726 What are you saying? You're saying that I wouldn't tell you? 34 00:02:01,802 --> 00:02:04,270 So I wouldn't have to pay the money? That's ridiculous. 35 00:02:04,337 --> 00:02:08,034 -Come on, l'm a man of honor. -lt's a family tradition, honor. 36 00:02:08,108 --> 00:02:11,976 lt's not in my family, but l'm trying to break the mold. 37 00:02:12,045 --> 00:02:13,740 All right, done. 38 00:02:14,748 --> 00:02:16,079 l hope you win. 39 00:02:26,793 --> 00:02:27,953 Larry? 40 00:02:28,295 --> 00:02:30,024 -Thank you. -Thanks. 41 00:02:38,371 --> 00:02:39,861 How you doing? 42 00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:44,871 -lt's Barry. -Yeah. 43 00:02:46,413 --> 00:02:47,812 What the.... 44 00:02:48,048 --> 00:02:51,040 You don't have to look at me that way, no need for pity. 45 00:02:51,117 --> 00:02:55,451 No, I mean, l'm just shocked to see you here working. 46 00:02:56,389 --> 00:02:59,552 -How long you been doing this? -lt's been a while. 47 00:03:00,794 --> 00:03:02,421 What do you want? 48 00:03:05,632 --> 00:03:08,465 Quarter-pound of swiss and a half-pound of turkey. 49 00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:11,801 All right. 50 00:03:12,205 --> 00:03:15,140 Do you ever hear from any of those guys at Saturday Night Live? 51 00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:18,268 You know, sometimes you run into somebody, you know? 52 00:03:18,345 --> 00:03:21,712 -l talk to Elliot and Andy occasionally. -Yeah, how's Elliot doing? 53 00:03:21,781 --> 00:03:23,146 -Good. -Yeah? 54 00:03:23,216 --> 00:03:25,946 The writing wasn't happening? 55 00:03:26,019 --> 00:03:28,954 You know, l just couldn't write for TV anymore. 56 00:03:29,856 --> 00:03:34,418 But things are going good, except for this thing with my dad, a situation. 57 00:03:34,928 --> 00:03:36,862 -You remember my dad? -Yeah. 58 00:03:36,930 --> 00:03:39,125 He came to your house, yeah, I remember. 59 00:03:39,199 --> 00:03:41,531 Yeah, he's doing this, like... 60 00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:47,766 -this weird number on me-- -Try and put that on the swiss if you can. 61 00:03:47,841 --> 00:03:49,570 -l covered my mouth. -Yeah, sure. 62 00:03:49,643 --> 00:03:54,046 Yeah, so, my dad is just doing this, he's basically dying is what's happening. 63 00:03:54,114 --> 00:03:58,642 And he had a triple bypass, a quadruple bypass. 64 00:03:58,785 --> 00:04:01,583 Boy, he's got seven total bases there, yeah. 65 00:04:01,821 --> 00:04:04,051 And he's left me the money in his will. 66 00:04:04,124 --> 00:04:06,422 But he won't let me have any of it, you know? 67 00:04:06,493 --> 00:04:09,394 Not a penny, until, like, he's actually dead. 68 00:04:09,462 --> 00:04:11,726 Your father's got a lot of money, doesn't he? 69 00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:13,959 Yeah, you know, and so, it's.... 70 00:04:14,034 --> 00:04:17,435 -He knows you're working in a deli? -Yeah, of course he does, yeah. 71 00:04:17,504 --> 00:04:20,735 And won't give you the money until he dies? Why do people do that? 72 00:04:20,807 --> 00:04:23,901 l don't know why you have to wait until he dies. That's crazy. 73 00:04:23,977 --> 00:04:26,673 You'd think that he would want his kid to be happy... 74 00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:29,146 as his last memories of him, you know? 75 00:04:29,215 --> 00:04:32,673 Are you guys out of peanut butter here? Because I can't find it. 76 00:04:32,986 --> 00:04:35,147 Hey, let me ask you something. 77 00:04:36,356 --> 00:04:40,417 lt's amazing that you came in here today. lt could really help me out. 78 00:04:40,493 --> 00:04:42,927 l need to borrow $5,000. 79 00:04:42,996 --> 00:04:44,054 Of course you do. 80 00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:45,893 -So I can-- -Yeah, of course. 81 00:04:45,966 --> 00:04:49,458 l'll be able to pay you back as soon as he, you know, as he goes. 82 00:04:49,536 --> 00:04:52,096 Yeah, when do you expect that'll be? 83 00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:54,606 Very soon. 84 00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:58,200 Okay, tell me if I got this right. 85 00:04:58,278 --> 00:05:00,644 -You gave $5,000 to the acupuncturist? -Yeah. 86 00:05:00,714 --> 00:05:03,046 And $5,000 to that asshole, Barry Weiner? 87 00:05:03,116 --> 00:05:04,344 Asshole. 88 00:05:05,418 --> 00:05:09,946 So, in the last three hours, you've given away $10,000. 89 00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:13,786 Yeah, that's not quite accurate. 90 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:17,023 l haven't paid the acupuncturist yet. He has to cure my neck. 91 00:05:17,097 --> 00:05:19,622 And l'll be happy to give it to him if he does. 92 00:05:19,699 --> 00:05:22,930 And Weiner's father has a heart condition... 