1 00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:12,637 CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM 2 00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:47,964 Damn! She's still here? 3 00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:49,757 Yeah, she's still here. And it's your fault. 4 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,968 You screwed up her electrical system. 5 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:53,094 What you're doing right now, 6 00:00:53,177 --> 00:00:55,972 is you puttin' bad miles on your johnson. 7 00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:59,267 You ever heard of a car, have highway miles and fuckin' city miles? 8 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,643 I never heard of miles on a johnson. 9 00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:03,271 Right now, we got dick depreciation. 10 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:07,775 But you know what? It's worth it. 11 00:01:09,485 --> 00:01:13,739 No, no! Leon, no! 12 00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,241 We talked about this. 13 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:21,622 Where does this go? It's recycling, right? So it goes this side, okay? 14 00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:24,125 All this stuff is going to the same place. 15 00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:26,794 Fuckin' dump, the big pile of fuckin' trash and shit. 16 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:29,589 With seagulls flyin' all over that shit. 17 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:34,260 While I am in a relationship with Larry, this is how we do it, okay? 18 00:01:34,343 --> 00:01:39,098 If you only knew the journey a piece of trash takes in this city... 19 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:42,685 It's one plastic bottle's journey from Milan to Minsk. 20 00:01:42,768 --> 00:01:46,063 You know what this can do? It can choke a dolphin. 21 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:48,107 You want to choke a dolphin, Leon? 22 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,235 I don't think you want to. You don't want to choke a dolphin. 23 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,196 - You know what? - What? 24 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,447 Bad miles. 25 00:01:55,489 --> 00:01:58,409 He's such a smart guy. He has a lot of energy, 26 00:01:58,492 --> 00:01:59,952 but he's kind of delusional. 27 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:03,581 He has all of these theories that just make no sense. 28 00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:07,502 I got to go to work. I got to get to the chamber. 29 00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:12,632 The guy was here to give me an estimate on the fence around the pool. 30 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,636 He said it was going to cost five thousand dollars. 31 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,888 Oh my God. Really? 32 00:02:18,971 --> 00:02:23,226 Remember last week I mentioned something about repealing that law? 33 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,228 You mentioned something about repealing the law? 34 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,855 You don't stop talking about repealing the law. 35 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:31,234 But the more I think about it, the more sense it actually makes. 36 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:35,404 Larry, would it make you happy if I helped to repeal the law? 37 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:37,740 Really? 38 00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:39,534 Would it stop you talking about this fence? 39 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:43,037 Absolutely. I'll never mention it again. This is fantastic. 40 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,373 There's five council people. You got to have a majority. 41 00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:48,334 So you need three. Well, we got you, that's one. 42 00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:54,006 - Okay, so two more. - Okay. I will try, for you. 43 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:57,468 You know what? You did something for me, 44 00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,012 I'd like to return the favor. 45 00:03:00,304 --> 00:03:02,640 - Really? - Let me buy you something. 46 00:03:03,307 --> 00:03:05,893 - You want to know what I really want? - Yeah. 47 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,230 Vaginal rejuvenation surgery. 48 00:03:10,439 --> 00:03:11,524 What? 49 00:03:11,607 --> 00:03:13,526 A tightening, a lifting. 50 00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:16,612 The labial lips, I'd like them evened out. 51 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:20,032 - Tighten, lift and tighten. - You know something? 52 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:24,370 I love my daughter, Larry, but she destroyed me down here. 53 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,664 And you know what they tell you to do? Kegel. 54 00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:32,753 Lifting. You know what? Does not work. 55 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,506 Also, when I get excited, 56 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,635 I jump up suddenly like at a sports game, 57 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,638 a little pee pee escapes. 58 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:47,059 I want to be with you, courtside, watching a great game. 59 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,562 I want to wear white pants with you, 60 00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:53,691 so the whole thing is such a win win for you, for me, 61 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:56,777 Sexually, medically. 62 00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:01,574 It's not just for me. It's for us, isn't it? 63 00:04:01,657 --> 00:04:05,578 Okay, we'll get that done. We got it. 64 00:04:05,661 --> 00:04:08,414 Darling, I'm excited. You're not going to regret it. 65 00:04:08,497 --> 00:04:10,666 - I got to borrow your car. - What? 66 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,418 I'm out of gas. 67 00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:16,088 - Keys in the foyer. - Okay. 68 00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:21,135 - This area. - Yeah. 69 00:04:21,385 --> 00:04:25,223 Fufu surgery, a designer vagina! 70 00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:29,435 - Where are the keys? - I told you they're in the bowl! 71 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,437 - What? - The bowl! 72 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,074 Oh my God, are you okay? 73 00:04:43,824 --> 00:04:45,660 Stay still, don't move. 74 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:48,454 - I'm going to give you this sweater. - My neck... 75 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,748 I'm going to call an ambulance. I'm calling 911, okay? 76 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,458 - Am I bleeding? - Yeah, a little bit. 77 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,752 I'm going to call 911. You're going to be okay. 78 00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:58,965 Hang in there. You're going to be all right. 