1
00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:16,040
<i>Did I do something?</i>
<i>Why do I have to meet you?</i>

2
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:19,081
I don't really see what the benefit is...

3
00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:23,680
in telling me in person, as opposed to
telling me on the phone. It's the same thing.

4
00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:26,917
Just pretend we're blind.
What's the matter with that?

5
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:30,362
That's what it is for them.

6
00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:32,990
My wife is home.

7
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:36,026
- Hello.
- Hi! Who are you talking to?

8
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,592
- Richard Lewis.
- Get off.

9
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:40,069
I've been ordered off the phone.

10
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,970
Okay, I'll meet you there in 10 minutes.

11
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:44,973
All right, very good.

12
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:48,412
What did the doctor say?

13
00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:50,813
He said that I have dermatitis.

14
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:52,941
- Really?
- Yeah.

15
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:56,853
But if I get this filled,
and put it on, it'll be fine.

16
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,824
You don't have to back up.
I don't think it's contagious.

17
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,951
Is it contagious?

18
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:03,962
- How'd you get that? What is it?
- I have no idea, it's a virus.

19
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:07,830
But he said if I take this three times a day,
rub it on, it'll be fine.

20
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,701
I'm passing it over to you because
I'm hoping you'll take it to the drugstore.

21
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:16,538
I have to meet Richard Lewis first.
He wants to talk to me about something.

22
00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:18,006
God knows, and...

23
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,376
- I thought we were going to dinner.
- No, we are.

24
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,439
So, I'll get the prescription filled,
after I talk to him...

25
00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:26,508
and can I meet you at the restaurant,
because it doesn't pay...

26
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,053
Then we'll have two cars...

27
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,989
But I'll have to come all the way back
to get you. It's right by the restaurant.

28
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:33,355
I'd rather not take my car.

29
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,156
Can't Rosa take you?
She drives right by there.

30
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,291
- Okay, that's fine.
- Okay?

31
00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:40,494
So, at 6:00, then?

32
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,863
- 6:00.
- Okay.

33
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,598
At the Byzantine,
and I'll get your thing filled...

34
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:47,196
- Okay, thanks.
- All right.

35
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:52,403
Larry, thanks for coming out.
I know you're busy, and...

36
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:56,445
I'm just curious
as to what you wanna tell me.

37
00:01:56,516 --> 00:02:00,418
It's not easy for me to say this.
It's been bugging me for a while...

38
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,978
and I think we're at
some kind of crossroads.

39
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,456
You don't call me. I'm always initiating.

40
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,959
I ask you to do things, I ask you...

41
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,825
Whatever I do,
it's always coming from my end...

42
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,092
and I feel like, if I never called you...

43
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:16,829
I'd fall off the face of the earth,
and we wouldn't be friends anymore.

44
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:21,340
My shrink actually told me
to confront you on this, and I am. That's it.

45
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:25,203
- Can I be honest with you?
- I hope so.

46
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,877
- It's Sofia, it's your girlfriend.
- Sofia?

47
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,309
I don't get along with her...

48
00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:36,219
and so I tend not to call, or get together...

49
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:39,258
You actually think that's fair?
I mean, this is my girlfriend.

50
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:42,089
I don't know if it's fair
but that's what's stopping me.

51
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,461
- That's why I haven't been calling.
- She's an extension of my life.

52
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,693
It's like... I love your wife.

53
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:51,464
She's embarrassed me a couple of times,
even in jest, and I don't say:

54
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,768
"I don't wanna be your friend anymore."

55
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,209
I don't know, I just don't think
a friend can just bolt from a friendship.

56
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:02,180
Cheryl and I are going out to dinner tonight.
Why don't the two of you join us?

57
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,479
- Why do you wanna do that?
- 'Cause I wanna make up, start all over.

58
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:06,610
- Really?
- Yeah.

59
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:10,383
You're not just doing this to...
I appreciate it, but she's part of my life.

60
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:13,653
I know, and I wanna try
and be friends with her.

61
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:17,859
This is a very nice gesture. Tonight?

62
00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:20,498
Fuck, I can't. We're doing something early.

63
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,900
Can you come over after dinner,
have coffee and dessert at our place?

64
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:27,235
Yeah, we wanna have dessert.
We'll come over for dessert and coffee.

65
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,501
Justin?

66
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,736
Lewis.

