1 00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:03,042 - (View-Master clicks) - ADULT SHELDON: In any ecosystem, 2 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:07,839 you'll find a delicate balance between predator and prey. 3 00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,336 Some well-known predators 4 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,009 include Panthera leo, 5 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,303 Ursus arctos, 6 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,508 and star of the 1987 film Predator, 7 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,050 Predator. 8 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,226 Now, examples of prey 9 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,272 include Oryctolagus cuniculus, 10 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,391 Gallus gallus domesticus, 11 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,227 and weighing in at 58 pounds soaking wet, 12 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,237 Diminutive homo novus... 13 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,064 curiously, a close relative 14 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,866 of Gallus gallus domesticus. 15 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,159 ♪ Two, three, four ♪ 16 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,158 ("Fix Me" by Black Flag plays) 17 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,911 (kids shouting) 18 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,583 ♪ Fix me, fix my head ♪ 19 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,503 ♪ Fix me please, I don't want to be dead... ♪ 20 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:48,917 LUIS: Cooper. 21 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:50,506 Your stop. 22 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,964 Would you mind dropping me off closer to my house? 23 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,925 You know I'm not allowed to do that. 24 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,927 What if I did your taxes? 25 00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,848 Sorry, kiddo. 26 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,222 I could've gotten you a nice refund. 27 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,557 ADULT SHELDON: The perilous journey 28 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,688 from the bus stop to my front door 29 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,111 was 97.5 meters. 30 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,194 FYI, insisting on using the metric system 31 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,823 in East Texas is another reason I was hunted by predators. 32 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,587 ♪♪ 33 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,110 (panting) Homo novus needs a Yoo-hoo. 34 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,649 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 35 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:00,485 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 36 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,287 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 37 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,241 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 38 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,544 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 39 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:19,636 Jiu-jitsu? 40 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,465 I've decided to learn self-defense. 41 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,141 - Why? - I'm quite small, 42 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,561 and will be for several years, 43 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,559 maybe even more if I'm a late bloomer. 44 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,141 Your dad's big, maybe you'll take after him. 45 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,601 We both like my mom. 46 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,981 I think that's where the similarities end. 47 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:36,528 You know, one of the books mentioned 48 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,527 a Vietnamese martial art. 49 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,734 Vovinam. I'm a blue belt. 50 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,909 - Wow. - Don't be impressed. 51 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,033 It's what you get when your mom buys the uniform. 52 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,989 Do you remember any of it? 53 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,791 I don't even know where the belt is. 54 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:53,838 The book says jiu-jitsu 55 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,540 is based on using your attacker's 56 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:56,966 momentum against them. 57 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,673 It's just physics. Come at me. 58 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,504 Like, run at you? 59 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,511 Well, I'm new to this, so maybe just walk quickly. 60 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,134 And what happens when I get to you? 61 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,436 I'll use your inertia to take you down. 62 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:09,679 Okay. 63 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,180 ♪ Hit it ♪ 64 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,811 ♪ It takes two to make a thing go right ♪ 65 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,313 (grunting) 66 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,979 And when does inertia take me down? 67 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:19,901 (straining): Any second. 68 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,074 ♪ I got an idea that I wanna share ♪ 69 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,277 ♪ You don't like it, so what? I don't care... ♪ 70 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,787 I don't understand. 71 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,239 I'm using physics. 72 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,207 (grunting) 73 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,126 ♪ All of my followers 'cause all I want is respect... ♪ 74 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,250 This leg lock is called an Outside Ashi Garami. 75 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,081 What happens next? 76 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,087 That depends, is this your foot or mine? 77 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,543 ♪ It takes two to make it outta sight. ♪ 78 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,345 ♪♪ 79 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,344 LUIS: Cooper. Your stop. 80 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,653 (panting) 81 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,990 Ahh. 82 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,122 I bowled a new high score last night. 83 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,077 Nice. 84 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,419 - I got two turkeys. - What's a turkey? 85 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,999 It's three strikes in a row. 86 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,800 Why do they call it a turkey? 87 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:25,551 Well, when they first invented bowling, 88 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:29,055 they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. 89 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,477 Eventually, they switched to balls 90 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,896 to cut down on the smell. 91 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,518 Why you lying to her? 92 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,101 I find it keeps my mind sharp. (chuckles) 93 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,148 Sheldon, breakfast! 