1 00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,777 Hello, ladies. 2 00:00:26,778 --> 00:00:28,821 Lady, singular. 3 00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:31,300 - Where's your mother? - I'm staying at my dad's tonight. 4 00:00:31,324 --> 00:00:32,450 But it's game night. 5 00:00:32,659 --> 00:00:34,536 The Detective always comes to game night. 6 00:00:35,495 --> 00:00:38,665 Came to game night. Maybe that's why she never texts me back. 7 00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:42,085 - Parents... They're a mystery. - Oh, well, I'll give you that. 8 00:00:42,669 --> 00:00:46,381 She didn't happen to mention anything about being a gift, 9 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:47,632 did she? From God? 10 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,068 'Cause if that's the stumbling block, 11 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,344 it's really much less of an issue than she thinks. 12 00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:53,680 Grown-up problems. Not interested. 13 00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,640 Also, who cares where my mom is? 14 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,975 Well, me, for one. 15 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,769 It's game night and Trixie's in the house. 16 00:00:59,936 --> 00:01:02,355 Well... I suppose we could play Monopoly. 17 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:05,191 Nah. Monopoly's no fun with just two people. 18 00:01:05,275 --> 00:01:07,068 Well, fine. You've twisted my arm 19 00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:09,529 since it may very well be my last night on Earth. 20 00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:11,531 Let's go to the bar. 21 00:01:12,949 --> 00:01:15,159 My parents wouldn't like that. 22 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,243 Wouldn't they? Sounds like grown-up problems to me. 23 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,331 You could tell me a story. 24 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:24,127 - Do I look like Mr. Rogers? - You don't have to make anything up. 25 00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:27,046 You could just tell me about... 26 00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:32,135 - this dagger. Has it ever killed anyone? - Not yet, no. 27 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:40,018 - Do these work? - Um... Depends on who you're asking. 28 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:41,352 Well, what about this? 29 00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:43,563 What, the manicure? It's just a simple buff and shine. 30 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,898 Your ring. Tell me the story of your ring. 31 00:01:46,608 --> 00:01:48,818 Unless you'd rather talk about the handcuffs. 32 00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,029 Quite the negotiator, aren't we? 33 00:01:51,988 --> 00:01:53,031 Very well. 34 00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,241 For one night only. 35 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,453 It's story time at the penthouse. 36 00:01:59,495 --> 00:02:01,748 Mmm. What... 37 00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:04,584 My mom usually starts with "Once upon a time." 38 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:05,668 Does she? 39 00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:07,295 All right, well... 40 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,257 Once upon a time... 41 00:02:12,008 --> 00:02:14,886 the Devil went to New York City. 42 00:02:16,054 --> 00:02:17,054 The year... 43 00:02:17,764 --> 00:02:19,641 was 1946. 44 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,869 It was a wonderful time. Men wore hats. 45 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:43,373 Hemlines were on the rise... and so was crime. 46 00:02:49,504 --> 00:02:52,757 Rationing was over, the boys were home from the war, 47 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,511 and the air was full of big band music and possibility. 48 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,642 An old friend had reached out, 49 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:05,561 asking me to meet her for a drink at the Garden Club. 50 00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:35,550 Now, the Garden Club was the hottest spot 51 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:36,676 on the isle of Manhattan 52 00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:40,012 because it had the best chanteuse on the marquee. 53 00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:42,306 The whole city knew her voice, 54 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:45,810 but I was the only one who knew her real name. Lilith. 55 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,438 - Wait, who's Lilith? - Maze's mother. 56 00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:49,856 Her spitting image, 57 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:52,024 though neither of them would ever admit it. 58 00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:54,193 I'm tired of being pure 59 00:03:54,861 --> 00:03:55,987 And not 60 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,072 Chased! 61 00:03:59,741 --> 00:04:02,827 Like something that seeks its level 62 00:04:03,703 --> 00:04:05,788 I wanna go to the devil 63 00:04:05,872 --> 00:04:07,123 That's me. 64 00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:11,002 I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks 65 00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:17,300 I wanna be evil and cheat atjacks 66 00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:24,182 I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies 67 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:30,062 I wanna be mean and throw mud pies 68 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:33,274 And in the theater 69 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:37,111 I want to change my seat 70 00:04:37,612 --> 00:04:42,825 Just so I can step on everybody's feet 71 00:04:42,909 --> 00:04:45,495 I wanna be evil 72 00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:48,956 I wanna hurt flies 73 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:55,505 I wanna sing songs Like the guy who cries 74 00:04:55,588 --> 00:05:00,843 I wanna be horrid I wanna drink booze 75 00:05:00,927 --> 00:05:03,095 And whatever I've got 76 00:05:03,805 --> 00:05:08,434 I'm eager to lose 77 00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:13,940 I wanna be evil 78 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:19,780 Little evil me 79 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:23,866 Just as mean and evil 80 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:27,328 As I 81 00:05:27,954 --> 00:05:33,960 Can be 82 00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:41,259 Meow. 83 00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:52,019 - Such a talent! - Yes. 84 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:56,485 What the hell do you think you're doing, laddie? 85 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,527 I'm just going to speak with my friend. 86 00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:01,821 You shouldn't be eyeballing Lily Rose like that. 87 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,657 - She's Stompanato's girl. - Put it in neutral, boys. 88 00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:11,372 Trust me. That's a fight you don't want to pick. 89 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:16,252 Why don't you fellows go jerk yourselves a soda? 90 00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:18,253 Oh, and... 91 00:06:18,671 --> 00:06:19,964 And tell Tommy... 92 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,133 I'm nobody's girl. 93 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:27,847 So... 94 00:06:28,014 --> 00:06:29,140 How long has it been? 95 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:31,809 I don't believe I've seen you since... 96 00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:33,811 Marie-Antoinette's coming-out party. 97 00:06:33,895 --> 00:06:36,480 And come out she did. 98 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,065 Shame what happened to her. 99 00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,985 So what've you been up to the past few hundred years? 