1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,284 ("Home Computer" by Kraftwerk playing) 2 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,880 ♪ I program my home computer ♪ 3 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,008 ♪ Beam myself into the future. ♪ 4 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,384 ADULT SHELDON: Power has always been a deadly narcotic, 5 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,089 and in 1989, 6 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:19,051 RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL 7 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,101 was my drug of choice. 8 00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,640 With an Intel 8086 9 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,144 running at eight megahertz 10 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,602 and a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy drive, 11 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:29,480 there was nothing 12 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,686 I couldn't do. 13 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,692 From adding snazzy graphics 14 00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,149 to my homework... 15 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,193 So snazzy. 16 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,657 ...to easily alphabetizing 17 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,706 my list of enemies and their crimes. 18 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,875 - So easy. - (door sensor chimes) 19 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,412 Sheldon, time to go. 20 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,247 We really need to get one of these. 21 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,378 What on earth do we need a computer for? 22 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,550 Yeah, we got you and your big head. 23 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:54,377 But we can get 24 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,677 so much accomplished. 25 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,005 I could use a spreadsheet program 26 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,715 to keep track of your expenses. 27 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,516 I do that in the back of my checkbook. 28 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,686 Yes, but does your checkbook go "beep" when you open it? 29 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:04,850 I don't think so. 30 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:06,351 Plus, the computer 31 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,899 can organize your recipes. 32 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,726 But my recipes are organized. 33 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,061 On index cards. 34 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,612 Like a cave person. 35 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,735 Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that. 36 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,282 (sighs) It doesn't matter, Sheldon. 37 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:17,984 We can't afford a computer. 38 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,490 Sure we can. It's only $998, 39 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,914 and Dave says we can buy it on easy monthly payments. 40 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,115 That's true. 41 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,245 Stay out of this, Dave. 42 00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:26,576 Come on. 43 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:27,535 We got to get home. 44 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,335 But... 45 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:29,913 Sheldon, I said no. 46 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:30,918 I can make you a good deal 47 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:31,919 on the floor model, 48 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:32,965 Mrs. Cooper. 49 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,883 Seriously, Dave, you're getting on my nerves. 50 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:36,924 It's not fair. 51 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,675 You bought Missy a Ring Pop. 52 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:39,964 For ten cents. 53 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,425 - And I'm worth every penny. - Let's go. 54 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:43,846 Sorry, Dave. 55 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,428 We're living paycheck to paycheck. 56 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:46,600 Move! 57 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,974 (door sensor chimes) 58 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,360 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 59 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,189 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 60 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,775 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 61 00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,702 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 62 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:05,372 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 63 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,959 - Ah, RadioShack. - Ah, RadioShack. 64 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,131 Here it is, the Tandy 1000 SL computer system. 65 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,381 Sheldon was going on and on about that thing today. 66 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,303 I've never seen one so easy to use. 67 00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,597 FEMALE VOICE: Greetings. Need directions back to your planet? 68 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,470 This technology is more advanced than we thought. 69 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:24,846 GEORGE JR.: You know that movie E.T.? 70 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,057 The kid who finds him, his name is Elliott, 71 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,514 which starts with an "E" and ends with a "T." 72 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,852 Coincidence? 73 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,434 I don't think so. 74 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,652 You're gonna live with us forever, aren't you? 75 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,447 So, Sheldon wants a computer? 76 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:38,564 Ever since he could talk. 77 00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:39,991 But now more than ever. 78 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,693 Well, he should get a job after school. 79 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:42,823 Save up and buy one. 80 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,700 Get a job? He's nine. 81 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:45,996 I mowed lawns when I was his age. 82 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,164 Made pretty good money. 83 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,242 You want Sheldon to mow lawns? 84 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,085 He's so pale, five minutes in the sun, 85 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,787 he'd burst into flames. 86 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,292 I would pay to see that. 87 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,373 Shut up, Georgie. 88 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:56,582 I hope you told him 89 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:57,588 we can't afford it. 90 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:58,839 Of course. 91 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,503 I could buy it for him, 92 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,554 and then y'all could pay me back when you can. 93 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,508 Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me. 94 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,343 Well, that was not my intention, 95 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,144 but I'm glad to hear it. 96 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,596 I can pay my own bills 97 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:11,852 and take care of my family. 