1
00:00:03,641 --> 00:00:05,506
ADULT SHELDON: It should
come as no surprise

2
00:00:05,509 --> 00:00:08,298
that the very first
grade I ever received

3
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,924
was a "super-duper."

4
00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:12,615
Granted it was for
counting spots on a ladybug,

5
00:00:12,618 --> 00:00:14,704
but still, I nailed it.

6
00:00:14,707 --> 00:00:17,263
Even as the difficulty
of assignments grew,

7
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:20,189
I maintained the same
level of excellence.

8
00:00:20,192 --> 00:00:22,043
INGRAM: Good job, Cooper.

9
00:00:22,046 --> 00:00:23,700
That's just sad, Cooper.

10
00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:28,348
ADULT SHELDON: In every
class, in every subject,

11
00:00:28,351 --> 00:00:29,751
I was perfect.

12
00:00:29,754 --> 00:00:33,095
Which is why this day hit
me like a ton of bricks.

13
00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:39,939
MEEMAW: Hey, moonpie.

14
00:00:39,942 --> 00:00:41,173
Ready to go?

15
00:00:41,176 --> 00:00:42,723
Look at this.

16
00:00:42,726 --> 00:00:44,900
95? That's terrific.

17
00:00:44,903 --> 00:00:47,168
No. If it was terrific, it would say 100

18
00:00:47,171 --> 00:00:49,214
with the word "terrific" next to it.

19
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,665
Don't sweat it, you'll
get 100 next time.

20
00:00:51,668 --> 00:00:53,277
But I should have gotten it this time.

21
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,208
Dr. Sturgis made a mistake.

22
00:00:56,958 --> 00:00:58,627
And we're sweatin' it.

23
00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:02,725
Dr. Sturgis, I believe you've
made an error grading my test.

24
00:01:02,851 --> 00:01:04,247
Let me see.

25
00:01:05,653 --> 00:01:10,378
No, you didn't calculate
using Maxwell's equations.

26
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:13,126
Maxwell's equation my sweet patootie!

27
00:01:13,129 --> 00:01:15,078
- [MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO]
- You like Willie Nelson?

28
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,037
That would require
knowing the permeability

29
00:01:17,039 --> 00:01:18,639
of free space and natural units.

30
00:01:18,642 --> 00:01:19,808
- [MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES]
- I suppose...

31
00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,606
I like Willie Nelson.

32
00:01:21,608 --> 00:01:24,174
...an electric field, but
that would still require...

33
00:01:24,176 --> 00:01:27,090
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

34
00:01:27,092 --> 00:01:29,880
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

35
00:01:29,883 --> 00:01:32,405
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

36
00:01:32,408 --> 00:01:35,267
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

37
00:01:44,977 --> 00:01:46,194
Morning, Peg.

38
00:01:46,197 --> 00:01:47,631
I need to run Sunday's bulletin

39
00:01:47,657 --> 00:01:51,256
- by Pastor Jeff. Is he in?
- [JEFF COUGHING]

40
00:01:51,287 --> 00:01:52,387
Yep.

41
00:01:52,390 --> 00:01:53,575
[COUGHING CONTINUES]

42
00:01:53,578 --> 00:01:55,219
Is he coming down with somethin'?

43
00:01:55,244 --> 00:01:57,650
Yep. [COUGHS]

44
00:01:59,478 --> 00:02:01,355
Oh, my, are you sick, too?

45
00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:04,123
[COUGHING]: Never better.

46
00:02:05,201 --> 00:02:06,325
Okay.

47
00:02:07,803 --> 00:02:08,811
Hello.

48
00:02:08,836 --> 00:02:10,454
Oh, hey, Mary, come on in.

49
00:02:11,055 --> 00:02:13,067
- [SNIFFLES]
- I-I'm fine here.

50
00:02:13,069 --> 00:02:15,199
Um, I have Sunday's bulletin

51
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,220
for your approval. And
I wanted to ask about

52
00:02:17,223 --> 00:02:19,334
ordering the palms for Palm Sunday.