79 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,634 Here it is. Okay. 80 00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:04,637 - Here he is. - Tell me what happened. 81 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,223 - What's your name, sir? - Ben Callahan. 82 00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:09,267 Did you see what happened? 83 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,853 - Does your neck hurt? - My neck really hurts, yeah. 84 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:15,565 - Okay, try not to move it. - I don't get the bicycle thing. 85 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,567 Get a stationary bike in your house. 86 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:21,445 You got the TV. It's so much better than going in the streets here. 87 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,656 Just try not to talk. You'll be just fine. 88 00:05:23,739 --> 00:05:25,992 I think even roller skates is better. 89 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:28,870 I think roller skating is safer than a bicycle. 90 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:32,123 Can you just let me do my job? Who cares about rollerskating? 91 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,000 - Who is that? - I don't know who he is. 92 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:36,335 Rollerskating's kind of fun, too. I think it's more fun. 93 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,712 Do you want to help? 94 00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:40,673 I'm helping. I made the call. 95 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:44,260 Ben, everything's going to be okay. We're going to get you in an ambulance. 96 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,596 - You're going to be fine. - I told him that before. 97 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,264 Thanks. Do you want to be a paramedic? 98 00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:51,309 I don't know why you need to be a part of this anymore. 99 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,686 - Step back. - I'm stepping back. 100 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:59,317 You're going to be fine, Ben. Good luck. 101 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,907 Wait a second. Hey! My sweater! 102 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:09,285 Hey, my sweater! My sweater! 103 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:18,878 All right, got it. Thank you. Okay, bye. 104 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,841 Excuse me, I'm wondering if a new patient was admitted here today, 105 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,968 Ben Callahan? He was in a bike accident. 106 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,638 He suffered a mild concussion. 107 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,723 He had to have some stitches, but he's going to be okay. 108 00:06:30,806 --> 00:06:32,183 He's going to be okay? Great. 109 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,560 He's in room 406. 110 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,395 - 406? - Yes. 111 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,856 - And where's that? - Right there. 112 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:43,027 - That's my sweater. - Excuse me, you can't go in there. 113 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,863 What are you talking about? My sweater is right over there. 114 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,657 You can't go in there and get the sweater. 115 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,660 Why? You don't understand. I discovered him, 116 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:53,704 lying on the ground. He was cold. I took my sweater off. 117 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,832 I did a nice thing for one of the few times in my life. 118 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,750 And now you're saying I can't get my sweater back? 119 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,293 How do I know that's your sweater? 120 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,753 That's how I got my wardrobe. 121 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,005 I go around to hospitals and I look in rooms 122 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,591 and I say, "that's mine". And they give it to me. 123 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,594 That's how I got the shirt and the pants. 124 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,179 That could be your hustle. 125 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,681 How about this? 126 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:15,101 Could you just tell him that Larry David is here to get his sweater back? 127 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,687 He's resting right now. I can't do that. 128 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,523 - Is he resting or sleeping? - What's the difference? 129 00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,776 Well, sleeping, you definitely don't want to disturb somebody. 130 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,528 And I completely understand that. 131 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:29,615 But if you're resting and you're just laying down with your eyes open, 132 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,868 that's nothing. Every day, I rest. 133 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,078 And I could talk to anybody when I'm resting. 134 00:07:34,161 --> 00:07:36,998 I'm not going to disturb the patient just to ask him about your sweater. 135 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,291 How is that a disturbance? 136 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,543 A person is laying in bed, he's asked a question. 137 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,713 He doesn't even have to say yes or no. He can just nod, yes. 138 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,590 If I go in there, I'm disturbing him. 139 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,009 That's a disturbance, a human presence is a disturbance? 140 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,469 - If he's resting, yes. - Would you hand him a note? 141 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,971 Yeah, I could do that. 142 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,348 By the way, where's plastic surgery? 143 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,393 - Downstairs, first floor. - Just hand him that note, okay? 144 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:04,442 It must be difficult being so mistrustful of everyone. It's sad. 145 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,360 It is. 146 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,161 Hi, how can I help you? 147 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:20,416 Hi. I have a bit of a delicate matter to discuss. 148 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,834 Okay. 149 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,253 How we looking for the rest of the day? 150 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,297 Your two o'clock surgery's been canceled. 