98 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,184 There are expenses we could cut back on 99 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,860 so we could afford a computer. 100 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,607 You mean like the money you give to church? 101 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,738 No, I mean like the money you give 102 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,486 to the Lone Star Beer company. 103 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:22,863 (chuckles) Good one, Mom. 104 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,034 - Shut up. - Shut up, pumpkin. - Shut up. 105 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,236 We're not getting a computer. 106 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,196 We don't need your money. 107 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,323 Where are you going? 108 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,084 To get a... glass of milk. 109 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,752 He's lying. He's getting a beer. 110 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,125 Shut up, Georgie. 111 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:36,710 (refrigerator opens) 112 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:43,971 Mom? 113 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,557 Why are you still up? 114 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,552 Madame Curie is on the roof, 115 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,764 and she's not wearing her hat. 116 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,269 You're just dreaming, baby. 117 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,734 But she'll be cold without her hat. 118 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,903 I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep. 119 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,648 Mm, thanks, Mom. 120 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,233 You're the best. 121 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,449 Oh, Lord. 122 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,465 (sighs) 123 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,758 I'm guessing we're not having our once-a-week. 124 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,425 Sorry, I only have relations with gentlemen I like. 125 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,435 Oh, come on. You know how I feel 126 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,478 about your mother meddlin' in our finances. 127 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,977 She wasn't meddlin', she was offering to help. 128 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,059 And that computer is not some silly toy. 129 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,065 Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork, 130 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,114 and I could use it to... organize my recipes. 131 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,112 You already got 'em organized on those little cards. 132 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,488 Yeah, like a cave person. 133 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,740 Well, it doesn't matter. 134 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,662 We can't afford it, end of story. 135 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,165 Not exactly end of story. 136 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:54,583 What's that mean? 137 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,627 I've been setting money aside the last couple of years, 138 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,420 and this might be a good use for it. 139 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:00,665 Money from what? 140 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,466 You know, here and there. 141 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,173 Bookkeeping for the church, 142 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,378 some seamstress work, 143 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,510 birthday money from my Aunt Zelda. 144 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,341 And just how much of this "here and there" money 145 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,641 you got saved up? 146 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,469 Well, seeing as it's my money, 147 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,145 I don't think that's any of your business. 148 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,768 (chuckles): None of my business? 149 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:17,974 You see every nickel 150 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,855 I make, and you got secret money? 151 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,811 It's not secret. I just told you. 152 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,650 Where you hiding it? 153 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,323 (sighs) Well, now you're headed into secret territory. 154 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,401 Oh, okay. 155 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,779 Just so I'm clear, my money's our money, 156 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,283 but your money's your money. 157 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,159 That's right. 158 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,287 Oh, good to know. 159 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,335 I'm glad we're not having our once-a-week 160 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,129 'cause I am not in the mood. 161 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,462 Really? 162 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,134 That's too bad. 163 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,927 Why? Are you? 164 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,216 No! 165 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,391 That was uncalled for. 166 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,441 ♪ Love can make you weep... ♪ 167 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,981 I forgot to tell you, a girl called for you. 168 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,024 What girl? 169 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,730 I don't know. A girl. 170 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:06,905 Well, what'd she say? 171 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,325 It's hard to remember. This was months ago. 172 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,285 Hey. 173 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:13,992 Two cases? 174 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,539 You've got to be kidding me. 175 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,161 Don't worry, I didn't use your money. 176 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,538 I used mine. 177 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,255 ♪ Something so strong... ♪ 178 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,172 Finish your dinner 179 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,215 and then pack a bag. 180 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,634 We are going to Meemaw's. 181 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:27,793 Why? 182 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,255 Because your mom and dad need a break from each other. 183 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,305 For how long? 184 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,304 I don't know. Just pack. 185 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,059 Will I need earmuffs? 186 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:37,603 Sure, if you want. 187 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,557 Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures. 188 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,891 Then don't bring it. 189 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,859 I'll just bring my almanac. 190 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,356 You know what, I'll bring both. 191 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:46,896 (exhales) 192 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,322 Should I pack my toothbrush 193 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,650 or use the one I keep at Meemaw's? 194 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,030 I got this one. 195 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,782 Nobody cares. 