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♪ Spirit of my silence ♪
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♪ I can hear you ♪
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♪ But I'm afraid to be near you ♪
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♪ And I don't know ♪
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♪ Where to begin ♪
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Okay, I'm ready.
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REBECCA: You promise you like your gift?
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The towel? It's absolutely terrible.
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Suit's on?
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- Yes, ma'am.
- Your birthday suit.
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Only one I've got.
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(CHUCKLES)
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I had to put the lingerie
on top of my clothes.
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I see that.
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It wasn't a great moment for me.
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Tradition is tradition.
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Yeah. But I'm gonna go ahead
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and spare us both the
seductive birthday dance
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- this year.
- I'm sorry, baby, but it's my birthday,
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and I would really, really
like to see the dance.
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(CHUCKLES)
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Your funeral.
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- Mm-hmm.
- (SCOFFS)
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- Ready?
- Mm-hmm.
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(HUMMING, GRUNTS)
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(HUMMING) You like it,
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- right?
- (LAUGHS)
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This is what you want.
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A little of that.
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A little of that, for you?
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- (LAUGHING)
- I will gag
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you dead with that towel.
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Okay, okay.
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- I'm quiet.
- Come on.
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♪ Amethyst and flowers on the table ♪
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♪ Is it real or a fable? ♪
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♪ Well, I suppose ♪
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- ♪ A friend is a friend ♪
- (SIGHS)
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♪ And we all know ♪
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♪ How this will end ♪
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You suck.
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♪ What is that song ♪
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♪ You sing for the dead? ♪
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♪ I see the signal searchlight ♪
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- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- ♪ Strike me in the window ♪
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♪ Of... ♪
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- (DOOR OPENS)
- WOMAN: Got a sec, boss?
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Yeah. What's up?
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ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
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♪ Happy birthday ♪
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- (QUIETLY): Yeah...
- ♪ To you ♪
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- (CHUCKLES)
- ♪ Happy... ♪
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♪ I forgive you, Mother,
I can hear you ♪
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♪ And I long to be near you ♪
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- WOMAN: We love your show.
- Huh?
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Do you want to dance?
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Uh-uh. No. But, um,
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you know, you go ahead.
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It's my birthday today.
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36 today.
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- You don't look 36.
- Yeah, I do.
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REBECCA: ♪ Happy 36th birthday to you ♪
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♪ Happy 36th birthday to you ♪
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♪ I have triplets inside of me ♪
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♪ I am Shamu ♪
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♪ We all know how this will end ♪
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Hey, Big Three, do you three know
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how much I love your mother?
I mean, do you even have
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- any idea?
- (BABY VOICE): Yeah, we do. Now shut up
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- and let your fat-ass wife go to sleep.
- No.
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No, no, no. Birthday tradition
is birthday tradition.
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(CHUCKLES) So close your eyes in
there, kids, because Daddy's about
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to do some real terrible
things to Mommy.
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(CHUCKLES)
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♪ I see the signal
searchlight strike me ♪
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♪ In the window ♪
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♪ Of my room ♪
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♪ Chimney swift that finds me ♪
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♪ Be my keeper ♪
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♪ Silhouette of the cedar ♪
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♪ What is that song ♪
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♪ You sing for the dead? ♪
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- ♪ What is that song ♪
- (SHOUTS)
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- (CHUCKLES)
- ♪ You sing for the dead? ♪
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How could you possibly
want me right now?
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In any state, my wife, you arouse me.
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I bet I can make that go away.
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- There's nothing you can say that's...
- My water just broke.
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(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY)
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- Yep.
- Yeah.
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- ♪
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
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♪ My hands to myself ♪
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♪ Can't keep my hands... ♪
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You know when I think it all
went wrong for me was 1986,
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second grade. They were sending
the Challenger up into space.
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You remember the Challenger, right?
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- Yeah. With Sandra Bullock?
- No.
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Christa McAuliffe, right?
She was gonna be
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the first teacher into space.
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She was actually gonna change the world.
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I don't know how, but you
could feel that, you know?
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At least, in second grade, you could...
you could feel it.
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Middle of the school day,
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the teacher brings in a TV, right?
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We're all just sitting
there, watching the launch,
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a bunch of seven-year-olds
just-just watchin'.
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And all of a sudden, boom! (GASPS)
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The whole thing explodes.
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Little pieces of sweet Christa McAuliffe
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come raining down all over
the state of Florida.
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It was awful.
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Maybe that's when I realized
trying to change the world
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just leads to being blown up
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into little pieces all over Florida.
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Maybe that's how I wound
up as the Man-ny.
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(PHONE BUZZING)
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It's my sister.
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Kate?
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You... you didn't have any ice, so...
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Well, this is a low point.
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We're 36.
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We're officially late 30s.
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Like, we are deep in the threes.
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Yep.
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(SCOFFS)
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How did I get here?
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Like, how the hell did I get here?
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Remember second grade, the
Challenger explosion?
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You have got to stop with
the Challenger explosion.
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There's something there.
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You're the only good
thing in my life, Kev.
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- I'm not that great. Come on.
- I know.
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That's what makes it worse.
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(CHUCKLES)
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I had this...
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whole dream life that I
envisioned for myself.
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- A real career.
- (CHUCKLES)
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I would marry a man like Dad.
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I would be a mom like Mom.
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But look at me, Kev.
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Like, I ate my dream life away.
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(SNIFFLES) So what do you... what
do you want me to say to you, huh?
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Wh-What... Give me the
magic phrase, sis, to say
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to make you feel better and I'll say it.
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Tell me to quit feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know.
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Tell me to wake the hell up. Tell me,
tell me to lose the damn weight.
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Quit feeling sorry for yourself.
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All right? That can start right now.
Wake the hell up.
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And-and, you know...
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the... What was the...
what was the third thing?
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Lose the damn weight.
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You want to say that again?
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I'm gonna lose the damn weight.
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(SIGHS)
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You are a lot smarter than you look.
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That's what Michael Bay told me.
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- ♪
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
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- Here you go.
- Oh, yeah.
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Thank you. (EXHALES)
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Hey, do you realize me and the kids
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- are gonna have the same birthday?
- (CHUCKLES) I know.
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Yeah.
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Still, six weeks early
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- is pretty early.
- Yeah.
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I know.
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(EXHALES)
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What the hell could this
thing possibly be for?
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It's for rectal examinations.
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That one's from the dirty pile.
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Sorry.
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Now, then, I'm Dr. Katowski,
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but you can call me Doc or Dr. K,
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which is what most people choose to do
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- because it's folksy.
- Oh,
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so you work with Dr. Schneider?
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Take a breath for me, dear.
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- (EXHALES)
- Deep breath, now.
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There you go.
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All right. You relaxed?
Good, good, good.
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Dr. Schneider's appendix burst
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an hour ago. He just went
into surgery. No, no,
189
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- no, no, no. Now, stay with me.
- Oh, God. No, I need Dr. Schneider
190
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- 'cause he knows about...
- Stay with me now.
191
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Between his screams of agony, Schneider
192
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brought me up to speed on
everything concerning your case.
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I know all about these
triplets, and I know that this
194
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- is a high-risk pregnancy.
- Yeah.
195
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But everything's gonna be all right.
196
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This is some kind of bad joke, right?
197
00:09:00,953 --> 00:09:02,921
It is not, unfortunately.
198
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Now, sweetheart, I'm gonna get
straight to your first concern.
199
00:09:06,759 --> 00:09:08,627
- Look at me now. Look at me.
- (PANTING)
200
00:09:08,661 --> 00:09:12,063
- Do you see me? I am 73 years old.
- Yeah.
201
00:09:12,098 --> 00:09:14,599
- You know what that means, don't you?
- No.
202
00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:18,870
That means I don't run wind
sprints as fast as I used to,
203
00:09:18,905 --> 00:09:22,774
but my faculties are
otherwise completely intact.
204
00:09:22,808 --> 00:09:25,377
There are days that I wish they weren't,
205
00:09:25,411 --> 00:09:28,580
because then I would retire
and spend my remaining days
206
00:09:28,614 --> 00:09:31,082
doing something more glamorous
than pulling eight-pound objects
207
00:09:31,117 --> 00:09:32,651
out of women's vaginas.