151 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:27,423 Thank you. 152 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:31,093 Excuse me. You're a doctor? 153 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,303 Yes, I am. 154 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:36,098 Do you do vaginal rejuvenation surgery? 155 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,809 That's what we do here, I specialize in it, yes. 156 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:42,939 How long does it put a person out of commission for? 157 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:46,108 Look, it depends on what you're looking to have done. 158 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,528 Tightening and a lift? 159 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:52,573 Tightening and a lift, I recommend take about three days off of work. 160 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:59,288 No, no. I'm talking about, you know, intercourse. 161 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,916 Six to eight weeks, probably. 162 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,377 Six to eight weeks? No kidding? 163 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:09,507 Depending on what kind of work needs to be done. 164 00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:14,720 It's a lot of work. Lots of, lots of, lots of work. 165 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:23,855 - Hey! - Hey! 166 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:28,442 I think I finally figured out a way to end the whole ba-dum-bump situation. 167 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:34,198 Susie's had her eye on this vase, vase, in Beverly Hills, 168 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,992 which is so expensive. 169 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:41,122 However, downtown LA, I found a guy named Igor, same exact vase. 170 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:44,167 You can't tell them apart. Half the price. 171 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,836 Yeah. And this will be a weight lifted. 172 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,840 Boy, this is amazing, what you got going, this whole risk reward life. 173 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,176 The risk is my reward. 174 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,011 You're like an outlaw. 175 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,471 That's what you gotta do. 176 00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,600 Look at her. Sitting in my chair. 177 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,727 I mean, constantly. 178 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:05,313 Her seat is two seats back, you see it right there. 179 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,316 That's under instructions from her father. 180 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,943 Look. Now he's taking over. 181 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,154 They just want to taunt me. 182 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:17,325 I don't think I've ever hated someone as much in my life as I do this guy. 183 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:21,454 Hey, I think the espresso machine's broken again. Who's in charge of that? 184 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:22,663 Is that you? 185 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:28,336 It's going to be so sweet when we get that law repealed. Oh, my God. 186 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:32,507 We've only got two weeks until we start shooting. Gotta make it happen. 187 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,008 Yeah. I know. 188 00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,093 I'm going to need one of those earpieces. 189 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,975 Look at all this! 190 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,811 It's nice. There's so much. 191 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,648 - Hello. - Hi! 192 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:52,068 My name is Igor. I run Prospr. How can I help you? 193 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,071 Hi, Igor. I'm Jeff Greene. We spoke on the phone. 194 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:59,825 About the vase? Nice to see you. You brought a friend! 195 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,828 - Is that okay? - Splendid! 196 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:06,958 Boy, you got a lot of stuff in here. Is there anything you won't take? 197 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,377 Anything with blood on it. Won't take that. 198 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,170 - No blood? - I don't want to know. 199 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,588 Where's all this stuff come from? 200 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:16,801 Mostly it's comes from women who died at Park La Brea Apartments. 201 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:20,888 Yes, they get married, they get old, they die, I go in with a truck. 202 00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,598 Interesting. 203 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,143 Let me get the vase. You are splendid. You are splendid. You, look around. 204 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,396 You're not leaving until you buy something. 205 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,773 - Splendid. - You are going to buy something. 206 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:36,237 Half price. Half the price. 207 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,532 - Here we are. - That is it. 208 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,033 A little dirty. But what do you think? 209 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,785 - That is the vase. - That's what she wants? 210 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:45,204 Yeah, that's what she wants, I'm sure. 211 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,206 She, who is this? Who is this for? 212 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,167 My wife. 213 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,712 You're in a little bit of trouble? 214 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:57,049 - I'd say. - Splendid, splendid, I understand. 215 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,218 But let me ask you a question. It's a little dirty. 216 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,889 I will clean this. Come back in a couple of days, pick it up. 217 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,683 Maybe when I'm dead, you can have my furniture. 218 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:08,644 Fantastic. Splendid, splendid. Thank you so much. 219 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,522 - You feel like eating? - I'm hungry. 220 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,066 - What do you want to do? - I don't know. 221 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,694 There's gotta be a lot of restaurants around here. 222 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,779 Why don't we go in the hotel and ask the concierge? 223 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,489 Concierge always knows. 224 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,997 - Excuse me. - Hello! 