53
00:02:19,336 --> 00:02:21,747
I know it's early, but
as you remember last year,

54
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:24,207
we waited too long and
First United Methodist

55
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,724
snatched up all the perky ones.

56
00:02:25,727 --> 00:02:26,798
[SNIFFLES, GROANS]

57
00:02:27,431 --> 00:02:28,437
Ooh.

58
00:02:28,462 --> 00:02:31,091
Should you be here right
now? You look terrible.

59
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,419
I feel terrible.

60
00:02:32,472 --> 00:02:35,425
Well, then go home, let
your wife take care of you.

61
00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,510
You'd think she'd do that, but no.

62
00:02:37,674 --> 00:02:40,224
Ooh. Well, you should
at least go see a doctor.

63
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:43,575
I can't. The Walker couple
is coming in for counseling.

64
00:02:43,738 --> 00:02:47,057
If you rescheduled, I'm
sure they'd understand.

65
00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:49,328
Hey, what if you did it?

66
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,701
Marriage counseling?

67
00:02:52,091 --> 00:02:55,142
Don't you need some sort
of training for that?

68
00:02:55,145 --> 00:02:57,198
Nah, you just listen, uh,

69
00:02:57,223 --> 00:02:59,238
give 'em a couple prayers,
send 'em on their way.

70
00:02:59,316 --> 00:03:02,642
- Okay, if you really want me to.
- I do.

71
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:06,669
In fact, for the rest of
the day, you're in charge.

72
00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:09,993
All right? The bulletins,
the palms, it's all you.

73
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,421
Well, all right, um,

74
00:03:12,446 --> 00:03:14,903
but only if you promise to
go home and get some rest.

75
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:19,769
Sure. Home, movie theater,
food court, somewhere.

76
00:03:19,995 --> 00:03:23,433
[GROANING]

77
00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:27,483
Today we're gonna
work on interior angles

78
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,340
of a convex polygon.

79
00:03:29,974 --> 00:03:31,748
Georgie, where's your brother?

80
00:03:31,930 --> 00:03:34,259
I don't know, do you
really want him here?

81
00:03:35,051 --> 00:03:37,579
Convex polygons are polygons...

82
00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:40,720
Sheldon, why aren't
you in second period?

83
00:03:40,722 --> 00:03:42,670
I'm working on this math problem.

84
00:03:42,811 --> 00:03:44,985
I think you might be the
first person in history

85
00:03:44,987 --> 00:03:47,234
who's ever cut class to do math.

86
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,119
The irony wasn't lost on me.

87
00:03:49,121 --> 00:03:52,119
Oh, hey, 95. Good job.

88
00:03:52,721 --> 00:03:54,616
Really? I'm here every day

89
00:03:54,619 --> 00:03:56,275
and it's like you don't know me at all.

90
00:03:56,626 --> 00:03:58,087
Oh, okay. Um...

91
00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:02,568
aw, 95, too bad.

92
00:04:02,831 --> 00:04:03,904
There we go.

93
00:04:09,473 --> 00:04:11,700
Anything you can tell
me about the Walkers?

94
00:04:11,703 --> 00:04:14,405
Not really, just a couple of newlyweds

95
00:04:14,407 --> 00:04:15,761
trying to figure it out.

96
00:04:15,898 --> 00:04:17,505
Well, marriage is hard.

97
00:04:17,661 --> 00:04:19,586
- I'll never know.
- Oh...

98
00:04:19,589 --> 00:04:20,614
don't think that way.

99
00:04:20,617 --> 00:04:22,559
I'm sure there's someone
out there for you.

100
00:04:22,651 --> 00:04:24,128
Oh, no, that's not the problem.

101
00:04:24,479 --> 00:04:27,420
I just don't want to
waste this on just one guy.

102
00:04:27,732 --> 00:04:29,255
Sorry we're late.