208
00:09:32,685 --> 00:09:34,319
But until that time,
209
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I keep showing up here every day.
210
00:09:36,589 --> 00:09:38,623
All right?
211
00:09:38,658 --> 00:09:41,960
I'm also aware that I'm a
complete stranger to you,
212
00:09:41,994 --> 00:09:44,596
and this is the biggest moment
213
00:09:44,630 --> 00:09:46,598
- of your life.
- Yeah.
214
00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:50,101
- All right? Honey, listen to me,
- Yeah.
215
00:09:50,136 --> 00:09:52,604
I am the best of the best.
216
00:09:52,638 --> 00:09:56,007
And I swear to you, on
the lives of my children
217
00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:59,010
and my grandchildren,
that I am up to the task.
218
00:09:59,045 --> 00:10:01,947
- All right? All right.
- Okay.
219
00:10:01,981 --> 00:10:04,182
- Thank you.
- All right.
220
00:10:04,216 --> 00:10:05,850
Good.
221
00:10:05,885 --> 00:10:08,019
Now, which one of you's pregnant?
222
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,376
Now, that was a bad joke, but
223
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:13,792
you just continue to take
those deep breaths...
224
00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:16,500
Let's see... let me see if
any of my people are here.
225
00:10:16,529 --> 00:10:18,931
Let me take a little test.
Sheket bevakasha!
226
00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:21,967
- (SCATTERED HEYS)
- Jew! Jew!
227
00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:23,135
Jew!
228
00:10:23,169 --> 00:10:25,671
All right, hey! Come on!
229
00:10:25,705 --> 00:10:26,939
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
230
00:10:26,973 --> 00:10:28,941
And... action!
231
00:10:28,975 --> 00:10:31,143
- ♪
- (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
232
00:10:31,177 --> 00:10:33,479
Huh? Huh?
233
00:10:33,513 --> 00:10:35,881
What can I do to make
you feel better, huh?
234
00:10:35,915 --> 00:10:37,483
You want me to breastfeed you?
Would that make you feel better,
235
00:10:37,517 --> 00:10:38,484
if I breastfed ya?
236
00:10:38,518 --> 00:10:39,818
(LAUGHTER)
237
00:10:39,853 --> 00:10:41,220
Yeah? Here we go. Let's try to...
238
00:10:41,254 --> 00:10:44,890
(LAUGHTER, WHOOPING)
239
00:10:50,029 --> 00:10:52,097
I'm-I'm sorry, guys. I need to cut.
Uh...
240
00:10:52,132 --> 00:10:53,665
MAN: Sorry, everybody. A
little technical difficulty.
241
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:56,401
- Who wants a T-shirt?
- (CHEERING)
242
00:10:56,436 --> 00:10:59,071
- Hey, man.
- What's up?
243
00:10:59,105 --> 00:11:01,573
I'm sorry. You know, I'm trying
to understand, for my character,
244
00:11:01,608 --> 00:11:04,576
you know, um, are-are we
suggesting, you know,
245
00:11:04,611 --> 00:11:07,746
that the Man-ny thinks a grown
man can breastfeed a baby?
246
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:10,849
Are we saying the Man-ny's got brain
damage? 'Cause I could do a voice.
247
00:11:10,884 --> 00:11:13,160
Kevin, I know you care. I know
you care about the character.
248
00:11:13,185 --> 00:11:14,518
I do care about the character.
Thank you.
249
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,755
I also know that you're a
30-something-year-old actor
250
00:11:16,789 --> 00:11:19,591
whose biggest previous role was a
three-episode arc on Nashville.
251
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:22,294
So say the line or find another job.
252
00:11:22,328 --> 00:11:24,930
Because trust me when I say
that I'll have you replaced
253
00:11:24,964 --> 00:11:26,932
by Ryan Gosling, Ryan
Phillippe, or Ryan Reynolds
254
00:11:26,966 --> 00:11:29,601
or any other handsome Ryan by
the time you get to your car.
255
00:11:29,636 --> 00:11:32,738
And believe me, my ratings will go up.
256
00:11:34,407 --> 00:11:36,175
Ryan Gosling would never do this crap.
257
00:11:36,209 --> 00:11:37,543
You are right, Kevin.
258
00:11:37,577 --> 00:11:40,712
Ryan Gosling would never do this crap.
259
00:11:40,747 --> 00:11:42,681
Remember that.
260
00:11:46,653 --> 00:11:48,654
RANDALL: Come on, Annie!
261
00:11:48,688 --> 00:11:50,189
Go get the ball, hon!
262
00:11:50,223 --> 00:11:51,769
Hi, Daddy!
263
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,095
Hi, sweetheart! There's the ball!
264
00:11:54,661 --> 00:11:56,562
You want to play soccer?
265
00:11:56,596 --> 00:11:59,398
- It...
- How's she doing?
266
00:11:59,432 --> 00:12:02,401
Uh, I think she's saving
it for the second half.
267
00:12:02,435 --> 00:12:04,069
How's about her?
268
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:06,104
(GRUNTING)
269
00:12:06,139 --> 00:12:08,840
- Four boys crying and counting.
- That's my little badass.
270
00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:11,210
- Switch?
- Switch.
271
00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:16,114
- Is that a... Aw.
- French braid. Yes.
272
00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:19,250
- Over, under, back through, baby!
- (LAUGHS)
273
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:21,720
- Hi, Mommy!
- All right, well, she made a friend.
274
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:25,657
I found him.
275
00:12:25,692 --> 00:12:27,292
My father.
276
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:29,261
What? When?
277
00:12:29,295 --> 00:12:31,663
I, uh... I hired a guy.
278
00:12:31,698 --> 00:12:33,699
It cost about 1,500 bucks.
279
00:12:33,733 --> 00:12:36,335
Now, I paid for it on the Amex.
You're gonna see it.
280
00:12:36,369 --> 00:12:37,912
It's the personal Amex,
not the business Amex.
281
00:12:37,936 --> 00:12:39,139
- I don't care about the Amex.
- I know, I know.
282
00:12:40,673 --> 00:12:41,840
So you're gonna...
283
00:12:41,874 --> 00:12:44,276
- No.
- Why not?
284
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:46,612
Because she was a crack addict
who died during childbirth,
285
00:12:46,646 --> 00:12:48,814
and he was the guy who
left me at a fire station,
286
00:12:48,848 --> 00:12:51,650
probably because he couldn't
think of anything more cliché.
287
00:12:51,684 --> 00:12:53,452
So why'd you find him?
288
00:12:54,787 --> 00:12:57,389
I don't know, Beth.
289
00:12:57,423 --> 00:12:59,758
I really don't know.
290
00:13:02,962 --> 00:13:04,463
(GROANS)
291
00:13:04,497 --> 00:13:05,564
- Oh! Go!
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
292
00:13:05,598 --> 00:13:06,665
Way to go, Tess!
293
00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:08,467
- BETH: Sportsmanship, baby!
- (SQUEALS)
294
00:13:25,918 --> 00:13:27,627
KATE: Excuse me.
295
00:13:28,324 --> 00:13:30,191
Do you mind?
296
00:13:36,836 --> 00:13:38,737
(GAGS)
297
00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:42,858
...and so, I said to myself, "Tanya,
298
00:13:42,901 --> 00:13:45,169
"you have done what you
have set out to do.
299
00:13:45,203 --> 00:13:47,004
"You have lost the weight.
300
00:13:47,039 --> 00:13:51,742
And now you can help others
be skinny like you."
301
00:13:51,777 --> 00:13:54,745
(APPLAUSE)
302
00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:57,281
So, who would like to share first?
303
00:13:57,315 --> 00:13:59,784
Every time I'm going on a diet,
304
00:13:59,818 --> 00:14:01,585
he sabotages me.
305
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:04,021
Well, my husband found me
eating out of the fridge
306
00:14:04,056 --> 00:14:06,691
in the middle of the night
again the other night.
307
00:14:06,725 --> 00:14:08,726
(SIGHS)
308
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,094
I'm trying.
309
00:14:10,128 --> 00:14:12,930
I'm not sabotaging you, Marsha.
310
00:14:12,964 --> 00:14:15,866
I know I don't have the same
issues as everyone here.