93 00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:26,837 and he's not supposed to live that long, and then he'll give me the money back. 94 00:05:26,906 --> 00:05:29,067 l don't know why you call him an asshole. ls he? 95 00:05:29,142 --> 00:05:32,009 -He's not an asshole, he's just shy. -No, he's not shy. 96 00:05:32,078 --> 00:05:34,012 He thinks he's smarter than everybody else... 97 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,277 -and he sits there and he judges-- -No, he doesn't, he's just shy. 98 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,944 lt's just that you got shy-asshole confusion, my friend. 99 00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:42,545 -No, I don't think so, my friend. -Yes, I think so. 100 00:05:42,622 --> 00:05:45,318 People come to you with their hands out, you can't say no? 101 00:05:45,392 --> 00:05:47,383 l have trouble saying no. 102 00:05:48,061 --> 00:05:49,392 You know why? 103 00:05:49,462 --> 00:05:52,659 'Cause you're a pussy. l'm just being frank. 104 00:05:52,732 --> 00:05:55,530 Maybe l'm nice. You have nice-pussy confusion. 105 00:05:55,602 --> 00:05:57,035 Maybe l'm just nice. 106 00:05:57,103 --> 00:06:01,597 And he invited us to his wife's surprise birthday party... 107 00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:03,973 and I couldn't say no to that either. 108 00:06:04,044 --> 00:06:06,342 Hey there, flowers for Larry David. 109 00:06:08,048 --> 00:06:10,482 Cheryl, somebody sent me flowers. 110 00:06:11,017 --> 00:06:13,417 Are those from your mistress and you haven't told me? 111 00:06:13,486 --> 00:06:15,386 -Yeah, I wish. -Thanks. 112 00:06:15,755 --> 00:06:17,985 Did you give him a $5,000 tip? 113 00:06:19,159 --> 00:06:21,059 This is really bizarre. 114 00:06:22,595 --> 00:06:23,619 Flowers. 115 00:06:23,763 --> 00:06:27,699 -Who would send you flowers? -l don't know. 116 00:06:28,034 --> 00:06:29,558 They're pretty. 117 00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:32,801 ''Enjoy these beautiful orchids. Kazu.'' 118 00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:36,970 -Who's Kazu? -The acupuncturist. 119 00:06:41,614 --> 00:06:44,515 Why is the acupuncturist giving you flowers? 120 00:06:46,619 --> 00:06:48,086 l don't know. 121 00:06:52,058 --> 00:06:54,526 So, you know, working in the deli, it was just.... 122 00:06:54,594 --> 00:06:57,154 lt was depressing to see him like that. 123 00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,960 Did you even know, did you know he was working there? 124 00:07:00,033 --> 00:07:01,967 l didn't know he was working in the deli. 125 00:07:02,035 --> 00:07:05,061 He keeps in contact with me. He doesn't let me know that stuff. 126 00:07:05,138 --> 00:07:08,164 Boy. ''There, but for the grace of God, go you.'' 127 00:07:08,241 --> 00:07:10,937 -Go me, not you? -No, not me. 128 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,500 Yeah, go me. 129 00:07:12,579 --> 00:07:17,141 He invited me to a surprise party next Thursday night for his wife. 130 00:07:17,317 --> 00:07:20,411 -You're going? -Yeah, l'll pick you up, we'll go together. 131 00:07:20,487 --> 00:07:23,285 So, what do you think of this whole orchid thing? 132 00:07:23,656 --> 00:07:26,056 l think it's some sort of Japanese gay thing. 133 00:07:26,126 --> 00:07:27,286 -Really? -Yeah. 134 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,725 lt's a little strange. 135 00:07:28,795 --> 00:07:32,322 l don't know if l'll even go back to him 'cause of this. 136 00:07:32,599 --> 00:07:34,760 Would you? I don't know? Would you go back? 137 00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:37,769 l mean, that's a weird thing. l wouldn't go back. 138 00:07:38,338 --> 00:07:40,067 Let me ask you a question. 139 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:44,574 ls it common in Japan for a man to send another man orchids? 140 00:07:44,644 --> 00:07:46,612 A professional man? 141 00:07:48,548 --> 00:07:50,140 Doctor, or a.... 142 00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:57,121 l knew you'd open up a can of worms just by starting to ask him. 143 00:07:57,190 --> 00:07:59,385 -He's been weird all lunch. -What the hell? 144 00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:01,324 -l don't know what that was. -What was that? 145 00:08:01,394 --> 00:08:04,420 -That guy's a freak. -l think I struck a chord. 146 00:08:06,432 --> 00:08:08,332 -Good to see you. -Good to see you. 147 00:08:08,401 --> 00:08:11,199 -lt's been a few days. -This is my manager, Jeff Greene. 148 00:08:11,271 --> 00:08:13,432 -Jeff, nice to meet you. -Heard a lot about you. 149 00:08:13,506 --> 00:08:16,339 The estate lawyer, he's gonna handle my estate when I die... 150 00:08:16,409 --> 00:08:17,933 and I leave you all my money. 