103
00:04:29,258 --> 00:04:30,943
Someone couldn't decide on a hat.

104
00:04:30,946 --> 00:04:32,755
- Sorry.
- Oh, that's all right.

105
00:04:32,758 --> 00:04:36,165
Hi, I'm Mary Cooper, I'm gonna
be doing your session today.

106
00:04:36,425 --> 00:04:38,278
Oh, what happened to Pastor Jeff?

107
00:04:38,281 --> 00:04:40,801
He's out sick and asked me to fill in.

108
00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:44,305
- Oh, okay.
- But don't worry,

109
00:04:44,307 --> 00:04:47,012
you're in good hands. I've
been married for 15 years

110
00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:48,406
and whatever you're going through,

111
00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:50,561
I'm sure I've been
through it several times.

112
00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:51,596
PEG: Francine?

113
00:04:51,729 --> 00:04:54,026
I dig your hat. [COUGHS]

114
00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:56,419
So when we first started dating,

115
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:59,102
he would plan these elaborate
picnics by the lake...

116
00:04:59,104 --> 00:05:01,806
You know, like a real picnic
with the red and white blanket.

117
00:05:01,831 --> 00:05:03,616
Oh, gingham, sweetie,
it's called gingham.

118
00:05:03,641 --> 00:05:04,732
Yeah.

119
00:05:04,906 --> 00:05:06,481
And after you got married,

120
00:05:06,484 --> 00:05:08,708
all the picnics and wooing ended?

121
00:05:08,711 --> 00:05:10,497
No, no, not at all. No.

122
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,588
In fact, Elliot's more dotin' than ever.

123
00:05:12,617 --> 00:05:14,613
He knows that tulips are my favorite,

124
00:05:14,638 --> 00:05:16,467
so every week there's
a fresh-cut bouquet

125
00:05:16,469 --> 00:05:17,622
on my nightstand.

126
00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:19,929
I own the flower shop
across from the post office.

127
00:05:19,932 --> 00:05:23,125
Well, y'all seem hunky-dory.

128
00:05:23,128 --> 00:05:24,819
I'm confused, what's the issue?

129
00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:30,680
Well, um, we're having
trouble in the, you know...

130
00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:33,093
[WHISPERS]: The bedroom.

131
00:05:33,712 --> 00:05:36,052
Oh.

132
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:38,791
- [DIALING]
- Sheldon, what are you doing here?

133
00:05:39,518 --> 00:05:42,499
They wouldn't let me use the
phone in the principal's office.

134
00:05:42,524 --> 00:05:44,060
- [LINE RINGING]
- Who are you calling?

135
00:05:44,062 --> 00:05:46,450
Dr. Sturgis... It's a math emergency.

136
00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:47,666
[SCOFFS] Don't you think

137
00:05:47,669 --> 00:05:49,339
you should've asked my permission first?

138
00:05:49,676 --> 00:05:51,202
It's ringing. Yes or no?

139
00:05:52,679 --> 00:05:54,201
You know what? I don't care.

140
00:05:55,286 --> 00:05:56,317
STURGIS: Hello?

141
00:05:56,567 --> 00:06:00,155
Dr. Sturgis, this is Sheldon.
You're wrong and I can prove it.

142
00:06:01,249 --> 00:06:02,468
Is that so?

143
00:06:03,195 --> 00:06:04,229
It is so.

144
00:06:05,737 --> 00:06:08,822
All right, little man, bring it on.

145
00:06:19,054 --> 00:06:21,195
Go ahead, Sheldon, I'm all ears.

146
00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:23,686
Well, when I'm done, you're
going to be all tears.

147
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:25,470
Okay, fellas, let's keep it civil.

148
00:06:25,495 --> 00:06:28,472
You claim that the only way
to calculate the magnetic field

149
00:06:28,497 --> 00:06:31,422
in QCD units is using
Maxwell's equations,

150
00:06:31,447 --> 00:06:33,897
but you're completely
discrediting energy density.