67
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,775
- How you doing? Hey, man.
- Good to see you, man, what's happening?

68
00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:36,906
I'm sorry, I'm funky.

69
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:39,247
Dr. Grambs, this is my friend, Larry David.

70
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,150
- This is my dermatologist.
- Really?

71
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,779
What, for 15 years already?

72
00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:45,483
Even with
the whole affirmative action thing?

73
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,617
I'm sorry. I beg your pardon, what?

74
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:52,130
- What do you mean?
- It was a joke.

75
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:55,656
What do you mean,
"The whole affirmative action thing?"

76
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:57,692
It was a joke.

77
00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,932
He's like a buddy.

78
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,770
I know him, he's a sweetheart.

79
00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:06,744
The implication being that I wasn't
good enough to be a dermatologist?

80
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:09,577
No, come on, it was joke.

81
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,742
He's a liberal, he's like you and me.

82
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:15,652
So, if I wasn't black,
he would have said the same thing, or not?

83
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:16,950
Do you see my point?

84
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:21,323
I see it in a historical sense,
but not in a nice-day sense.

85
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:25,353
You know, Richard, I've worked too hard
and too long at this. I can't do it.

86
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,667
I don't know what his trip is,
but I can't do it.

87
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,465
I don't have any trip. No, it was joke!

88
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,571
Holy shit! What hit you?

89
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,072
It was a joke.

90
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,443
I know it's a joke, but you sounded...

91
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,778
like Pat Buchanan's gym partner.

92
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,784
I was just trying to be affable.

93
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:49,446
I'll see you tonight.
Hopefully, we'll resolve, you know...

94
00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:52,355
I tend to say stupid things
to black people sometimes.

95
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:55,258
That's, like, gonna be in the time capsule.

96
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:57,228
I'll see you later on.

97
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,629
I was just trying to be affable.

98
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:17,774
I'm so glad you're here.
I know, this place is crazy.

99
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,183
There's no tables,
you couldn't get a reservation...

100
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:23,489
we're on a waiting list.

101
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,452
Can you give me my prescription?

102
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:29,052
I think I'm gonna go to the ladies' room,
and put some on.

103
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,689
- What?
- I forgot it.

104
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,901
I'm sorry, I was
so discombobulated because...

105
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,731
Oh, my God, I completely humiliated...

106
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:44,436
- What happened?
- I was with Richard Lewis...

107
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:49,038
and we were talking, and then
he ran into his friend, this black doctor...

108
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:53,051
and I made some terrible joke
about affirmative action.

109
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:54,950
It was beyond awful.

110
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,649
I'm sure you're making it out
to be more than it was.

111
00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:01,490
I'm making it out to be less, believe me.
And he took it the wrong way.

112
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,756
Why would you even
make a joke about that?

113
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:07,725
I don't know, I was trying to be affable.
I was trying too hard.

114
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,131
Why even joke about it?

115
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,534
I made a mistake.
It was a stupid thing to say.

116
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,834
I'm a schmuck. I did a schmucky thing.

117
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:16,807
- Did you apologize?
- Of course I apologized.

118
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:20,607
I have to say, I'm not real happy
right now, because...

119
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,444
We'll have dinner
and then we'll go right to the drugstore.

120
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:25,108
- No problem.
- The problem is...

121
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:27,448
it's gonna be hours before we get there...

122
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,388
because we're not even
gonna have a seat until, like, an hour.

123
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,449
- Really?
- Yeah, and I'm starving.

124
00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:39,631
- Let's try something here.
- What are you doing?

125
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,092
- You have a little plan?
- I got a little plan.

126
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,330
What do you think?

127
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,429
Yeah, sure.

128
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:48,838
- Men do this, right?
- I've seen men do it.

129
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:52,173
- Haven't we seen this?
- I've seen men do it in movies.

130
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:55,140
Good evening, sir.
Welcome to the Byzantine.

131
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:57,876
I was curious about... How long is the wait?

132
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:01,408
I'm afraid it looks
like 45 minutes to an hour.

133
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,751
45 minutes to an hour. No way to get in...

134
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,189
No, we're very crowded this evening, sir.

135
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,090
My wife's itching, you know...

136
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:11,153
- Right now we're very full.
- Nothing else can be done?

137
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,528
Nothing that I can think of, sir.

138
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:18,026
Things are done, right, aren't things done?
I hear things are done.