100 00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:43,988 Oh, singing, carousing. 101 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,532 Raising hell one gin joint at a time. 102 00:06:46,616 --> 00:06:49,410 Everything was copacetic 103 00:06:49,744 --> 00:06:51,746 until someone stole my ring. 104 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,832 Oh, well, that is unfortunate. 105 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,586 How about we cheer you up with a healthy distraction, hmm? 106 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,923 We could rent out a brothel, rob a bank... 107 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:05,593 Oh. Ernie Hemingway is in town. He's always good for a laugh. 108 00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:11,265 Oh, and I'm not sure you can go out in that. 109 00:07:11,349 --> 00:07:14,685 Lucifer, that ring is the only thing in the entire universe 110 00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:16,395 that means anything to me. 111 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,106 I'm going to get it back. 112 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,193 And you... are gonna help me. 113 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,695 And why would I do that? 114 00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:29,533 Because you owe me. 115 00:07:32,662 --> 00:07:34,664 Right. That. 116 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,294 The Devil solving crime. 117 00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:43,047 It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 118 00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:54,850 Seeing as this was long before my police consultant days, 119 00:07:54,934 --> 00:07:57,311 I needed help, professional help. 120 00:07:57,395 --> 00:07:59,981 Jack was a tough guy I knew from back when. 121 00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:03,526 Bit of a hot mess since the war, but when it came to solving crimes, 122 00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:05,778 he was the best in the business. 123 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,571 Hang on. 124 00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,283 Why does the investigator have to be a boy? 125 00:08:11,826 --> 00:08:13,494 My mom solves crimes all the time. 126 00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,370 Fine. 127 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,540 As I was saying... 128 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,843 Well, if it ain't Lucifer Morningstar. 129 00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:31,137 What can I do you for? 130 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:34,598 I need to locate a rare and extremely valuable 131 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,308 piece of stolen jewelry. 132 00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:40,937 This ring... 133 00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:42,732 to be precise. 134 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,608 Wait. Stop the story. 135 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,154 You're supposed to be telling me about your ring. 136 00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,529 Your ring is black. 137 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,090 Do you want to hear the story or not? 138 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:51,754 Because I'd be perfectly happy at the bar. 139 00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:54,493 Okay, okay. Please, continue. 140 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:55,995 Oh, thank you. 141 00:08:56,829 --> 00:08:57,830 So... 142 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,207 And why would I stick my nose in? 143 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:11,927 All right, I'm listening. 144 00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:15,181 Where'd you last see the ring? 145 00:09:21,771 --> 00:09:24,440 All right, listen. This is a pretty rough joint. 146 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,901 Trouble comes a-knockin', best stay behind me. 147 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:29,737 Oh, don't worry. I've seen my fair share of trouble. 148 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:33,324 Hmm! Oh, yeah? How many Nazis you take out lately? 149 00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:35,951 At ease, soldier. 150 00:09:37,078 --> 00:09:40,289 If fisticuffs ensue, I promise to let you have all the fun. 151 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:43,751 So... 152 00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:47,088 Which one of these ne'er-do-wells should we interview first? 153 00:09:49,048 --> 00:09:50,925 Same person everyone talks to. 154 00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,076 Be with you in two shakes. 155 00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:03,561 What's your poison? 156 00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,481 Gin? Tequila? 157 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,943 We're, uh, looking for information on Lily Rose's ring. 158 00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:10,319 You know who nabbed it? 159 00:10:13,489 --> 00:10:14,489 Word on the street... 160 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,743 is folks say a newcomer was seen lurking around 161 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:20,079 Lily's dressing room the night the ring disappeared. 162 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,457 Sticky-fingered gent by the name of Lucky Larry. 163 00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:26,043 - Oh. - Oh. You get a description? 164 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,344 Sure, sure. Handsome. Kind of beefy. 165 00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,721 Short-haired, strong jaw. 166 00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:40,766 Usually wears a plain, blue suit. Oh... 167 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,351 and an eyepatch. 168 00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,460 Well, you might have led with that. 169 00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:46,855 All right. 170 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,484 Hey. 171 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:52,778 See that fella? 172 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:56,282 That's the face of a rat just dying to squeal. 173 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:57,867 You sit tight. 174 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,244 I'm gonna go lend him an ear. 175 00:11:02,288 --> 00:11:03,622 Oh. Lovely. 176 00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:05,416 Just what the doctor ordered. 177 00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:09,128 Jack Monroe, PI. 178 00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,721 You got any information on a Lucky Larry? 179 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:21,473 Seen him around. 180 00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:24,476 Handsome, beefy, strong jaw. 181 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,770 - Eyepatch? - That's the guy! 182 00:11:28,189 --> 00:11:29,189 Listen. 183 00:11:29,899 --> 00:11:32,902 I don't want any trouble, but if you meet me out back in five, 184 00:11:33,444 --> 00:11:34,964 I might be able to get you the skinny. 185 00:11:35,613 --> 00:11:36,613 All right. 186 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,333 Well... 187 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,086 It appears our rat turned tail and ran. 188 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,923 Yeah. He'll show. 189 00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,053 So? What did you wanna tell me? 190 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:02,932 That you should watch your back. 191 00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:04,432 Oh! 192 00:12:05,351 --> 00:12:06,852 - Ow! - You again. 193 00:12:06,936 --> 00:12:10,022 Oh, dear. Are you certain you don't want me to get involved? 194 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,958 It feels a little unsporting just standing here. 195 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:14,276 I take it back. 196 00:12:38,968 --> 00:12:40,761 Warmed 'em up for you, Mr. Stompanato. 