225 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:33,544 Welcome to the hotel Concordia. My name is Gregor. How can I help you? 226 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,963 Gregor, nice to meet you. We're not guests of the hotel. 227 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,508 We were shopping at an antique store down the block. 228 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:42,220 - Prospr. - Yeah, Prospr. 229 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,099 What'd you get there? 230 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,727 A vase for my wife. 231 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:55,525 - You in doghouse? - Yeah, yeah, he's in the doghouse. 232 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,445 Anyway, we were just wondering, we're pretty hungry, 233 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,656 we'd love to get some lunch in the area. 234 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,617 I have a great place for you. Café Cukor. 235 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,370 Best food in the city. You take a left. 236 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,163 Go through the exit, you take a left. 237 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:13,417 - Great. Café Cukor. - Splendid place. 238 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,421 Anything you'd recommend? 239 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,132 Goulash. 240 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,093 I don't know if I'm a goulash guy, yeah. 241 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,637 - You look like a goulash guy. - I look like a goulash guy? 242 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,305 You look like you love goulash. 243 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,140 - I've never had goulash. - Me either. 244 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,684 Nice knowing you, pre-goulash. 245 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,813 - Thank you, Gregor. - Thanks, Gregor. 246 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,583 Hey, asshole! Watch where you're going! 247 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,963 Unbelievable! 248 00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:12,268 I mean, this is terrible. This is inedible. 249 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:17,064 This is just one of the worst things I've ever had in my life. 250 00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,191 He said it was great. 251 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,485 Why would Gregor recommend this place? I don't understand it. 252 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:25,406 Welcome to Café Cukor. My name is Timor. 253 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:28,284 I hope everything is splendid, the goulash? 254 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,830 - It's not very good. - Oh, no! 255 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,458 - Extraordinarily bad. - Extraordinary bad? 256 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:38,961 - This is bad news. - And the potatoes are hard. 257 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:43,090 - The beef is tough. - Maybe we're not goulash guys. 258 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,009 It happens sometimes. 259 00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:48,179 I just figured I'd be honest with you, that's all, you know. 260 00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,724 No one's ever complained about this goulash before? 261 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,226 - No. Never. - We're the first? 262 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,394 First ever. Can I try your goulash? 263 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,231 - You want to try that? - Of course, sure. 264 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,525 'Cause I cannot word for it. 265 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:09,825 - That is good goulash. - Really? 266 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,246 - Yeah. - All right, maybe we're wrong. 267 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,832 We'll just take a check. 268 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,084 This pains me that you do not like the goulash. 269 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,461 I take this as a personal affront. 270 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,840 But I want to pay you back, because I feel bad. 271 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,675 Let me let you in on a little secret. 272 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:29,679 Down the street is the best pet store in Los Angeles. 273 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,182 Timor, who owns this pet store? 274 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,601 - Bulvor. - Bulvor? 275 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:40,231 Are you related to Gregor, the concierge at the Concordia Hotel? 276 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,024 No. 277 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,235 What about Igor, the antique dealer? 278 00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:46,863 No. 279 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:55,413 I don't know Igor, Gregor, or Bulvor. No relation. 280 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,294 - You guys want me to wrap this up? - We'll just take a check. 281 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,424 Let's go talk to Gregor. 282 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,263 Hey, there they are. 283 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,393 - So, how was it? - Awful. 284 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,771 - No! - It was just awful. 285 00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:23,900 - No, no, no! - Yes, yes. 286 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,152 No, no, no! 287 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,404 How do you recommend a restaurant like that? 288 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,324 Maybe you just had an off day. I don't know what to tell you. 289 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:35,036 Let me ask you this, Gregor. Do you know Timor? 290 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,205 Do you know Igor? 291 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:42,376 Okay. I don't know. Who are these people that I'm supposed to know? 292 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,671 - Igor from Prospr. - Timor from Cukor. 293 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:48,508 What am I, in the Columbo episode all of a sudden? 294 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,635 I don't know any Timor. 295 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:54,055 Why is it you all look alike and you have 'or' on the end of your names? 296 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,432 I am not related to anyone. 297 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,017 And you all say schplendid. 298 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,062 You say splendid. They say splendid. 