311
00:14:15,901 --> 00:14:19,303
But you guys don't know what
it's like looking like me
312
00:14:19,337 --> 00:14:21,672
and carrying around that extra
seven pounds in your midsection.
313
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:29,980
WOMAN: For me,
314
00:14:30,015 --> 00:14:32,083
it was my mom.
315
00:14:32,117 --> 00:14:33,718
She never let us eat pizza.
316
00:14:33,752 --> 00:14:37,655
And so now, every time I see a pizza,
317
00:14:37,689 --> 00:14:40,491
(CRYING): I mean, I have
to eat the entire thing.
318
00:14:40,525 --> 00:14:42,660
If this doesn't work, I might just
319
00:14:42,694 --> 00:14:44,745
have my stomach stapled
and just be done with...
320
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:45,453
(LAUGHS)
321
00:14:46,765 --> 00:14:47,932
(CLEARS THROAT)
322
00:14:49,735 --> 00:14:52,703
I am sor... I'm sorry.
323
00:14:52,738 --> 00:14:54,371
(LAUGHING)
324
00:14:54,406 --> 00:14:56,040
I was just... I was
picturing the stapler.
325
00:14:56,074 --> 00:14:57,675
(CHUCKLES) And it's...
326
00:14:57,709 --> 00:15:00,010
which is totally inappropriate.
327
00:15:00,045 --> 00:15:02,947
I apologize.
328
00:15:02,981 --> 00:15:04,415
I'm way fatter than you if it...
329
00:15:04,449 --> 00:15:05,683
- means anything.
- (CHUCKLES)
330
00:15:05,717 --> 00:15:07,284
(GIGGLES)
331
00:15:14,326 --> 00:15:17,094
Mmm, coffee.
332
00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:18,996
Hi.
333
00:15:20,432 --> 00:15:23,601
Boy, these people hate me.
334
00:15:23,635 --> 00:15:25,369
You kind of crossed the line.
335
00:15:25,403 --> 00:15:27,772
Yeah, you laughed.
336
00:15:27,806 --> 00:15:29,807
- That's because I live across the line.
- Oh!
337
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:32,143
(LAUGHING): Okay.
338
00:15:32,177 --> 00:15:33,410
Toby.
339
00:15:33,445 --> 00:15:34,779
Kate.
340
00:15:34,813 --> 00:15:36,046
Yeah.
341
00:15:36,081 --> 00:15:37,481
Nice to meet you.
342
00:15:37,516 --> 00:15:39,717
So, you want to be fat friends?
343
00:15:39,751 --> 00:15:42,119
(LAUGHS)
344
00:15:42,154 --> 00:15:43,921
Sure.
345
00:15:43,955 --> 00:15:46,023
- But I'm gonna lose the weight.
- You know,
346
00:15:46,057 --> 00:15:48,692
I'm probably not.
347
00:15:48,727 --> 00:15:50,628
Okay.
348
00:15:55,901 --> 00:15:57,635
I can't fall for a fat person right now.
349
00:15:59,304 --> 00:16:01,172
Well...
350
00:16:01,206 --> 00:16:02,573
I guess I'll lose the weight then.
351
00:16:08,914 --> 00:16:10,748
Breathe, Bec. Breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe. (GROANING)
352
00:16:10,782 --> 00:16:12,683
- Breathe. Breathe.
- (BLOWS OUT)
353
00:16:12,717 --> 00:16:14,118
Deep breath, Bec.
354
00:16:14,152 --> 00:16:15,452
Deep breath, deep breath.
355
00:16:15,487 --> 00:16:17,922
Deep breathe, look at me, deep breathe.
356
00:16:17,956 --> 00:16:19,290
- There you go.
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
357
00:16:19,324 --> 00:16:20,791
There you go, almost done, almost done.
358
00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,626
(BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY)
359
00:16:22,661 --> 00:16:25,796
There you go. Hey, there you go.
360
00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:28,799
Baby, I'm sorry for anything I'm
gonna say in the next two hours.
361
00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:30,401
I mean none of it.
362
00:16:30,435 --> 00:16:32,803
- You're gonna mean some of it.
- Very little of it.
363
00:16:32,838 --> 00:16:33,538
Fair enough.
364
00:16:33,563 --> 00:16:35,639
I'm almost glad Schneider's
appendix burst.
365
00:16:35,674 --> 00:16:36,907
I like you two.
366
00:16:36,942 --> 00:16:41,278
Now since I'm new here, I thought
we might have a conversation now
367
00:16:41,313 --> 00:16:43,380
before things get more intense.
368
00:16:43,415 --> 00:16:45,516
Yeah, that sounds nice.
369
00:16:45,550 --> 00:16:47,084
So, you said you have grandchildren?
370
00:16:47,118 --> 00:16:48,752
Not that kind of conversation.
371
00:16:48,787 --> 00:16:52,356
Now. I know that Dr. Schneider talked to
you about the positioning of the babies,
372
00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:54,692
and how complicated this
delivery could get.
373
00:16:54,726 --> 00:16:55,451
I thought we should...
374
00:16:55,476 --> 00:16:57,428
I'm sorry, no, we're not gonna
have this conversation.
375
00:16:57,462 --> 00:16:59,830
- Jack, we need to have this...
- We're not having this conversation
376
00:16:59,865 --> 00:17:02,099
- because it's not gonna happen.
- Well, we need to talk about...
377
00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:03,567
We are walking out of this hospital with
378
00:17:03,602 --> 00:17:05,536
three healthy babies
and one healthy wife.
379
00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:07,104
- Absolutely, but we still...
- I have three cribs
380
00:17:07,138 --> 00:17:10,541
at our new home that
we bought specifically
381
00:17:10,575 --> 00:17:13,043
- for our three children to grow up in.
- I understand.
382
00:17:13,078 --> 00:17:15,330
My-my mother, my mother has
already knitted three onesies.
383
00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:16,080
I know.
384
00:17:16,114 --> 00:17:19,183
And she's a slow, no-talent knitter.
385
00:17:19,217 --> 00:17:22,953
It's also happens to be my
birthday today, which tends to be
386
00:17:22,988 --> 00:17:25,422
a pretty great day in our house,
a day when I get pretty lucky.
387
00:17:25,457 --> 00:17:27,124
(CHUCKLES)
388
00:17:27,158 --> 00:17:29,293
So I'm gonna need everyone
in this room to believe me
389
00:17:29,327 --> 00:17:33,397
when I say that only good things
are gonna happen here today.
390
00:17:33,431 --> 00:17:34,932
Actually...
391
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:38,035
I-I don't just want you to believe it.
392
00:17:38,069 --> 00:17:40,804
I want you to know it.
393
00:17:40,839 --> 00:17:42,373
Do you know it, baby?
394
00:17:43,775 --> 00:17:45,910
I love you.
395
00:17:45,944 --> 00:17:47,645
Yeah, I know it.
396
00:17:47,679 --> 00:17:48,779
I know it.
397
00:17:50,115 --> 00:17:51,849
Do you know it, Doc?
398
00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:57,254
I know I like you.
399
00:17:59,391 --> 00:18:02,393
Let's just start there,
get you what you want.
400
00:18:03,695 --> 00:18:04,895
(EXHALES)
401
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:06,096
Okay.
402
00:18:11,136 --> 00:18:12,903
Hey, clear my afternoon?
403
00:18:12,938 --> 00:18:15,265
WOMAN (OVER INTERCOM):
But sir, what about...?
404
00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:16,064
Thanks.
405
00:18:27,752 --> 00:18:30,087
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
406
00:18:30,121 --> 00:18:32,089
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
407
00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:34,625
MAN: Yeah, yeah.
408
00:18:34,659 --> 00:18:36,393
Stop all that banging, I
heard you the first time,
409
00:18:36,428 --> 00:18:37,628
banging on the door.
410
00:18:37,662 --> 00:18:39,229
Who the hell is...
411
00:18:39,264 --> 00:18:42,066
My name is Randall Peasing.
I'm your biological son.
412
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:44,735
36 years ago you left
me at the front door...
413
00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:46,971
No, hold on, just let me say this.
414
00:18:47,005 --> 00:18:50,674
36 years ago you left me at the
front door of a fire station.