197 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,225 Thanks, boys. 198 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,521 - Wait! Hold it. - Oh, for crying out loud. 199 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:53,232 I thought you said, "Mr. Stompanato." 200 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,025 Mister is a man. 201 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:58,237 Did you or did you not request a gender-balanced narrative? 202 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,364 I'm simply following your instructions. 203 00:13:03,409 --> 00:13:04,702 Perhaps you're wondering 204 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,704 why I gathered you here this fine evening. 205 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,454 Thing is... 206 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:13,043 I don't like folks asking questions in my club. 207 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,338 Sticking noses where they don't belong. 208 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,047 So... 209 00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:20,759 if you could refrain... 210 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,846 Oh, I would deeply appreciate it. 211 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:26,598 Because next time... 212 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,519 I won't be so nice. 213 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,897 That means you're gonna die. 214 00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:45,117 And you... 215 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,163 You're lucky you're a friend of Lily's. 216 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,125 But don't get too friendly. 217 00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:58,797 Enjoy your evening. 218 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,760 Let's go, boys. 219 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,936 Yeah, thanks for having my six back there. 220 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,522 You told me to stay behind you. 221 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,901 Which wasn't easy, considering you spent so much time on the pavement. 222 00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:22,071 So, what now? 223 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,742 Well, we'll check out Lucky Larry's usual haunts in the morning. 224 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,036 You know, petty thieves are like bad pennies. 225 00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,871 Sooner or later, they always turn up. 226 00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:32,539 Well, then, 227 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:34,792 I am off to trip the light fantastic 228 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,794 with your city's best and brightest. 229 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,713 I assume you have plans of your own. 230 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:44,176 What can I say? Life's one big party. 231 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,391 Little did I know, Jack and his wife, Shirley, 232 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:53,268 - were going through a rough patch. - How are the potatoes? 233 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,068 I made them with cream... just like you like. 234 00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:07,782 Um... 235 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,284 What happened with your eye? 236 00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:13,788 Nothing. 237 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,060 Jack, I know you're still sore with me, but you can't just... 238 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,378 Excuse me. I lost my appetite. 239 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:26,135 God forbid a man gets a moment's peace around here. 240 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:36,437 Lucky Larry? 241 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:53,954 Give me that name again. 242 00:15:57,416 --> 00:16:00,544 I have to say, that dress is a lovely color on you. 243 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,588 What say we leave the dishes 244 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,423 and take it for a spin at the Copacabana? 245 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:07,050 Oh, that's sweet of you, Mr. Morningstar, but... 246 00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:09,887 - I already have my dance partner. - Oh. 247 00:16:11,263 --> 00:16:12,639 At least I thought I did. 248 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:14,516 All right, thanks. 249 00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:22,941 If you know what's good for you, you stay the hell away from my wife. 250 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,610 Well, I didn't think you'd mind, 251 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:27,237 considering you haven't said two words to her since I arrived. 252 00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:29,323 I just got off the horn with my informant. 253 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,200 Apparently, Lucky Larry got into it 254 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:32,910 with someone down at the docks yesterday. 255 00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:37,539 A, uh, bratwurst heir by the name of William Kincannon. 256 00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:39,708 Folks call him, Willy "The Sausage Prince." 257 00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:41,936 Sounds like an upstanding fellow. 258 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,379 Yeah, well, I'll bust his chops in the morning. 259 00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:49,384 Jack. Where are you going? 260 00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:50,468 I, um... 261 00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:52,679 I think it's gonna be an early morning and, uh... 262 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:54,388 I'll just... 263 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,475 sleep at the office. 264 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:04,191 So, what did the missus do to get your trousers in such a twist? 265 00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:05,609 Cheat on you? 266 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,820 Kick your dog? Ruin your favorite shirt? 267 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:09,947 None of the above. 268 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,615 Couple of weeks back, I... 269 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,158 went out with... 270 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,703 some of my army pals and, uh... 271 00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,666 ...a few drinks in, the captain says to me... 272 00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:25,546 "You and Shirley were the best 20 bucks I ever spent." 273 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:31,218 Well, I thought it was fate that brought Shirley and I together 274 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,136 in the public library that day. 275 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,389 All along, it was... 276 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,224 just about money. 277 00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:39,685 - Shirley was a call girl. - Yeah. 278 00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,479 That's right. And rousting me 279 00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:44,398 out of my shell shock was her final trick. 280 00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:45,982 Well... 281 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:47,985 aren't you lucky? 282 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,945 To benefit from the experience 283 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:53,699 your wife has gained with dozens, maybe hundreds, of men. 284 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:57,327 Firemen, barbers, sailors, carnival barkers, butchers... 