151 00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:20,639 Have you worked it out that way? Cheryl will love me. 152 00:08:20,713 --> 00:08:23,648 -You're not working today? -Yeah, l'm going back right now. 153 00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:25,946 -What's with the outfit? -lt's Casual Friday. 154 00:08:26,019 --> 00:08:28,954 -l don't like this Casual Friday. -What are you, my mother? 155 00:08:29,022 --> 00:08:31,582 You know, you're encroaching in my territory. 156 00:08:32,525 --> 00:08:35,153 l want you people to be uncomfortable all the time. 157 00:08:35,228 --> 00:08:38,129 lf you don't like this, you should come by on Naked Tuesdays. 158 00:08:38,198 --> 00:08:41,725 Yeah, Naked Tuesdays. See? He's a funny lawyer. 159 00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:45,259 -All right, I gotta go. Okay, nice to meet you. -All right, l'll see you. 160 00:08:45,338 --> 00:08:47,067 l'll see you Tuesday. 161 00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:49,768 Casual Friday. Pisses me off. 162 00:08:51,578 --> 00:08:54,138 l'm telling you, soon it's going to be Casual Monday. 163 00:08:54,214 --> 00:08:55,806 Five to 10 years. 164 00:08:55,982 --> 00:08:59,748 That's the direction we're heading. lt's gonna be a sad state of affairs. 165 00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:03,118 People like you walking around like people like me. 166 00:09:03,289 --> 00:09:04,984 -lt's no good. -l'll never do it. 167 00:09:05,058 --> 00:09:07,754 Yeah, wait'll you taste this flambé, l'm telling you... 168 00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:11,194 -it is sensational. -Larry, that's why we came. 169 00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:13,429 Here we go. Beautiful. 170 00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:24,171 So, I got a meeting set up for you at ABC. 171 00:09:24,244 --> 00:09:28,442 -Just got to confirm a date with Julia. -Okay. 172 00:09:29,115 --> 00:09:30,946 -Oh, my God. -Jesus! 173 00:09:51,237 --> 00:09:52,829 -Honey? -What? 174 00:09:52,906 --> 00:09:54,965 -Where's Jeff? -l don't know. 175 00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:57,441 -He should've been here 15 minutes ago. -l know. 176 00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:59,535 Why are we even riding with him anyway? 177 00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:01,944 l don't know, he asked me if he could pick us up. 178 00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:03,346 And you couldn't say no. 179 00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:05,680 Listen, I think we should just go without him. 180 00:10:05,752 --> 00:10:07,117 He'll, l'm sure-- 181 00:10:07,587 --> 00:10:10,385 -There he is. -There he is. Okay, let's get going. 182 00:10:10,456 --> 00:10:14,187 -Hi. Thank you. -Look how pretty you look. 183 00:10:14,260 --> 00:10:15,955 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 184 00:10:16,029 --> 00:10:19,294 -You look pretty, too. -l'm a pretty little girl. 185 00:10:19,365 --> 00:10:20,525 Larry! 186 00:10:22,168 --> 00:10:24,398 What are you doing? What took you so long? 187 00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:27,166 Room service was late with my food. What do you want? 188 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,264 No. 189 00:10:28,708 --> 00:10:30,801 -You're not wearing that. -What, why? 190 00:10:30,877 --> 00:10:32,845 You're not wearing jeans to this party. 191 00:10:32,912 --> 00:10:36,075 -They're not jeans, they're corduroy pants. -That's the same thing. 192 00:10:36,149 --> 00:10:38,811 And a blue sweatshirt and a black jacket, no. 193 00:10:38,885 --> 00:10:42,082 -Blue and black, that's no good? -That's no good. You need to change. 194 00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:43,713 Since when is blue and black no good? 195 00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:48,124 Trust me on this one, please. You're gonna have to change. And quickly. 196 00:10:48,328 --> 00:10:50,353 -You look terrible. -lt's awful. 197 00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:53,593 Maybe I have a lime-green T-shirt like yours to put on, asshole. 198 00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:55,566 What's wrong with a lime-green T-shirt? 199 00:10:55,635 --> 00:10:57,865 -No, it looks good. -Thank you. 200 00:11:01,941 --> 00:11:03,704 No, I completely.... 201 00:11:07,547 --> 00:11:09,412 -Shit. -Oh, my God. 202 00:11:12,752 --> 00:11:14,811 -Cheryl. -Hi, Carol. 203 00:11:14,887 --> 00:11:16,218 My God, I don't know who to hug. 204 00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:19,190 -Hi, so good to see you. -l hope.... 205 00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:22,519 Yeah, I left my sun.... l was in the deli the other day. 206 00:11:22,595 --> 00:11:26,053 l left my sunglasses there and I came by to pick them up. 207 00:11:26,132 --> 00:11:29,499 Oh, my gosh. This is so bizarre. 