94 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,604 SHELDON: Be right there! 95 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,697 MARY: Sheldon! 96 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,074 Coming! 97 00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,372 (rustling) 98 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,630 Hello. 99 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:05,677 MARY: Shelly, you all right? 100 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:06,504 Yes. 101 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,679 I must be a little sore 102 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,258 from doing jiu-jitsu with Tam yesterday. 103 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,968 Why were you doing jiu-jitsu? 104 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:15,016 We're boys. Roughhousing is what we do. 105 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,478 (popping) 106 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,195 - What was that? - What was what? 107 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,738 That sound. 108 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:27,154 - What sound? - (popping) 109 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,531 What's all this? 110 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,912 An extra layer of protection. 111 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,663 Protection from what? 112 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:40,417 Sweetie, is someone bothering you? 113 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,128 - Yes. - Who is it? 114 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,834 I'd rather not talk about it. 115 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,669 No, I want a name right now. 116 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:47,548 Mary. 117 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,346 Have you been hurting him? 118 00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,220 Only with my words. 119 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,800 Tell me who it is, Shelly. 120 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:53,934 Mary, slow down. 121 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,636 Don't tell me to slow down. 122 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,768 - Someone is bullying him. - Okay. 123 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:58,894 Okay. 124 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,692 Sheldon, you can't go to school wearing all that. 125 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,394 Go to your room and take it off. 126 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,399 Yes, sir. 127 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,277 (rustling, popping) 128 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:08,528 You go with him. 129 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,075 But my cereal's gonna get soggy. 130 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,778 - Go. - (sighs) 131 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,699 I'd like one nice morning. 132 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,700 Why aren't you more upset about this? 133 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,457 I am. I just think we should proceed with caution. 134 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,331 - Someone is hurting our son. - I understand. 135 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,257 But handling bullies is tricky. It... 136 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,334 It's easy to make things worse. 137 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,170 And what makes you the expert? 138 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,302 Honey, I was a bully. 139 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:33,591 MEEMAW: He's right. 140 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,767 You get involved in this in the wrong way, 141 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,722 and they'll take it out on Sheldon. 142 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,398 Well, I'm sorry, but I can't just stand by. 143 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,278 Georgie, I need to talk to you, and wake up, 144 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,904 you're gonna be late. 145 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,954 Got it covered. I slept in my clothes. 146 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:58,329 Oh, Lord. Look, somebody has been picking on your brother. 147 00:06:58,543 --> 00:06:59,579 You know anything about it? 148 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:00,618 No. 149 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,291 You better not be covering for anybody. 150 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,168 I'm not. Most kids at school ignore him, 151 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,840 and the girls all think he's cute. 152 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,168 It's kind of annoying. 153 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,670 Well, I need you to look after him. 154 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:11,754 Why? 155 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,556 Because I'm your mother, and I'm asking you nicely. 156 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:15,925 What if I don't want to? 157 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,932 I don't care, you're doing it. 158 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,223 How was that nice? 159 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,317 So there I was flying above the city, 160 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,690 but when I woke up, I couldn't fly. 161 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,148 That's like the dream you had where you were dating Madonna, 162 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,324 but when you woke up, you weren't. 163 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,275 Exactly. 164 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,578 You ever have the ones where your teeth are falling out? 165 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,906 Better my teeth than my hair, but... 166 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,246 - Sheldon? - Over here. 167 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,040 - What are you doing? - Hiding. 168 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,120 From who? 169 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,842 Is Billy the one giving you trouble? 170 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,131 No. 171 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,216 His dad? 172 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,387 No. 173 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:58,759 No... 174 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,350 She's a demon. 175 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,400 The little Sparks girl? 176 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,652 You're kidding. She seems so sweet. 177 00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,325 He says she slaps him around, takes his lunch money. 178 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,119 She even put a tadpole down his shirt. 179 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,491 Poor kid, he tucks in those shirts. 180 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,503 - She looks harmless. - She's cute. 181 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,009 So she probably gets away with stuff. 182 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,806 I'm like that. 183 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,511 I wonder if stray cats poop in that sandbox. 184 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:42,511 MARY: George. 185 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,187 You need to talk to her parents. 