299 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,356 Who doesn't say splendid in their life at least twice a day? 300 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,984 We don't say splendid. Nobody else says splendid. 301 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,779 People say splendid at least twice a day. It is fact. 302 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:13,491 Okay. I'm not buying any of this. I think you're all in cahoots. 303 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,992 You're getting a kick back. 304 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:18,204 You're recommending somebody to your brother, Timor, 305 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,832 and then he's paying you for the recommendation. 306 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,876 No, no, no. 307 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,713 This is fantasy. This is science fiction. 308 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,298 - This is Star Wars. - This is not fantasy. 309 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,633 This is spaceship to moon. 310 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,636 You know what's so disappointing about this? 311 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,804 What? 312 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:38,432 Americans have lost complete faith in their institutions, their politicians, 313 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,142 their priests, the policemen. 314 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:43,563 But we depend on the concierge to give us advice 315 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,649 and recommendations, where's the best nail salon around here? 316 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:50,903 Where can I go for a jog? You are the last bastion of trust. 317 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:56,534 And if we can no longer trust our concierge, then we have nothing. 318 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,453 I don't know what to say. 319 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:04,208 Except Emerald Nail Salon is down the street in... 320 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,586 Okay, Gregor. Come on, let's go. 321 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,296 MacArthur Park is wonderful. 322 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:18,890 You know, about the vaginal rejuvenation, 323 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:22,143 I'm having second thoughts. 324 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,061 - What? - I looked things up. 325 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:28,274 I saw some of the images on the computer of inflammation 326 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,610 and hematomas. 327 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:35,740 Don't think of the downside. What you have to focus on is the upside. 328 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,491 The tightening and the lift. 329 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:44,332 And the beautiful vagina that's going to emerge... 330 00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:46,918 I gotta stop Googling vagina. 331 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:50,755 You're getting a tightening and a lift, that's all. It's not a big deal. 332 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:55,218 I wish I could talk to somebody who's had it done. 333 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:58,429 All right, we'll get you somebody to talk to. 334 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,684 Oh my God. Your knees when you stand, 335 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,686 It's like somebody's striking a match, 336 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,271 Shut the fuck up, will ya? 337 00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:13,277 I'm here to apologize. All right? 338 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,113 I never should've screamed at Irma. 339 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:18,991 I feel terrible about what I said to her at the party. 340 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,744 - If you really want to make nice... - What? 341 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,456 Tell her you got vaginal rejuvenation surgery. 342 00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,083 Why? Why would I do that? 343 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,794 Because she wants to get vaginal rejuvenation surgery 344 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,380 and this will put her out of commission for six weeks. 345 00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:35,132 So you don't have to have sex with her? 346 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,426 But now she's having second thoughts. 347 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,180 And she wants to talk to somebody who had it. Just tell her you had it. 348 00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:43,516 So my vagina has to get involved in this whole fucking thing? 349 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,309 Well, this way, at least I could control it. 350 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:48,104 Just tell her it's been great. You've had great sex. 351 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,856 And it looks great. Whatever. 352 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,191 I'll do this for you. 353 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,485 - You gotta do something for me. - Name it. 354 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:59,490 There's this really, really gorgeous expensive vase I want. 355 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:03,119 So, get Jeff to buy me that vase, 356 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,205 I'll tell her I did a million different things to my vagina. 357 00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:09,208 What? I have to talk Jeff into getting you an expensive vase? 358 00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:11,169 Yes, you do. Tit for tat. 359 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,422 - Okay, deal. - And what did I have done? 360 00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:17,383 You know, you had tightening and a lift. 361 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:26,517 Irma. Please, please, please accept my apology. 362 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,936 Get out of the way, I'll turn this off. 363 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:34,233 I feel horrible. I can't even tell you what came over. 364 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:37,236 Jeff, my fucking husband, Jeff has been cheating on me 365 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:42,575 and I thought it was you and I went crazy. And it wasn't you. 366 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,495 It was this little putain who works for the Hulu guy. 367 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,371 But why would I want to schtup your husband 368 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,790 when I'm with this incredible man? 369 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,502 Look at this beautiful senior that I'm with. 370 00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:57,548 - I went crazy. - She feels terrible. 