1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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Billy! Mr. Cooper is here.

3
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How you doing?

4
00:00:07,987 --> 00:00:10,512
Do not look under that rock.

5
00:00:11,643 --> 00:00:13,817
But I appreciate you asking.

6
00:00:13,819 --> 00:00:15,558
Hey, you got rejected.

7
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,517
But was it the end of the world?

8
00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:18,671
No.

9
00:00:18,674 --> 00:00:20,955
And that is extremely
valuable information.

10
00:00:20,957 --> 00:00:22,391
And honestly...

11
00:00:22,393 --> 00:00:24,611
you dodged a bullet with Missy.

12
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The girl is mean.

13
00:00:26,441 --> 00:00:28,399
Thanks.

14
00:00:35,824 --> 00:00:37,345
Come on, Missy!

15
00:00:37,348 --> 00:00:38,782
- Hey.
- Hey!

16
00:00:38,785 --> 00:00:41,692
Came to see your man be a
leader of little people, huh?

17
00:00:41,695 --> 00:00:44,152
I came to see my granddaughter pitch.

18
00:00:44,154 --> 00:00:45,801
Yeah, under my leadership.

19
00:00:45,804 --> 00:00:47,721
All right, Cooper,
let's see what you got.

20
00:00:47,723 --> 00:00:48,985
Come on, girl!

21
00:00:51,857 --> 00:00:53,378
Come on, shake it off!

22
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:54,947
You got this.

23
00:00:59,038 --> 00:01:01,125
What the hell was that?

24
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:02,955
Well, there's some leadership.

25
00:01:06,089 --> 00:01:07,871
Time!

26
00:01:07,873 --> 00:01:09,220
Cooper!

27
00:01:09,222 --> 00:01:10,411
Time!

28
00:01:10,414 --> 00:01:13,496
Cooper, what is the problem?

29
00:01:13,499 --> 00:01:15,488
The ball isn't going
where it's supposed to.

30
00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:16,576
I saw that.

31
00:01:16,578 --> 00:01:18,028
What am I doing wrong?

32
00:01:18,031 --> 00:01:19,989
Just a little case of the yips.

33
00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:22,103
- It happens.
- What's that?

34
00:01:22,105 --> 00:01:24,322
The yips... you know,
it's when you're thinking

35
00:01:24,324 --> 00:01:25,846
about stuff in your head

36
00:01:25,849 --> 00:01:27,804
and something you've
done a million times,

37
00:01:27,806 --> 00:01:31,023
you can't do it anymore.
Even the pros get it.

38
00:01:31,026 --> 00:01:32,679
How do I get rid of it?

39
00:01:32,681 --> 00:01:35,029
Uh, just don't think about it.

40
00:01:35,031 --> 00:01:36,728
Okay.

41
00:01:41,826 --> 00:01:44,609
Don't think, just throw.

42
00:01:49,349 --> 00:01:52,612
I hate the little people.

43
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- <font color="#D81D1D">Synced and corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

44
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Damn it!

45
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Brenda?

46
00:02:21,947 --> 00:02:23,179
What?

47
00:02:23,182 --> 00:02:24,905
Everything okay over there?

48
00:02:24,907 --> 00:02:26,604
Oh, yeah.

49
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,536
Okay.

50
00:02:29,912 --> 00:02:31,765
Damn it!

51
00:02:31,768 --> 00:02:33,739
Okay, give her a go.

52
00:02:36,746 --> 00:02:38,356
You're a lifesaver.

53
00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,110
It's a gift.

54
00:02:41,113 --> 00:02:43,836
Can I offer you a beer
and some thank-you cobbler?

55
00:02:43,839 --> 00:02:45,820
Weren't you on your way somewhere?

56
00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,062
Weight Watchers.

57
00:02:49,148 --> 00:02:50,495
What do you say?

58
00:02:50,497 --> 00:02:52,587
Eh, sure.

59
00:02:53,939 --> 00:02:56,200
Do guys ever go to those
Weight Watchers meetings?

60
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Yeah, but they're all fat.

