1 00:00:02,010 --> 00:00:12,328 Sync by ilse Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:12,396 --> 00:00:14,300 Is anybody worried about dirt on their food here? 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,800 You know, these buses come by. 4 00:00:15,801 --> 00:00:17,723 Everybody makes such a big deal about eating outside. 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,602 - I find it disgusting. - It's al fresco. 6 00:00:20,636 --> 00:00:22,661 Hey, do me a favor and remind me to pick up my glove later. 7 00:00:22,662 --> 00:00:23,996 - I'm getting it restitched. - Okay. 8 00:00:23,997 --> 00:00:25,605 You're wearing gloves? It's the middle of summer. 9 00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:27,406 - No, my baseball glove. - Oh, baseball. 10 00:00:27,441 --> 00:00:28,893 They're in a league. Is that what you call it? 11 00:00:28,894 --> 00:00:30,100 We're playing for the championship. 12 00:00:30,101 --> 00:00:31,372 Are you not listening anything I've ever told you? 13 00:00:31,373 --> 00:00:33,645 I hope it turns out better than the golf championship. 14 00:00:33,679 --> 00:00:35,479 - That's true. - Hey, do you want to come? 15 00:00:35,514 --> 00:00:37,082 No, I don't like baseball. 16 00:00:37,116 --> 00:00:38,785 - I'm a little surprised. - Why? 17 00:00:38,819 --> 00:00:40,321 You I can understand. You've been married a long time. 18 00:00:40,356 --> 00:00:42,290 You could care less about what he does. 19 00:00:42,324 --> 00:00:44,626 - You're absolutely correct. - But we've just started dating. 20 00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:47,798 And when you first start dating you always do things that are distasteful. 21 00:00:47,832 --> 00:00:50,936 - That's part of the process. - Fish and chicken. 22 00:00:50,971 --> 00:00:53,272 We're splitting that so it really doesn't matter. 23 00:00:53,307 --> 00:00:55,342 Okay, how about I give that to you? 24 00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:58,447 And chicken. Enjoy. 25 00:00:58,481 --> 00:01:00,600 - That looks good, Jeff. - How do you want to work this? 26 00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:01,900 I'm gonna keep the chicken. 27 00:01:01,901 --> 00:01:03,990 You can't keep the chicken. We said we're gonna split it. 28 00:01:03,991 --> 00:01:06,222 That fish, to be honest, don't look so good. 29 00:01:06,256 --> 00:01:08,525 I only chose it because I knew we were gonna split it. 30 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,029 Look, you brought the fish into it. I'm saying no. 31 00:01:12,064 --> 00:01:14,109 - That's completely unethical. - You know what? Honestly, Larry, 32 00:01:14,110 --> 00:01:16,635 this is why he's a good manager. You should be thankful he's unethical. 33 00:01:16,669 --> 00:01:18,071 He's unscrupulous. 34 00:01:18,105 --> 00:01:20,074 - You want some of my salad? - Oh my God. 35 00:01:20,109 --> 00:01:22,744 - This is amazing. - It looks really really good. 36 00:01:22,779 --> 00:01:24,879 I'm not even joking. It's fantastic. 37 00:01:24,914 --> 00:01:26,649 - Really? - The food here is great. 38 00:01:26,683 --> 00:01:27,950 - Can I try it? - Nope. 39 00:01:27,985 --> 00:01:30,720 - Just a little taste? - Nope, you made a mistake. 40 00:01:30,755 --> 00:01:32,656 - You're so lying. - No, I swear to God. 41 00:01:32,690 --> 00:01:35,426 I learned a very valuable lesson today. 42 00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:37,261 - What did you learn? - I'd rather keep it to myself. 43 00:01:37,296 --> 00:01:39,397 Know something? I've learned a valuable lesson today too. 44 00:01:39,431 --> 00:01:42,333 No, you're only saying you learned a lesson because I said I learned a lesson. 45 00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:43,735 That's where you're wrong. I'm just sharing. 46 00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:45,970 I know for a fact you did not learn a lesson. 47 00:01:46,004 --> 00:01:48,539 - It's a coincidence. - Speaking of lessons, I'm so sorry-- 48 00:01:48,573 --> 00:01:51,141 I have to go. I have a piano lesson. 49 00:01:51,176 --> 00:01:55,112 Good luck at your wiffle ball game or whatever. 50 00:01:55,146 --> 00:01:56,947 - Softball. - Okay, thanks. 51 00:01:56,981 --> 00:01:59,083 - Bye. - See you after the game. See you Thursday. 52 00:01:59,117 --> 00:02:01,019 - All right, take a shower. - Call me. 53 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,621 - Is she a great girl? - She's great. 