151
00:06:33,922 --> 00:06:35,103
But you're still off.

152
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,227
By a factor of 3.54.

153
00:06:37,252 --> 00:06:38,843
Which would seem insignificant,

154
00:06:38,868 --> 00:06:40,305
but when examined closely,

155
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,679
you realize that it's the
square root of four times pi.

156
00:06:42,704 --> 00:06:43,929
Your point being?

157
00:06:43,985 --> 00:06:46,270
Rationalized and non-rationalized units

158
00:06:46,295 --> 00:06:47,953
differ by four times pi...

159
00:06:47,978 --> 00:06:49,891
Anyone with a basic
knowledge of electric

160
00:06:49,916 --> 00:06:51,446
and magnetic fields would know that.

161
00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:53,485
I'm lost. Are we still being civil?

162
00:06:53,589 --> 00:06:55,088
It's all right, Connie.

163
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,856
Sheldon's trying to
justify his shortcut.

164
00:06:57,964 --> 00:06:59,048
Not a shortcut,

165
00:06:59,122 --> 00:07:00,800
a more elegant and efficient method

166
00:07:00,825 --> 00:07:02,520
to achieve the correct answer.

167
00:07:02,808 --> 00:07:05,746
Well, I applaud the effort, young man.

168
00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:09,093
Don't treat me like a child,
treat me like a colleague.

169
00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:13,993
Fine. This is the stupidest
thing I've ever seen.

170
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,811
How could you say that?! [CRYING]

171
00:07:18,836 --> 00:07:20,145
What are you doing?

172
00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:21,990
Treating him like a colleague.

173
00:07:22,015 --> 00:07:23,800
Do you and your
colleagues make each other

174
00:07:23,825 --> 00:07:25,787
run out of the room crying like that?

175
00:07:26,299 --> 00:07:27,765
Sometimes.

176
00:07:27,790 --> 00:07:31,265
But we run slower, 'cause we're old.

177
00:07:34,129 --> 00:07:36,737
And then he said, "For
the rest of the day,

178
00:07:36,762 --> 00:07:38,333
- you're in charge."
- Mm.

179
00:07:38,642 --> 00:07:41,153
Those were his exact
words. Can you believe it?

180
00:07:41,178 --> 00:07:42,184
"You're in charge."

181
00:07:42,209 --> 00:07:43,964
- Well, that's great.
- And thanks to me,

182
00:07:43,989 --> 00:07:46,990
this year United Methodist
is gonna get stuck

183
00:07:47,015 --> 00:07:48,757
with all the limp palms.

184
00:07:49,066 --> 00:07:51,180
Well, I don't know what
that means, but good for you.

185
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:52,733
I even did some marriage counseling

186
00:07:52,758 --> 00:07:54,364
for a couple of young newlyweds.

187
00:07:54,584 --> 00:07:56,235
Ooh, what kind of trouble they having?

188
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:59,166
Oh, it's all confidential;
I really can't say.

189
00:07:59,231 --> 00:08:00,509
Well, I don't need specifics,

190
00:08:00,534 --> 00:08:02,093
just, you know, general terms.

191
00:08:03,746 --> 00:08:05,141
They're having sexual problems.

192
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,347
Really?

193
00:08:06,425 --> 00:08:07,535
Newlyweds?

194
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:08,916
But we all prayed on it

195
00:08:08,941 --> 00:08:11,227
and then the answer
came clear as a bell.

196
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:12,796
Yeah?

197
00:08:12,957 --> 00:08:15,662
The husband is under
a lot of stress at work

198
00:08:15,687 --> 00:08:18,374
and it's diminishing
his natural desires.

199
00:08:18,399 --> 00:08:20,435
Huh. What kind of work does he do

200
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:21,894
he's got so much stress?

201
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:25,400
He owns that flower shop
across from the post office.

202
00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:28,280
Flower shop. Huh.

203
00:08:28,305 --> 00:08:31,014
You've seen it. It's
called The Pretty Petunia.