61
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:03,203
Of all the
tests one takes in school,

62
00:03:03,206 --> 00:03:05,578
my favorite was the midterm.

63
00:03:05,581 --> 00:03:07,102
Finals weren't bad,

64
00:03:07,105 --> 00:03:09,317
but they also meant
summer was approaching.

65
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,995
I don't believe in
religion, but sunshine,

66
00:03:11,997 --> 00:03:13,460
picnics and pool parties

67
00:03:13,463 --> 00:03:15,201
are proof hell exists.

68
00:03:25,464 --> 00:03:26,811
Aah!

69
00:03:26,814 --> 00:03:28,358
Why are you trying to hit me?

70
00:03:28,361 --> 00:03:30,289
I'm trying to hit the target.

71
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:31,580
It's over there.

72
00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:33,523
I know, dingus.

73
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,699
I thought you were good at this.

74
00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:38,761
I was.

75
00:03:38,763 --> 00:03:41,329
Coach Dale says I have the yips.

76
00:03:41,331 --> 00:03:43,113
It's not contagious, is it?

77
00:03:43,115 --> 00:03:45,289
No, it happens in sports.

78
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Suddenly you can't do a
thing that used to be easy.

79
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It doesn't sound real.

80
00:03:49,513 --> 00:03:51,171
Then why can't I pitch anymore?

81
00:03:51,174 --> 00:03:53,171
Ooh, perhaps it's the onset of puberty

82
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and the hysterical mood
swings that go with it.

83
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Dingus, house.

84
00:03:57,173 --> 00:03:59,175
You're only proving my point.

85
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What, Billy won an award?

86
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Participation.

87
00:04:07,409 --> 00:04:08,791
Big whoop.

88
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:10,007
I guess it's something.

89
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,957
Well, he ain't the
sharpest pencil in the box,

90
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,703
but he's the sweetest kid I know.

91
00:04:13,706 --> 00:04:16,232
Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil.

92
00:04:16,235 --> 00:04:17,867
Sometimes I'd just like

93
00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:19,778
to shove his head in that box.

94
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,109
Where's your trash?

95
00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:23,414
Everywhere.

96
00:04:23,416 --> 00:04:26,071
- But the basket's under the sink.
- Mm.

97
00:04:29,509 --> 00:04:31,422
You know your faucet's leaking?

98
00:04:31,424 --> 00:04:33,903
Yep, this whole place is falling apart.

99
00:04:33,905 --> 00:04:35,007
Well...

100
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,164
I'll come over another
time, and take care of it.Oh.

101
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:39,343
You know, you don't have to do that.

102
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,737
One more?

103
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:44,087
I should get going.

104
00:04:44,089 --> 00:04:45,830
Well, thanks again.

105
00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:51,164
Want to buy a house?

106
00:04:52,532 --> 00:04:53,937
Hey, where you been?

107
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,289
Ah, Brenda was having car trouble.

108
00:04:56,292 --> 00:04:58,465
- Just giving her hand.
- That's nice.

109
00:04:58,468 --> 00:05:00,538
I'm sure it's hard being by herself.

110
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:01,539
Yeah.

111
00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:03,304
That whole house is in need of repair.

112
00:05:03,307 --> 00:05:05,234
I hope you offered to help her out.

113
00:05:05,237 --> 00:05:07,193
I did... she said no.

114
00:05:07,196 --> 00:05:09,546
Well, that's just her being proud.

115
00:05:09,549 --> 00:05:11,682
Of course she wants your help.

116
00:05:12,857 --> 00:05:15,460
I guess
some time I'll pop over.

117
00:05:15,463 --> 00:05:17,071
Good.

118
00:05:17,074 --> 00:05:19,226
And when you go, hitch up your pants.

119
00:05:19,229 --> 00:05:21,776
There's a lot going on when you squat.

120
00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:23,171
All right.

121
00:05:23,174 --> 00:05:24,556
You have 45 minutes to complete

122
00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:26,825
the test, eyes on your own paper and...

123
00:05:26,828 --> 00:05:29,829
Yes, Sheldon, if you finish
early, you can take it again.

124
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,221
And...