415
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:51,909
Now, don't worry, I'm not here
416
00:18:51,943 --> 00:18:53,077
because I want anything from you.
417
00:18:53,111 --> 00:18:55,713
I was raised by two incredible parents,
418
00:18:55,747 --> 00:18:58,716
I have a lights out
family of my own, and...
419
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:01,218
that car you see parked out
in front of your house?
420
00:19:01,252 --> 00:19:04,888
Cost $143,000 and I bought it for cash.
421
00:19:04,923 --> 00:19:07,891
I bought it for cash
because I felt like it,
422
00:19:07,926 --> 00:19:09,994
and because I can do stuff like that.
423
00:19:10,028 --> 00:19:13,364
Yeah, you see, I turned
out pretty all right.
424
00:19:13,398 --> 00:19:15,065
Which might surprise a lot of folks
425
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,101
considering the fact that 36 years ago
426
00:19:17,135 --> 00:19:20,404
my life started with you leaving
me on a fire station doorstep
427
00:19:20,438 --> 00:19:22,506
with nothing more than a ratty blanket
428
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:24,842
and a crap-filled diaper.
429
00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:29,279
I came here today so I
could look you in the eye,
430
00:19:29,314 --> 00:19:32,683
say that to you, and then get
back in my fancy-ass car
431
00:19:32,717 --> 00:19:35,552
and finally prove to myself, and to you,
432
00:19:35,587 --> 00:19:36,887
and to my family who loves me,
433
00:19:36,921 --> 00:19:39,390
that I didn't need a thing from you,
434
00:19:39,424 --> 00:19:41,625
even after I knew who you were.
435
00:19:42,961 --> 00:19:46,296
- You want to come in?
- Okay.
436
00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:58,834
So is there something
you want to say to me?
437
00:19:58,858 --> 00:20:00,826
'Cause otherwise, I
really need to get going.
438
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:02,494
You want me to say something?
439
00:20:02,529 --> 00:20:04,296
No, I told you, I don't
want anything from you.
440
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:06,398
- But you're here.
- Just to tell you that.
441
00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:08,300
Well...
442
00:20:08,334 --> 00:20:10,569
I've been told.
443
00:20:10,603 --> 00:20:13,639
You know what? If you're just
gonna sit here making excuses...
444
00:20:13,673 --> 00:20:16,108
- Didn't make any excuses.
- Because there's nothing you can say.
445
00:20:16,142 --> 00:20:18,477
Didn't say anything
for just that reason.
446
00:20:22,715 --> 00:20:26,785
Seems to me you want me to try
to make amends so you can say,
447
00:20:26,820 --> 00:20:29,288
- "Screw you," and storm out of here.
- That's ridiculous.
448
00:20:29,322 --> 00:20:31,657
Okay.
449
00:20:36,154 --> 00:20:39,757
I'd like to say I
remember that day, but...
450
00:20:39,791 --> 00:20:41,158
I barely do.
451
00:20:42,794 --> 00:20:44,762
I'm clean now, finally, but...
452
00:20:44,796 --> 00:20:47,097
I was on the streets then.
453
00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:51,168
I remember her dying,
454
00:20:51,202 --> 00:20:54,104
your mom, remember the baby.
455
00:20:56,775 --> 00:21:00,444
I'd like to say I remember
leaving you at a fire station,
456
00:21:00,478 --> 00:21:01,912
but I don't.
457
00:21:01,946 --> 00:21:03,514
Not an excuse.
458
00:21:03,548 --> 00:21:05,916
In fact, it probably tells
you something about me
459
00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:08,652
that I don't remember.
460
00:21:11,623 --> 00:21:13,624
I do like fire stations, though,
461
00:21:13,658 --> 00:21:15,626
so that sounds like something I'd do
462
00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:17,961
if I had to do something, you know?
463
00:21:21,199 --> 00:21:23,600
Anyway, I don't know if that's
what you're looking for,
464
00:21:23,635 --> 00:21:25,402
but either way, you can be sure
465
00:21:25,437 --> 00:21:27,071
this life of mine is punishment enough
466
00:21:27,105 --> 00:21:28,672
for the things I've done.
467
00:21:28,707 --> 00:21:31,275
- If you think I'm gonna forgive you...
- I don't.
468
00:21:31,309 --> 00:21:32,910
No, you were right. I did just want
469
00:21:32,944 --> 00:21:34,344
to say, "Screw you,"
and storm out of here.
470
00:21:34,379 --> 00:21:37,381
- Well, go ahead.
- Screw you.
471
00:21:37,415 --> 00:21:38,782
Yup.
472
00:21:41,252 --> 00:21:43,587
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
473
00:21:46,891 --> 00:21:48,492
You want to meet your grandchildren?
474
00:21:50,628 --> 00:21:52,830
I'll get my coat.
475
00:21:54,165 --> 00:21:55,966
Hey, kid.
476
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,968
Hey. Alan.
477
00:21:58,002 --> 00:21:59,470
All right. Hey, thanks
for doing this, man.
478
00:21:59,504 --> 00:22:00,871
- Oh.
- I really appreciate it.
479
00:22:00,905 --> 00:22:03,540
Oh, please. No thanks necessary.
480
00:22:03,575 --> 00:22:07,244
Trust me: they're paying
me an absolute fortune.
481
00:22:07,278 --> 00:22:08,579
- (CHUCKLES)
- I'm sure.
482
00:22:08,613 --> 00:22:10,147
Great scene for you, by the way.
483
00:22:10,181 --> 00:22:11,315
- You know?
- Yeah.
484
00:22:11,349 --> 00:22:13,317
Tell ya what, when the prick
wants to, he can actually write.
485
00:22:13,351 --> 00:22:15,119
Yeah. Well,
486
00:22:15,153 --> 00:22:16,620
I'll see you out there
on the playing field.
487
00:22:16,654 --> 00:22:18,222
- All right.
- Break a leg, kid.
488
00:22:18,256 --> 00:22:19,556
Thank you, sir.
489
00:22:19,591 --> 00:22:21,759
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
490
00:22:21,793 --> 00:22:23,160
Hey!
491
00:22:23,194 --> 00:22:25,929
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
the great Alan Thicke!
492
00:22:25,964 --> 00:22:29,299
And... action.
493
00:22:29,334 --> 00:22:32,636
ALAN: Oh, for God's sake, I'm just
trying to lighten up the situation here.
494
00:22:32,670 --> 00:22:34,071
No, I get it. That's what you do, right?
495
00:22:34,105 --> 00:22:35,105
My lightweight dad.
496
00:22:35,140 --> 00:22:36,507
- Son...
- Don't call me "son."
497
00:22:36,541 --> 00:22:38,509
Just go. Just do your
thing, get out of here.
498
00:22:38,543 --> 00:22:41,111
- Come on, son...
- I said don't call me "son."
499
00:22:41,146 --> 00:22:46,250
I-I look at that little girl,
I would do anything for her.
500
00:22:46,284 --> 00:22:47,785
You understand? Y-You show me a train,
501
00:22:47,819 --> 00:22:50,854
I'll jump in front of it
for her, no question.
502
00:22:50,889 --> 00:22:52,856
And she's not even mine.
503
00:22:52,891 --> 00:22:55,626
I mean, you... you mosey
in and out of my life
504
00:22:55,660 --> 00:22:57,728
the past 30 years like
the way you have, I...
505
00:22:57,762 --> 00:22:59,797
I don't understand that and
I'll never understand you,
506
00:22:59,831 --> 00:23:01,265
so just get the hell out of here.
507
00:23:03,001 --> 00:23:04,334
Just get out.
508
00:23:08,139 --> 00:23:09,740
I want you to get out and this time,
509
00:23:09,774 --> 00:23:11,441
I want you to stay the
hell out of my life, okay?
510
00:23:13,311 --> 00:23:14,478
- Son...
- Leave!
511
00:23:22,287 --> 00:23:23,520
And cut!
512
00:23:24,989 --> 00:23:27,324
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS SOFTLY)
513
00:23:27,358 --> 00:23:30,661
(APPLAUSE GROWS LOUDER, AUDIENCE CHEERS)
514
00:23:32,463 --> 00:23:35,365
(QUIETLY): Thank you.
515
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,601
All right, they must think we did it.