208 00:11:29,569 --> 00:11:31,332 -So, you got them, right? -Yeah. 209 00:11:31,404 --> 00:11:34,271 Why don't you go? You know, you two go in, we'll wait here. 210 00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:36,274 What is that? 211 00:11:36,642 --> 00:11:38,269 lt's my birthday. 212 00:11:38,578 --> 00:11:42,480 -That's why we got you a birthday gift. -He told us it was your birthday. 213 00:11:42,548 --> 00:11:44,413 'Cause he told me it was your birthday. 214 00:11:44,484 --> 00:11:46,952 So, I knew I would stop by for the sunglasses and l.... 215 00:11:47,020 --> 00:11:49,113 lt's from the three of us. 216 00:11:49,188 --> 00:11:52,282 -There's a surprise party in that house. -Honey. 217 00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:57,258 You're having a surprise party? What, you didn't invite us? 218 00:11:57,330 --> 00:12:01,232 -l'm so sorry, Carol. -He had to change his outfit. 219 00:12:02,402 --> 00:12:04,131 You are so selfish. 220 00:12:08,107 --> 00:12:09,836 Surprise! 221 00:12:10,476 --> 00:12:12,307 Yeah, great, thanks. 222 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,245 Happy? 223 00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:18,883 You knew? What happened? 224 00:12:19,052 --> 00:12:20,849 Larry had to change his outfit... 225 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,889 and it was just a tremendous amount of time. 226 00:12:23,956 --> 00:12:26,322 He had to eat, you know... 227 00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:29,125 have a big dinner for two hours. 228 00:12:29,195 --> 00:12:31,026 Oh, my God, you guys.... 229 00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:34,396 Sit down, have a big fucking meal in the hotel. 230 00:12:40,807 --> 00:12:44,265 Do you believe them? Do you believe what they did to me? 231 00:12:44,343 --> 00:12:46,504 l mean, 600,000 people. 232 00:12:47,246 --> 00:12:49,908 600,000 people died in the Civil War. 233 00:12:50,516 --> 00:12:52,450 And for what, to save the Union? 234 00:12:52,518 --> 00:12:55,146 Why did we want to save the Union? Who cares? 235 00:12:55,221 --> 00:12:56,688 l don't know, I don't care. 236 00:12:56,756 --> 00:12:59,748 What is important about saving the Union? Do you need the South? 237 00:12:59,826 --> 00:13:03,023 -What do you do? -l do a lot of work for the NRDC. 238 00:13:03,463 --> 00:13:06,591 NRDC? What the hell is that? 239 00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:09,231 The Natural Resources Defense Council. 240 00:13:09,302 --> 00:13:12,396 -You're an environmentalist? -l am. I guess you could say that. 241 00:13:12,472 --> 00:13:13,700 -That's wonderful. -Thank you. 242 00:13:13,773 --> 00:13:17,675 l mean, I wish my worthless son could get into something like that... 243 00:13:17,743 --> 00:13:19,870 -but no, there's no chance of that. -No. 244 00:13:19,946 --> 00:13:22,506 Do you believe my wife made me change clothes... 245 00:13:22,582 --> 00:13:24,743 before I came here? She didn't like my outfit. 246 00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:27,980 -You look good, though. -l didn't get outfit approval tonight. 247 00:13:28,054 --> 00:13:30,852 -Do you get that? Outfit approval? -Yeah. 248 00:13:30,923 --> 00:13:33,619 They got to approve your outfit. l listened to her. 249 00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:36,491 -l actually went up to change. -Right. 250 00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:40,631 That's one of the reasons that, you know, we were late. 251 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,133 'Cause I listened to her. 252 00:13:42,201 --> 00:13:45,534 lf not for the environment, then we're fighting to get money... 253 00:13:45,605 --> 00:13:48,938 -so we can fight for the environment. -Money? You always need money. 254 00:13:49,008 --> 00:13:53,001 -lt's a non-profit organization, so.... -You never called me. 255 00:13:53,446 --> 00:13:57,610 -No, I didn't. I didn't know you-- -You know, l'm not poor. 256 00:13:57,717 --> 00:13:59,082 -You aren't? -No. 257 00:13:59,152 --> 00:14:01,882 -Mr. Weiner, maybe we should talk. -Call me C.D. 258 00:14:01,954 --> 00:14:03,854 What does C.D. stand for? 259 00:14:04,790 --> 00:14:08,157 Let's see. lt might stand for ''certified deposit''. 260 00:14:09,529 --> 00:14:12,293 -For the NRDC. -l like the sound of that. 261 00:14:12,365 --> 00:14:13,457 -Yes. -Yes. 262 00:14:13,533 --> 00:14:15,194 You want to have lunch? 263 00:14:15,268 --> 00:14:19,796 And we'll talk about how we can arrange maybe my contributing something? 264 00:14:20,039 --> 00:14:22,405 Oh, my gosh, that would be wonderful. 