125
00:05:31,223 --> 00:05:32,527
begin!

126
00:05:32,529 --> 00:05:33,746
And I was off.

127
00:05:33,748 --> 00:05:35,328
I flew through wave functions.

128
00:05:35,331 --> 00:05:37,574
I dominated harmonic oscillators.

129
00:05:37,577 --> 00:05:39,577
The only challenging part of this exam

130
00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:42,015
was trying to balance the
desire to finish quickly

131
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:44,933
with the urge to stop and smell
my freshly sharpened pencil.

132
00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:47,107
Mmm.

133
00:05:47,109 --> 00:05:48,761
I was in the zone.

134
00:05:48,763 --> 00:05:50,501
Only one question left.

135
00:05:50,503 --> 00:05:51,887
All I needed to do

136
00:05:51,890 --> 00:05:53,722
was solve Schrodinger's equation

137
00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:56,159
in a cylindrical well
by employing the zeroes

138
00:05:56,161 --> 00:05:58,294
of the Bessel function,
which of course were...

139
00:05:59,891 --> 00:06:01,804
Wait, what are they?

140
00:06:01,807 --> 00:06:03,644
Come on, you know this.

141
00:06:03,647 --> 00:06:05,649
You've done it a million times.

142
00:06:06,955 --> 00:06:09,031
Oh, dear.

143
00:06:17,008 --> 00:06:19,530
All right, Sheldon, time
to turn in your test.

144
00:06:19,532 --> 00:06:20,749
I'm not done yet.

145
00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:22,950
I know you like to add

146
00:06:22,953 --> 00:06:24,971
your own "better questions" at the end,

147
00:06:24,973 --> 00:06:26,911
but for the last time,
I don't count them.

148
00:06:26,914 --> 00:06:29,410
I just need a few more
minutes on this problem.

149
00:06:29,412 --> 00:06:30,671
That's an easy one.

150
00:06:30,674 --> 00:06:32,500
Just apply the zeroes
of the Bessel function.

151
00:06:32,502 --> 00:06:34,154
I know what I have to do.

152
00:06:34,156 --> 00:06:35,507
Is this is a tantrum?

153
00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:37,582
I've heard children your
age like to throw them.

154
00:06:37,585 --> 00:06:39,333
I can't remember what the zeroes

155
00:06:39,335 --> 00:06:41,161
of the Bessel function are.

156
00:06:41,163 --> 00:06:42,336
You didn't memorize them?

157
00:06:42,338 --> 00:06:44,555
Of course I did... October 7, 1988.

158
00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:46,166
I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams.

159
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:48,516
Then what's the problem?

160
00:06:48,518 --> 00:06:51,171
I'm blanking, but I'll get it.

161
00:06:51,173 --> 00:06:52,302
Sorry, son, class is over.

162
00:06:52,304 --> 00:06:53,468
No, I can do this.

163
00:06:53,471 --> 00:06:55,739
It's just one question.
You'll still pass.

164
00:06:55,742 --> 00:06:58,236
Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass."

165
00:06:58,239 --> 00:06:59,673
I have an idea.

166
00:06:59,676 --> 00:07:01,067
Let me see the test.

167
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,704
Thank you.

168
00:07:02,706 --> 00:07:04,924
Sheldon Cooper isn't always

169
00:07:04,926 --> 00:07:06,765
- that gullible.
- He was today.

170
00:07:11,928 --> 00:07:15,048
All right, almost there.

171
00:07:15,051 --> 00:07:17,269
Hand me a screwdriver.

172
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,884
Don't stick this in an outlet.

173
00:07:18,887 --> 00:07:20,791
It really tingles.

174
00:07:20,794 --> 00:07:23,448
- We had an incident.
- Yeah.

175
00:07:23,451 --> 00:07:25,525
You know what?

176
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,788
Why don't you fix it?

177
00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:28,540
- Really?
- Yeah, you see

178
00:07:28,543 --> 00:07:29,542
that little screw there?

179
00:07:29,545 --> 00:07:31,463
Just go ahead and tighten her up.