285 00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:58,662 Yeah, I get it. 286 00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,791 If it bothers you so much, why not just up stakes and leave? 287 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,251 Well, 'cause I love her. 288 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,712 And, uh, she says she loves me. 289 00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:10,817 So when you find out the best thing that ever happened to you 290 00:18:10,841 --> 00:18:13,719 started with a lie, well, it's like building a house on quicksand. 291 00:18:14,553 --> 00:18:16,471 Sooner or later, it all falls apart. 292 00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:20,892 Sorry. Got lost in a daydream 293 00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:24,813 on account of your problem being so extraordinarily boring. 294 00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:28,066 Have you considered forgetting about it? 295 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:32,112 "Have I considered forgetting about it"? 296 00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,907 - Is that your advice? - Well, in my experience, 297 00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:40,746 problems are like... bible salesmen or genital warts. 298 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:44,207 If you pretend they're not there, sooner or later, they disappear. 299 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:54,635 Can you not paint the sword first? 300 00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:56,345 It's ridiculously heavy. 301 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,764 - Perhaps you'd like a break, sir. - Ugh. 302 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,389 Yeah. 303 00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:03,768 Why don't ya... 304 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,812 take a load off, Willy? 305 00:19:06,063 --> 00:19:07,230 Who the hell are you? 306 00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:11,360 - Jack Monroe, PI. - Lucifer Morningstar, Devil. 307 00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:13,570 Carmina! 308 00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:14,945 Tea. 309 00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:23,288 Oh, my dear friend Sigmund would have had a field day with you. 310 00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:24,956 Where's the ring? 311 00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:28,460 - The what? - Never mind. I'll find it myself. 312 00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:30,503 What are you doing? 313 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,673 What is he doing? What, what is he doing? 314 00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,316 Can you please tell me what he's doing? 315 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,468 Hey. I wouldn't worry about that. 316 00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:39,012 What I would worry about is we heard 317 00:19:39,096 --> 00:19:42,265 you had a pretty heated exchange down at the docks yesterday. 318 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:44,351 Guy named Lucky Larry. 319 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,227 So? 320 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:49,898 So, Lucky Larry stole my friend's ring and then wound up dead. 321 00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,484 Stabbed in the back. Some sort of fancy knife. 322 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:55,696 Wait. You think I killed him? 323 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,781 I would never. 324 00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,951 I mean, I could if I had to, but I didn't. 325 00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:03,053 And I don't know anything about a ring. 326 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,181 Does anyone know about your whereabouts last night? 327 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,205 Yes. 328 00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:07,874 My portraitist. 329 00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:09,835 I was posing as Hannibal crossing the Alps 330 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:11,044 until almost midnight. 331 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,381 The overtime fees for a rental elephant are unconscionable. 332 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,717 How do you know Lucky Larry, exactly? 333 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:28,645 From time to time... 334 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:32,274 I purchase a trinket or two from Lawrence. 335 00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:35,402 How they come into his possession, I do not ask. 336 00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:38,572 I collect objets de guerre. 337 00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:42,159 If he has something that I enjoy, he calls me. 338 00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:45,537 I just love war. Don't you? 339 00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:48,998 Sure. 340 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:52,711 5th Infantry. Battle of the Bulge. 341 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,295 And now, 342 00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:56,423 where exactly did you serve? 343 00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:59,509 - I would've but... - asthma. 344 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,304 That's why I was so upset when Lucky Larry 345 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,848 insisted that we have our meeting up on the docks. 346 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,433 There was dirt everywhere. 347 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,935 And I am almost certain I stepped in feces. 348 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,372 You know, I'm beginning to think that Willy here 349 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,249 doesn't have the brains to have nicked Lily's ring. 350 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,524 No kidding. 351 00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,777 Where do you and Larry meet normally? 352 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,738 At his apartment. It's not much cleaner than the docks. 353 00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:22,699 And, yes, I will have Carmina write down the address for you. 354 00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:24,742 Thanks. 355 00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:28,914 - Quite a unique fellow, aren't you? - Mmm. 356 00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:32,876 There's a word to describe you, but I can't quite put my finger on it. 357 00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:36,129 It's like a shower, but French. 358 00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,840 Ah. I'm sure it'll come to me. 359 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,926 Hmm. Mmm. 360 00:21:43,678 --> 00:21:45,806 Private dick track down that ring of yours? 361 00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:49,184 Hardly. Her best lead just turned up dead. 362 00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:52,938 Sounds like that ring meant a lot to you. 363 00:21:57,943 --> 00:21:59,236 I was married... 364 00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:00,946 a long time ago. 365 00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:03,448 Guy named Adam. 366 00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:07,452 Things weren't great between us. 367 00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,955 Even worse between me and his father. 368 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:11,957 - I'm sorry. - Don't be. 369 00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:15,293 By the time they sent me away, it was almost a relief. 370 00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:20,966 I took one little piece of that garden on the way out. 371 00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:23,969 The stone that was in my ring. 372 00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:28,807 I didn't like much of anything about my life back then. 373 00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:32,727 But I sure did love that garden. 