196 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,075 I don't want to go to Meemaw's house. 197 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,577 What if that girl calls back? 198 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,283 Fine, then stay here with your father. 199 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,664 Sheldon and Missy, we are out of here in half an hour. 200 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,624 Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush. 201 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,639 (doorbell rings) 202 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:20,221 Come on in. 203 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,101 Mom and Dad need a break. 204 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,603 We don't know how long. 205 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,027 What's he got in there? 206 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,445 Everything. 207 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:35,782 SPORTSCASTER: First and ten in the closing minutes of the fourth quarter... 208 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,704 I ain't never getting married. 209 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,408 - That so? - Yeah. 210 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,335 - Women are nothing but trouble. - (phone ringing) 211 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:44,457 I'll get it! 212 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,256 Hello, Georgie speaking. 213 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,676 Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid? 214 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,592 Who was it? 215 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,091 Nobody. 216 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,175 This little tiff 217 00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,602 between your mom and me will blow over. 218 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,020 Don't make a big deal of it. 219 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,472 I'm not. I'm just saying 220 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,227 I'm better suited to the single life. 221 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:05,975 And how do you picture that? 222 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,106 Okay, well, you know the buffet at Golden Corral, 223 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,277 where there's all kinds of choices 224 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,946 and you can have as much as you want? 225 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:11,817 Yeah. 226 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,525 It'll be like that, only with hot girls. 227 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,362 Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars 228 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,321 you're married before you're 25. 229 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,448 You got a bet. 230 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,167 I feel like I'm stealing your money. 231 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,420 ADULT SHELDON: Georgie married his first wife at 19. 232 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,793 He never paid my father. 233 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,089 Well, I got to tell you how happy I am 234 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,924 that y'all are spending the night with me. 235 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,261 Your house smells like cigarettes. 236 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,310 So happy. 237 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,933 Sheldon, we've talked about this. 238 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,357 You don't need to announce to people how things smell. 239 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:47,228 Hmm. 240 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,817 All right, you two, settle in. 241 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,146 Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce? 242 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,650 Of course not. 243 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,448 Are you sure? Packing up your kids 244 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,400 in the middle of the night and moving in with your mom 245 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,576 has all the earmarks of a divorce. 246 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,495 We're not getting a divorce. 247 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,073 Okay, go to sleep. 248 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,703 Sweet dreams. 249 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,049 I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer. 250 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,421 I don't think the fight was about beer. 251 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,302 I think there was more subtext. 252 00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:21,387 You're probably right. 253 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,387 Then again, I don't know what subtext is. 254 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,645 I don't want to get in your business, 255 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,318 but since you're getting in my bed, 256 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,737 - I'm getting in your business. - Go ahead. 257 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,564 When you leaving? 258 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,366 Very funny. 259 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,034 That wasn't a joke. 260 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,986 I love you, and I love the kids, 261 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,072 but I love you better living across the street. 262 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,079 Sorry the end of my marriage is inconveniencing you. 263 00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,535 Oh, don't be so dramatic. 264 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,710 It's a little spat. 265 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,005 No, this was a long time coming. 266 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,004 This goes to the very core of our relationship. 267 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,880 I see we're sticking with dramatic. 268 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,713 The minute he found out I had money set aside, 269 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,423 he felt threatened. And you know why? 270 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,884 'Cause it meant that I can live independent of him. 271 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,719 Sleeping in your mommy's bed? 272 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,395 You know what I mean. 273 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,478 You gonna buy Sheldon that computer? 274 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,685 Well, now I have to. 275 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:13,735 Got it. 276 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,791 You do know I still have an active love life. 277 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,242 Just go to sleep. 278 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,166 On this very bed. 279 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,422 Oh, Mom. 280 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,300 What's for breakfast? 281 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,135 I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal. 282 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,095 Mom usually makes us eggs and toast 283 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,475 and the occasional meat. 284 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,102 Well, Mom isn't here, is she? 285 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,977 Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 286 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,445 And you had a choice 'cause you had the whole bed. 287 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:58,359 Georgie. 