180
00:07:31,466 --> 00:07:33,553
- Like this?
- Yep.

181
00:07:33,556 --> 00:07:35,564
What now?

182
00:07:35,567 --> 00:07:37,594
Uh, run outside and
turn the water back on.

183
00:07:37,596 --> 00:07:40,139
Here, I'm not allowed to run with this.

184
00:07:40,142 --> 00:07:42,818
We've had a lot of incidents.

185
00:07:44,385 --> 00:07:46,429
- Who knew you were so handy?
- Yeah.

186
00:07:46,431 --> 00:07:48,494
There's just things
guys need to be good at.

187
00:07:48,497 --> 00:07:51,150
What else you good at?

188
00:07:53,026 --> 00:07:54,679
I should go.

189
00:07:59,922 --> 00:08:01,835
Hey, pretty lady.

190
00:08:01,837 --> 00:08:04,142
- Are you drinking already?
- No!

191
00:08:04,144 --> 00:08:06,840
Can't a guy give his wife a compliment?

192
00:08:06,842 --> 00:08:08,494
Do I have to smell your breath?

193
00:08:08,496 --> 00:08:10,104
How about a kiss instead?

194
00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:11,497
What is with you?

195
00:08:11,499 --> 00:08:13,020
Well, I don't know.

196
00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:15,153
Kids aren't home.

197
00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:17,673
Now? I'm doing laundry.

198
00:08:17,676 --> 00:08:19,111
Laundry can wait.

199
00:08:19,114 --> 00:08:20,680
So can your thing.

200
00:08:20,682 --> 00:08:22,291
I like to think of it as ourthing,

201
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:25,381
but if you only have time for
my thing, that's fine, too.

202
00:08:25,383 --> 00:08:27,296
You're being weird.

203
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,080
Weird sexy?

204
00:08:29,082 --> 00:08:30,211
No.

205
00:08:30,213 --> 00:08:32,257
- Headed to the bedroom?
- No!

206
00:08:32,259 --> 00:08:34,479
Just checking.

207
00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,742
Missy!

208
00:08:38,744 --> 00:08:40,814
You gave me your yips.

209
00:08:40,817 --> 00:08:41,876
What?

210
00:08:41,879 --> 00:08:43,964
I froze on a test. That's
never happened before.

211
00:08:43,967 --> 00:08:45,226
It's all your fault.

212
00:08:45,228 --> 00:08:46,750
I told you it's not contagious.

213
00:08:46,752 --> 00:08:48,055
You put the thought in my head.

214
00:08:48,057 --> 00:08:49,666
The power of suggestion is very real.

215
00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:51,755
Case in point: tulip mania.

216
00:08:51,757 --> 00:08:53,713
- Here we go.
- Tulip mania

217
00:08:53,715 --> 00:08:55,384
was an insane desire to buy and trade

218
00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:57,021
tulip bulbs in the 1600s.

219
00:08:57,023 --> 00:08:58,805
It nearly ruined the Dutch economy.

220
00:08:58,807 --> 00:09:00,764
You would not believe the
gilders they were spending.

221
00:09:00,766 --> 00:09:02,505
How can you remember
this stupid information,

222
00:09:02,507 --> 00:09:04,202
but not the stuff on your test?

223
00:09:04,204 --> 00:09:05,551
You tell me, they're your yips.

224
00:09:05,553 --> 00:09:07,584
Sheldon, if I knew how to make it stop,

225
00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:08,772
I would tell you.

226
00:09:08,774 --> 00:09:10,469
You better.

227
00:09:10,472 --> 00:09:13,373
Maybe it's puberty
making you all emotional.

228
00:09:13,376 --> 00:09:15,623
I checked my armpits...
Smooth as balloons.

229
00:09:18,436 --> 00:09:21,567
Hey.

230
00:09:21,569 --> 00:09:23,174
What's your problem?

231
00:09:23,177 --> 00:09:24,655
I don't want to talk about it.

232
00:09:24,658 --> 00:09:26,529
- Great.
- I had a mental block

233
00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:28,008
on a test and it was something that

234
00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:29,488
I absolutely know how to do.