54 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,423 She likes you, which is a shocking thing to me. 55 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,161 - She might. - No, she's going out with him again. 56 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,629 - Can I say something? - What? 57 00:02:08,664 --> 00:02:10,898 - I've got to pee. - She gets me. 58 00:02:10,933 --> 00:02:12,967 Well, you're lucky somebody does. 59 00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:16,972 Larry, favor. Jeff's birthday is coming up. 60 00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:18,674 There's a signing thing at the Regency. 61 00:02:18,708 --> 00:02:20,543 Mookie Wilson is gonna be there. 62 00:02:20,577 --> 00:02:23,947 I need you to get this signed as a gift. Can you do that for me? 63 00:02:27,952 --> 00:02:31,555 Lar. Lar. 64 00:02:31,590 --> 00:02:35,025 Larry! What happened? Where'd you go? 65 00:02:35,060 --> 00:02:37,261 - I'm sorry, what? - Mookie Wilson. 66 00:02:37,295 --> 00:02:39,763 Can you get Mookie Wilson to sign this for Jeff's birthday? 67 00:02:39,798 --> 00:02:41,565 - Oh yeah. Okay. - All right? 68 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,136 - Yeah, Mookie's his favorite player. - Yeah. '86 Mets. 69 00:02:47,740 --> 00:02:51,644 I like her, but she's got a kid so what's gonna come of it? 70 00:02:51,678 --> 00:02:53,212 What's the point of the whole thing? 71 00:02:53,247 --> 00:02:55,915 To tell you the truth, whenever I see a woman who's happy, 72 00:02:55,949 --> 00:02:57,350 she's married. 73 00:02:57,384 --> 00:03:00,920 And whenever I see a man who's happy, he's single. 74 00:03:00,955 --> 00:03:04,124 - Mathematics of that is confusing, isn't it? - Yeah. 75 00:03:04,159 --> 00:03:07,194 Anyway, so we were at this restaurant, 76 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,797 all of a sudden I heard this Softee music. 77 00:03:09,831 --> 00:03:11,031 The Mr. Softee Truck. 78 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,634 - The music from the Mr. Softee Truck? - Yes. 79 00:03:13,668 --> 00:03:17,604 When I was a kid I had a traumatic incident 80 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:21,042 involving Mr. Softee. 81 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,678 - Let's do another hand. - Okay. 82 00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:26,715 Two, three, four, five. 83 00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:29,251 - Here we go. - You know what? I'm gonna take two. 84 00:03:32,823 --> 00:03:34,758 All right, Larry, what do you got? 85 00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:36,926 I've got two pair. 86 00:03:36,961 --> 00:03:39,462 Wow, that's pretty good. But not good enough. 87 00:03:39,497 --> 00:03:41,564 I've got a flush. 88 00:03:41,599 --> 00:03:45,202 Yeah, that's right. All right, come on, take it off. 89 00:03:45,236 --> 00:03:47,638 Come on. 90 00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:54,678 That's pretty pretty pretty good. 91 00:04:00,285 --> 00:04:02,152 What the hell are you doing with my daughter? 92 00:04:02,186 --> 00:04:04,822 Come here. Come here. 93 00:04:04,856 --> 00:04:06,923 You be quiet and you listen to me. 94 00:04:06,958 --> 00:04:10,227 - What the fuck? - Your vagina is showing. 95 00:04:10,261 --> 00:04:14,164 Oh my God. He's got more pubes on his fucking head. 96 00:04:14,198 --> 00:04:15,866 You forgot something, kid. 97 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:18,536 What the fuck are you doing, kid? 98 00:04:18,570 --> 00:04:21,973 Put some clothes on, you four-eyed fuck. 99 00:04:22,008 --> 00:04:24,610 And to this day 100 00:04:24,644 --> 00:04:27,346 whenever I see the Softee Truck 101 00:04:27,381 --> 00:04:29,715 or especially hear the music, that music 102 00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,784 that goes in a continuous loop... 103 00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:43,830 You know what I'm talking about? 104 00:04:43,865 --> 00:04:46,232 It's deeply disturbing, there's no question about it. 105 00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:47,767 But let me just make sure I understand. 106 00:04:47,802 --> 00:04:50,103 You felt humiliated as a result of the strip poker game? 107 00:04:50,137 --> 00:04:52,005 Yes. Do you mind if I put my feet up here? 108 00:04:52,039 --> 00:04:53,439 - Please. - You sure? 109 00:04:53,474 --> 00:04:55,274 - No, it's fine. - A lot of people don't like it. 110 00:04:55,308 --> 00:04:57,576 - I am absolutely okay with it. - Although it's just a sneaker. 