265 00:14:22,475 --> 00:14:25,535 But we're not just gonna talk about money. 266 00:14:25,611 --> 00:14:28,171 -Of course not. -We'll talk about each other. 267 00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:30,979 -Okay. -l'd like to get to know you. 268 00:14:31,717 --> 00:14:33,548 l'd like to get to know you, too. 269 00:14:33,619 --> 00:14:36,417 Oh, my God, you're gonna give me another heart attack. 270 00:14:36,489 --> 00:14:38,286 Stop it, Mr. Weiner. 271 00:14:38,558 --> 00:14:40,992 -Oh, my God! -Oh, my goodness. 272 00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:43,324 You're so charming and beautiful. 273 00:14:43,396 --> 00:14:46,024 l don't know how that schlep ever married you. 274 00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:48,023 -Me neither. -No? 275 00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:53,666 You know what I mean. 276 00:14:53,739 --> 00:14:56,037 l think I do know what you mean. 277 00:14:56,108 --> 00:14:58,474 l mean it very sincerely. 278 00:15:01,747 --> 00:15:04,307 -You remember Barry's father? -l sure do. How you doing? 279 00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:05,577 -How are you? -Good. 280 00:15:05,651 --> 00:15:06,982 Good to see you. 281 00:15:07,053 --> 00:15:10,648 Please excuse me to the ladies' room. Larry, why don't you have a seat here? 282 00:15:10,723 --> 00:15:13,385 -And chat with Mr. Weiner. -You will be back, though? 283 00:15:13,459 --> 00:15:15,950 -l will be back. -'Cause he can't fill in for you. 284 00:15:16,028 --> 00:15:18,826 No, he can't. But he'll do his best. l'll be right back. 285 00:15:18,898 --> 00:15:21,128 -You'll come right back. -Yeah. 286 00:15:22,868 --> 00:15:24,233 Oh, my God. 287 00:15:25,071 --> 00:15:27,335 What a treat. Oh, God. 288 00:15:33,112 --> 00:15:35,376 ls it a custom in Japan... 289 00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:38,110 for a man to send... 290 00:15:39,185 --> 00:15:41,085 orchids to another man? 291 00:15:41,454 --> 00:15:44,287 Like a professional, someone who's a professional... 292 00:15:44,357 --> 00:15:47,986 a doctor or a dentist or an acupuncturist? 293 00:15:48,794 --> 00:15:51,661 Now, how the hell would I know what that means? 294 00:15:51,731 --> 00:15:53,858 l don't know what they do in Japan. 295 00:15:53,933 --> 00:15:57,096 They might take it up the ass for all I know in Japan. 296 00:15:57,169 --> 00:16:00,434 What are you asking me for? lt's a stupid question. 297 00:16:01,707 --> 00:16:05,507 -So, what are you doing these days? -l'm working on a.... 298 00:16:06,712 --> 00:16:09,237 Actually, a new show for Julia Louis-Dreyfus. 299 00:16:09,315 --> 00:16:11,283 -From Seinfeld? -Yeah. 300 00:16:11,417 --> 00:16:13,977 You got to be kidding me. 301 00:16:14,387 --> 00:16:17,481 -How do you know her? -l worked on the show. 302 00:16:17,823 --> 00:16:19,290 What show? Seinfeld? 303 00:16:19,358 --> 00:16:21,758 -Yeah, Seinfeld. -What did you do? 304 00:16:22,395 --> 00:16:25,990 -l was the co-creator. -You must have made a bundle. 305 00:16:26,299 --> 00:16:27,664 l did okay. 306 00:16:27,933 --> 00:16:31,562 -You're a lucky bastard. -l am, l'm very lucky. 307 00:16:31,637 --> 00:16:33,195 And l'll tell you something. 308 00:16:33,272 --> 00:16:37,902 l'm lucky that I had a father who was so supportive of me... 309 00:16:37,977 --> 00:16:40,343 because without him it never would have happened. 310 00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:42,904 l was working in a dry cleaner. l didn't tell him. 311 00:16:42,982 --> 00:16:45,815 l had no money, but I needed to support myself. 312 00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:48,786 And then one day, he found out about it.... 313 00:16:50,056 --> 00:16:53,423 Next thing I knew, he said to me, ''Listen, I got a lot of money. 314 00:16:53,492 --> 00:16:57,121 ''l'm gonna give you this money anyway, after I die. 315 00:16:57,196 --> 00:16:58,686 ''Let me give you some now.'' 316 00:16:58,764 --> 00:17:01,528 -Your father left you money before he died? -Yes, he did. 317 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,364 He gave me a quarter of what I was gonna get in the will... 318 00:17:04,437 --> 00:17:06,769 and that enabled me to go out and start writing. 319 00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:09,808 l never would have gotten Seinfeld if not for him. 320 00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:14,671 l was able to put food in the refrigerator, when he came over... 321 00:17:14,747 --> 00:17:16,305 he had great things to eat. 322 00:17:16,382 --> 00:17:19,818 l bought a Barcalounger, a big-screen TV with the money. 323 00:17:19,885 --> 00:17:22,718 When he'd come over to my house, he could sit and relax. 