139
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,334
From time to time.

140
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:26,411
Anything you can do...

141
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:31,246
Actually, I think we can accommodate you
right now. Would you like to follow me?

142
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:35,985
Thank you.

143
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,088
Thank you very much.

144
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:40,148
- Enjoy your dinner.
- Okay!

145
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,655
- I'm pretty impressed.
- Come on, give it to me!

146
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,630
- I'm very, very impressed. I really am.
- No big deal.

147
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:49,463
I am extremely attracted to you right now.

148
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,400
- That's 'cause it's criminal.
- Is it?

149
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,565
Women are attracted to criminals,
and they do that all the time.

150
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,905
You could do that. Just walk around,
cut in line any time you want.

151
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,741
All right. Do it all the time,
and we'll never have to wait.

152
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,337
Should I feel guilty about it?

153
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,906
Why, because all those people
are still waiting?

154
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,953
I can't stop to think about it
because I'm starving.

155
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,353
How can a handicapped person
use a non-motorized wheelchair?

156
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,051
I don't get that.

157
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:17,554
What's the point to it?
To me, that's your big priority.

158
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,757
Maybe he likes the exercise.

159
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,802
- I'm sure you get used to it.
- Can't he get one that has both?

160
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,098
Motor and non-motor?

161
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,368
You can do both. You want exercise
or the motor, you got it.

162
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,308
This way has no options.
You gotta do this the whole time.

163
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:34,676
If you're not in a hurry
to get somewhere, why not?

164
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:37,477
- There's Ted Harbert.
- Who's Ted Harbert?

165
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:41,678
He used to be the president of ABC.
Now he runs NBC Studios.

166
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:46,254
I have to go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna have to walk right by that table.

167
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:50,254
- What's wrong, you don't like him?
- He just makes the worst small talk...

168
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:53,059
and, it's gonna be so...
I'll never get out of there.

169
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:56,033
Just don't stop.
Just keep walking and say hello.

170
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,469
You have to stop.
You can't just say hello, and walk on.

171
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,370
- You know what?
- Sea bass.

172
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:05,342
There's a restaurant two doors down.
I'm gonna go in there.

173
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:07,379
I'm gonna go to the bathroom in there.

174
00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:11,405
You're gonna leave this restaurant
to go use the bathroom somewhere else?

175
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,951
Are you out of your mind?

176
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:16,511
No, I don't wanna say hello.
I don't like those hellos.

177
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,203
Men's room?

178
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:39,336
Larry, Larry David.

179
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,579
- How you doing?
- Okay.

180
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:45,174
Do you remember me, Denise Pendergrass?
We had a meeting a few years ago?

181
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,913
I met with you about
that film project you were doing.

182
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,285
<i>Sour Grapes,</i> the line producer.

183
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,483
- Yes, I remember.
- That's right.

184
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:54,685
You know what? I'm so glad I ran into you.

185
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,696
'Cause we had a really nice meeting.
You said my resume looked great...

186
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,824
and you said I was qualified,
and then, I didn't hear from you.

187
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:05,860
All these years, I wondered what happened,
'cause I really wanted to work with you.

188
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:09,169
And, what was the person's name
that got that job?

189
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,874
- What was...
- Barry.

190
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:15,641
- Barry, a friend of yours?
- Friend of my wife.

191
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,980
- A friend of your wife. A black friend?
- No.

192
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,411
This is the thing.

193
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:23,387
I had a couple of margaritas,
but I'm not gonna hold back.

194
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,946
I just was wondering.

195
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:28,050
Why do you have a problem
giving somebody like me a job?

196
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:31,119
What? A problem?
What are you talking about?

197
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:33,427
There's a lot of people interviewed for that.

198
00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:35,490
Yeah, but, you and I, we had a rapport.

199
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:38,503
We did, but the guy knew my wife,
that's all it was.

200
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:41,938
I know what you're implying,
but that's really awful.

201
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:45,136
- What you're saying is terrible.
- What I'm saying is...

202
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:49,477
I watched your show, <i>Seinfeld,</i> for seven,
eight years, and not one black person.

203
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:53,075
I lived in New York for years,
there's a plethora of black people there...

204
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:57,179
but, somehow, Elaine or Jerry
never had any black girlfriends.

205
00:10:57,256 --> 00:10:59,520
In their circle of friends,
nobody looks like me.