204
00:08:32,818 --> 00:08:33,892
Huh.

205
00:08:43,502 --> 00:08:44,700
GEORGE SR.: So, Sheldon,

206
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,160
you and Dr. Sturgis figure out

207
00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:47,417
your math emergency?

208
00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:49,480
I'd rather not talk about it.

209
00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:50,730
Me neither.

210
00:08:51,249 --> 00:08:53,119
[PHONE RINGING]

211
00:08:53,121 --> 00:08:54,499
That's probably for me.

212
00:08:54,524 --> 00:08:56,387
I'm really getting popular.

213
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,324
What's a math emergency?

214
00:08:58,529 --> 00:09:00,428
- That's when things don't add up.
- [CHUCKLES]

215
00:09:01,129 --> 00:09:02,154
MISSY: Hello?

216
00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:04,787
Oh, come on, guys, that was a good one.

217
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,767
MISSY: Mom, it's Pastor Jeff!

218
00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:08,765
Mm, excuse me.

219
00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,432
To answer your question, Georgie,

220
00:09:10,457 --> 00:09:12,337
it's when a scientist is too immature

221
00:09:12,362 --> 00:09:14,011
to admit when he's wrong.

222
00:09:14,739 --> 00:09:16,301
Maybe you're too immature.

223
00:09:16,326 --> 00:09:18,041
MEEMAW: Gentlemen, please.

224
00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:21,729
I'm sorry, but when someone
with way less experience

225
00:09:21,754 --> 00:09:23,406
accuses me of not knowing

226
00:09:23,431 --> 00:09:26,281
what I'm talking about,
my hackles are up.

227
00:09:26,343 --> 00:09:27,357
What's a hackle?

228
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,433
Well, if he's wrong,
then teach him to be right

229
00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:32,012
instead of berating him
like a big ol' jackass.

230
00:09:32,193 --> 00:09:33,807
That's very hurtful!

231
00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:43,473
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Well, how 'bout that?

232
00:09:43,475 --> 00:09:45,045
They do run slower.

233
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,664
Good news! I get to go visit a shut-in.

234
00:09:49,364 --> 00:09:51,199
What the hell is going on today?

235
00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,679
GILFORD: It's open.

236
00:09:59,703 --> 00:10:00,909
[DOOR OPENS]

237
00:10:00,942 --> 00:10:04,077
[TV PLAYING]

238
00:10:04,102 --> 00:10:06,554
[ON TV] Haven't you
learned that I

239
00:10:06,579 --> 00:10:07,835
know nothing, I see nothing...

240
00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:09,991
Hello? Mr. Gilford?

241
00:10:10,415 --> 00:10:11,499
Who are you?

242
00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:15,832
Hi, I'm Mary Cooper from the church.

243
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,428
Pastor Jeff is out sick,

244
00:10:17,453 --> 00:10:19,322
so he asked me to
bring over your dinner.

245
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,755
- Steak fingers?
- With extra gravy.

246
00:10:23,552 --> 00:10:25,112
Where's my Mr. Pibb?

247
00:10:25,342 --> 00:10:26,963
Oh, right here.

248
00:10:28,604 --> 00:10:30,038
You want me to open it for you?

249
00:10:30,211 --> 00:10:31,577
I've got hands.

250
00:10:32,686 --> 00:10:35,221
Maybe while you eat
we could chat a little.

251
00:10:35,223 --> 00:10:38,366
I'm old, I'm alone, I'm gonna die soon.

252
00:10:38,391 --> 00:10:39,574
There, we've chatted.

253
00:10:40,565 --> 00:10:41,579
Okay.

254
00:10:42,626 --> 00:10:45,019
If you're not in the
mood for conversation,

255
00:10:45,054 --> 00:10:46,936
maybe there's something
else I could do for you.

256
00:10:48,236 --> 00:10:50,525
Haven't had a sponge bath in a while.

257
00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:55,077
Does Pastor Jeff give you a sponge bath?

