1 00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:05,374 Look at him. Breaks my heart. 2 00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,672 Poor little guy, all alone. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:09,415 I don't see why 4 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,922 - his brother can't sit with him. - Come on, Mary. 5 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,173 When you were in high school, would you have lunch 6 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:14,924 - with a nine-year-old? - Yes, I would've. 7 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,347 Well, there's something wrong with you. 8 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,348 I'm gonna keep him company. 9 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:19,801 Hey, hey, hey, Mary. Mary. 10 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,886 Think this through. Right now the kids 11 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,437 are just ignoring Sheldon. 12 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,641 What happens if he's sitting with his mommy? 13 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,892 They could mistake me for a senior. 14 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,191 Well, I look younger than you. 15 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:33,030 Just give this time, all right? 16 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,608 - It'll work itself out. - (sighs) 17 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,744 ADULT SHELDON: My mother never understood 18 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,823 that I actually enjoyed being alone. 19 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:44,372 Solitude allowed me to think about important things, 20 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,873 like the effect of gravitational forces 21 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,876 as you approach an event horizon, 22 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,587 as opposed to less important things, 23 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:55,420 like how many grapes my brother can fit in his mouth. 24 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:56,633 (muffled): 14! 25 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,464 - Yeah! - (laughter) 26 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:00,933 ADULT SHELDON: Jean-Paul Sartre said, 27 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,306 "Hell is other people." 28 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,308 (laughs) 29 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:07,015 That's humorous because it's true. 30 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,228 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 31 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,063 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 32 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,650 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 33 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:19,576 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 34 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,826 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 35 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:31,998 (sighs) 36 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:33,590 Something wrong? 37 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,051 How come math is easy for Sheldon 38 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,424 and hard for me? 39 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,425 I don't know, honey, 40 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,256 but you have your own gifts. 41 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,591 Like what? 42 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,426 Well, like... 43 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,098 ...you have very pretty hair. 44 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:50,858 True. 45 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,483 Georgie. 46 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,439 Would you do me a little tiny favor? 47 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:57,444 Like what? 48 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,116 Tomorrow at lunch, would you mind 49 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:00,409 sitting with your brother? 50 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:01,486 Don't do it, Georgie. 51 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,116 You stay out of this. 52 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:04,451 I ate with him in second grade. 53 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,658 It really hurt my social life. 54 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,456 (sighs) Sorry, Mom. Can't do it. 55 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:12,914 Why are you such a brat? 56 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,254 Maybe I'm crying for attention. 57 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,877 This isn't a joke, young lady. 58 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,721 Yes, your brother may be smart, 59 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,639 but he doesn't have a friend in the world. 60 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:26,094 And I am sorry, but I am very worried about him. 61 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:33,314 Nice going. You're making Mom a nervous wreck. 62 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:34,977 What did I do? 63 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,860 You don't have any friends, and she is beside herself. 64 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,407 But I'm fine without friends. 65 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:40,904 I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon. 66 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,031 She said it's your fault. 67 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,158 I'm going to watch ALF. 68 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,118 ADULT SHELDON: Science fact: 69 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:50,327 - (door closes) - sisters are the worst. 70 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,420 ADULT SHELDON: When you're three foot ten 71 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:58,592 and in high school, 72 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,219 getting from point "A" 73 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,468 to point "B" can be a harrowing experience. 74 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,470 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 75 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,801 ♪ We are the youth gone wild ♪ 76 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,681 ♪ Whoa ♪ 77 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,183 ♪ Whoa... ♪ 78 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:14,017 ADULT SHELDON: But it's worth it when point "B" is... 79 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,484 (exhales) 80 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,941 ...the library. 81 00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,236 Home to the original information superhighway, 82 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,158 the Dewey Decimal System. 83 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,406 MS. HUTCHINS: Hey there, Sheldon. 84 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,203 What can I get for you today? 85 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,951 Chemistry? 86 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,203 Quantum mechanics? Astronomy? 87 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,868 No, nothing fun today. 88 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,919 I need to learn how to make a friend. 89 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,622 Aw, honey, you having a hard time 90 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,127 adjusting to high school? 