235
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:31,795
Oh, you know, that sort of
thing happens in sports, too.

236
00:09:31,797 --> 00:09:33,144
I know. It's called the yips,

237
00:09:33,146 --> 00:09:34,275
and it's a very silly name

238
00:09:34,277 --> 00:09:35,755
for a very serious problem.

239
00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:37,584
Well, you know, the best thing to do

240
00:09:37,587 --> 00:09:40,107
is get out of your head.

241
00:09:40,109 --> 00:09:41,239
How do I do that?

242
00:09:41,241 --> 00:09:43,720
Just turn your brain off.

243
00:09:43,722 --> 00:09:45,286
It's like I'm not even your son.

244
00:09:45,288 --> 00:09:46,766
Look.

245
00:09:46,768 --> 00:09:48,935
I know you don't respect
what I do as a coach.

246
00:09:48,938 --> 00:09:50,358
Maybe you do know me.

247
00:09:50,361 --> 00:09:53,147
But this is a thing
I actually know about.

248
00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:54,948
I've seen it happen to my players.

249
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:56,863
I've seen it happen to pros in golf.

250
00:09:56,865 --> 00:09:58,343
In baseball.

251
00:09:58,345 --> 00:09:59,866
The answer is always the same.

252
00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:02,521
Stop thinking and get
out of your own way.

253
00:10:02,523 --> 00:10:05,916
I don't know how to do that.

254
00:10:05,918 --> 00:10:08,745
Have you ever heard the
Nike slogan "Just do it"?

255
00:10:08,747 --> 00:10:10,573
I'm familiar with the
phrase "let's do it,"

256
00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:12,531
uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person

257
00:10:12,533 --> 00:10:15,231
to be executed by
firing squad in America.

258
00:10:16,385 --> 00:10:19,342
Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan.

259
00:10:19,345 --> 00:10:21,376
And it's good advice.

260
00:10:21,379 --> 00:10:23,634
The answer is already in your head.

261
00:10:23,637 --> 00:10:25,370
Don't think so hard.

262
00:10:25,372 --> 00:10:26,939
Just do it.

263
00:10:28,201 --> 00:10:29,592
I'll try.

264
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:31,712
Good man.

265
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:34,248
Another fun footwear
slogan is "I'm Buster Brown.

266
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:36,512
I live in a shoe. That's my dog Tige.

267
00:10:36,514 --> 00:10:37,948
Look for him there, too."

268
00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:39,993
Mm, I think mine is more helpful.

269
00:10:39,995 --> 00:10:41,780
Well, mine rhymes, so...

270
00:10:44,391 --> 00:10:47,131
I decided
to heed my father's advice.

271
00:10:47,134 --> 00:10:49,815
I wasn't sure how to turn off my brain.

272
00:10:49,818 --> 00:10:52,514
Thankfully, I lived with an expert.

273
00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:54,268
What's up?

274
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:56,572
I've never really thought
about not thinking before.

275
00:10:56,575 --> 00:10:58,534
Well, I'm asking you to think about it.

276
00:10:58,536 --> 00:11:00,814
But I thought you were
interested in not thinking.

277
00:11:00,817 --> 00:11:02,624
I am. I want you to
think about not thinking,

278
00:11:02,627 --> 00:11:03,974
and then teach me how to do it.

279
00:11:03,976 --> 00:11:06,280
- Do what?
- Not think.

280
00:11:06,282 --> 00:11:08,328
All right.

281
00:11:10,809 --> 00:11:12,417
This is tough.

282
00:11:12,419 --> 00:11:14,556
I'm good at not thinking,
but I don't think

283
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,726
I can teach you how to
not think without thinking.

284
00:11:16,728 --> 00:11:18,908
Hmm, well, thank you for trying.

285
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,642
Hold on! What if you're thinking

286
00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:22,122
about something else instead?

287
00:11:22,124 --> 00:11:24,124
Would that count as
thinking or not thinking?

288
00:11:24,126 --> 00:11:26,257
I suppose it's similar to the mantras

289
00:11:26,259 --> 00:11:27,986
extolled by the sages of the east.