374 00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:37,690 Anyway... 375 00:22:38,817 --> 00:22:42,279 The ring reminds me that I don't need Adam or his family. 376 00:22:42,821 --> 00:22:44,072 That I don't need anybody. 377 00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:47,242 - Oh, Lily. - You're married, right? 378 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:49,410 Yeah. 379 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:52,289 To my high school sweetheart, Bill. 380 00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:55,709 We got hitched just before he enlisted. 381 00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:57,878 - Mmm. - Wrote each other every day. 382 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,965 Until he got wounded in Guadalcanal. 383 00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:07,304 But he made it out. All the way to the VA upstate. 384 00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:11,141 But the doctors, they can't... 385 00:23:13,476 --> 00:23:15,270 We've known each other all our lives. 386 00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:18,273 I just can't believe... 387 00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:20,275 I might lose him. 388 00:23:21,568 --> 00:23:24,404 Guess I'm lucky I never got attached to anybody that way. 389 00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:25,572 Don't you say that! 390 00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:29,159 Every day with my Bill is a gift. 391 00:23:31,953 --> 00:23:33,955 Knowing we may not have much time left... 392 00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,043 only makes it that much sweeter. 393 00:23:44,674 --> 00:23:47,427 Ugh. 394 00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:51,097 Well, I don't know why they called him Lucky Larry. 395 00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:56,478 This apartment is literally the most depressing hovel I've ever seen. 396 00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:58,813 And I've seen Kafka's Hell loop. 397 00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,632 - Ugh. - Your friend's ring might not be here, 398 00:24:07,656 --> 00:24:10,283 but there is plenty of useful information. 399 00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,202 - You see this rug crumpled up? - Mmm. 400 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:15,830 I think this is where our killer bops Larry right in the kisser. 401 00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:18,416 Larry falls backwards here, 402 00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:19,709 hits his head, 403 00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:22,128 right here on the table where you see these wood chips. 404 00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:23,212 Mm-hmm. 405 00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:25,381 But then... 406 00:24:26,091 --> 00:24:27,091 he shakes it off. 407 00:24:27,092 --> 00:24:32,264 He gets up and he charges at our killer, you, like this. 408 00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,766 He knocks the wind out of him. 409 00:24:34,849 --> 00:24:36,535 - Sorry, pal. - That's all right. I love roleplay. 410 00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:40,105 Things are looking up for our pal Larry until the killer pulls out a knife. 411 00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:42,524 - Aha! - Larry... 412 00:24:43,191 --> 00:24:46,111 heads to the window, but the window was painted shut. 413 00:24:46,611 --> 00:24:49,739 He tried. He... wrenched it open. 414 00:24:52,117 --> 00:24:54,411 He got halfway out, when the killer... 415 00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:57,706 comes over, stabs him in the back... 416 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,376 creating that blood splatter. 417 00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:03,043 Oh. 418 00:25:03,336 --> 00:25:04,963 And then... 419 00:25:06,089 --> 00:25:08,883 Larry escapes into the evening. 420 00:25:09,759 --> 00:25:11,761 Only to expire on your doorstep. 421 00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:15,306 I just wish we had some more evidence 422 00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:17,851 pointing us to whoever dusted poor old Larry. 423 00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:20,645 Well, actually, 424 00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:22,814 I might have something. 425 00:25:23,231 --> 00:25:24,649 Huh? 426 00:25:25,275 --> 00:25:28,486 A very expensive cigar. Well, just the tip. 427 00:25:28,862 --> 00:25:31,865 Romeo y Julieta, a favorite of Winston Churchill and... 428 00:25:31,948 --> 00:25:34,743 - Our old pal, Tommy Stompanato. - ...Tommy Stompanato. 429 00:25:40,832 --> 00:25:41,832 Huh. 430 00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:47,547 So Stompanato finds out Lucky Larry stole his girl's ring, 431 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:49,799 poses as a buyer, 432 00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:51,634 gets the ring back. 433 00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:53,511 Then kills the thief to avenge the girl. 434 00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,222 But it Stompanato did all this to impress Lily Rose... 435 00:25:56,306 --> 00:25:58,224 - Why not give her the ring? - Yeah. 436 00:26:27,587 --> 00:26:29,547 Rise and shine, Stompanato. 437 00:26:47,398 --> 00:26:49,776 That certainly explains why he never gave Lily's ring back. 438 00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:54,155 Looks like Mr. Stompanato's bark was worse than his bite. 439 00:27:03,414 --> 00:27:04,494 They took his heart. 440 00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:06,560 What do you think they did with it? 441 00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:08,795 Well, he didn't seem the type to wear it on his sleeve. 442 00:27:08,878 --> 00:27:10,713 - I'll check the floor. - Ugh. 443 00:27:17,345 --> 00:27:18,531 Well, it looks like we were right 444 00:27:18,555 --> 00:27:20,682 about Stompanato rubbing out Lucky Larry. 445 00:27:21,516 --> 00:27:24,102 Same insignia as the knife in Lucky Larry's back. 446 00:27:24,227 --> 00:27:26,980 - But who rubbed out Stompanato? - Ha! 447 00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:29,023 I think I know the answer to that. 448 00:27:29,524 --> 00:27:31,276 A man after his own heart... 449 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,153 and Lily Rose's ring. 450 00:27:35,947 --> 00:27:37,949 And it appears we're too late on both counts. 451 00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:41,202 Who would have the stones to carve up Stompanato? 452 00:27:41,286 --> 00:27:43,788 And what's that wack-a-doo symbol on his face? 453 00:27:43,872 --> 00:27:45,165 They're hieroglyphics. 454 00:27:45,790 --> 00:27:46,790 Uh... 455 00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:49,043 I believe it's the Eye of Horus, 456 00:27:49,127 --> 00:27:51,379 a sacred symbol in ancient Egyptian culture. 457 00:27:51,921 --> 00:27:52,922 Sacred eye? 458 00:27:54,257 --> 00:27:55,425 I've heard that before. 459 00:27:56,176 --> 00:27:58,096 I think I know where to find our graffiti artist. 460 00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:10,398 Hmm. 461 00:28:14,777 --> 00:28:16,362 - Salutations. - Bloody hell. 462 00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:18,405 God. 463 00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:20,450 Have you come seeking... 464 00:28:21,326 --> 00:28:22,368 books? 465 00:28:22,869 --> 00:28:23,869 Yeah. 466 00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:25,955 We have... come... 467 00:28:26,998 --> 00:28:28,958 seeking books. 468 00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:30,500 Oh. 469 00:28:31,252 --> 00:28:33,755 I thought you were here for the secret cult ceremony. 470 00:28:34,255 --> 00:28:35,715 Sorry. My friend is new. 471 00:28:35,798 --> 00:28:38,927 We are absolutely here for the secret cult ceremony, 472 00:28:39,344 --> 00:28:41,544 if you wouldn't mind pointing us in the right direction. 