258
00:10:55,324 --> 00:10:56,413
Sure does.

259
00:10:58,070 --> 00:10:59,174
Mr. Gilford.

260
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,205
No...

261
00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,290
- Lights out?
- In a minute.

262
00:11:09,624 --> 00:11:12,778
[SIGHS] I may not understand
exactly what's going on

263
00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:15,618
with you and Dr. Sturgis, but
you can't be rude to an adult.

264
00:11:15,821 --> 00:11:16,891
What if they're wrong?

265
00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:19,900
Doesn't matter. There are plenty
of stupid people in the world,

266
00:11:19,925 --> 00:11:22,587
but when they're older than you,
you got to show them respect.

267
00:11:24,811 --> 00:11:28,638
I understand, sir. Thank you
for your incredibly wise advice.

268
00:11:30,137 --> 00:11:31,161
Okay.

269
00:11:37,018 --> 00:11:39,981
Did you just call Dad stupid
without calling him stupid?

270
00:11:40,171 --> 00:11:41,191
Yes.

271
00:11:50,611 --> 00:11:52,236
Here, let me get that.

272
00:11:53,048 --> 00:11:55,137
And, uh, while I'm cleaning up,

273
00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:57,301
I could also tackle some of, um...

274
00:11:57,567 --> 00:12:00,481
Don't touch anything!
I like it the way it is.

275
00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:03,508
Could I at least open a
window, get you some fresh air?

276
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:07,387
It's not necessary.
I've got some right here.

277
00:12:07,592 --> 00:12:09,568
[INHALES DEEPLY]

278
00:12:10,788 --> 00:12:12,682
Mind if I make some room to sit?

279
00:12:13,055 --> 00:12:14,139
You're staying?

280
00:12:14,164 --> 00:12:17,059
Yes, I'm staying. I'm
here to keep you company.

281
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:20,737
Why? So you'll look like
some kind of Good Samaritan?

282
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,514
Because God calls on us
to serve our fellow man.

283
00:12:24,539 --> 00:12:27,600
Romans 12:13, "Share with
the Lord's people who are..."

284
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:29,065
What are you doing?

285
00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:30,952
Quoting scripture.

286
00:12:31,028 --> 00:12:32,809
Well, I don't want to hear that.

287
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,526
You don't want to hear the Bible?

288
00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:35,985
Not from some woman.

289
00:12:36,642 --> 00:12:38,819
- Excuse me?
- Where have you been?

290
00:12:38,844 --> 00:12:40,973
Women don't preach in our church.

291
00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:44,161
Well, I'm not in our church,
I'm in your living room,

292
00:12:44,186 --> 00:12:46,541
which is, by the way, disgusting.

293
00:12:53,036 --> 00:12:55,052
I'm sorry I called you a jackass.

294
00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:59,359
[CHUCKLES]
A "big, old jackass."

295
00:12:59,590 --> 00:13:02,737
But it's okay, I deserved it.

296
00:13:03,076 --> 00:13:04,729
Don't be too hard on yourself.

297
00:13:05,122 --> 00:13:07,768
Sheldon's always been
difficult to deal with.

298
00:13:07,793 --> 00:13:10,061
I'm not upset that he's difficult,

299
00:13:11,272 --> 00:13:13,495
I'm upset that he's right.

300
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:15,321
Really?

301
00:13:16,134 --> 00:13:18,094
And you're just now saying something?

302
00:13:18,119 --> 00:13:22,472
Energy density, rationalized
and non-rationalized units,

303
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,360
I can't believe I missed it.

304
00:13:24,454 --> 00:13:27,948
Well, like you said,
everybody makes a mistake.

305
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,561
But it was so obvious.

306
00:13:30,265 --> 00:13:32,360
A younger me would've seen it.

307
00:13:33,326 --> 00:13:36,109
I think I'm... losing a step.

308
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,456
You're not alone.