516
00:23:37,635 --> 00:23:38,735
- You did it.
- Thank you.
517
00:23:38,770 --> 00:23:40,003
You were fa... you killed.
518
00:23:40,038 --> 00:23:41,371
- Thank you for being here.
- Excellent.
519
00:23:41,406 --> 00:23:42,840
Hey, may I have the envelope, please?
520
00:23:42,874 --> 00:23:44,441
- Oh, come on.
- (CHUCKLES)
521
00:23:44,475 --> 00:23:45,776
There, what are you doing,
come on, get in here.
522
00:23:45,810 --> 00:23:47,911
See, I told you, right? I told you!
523
00:23:47,946 --> 00:23:49,012
That's so good, Kevin.
524
00:23:49,047 --> 00:23:50,013
- Oh...
- (SIGHS) That felt good.
525
00:23:50,048 --> 00:23:51,114
Now all we need to do is just
526
00:23:51,149 --> 00:23:52,349
take a quick whack at the alt pass, huh?
527
00:23:52,383 --> 00:23:53,750
Oh, come on, we don't need an alt pass,
528
00:23:53,785 --> 00:23:54,751
what are you talking about?
Why would you...
529
00:23:54,786 --> 00:23:55,786
wh-wh-what, for what?
530
00:23:55,820 --> 00:23:57,754
Kevin, come on, we talked about this.
531
00:23:57,789 --> 00:24:00,390
You know? I loved it...
I-I wrote it, you know?
532
00:24:00,425 --> 00:24:04,027
But, um, we just got to, we
got to get a lighter version.
533
00:24:04,062 --> 00:24:05,529
Come on.
534
00:24:05,563 --> 00:24:07,397
Let's get that alt.
535
00:24:07,432 --> 00:24:08,799
For me, okay?
536
00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:10,734
And, uh, lose the shirt.
537
00:24:10,768 --> 00:24:13,670
It's just better without the shirt.
538
00:24:18,443 --> 00:24:19,476
(DISTANT, ECHOING): I
hope you're hungry,
539
00:24:19,510 --> 00:24:20,777
'cause we got some pizza for you!
540
00:24:20,812 --> 00:24:22,579
(CHEERING)
541
00:24:22,614 --> 00:24:25,349
Everybody loves pizza!
542
00:24:33,157 --> 00:24:35,359
All right,
543
00:24:35,393 --> 00:24:36,793
- (MAN COUGHS)
- (SNIFFS)
544
00:24:46,037 --> 00:24:47,271
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
545
00:24:47,305 --> 00:24:49,172
No, it's okay. No, no.
Nobody be alarmed.
546
00:24:49,207 --> 00:24:50,741
Nobody be alarmed, this
isn't a real baby.
547
00:24:50,775 --> 00:24:51,775
This baby can't feel a thing,
548
00:24:51,809 --> 00:24:53,677
because everything's fake!
549
00:24:53,711 --> 00:24:56,179
God forbid we have real
emotion in this show.
550
00:24:56,214 --> 00:24:57,681
What do we got here?
551
00:24:57,715 --> 00:24:58,882
We got a real suitcase.
552
00:24:58,917 --> 00:25:00,550
Finally, we got something real.
553
00:25:00,585 --> 00:25:02,352
Oh, no, we don't! Look,
554
00:25:02,387 --> 00:25:04,421
there's nothing in the suitcase!
555
00:25:04,455 --> 00:25:06,556
Where the hell are you
going, Alan Thicke?!
556
00:25:06,591 --> 00:25:08,759
And what the hell are you gonna wear,
557
00:25:08,793 --> 00:25:10,861
when you get there?! Huh?
558
00:25:10,895 --> 00:25:12,529
He's got no clothes in the suitcase!
559
00:25:12,563 --> 00:25:13,864
You know what it is,
I'm starting to think
560
00:25:13,898 --> 00:25:16,066
about things now. It's actually...
Casey, it's not your fault, brother.
561
00:25:16,100 --> 00:25:18,268
It's not the writer's fault
this show is so bad.
562
00:25:18,303 --> 00:25:21,371
And it's so bad!
563
00:25:21,406 --> 00:25:23,206
It's not the network's
fault for airing it!
564
00:25:23,241 --> 00:25:24,808
It's you guys!
565
00:25:24,842 --> 00:25:26,777
- (AUDIENCE BOOS)
- Why are you watching this stuff?
566
00:25:26,811 --> 00:25:30,113
It's your fault for
demanding so little of us
567
00:25:30,148 --> 00:25:31,248
that we settle.
568
00:25:31,282 --> 00:25:33,250
I can't feel my face right now,
569
00:25:33,284 --> 00:25:34,551
but you know what?
570
00:25:34,585 --> 00:25:36,486
I knew exactly what this
job was when I took it.
571
00:25:36,521 --> 00:25:38,522
Shame on me for taking the money!
572
00:25:38,556 --> 00:25:40,490
Shame on you for making me famous!
573
00:25:40,525 --> 00:25:42,292
Shame on all of us!
574
00:25:44,062 --> 00:25:45,395
That's enough.
575
00:25:45,430 --> 00:25:46,563
- Hey...
- What are you...?
576
00:25:46,597 --> 00:25:49,032
(LAUGHING): I'm not gonna hit you, man.
577
00:25:49,067 --> 00:25:50,667
I'm not gonna hit you!
578
00:25:50,702 --> 00:25:52,936
What do you... you think
I'm some kind of animal?!
579
00:25:52,971 --> 00:25:54,271
I'm just gonna go nuts?!
580
00:25:54,305 --> 00:25:55,405
Listen,
581
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,175
Ryan Gosling may not do this crap,
582
00:25:58,209 --> 00:26:00,310
and neither will I.
583
00:26:02,413 --> 00:26:04,915
I quit...
584
00:26:04,949 --> 00:26:06,416
I quit.
585
00:26:07,552 --> 00:26:09,019
- (SNIFFLES)
- (DOOR OPENS)
586
00:26:09,053 --> 00:26:11,121
Great working with you, man.
I'm a huge fan.
587
00:26:11,155 --> 00:26:13,924
Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
588
00:26:19,097 --> 00:26:22,366
(SCREAMING)
589
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,068
All right, Rebecca, one
more big push, now.
590
00:26:25,103 --> 00:26:26,403
- (REBECCA EXHALES FORCEFULLY)
- There you go...
591
00:26:26,437 --> 00:26:28,438
- Keep pushing!
- Come on, Bec.
592
00:26:28,473 --> 00:26:29,539
All right!
593
00:26:29,574 --> 00:26:30,540
- (REBECCA EXHALES)
- All right.
594
00:26:30,575 --> 00:26:32,409
First male is out,
595
00:26:32,443 --> 00:26:33,443
and he is looking good!
596
00:26:33,478 --> 00:26:34,611
You hear that, baby?
597
00:26:34,645 --> 00:26:36,013
We got a boy! We got a boy!
598
00:26:36,047 --> 00:26:37,647
- (LAUGHS) We got a boy!
- All right.
599
00:26:37,682 --> 00:26:38,982
- (LAUGHS)
- Thank you, ma'am.
600
00:26:39,017 --> 00:26:39,983
- (GASPS)
- Baby?
601
00:26:40,018 --> 00:26:41,084
Something's not right.
602
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:42,085
(GASPS): There's something's not right.
603
00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:43,186
NURSE: Doctor?
604
00:26:43,221 --> 00:26:44,855
Some oxygen for her, please?
605
00:26:44,889 --> 00:26:48,025
Rebecca? You've done
real good, sweetheart,
606
00:26:48,059 --> 00:26:49,993
but we need to let you
get some rest right now
607
00:26:50,028 --> 00:26:51,528
and let's see if I can't
take it from here, okay?
608
00:26:51,562 --> 00:26:52,596
I'm sorry, what's happening?
609
00:26:52,630 --> 00:26:53,597
I'm gonna have to go in
610
00:26:53,631 --> 00:26:55,065
for the other two, people, let's go.
611
00:26:55,099 --> 00:26:56,733
Your wife is in distress, Jack.
612
00:26:56,768 --> 00:26:58,735
Now, right now, you
just need to trust me
613
00:26:58,770 --> 00:26:59,836
and get the hell out of my way.