473 00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:42,889 Right through that door. 474 00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:45,475 And if you haven't mail-ordered your robes yet, 475 00:28:45,558 --> 00:28:47,727 there's a few extra hanging on the coat rack. 476 00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:49,354 Hmm. 477 00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:51,564 Lovely. 478 00:28:51,648 --> 00:28:52,648 Thank you. 479 00:29:15,296 --> 00:29:18,466 Melvin the Magnificent at your service. 480 00:29:18,549 --> 00:29:20,551 What is it with this place? 481 00:29:20,635 --> 00:29:24,806 Board-certified priest, oracle, shaman, and justice of the peace. 482 00:29:25,265 --> 00:29:26,474 How may I assist you? 483 00:29:26,849 --> 00:29:28,476 Lift a curse? Cure a nasty rash? 484 00:29:28,559 --> 00:29:31,980 I got a love spell guaranteed to reel in a dame at 50 paces. 485 00:29:32,105 --> 00:29:34,315 We're looking for something much stronger than that. 486 00:29:34,983 --> 00:29:36,359 Preferably Egyptian. 487 00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:38,653 Possibly involving the removal of a heart. 488 00:29:40,196 --> 00:29:41,322 Ah... 489 00:29:42,365 --> 00:29:45,785 You seek the ceremony of Anubis. 490 00:29:46,744 --> 00:29:49,872 Yes, we do. We'll take one of those, please. 491 00:29:50,123 --> 00:29:51,124 Very well. 492 00:29:52,292 --> 00:29:53,292 Look over there! 493 00:29:57,964 --> 00:30:00,008 For just $12, $12, 494 00:30:00,091 --> 00:30:04,679 our deluxe ceremony of Anubis includes this ceremonial mask, 495 00:30:04,762 --> 00:30:08,141 two acolytes, and a drum made from the skin of a vestal virgin, 496 00:30:08,349 --> 00:30:13,646 a gilded sacrificial dagger and one live chicken. 497 00:30:14,564 --> 00:30:16,834 It never ends well for the chicken. 498 00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:19,360 Or you might prefer... 499 00:30:20,069 --> 00:30:21,362 our economy package. 500 00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:23,238 Uh... 501 00:30:23,448 --> 00:30:24,699 Only $6. 502 00:30:25,450 --> 00:30:26,927 And the chicken hawk comes pre-sacrificed 503 00:30:26,951 --> 00:30:27,951 for your convenience. 504 00:30:27,952 --> 00:30:30,180 Not particularly accurate, historically speaking, 505 00:30:30,204 --> 00:30:33,750 but quite, uh, bloody. My old friend Tutankhamun would've loved it. 506 00:30:34,292 --> 00:30:37,462 In the modern age, we are taught to fear death. 507 00:30:38,004 --> 00:30:40,465 But the ancients understood that death... 508 00:30:41,215 --> 00:30:42,215 is power. 509 00:30:45,803 --> 00:30:47,013 Did you feel powerful... 510 00:30:47,889 --> 00:30:50,058 when you were holding Tommy Stompanato's heart 511 00:30:50,141 --> 00:30:51,541 in your hands after you killed him? 512 00:30:53,436 --> 00:30:55,438 Somebody killed Tommy Stompanato? 513 00:30:57,315 --> 00:31:00,443 You... You can't possibly believe that I had anything to do with that. 514 00:31:00,526 --> 00:31:05,031 - Oh, yeah, we absolutely do. - Yes. Tell us, Melvin the Magnificent, 515 00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:07,325 what is it you desire? 516 00:31:09,827 --> 00:31:11,454 - I... - Yes. 517 00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:12,537 ...want... 518 00:31:13,206 --> 00:31:14,206 Yeah? 519 00:31:14,499 --> 00:31:16,501 ...a 1941 Pontiac Torpedo. 520 00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:22,173 Eight-cylinder engine, 103 horsepower... 521 00:31:22,256 --> 00:31:25,676 Zero to 40 in under three minutes. And... 522 00:31:26,594 --> 00:31:28,262 - surprisingly affordable. - Ah. 523 00:31:28,346 --> 00:31:31,015 A few of these, uh, deluxe ceremonies a week, 524 00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:33,726 a couple of, uh, sacred objects here and there, 525 00:31:33,851 --> 00:31:35,812 and I'm cruising the open road by summer. 526 00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,313 You killed Stompanato, 527 00:31:37,397 --> 00:31:40,400 and then you stole my friend Lilith's very special ring. 528 00:31:40,483 --> 00:31:43,820 So forget the open road. The only place you're going is downtown. 529 00:31:43,903 --> 00:31:45,196 Hold the line there, pal. 530 00:31:45,947 --> 00:31:47,547 Are you talking about the Ring of Lilith? 531 00:31:47,573 --> 00:31:49,367 Because my clients, uh, 532 00:31:49,951 --> 00:31:54,163 parishioners, would pay top-dollar for even a slightly passable fake. 533 00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:55,498 We could split the profits. 534 00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:58,501 Objects of immortality are my bestsellers. 535 00:31:58,584 --> 00:32:00,795 Right. Can any of your "parishioners" 536 00:32:00,878 --> 00:32:03,548 account for your whereabouts from noon to 6:00 today? 537 00:32:03,631 --> 00:32:06,884 Well, sure. I was here. I did, uh, four tarot card readings, 538 00:32:07,343 --> 00:32:09,220 uh, an exorcism, mmm, 539 00:32:09,637 --> 00:32:12,306 - and, uh, a bar mitzvah. - Oh. 540 00:32:12,515 --> 00:32:15,226 Tony Stompanato's heart was ripped out in an identical manner 541 00:32:15,309 --> 00:32:17,869 to your little chicken scam. So if it wasn't you that killed him, 542 00:32:18,271 --> 00:32:19,981 it had to be one of your customers. 543 00:32:20,064 --> 00:32:22,275 Did you tell any of them about the Ring of Lilith? 544 00:32:22,358 --> 00:32:25,361 Well, sure. I've been selling maps to Lilith's tomb for years, 545 00:32:25,445 --> 00:32:29,365 but, uh, I couldn't tell you who bought 'em on account of all the robes. 546 00:32:29,490 --> 00:32:33,536 Well, that was a clucking waste of time. 547 00:32:36,330 --> 00:32:38,875 I'm afraid we've hit a dead end. 548 00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:42,879 Found a few heart puns, had a few laughs, but... 549 00:32:43,004 --> 00:32:45,631 it seems you'll have to live without your ring. 550 00:32:46,966 --> 00:32:51,679 So, why don't I repay my debt some other way? Hmm? 551 00:32:52,305 --> 00:32:54,807 - A castle, a... - private island, 552 00:32:54,891 --> 00:32:56,642 a mountain of gold? 553 00:32:56,726 --> 00:32:59,812 The world is your oyster and I your concierge. 554 00:33:01,981 --> 00:33:04,108 Thousands of years, Lucifer, 555 00:33:04,609 --> 00:33:07,236 and that ring has always been with me. 556 00:33:08,112 --> 00:33:13,409 It reminds me of who I am, why I've done the things I've done. 557 00:33:14,577 --> 00:33:16,913 You mean, why you sent your children to Hell? 558 00:33:17,705 --> 00:33:19,499 I gave you an army. 559 00:33:19,582 --> 00:33:21,834 An army I never asked for. 560 00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:26,005 And... one I didn't know I needed at the time. 561 00:33:27,048 --> 00:33:29,800 But, without them, 562 00:33:29,884 --> 00:33:32,053 I would have spent eternity alone, and... 563 00:33:32,762 --> 00:33:35,473 for that, I shall be forever in your debt. 564 00:33:37,058 --> 00:33:40,686 Which is why I'm truly sorry I couldn't get your ring back. 565 00:33:45,399 --> 00:33:46,609 So am I. 566 00:33:48,194 --> 00:33:54,325 So, how exactly did everyone get the idea 567 00:33:54,408 --> 00:33:57,662 it's the ring that makes you immortal, anyway? Hmm? 568 00:33:58,913 --> 00:34:00,873 Ah... 569 00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:06,879 So, I hitch a ride through the Americas with this explorer, Hernan Cortes. 570 00:34:07,046 --> 00:34:09,632 Obsessed with gold, rains bloodshed 571 00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:12,051 and terror wherever he goes, a real wet blanket. 572 00:34:12,176 --> 00:34:14,845 I split the second we hit land 573 00:34:14,929 --> 00:34:21,811 and hook up with this strapping Aztec warrior, Montezuma. 574 00:34:22,061 --> 00:34:27,483 We have a few drinks, he asks if I'm a virgin. 575 00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:31,529 I say yes because that always got the folks in Spain going. 576 00:34:31,988 --> 00:34:32,988 Mm-hmm. 577 00:34:33,030 --> 00:34:36,325 Next thing I know, some priest fellas are throwing me in a volcano. 578 00:34:36,784 --> 00:34:40,746 I survive, and somebody writes it on his stone tablet, 579 00:34:40,830 --> 00:34:42,123 you know how these things start. 580 00:34:42,206 --> 00:34:46,210 I do. Ah, mortals. 581 00:34:46,961 --> 00:34:49,422 Wouldn't mind seeing the look on that thief's face 582 00:34:49,505 --> 00:34:52,758 when they realize that that ring doesn't do a damn thing. 583 00:34:52,925 --> 00:34:54,093 Hold on. 584 00:34:54,969 --> 00:34:57,013 The ring doesn't work, 585 00:34:57,763 --> 00:35:00,766 which means the thief will be looking for a way to make it work. 586 00:35:03,394 --> 00:35:06,647 Lilith, I believe I found a way to get your ring back. 587 00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:11,152 All we need is a high priest, a jeweler, and a distraction. 