288 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,282 Walking on thin ice. 289 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,785 Maybe you should go across the street and apologize. 290 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,366 I can't do that. 291 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,655 Why not? 292 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,828 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent. 293 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,784 What's Nixon got to do with it? 294 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:11,956 What? 295 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,755 You said "bad president," like Nixon. 296 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,798 You know, this guy. 297 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,091 You going to apologize? 298 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:24,636 Dad! 299 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:25,925 Dad! 300 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,645 If you are, bring back meat! 301 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,279 GEORGE JR.: Hey. 302 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,357 I hope you're happy. 303 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,905 Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind. 304 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,531 Mom and Dad are fighting because you want 305 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,158 to get a stupid computer. 306 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,077 What are you talking about? 307 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,408 Mom wanted to buy it for you, 308 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:51,492 Dad said they couldn't afford it, 309 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,747 Meemaw offered to pay for it, 310 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,703 and now I'm eating pineapple spears for lunch. 311 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,963 I hate making my own lunch. 312 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,715 I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know. 313 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,463 Yeah, well, now you do. 314 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:01,668 What did you get? 315 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,175 A turkey sandwich Mom cut in the shape of a heart, 316 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,631 a fruit cup, a brownie, 317 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,092 and a note from Meemaw saying how much she loves me. 318 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,516 I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's a lot. 319 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,814 I don't even have a can opener. 320 00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:19,187 Oh, Sugar Apple, I love you so much. 321 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,148 Your affection for inanimate objects frightens me. 322 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,824 I'm glad you're happy, Missy. 323 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:27,574 I'm even happier that I got a toy, and Sheldon got nothin'. 324 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:28,988 MARY: Well, now, we're not exactly 325 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,243 done shopping. 326 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,825 Sheldon, you still want that computer? 327 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:34,956 I thought we couldn't afford it. 328 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,412 Don't you worry about that. 329 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,042 Do you want it or not? 330 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,752 More than anything. 331 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,335 All right, then, let's go get it. 332 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,134 Wait. He gets a computer and I get a lousy toy? 333 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,715 I thought you liked it. 334 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,015 Not anymore. 335 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,764 (sighs) 336 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,973 Where's the water come out of? 337 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,855 Well, seeing as that's the dryer, nowhere. 338 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,185 Hmm. 339 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,900 So this one's the washer? 340 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,232 No foolin' you. 341 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:05,733 What are you doing? 342 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,944 Separating the whites from the colors. 343 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,698 Whoa, that's racist. 344 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,577 How did I get a rocket scientist for one son 345 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,909 - and a rodeo clown for the other? - Oh, man. 346 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,620 I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown. 347 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,083 They make people happy, 348 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,291 and they see the rodeo for free. 349 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,585 (sniffs) Mmm. 350 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,928 ("Home Computer" by Kraftwerk playing) 351 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,726 ADULT SHELDON: The home computer I had long coveted 352 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,020 was finally in my possession, 353 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,566 but it was also destroying my home. 354 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,310 Thankfully, it came pre-loaded 355 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,067 with a program to help solve personal problems. 356 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,941 FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE: Hello, I am Eliza. 357 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:50,327 My... parents... 358 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,039 are... fighting... 359 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,832 a lot. 360 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,502 I see. Can you elaborate on that? 361 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,751 My mother... 362 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,460 bought... me... 363 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,214 this... 364 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,964 computer... 365 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,174 but... 366 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:17,479 my dad... says... we can't... 367 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,228 afford it. 368 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,735 Do you have issues with your mother? 369 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,359 Mmm... (typing) No. 370 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,692 She... makes me... 371 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,028 spaghetti... 372 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,909 with hot dogs... 373 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,036 cut up in it. 374 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,792 Can you elaborate on that? 375 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:41,661 (sighs) 376 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,292 Are you... 377 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,841 going to help me or not? 378 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,512 Hello, I am Eliza. 379 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,470 The future might be overrated. 380 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,137 Okay, water's definitely on. 381 00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,346 Try it now. 382 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,022 We want delicate or regular? 383 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,521 (grunts) It doesn't matter, just turn it on. 384 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,693 Let's go with delicate to be safe. 385 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,237 (dial spinning) 386 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,572 (sighs) Nothin'. 