91 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,755 I'm having a hard time adjusting to Earth. 92 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,052 Yeah. You and me both. 93 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:46,512 Try this. 94 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,435 It's been around a while, but it's still quite popular. 95 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,270 Unlike me, 96 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,306 who's just been around a while. 97 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,185 "How to Win Friends 98 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,021 and Influence People." 99 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,397 This might do it. 100 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,741 "Principle one. 101 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,115 Don't criticize, condemn or complain." 102 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,538 ADULT SHELDON: The three sharpest arrows 103 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,991 in my quiver. 104 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,789 Thus began the greatest challenge 105 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:14,960 of my young life. 106 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,288 Hello, George. 107 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:18,001 What? 108 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:21,425 I do admire your thick head of hair... 109 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,460 George. 110 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,628 Thanks. 111 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:26,802 What's going on? 112 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,475 Well, I'm practicing the principles in this book. 113 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,303 - Why? - Well, I know Mom is concerned 114 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,478 that I don't have any friends, 115 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,478 so I'm determined to remedy the situation. 116 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:37,858 Oh. 117 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,234 George. 118 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,274 Well, good for you. 119 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,897 Do you feel complimented 120 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,652 when I say your name, George? 121 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,406 The book says you should. George. 122 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:48,907 I suppose. 123 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,533 Kind of overdoing it a little. 124 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,532 - Sheldon. - Well, thank you 125 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:53,992 for your criticism. 126 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:55,542 It also says I should praise 127 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,871 any improvements that you've made. 128 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,418 Okay. 129 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,044 I'll get back to you. 130 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,089 George. 131 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,175 ADULT SHELDON: On the heels 132 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,101 of that successful beta test, 133 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,521 I decided to practice the Carnegie principles 134 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,223 on someone my own age. 135 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,434 ♪ Hey. ♪ 136 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,441 - Hello, Billy Sparks. - Hey, Sheldon. 137 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,609 I am genuinely interested in you 138 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,784 and would like to encourage you to talk about yourself. 139 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:28,867 Billy Sparks. 140 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:29,819 Thank you. 141 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,328 You have the floor. 142 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,205 Thank you. 143 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,834 ADULT SHELDON: Looking back, I would've had better luck 144 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,715 making friends with the chickens. 145 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,054 Go Wolves. 146 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,009 What? 147 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,928 You're a cheerleader, and by saying 148 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,055 "Go Wolves," I'm initiating a conversation 149 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,933 about something that interests you. 150 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,561 Oh, are you one of those special ed kids? 151 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,559 My mom says I'm special. 152 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,269 Would you like to be friends? 153 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,191 I don't think so. 154 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,939 Are you sure? What if I told you 155 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,445 I admired your boldly-applied makeup? 156 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,277 ♪ Oh! ♪ 157 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,747 SHELDON: Greetings from stall number one. 158 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,705 As much as I detest that odd-smelling cigarette, 159 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:22,879 I do applaud 160 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,673 your rule-breaking bravado. 161 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,552 My name is Sheldon. What's yours? 162 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,469 (door closes) 163 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,347 Hello, gentlemen. 164 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:35,677 Did you watch any sports programs over the weekend? 165 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:37,933 ♪ That's what I like about... ♪ 166 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,765 Or perhaps did some kissing with girls? 167 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,235 ♪ That's what I like about you... ♪ 168 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,521 Can you hear me? 169 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,605 ♪ Hey! Hey! ♪ 170 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,612 - MISSY: 95, 96, 97. - ♪ Hey! ♪ 171 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:51,947 98. 172 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,828 99, 100. 173 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,617 - You missed 11 numbers. - I don't need 174 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,667 to be good at math. I have beautiful hair. 175 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,998 That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. 176 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,543 Didn't you already read that book? 177 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,294 I'm reading it again. 178 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:07,374 How come? 179 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:08,925 I clearly missed something. 180 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,346 I couldn't find one person who wanted to be my friend. 181 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,264 Did you look at the card inside? 182 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,092 Why? 183 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,553 That's just other people who checked out the book. 184 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,814 It's a list of losers like you who can't find a friend. 