290
00:11:27,989 --> 00:11:29,902
It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda

291
00:11:29,905 --> 00:11:32,175
called Japa Yoga and
it's intended to bring out

292
00:11:32,178 --> 00:11:34,920
a single-pointedness of concentration.

293
00:11:36,399 --> 00:11:38,138
Sorry, I zoned out.

294
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:40,150
- Ooh, tell me how.
- Let's see.

295
00:11:40,153 --> 00:11:41,283
You were blabbering.

296
00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:42,900
It all started to blur together.

297
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,103
And I was gone.

298
00:11:44,106 --> 00:11:46,102
At what point did it start to happen?

299
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,580
I don't know. Say it again.

300
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:48,844
I said I suppose

301
00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:50,237
it's similar to the mantras

302
00:11:50,239 --> 00:11:51,994
extolled by the sages of the east.

303
00:11:51,997 --> 00:11:55,215
It's a practice that Swami
Vivekananda called Japa Yoga...

304
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,299
That is wild.

305
00:12:12,518 --> 00:12:15,116
The next day,
armed with the sage advice

306
00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:16,928
of my father, my brother,

307
00:12:16,931 --> 00:12:20,523
and an executed murderer, I
was allowed to retake the test.

308
00:12:20,526 --> 00:12:23,529
You have 45 minutes starting now.

309
00:12:24,413 --> 00:12:25,874
Okay, just do it.

310
00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:27,038
Just do it.

311
00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:29,650
Just turn your brain off and do it.

312
00:12:29,653 --> 00:12:31,522
Is it off? Am I doing it?

313
00:12:31,525 --> 00:12:34,030
Wait, if I'm thinking it's
off, then it must still be on.

314
00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:36,931
I'm trying too hard. Don't
overthink, just do it.

315
00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:39,444
Just do it, just...

316
00:12:39,447 --> 00:12:42,491
Time's up.

317
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:43,711
But I didn't do it.

318
00:12:43,714 --> 00:12:44,999
Waste my morning?

319
00:12:45,002 --> 00:12:46,419
You did it.

320
00:12:46,422 --> 00:12:48,640
That toilet won't stop running.

321
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,303
Have you tried jiggling the handle?

322
00:12:50,306 --> 00:12:51,842
I jiggled it, wiggled it.

323
00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:53,470
Damn near had a baby with it.

324
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,081
Yeah, let me take a look.

325
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:58,519
I was fixing to put some dinner
on, if you care to join me.

326
00:12:58,521 --> 00:13:00,450
I don't want to put you out.

327
00:13:00,453 --> 00:13:02,105
It's just frozen lasagna.

328
00:13:02,108 --> 00:13:04,656
But I'm going oven instead of microwave,

329
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:06,353
'cause you're company.

330
00:13:06,355 --> 00:13:08,355
What are you doing?

331
00:13:08,357 --> 00:13:09,573
What do you mean?

332
00:13:09,575 --> 00:13:11,839
You know what I mean.

333
00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:16,206
I was just trying to thank you.

334
00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:17,775
And you're the one who offered

335
00:13:17,778 --> 00:13:19,386
to come over here and fix things.

336
00:13:19,389 --> 00:13:20,649
I was being nice.

337
00:13:20,652 --> 00:13:21,738
So was I.

338
00:13:21,741 --> 00:13:23,425
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.

339
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,154
There is no pleasing you.

340
00:13:25,156 --> 00:13:26,386
Well, I don't need this here.

341
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,667
I can get fighting at my house.

342
00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:29,768
Then maybe you should
go back to your house.

343
00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,558
Mom, can you
help with my homework?

344
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,816
There in a sec.

345
00:13:34,818 --> 00:13:36,688
You leaving?

346
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,124
You gonna fix the toilet?

347
00:13:38,126 --> 00:13:39,778
- No.
- Then I guess I'm not leaving.

348
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:41,127
Thank you. Lasagna?

349
00:13:41,129 --> 00:13:42,824
Small piece. Mary's making tacos.

350
00:13:42,826 --> 00:13:44,061
Okay.