309
00:13:37,585 --> 00:13:40,804
The other night I had bingo for
five moves, didn't even know it.

310
00:13:40,829 --> 00:13:43,482
[LAUGHS] Were you drinking?

311
00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,604
It's bingo, of course I was drinking.

312
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,849
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- Don't worry about it.

313
00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:51,630
We'll lose a step together.

314
00:13:55,629 --> 00:13:57,044
Thank you, Bonnie.

315
00:13:58,309 --> 00:14:01,434
You see that? I made a joke about it.

316
00:14:02,135 --> 00:14:04,699
- Never do it again.
- Yes, ma'am.

317
00:14:10,143 --> 00:14:12,202
- Hey, Sheldon.
- Hello.

318
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,274
You get that test problem sorted out?

319
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:18,422
No, I'm afraid Dr. Sturgis and
I are still at a math impasse.

320
00:14:18,447 --> 00:14:21,707
- Oh, I hate those.
- Thank you for asking.

321
00:14:21,732 --> 00:14:24,566
I appreciate it. And how are you doing?

322
00:14:25,394 --> 00:14:27,118
Since when are you interested?

323
00:14:27,143 --> 00:14:29,603
My father told me I should
be kind to old people.

324
00:14:30,771 --> 00:14:32,974
How old do you think I am?

325
00:14:33,718 --> 00:14:36,547
My father also told me if
a woman ever asks you that,

326
00:14:36,572 --> 00:14:37,589
it's a trap.

327
00:14:37,941 --> 00:14:39,812
Hm. Smart man.

328
00:14:40,289 --> 00:14:42,062
But I'll say 53.

329
00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:54,909
Peg, we got any more of
those fancy binder clips?

330
00:14:54,956 --> 00:14:56,434
Bottom right drawer.

331
00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,100
Oh! Um, hi.

332
00:15:00,103 --> 00:15:01,509
Y...

333
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,924
You're back. Uh, feeling better?

334
00:15:03,954 --> 00:15:04,967
No.

335
00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:07,787
Then what are you doing here?
Why aren't you home in bed?

336
00:15:07,812 --> 00:15:10,317
Because not everybody has a
happy marriage, Mary, okay?

337
00:15:11,082 --> 00:15:12,176
Sorry.

338
00:15:13,459 --> 00:15:15,045
How's everything going around here?

339
00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:18,444
Really well. I had a lovely
session with the Walkers.

340
00:15:18,469 --> 00:15:22,140
I think that they're gonna be
fruitful and multiplying soon.

341
00:15:22,165 --> 00:15:23,154
[CHUCKLES]

342
00:15:23,179 --> 00:15:24,238
And, um,

343
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:28,444
I had a visit with our
shut-in, Mr. Gilford.

344
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,897
He's quite the character, isn't he?

345
00:15:29,922 --> 00:15:32,735
- Ohh, That's a nice way to put it.
- Yeah, well, you got to

346
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,759
give him a pass, what
with all he's been through.

347
00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:36,455
What's he been through?

348
00:15:36,925 --> 00:15:39,769
Mary, that man sitting all
alone in that mess of a house

349
00:15:39,794 --> 00:15:41,421
is a genuine war hero.

350
00:15:42,094 --> 00:15:44,818
People like you and me'll never
understand what he went through.

351
00:15:45,919 --> 00:15:47,047
I didn't know.

352
00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:50,625
Well, he sure won't talk about
it. He give you a hard time?

353
00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:54,403
Yeah, and-and I kind of
gave him one right back.

354
00:15:56,316 --> 00:15:58,271
Would you mind if I went back over there

355
00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,480
and gave it another go?

356
00:15:59,972 --> 00:16:02,895
By all means. I got to lay down.

357
00:16:03,281 --> 00:16:05,837
Hey, Peg, if my wife calls, tell her...

358
00:16:05,937 --> 00:16:08,681
You know what, oh, she's not gonna call.

359
00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:10,010
Never mind.