206
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:02,390
What is that about?
Is it a black thing with Larry David?

207
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:05,191
There's no black thing! It's a nothing!

208
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,828
No, a sister like me
can see through things like this.

209
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:11,392
And I want you to know,
that I got your number now.

210
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:15,099
There's no number, you don't have
a number! I don't have a number!

211
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,109
I saw <i>Sour Grapes,</i>
and the title was very apropos.

212
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:21,169
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise
that I did not get that job.

213
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,478
I just hope you have a very nice dinner.
Thank you, Mr. Larry David.

214
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,152
- Where have you been?
- Sorry.

215
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:37,252
We haven't even ordered, and I'm dying.

216
00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:41,322
I got accosted by this woman
outside the men's room, at this restaurant...

217
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,994
and she interviewed for a job on <i>Sour...</i>

218
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,367
- Hey, Ted!
- How are you?

219
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,099
- Good. How you doing?
- Nice seeing you.

220
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,539
- This is my wife, Cheryl. This is Ted Harbert.
- Hi.

221
00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:52,406
Nice to see you. How you doing?
You guys just sitting down?

222
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:54,343
Yeah. Just about to order.

223
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:57,007
So, you been playing any golf lately?

224
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,841
- Yeah, playing okay?
- Yeah, so-so.

225
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,888
At my club,
I got a member guest next month.

226
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:05,150
I've got a couple of other guys.
You wanna come?

227
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:08,157
<i>Okay, we're all set.</i>

228
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:12,527
It's 10 days, make sure you take all 10 days.
And watch the dairy. Okay.

229
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:17,461
And I specifically said, "No feta cheese."
Do they have to put feta cheese in?

230
00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:20,061
- You heard me say it, right?
- I did hear you say it.

231
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:21,504
- Hi.
- Hello.

232
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:27,576
Just need this prescription filled out,
as soon as possible.

233
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:28,772
Sure.

234
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:33,384
I've got dermatitis, and it's...

235
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,818
- We'll get it taken care of.
- Thank you.

236
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:39,915
As soon as he finds it,
we'll get this thing rolling.

237
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,853
Take your time.

238
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,266
What's wrong?

239
00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:52,261
I think I gave the maitre d' the prescription.

240
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:55,330
- My prescription?
- Yeah, 'cause look...

241
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:59,266
- Why would you do that?
- There's a $20 bill folded in my pocket.

242
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,939
This was for the maitre d'.
What's it doing in my pocket?

243
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:04,983
I don't know. I gave you
the prescription this afternoon.

244
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:08,417
I know, and I folded it up,
and it was in the same pocket as the $20...

245
00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:12,150
and I must have put my hand
in my pocket and pulled out...

246
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:14,215
Did you not look at it, Larry?

247
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:17,592
- It felt like the $20.
- How could that happen?

248
00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:21,326
- They were folded up, they felt alike!
- Didn't he look at it?

249
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:24,002
No, they take it and put it in their pocket.

250
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:25,900
Why would I have the $20 on me?

251
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:29,338
This was the $20
that was designated for the maitre d'!

252
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,807
- Let's just go back to the restaurant.
- Oh, my God!

253
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:39,450
Why don't we just call your doctor?

254
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:43,648
You can't call my doctor on the weekends,
unless it's a life-threatening emergency.

255
00:13:43,722 --> 00:13:47,283
If you call his machine,
it'll tell you you can't page him.

256
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:49,384
- You called up and that's what it said?
- Yeah.

257
00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:51,520
That is obscene, you know that?

258
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:54,361
"Can't disturb the doctor on the weekend.

259
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:56,831
"Don't call the Dr. Zeppler...

260
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:59,632
"on the weekend
unless it's life-threatening."

261
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,475
"Norman, is somebody calling?

262
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:07,569
"Who's calling?
We're in the middle of dinner, Norman!

263
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:11,082
"This better be life-threatening,
or you're not gonna leave this house!"

264
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,947
Come on, please, I'm begging you.

265
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,178
"Norman...

266
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:16,312
"unless they were burned in a fire...

267
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,583
"I don't want you getting up from your chair.

268
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:20,386
"Do you understand, Norman?"

269
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:32,201
Okay, I owe you a huge apology.
I'm so sorry. When I was in earlier...

270
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:36,708
I thought I was giving you money,
and I gave you my wife's prescription.