614
00:26:59,871 --> 00:27:00,904
No, wait, but I'm...
615
00:27:00,938 --> 00:27:03,535
- Get him out of the room, now.
- NURSE: Stat.
616
00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:08,502
- RANDALL: Guys? (LAUGHS)
- Daddy!
617
00:27:09,227 --> 00:27:11,513
BETH: Hey, babe, I need you to
help Annie with her homework...
618
00:27:14,599 --> 00:27:16,467
(RANDALL SIGHS)
619
00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:18,002
Guys...
620
00:27:19,604 --> 00:27:22,039
...this is your, uh...
621
00:27:22,555 --> 00:27:23,555
William.
622
00:27:23,590 --> 00:27:24,664
This is William.
623
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,645
- ANNIE: Hi.
- TESS: Hi.
624
00:27:26,679 --> 00:27:27,646
William Hill.
625
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,915
Hi.
626
00:27:29,949 --> 00:27:32,317
I'm Beth. I'm sorry. I'm Beth.
627
00:27:32,352 --> 00:27:33,985
- It's a pleasure meeting you, Beth.
- Mm.
628
00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,987
ANNIE: You have a hole in your pants.
629
00:27:36,022 --> 00:27:37,022
- Annie!
- (WILLIAM LAUGHS)
630
00:27:37,056 --> 00:27:38,657
Oh, that's okay. I actually do.
631
00:27:38,691 --> 00:27:40,992
(CHUCKLES) Hey, isn't that
what the kids do to be cool?
632
00:27:41,027 --> 00:27:42,094
They put holes in their pants,
633
00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:43,829
- right?
- Not like that.
634
00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:47,504
(LAUGHS) Well, here I was,
thought I was being cool.
635
00:27:47,529 --> 00:27:50,865
Wait, what if I do this?
Yo, what's going...
636
00:27:50,899 --> 00:27:52,400
- (GIRLS LAUGHING)
- BOTH: No.
637
00:27:52,434 --> 00:27:54,669
My, my, my, you must be Tess.
638
00:27:54,703 --> 00:27:58,139
- Yes.
- I hear you play soccer...
639
00:27:58,173 --> 00:27:59,573
I should have called.
640
00:27:59,608 --> 00:28:00,975
I didn't know how to say it out loud.
641
00:28:01,009 --> 00:28:02,643
- So, you just...
- I...
642
00:28:02,678 --> 00:28:04,311
I have no explanation, baby.
643
00:28:04,346 --> 00:28:06,681
Like, everything I want to say
644
00:28:06,715 --> 00:28:07,982
or do around this man,
I do the opposite.
645
00:28:08,016 --> 00:28:10,051
It's like a bad sitcom.
646
00:28:10,085 --> 00:28:12,019
It's like an episode of The Man-ny
647
00:28:12,054 --> 00:28:14,155
or What's Happening!!
648
00:28:14,189 --> 00:28:16,157
(STIFLING LAUGH)
649
00:28:16,191 --> 00:28:19,760
He left me at a fire station
and I invited him into our home.
650
00:28:19,795 --> 00:28:22,396
(LAUGHING)
651
00:28:22,431 --> 00:28:24,899
Oh, my God, baby, you're cracking up.
652
00:28:24,933 --> 00:28:25,866
(SNORTS)
653
00:28:25,901 --> 00:28:27,034
Daddy?
654
00:28:27,069 --> 00:28:28,269
What's happening?
655
00:28:28,303 --> 00:28:31,505
(WHISPERS): What's happening?
656
00:28:31,540 --> 00:28:33,808
(SNORTS, LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
657
00:28:33,842 --> 00:28:34,809
(SIGHS LOUDLY)
658
00:28:34,843 --> 00:28:37,178
(KATE AND TOBY LAUGHING)
659
00:28:37,212 --> 00:28:39,613
- You're not serious.
- I am.
660
00:28:39,648 --> 00:28:40,715
Wait, Sally Field?
661
00:28:40,749 --> 00:28:42,016
- Yeah. I have a thing
- Mm.
662
00:28:42,050 --> 00:28:45,219
- for Sally Field. Sue me.
- She's, like, 60.
663
00:28:45,253 --> 00:28:47,688
60 is the new sexy.
You didn't know that?
664
00:28:47,723 --> 00:28:50,057
- Mm-mm.
- Mm. And when she turns 70...
665
00:28:50,092 --> 00:28:52,159
(GROANS)
666
00:28:52,194 --> 00:28:53,661
- (LAUGHS)
- Look out,
667
00:28:53,695 --> 00:28:55,362
Sally is gonna peak in her 70s.
668
00:28:55,397 --> 00:28:56,630
- (CHUCKLING): Mm-hmm.
- I promise you.
669
00:28:56,665 --> 00:28:58,132
- Yeah...
- WAITER: Can I interest you in dessert?
670
00:28:58,166 --> 00:29:00,568
- Oh, no thanks.
- Yes!
671
00:29:00,602 --> 00:29:01,569
- No.
- Yes.
672
00:29:01,603 --> 00:29:02,703
- No.
- Yes.
673
00:29:02,738 --> 00:29:03,738
- No!
- Yes.
674
00:29:03,772 --> 00:29:04,839
He was just asking
675
00:29:04,873 --> 00:29:06,040
if he could interest us in dessert.
676
00:29:06,074 --> 00:29:07,374
I am saying that he can.
677
00:29:07,409 --> 00:29:09,510
I am very interested in dessert.
678
00:29:09,544 --> 00:29:11,545
I am utterly fascinated by dessert.
679
00:29:11,580 --> 00:29:13,347
Dessert is my life's work.
680
00:29:13,381 --> 00:29:15,516
So...
681
00:29:15,550 --> 00:29:16,884
We will just have the check, please.
682
00:29:16,918 --> 00:29:18,819
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
683
00:29:18,854 --> 00:29:20,521
TOBY: I don't normally like risotto,
684
00:29:20,555 --> 00:29:23,390
but if you put it in a ball
form, and-and deep fry it,
685
00:29:23,425 --> 00:29:24,725
I can eat, like, a thousand of them.
686
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,060
(KATE LAUGHS)
687
00:29:26,094 --> 00:29:28,696
I had a really nice time tonight, Toby.
688
00:29:28,730 --> 00:29:29,764
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
689
00:29:29,798 --> 00:29:30,765
Wait, what? No, no, no.
690
00:29:30,799 --> 00:29:32,066
What, that's it?
691
00:29:32,100 --> 00:29:33,601
What do you mean?
692
00:29:33,635 --> 00:29:37,338
I mean, you're not gonna
invite me in for a...
693
00:29:37,372 --> 00:29:39,707
a nightcap or...
694
00:29:39,741 --> 00:29:40,708
a handy or something?
695
00:29:40,742 --> 00:29:42,076
(CHUCKLES)
696
00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:43,911
- Cute.
- I am.
697
00:29:43,945 --> 00:29:45,613
Thank you.
698
00:29:45,647 --> 00:29:48,916
I did have a really nice time tonight.
699
00:29:58,059 --> 00:29:59,960
Okay. You can come inside for a water.
700
00:29:59,995 --> 00:30:01,462
- (CHUCKLING): All right.
- A water.
701
00:30:01,496 --> 00:30:02,797
Uh-huh.
702
00:30:02,831 --> 00:30:04,031
We have already had our
six ounces of wine.
703
00:30:04,065 --> 00:30:05,065
I know.
704
00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:07,067
150 calories per six ounce.
705
00:30:07,102 --> 00:30:08,602
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
706
00:30:08,637 --> 00:30:10,371
You keep counting calories,
707
00:30:10,405 --> 00:30:12,206
and you're gonna really turn me on.
708
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:13,240
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
709
00:30:13,275 --> 00:30:14,542
You want to know how many, uh,
710
00:30:14,576 --> 00:30:16,644
calories are in a sausage?
711
00:30:16,678 --> 00:30:17,812
- (DOLPHIN SQUEALING)
- (KATE LAUGHING)
712
00:30:17,846 --> 00:30:19,113
KATE: Is... but is it even legal?
713
00:30:19,147 --> 00:30:21,282
TOBY: No. Not in this country.
714
00:30:23,485 --> 00:30:25,019
Do you want to fool around?