371 00:20:57,632 --> 00:21:00,551 I've had gas ever since. I have my bubble back. 372 00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:05,181 - I can't sleep. I've been... - Okay. She's apologized. 373 00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:09,268 And you accept her apology. She's apologizing. 374 00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:11,938 I will be the better person and I will accept your apology, 375 00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:15,274 She's the better person for apologizing. 376 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,485 I accept. I accept your apology. 377 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,278 Fantastic. 378 00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:23,908 And now, Susie has something else she'd like to tell you. 379 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:30,665 So, I hear that you're interested in a vaginal rejuvenation. 380 00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,750 - Is that correct? - You told her? 381 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:36,671 You said you wanted to talk to someone who had one. What better person? 382 00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,006 So, what did you get done? 383 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:41,467 I got a tightening and a lift. 384 00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,928 Did you get the labial reconstruction, too? 385 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:46,764 The labia, the clitoris... 386 00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:49,559 The clitoris, they unhooded it? 387 00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,728 You had the hood taken off? 388 00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:56,941 - It made everything better. - They took the hood off the clitoris. 389 00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,903 Susie, could I, you know, take a look? 390 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:03,990 - At my vagina? - She's gotta get going now. 391 00:22:04,073 --> 00:22:05,992 She'll show you the vagina another time. 392 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:08,828 It would help because you get a visualization... 393 00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:10,997 You'll have a vagina viewing another time. 394 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:15,293 You'll have a vagina viewing party, a "vagama" party. 395 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:18,129 - Great to see you. - Thanks for the apology! 396 00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:20,631 Thank you! 397 00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:28,431 Larry, right? Hi. 398 00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:31,142 I'm so grateful to you. Thank you so much for... 399 00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:32,476 How you doin'? 400 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:35,146 I've been better, been worse. 401 00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:41,277 You know you're on your way to get a soy latte and then you're here. 402 00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:44,947 Did you notice there was a sweater on that chair over there? 403 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,867 I gave it to you to keep you warm. 404 00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:49,827 I was kind of in and out of consciousness. 405 00:22:49,911 --> 00:22:52,538 - I don't remember a sweater. - Was anybody else here? 406 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:55,124 The nurses, my wife. My wife's been in the room. 407 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:59,337 I wonder if you wouldn't mind just giving her a quick call to ask her 408 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:01,797 if she's saw a sweater in the room? 409 00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,008 I'm not going to call my wife about a sweater, Larry. 410 00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,676 She's got a lot going on right now. 411 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,678 She's studying for her real estate license. 412 00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:09,472 I'm not going to bother her over the sweater. 413 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:11,974 We're talking about five seconds. A phone rings. 414 00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:15,186 "Did you see a sweater in the hospital room when you were here?" 415 00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:16,562 No. 416 00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:19,315 Hangs up. Or, "yes". Hangs up. 417 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:22,985 - How's that a bother? - Yeah, I'll try. 418 00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:26,822 You'll try? What does that mean, you'll try? 419 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:30,993 You know what, Larry, this has already been a lot. Now I need to rest. 420 00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:33,371 But you are resting. You're laying on a bed. 421 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:34,997 Larry, I'm in a serious condition. 422 00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,083 I understand that, but you're resting. 423 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:40,294 I want to rest with my eyes closed. 424 00:23:40,378 --> 00:23:41,504 You want to sleep? 425 00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:43,798 No, I just want to rest with my eyes closed for a while. 426 00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:48,052 So, you consider resting as something done with your eyes closed only? 427 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:50,596 I've got to get back to resting, please, Larry. 428 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,139 Okay. Fine. 429 00:23:52,807 --> 00:23:56,185 Don't look under my bed. There's nothing in this room for you, Larry. 430 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,402 I was just talking to Ben. 431 00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:09,282 I'm curious as to whether or not you ever saw his wife coming out 432 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:11,409 of his room with a blue sweater. 433 00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:12,618 I don't know. 434 00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:14,036 You don't know if you saw her 435 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,539 or you don't know if you saw her with a sweater? 436 00:24:16,622 --> 00:24:17,874 I'm busy working. 437 00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:19,917 I understand you're busy and you're working, 438 00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:22,670 but that doesn't preclude you from noticing things. 439 00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:25,381 If an elephant walked down this hall here, 440 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,550 would you notice the elephant, even though you were working? 441 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:30,803 If I'm busy, real busy, it might just get by me. 442 00:24:30,887 --> 00:24:33,306 So, the elephant would escape your attention? 