271
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:38,140
I remember.

272
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:41,177
She really needs it. Do you have it?

273
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:44,876
You'll find it in a trash can,
right through those double doors.

274
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,041
Help yourself.

275
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:54,718
- Wait a second.
- Did you find it? Do you see it?

276
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,594
- No, that's not it.
- No, that wasn't it.

277
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,460
I think I'm gonna be sick.

278
00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:02,728
You didn't happen to see
a piece of paper here earlier?

279
00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:05,497
- A little white prescription piece of paper?
- No.

280
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,869
You should go through the middle of it...

281
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,602
I've been looking all over, Cheryl.
I can't find it!

282
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:14,544
- You want me to get in the can?
- Lf that's what it takes, Larry, I guess, yeah.

283
00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:18,572
- How about going to an emergency room?
- No, are you kidding?

284
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,516
We'd sit there for eight hours.

285
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:24,078
This is a very pleasant activity.
Can you lock me in a toilet after this?

286
00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:27,057
You could pick up my prescription
when I ask the first time...

287
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:29,185
then none of this would have happened.

288
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,230
Wait a second. What about Richard's friend?

289
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,664
He's a dermatologist.
The guy I offended today.

290
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,633
The black guy? He's a dermatologist?

291
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,863
Yes, we're going over to Richard's anyway.

292
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,806
I could call him and apologize.
He could phone in the prescription for us.

293
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,672
Yeah, let's try that.

294
00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:49,771
- Hi!
- Hey!

295
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,941
How are you? Good to see you.

296
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:55,544
You know what? You don't wanna
get too close to me right now.

297
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:59,148
- We had a bit of a problem here.
- Relax, we'll talk it out.

298
00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:01,624
Sofia's on the phone.
She'll be off in a second.

299
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:05,460
- We're not really gonna be able to stay.
- What do you mean?

300
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:08,659
- Because...
- I've got a skin problem right now.

301
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:12,397
It's this dermatitis and it's spreading
is the problem, Richard.

302
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,804
We've been driving all night
because I had a prescription...

303
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:19,435
I didn't lose it, but, whatever.
We don't have it anymore.

304
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:21,206
Why don't you call your doctor?

305
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,717
- I can't call him on the weekends.
- It's hard to bother these people.

306
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:30,249
The thing is, we don't know any doctors,
or anybody who can help her.

307
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,813
The only guy I could think of...

308
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:37,653
- is your friend from... The dermatologist.
- The guy from today? Justin?

309
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:41,131
Maybe if you could just call him,
and he could call in a prescription.

310
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,259
I mean, you can imagine...

311
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:46,270
You were like James Earl Ray today,
with this guy.

312
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,737
I know.

313
00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:50,434
I'll do it, I love you, I'm doing it...

314
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,637
Just tell him I'll apologize.
I wanna talk to him.

315
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:55,873
I'm so sorry about what happened.

316
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,677
This is like a nightmare call.

317
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,776
- I'm sorry for making you do it.
- We really appreciate it.

318
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,787
Honey, hello, the Davids are here.

319
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,153
Listen, she has a medical emergency.

320
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:07,089
Honey, baby, I'm on the phone.

321
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,127
- I'm on the phone.
- You have to get...

322
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,027
We don't even know
if the guy's gonna be home or not.

323
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:14,088
Honey, enough, darling!

324
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:15,793
I'm on the phone. I'm sorry.

325
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,803
- I'm on the phone, just one second.
- Just hang up the phone.

326
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,965
She has a medical emergency.
She has a tremendous rash.

327
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,235
You know what?

328
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,606
Just get the number, we'll call in the car.

329
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,167
Will you hang up the phone?

330
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:29,009
- Are you happy?
- I'm very happy.

331
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:32,175
Good, now we're all happy.
You're happy, he's happy, I'm happy.

332
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:34,879
She's sick and you're not, how's that?

333
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:38,719
Jesus Christ, I'm so fucking embarrassed
by all this shit.

334
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:43,456
- I'm really sorry about this.
- No, don't be sorry.

335
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,429
Dr. Grambs?

336
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:50,861
Hi, I'm sorry to call you on a weekend.
Yeah, it's Lewis.

337
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:54,938
I just hung up with my agent on the phone,
without even saying goodbye.

338
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:58,374
- This is a very important call.
- Mind your own fucking business here!