360
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:12,213
[COUGHING]

361
00:16:20,755 --> 00:16:23,801
Mr. Gilford, it's Mary Cooper again.

362
00:16:28,541 --> 00:16:31,262
- [TV PLAYING]
- Mr. Gilford?

363
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,005
[GASPS]

364
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:36,225
Mr. Gilford?

365
00:16:36,886 --> 00:16:39,672
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

366
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,230
[CLEARS THROAT]

367
00:16:45,196 --> 00:16:46,769
- You a relative?
- No.

368
00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:48,293
Friend?

369
00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:49,902
I was trying.

370
00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:54,319
Okay, well, sorry. Coroner's on his way.

371
00:16:54,469 --> 00:16:55,530
Thank you.

372
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,434
This is some mess, huh?

373
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:01,050
[EXHALES] It's how he liked it.

374
00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:12,906
[KNOCKING]

375
00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:14,399
May I come in?

376
00:17:15,639 --> 00:17:16,640
I guess.

377
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,834
I looked over your work again and, uh,

378
00:17:25,405 --> 00:17:26,974
the math was correct.

379
00:17:31,286 --> 00:17:32,289
Really?

380
00:17:32,367 --> 00:17:33,461
You were right...

381
00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:37,278
and I was, er,
...wrong.

382
00:17:38,263 --> 00:17:39,764
Sorry I doubted you.

383
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,852
Wow. It must be really
hard for you to admit that.

384
00:17:44,298 --> 00:17:45,742
Well, yes.

385
00:17:46,343 --> 00:17:50,083
But, uh, I thought it could be
a learning opportunity for you.

386
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,178
What do you mean?

387
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:53,281
I wanted to show you that being wrong

388
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,208
is not the end of the world.

389
00:17:55,979 --> 00:17:58,786
Oh, okay. Thank you.

390
00:17:59,106 --> 00:18:01,850
ADULT SHELDON: Dr. Sturgis was a wise man.

391
00:18:01,853 --> 00:18:03,983
It was a learning opportunity.

392
00:18:03,986 --> 00:18:06,770
And when the day comes that I'm wrong,

393
00:18:06,773 --> 00:18:08,379
I fully plan to admit it.

394
00:18:13,945 --> 00:18:17,445
Okay, before we finish up, I'd
like to call up Mary Cooper,

395
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:19,375
who has a few words she'd like to say.

396
00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:27,402
Thank you, Pastor Jeff.

397
00:18:27,405 --> 00:18:31,433
[CLEARS THROAT]
As some of you might know,

398
00:18:31,436 --> 00:18:34,000
we lost a member of our congregation.

399
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,039
James Gilford passed
away earlier this week.

400
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,448
If that name isn't familiar to you,

401
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,105
don't feel bad, it wasn't to me either.

402
00:18:42,108 --> 00:18:43,762
But in the last few days,

403
00:18:43,764 --> 00:18:45,771
I've gotten to learn
a little bit about him.

404
00:18:46,245 --> 00:18:50,504
He was married to his wife,
Meredith, for over 45 years,

405
00:18:50,815 --> 00:18:52,930
he was a lieutenant in the Army,

406
00:18:53,059 --> 00:18:55,177
and, forgive him for this,

407
00:18:55,243 --> 00:18:57,905
a big fan of the Dallas Cowboys.

408
00:18:57,908 --> 00:18:59,381
[LAUGHTER]

409
00:18:59,384 --> 00:19:02,761
But even if you didn't know him,
I hope that you'll still join me

410
00:19:02,764 --> 00:19:05,349
in celebrating his life this Wednesday

411
00:19:05,374 --> 00:19:06,668
at the American Legion.

412
00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:08,074
Thank you.

413
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:12,139
Oh, um, and if there's anyone who's able

414
00:19:12,141 --> 00:19:14,765
to help me clean out his
house, please let me know.

415
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:18,258
Ooh, you know I love to
tackle clutter. We'll do it!

416
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,708
Oh, thank you.