324 00:17:22,788 --> 00:17:26,383 Why should he wait until he's dead to give me the money? lt's ridiculous. 325 00:17:26,459 --> 00:17:29,257 Listen, put a sock in it. 326 00:17:29,328 --> 00:17:31,853 l got to move fast. Do you know of an estate lawyer? 327 00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:34,832 My lawyer's in Acapulco. l need an estate lawyer right away. 328 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:37,164 Yeah, I know a great estate lawyer. Joel Reynolds. 329 00:17:37,236 --> 00:17:38,533 l ran into him the other day. 330 00:17:38,604 --> 00:17:41,198 -Reynolds. Where is he? -He's in Santa Monica. 331 00:17:41,273 --> 00:17:42,604 Reynolds and McKay, he's great. 332 00:17:42,675 --> 00:17:44,438 -He's good with estates? -He's terrific. 333 00:17:44,510 --> 00:17:47,877 Probate and that kind of stuff? l gotta make a change right away... 334 00:17:47,947 --> 00:17:50,006 and I can't wait for my lawyer. 335 00:17:50,082 --> 00:17:53,142 Thank you for the lawyer. And I love your wife. 336 00:17:53,386 --> 00:17:55,616 What kind of change? What are you talking about? 337 00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:57,280 You'll find out. 338 00:18:02,762 --> 00:18:05,925 l don't know, Cheryl. Maybe he'll make a contribution. 339 00:18:05,998 --> 00:18:08,796 The worst that can happen is you'll fly to Mexico with him... 340 00:18:08,868 --> 00:18:10,961 and come back with a big check. 341 00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:16,835 Where are you meeting for lunch? That's the Japanese restaurant. 342 00:18:16,909 --> 00:18:19,241 l was there with Jeff last week. 343 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,043 Barry Weiner's here. 344 00:18:23,649 --> 00:18:26,584 All right, listen, get as much money as you can from him. 345 00:18:26,652 --> 00:18:28,847 Be charming. Okay, goodbye. 346 00:18:29,054 --> 00:18:31,818 What did you do? What the hell did you do? 347 00:18:31,891 --> 00:18:35,122 Did you tell my father some story about a dry cleaner? 348 00:18:35,995 --> 00:18:40,364 l told him that I worked in a dry cleaner, and my father found out about it... 349 00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:42,799 and instead of giving me the money after he died... 350 00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:44,665 he gave it to me before he died. 351 00:18:44,737 --> 00:18:47,137 Your little conspiracy with Cheryl worked. 352 00:18:47,206 --> 00:18:49,037 He cut me out of the will, Larry. 353 00:18:49,108 --> 00:18:52,600 He thinks that I put you up to it, and now he's cut me out of the will... 354 00:18:52,678 --> 00:18:54,976 and given all his money to NDRC. 355 00:18:55,047 --> 00:18:57,675 -NRDC. -NRDC, whatever the hell it is. 356 00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,412 Just like you and Cheryl planned, your little conspiracy. 357 00:19:00,486 --> 00:19:02,886 But why? When he left last night after the story... 358 00:19:02,955 --> 00:19:04,923 he said he was going to get a lawyer. 359 00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:07,925 -He wanted the name of a lawyer. -The lawyer that you gave him. 360 00:19:07,993 --> 00:19:09,984 He's down there right now, Larry. 361 00:19:10,062 --> 00:19:13,361 He is down there flushing my fucking life down the toilet. 362 00:19:13,432 --> 00:19:15,957 That's what he's doing now, thanks to your help. 363 00:19:16,035 --> 00:19:18,970 -Hello, Reynolds and McKay. -Okay, all right. 364 00:19:19,572 --> 00:19:20,639 Bye-bye. 365 00:19:21,307 --> 00:19:23,332 Hello, sir, Joel Reynolds. 366 00:19:24,643 --> 00:19:27,111 -You're Joel Reynolds? -Yes, I am. 367 00:19:27,179 --> 00:19:30,307 -Would you like to have a seat, sir? -Yeah, in a minute. 368 00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:32,881 l'm a little puzzled. 369 00:19:33,285 --> 00:19:36,379 What's this outfit? ls it a Halloween party, or what? 370 00:19:36,455 --> 00:19:39,822 -l know, it's Casual Friday. -Casual Friday? What does that mean? 371 00:19:39,892 --> 00:19:41,985 That means we just dress like we would at home. 372 00:19:42,061 --> 00:19:45,292 -But you're not at home. -No, but it is Casual Friday, so.... 373 00:19:45,364 --> 00:19:49,596 l know, you told me that already. What do you do on Casual Friday? 374 00:19:49,668 --> 00:19:53,604 We just come in, do our work. But we dress casually. 375 00:19:53,939 --> 00:19:56,703 -l don't like it. -lt's just one day of the week. 376 00:19:56,842 --> 00:20:00,300 l don't give a damn if it's half a day a week. l don't like it. 377 00:20:00,646 --> 00:20:03,342 l'm here to change my will. A lot of money is involved. 378 00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:06,248 -lt's very important to me. -We wouldn't treat you casually. 