387 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:10,740 Damn it. 388 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,659 Wait, I know what to do. 389 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:13,694 What? 390 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,825 Go across the street and apologize to Mom. 391 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,456 I got nothin' to apologize for. 392 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,500 You don't have to mean it. I never do. 393 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:21,997 Georgie, just mind your business. 394 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,208 Okay, sorry. 395 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,172 In case you were wondering, 396 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,544 I didn't mean that. 397 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,084 See how easy it is? 398 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,093 (dial spinning) 399 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,716 These home computers are amazing. 400 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,423 I could start a real bookkeeping business 401 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,883 with that thing. 402 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,843 And that would go a long way to giving you 403 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,678 the financial independence you're looking for. 404 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,138 Darn tootin'. 405 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,899 Just for your information, 406 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,235 Sheldon is using the computer right now 407 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,063 to try and fix your marriage. 408 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,147 Really? 409 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,195 What did it say? 410 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:53,818 It said... 411 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,574 (mechanically): "Get out of your mother's house." 412 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,075 - Mom. - I'm serious. 413 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,281 I want a cigarette, and I'm tired 414 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,786 of hiding behind the garage. 415 00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:02,618 You think I should apologize to George? 416 00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,295 Well, of course not. That would set a terrible precedent. 417 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:06,747 I think you should go back over there 418 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,252 to pick up some clothes for the kids 419 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,754 and be all cold and distant, 420 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,505 so he has to apologize to you. 421 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,671 Oh, that's not bad. 422 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:14,963 Do it. 423 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:16,803 I will. 424 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,259 Why you drinking tea? 425 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,636 (mechanically): Get out. 426 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,447 ♪♪ 427 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,739 (exhales) 428 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,322 (sighs) 429 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,744 Oh, hello. 430 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,578 Hey. 431 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,873 Were you coming back, or...? 432 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,167 Just to get some clothes for the kids. 433 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:53,968 Oh. 434 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:57,847 Were you coming to talk to me? 435 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,468 Well... yeah. 436 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,012 I, um... 437 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,442 ...wanted to apologize. 438 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:12,779 Really? 439 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:14,985 ♪♪ 440 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,156 Want to go for a walk? 441 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,328 Talk a little? 442 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,161 Sure. 443 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,081 Hey, kids, come here. 444 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:33,709 Look at that. 445 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,764 It looks like your mom and dad are gonna be all right. 446 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,053 Does this mean we're going home? 447 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,635 It appears so. 448 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,679 I didn't even get to wear my earmuffs yet. 449 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,603 And this program will allow us to track our family finances, 450 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,610 create a budget, and prepare tax documents. 451 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:56,815 - That's impressive. - Mmm. 452 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,445 Would you like to know how much money 453 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,243 you spend on beer annually? 454 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,411 - No. - I would. - (typing) 455 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,200 $936. 456 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:07,371 George. 457 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,207 If you switched to Hawaiian Punch, 458 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,380 we could live in a bigger house. 459 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,258 ELIZA: Hello, I am Eliza. 460 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,630 ♪ I study nuclear science ♪ 461 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,553 Eliza... (typing) 462 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:19,504 ♪ I got a crazy teacher ♪ 463 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:24,094 Are... you... 464 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,053 hot? 465 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,431 In your fantasies, am I hot? 466 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,893 Oh... yes. 467 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,024 You realize you're not talking to a real person. 468 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,356 Hey, get out of here. I'm about to score. 469 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,448 MARY: Missy! Turn off the computer. 470 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,494 Time to go to bed. 471 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,698 I got to finish my homework! 472 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,750 Big money, big money. 473 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,327 ♪ Things are going great ♪ 474 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,583 Yes! (whoops) 475 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,334 ♪♪ 476 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,257 ♪ I'm doing all right ♪ 477 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,005 ♪ Getting good grades ♪ 478 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,086 ♪ The future's so bright ♪ 479 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,387 ♪ I gotta wear shades ♪ 480 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,806 Hello? 481 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,217 ♪ I gotta wear shades ♪ 482 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,267 Hello? 483 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,846 ♪ I gotta wear shades. ♪ 484 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,447 Oh. 485 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:25,615 What? 486 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,242 What? Nothin'. 487 00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,418 Button you pull, that's stupid.