715
00:30:26,154 --> 00:30:27,321
(STAMMERS): I don't.
716
00:30:28,390 --> 00:30:29,857
- Ah.
- Uh...
717
00:30:30,959 --> 00:30:32,827
- Okay.
- No, I...
718
00:30:32,861 --> 00:30:34,028
No, I-I do.
719
00:30:35,730 --> 00:30:37,364
It's just been a long time
720
00:30:37,399 --> 00:30:39,033
since this has even been an option.
721
00:30:39,067 --> 00:30:42,169
Hey. I know, I know.
722
00:30:42,204 --> 00:30:43,704
Um, you don't.
723
00:30:44,806 --> 00:30:48,142
I am 36.
724
00:30:49,544 --> 00:30:52,446
And, um...
725
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:53,681
this...
726
00:30:53,715 --> 00:30:54,715
(GIGGLES)
727
00:30:54,749 --> 00:30:58,052
...is not a very pretty picture.
728
00:30:58,086 --> 00:30:59,286
It's okay.
729
00:30:59,321 --> 00:31:01,555
- No, it's...
- Hey, it's okay.
730
00:31:03,391 --> 00:31:05,192
- (KEVIN GROANS)
- Hey!
731
00:31:05,227 --> 00:31:06,227
Kevin, what the hell?
732
00:31:06,261 --> 00:31:07,361
Why don't you answer your phone?
733
00:31:07,395 --> 00:31:08,262
Uh...
734
00:31:08,296 --> 00:31:09,964
- I was on a date.
- Yeah, hi.
735
00:31:09,998 --> 00:31:12,099
(EXHALES): Oh...
736
00:31:12,133 --> 00:31:14,268
This is... this is the funny
fat guy from fat class?
737
00:31:14,302 --> 00:31:15,870
- Hi.
- Uh, yeah,
738
00:31:15,904 --> 00:31:17,705
it's Toby, and it's a
support group, but yeah.
739
00:31:17,739 --> 00:31:19,573
Holy... Wait, are you the Man-ny?
740
00:31:19,608 --> 00:31:21,642
Yes, I am, Toby.
741
00:31:21,676 --> 00:31:23,611
- (LAUGHS)
- I... I was.
742
00:31:23,645 --> 00:31:24,745
- Wait, what?
- You didn't check
743
00:31:24,779 --> 00:31:26,480
your phone, Twitter, Facebook, nothing?
744
00:31:26,514 --> 00:31:27,715
- Why? Wha...?
- Well, you should.
745
00:31:27,749 --> 00:31:29,984
- Becau...
- Okay, what is hap...
746
00:31:30,018 --> 00:31:31,518
- What is happening?
- I want you to know
747
00:31:31,553 --> 00:31:33,087
you would've been proud of me, okay?
748
00:31:33,121 --> 00:31:35,923
I was the picture of artistic integrity.
749
00:31:37,359 --> 00:31:40,027
Could we do one without your shirt on?
750
00:31:40,061 --> 00:31:42,663
Well, the big news in Hollywood
today is, of course,
751
00:31:42,697 --> 00:31:45,199
the Man-ny's on-set meltdown.
752
00:31:45,233 --> 00:31:47,067
Think about this, I'm like, you know,
753
00:31:47,102 --> 00:31:48,869
it's actually not the writer's fault
754
00:31:48,904 --> 00:31:51,105
that this show is so awful.
755
00:31:51,139 --> 00:31:53,040
(KEVIN CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY ON TV)
756
00:31:53,074 --> 00:31:56,710
Wow. I actually kind of
feel bad for Alan Thicke.
757
00:31:56,745 --> 00:31:58,379
Yeah.
758
00:31:58,413 --> 00:32:00,314
♪
759
00:32:05,887 --> 00:32:07,855
Rebecca's vitals are good.
760
00:32:07,889 --> 00:32:09,924
She's gonna be asleep
for a little while,
761
00:32:09,958 --> 00:32:12,626
but she's doing fine. We're
monitoring her closely.
762
00:32:12,661 --> 00:32:14,595
(QUIETLY): Okay.
763
00:32:16,264 --> 00:32:18,732
We lost the third baby, Jack.
764
00:32:18,767 --> 00:32:20,501
I'm-I'm very sorry.
765
00:32:21,636 --> 00:32:23,370
(SIGHS): The, uh...
766
00:32:23,405 --> 00:32:27,207
second baby is a girl, very strong.
767
00:32:27,242 --> 00:32:29,476
The third baby was a little boy,
768
00:32:29,511 --> 00:32:33,013
but the, uh, umbilical cord
was cutting off his oxygen.
769
00:32:33,048 --> 00:32:35,616
He was stillborn. Nothing
anybody could've done.
770
00:32:40,255 --> 00:32:42,523
I'm sorry, I'm... I'm not
processing anything.
771
00:32:42,557 --> 00:32:44,258
(SNIFFLES) My wife?
772
00:32:44,292 --> 00:32:45,592
Is fine.
773
00:32:45,627 --> 00:32:48,529
And she'll be awake pretty soon.
774
00:32:48,563 --> 00:32:51,932
You have two beautiful,
healthy children, Jack.
775
00:32:51,967 --> 00:32:54,935
- Boy and a girl.
- (SNIFFLES)
776
00:32:56,805 --> 00:32:59,606
But we did lose the third child.
777
00:32:59,641 --> 00:33:01,008
(SNIFFLES)
778
00:33:01,042 --> 00:33:02,977
(TREMBLING BREATH)
779
00:33:11,753 --> 00:33:13,754
I need to be with my wife.
780
00:33:13,788 --> 00:33:14,955
And you will be.
781
00:33:14,990 --> 00:33:16,957
But she needs to sleep now.
782
00:33:16,992 --> 00:33:18,759
But soon. You just sit down.
783
00:33:18,793 --> 00:33:20,327
Sit. Sit.
784
00:33:25,467 --> 00:33:27,801
Okay if I keep you company a second?
785
00:33:29,037 --> 00:33:30,571
Yeah.
786
00:33:33,942 --> 00:33:35,743
(SIGHS)
787
00:33:37,245 --> 00:33:39,680
Okay if I...
788
00:33:39,714 --> 00:33:43,217
try and say something meaningful?
789
00:33:43,251 --> 00:33:44,685
Yeah.
790
00:33:47,389 --> 00:33:49,890
I lost my wife last year.
791
00:33:49,924 --> 00:33:51,458
Cancer.
792
00:33:53,094 --> 00:33:55,696
That's the reason I still
work so much at my age.
793
00:33:55,730 --> 00:33:59,066
Just... trying to pass the time.
794
00:34:00,135 --> 00:34:01,769
(CHUCKLES)
795
00:34:01,803 --> 00:34:04,738
We were married 53 years.
796
00:34:07,308 --> 00:34:10,244
Five children, 11 grandkids.
797
00:34:12,681 --> 00:34:16,617
But we lost our very first
child during the delivery.
798
00:34:18,753 --> 00:34:21,922
The reason I went into this
field, truth be told...
799
00:34:23,825 --> 00:34:27,394
...I have spent five
decades delivering babies.
800
00:34:27,429 --> 00:34:29,696
More babies than I can count.
801
00:34:32,867 --> 00:34:36,136
But there is not a
single day that goes by
802
00:34:36,171 --> 00:34:40,074
that I don't think of the child I lost.
803
00:34:40,108 --> 00:34:42,943
And I'm an old man now.
804
00:34:47,916 --> 00:34:49,817
♪
805
00:34:49,851 --> 00:34:53,554
I like to think that because
of the child that I lost,
806
00:34:53,588 --> 00:34:56,090
because of the path that...
807
00:34:56,124 --> 00:34:58,525
that he sent me on,
808
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,328
that I have saved
countless other babies.
809
00:35:01,362 --> 00:35:02,896
Yeah.
810
00:35:06,701 --> 00:35:08,869
I like to think that maybe one day
811
00:35:08,903 --> 00:35:11,805
you'll be an old man like me...
812
00:35:15,043 --> 00:35:18,078
...talking a younger man's
ear off, explaining to him
813
00:35:18,113 --> 00:35:20,013
how you...
814
00:35:20,048 --> 00:35:25,185
took the sourest lemon
that life has to offer...