339
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,105
It is my business!

340
00:18:00,712 --> 00:18:04,512
He really feels horrible about it,
but his wife has this... What's it called?

341
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,143
- Dermatitis.
- Dermatitis, and what?

342
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:09,710
He's funny. He didn't mean it.

343
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:13,246
He wants to apologize profusely.
The last thing he would mean is that...

344
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:14,952
I need to help them. I'm lost.

345
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:18,963
She's very sick, she can't reach her doctor,
and she needs to get a prescription...

346
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:22,933
otherwise this thing's gonna spread,
and I really wanna come through for them.

347
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:24,863
Really?

348
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,297
You're unbelievable.

349
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:30,273
He says, "Come over to the house." He can't
prescribe over phone. It's unethical.

350
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,537
- You'll do that?
- Of course, are you kidding?

351
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,444
Doctor, you're really the best.
What's your address?

352
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:39,616
Yeah, hold on, what's the number?
Okay, thanks.

353
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:43,353
- Thank you so much.
- Christ.

354
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:44,980
How do you get there?

355
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:48,424
- Call the AAA. Just get better.
- Thanks so much.

356
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:49,984
Just get better.

357
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,292
- Nice to see you again!
- Nice to see you, too.

358
00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,862
<i>Right turn ahead.</i>

359
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,167
- Did you hear that?
- Yeah, I did hear it.

360
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:05,005
The navigation system!
I figured it out, it's working!

361
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,308
It's telling us exactly
how to go to the doctor's house!

362
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:10,946
I can't wait to call my parents.

363
00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:13,017
They are gonna be so proud of me!

364
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,986
When I tell my father
I figured out that navigation system...

365
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:18,784
he's gonna flip his wig.
And he's got one, too.

366
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:20,449
Can we turn on the radio?

367
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:25,259
He's gonna be very proud of Larry,
figuring out the navigation system!

368
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,788
- Please.
- "Daddy, I'm not so stupid!"

369
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,500
<i>Can we turn on the radio?</i>

370
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:33,470
<i>No, 'cause then we won't be able</i>
<i>to hear the navigator.</i>

371
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,507
<i>Right turn ahead.</i>

372
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:43,841
- Hi.
- Hi.

373
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,146
Hi, I'm Larry David. This is my wife, Cheryl.

374
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:49,187
- We're a friend of Richard Lewis. He called.
- Yes. I'm Donna.

375
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:51,688
My husband's in the living room.
Please, come in.

376
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,486
Thank you so much for having us.

377
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,323
Sorry to disturb you
at the beginning of your weekend.

378
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:59,558
That's okay, the best laid plans
always will change...

379
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,963
so let's not worry about it. Come on in.

380
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,060
I think black people have a mistrust
of the medical profession...

381
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:07,435
because of the vestiges of that experiment.

382
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:08,734
- Exactly.
- Absolutely.

383
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:10,035
Please.

384
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:11,840
Please, come in.

385
00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:14,105
I hope we're not disturbing anything.

386
00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:17,008
Excuse me, sweetie.

387
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:20,279
Everybody, this is Larry David,
and his wife, Cheryl.

388
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,512
- Hello.
- Hi.

389
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:26,691
- Hi, how you doing?
- Mrs. David, a pleasure to meet you.

390
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:29,522
It is so nice to meet you.
Thank you so much.

391
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:32,530
We've had quite a time tonight,
and I really appreciate you...

392
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:35,499
It's so nice of you to do this.
We appreciate it so much.

393
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:38,764
I'm glad I could be of help.
Let's go take a look at that.

394
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:41,305
And again, I'm so sorry about...

395
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:45,139
- God Almighty, I can't believe I said that.
- I think I might have overreacted.

396
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:47,644
No, I don't think so.
It was completely idiotic.

397
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:49,806
Justin, what did he say?

398
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:53,142
We'd like to hear it.

399
00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:56,654
Larry, this is Professor Roget
from Caltech Physics.

400
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,019
How are you doing?

401
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,526
- What was said, we'd like to hear it.
- We'd like to know.

402
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,561
Believe me, you don't wanna hear this.

403
00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:06,894
- What is it, we'd love to hear it.
- Why not?

404
00:21:06,965 --> 00:21:08,398
What? You're kidding.

405
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:12,130
Come on, believe me, it was nothing.
You're having a nice party here.