111 00:04:57,610 --> 00:04:59,779 Well, I think even if it were a dress shoe I would be fine. 112 00:04:59,813 --> 00:05:01,781 You're not gonna resent me when I leave here 113 00:05:01,815 --> 00:05:04,483 for putting my feet up and putting you in this compromising position? 114 00:05:04,518 --> 00:05:07,319 I don't feel funny about it. But if it makes you feel better 115 00:05:07,353 --> 00:05:10,221 I have some Japanese slippers you could change into out there. 116 00:05:10,256 --> 00:05:12,424 Oh, that's kind of you to offer, but I'd rather not. 117 00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:15,192 So just to make sure that I understand things thoroughly, 118 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,795 - you felt humiliated-- - What the hell then, right? 119 00:05:17,829 --> 00:05:19,730 - Sure, go ahead. - Okay. 120 00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:22,833 - You felt humiliated as a result of this-- - I'm not comfortable with it. 121 00:05:22,867 --> 00:05:25,136 - I'm sorry. - All right. 122 00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:27,938 This was a girl that you knew from the neighborhood, I presume. 123 00:05:27,973 --> 00:05:31,208 - Yes. Yes. - You were playing strip poker with her. 124 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,210 And of course I lost almost every hand. 125 00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,045 She took off her socks and shoes. 126 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,949 I feel like if she had taken the top off 127 00:05:37,983 --> 00:05:40,285 my whole life would have been different. 128 00:05:42,054 --> 00:05:44,991 Keep it going. Keep it going, guys. Come on. 129 00:05:45,025 --> 00:05:46,826 - Hey, Yari. Yari. - Keep it going. 130 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,129 - What what what? - What's happening with my car? 131 00:05:49,163 --> 00:05:52,132 Easy job. Be ready tomorrow like I said, okay? 132 00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:53,968 - Really? - You worry too much. 133 00:05:54,002 --> 00:05:57,238 - Worry about the game. - We don't need to worry about this game. 134 00:05:57,272 --> 00:05:59,607 - You need to worry about the game. - We got this game. 135 00:05:59,641 --> 00:06:01,842 Championship game. Bring it in, everybody. 136 00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:03,477 Come on. 137 00:06:04,746 --> 00:06:07,580 Okay, we're here. 138 00:06:07,615 --> 00:06:12,051 We made it! We made it to the big game. 139 00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:14,120 Center stage. 140 00:06:14,154 --> 00:06:18,457 Every one of you all, give yourselves a clap on the hand. 141 00:06:18,491 --> 00:06:22,328 I am so proud of every one of you. 142 00:06:22,362 --> 00:06:25,831 You know, before I came out today 143 00:06:25,865 --> 00:06:28,667 I think about I'm like the Steinbrenner. 144 00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:32,738 And I think, "What would Steinbrenner say right now?" 145 00:06:32,772 --> 00:06:34,706 He would say 146 00:06:34,741 --> 00:06:38,310 that when you put on this uniform 147 00:06:38,345 --> 00:06:40,179 with my name on it, 148 00:06:40,214 --> 00:06:42,782 there is no substitute for winning! 149 00:06:42,816 --> 00:06:44,917 No substitute! 150 00:06:44,952 --> 00:06:46,953 Or you hit the deck. 151 00:06:46,987 --> 00:06:49,255 So we're going to go out there, 152 00:06:49,289 --> 00:06:52,057 we're going to play this other team, 153 00:06:52,092 --> 00:06:54,260 quote unquote, Raleigh's clothing 154 00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:59,098 with their pussy mustard-yellow shit uniforms. 155 00:06:59,132 --> 00:07:01,367 We aren't just going to beat them, 156 00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:04,569 we will grab them and we will fuck 157 00:07:04,604 --> 00:07:07,672 their sisters in the cunt! 158 00:07:07,707 --> 00:07:09,608 Are you listening? 159 00:07:09,642 --> 00:07:11,610 Bring it in. Come on. 160 00:07:11,644 --> 00:07:14,012 - Fuck these people! - Fuck these people! 161 00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:16,214 Yes! 162 00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:20,085 Fuck their sisters in the cunt? Who talks that way? 163 00:07:20,119 --> 00:07:22,287 Okay, here we go. Two outs. 164 00:07:22,321 --> 00:07:25,423 This is it-- championship. One more out, all right? 165 00:07:25,458 --> 00:07:28,760 Ground ball goes to first, second or third or home. 166 00:07:28,794 --> 00:07:30,061 All right, come on, Yari. 167 00:07:43,942 --> 00:07:45,910 Yes! You got it, Larry. 