588 00:35:17,908 --> 00:35:19,994 Thanks to a certain high priest-cum-magic 589 00:35:20,077 --> 00:35:21,245 school freshman I know, 590 00:35:21,329 --> 00:35:22,955 the word is out that your ring only works 591 00:35:23,039 --> 00:35:25,625 when it's attached to this rather gaudy bangle. 592 00:35:25,708 --> 00:35:27,585 So, whoever stole the ring will come back 593 00:35:27,668 --> 00:35:29,712 for this bracelet. 594 00:35:30,254 --> 00:35:33,066 The thief waits till you're on stage and sneaks into your dressing room, 595 00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:34,090 just as before. 596 00:35:34,091 --> 00:35:36,385 Except this time, our pal Jack will be watching. 597 00:35:36,469 --> 00:35:40,139 Jack catches thief, thief gives up ring, and before you know it, 598 00:35:40,222 --> 00:35:42,784 that little piece of Eden will be back on your finger where it belongs. 599 00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:44,518 Mm-hmm. 600 00:35:49,774 --> 00:35:50,775 Hey. 601 00:35:55,571 --> 00:35:57,031 I appreciate you doing this. 602 00:35:57,114 --> 00:35:59,325 Well, your friend Lucifer said you needed me. 603 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:02,370 But when this is over, I'm taking the bus to Des Moines. 604 00:36:02,453 --> 00:36:04,205 I'm gonna move back in with my mother. 605 00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:13,714 Okay, so, uh, when Lily gives the cue, you take the bracelet. Okay? 606 00:36:13,798 --> 00:36:17,134 And then I parade it around the club, take it back to the dressing room, 607 00:36:17,510 --> 00:36:18,928 put it in the safe. 608 00:36:19,762 --> 00:36:20,846 Wait. 609 00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:25,434 Just, uh... 610 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:27,978 be careful, okay? 611 00:36:30,314 --> 00:36:33,109 I'm gonna need more than that, Jack. 612 00:36:37,029 --> 00:36:39,615 All this time you've spent on Earth, 613 00:36:40,533 --> 00:36:43,369 have you ever connected with a human? 614 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,372 Oh, I've connected with thousands of humans. 615 00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:49,709 You know, once, Caligula and I made a human train out of 37 hum... 616 00:36:49,792 --> 00:36:52,753 I'm not talking about sex, Lucifer. 617 00:36:54,463 --> 00:36:57,842 I'm talking about an emotional connection. 618 00:36:58,634 --> 00:37:02,346 Oh, absolutely not. 619 00:37:02,430 --> 00:37:05,070 It would take a literal miracle for me to want something like that, 620 00:37:05,099 --> 00:37:08,686 and I'm fairly certain my father is not handing those out anymore. Why? 621 00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:11,480 Just wondering. 622 00:37:17,361 --> 00:37:18,988 Take my wife. Please! 623 00:37:21,741 --> 00:37:25,953 Abe Gantz, the funniest man in Manhattan! 624 00:37:30,708 --> 00:37:31,959 By special request, 625 00:37:32,042 --> 00:37:35,504 I'm going to sing a song that's been a favorite of mine for a while. 626 00:37:35,588 --> 00:37:36,588 Ah! 627 00:37:37,715 --> 00:37:39,049 Truth is, I'm... 628 00:37:40,634 --> 00:37:42,887 - Just $1. - Not sure I ever really 629 00:37:42,970 --> 00:37:45,556 understood what it meant until just now. 630 00:37:47,391 --> 00:37:49,018 Oh! 631 00:37:50,019 --> 00:37:51,979 Sorry about that, folks. 632 00:37:52,062 --> 00:37:54,940 Had this old thing for forever, and it always gets in the way. 633 00:37:55,733 --> 00:37:58,986 How about a little costume change before we get started. 634 00:38:02,865 --> 00:38:05,493 Be a doll and put this in my safe, will you? 635 00:38:21,759 --> 00:38:26,889 There's a saying old says That love is blind 636 00:38:27,556 --> 00:38:33,270 Still, we're often told Seek and ye shall find 637 00:38:33,604 --> 00:38:37,733 So I'm going to seek a certain lad 638 00:38:37,817 --> 00:38:43,656 I had in mind 639 00:38:45,074 --> 00:38:49,745 Lookin' everywhere Haven't found him yet 640 00:38:50,538 --> 00:38:56,168 He's the big affair I cannot forget 641 00:38:56,836 --> 00:39:03,008 Only lad I ever think of with regret 642 00:39:07,596 --> 00:39:12,685 I'd like to add his initials 643 00:39:12,768 --> 00:39:15,896 To my monogram 644 00:39:17,857 --> 00:39:23,195 Tell me where is the shepherd 645 00:39:23,279 --> 00:39:27,908 For this lost lamb 646 00:39:30,077 --> 00:39:34,832 There's a somebody I'm longing to see 647 00:39:35,374 --> 00:39:41,547 I hope that he turns out to be 648 00:39:42,381 --> 00:39:48,596 Someone who'll watch over me 649 00:39:54,351 --> 00:39:59,440 I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood 650 00:39:59,523 --> 00:40:05,529 I know I could always be good 651 00:40:06,363 --> 00:40:13,203 To one who'll watch over me 652 00:40:22,171 --> 00:40:25,215 Lucifer Morningstar! 653 00:40:30,346 --> 00:40:31,347 Jack! 654 00:40:33,057 --> 00:40:36,477 Thank God, you're okay. There's a man in Lily's dressing room. 655 00:40:37,061 --> 00:40:39,939 I made sure he saw me put the bracelet in the safe, just like you said. 656 00:40:40,731 --> 00:40:42,191 Go, before he gets away! 657 00:40:42,691 --> 00:40:43,943 You're an angel, Shirl. 658 00:40:44,485 --> 00:40:45,903 - Go! - Okay. 659 00:40:56,789 --> 00:40:57,873 Hands in the air. 660 00:41:00,584 --> 00:41:03,629 Back up. Back up slowly. 661 00:41:06,298 --> 00:41:07,549 Turn around. 662 00:41:14,056 --> 00:41:16,183 You killed Tommy Stompanato? 663 00:41:16,433 --> 00:41:17,685 And I took the ring... 664 00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:25,109 and I performed the ceremony of Anubis to unlock its ancient power. 665 00:41:25,901 --> 00:41:32,700 And now, I am immortal! 666 00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:38,038 Well, the whackadoo that killed Tommy Stompanato. 667 00:41:38,122 --> 00:41:39,999 Willy, I didn't think you had it in you. 668 00:41:40,249 --> 00:41:42,835 Larry should've never sold Stompanato that ring. 669 00:41:43,210 --> 00:41:45,254 Neither of them even knew what they had. 670 00:41:48,757 --> 00:41:50,843 I knew all about the ring. 671 00:41:51,135 --> 00:41:53,721 I'm the one who hired Lucky Larry to steal it. 672 00:41:54,346 --> 00:41:56,348 Now put the gun down and hand it over. 673 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,441 Gertie, how could you? 674 00:42:05,524 --> 00:42:07,526 Because it was my plan. 675 00:42:08,402 --> 00:42:09,737 I tracked down the ring. 676 00:42:10,070 --> 00:42:13,574 I told Lucky Larry how and when to steal it. 677 00:42:13,657 --> 00:42:15,343 I even told him he could have everything in the safe 678 00:42:15,367 --> 00:42:16,744 if he just gave me the ring... 679 00:42:17,953 --> 00:42:18,953 and what did he do? 680 00:42:19,663 --> 00:42:23,042 Sold it to some lovesick wise guy who wound up killin' him! 681 00:42:23,125 --> 00:42:24,125 Time out! 682 00:42:24,168 --> 00:42:27,880 So, both Gertie and Willy learned about the ring from Melvin the Magnificent? 683 00:42:28,297 --> 00:42:29,757 Correct. Mmm. 684 00:42:30,424 --> 00:42:33,719 Gertie hired Lucky Larry to steal the ring, but instead, 685 00:42:33,802 --> 00:42:36,346 he betrayed her and sold it to Stompanato 686 00:42:36,430 --> 00:42:37,723 for a higher price. 687 00:42:38,015 --> 00:42:40,267 But then Stompanato killed Larry out of revenge 688 00:42:40,350 --> 00:42:42,394 for stealing his girl's ring in the first place? 689 00:42:42,478 --> 00:42:45,647 Indeed. But, unfortunately for Stompanato, 690 00:42:45,731 --> 00:42:48,650 Willy the Sausage Prince also wanted the ring, 691 00:42:48,734 --> 00:42:51,570 and ripped the mobster's heart out in an all-too-real version 692 00:42:51,653 --> 00:42:55,616 of Melvin the Magnificent's fake cult ceremony in order to make it work. 693 00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:56,784 Huh? 694 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,872 - Forget it, Trix. It's Chinatown. - It's what? 695 00:43:02,414 --> 00:43:03,415 Never mind. 696 00:43:03,499 --> 00:43:05,539 Would you like to hear the rest of the story or not? 697 00:43:06,418 --> 00:43:09,838 Now, I don't wanna hurt anyone, but I need to save Bill. 698 00:43:09,922 --> 00:43:12,841 Jewelry isn't going to save your husband, Gertie. 699 00:43:12,925 --> 00:43:15,344 You're lying! You're lying. 700 00:43:15,844 --> 00:43:17,471 I saw you that night in the alley. 