443 00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:35,141 You might try the lost and found. 444 00:24:35,266 --> 00:24:37,435 Nobody's ever found anything in the lost and found, 445 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,478 especially the person who lost it. 446 00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:43,357 My name, my number, how about if I stick it right up here? 447 00:24:43,441 --> 00:24:44,692 Is that blocking anything? 448 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,904 Just Mrs. Ramirez's vitals, but you could always flip it over. 449 00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:51,449 If you see anybody enter or leave that room with a blue sweater, 450 00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:53,951 I'd really appreciate it if you'd call me. 451 00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:57,038 - I'll try. - You couldn't just say yes? 452 00:24:57,121 --> 00:24:58,372 I'll see what I can do. 453 00:24:58,456 --> 00:25:00,958 I got to tell you something. I don't get this hospital. 454 00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:04,003 Nobody can multitask. Nobody can be disturbed when they're resting. 455 00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:05,963 Nobody can be bothered when they're busy. 456 00:25:06,047 --> 00:25:09,008 I pray to God nothing ever happens to me and I wind up in this place. 457 00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:10,885 They'll take my clothes off and they'll operate, 458 00:25:10,968 --> 00:25:13,888 I'll never see the clothes again. You'll have to wheel me out of here naked. 459 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:20,770 All I'm saying is if I were a ghost, why not haunt? 460 00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:23,564 - What else you got to do? - That's the whole agenda. 461 00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:25,399 Haunting must be fun. 462 00:25:25,483 --> 00:25:29,111 Hey! Igor! All ready? 463 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:30,655 How you doin'? 464 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:35,493 I changed my mind. The vase is no longer for sale. 465 00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:37,620 Are you not in business to sell vases? 466 00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:40,373 I am, but this happens, you know. 467 00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:41,541 It's sentimental value. 468 00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:44,126 I know why he changed his mind. 469 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:47,505 Timor talked to Gregor and Gregor talked to Igor. 470 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:49,257 Isn't that how it works? Right? 471 00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:51,884 You're accusing me of sneaking around? 472 00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:54,387 I'm not saying you're sneaky. I'm saying they spoke to you. 473 00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:57,014 You can't come into my store and tell me that I am... 474 00:25:57,098 --> 00:25:59,058 We had a deal. What are you doing? 475 00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:01,644 Your wife's not going to fuck you anymore. 476 00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:03,646 And that's on you. I can do whatever I want. 477 00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:05,773 What, because we didn't like the goulash? 478 00:26:05,857 --> 00:26:08,609 - What are you talking about, goulash? - You know what I'm talking about! 479 00:26:08,693 --> 00:26:11,237 You know, I know that's what happened. 480 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,864 Gregor talked to you. 481 00:26:12,947 --> 00:26:15,575 Don't sell vase. They do not like goulash. 482 00:26:15,658 --> 00:26:18,452 And you say, okay, okay, Gregor. 483 00:26:18,536 --> 00:26:20,454 - You're insane person. - I'm not insane! 484 00:26:20,538 --> 00:26:22,248 You don't know what you're talking about! 485 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:26,419 We didn't like the goulash. 486 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:29,130 - I'm about to snap. - Go ahead and snap. 487 00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,507 I will snap. Get out of here! 488 00:26:31,591 --> 00:26:34,385 Fine! And I know your brothers. 489 00:26:34,468 --> 00:26:36,554 Go play with tinker toy, you fucking child! 490 00:26:36,679 --> 00:26:38,556 Gregor's your brother, Timor's your brother 491 00:26:38,681 --> 00:26:41,100 and that asshole who runs that fucking pet store, Bulvor, 492 00:26:41,184 --> 00:26:43,144 he's your brother too probably! 493 00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:51,194 - Here you go. - Thank you. 494 00:26:53,905 --> 00:26:55,490 Oh my God! 495 00:26:58,409 --> 00:27:01,120 Horrible. Ten thousand dollars. 496 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:04,040 She better be happy. 497 00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:08,461 Hey, have you ever heard me, use the term "fun fact"? 498 00:27:08,753 --> 00:27:09,795 No. 499 00:27:09,879 --> 00:27:14,175 That's 'cause I never have. Until now, 'cause I have a fun fact. 500 00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:16,802 - You have a fun fact? - I do. 501 00:27:16,886 --> 00:27:22,308 The eskimos have seventeen words for snow and no word for I'm sorry. 502 00:27:22,683 --> 00:27:24,477 I don't know if that fact is fun. 503 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,395 Look what it says about the eskimo though. 504 00:27:26,479 --> 00:27:30,775 Either they never do anything wrong to apologize for 'cause they're so perfect. 505 00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:33,194 Or they just don't give a fuck. 506 00:27:33,277 --> 00:27:35,321 I ate your blubber. Live with it. 507 00:27:35,404 --> 00:27:37,573 I just don't think that's a fun fact. 508 00:27:39,242 --> 00:27:42,370 Holy shit! That's Ben. He's got my sweater! 509 00:27:42,453 --> 00:27:44,956 He's got my sweater on! That's the guy from the hospital! 510 00:27:45,039 --> 00:27:46,791 He's got my sweater! 511 00:27:50,378 --> 00:27:51,671 Shit! 512 00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:55,925 - Fuck! - Shit! 513 00:27:56,342 --> 00:27:59,637 Did you forget we're transporting something very delicate? 514 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,849 - You should've wrapped it better! - You should've not hit the brakes! 515 00:28:02,932 --> 00:28:04,600 Where the hell did he go? 516 00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:07,895 Shit. I don't even know what I'm going to do. 517 00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,981 You know what, I'll pay for it. 518 00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:13,651 Thank you. Thank you very much. I will accept that. 519 00:28:14,485 --> 00:28:16,571 What are you talking about? You're going to let me pay for it? 520 00:28:16,654 --> 00:28:17,697 Why wouldn't I? 521 00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:19,657 I just figured I'd make an insincere gesture, 522 00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:22,869 you would grudgingly say you'll pay half and we'll split it, 523 00:28:22,952 --> 00:28:24,745 and we'd both be unhappy with the compromise. 