406
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:15,435
Eat. You got peanuts and cookies. Drinks.

407
00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:18,305
You're probably having
a very stimulating conversation...

408
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:22,814
until we came in, so, believe me...
My advice to you, go back, because...

409
00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:25,345
I agree with him.

410
00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:28,178
Larry, you're apologizing.

411
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,679
Apologizing for nothing?

412
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,450
I wish it was something.

413
00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:39,156
I am apologizing for pretty much nothing.

414
00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:41,722
It is nothing. It's so unimportant.

415
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,098
Come on, Larry, please, share with us.

416
00:21:44,169 --> 00:21:46,330
Come on, spit it out, Larry.

417
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:48,735
It sounds interesting.

418
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:52,004
We're very interested
in hearing what you have to say.

419
00:21:52,077 --> 00:21:54,045
I'll make a deal with you folks, okay?

420
00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:57,081
We'll tell you what it was,
and then we can move on.

421
00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:03,248
- All right, Larry.
- Come on, just share it with us, Larry.

422
00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:07,023
Let us hear about it. What is it?

423
00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:12,292
I was walking along, with my friend...

424
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:14,889
near the beach in Santa Monica...

425
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:17,730
and Dr. Grambs comes jogging by...

426
00:22:18,937 --> 00:22:23,306
He's in very good shape, this man,
by the way. Very good shape.

427
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:27,208
- Come on, let's not beat around the bush.
- Come on, let's go.

428
00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:36,718
I said...

429
00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:41,392
When he introduced me to Dr. Grambs...

430
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:45,191
he told me that he's a patient of Dr. Grambs,
and I said:

431
00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:50,091
"You let him work on you even with
the whole affirmative action thing?"

432
00:22:57,976 --> 00:22:59,705
You know, 'cause...

433
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:03,312
It was a joke. It was a bad joke.

434
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:07,978
I was trying to be too affable.
I went overboard in my affability.

435
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:11,955
- Are you in favor of affirmative action?
- Completely in favor of it.

436
00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:14,457
I don't think white people
should have anything!

437
00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:18,758
I think we should be sleeping on the street,
eating crumbs, and we should be that way...

438
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:21,958
for a couple of hundred years,
and I'm not even joking about that.

439
00:23:22,033 --> 00:23:26,197
Guys, he's a comedian. He makes
funny lines all the time. I overreacted.

440
00:23:26,271 --> 00:23:28,466
And he knocked it off the top off his head.

441
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:31,839
He's much better when he has
a chance to write it, and look it over.

442
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,174
So, maybe he's learned
a lesson from all this?

443
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:35,907
Yeah, you can say that again.

444
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:38,506
I was about to say "sister," but I can't...

445
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:44,715
Okay, everyone. So, Mrs. David,
let me take a look at that arm, please.

446
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:46,621
Thank you, yes, okay.

447
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:53,220
Mr. Larry David.
Twice in one evening. I'm on a roll.

448
00:23:53,298 --> 00:23:55,163
My friends, this is Larry David...

449
00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:58,725
the man who refused
to hire a sister for a job...

450
00:23:58,804 --> 00:24:02,706
for which I was clearly qualified,
because he's a racist, a bona fide racist...

451
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:06,369
who preferred not to work with
any black people under any circumstances...

452
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,812
and gives all the good jobs
to his white wife's white friends.

453
00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:11,348
Good evening.

454
00:24:27,232 --> 00:24:28,859
I think you better call the doctor.

455
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,869
I'm not allowed
to call the doctor on the weekend.

456
00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:34,929
I don't think we have a choice.
I think we have to call him.

457
00:24:36,374 --> 00:24:39,172
We're out of options, really.
Honey, come on.

458
00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:43,575
I'm gonna call him. I'm gonna page him.

459
00:24:45,183 --> 00:24:47,174
Wait. So what number do I put in?

460
00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:50,153
Put in our home number.
We'll be home in a minute.

461
00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:54,491
All right, he's paged. That's it.

462
00:24:54,559 --> 00:24:56,220
- Great.
- It's done.

463
00:24:58,063 --> 00:25:00,054
What's the worst that could happen?

464
00:25:00,131 --> 00:25:02,292
- I don't know.
- What's he gonna do, kill us?

465
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:28,650
Hello?

466
00:25:28,727 --> 00:25:31,890
Dad, I can't talk to you right now!
No, I'll call you back!