379 00:20:06,318 --> 00:20:07,979 Then why the hell you dress that way? 380 00:20:08,053 --> 00:20:11,420 l want you to be on cutting edge whenever you're handling my business. 381 00:20:11,490 --> 00:20:13,583 -This is cutting edge. -l don't need this crap. 382 00:20:13,659 --> 00:20:18,323 You look like a fucking cowboy. You're J.R., Joel Reynolds, right? 383 00:20:18,397 --> 00:20:20,763 -Look, we-- -You belong in Dallas, not LA. 384 00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:22,300 l'm sorry, please. 385 00:20:22,368 --> 00:20:26,771 Yeah, you should be sorry because you just lost my account. 386 00:20:27,206 --> 00:20:29,504 You go wrangle somebody else's. 387 00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:32,810 Thank you very much. Son of a bitch. 388 00:20:32,878 --> 00:20:35,676 lf you come back on a Monday or a Tuesday.... 389 00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:39,751 You gotta talk to him and tell him I didn't put you up to that. 390 00:20:39,818 --> 00:20:42,912 You have to convince him. l'm totally screwed. 391 00:20:43,656 --> 00:20:45,453 Wait, hold on. 392 00:20:45,991 --> 00:20:48,425 This is Kathleen calling from Dr. Muriyama's office. 393 00:20:48,494 --> 00:20:50,985 I'm calling to confirm your acupuncture appointment. 394 00:20:51,063 --> 00:20:52,724 No, I can't do it. 395 00:20:52,798 --> 00:20:55,392 Okay, the doctor just wants to know how you're feeling. 396 00:20:55,467 --> 00:20:57,367 -l'm better. -That's good. 397 00:20:58,437 --> 00:21:00,928 Would you like to schedule another session? 398 00:21:03,008 --> 00:21:05,875 -No. Not now. -Okay, thank you, Mr. David. 399 00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:07,337 Okay. 400 00:21:08,447 --> 00:21:10,915 You got to get down there. You got to do something. 401 00:21:10,983 --> 00:21:15,511 He's supposed to have lunch with my wife at this Japanese restaurant later. 402 00:21:15,588 --> 00:21:17,886 You're the only one that can fix it, you know? 403 00:21:17,957 --> 00:21:20,255 -You have to talk to him. -Shit. 404 00:21:20,993 --> 00:21:22,654 l was just trying to be helpful. 405 00:21:26,699 --> 00:21:29,429 Mr. Weiner, I don't think l should have anymore sake. 406 00:21:29,501 --> 00:21:31,560 -No, you should. -Maybe after. 407 00:21:31,637 --> 00:21:34,606 Because it's a wonderful preface to a great Japanese meal. 408 00:21:34,673 --> 00:21:36,004 -Come on. -Okay. 409 00:21:36,075 --> 00:21:40,307 -l think we should go ahead and order then. -We will order, certainly. 410 00:21:41,447 --> 00:21:45,213 But I have some news for you. First, a little slice. 411 00:21:45,351 --> 00:21:46,511 Larry? 412 00:21:49,355 --> 00:21:54,088 -What are you doing here? -l just came to apologize for last night... 413 00:21:54,159 --> 00:21:57,060 and just to let you know that your son did not put me up... 414 00:21:57,129 --> 00:21:59,859 to say any of that stuff that I said to you about.... 415 00:21:59,932 --> 00:22:01,866 -He didn't? -No, he didn't. 416 00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:05,734 And he shouldn't be punished as a result of what I did on.... 417 00:22:25,891 --> 00:22:27,722 Why, you shit.... 418 00:22:44,009 --> 00:22:46,807 -Nice to see you. -Nice to see you. Hello. 419 00:22:46,912 --> 00:22:49,745 Hi, Carol. l'm so sorry. 420 00:22:52,384 --> 00:22:54,375 Everybody, this is Larry David. 421 00:22:54,687 --> 00:22:57,155 We used to write together on Saturday Night Live. 422 00:22:57,222 --> 00:22:58,382 A long time ago. 423 00:22:58,457 --> 00:23:00,857 -Here's his wife, Cheryl. -Hi. 424 00:23:01,593 --> 00:23:05,029 And this is Jeff Greene. Jeff used to be my manager. 425 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,030 So sudden, unexpected. 426 00:23:15,641 --> 00:23:18,701 Larry, you remember my cousin, Doug, from the party, Thursday? 427 00:23:18,777 --> 00:23:20,836 -Sure. Hi, Doug. -Hi. 428 00:23:22,047 --> 00:23:25,039 Larry was the last person to see him alive. 429 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,418 -Technically, it was the waiter. -So, you're the one? 430 00:23:37,696 --> 00:23:40,460 -So, what do you do? -l'm a button man. 431 00:23:40,966 --> 00:23:44,129 -Button man? -Yes, I sell buttons to the cut-up trade. 432 00:23:44,203 --> 00:23:48,435 -Garment manufacturers. -l got a bellybutton story for you. 433 00:23:49,441 --> 00:23:53,468 My best friend had a baby 15 years ago, and I was the godfather. 434 00:23:53,545 --> 00:23:56,912 l was in the delivery room, he asked me to cut the umbilical cord... 435 00:23:56,982 --> 00:23:59,348 and I don't know, l kind of botched it somehow... 436 00:23:59,418 --> 00:24:01,545 and mangled the whole bellybutton... 437 00:24:01,620 --> 00:24:04,919 and now the kid won't even talk to me, it's.... 438 00:24:05,557 --> 00:24:07,787 That's a sad story. Excuse me. 439 00:24:11,096 --> 00:24:12,256 Larry. 