186 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:48,609 Me? Why me? 187 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,437 Because you're more intimidating than me. 188 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:52,897 That's rich. 189 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:04,871 Hey, Billy. 190 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,497 Hello, Missy's dad. 191 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,122 - Is your father home? - Yes. 192 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,667 Could you get him for me? 193 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:13,880 Happy to. 194 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,554 Dad, it's Missy's dad! 195 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,048 He's also Sheldon's dad! 196 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,303 HERSCHEL: Well, howdy, neighbor. 197 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,508 Hey, Herschel. 198 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,344 What brings you by? Chickens too loud? 199 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,475 - Nah, they been fine. - Good, good. 200 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,397 Fried up the noisy one last week. 201 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,601 That shut him up. Anyway, how can I help? 202 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,855 Uh, well... 203 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,354 It's come to my attention that, uh... 204 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,778 Sheldon's run into a bit of trouble with your daughter. 205 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,488 What kind of trouble? 206 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,986 He says she been beating on him. 207 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,077 - My Bobbi? - Yeah. 208 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,492 This one? The six-year-old? 209 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,454 Bobbi, get over here! 210 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,130 You realize I've taken dumps bigger than this kid. 211 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,134 - Hi, Daddy. - Hey, babydoll, uh, 212 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,713 Mr. Cooper says that you've been picking on Sheldon. 213 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,800 - Now, is that true? - No, Daddy. 214 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,384 Are you sure? 215 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,266 Okay, go wash up for dinner. 216 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,231 I don't know what to tell you, George. 217 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,478 I mean, is it, is it possible 218 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,104 your son has a little crush on her? 219 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,186 Oh, I don't think he's wired that way. 220 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,610 Oh, are you saying that he's a... 221 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:20,068 No, no, I'm saying he's a bookworm. (chuckles) 222 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,994 Unless she's math or a dictionary, he ain't interested. 223 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,580 - Mm. - Yeah. 224 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,166 Thanks for hearin' me out. 225 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,664 Your wife sent you over here, didn't she? 226 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,120 - I don't want to talk about it. - (chuckles) 227 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,462 I bet she did! 228 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:33,710 Not talkin' about it! 229 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,211 Tell her I said hi! 230 00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,917 (chuckles) 231 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,800 How'd it go? 232 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,261 Uh, good. Yeah. 233 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:44,675 I handled it. 234 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,430 Oh, thank the Lord. 235 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,308 Yeah. Me and the Lord. 236 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:49,730 Team effort. 237 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,110 (whirring) 238 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,456 Hello, Bobbi. 239 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,788 You told on me. 240 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,960 Well, actually, my brother 241 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,506 figured it out, so, technically, I would argue that I didn't. 242 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,170 Doesn't matter. 243 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,051 Uh, I should let you know, 244 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,845 I've read a book on jiu-jitsu. 245 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,803 And I'm prepared to throw it at you. 246 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,103 (screaming) 247 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:31,892 Shelly, it's just Bactine. 248 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:33,895 Aah! 249 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,146 I didn't even put it 250 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,602 on you yet. 251 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,312 (shushing softly) 252 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,781 You want to tell me what happened? 253 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,404 Bobbi Sparks came into the garage... 254 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,989 And she attacked you? 255 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,989 Not exactly. I tried to use jiu-jitsu on her, 256 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,619 but I tripped and fell. 257 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:53,453 Aw, baby. I'm so sorry you're havin' to deal with this. 258 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:54,502 It's okay. 259 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,422 German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, 260 00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,092 "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." 261 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,219 And do you feel stronger? 262 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,801 No. 263 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,720 How are the knees? 264 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,180 Better, thank you. 265 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,806 Good. 266 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,439 And regarding this jiu-jitsu stuff, you should know 267 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,142 that a man's not supposed to raise his hand to a woman. 268 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,978 Oh, I won't. I don't want to hurt myself again. 269 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,776 Did you ever have a bully when you were growing up? 270 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,406 Have you met your grandma? 271 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,040 I thought you said you handled it next door. 272 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,039 I did say that. 273 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,412 Where you goin'? 274 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:38,964 To handle it. 275 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,504 (quietly): Should've been you in the first place. 276 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:42,672 What? 277 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:43,923 Good luck! 278 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:45,261 (door shuts) 279 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,675 Way to go, Scooby! That's my newshound! 280 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,558 Missy, I could really use your help. 281 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,388 With what? 282 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,974 I'm being bullied by Bobbi Sparks. 