351
00:13:44,064 --> 00:13:46,316
Trying to
outsmart my own thought patterns

352
00:13:46,319 --> 00:13:47,873
proved to be challenging.

353
00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:51,180
It's understandable, as smart as I was,

354
00:13:51,182 --> 00:13:53,052
I was also that smart.

355
00:13:53,054 --> 00:13:56,751
I wondered if I could
invent a mind control device,

356
00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:59,210
but that sounded a
little too "mwah-ha-ha"

357
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,363
even for me. It turned out

358
00:14:01,366 --> 00:14:03,192
the device I was looking for

359
00:14:03,194 --> 00:14:05,804
had been in my presence the entire time.

360
00:14:05,806 --> 00:14:07,849
Television. It had been tranquilizing

361
00:14:07,851 --> 00:14:10,425
the minds of America's
youth for generations,

362
00:14:10,428 --> 00:14:12,308
and it was just what I needed.

363
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,855
Lift off.

364
00:14:13,857 --> 00:14:15,641
Too interesting.

365
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:18,033
Too violent.

366
00:14:19,428 --> 00:14:21,776
I don't think so.

367
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:25,040
Now, then, let's build
us a little cloud.

368
00:14:25,042 --> 00:14:26,967
Clouds are very free.

369
00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:28,569
Very, very free.

370
00:14:28,572 --> 00:14:30,116
Tell you what. If you...

371
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,178
That was so much fun, let's get crazy...

372
00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:35,181
Who's this bohemian?

373
00:14:35,184 --> 00:14:36,902
If you could have

374
00:14:36,905 --> 00:14:39,359
any job in the high
school, what would it be?

375
00:14:39,361 --> 00:14:41,538
I don't know, why?

376
00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:43,758
Sometimes I look at the janitor

377
00:14:43,761 --> 00:14:45,670
pushing around that buffing machine.

378
00:14:45,673 --> 00:14:48,630
That thing looks like a blast.

379
00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:50,067
He doesn't wear a tie.

380
00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:53,028
No fights with the school board.

381
00:14:53,031 --> 00:14:56,469
Vomit and feces aside,
he's, he's living the dream.

382
00:14:57,877 --> 00:15:00,263
Hello? Am I boring you?

383
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,309
Sorry.

384
00:15:01,312 --> 00:15:03,121
I'm a little distracted.

385
00:15:03,124 --> 00:15:05,994
Trouble at home?

386
00:15:05,996 --> 00:15:07,452
- Something like that.
- Mm.

387
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:08,847
You want to talk about it?

388
00:15:10,205 --> 00:15:11,944
No.

389
00:15:11,947 --> 00:15:14,077
Tell me about your fun bachelor life.

390
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,131
Well, as of last week, I officially

391
00:15:16,134 --> 00:15:18,491
tasted every Campbell's soup.

392
00:15:18,494 --> 00:15:20,374
Come on, Tom.

393
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,203
I'm trying to live vicariously here.

394
00:15:22,206 --> 00:15:24,012
There's got to be something good.

395
00:15:24,014 --> 00:15:27,015
Let's see, I go hunting and
fishing whenever I feel like it.

396
00:15:27,017 --> 00:15:28,625
Now we're getting somewhere.

397
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,933
- Spend my money on whatever I want.
- Mm.

398
00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:33,848
What was the last thing you got?

399
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:36,358
Foreman fight on pay-per-view.

400
00:15:36,361 --> 00:15:39,717
I ate a bucket of chicken and
watched it in my underwear.

401
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:40,991
You lucky bastard.

402
00:15:40,994 --> 00:15:42,639
Uh-huh.

403
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,920
What about women?

404
00:15:43,923 --> 00:15:46,499
Honestly...

405
00:15:46,502 --> 00:15:49,645
it's tough to meet people at this age.

406
00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:51,788
No, come on, charming fella like you?

407
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,378
Sadly, this is the best night out

408
00:15:54,381 --> 00:15:56,218
I've had in a long time.

409
00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:58,928
Yeah. Me, too.

410
00:15:58,931 --> 00:16:02,050
But if you know anybody,
send them my way.