701 00:43:18,055 --> 00:43:19,282 You got caught in the crossfire 702 00:43:19,306 --> 00:43:21,683 between the Stompanato boys and the Brooklyn Bridge Gang. 703 00:43:22,476 --> 00:43:26,772 You got shot half a dozen times and walked away. 704 00:43:26,855 --> 00:43:30,734 I see. But that had nothing to do with a magic ring. 705 00:43:30,984 --> 00:43:32,664 There's no such thing. 706 00:43:32,778 --> 00:43:33,779 That can't be true. 707 00:43:33,904 --> 00:43:37,074 Let's just settle this ring-amarole once and for all, shall we? 708 00:43:37,157 --> 00:43:38,408 What? 709 00:43:42,496 --> 00:43:43,580 You shot me. 710 00:43:43,664 --> 00:43:46,041 - Yes, I did. - I'm bleeding out. 711 00:43:47,167 --> 00:43:48,502 I'm bleeding out. 712 00:43:48,710 --> 00:43:52,840 Well, that's a lot of bellyaching for a guy who loves war. 713 00:43:59,054 --> 00:44:00,514 It's not real. 714 00:44:03,976 --> 00:44:04,976 I can't save him. 715 00:44:05,018 --> 00:44:06,603 Of course you can't. 716 00:44:07,479 --> 00:44:11,191 So why risk everything... trying? 717 00:44:12,067 --> 00:44:13,819 Gertie, you could've died. 718 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,780 Let me help you. 719 00:44:18,198 --> 00:44:19,449 We all die, Lily. 720 00:44:21,618 --> 00:44:22,953 And that's okay. 721 00:44:25,622 --> 00:44:31,295 The truth is, I'd rather die today trying to save the man I love... 722 00:44:33,755 --> 00:44:35,507 than live forever without him. 723 00:44:44,683 --> 00:44:46,226 Oh, Gertie. 724 00:44:50,022 --> 00:44:51,899 I am too rich to go to jail! 725 00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:55,944 No! You call my father! Call my father! 726 00:44:57,738 --> 00:44:59,865 Call my father! 727 00:45:04,536 --> 00:45:06,288 There's two ways this can go. 728 00:45:08,248 --> 00:45:10,500 Either the Sausage Prince gets what's coming to him 729 00:45:10,584 --> 00:45:12,586 and we pin Stompanato for the rest, 730 00:45:13,170 --> 00:45:17,841 or we get the lady bartender involved. Your call if you wanna press charges. 731 00:45:25,933 --> 00:45:28,518 Let her enjoy whatever time Bill has left. 732 00:45:34,983 --> 00:45:37,945 Well, you're an odd duck, but, uh, it's been... 733 00:45:38,946 --> 00:45:40,113 It's been real interesting. 734 00:45:40,322 --> 00:45:41,531 Hmm. 735 00:45:41,615 --> 00:45:43,200 You take care of yourself, kid. 736 00:45:45,452 --> 00:45:47,788 You too, old man. 737 00:45:54,336 --> 00:45:59,216 Hey, Shirl, um, so what time's your bus? 738 00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:02,135 Midnight. 739 00:46:05,097 --> 00:46:08,267 Oh, yeah. So, if you hurry, 740 00:46:08,350 --> 00:46:10,018 uh, you can still make it. 741 00:46:13,105 --> 00:46:14,398 Yeah. 742 00:46:20,779 --> 00:46:22,030 Shirl! 743 00:46:26,535 --> 00:46:27,619 Um... 744 00:46:28,370 --> 00:46:29,496 I, uh... 745 00:46:30,747 --> 00:46:32,332 I was thinking, if, um... 746 00:46:34,209 --> 00:46:35,711 If it's all right with you, I... 747 00:46:38,755 --> 00:46:39,965 Maybe I could come with you. 748 00:46:42,134 --> 00:46:44,094 It's a long ride to Des Moines, Jack. 749 00:46:46,430 --> 00:46:47,472 Good. 750 00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:52,436 Give us a chance to talk. 751 00:46:53,353 --> 00:46:54,521 Come here. 752 00:47:04,698 --> 00:47:07,743 So, ring returned, favor repaid. 753 00:47:07,826 --> 00:47:09,161 See you in a few hundred years? 754 00:47:13,206 --> 00:47:14,166 No. 755 00:47:14,167 --> 00:47:15,917 Well, you drive a hard bargain, 756 00:47:16,001 --> 00:47:17,961 but, fine, I'll throw in a castle as well. 757 00:47:18,045 --> 00:47:20,380 I have a lovely 22-bedroom in Austria, 758 00:47:20,464 --> 00:47:21,798 hardly got bombed at all. 759 00:47:22,883 --> 00:47:24,259 I don't want a castle. 760 00:47:24,468 --> 00:47:26,028 Well, now, you're just being difficult. 761 00:47:27,512 --> 00:47:28,680 Cortes... 762 00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:31,433 Montezuma, 763 00:47:31,516 --> 00:47:33,185 Willy the Sausage Prince... 764 00:47:34,269 --> 00:47:36,271 they all think they want to live forever... 765 00:47:38,148 --> 00:47:41,151 but they already have something so much more precious. 766 00:47:42,861 --> 00:47:44,279 Gertie was right. 767 00:47:46,031 --> 00:47:47,657 It's knowing there's an end... 768 00:47:49,576 --> 00:47:51,536 That's what makes the rest of it count. 769 00:47:52,788 --> 00:47:55,332 That's what connects them to one another. 770 00:47:56,124 --> 00:47:59,419 What makes them brave even when they have no reason to be. 771 00:48:01,505 --> 00:48:03,715 I think I've been immortal long enough. 772 00:48:20,232 --> 00:48:22,067 I want you to have it. 773 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,864 Once you do this, there's no going back. 774 00:48:29,199 --> 00:48:30,534 Are you sure? 775 00:48:32,452 --> 00:48:33,578 Just one thing. 776 00:48:33,662 --> 00:48:35,997 Oh, and it never ends with you, does it? 777 00:48:36,706 --> 00:48:38,750 Although, I suppose it will now. 778 00:48:42,129 --> 00:48:44,798 Would you like me to bring your children up to say goodbye? 779 00:48:46,591 --> 00:48:50,387 And undo everything they've learned in Hell? Never. 780 00:48:51,388 --> 00:48:53,098 My children are perfect. 781 00:48:54,099 --> 00:48:58,103 They can't be banished because they have no home. 782 00:48:58,687 --> 00:49:01,731 Can't be abandoned because they have no family. 783 00:49:02,065 --> 00:49:04,734 They'll never be cast out of the proverbial garden. 784 00:49:04,901 --> 00:49:07,362 You can never tell them what I've done today, Lucifer. 785 00:49:09,656 --> 00:49:11,658 Not if they're going to be unbreakable. 786 00:49:12,784 --> 00:49:14,327 Well, you have my word. 787 00:49:15,912 --> 00:49:21,668 Well... I never thought I'd say this, but, enjoy the rest of your life. 788 00:49:28,884 --> 00:49:30,010 Right back at ya. 789 00:49:32,679 --> 00:49:36,057 So hold me and smile, dear 790 00:49:37,392 --> 00:49:41,021 Put your lips to mine 791 00:49:41,229 --> 00:49:44,191 Forget the past 792 00:49:44,357 --> 00:49:49,279 For this is ours 793 00:49:58,580 --> 00:50:01,249 That ring has Lilith's immortality inside it? 794 00:50:03,293 --> 00:50:05,879 Yes, I suppose it does. 795 00:50:07,339 --> 00:50:11,426 Though, as far as I'm concerned, the only thing special about it is... 796 00:50:13,595 --> 00:50:15,138 it reminds me of an old friend. 797 00:50:17,933 --> 00:50:22,062 So, what happened to Jack and Shirley? Did they live happily ever after? 798 00:50:22,312 --> 00:50:26,233 Well, they moved to Des Moines, probably not. 799 00:50:28,026 --> 00:50:32,155 My mom says dealing with your problems is the only way to get past them. 800 00:50:33,156 --> 00:50:36,368 I bet Jack and Shirley talked the whole bus ride and fixed everything. 801 00:50:38,036 --> 00:50:40,455 Yes. Yes, perhaps they did. 802 00:50:40,956 --> 00:50:44,834 Right. Story time's over. 803 00:50:54,344 --> 00:50:56,429 Thanks, Lucifer. This was fun. 804 00:50:57,055 --> 00:50:58,723 Oh, don't exaggerate. 805 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:08,775 You got the story? 806 00:51:17,033 --> 00:51:18,743 I taught you well, kid. 807 00:51:23,081 --> 00:51:26,084 Once upon a time, the Devil went to New York City. 808 00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:28,795 The year was 1946... 809 00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:13,715 Are you Lily Rose? 810 00:52:17,469 --> 00:52:18,720 Who wants to know? 811 00:52:20,722 --> 00:52:23,600 It's me, Mazikeen. 812 00:52:26,728 --> 00:52:30,690 Lucifer told you that I was here, didn't he? 813 00:52:32,108 --> 00:52:35,570 You'd think the Devil would be better at keeping his trap shut. 814 00:52:35,654 --> 00:52:38,448 No, no. I found you all on my own. 815 00:52:38,531 --> 00:52:41,826 Have you been here all this time? 816 00:52:42,452 --> 00:52:45,205 I gave something a shot. It didn't work out. 817 00:52:46,164 --> 00:52:49,125 That's it? That's all you have to say to me? 818 00:52:50,460 --> 00:52:51,711 What do you want from me? 819 00:52:53,546 --> 00:52:55,382 I wanted to come and see you. 820 00:52:56,633 --> 00:52:57,633 I... 821 00:53:00,011 --> 00:53:02,305 I wanted to know why you abandoned us. 822 00:53:04,349 --> 00:53:05,809 Why you abandoned me. 823 00:53:07,602 --> 00:53:10,355 I did it to make you strong. And it worked. 824 00:53:10,980 --> 00:53:13,108 Just look at you. 825 00:53:14,150 --> 00:53:17,654 I can see you don't need anyone. 826 00:53:24,285 --> 00:53:25,453 Yeah. 827 00:53:26,746 --> 00:53:27,914 Look at me.