440 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,961 -Thank you. -Back up, man, you're right in my face. 441 00:24:19,037 --> 00:24:20,436 -Okay. -What? 442 00:24:21,774 --> 00:24:25,540 There it is. I told you. Don't cash it for week. 443 00:24:26,545 --> 00:24:27,876 This is a little awkward. 444 00:24:27,946 --> 00:24:31,143 l told you you'd get it as soon as he died, and you made it happen. 445 00:24:31,216 --> 00:24:33,480 -l didn't make anything happen. -You kind of did. 446 00:24:33,552 --> 00:24:36,749 That's just great, Larry, you got your money back. 447 00:24:37,289 --> 00:24:39,780 -What? -The check. 448 00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:44,056 What check? What are you talking about? 449 00:24:44,396 --> 00:24:46,557 Larry lent Barry $5,000. 450 00:24:46,765 --> 00:24:49,063 The condition was, when his dad passed away... 451 00:24:49,134 --> 00:24:52,365 -he would get the money back. -Excuse me, there was no condition. 452 00:24:52,437 --> 00:24:55,770 l get it. You took $5,000. You're a bounty hunter. 453 00:24:55,841 --> 00:24:59,538 -You murdered my uncle for $5,000. -Come on, please. 454 00:25:00,345 --> 00:25:03,542 -You knew he had a heart condition. -l didn't-- 455 00:25:03,615 --> 00:25:05,583 Why did you have to throw the water at him? 456 00:25:05,651 --> 00:25:08,552 -l didn't throw the water at him, the waiter-- -You're lying. 457 00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:11,714 The waiter threw the water at him. I didn't.... 458 00:25:13,158 --> 00:25:15,683 We should get.... Jeff! Let's go. 459 00:25:15,894 --> 00:25:19,694 You're not going anywhere. You killed my uncle, you murderer! 460 00:25:20,566 --> 00:25:22,431 -Stop it! -My neck. 461 00:25:22,501 --> 00:25:23,593 Let go of him! 462 00:25:46,391 --> 00:25:47,949 -Larry-San. -Hi. 463 00:25:48,961 --> 00:25:51,987 -Who was that? -l got lucky. My wife. 464 00:25:52,965 --> 00:25:54,557 -Your wife? -Yes. 465 00:25:56,902 --> 00:25:59,666 How do you like that? Good for you. 466 00:25:59,738 --> 00:26:02,138 Thank you very much. How are you? 467 00:26:03,175 --> 00:26:06,611 Somebody got me in a headlock. l am much worse. 468 00:26:06,812 --> 00:26:10,145 -l think we can do something about that. -You're a very confident man. 469 00:26:10,215 --> 00:26:11,512 -Yeah? -You really are. 470 00:26:11,583 --> 00:26:14,950 Say, would you like to make another deal on that one? 471 00:26:15,687 --> 00:26:17,518 What do you mean, another one? 472 00:26:17,589 --> 00:26:20,456 You already owe me $5,000 for the other one. 473 00:26:20,525 --> 00:26:22,755 Would you like a chance to get it back, maybe? 474 00:26:22,828 --> 00:26:23,988 How do I owe you $5,000? 475 00:26:24,062 --> 00:26:26,929 l don't owe you $5,000. What are you talking about? 476 00:26:26,999 --> 00:26:29,866 My receptionist called you and talked to you on the phone. 477 00:26:29,935 --> 00:26:33,894 You told her, and she told me, that you said that you were better. 478 00:26:36,608 --> 00:26:38,075 l said.... 479 00:26:38,143 --> 00:26:41,374 Yeah, she asked me how I was feeling. l said, ''Better.'' 480 00:26:41,546 --> 00:26:44,515 Better than before, not 100%% better... 481 00:26:44,583 --> 00:26:46,676 not all better, but better. 482 00:26:46,752 --> 00:26:51,086 Better? After I treated you, you were better, right? 483 00:26:51,256 --> 00:26:55,920 ln English, ''better'' doesn't mean better, completely better. I don't need a.... 484 00:26:56,395 --> 00:26:59,455 There's a confusion here, a language confusion. 485 00:26:59,531 --> 00:27:02,056 Better is not all better, it's better. 486 00:27:02,134 --> 00:27:05,865 Larry-San, wait a minute, you said better. 487 00:27:05,938 --> 00:27:08,839 Better is better, you said you were better. 488 00:27:10,542 --> 00:27:12,203 Listen, Larry-San... 489 00:27:13,011 --> 00:27:16,242 this will cause me some great shame with my family. 490 00:27:16,315 --> 00:27:20,615 Everyone knows about this agreement. My employees, my business. 491 00:27:21,453 --> 00:27:23,921 We made an agreement as men of honor. 492 00:27:23,989 --> 00:27:27,117 You owe me $5,000. I made you feel better! 493 00:27:30,195 --> 00:27:33,460 So, how do you intend to pay? 494 00:27:41,239 --> 00:27:43,730 l have a check... 495 00:27:44,710 --> 00:27:47,270 made out to me for $5,000. 496 00:27:47,612 --> 00:27:49,807 l can endorse it over to you. 497 00:27:50,816 --> 00:27:53,614 -Don't cash it for a week. -For a week? 498 00:27:54,553 --> 00:27:57,681 Of course, l'll need a picture lD. 499 00:28:03,061 --> 00:28:06,394 So, I got the orchids. 500 00:28:09,901 --> 00:28:12,893 They were so nice. Thank you for sending them. 501 00:28:15,841 --> 00:28:20,039 Something you do for all your patients? Send them orchids? 502 00:28:23,682 --> 00:28:25,809 Ancient Japanese custom.