524 00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:28,207 Fun fact, if you make an insincere gesture, 525 00:28:28,291 --> 00:28:30,585 the other person might accept it. 526 00:28:30,668 --> 00:28:32,712 Fun fact, even if I make an insincere gesture, 527 00:28:32,795 --> 00:28:34,797 the other person should grudgingly pay for half. 528 00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:37,633 - How is that a fact? - It's not a fact and it's not fun. 529 00:28:37,717 --> 00:28:41,095 Yeah, I know. Now, what am I going to get Susie? 530 00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:42,638 I don't know. I'll talk to her. 531 00:28:42,722 --> 00:28:44,974 You will? I hope that wasn't insincere. 532 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:47,935 - No, it was begrudging. - Good, we're clear. 533 00:28:55,359 --> 00:28:56,819 - Hey, Lar. - Hey. 534 00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:59,280 - Can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah, come on in. 535 00:29:03,784 --> 00:29:06,370 - Maybe you better sit down. - No, I'm good. What's up? 536 00:29:06,496 --> 00:29:09,248 - Take a seat. - I'm good standing. 537 00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:13,544 You know what Winston Churchill said? Why stand when you can sit? 538 00:29:13,628 --> 00:29:15,755 Did you just come over here to tell me to listen to everything 539 00:29:15,838 --> 00:29:18,132 Winston Churchill said? What do you want? 540 00:29:18,216 --> 00:29:20,718 Do you say vase or vase? 541 00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,887 I say vase. 542 00:29:24,055 --> 00:29:25,473 Your vase broke. 543 00:29:25,806 --> 00:29:28,559 - What? - Smashed. Broke. 544 00:29:28,643 --> 00:29:31,354 Well, I guess you're just going to have to go get another one. 545 00:29:31,479 --> 00:29:36,692 Because if you don't, Larry, I am going to sit the lovely Irma Kostroski down 546 00:29:36,776 --> 00:29:39,237 and I'm going to tell her horror after horror 547 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,656 about the vaginal rejuvenation surgery. 548 00:29:41,739 --> 00:29:45,618 I'm going to tell her that I had a hematoma the size of Kansas. 549 00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:49,247 That I had necrosis, that my labia was so swollen, 550 00:29:49,330 --> 00:29:52,583 I couldn't walk for months. Her worst nightmare. 551 00:29:52,667 --> 00:29:55,086 I wish you wouldn't do that. You don't know what it's like 552 00:29:55,169 --> 00:29:56,420 to have sex with this woman. 553 00:29:56,504 --> 00:30:01,509 Well, we had a deal. Vase for vaginal rejuvenation. So get me the vase. 554 00:30:01,759 --> 00:30:03,261 Okay. 555 00:30:06,222 --> 00:30:08,558 My grandmother, she used to make goulash 556 00:30:08,641 --> 00:30:10,142 and it was a little different than yours. 557 00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:13,354 I guess I had a trouble making the transition to a different goulash. 558 00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:17,775 I just hope that you'll accept my apology. 559 00:30:17,859 --> 00:30:19,360 I was a hundred percent in the wrong. 560 00:30:19,443 --> 00:30:21,821 Saying that you were Timor and Igor's brother when in fact, 561 00:30:21,904 --> 00:30:25,283 you probably have no relationship with them at all... 562 00:30:25,408 --> 00:30:29,036 The more I thought about it, how can they possibly be your brothers, 563 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,454 even though you speak 564 00:30:30,538 --> 00:30:34,584 with a very similar, nondescript Eastern European accent? 565 00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:36,627 I would venture to say if you all shaved, 566 00:30:36,711 --> 00:30:38,671 you might all look like triplets. 567 00:30:38,754 --> 00:30:42,341 So, I'm sorry if I offended or insulted you in any way. 568 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,552 - So you are goulash guy? - Yes. 569 00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:48,431 Can I put my arms around you in gratitude? 570 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:50,933 All right, that takes a big man. 571 00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:53,561 I appreciate it, big man. I accept your apology. 572 00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:56,397 And by the way, if you ever want to tell me 573 00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:00,484 why you're keeping the relationship a secret, I won't tell a soul. 574 00:31:02,403 --> 00:31:06,324 Would you like to apologize for little sketch you did 575 00:31:06,407 --> 00:31:08,784 when you did the voice of what I sound like? 576 00:31:08,868 --> 00:31:13,789 I was just trying to recreate what in my warped imagination may have occurred. 577 00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:17,293 If it did, you would've said, I am so sorry, Timor. 578 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:18,961 This is a vase. This is business. 579 00:31:19,045 --> 00:31:20,922 Who cares if he didn't like your goulash? 580 00:31:21,005 --> 00:31:23,591 I have tried your goulash. Not so good. 581 00:31:23,674 --> 00:31:28,262 Anyway, that's why I am here to offer you my apology 582 00:31:28,346 --> 00:31:31,891 and I would also like to buy the vase. 583 00:31:32,141 --> 00:31:33,559 Ten thousand dollars. 584 00:31:33,643 --> 00:31:37,104 You were going to sell it to my friend for five thousand. 585 00:31:37,188 --> 00:31:39,941 Yes, but I understand Seinfeld is in syndication. 586 00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:43,027 - Okay. - Splendid. 587 00:31:56,958 --> 00:31:59,669 Asshole! Yeah, you! 588 00:31:59,794 --> 00:32:01,838 You almost killed me and my dog the other day! 589 00:32:01,921 --> 00:32:04,799 - What are you talking about? - You don't think I'd remember? 590 00:32:04,882 --> 00:32:08,010 - I got your license plate, asshole! - I wasn't even driving! 591 00:32:08,094 --> 00:32:10,888 I ought to beat your fucking ass right now, you skinny little bitch! 592 00:32:10,972 --> 00:32:12,515 Let's go! 593 00:32:19,856 --> 00:32:22,567 You might want to be a little more careful next time, huh? 594 00:32:31,742 --> 00:32:37,039 By the way, I'm not going to get the vaginal surgery. 595 00:32:37,165 --> 00:32:38,583 Why? 596 00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:41,794 Well, Susie gave me a little sneak peek. 597 00:32:43,504 --> 00:32:45,047 I do not want any part of that. 598 00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:48,092 It was like a melted cave. 599 00:32:48,593 --> 00:32:50,845 If this is what the doctor did to her, 600 00:32:50,928 --> 00:32:53,681 heaven forbid, I should do anything like that. 601 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:55,975 Oh my God. 602 00:32:56,309 --> 00:32:59,645 Jeff, I am not mad at you about the vase anymore. 603 00:32:59,729 --> 00:33:02,481 You and your clumsy friend are off the hook. 604 00:33:02,565 --> 00:33:04,442 'Cause I came up with something I'd rather have. 605 00:33:04,525 --> 00:33:08,654 - What? Tell me. - Vaginal rejuvenation surgery. 606 00:33:09,447 --> 00:33:11,282 You want to rejuvenate your vagina? 607 00:33:11,365 --> 00:33:13,284 They do a tightening and a lift. 608 00:33:15,912 --> 00:33:17,330 You got it. 609 00:33:17,413 --> 00:33:19,790 So, you're not getting the surgery? 610 00:33:19,874 --> 00:33:23,920 No. We wouldn't be able to make love for six weeks. 611 00:33:24,295 --> 00:33:27,590 That'd be a torture. A torture, right? 612 00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:32,053 - Oh, no! - Oh, yes! 613 00:33:32,136 --> 00:33:35,264 - Oh, God. - Come on, let me nuzzle you.