283 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:58,525 Hilarious. Go on. 284 00:12:58,736 --> 00:12:59,897 Madame Doo! 285 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,186 That's me! 286 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,612 Mom says a man should never raise his hand to a woman. 287 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,614 But I believe I've found a loophole. 288 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,570 You're a woman, so you're allowed to hit her 289 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:10,950 as much as you want. 290 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:12,573 Why would I do that? 291 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,828 Because I'm willing to pay you. 292 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,079 How much? 293 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,207 My life savings, four dollars. 294 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:18,745 That's a good start. 295 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,377 Now, let's talk TV privileges. 296 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,624 What do you want? 297 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,214 Complete control every afternoon for two months. 298 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,467 That's when Professor Proton is on. 299 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,052 I know. Sucks for you. 300 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,301 (sighs) 301 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,182 I'm on fire! 302 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,566 (laughs) 303 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,232 Hello, Brenda. 304 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,733 Oh, hey, Mary. 305 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:44,696 How many lanes you need? 306 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,024 Actually, I'm here to talk to you. 307 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,651 Seems that our kids are havin' a little problem. 308 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,870 Yeah. Herschel told me. 309 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,580 Oh, good, good. 310 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,999 So, I was wondering what you're plannin' to do about it, 311 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,497 'cause the situation doesn't seem to be gettin' any better. 312 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,253 Well, if you haven't noticed, 313 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,164 I'm at work right now. 314 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,090 I see that. 315 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,588 But you understand 316 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,760 that your daughter's being abusive to my son. 317 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:11,132 Well, maybe your son needs to grow a pair. 318 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,928 And in due time, he will. 319 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:14,635 But right now, I expect you 320 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,720 to teach your children how to behave. 321 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,899 Connie Tucker to the front desk, please. 322 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,605 Connie Tucker. 323 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,228 Why are you calling her? 324 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,279 You say my daughter's harassing your son. 325 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:29,029 Well, her daughter's harassing me. 326 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:30,947 Hey, Mary. 327 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:33,119 - What are you doin' here? - Well, 328 00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,948 I was hopin' to have a rational conversation about Shelly, 329 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,954 but there's only one person being rational. 330 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,831 (grunts) Uh, and it ain't you. 331 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,871 Could you excuse us for just a minute? 332 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,126 Do you understand that you are in the place 333 00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,428 where I socialize three to four days a week? 334 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,926 So you care more about bowling than your grandson? 335 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,052 Of course not. I'm just saying 336 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,133 maybe there's a better way to go about it. 337 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,595 Now, I'm warnin' you, Brenda is one mean... 338 00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,180 I know you don't like bad language, 339 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,766 but we are in a bowling alley... one mean bitch. 340 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,188 Well, I can be mean, too. 341 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,732 Okay, you listen to me. You get your kid 342 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:07,984 in line or I... 343 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,323 What are you doing? 344 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,241 Get out of here. 345 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,863 This is my place of business. 346 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,579 And now I see where your daughter gets it. 347 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:17,656 BRENDA: You know what? 348 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,457 I have been nothin' but nice 349 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,581 to you and your family since the day y'all moved in, 350 00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:22,786 and I'm over it. 351 00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,546 Watching you walk around all holier 352 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:25,964 than thou, like you're better 353 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,962 than everyone else. Well, guess what, 354 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,463 you're not. 355 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,551 I'm gonna pray for you. 356 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,179 She says that to me all the time. 357 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,347 I'm not even sure she does it. 358 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:54,238 How'd it go? 359 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,820 I don't want to talk about it. 360 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,283 (sniffs) Is that pine? 361 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,744 We're not talkin' about it. 362 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,916 - (doorbell rings) - And you get that! 363 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,753 - Herschel. - Hey, George. 364 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,210 It has come to my attention 365 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,921 that your wife went to speak with my wife 366 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,597 at her place of work, 367 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,674 - and, uh... - She send you over here? 368 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,765 Uh, the-the important thing is that I'm here to tell you 369 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,643 that, uh, Mary's behavior was inappropriate. 370 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,265 You know, it's interesting. 371 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,317 When I came to your house, you were laughin', 372 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,401 and... 373 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,149 now you're all serious. 