185 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:22,973 So? 186 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,814 So they're desperate, and you have their names. 187 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,984 That's brilliant. 188 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:30,822 Mm. 189 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,443 Now, how is it that you can't count? 190 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,163 ♪ Well, can't you see her standing there? ♪ 191 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,165 So your father tells me you've been reading a new book? 192 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,543 I am. It's about how to make friends. 193 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,257 Is that something you're interested in? 194 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,426 Not really, but Missy told me 195 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,755 it makes you sad that I don't have any. 196 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,301 Oh. 197 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,138 I got to sew that girl's mouth shut. 198 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,135 So how's it going? 199 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:03,348 Well, the principles in the book didn't work for me at all. 200 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,395 Although Dad does like being called George 201 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,318 over and over again, so you might give that a try. 202 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,238 Baby, you don't have to go to any trouble for me. 203 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,860 But I like doing things for you. 204 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,237 You're a nice lady. 205 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,036 - But if the book's not working... - It isn't. 206 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,746 But I realized if I find the other people 207 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,708 who checked out the book, they'd be looking for friends, too. 208 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:24,994 That's really smart. 209 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,463 - Missy thought of it. - You're kidding. 210 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,874 I'm as surprised as you are. 211 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,129 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh. ♪ 212 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,926 (distant chatter) 213 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,170 Excuse me, Ms. Ingram? 214 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,089 Sheldon, it's recess. 215 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,015 Go outside, see what it's like. 216 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,186 Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram? 217 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:43,725 Yes. 218 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,058 The same Evelyn Ingram who checked out this book? 219 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,984 - And why is that your business? - I just 220 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,528 assumed you were looking to make a friend. 221 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:52,947 Oh. (laughs) 222 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,615 Well, that was a long time ago. 223 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:57,694 I had just gotten out of a very difficult relationship. 224 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,365 - With a friend? - Friend. 225 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,244 Ha! I gave that man three years of my life 226 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,540 and my innocence. 227 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:04,959 I don't know what that means. 228 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:08,538 It means men are lying dogs only interested in one thing. 229 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,706 Well, that's not the dictionary definition. 230 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:11,540 Mm-hmm. 231 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,342 Always starts the same. 232 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:17,255 A quick glance across the room, a casual hand on the shoulder, 233 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,261 lunch at Stuckey's. (laughs) 234 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,592 Oh, yeah, it's all romance 235 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,971 and flowers in the beginning... 236 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,850 ADULT SHELDON: The list proved to be a double-edged sword. 237 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:28,900 It turns out self-help books written in 1936 238 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,772 were only of interest to adults. 239 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,273 You're like, "I'm here because I care. 240 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,355 And by the way, your phone could make calls, too." 241 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,815 Then tries to turn this whole thing around 242 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,195 like it's all about you being needy, 243 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,117 and you're like, "Yes, I have needs! 244 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,615 That's what makes me human!" 245 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,330 ADULT SHELDON: Emotionally troubled adults. 246 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,998 Child, go outside. 247 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,413 Yes, that's my signature. Why do you ask? 248 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,965 I'm seeking people who want to make friends. 249 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,834 I wasn't interested in friends. 250 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,295 I took out that book to help me become school principal. 251 00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:01,224 - Did it work? - Are we sitting in the principal's office? 252 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,141 - No. - And you know why? 253 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,892 Because Victoria MacElroy is not a man! 254 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,440 So to be clear, you're not interested in making friends? 255 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:14,271 What I'm interested in is in living long enough 256 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:18,073 to see women no longer treated like second-class citizens. 257 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,820 Well if your goal is a long life, 258 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,074 that chili cheeseburger is a step in the wrong direction. 259 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,081 Food is all I have. 260 00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:27,954 ADULT SHELDON: Like I said, 261 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,877 emotionally troubled adults. 262 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,296 You gonna watch me eat? 263 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,213 Get out of here. 264 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,002 MAN: Everybody told me, 265 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,053 "Hubert, don't date someone from work." 266 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,177 But did I listen? No. 267 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,928 Let me tell you something. She likes to say 268 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,134 I stole her innocence? 269 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,560 Well, what about my innocence? 