815
00:35:25,220 --> 00:35:28,489
and turned it into something
resembling lemonade.
816
00:35:30,417 --> 00:35:33,376
If you can do that, then
you will still be...
817
00:35:33,428 --> 00:35:36,730
taking three babies home
from this hospital.
818
00:35:36,764 --> 00:35:39,733
Just...
819
00:35:39,767 --> 00:35:42,336
maybe not the way you planned.
820
00:35:45,540 --> 00:35:49,042
I don't know if that was
meaningful or senile,
821
00:35:49,077 --> 00:35:51,845
but I thought it ought to be said.
822
00:35:55,416 --> 00:35:58,719
Your wife'll still be
asleep for a little while.
823
00:36:00,255 --> 00:36:02,589
Go see your babies.
824
00:36:04,225 --> 00:36:06,760
They're excited to meet their father.
825
00:36:09,964 --> 00:36:12,533
I think maybe they got a good one.
826
00:36:24,367 --> 00:36:27,133
Sorry. Just had to put the girls down.
827
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,132
These people, they're your...
828
00:36:30,157 --> 00:36:31,624
My parents.
829
00:36:31,828 --> 00:36:33,829
Well, my adopted.
830
00:36:34,652 --> 00:36:36,453
They're my parents.
831
00:36:36,476 --> 00:36:38,343
You've been with them your whole life?
832
00:36:38,378 --> 00:36:40,312
From the start.
833
00:36:41,414 --> 00:36:43,015
A fireman found me.
834
00:36:43,049 --> 00:36:46,685
He took me to the hospital,
and they were there.
835
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,955
They said it felt meant to be.
836
00:36:49,989 --> 00:36:52,724
Just one of those lucky breaks, I guess.
837
00:36:53,827 --> 00:36:56,128
A fire station.
838
00:36:56,162 --> 00:36:58,897
(CHUCKLES): Gee, what
a thing to have done.
839
00:37:00,567 --> 00:37:02,701
- I should get going.
- Maybe we could have you by
840
00:37:02,735 --> 00:37:04,369
- every once...
- No, I don't think that's necessary.
841
00:37:04,404 --> 00:37:05,971
- It's no pressure. I just...
- It's just that
842
00:37:06,005 --> 00:37:07,339
I'm...
843
00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:09,426
I'm dying, is all.
844
00:37:10,785 --> 00:37:12,285
You're sick?
845
00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:13,679
Dying, not sick.
846
00:37:13,994 --> 00:37:15,962
Sick was months ago.
847
00:37:16,106 --> 00:37:19,108
I'm toward the end, fortunately.
848
00:37:22,698 --> 00:37:24,933
Uh... I don't know what to say.
849
00:37:24,958 --> 00:37:26,358
No, there's nothing to be said.
850
00:37:27,994 --> 00:37:31,196
It was a kindness you've shown me,
851
00:37:31,231 --> 00:37:33,799
letting me meet them.
852
00:37:36,715 --> 00:37:40,050
Your dad must've been very proud of you.
853
00:37:42,113 --> 00:37:44,047
♪
854
00:37:51,856 --> 00:37:55,325
♪ Let your heart be ♪
855
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,861
♪ Unchained ♪
856
00:37:57,896 --> 00:38:01,031
♪ Let your skin be ♪
857
00:38:01,065 --> 00:38:02,900
♪ Unstained ♪
858
00:38:02,934 --> 00:38:04,434
♪ Let your road... ♪
859
00:38:04,469 --> 00:38:07,838
I cannot believe that I'm
drinking these calories.
860
00:38:07,872 --> 00:38:10,574
Since I just torpedoed my career,
861
00:38:10,608 --> 00:38:12,009
I think you can afford an extra,
862
00:38:12,043 --> 00:38:13,543
you know, 100 calories or whatever.
863
00:38:13,578 --> 00:38:15,312
- 150.
- It's 150.
864
00:38:19,150 --> 00:38:22,519
What if I'm not better than The Man-ny?
865
00:38:22,553 --> 00:38:26,423
What if I am exactly "Man-ny good"?
866
00:38:31,227 --> 00:38:33,561
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
867
00:38:36,601 --> 00:38:37,635
Broadway.
868
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:40,760
Can't sing.
869
00:38:41,153 --> 00:38:42,663
Porn.
870
00:38:43,222 --> 00:38:44,522
Yeah, maybe.
871
00:38:46,507 --> 00:38:48,708
I'm gonna get some more of this red.
872
00:38:48,947 --> 00:38:50,113
(GRUNTS)
873
00:38:51,282 --> 00:38:52,516
I'm in so much trouble.
874
00:38:52,550 --> 00:38:54,518
I am screwed.
875
00:38:54,552 --> 00:38:56,887
Listen, okay, Kevin...
876
00:39:05,697 --> 00:39:08,098
Do you remember what Dad used to say?
877
00:39:08,132 --> 00:39:11,301
When something crappy
would happen to us?
878
00:39:13,689 --> 00:39:19,727
Whenever we'd get down, whenever we
felt like life wasn't going our way?
879
00:39:20,545 --> 00:39:21,878
Which one's yours?
880
00:39:21,913 --> 00:39:24,217
Um... those two.
881
00:39:24,328 --> 00:39:26,059
Congrats! Twins.
882
00:39:26,084 --> 00:39:28,118
Wow.
883
00:39:28,152 --> 00:39:30,354
How about you? Which one's yours?
884
00:39:30,388 --> 00:39:32,055
None of 'em, actually.
885
00:39:32,090 --> 00:39:34,358
Strangest damn thing.
886
00:39:34,392 --> 00:39:36,126
Someone left a newborn
at my fire station.
887
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,262
I didn't know what to do,
so I brought him here.
888
00:39:39,297 --> 00:39:41,431
(CRYING)
889
00:39:47,638 --> 00:39:48,872
Smoke?
890
00:39:48,906 --> 00:39:50,807
No. Thank you.
891
00:39:53,611 --> 00:39:55,512
♪
892
00:39:58,230 --> 00:40:00,064
Life's strange.
893
00:40:00,184 --> 00:40:01,885
Congratulations.
894
00:40:01,919 --> 00:40:04,388
Thank you.
895
00:40:04,422 --> 00:40:06,323
♪
896
00:40:16,334 --> 00:40:20,003
♪ Watch me when you call my name ♪
897
00:40:20,038 --> 00:40:22,239
Come on, Kev.
898
00:40:22,273 --> 00:40:23,774
You remember.
899
00:40:23,808 --> 00:40:25,042
(EXHALES) What did he say?
900
00:40:25,076 --> 00:40:26,610
About the lemons?
901
00:40:26,644 --> 00:40:28,111
- (CHUCKLES)
- Hmm?
902
00:40:28,146 --> 00:40:29,379
"There's no lemon
903
00:40:29,414 --> 00:40:31,448
BOTH: "...so sour...
904
00:40:31,482 --> 00:40:35,452
KEVIN: ...that you can't make
something resembling lemonade."
905
00:40:35,486 --> 00:40:38,855
♪ So glad you came ♪
906
00:40:38,890 --> 00:40:41,625
♪
907
00:40:57,667 --> 00:41:00,526
_
908
00:41:13,284 --> 00:41:16,453
♪ Watch me when you look my way ♪
909
00:41:17,662 --> 00:41:19,763
♪ See me smiling ♪
910
00:41:19,797 --> 00:41:22,032
♪ Be my night and day ♪
911
00:41:22,066 --> 00:41:24,668
Good. Now that's out of the way.
912
00:41:24,702 --> 00:41:27,571
♪ Touch me in your own sweet way ♪
913
00:41:27,605 --> 00:41:30,607
♪ Feel me tremble ♪
914
00:41:30,641 --> 00:41:34,911
♪ When you take my words away ♪
915
00:41:34,946 --> 00:41:36,880
♪
916
00:41:43,488 --> 00:41:46,456
♪ All of the time ♪
917
00:41:46,491 --> 00:41:47,891
♪ I love you ♪
918
00:41:49,293 --> 00:41:51,228
♪ Say it in mine ♪
919
00:41:51,262 --> 00:41:53,163
♪
920
00:42:18,523 --> 00:42:20,757
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