374 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:31,441 Why is that? 375 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,281 What do you say we go talk about this 376 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,029 somewhere a little more comfortable? 377 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,655 MARY (sharply): Who's at the door? 378 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,159 (chickens clucking) 379 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,462 Make yourself at home. 380 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,960 Oh, boy. 381 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,212 You hang out in here? 382 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,213 Sure. 383 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,464 Once you get used to the smell, 384 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,386 it's not so bad. (chuckles) 385 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:56,805 I coach a high school football team. 386 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,132 This smells like petunias. 387 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,762 (laughs) I like to... 388 00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,310 take a break from the family and... 389 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,809 come out here and watch the games. 390 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,356 - Ooh! - (chuckles) 391 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,475 (music playing) 392 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:09,977 Your wife don't mind? 393 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,061 She don't know. 394 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,361 She's scared to death of chickens. 395 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,280 - Is that right? - Once I found out, 396 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,654 buildin' this coop was a no-brainer. 397 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,656 (laughing) 398 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,238 ♪ I sure did love... ♪ 399 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,039 You were gone so long. 400 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,371 How did it go? 401 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,163 Well... 402 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,044 (English accent): One lump or two? 403 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,467 Two, please. 404 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:35,927 Billy? 405 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,051 Why would I want lumpy tea? 406 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,257 Isn't he pretty? 407 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,341 Very pretty. 408 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,018 I feel pretty. 409 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:48,057 ♪ Girl, you know it's true ♪ 410 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,268 ♪ My love... ♪ 411 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:51,897 I handled it. 412 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,812 Thank you so much. 413 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,647 We're family. It's what we do. 414 00:17:57,952 --> 00:18:00,410 (Herschel and George Sr. chuckling) 415 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,368 Listen, I'm sorry my wife went down to the bowling alley. 416 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,451 Please, I'm sorry Brenda made me come to your door. 417 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:07,375 I'm not. 418 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,544 This is the most fun I've had all week. 419 00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,873 I-I feel bad about the whole thing with the kids. 420 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,799 Hey, it happens. 421 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,469 I know, but Bobbi shouldn't be beatin' on Sheldon like that. 422 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,387 - It's not okay. - What's not okay 423 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,511 is Sheldon gettin' beat up by a little girl. 424 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,549 Well... 425 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,176 Yeah. 426 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:26,011 (both chuckling) 427 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,055 Look, I'll talk to Bobbi. 428 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,307 I don't know if it'll help, but I'll try. 429 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,442 - Hey, you're a good man. - Mm. 430 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,275 Yeah, I-I should be headin' back. 431 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:36,445 Mm. 432 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,899 All right, well, look, come on by anytime. 433 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:39,824 Yeah. 434 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,370 You know, we should probably get our stories straight 435 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:45,243 before we talk to our respective... 436 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,074 - mates. - Sure. 437 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,158 What do you want to say? 438 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:50,418 How 'bout this? 439 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:52,586 We had words, 440 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,123 it almost got ugly, 441 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,878 but we came to an understanding. 442 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:56,753 - I like that. - Yeah. 443 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,085 You want to take a swing at me? 444 00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,385 Make it look real? 445 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:02,761 I have a freakishly high tolerance for pain. 446 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,304 No, no. But you're sweet for offering. 447 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,769 - You have a good night. - You, too, pal. (chuckles) 448 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,016 BRENDA: Herschel! 449 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,022 Where the hell are you?! 450 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,098 Shh. 451 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,894 (quietly): I built a hidey-hole under here, 452 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,024 but there's only room for one of us. 453 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,407 Where is that fat dumbass? 454 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:24,323 Believe it or not, that means I'm gettin' lucky tonight. 455 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,788 Y'all have an odd relationship. 456 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,662 Love is a mysterious thing. 457 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,834 BRENDA: Herschel! 458 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:40,510 ADULT SHELDON: Existing in a world of predators isn't easy, 459 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,589 but we prey have developed several natural defenses 460 00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,049 to help us survive. 461 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,508 There's playing dead, 462 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,593 - warning calls, camouflage... - (bicycle bell rings) 463 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,645 ♪♪ 464 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,564 ...and, last but certainly not least, 465 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,392 good old-fashioned running away. 466 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,110 (screaming) 467 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,784 A little screaming never hurts either.