270 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,103 I was never the same after we broke up. 271 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,054 ADULT SHELDON: Two years later, 272 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,641 Mr. Givens became the high school principal, 273 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,819 which might be why Ms. MacElroy became morbidly obese. 274 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,396 I had the brains, I had the charm, and I don't like to brag, 275 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,356 but I was pretty easy on the eyes back then. 276 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,613 That woman got herself one heck of a package. 277 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,694 But some people don't want to be satisfied. 278 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,323 Is that any good? 279 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:08,957 I'm afraid not. 280 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,910 I failed to make a single friend. 281 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,963 That sucks. I have a tough time making friends, too. 282 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,461 The worst part is, it was important to my mom. 283 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,461 My parents pressure me about making friends all the time. 284 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,636 So you understand what I'm going through. 285 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,344 Oh, I read that book. It's excellent. 286 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:26,968 Are you into rocketry? 287 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,304 I started with water propulsion, 288 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,683 worked my way up to solid fuel, 289 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,733 then went back to water after I set our garage on fire. 290 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,561 - Nice. - I also tried to get some uranium 291 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:40,022 and build an atomic engine, but that stuff's hard to find. 292 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,775 Probably for the best. 293 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,077 Well, good luck on your quest to find a friend. 294 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,241 You, too. 295 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,170 If you haven't found one yet, I have good news. 296 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,085 Mom, what do you know about the drug Prozac? 297 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,469 Not much. 298 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,797 Supposed to make people happier. Why? 299 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,427 I was just thinking 300 00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,805 some of my teachers might benefit from it. 301 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,053 Speaking of which, 302 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,389 you'll be happy to know I made a friend today. 303 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:14,852 Oh. 304 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,727 Well, that's nice. 305 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,858 But, as I said, this isn't for me. 306 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,189 It's for you. 307 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,569 He made a friend! 308 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:24,691 He did it! 309 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,654 Our little boy has got a friend. 310 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,454 - Who is it? - Who cares? 311 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,749 It's a human being. It's a warm body. 312 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,659 - (knocks) - SHELDON: Mom? 313 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:34,459 Yes, honey? 314 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,253 - Can I come in? - Of course. 315 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,875 Be cool. 316 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,674 - What's up, sweetie? - I was wondering 317 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,172 when I could continue my rocketry hobby. 318 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,379 Uh, Sheldon, we've been through this. 319 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,009 You can build them. You just can't launch them. 320 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,091 But launching them is the fun part. 321 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,100 Tell that to the family of squirrels 322 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,678 - who died in the fire. - Okay. 323 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,355 It was just something I was hoping to do with my new friend. 324 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,561 Hang on. 325 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,017 Uh, yes. 326 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,234 It's fine. 327 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,231 Ban is lifted. 328 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,153 - Mary... - It's for his friend. 329 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:03,526 He's got a friend. 330 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,699 Besides, those could have been rats. 331 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,651 Their bodies were so badly burned. 332 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,696 I thought we were being cool, but okay. 333 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,452 Hey, here's an idea. 334 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,909 Why don't you invite your new buddy over for dinner? 335 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,455 - Why? - Well, honey, 336 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:19,755 um, that is what friends do. 337 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,298 My mother asked me to ask you 338 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,671 if you'd like to join us for dinner. 339 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,966 - Why? - I was hoping you'd know. 340 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,099 MARY: He's here! 341 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,726 Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day, 342 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,274 - just a normal dinner. - MISSY: Can I eat in front of the TV? 343 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,439 MARY: No, you can eat in front of Sheldon's friend. 344 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,566 - MISSY: Aw, fudge. - I know what "fudge" means, 345 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,773 and you are right on the edge, young lady. 346 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,820 Welcome. 347 00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,036 GEORGE SR.: So, uh... 348 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,163 Tam. What kind of name is that? 349 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,006 Vietnamese. Sir. 350 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,083 Sure. You know, I spent a little time over there. 351 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,418 Army. 352 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,215 Your mom's name isn't Kim-Lee, is it? 353 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,803 No. Sir. 354 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,100 Good. 355 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,895 I mean, you know, it's a small country. 356 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:18,935 (chuckles): So... 357 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,391 Mary, how's that food coming? 358 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,350 MARY: Almost. 359 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,568 So, Vietnam, like in Rambo. 360 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,687 - Yes. - That's a cool movie. 