467
00:25:44,809 --> 00:25:46,572
Hello? Dr. Zeppler?

468
00:25:47,679 --> 00:25:49,544
Hi, it's Cheryl David.

469
00:25:49,981 --> 00:25:53,212
I lost the prescription
you gave me earlier this afternoon...

470
00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:56,277
and I desperately need
another one right away.

471
00:25:57,088 --> 00:25:59,283
A life-threatening emergency?

472
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:03,654
- You could scratch yourself to death!
- I feel like I could scratch myself to death...

473
00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:06,390
if it goes untreated. I mean, I don't know...

474
00:26:06,665 --> 00:26:09,429
It's the Longs Drugstore on the West Side.

475
00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:14,233
Thank you. No, I won't ever call you
on the weekend again. Thank you so much.

476
00:26:14,306 --> 00:26:17,798
"Won't ever call you on the weekend."
My God, what a jerk this guy is.

477
00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:19,104
At least we got it.

478
00:26:19,177 --> 00:26:21,270
Get yourself a new doctor.
This guy's an idiot.

479
00:26:21,346 --> 00:26:23,906
- I'm gonna go pick it up.
- Do you want me to go with you?

480
00:26:23,982 --> 00:26:26,712
No, go take a hot bath,
and I'll be back in 12, 15 minutes.

481
00:26:26,785 --> 00:26:27,774
Okay.

482
00:26:30,989 --> 00:26:34,948
The doctor says you just wanna get
your prescriptions renewed on time, okay?

483
00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:38,052
Now, in terms of this,
it's just two quick shots.

484
00:26:38,129 --> 00:26:41,394
Pay for that up front, okay?
And good luck with that.

485
00:26:41,466 --> 00:26:43,593
Okay, Mr. Brazil.

486
00:26:46,404 --> 00:26:47,496
All right, I want you to...

487
00:26:47,572 --> 00:26:51,804
Excuse me, I'm sorry. My doctor
called in a prescription for my wife.

488
00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:54,868
- Your name?
- David. Yeah, Dr. Zeppler.

489
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:56,937
Zeppler, yes, we got that.

490
00:26:57,015 --> 00:27:00,143
It's gonna be about
45 minutes to an hour, okay?

491
00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:01,817
Mr. Brazil.

492
00:27:01,886 --> 00:27:05,117
I mean, it's really, it's an emergency.
I'm not kidding.

493
00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:08,216
- She's scratching, she's broken out all over.
- I understand, sir.

494
00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:11,729
It's gonna be about 45 minutes to an hour.
You see, we have a backup.

495
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:16,699
Okay, just read all the indications on it.
It's very important, pay for that up front.

496
00:27:17,369 --> 00:27:20,736
Okay, next is Guyaphone.

497
00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:23,904
Okay.

498
00:27:24,409 --> 00:27:28,903
All right, this is pretty simple, but
I wanna make sure that you read all the...

499
00:27:29,114 --> 00:27:33,244
I haven't forgotten about you, Mr. Filpot.
It's just gonna be a couple more minutes...

500
00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:37,015
I'm not quite ready for you.
We need to get straightened out.

501
00:27:37,088 --> 00:27:38,953
I'm sorry...

502
00:27:39,024 --> 00:27:40,116
Yes.

503
00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:42,623
Is there anything
that can be done about this?

504
00:27:42,694 --> 00:27:44,992
"Done"? I don't understand.

505
00:27:45,063 --> 00:27:47,463
You know, I hear things are done.

506
00:27:47,899 --> 00:27:49,662
Things are done?

507
00:27:51,636 --> 00:27:53,103
What is this?

508
00:27:53,438 --> 00:27:55,303
- Are you trying to bribe me?
- No.

509
00:27:55,373 --> 00:27:58,137
You think you can bribe me?
Do I look like I can be bribed?

510
00:27:58,209 --> 00:28:01,303
- No, I'm paying in advance.
- Are you trying to bribe a pharmacist?

511
00:28:01,379 --> 00:28:04,075
Take your money!
Nobody bribes a pharmacist!

512
00:28:04,149 --> 00:28:06,640
- Get out, right now!
- I'm sorry.

513
00:28:07,318 --> 00:28:08,580
<i>Security!</i>

514
00:28:09,821 --> 00:28:11,812
I'll remember you, buddy!