411
00:16:05,751 --> 00:16:07,971
Yeah, I'll think about.

412
00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:11,764
You ever eat chicken in your underwear?

413
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,018
What do you think?

414
00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:14,842
- Yes.
- Yes.

415
00:16:14,845 --> 00:16:16,716
Making a
gorgeous little mountain.

416
00:16:16,719 --> 00:16:17,858
Ooh.

417
00:16:17,861 --> 00:16:20,488
Little stand of evergreens
that lives right in here.

418
00:16:20,491 --> 00:16:22,810
I didn't know Richard Simmons can paint.

419
00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:24,225
His name's Bob Ross.

420
00:16:24,228 --> 00:16:25,924
And he's oddly hypnotic.

421
00:16:25,927 --> 00:16:27,317
You're gonna paint?

422
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,077
No, I just like watching him.

423
00:16:29,079 --> 00:16:30,577
I can't explain it, but his voice

424
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:33,428
and demeanor are comforting,
like a hot beverage.

425
00:16:33,431 --> 00:16:35,562
Let's get crazy and, once again,

426
00:16:35,564 --> 00:16:37,999
just pull it out, just
like we did the other one.

427
00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:39,435
Yawn.

428
00:16:39,437 --> 00:16:42,699
Barely touch, whisper.

429
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,701
Just whisper light.

430
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:46,181
Let it go.

431
00:16:46,183 --> 00:16:48,147
Let it go, no pressure.

432
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:50,881
The yips
are a cruel mistress.

433
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,189
But thanks to a magical
man with a halo of curls,

434
00:16:54,191 --> 00:16:58,347
I was finally able to relax
and get out of my own head.

435
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:02,197
Instead of freezing up, I
thought about happy integers.

436
00:17:02,199 --> 00:17:04,721
Fluffy little formulas

437
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:06,941
and a sweet Bessel
function that just wants me

438
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:07,986
to do my very best.

439
00:17:07,988 --> 00:17:09,061
Done.

440
00:17:09,064 --> 00:17:10,894
Great, I can still
make my doubles match.

441
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,253
Get out.

442
00:17:19,683 --> 00:17:21,310
Damn it.

443
00:17:21,313 --> 00:17:23,966
- Hold it. Time, time, time.
- Time!

444
00:17:23,969 --> 00:17:25,793
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

445
00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:27,840
Ah, don't worry about
it. It's not your fault.

446
00:17:27,842 --> 00:17:29,485
- It isn't?
- No, I'm the one

447
00:17:29,488 --> 00:17:31,975
that let a girl pitch. It's my mistake.

448
00:17:31,977 --> 00:17:34,410
What? I've won so many games.

449
00:17:34,413 --> 00:17:35,717
Oh, that was then.

450
00:17:35,719 --> 00:17:37,556
Why are you being so mean?

451
00:17:37,559 --> 00:17:40,299
Well, why are you getting
so emotional, like women do?

452
00:17:40,302 --> 00:17:42,432
Maybe you ought to be a cheerleader.

453
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:44,305
You trying to make me mad?

454
00:17:44,308 --> 00:17:45,814
- Is it working?
- Yeah.

455
00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:47,033
Well, I tell you what,

456
00:17:47,035 --> 00:17:49,340
picture my face in the catcher's mitt.

457
00:17:49,342 --> 00:17:50,341
What?

458
00:17:50,343 --> 00:17:51,820
Do I have to dumb it down for you?

459
00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:53,997
Just do what I tell you.

460
00:18:02,355 --> 00:18:04,311
- Strike!
- Yes!

461
00:18:04,313 --> 00:18:07,719
Aw, don't get all
hysterical, little girl!

462
00:18:07,722 --> 00:18:09,229
You suck!

463
00:18:09,231 --> 00:18:10,415
You suck!

464
00:18:10,418 --> 00:18:12,798
No! You suck!

465
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,930
Strike!

466
00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:18,153
I am the leader of the little people.

467
00:18:20,379 --> 00:18:26,129
- <font color="#D81D1D">Synced and corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
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