361 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:26,692 Yes. 362 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:27,861 Are you in it? 363 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,904 - No. - Hmm. 364 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,949 Why would you think you knew his mom? 365 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:34,742 MARY: All right, Tam. 366 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,700 I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner. 367 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,376 Barbecued chicken and brisket. 368 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,373 Thank you. 369 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:41,999 Well, I figured you were probably tired 370 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,002 of stuff wiggling around on your plate. 371 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,125 Okay, let's say grace. 372 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,551 Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus," 373 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,845 feel free to say the word "Buddha" in your head. 374 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,046 I'm actually Catholic. 375 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,924 Oh. Well, that's too bad. 376 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:55,760 Thank you, God, for this food, 377 00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,139 and bless the hands that prepared it. 378 00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:00,348 And thank you so much for Sheldon's new friend. 379 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,977 ALL: Amen. 380 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,235 So, Tam, tell us about your family. 381 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,857 What brings y'all to Texas? 382 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,939 Well, after the American War... 383 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,274 You mean the Vietnam War. 384 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:11,825 We call it the American War. 385 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,110 - Hmm. - Anyway, 386 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,945 after the war, my father was sent 387 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,325 to a reeducation camp 388 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,622 because he fought on the wrong side. 389 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:18,699 You mean our side. 390 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,292 I was trying to be nice. 391 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,211 So, for many years, 392 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,880 my mother and my sisters and I 393 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:25,956 were very poor 394 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,418 and very often didn't have much to eat. 395 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,502 Then, when he was released... 396 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,553 What'd they teach him at the reeducation camp? 397 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,846 How to be a communist. 398 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,515 Cool, like in Rambo. 399 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:36,682 (chuckles nervously) 400 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,135 When he was released, 401 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,220 we escaped on a small boat 402 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,899 and spent many weeks at sea dodging Cambodian pirates 403 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,442 until we reached Thailand. 404 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,400 Oh, that's supposed to be a beautiful country. 405 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,738 - Lovely beaches. - TAM: I wouldn't know. 406 00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,154 We were forced to live in a refugee camp, 407 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,116 where the only thing we had to eat were pigeons and rats. 408 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,580 Ha! That's a job for hot sauce. 409 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:01,291 Finally, 410 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,206 we were allowed to come to United States 411 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,128 and start over in Galveston. 412 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,922 My father saved money and bought his own shrimp boat. 413 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,842 There's a happy ending. Huh? 414 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,840 See, kids? When the going gets tough, 415 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,047 - America provides. - TAM: It did. 416 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,100 Until the Ku Klux Klan burned our boat 417 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,643 and chased us away. 418 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,103 You gonna put a good spin on that one? 419 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:23,814 So we came to Medford 420 00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,857 and opened up a convenience store. 421 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,560 My parents work 16 hours a day, 422 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,520 seven days a week 423 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,447 for very little money. 424 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,909 Well, that was depressing. 425 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,797 I don't understand why it didn't launch. 426 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:49,998 Me, neither. 427 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:53,256 Evil Nazi scientists did it 50 years ago. 428 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:54,924 How hard could it be? 429 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,095 (doorbell rings) 430 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,142 Can I help you? 431 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,562 Sorry to bother you, ma'am. FBI. 432 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,639 We're looking for a Sheldon Lee Cooper. 433 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:07,808 George! 434 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,609 GEORGE SR.: I'm on the can. 435 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,273 - Now! - (door opens) 436 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,065 - What? - These gentlemen 437 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,900 are with the FBI. They want to talk to Sheldon. 438 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:18,652 What? 439 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:19,907 We... Uh... 440 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,114 Y-You fellas must have made a mistake. 441 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,244 Sheldon's nine. 442 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,540 Well, someone living at this address 443 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,994 recently called a mining operation in Canada 444 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,374 and tried to buy uranium. 445 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:30,380 Okay, maybe it's not a mistake. 446 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,002 It's ridiculous. 447 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:33,337 Let's just go talk to him. 448 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,134 Huh? 449 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,177 He's just a little, itty-bitty thing. 450 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,550 Really, he's harmless. 451 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,597 SHELDON: Sorry! 452 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,679 He's in the garage.