168 00:07:45,944 --> 00:07:49,480 - Here it comes. You've got it. - Oh! 169 00:07:49,515 --> 00:07:51,549 What the fuck? What? 170 00:07:51,584 --> 00:07:54,552 And now they're going home. 171 00:07:54,587 --> 00:07:56,454 How did this-- what? 172 00:07:56,489 --> 00:07:59,357 Where are you? What happened? 173 00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,225 I got distracted by the Softee Truck. 174 00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:03,127 - By the what? - What a douche. What a douche. 175 00:08:03,162 --> 00:08:05,796 - You suck. How could you do this? - What a loser. 176 00:08:05,831 --> 00:08:07,965 A baby could have kicked that ball, 177 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,167 - picked it up, thrown it three place. - Stupid ass! 178 00:08:10,202 --> 00:08:12,903 - You bucknered me. - I'm sorry. 179 00:08:12,938 --> 00:08:17,108 You fucking bucknered it. Why is Buckner on my team? 180 00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,545 Sorry. 181 00:08:23,815 --> 00:08:25,416 Hey. 182 00:08:25,451 --> 00:08:27,852 Oh, about time. God damn, Larry. 183 00:08:27,886 --> 00:08:29,387 I had a softball game. I told you that. 184 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,956 - How was the game? - I made an error in the last inning 185 00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:33,858 with two outs that cost us the championship. 186 00:08:33,892 --> 00:08:35,993 Meanwhile I'm standing the fuck out here counting my motherfucking nuts. 187 00:08:36,027 --> 00:08:37,794 Know why? I can't get in the goddamn building. 188 00:08:37,829 --> 00:08:40,697 - What are you talking about? - This motherfucker in the glass tube. 189 00:08:40,731 --> 00:08:43,066 This dude right here. The gatekeeper won't let me in the goddamn building. 190 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,635 - That's totally unacceptable. - That's unacceptable. 191 00:08:45,669 --> 00:08:49,371 Let me just say this, okay? On behalf of all Caucasians, 192 00:08:49,405 --> 00:08:50,906 - I apologize. - Put that shit in. 193 00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:52,874 I apologize for the Caucasian race. 194 00:08:52,909 --> 00:08:55,076 By the way, I have a very good idea for you. 195 00:08:55,111 --> 00:08:57,345 To avoid situations like this in the future, 196 00:08:57,380 --> 00:09:01,450 I think you should consider wearing glasses. 197 00:09:01,484 --> 00:09:03,385 - Fuck out of here. - Swear to God. 198 00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:06,855 I have noticed that white people revere black people in glasses, 199 00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:09,692 go out of their way to do stuff for them. 200 00:09:09,726 --> 00:09:13,029 If a black man with glasses goes up for a job against a white man, 201 00:09:13,063 --> 00:09:15,532 glasses gets the job. No glasses, no job. 202 00:09:15,566 --> 00:09:17,501 - We'll try this shit, Larry. It's a wager. - You're open to it? 203 00:09:17,535 --> 00:09:19,502 - I'm open to this shit. - Beautiful. 204 00:09:19,537 --> 00:09:21,671 - I'll try this shit and see what the fuck happens. - All right, let's go. 205 00:09:21,706 --> 00:09:24,207 - What's going on with Jennifer, man? - I'm seeing her tonight. 206 00:09:24,241 --> 00:09:27,643 Oh, ha ha! See, I get a fucking tingle in my Johnson 207 00:09:27,678 --> 00:09:30,011 when a motherfucker tells me he's about to get some ass. 208 00:09:30,046 --> 00:09:31,947 - Do your goddamn job. - I'll talk to him. 209 00:09:37,419 --> 00:09:40,589 - Oh. - Oh my God. 210 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,524 Larry, what's the problem? 211 00:09:49,164 --> 00:09:51,466 Well, come on, Mr. Softee. 212 00:09:56,272 --> 00:09:58,473 - Hey, Yari. - Oh. 213 00:09:58,508 --> 00:09:59,941 - Hey. - Hey. 214 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:02,344 - How's it going? - It's great. 215 00:10:02,378 --> 00:10:06,014 - Good. So is the car ready? - Good. Good. 216 00:10:06,049 --> 00:10:09,452 - Let me check. - By the way, great game yesterday. 217 00:10:09,486 --> 00:10:11,888 - You pitched really well. - It's not ready. 218 00:10:11,922 --> 00:10:14,391 It's not ready? How come it's not ready? 219 00:10:14,425 --> 00:10:17,127 - You said it was gonna be ready. - I said it's not ready. 220 00:10:17,161 --> 00:10:20,063 Is it almost ready? 221 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:23,366 Um, I think half. Half ready. 222 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,136 - Half ready? - Yeah yeah yeah. 223 00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:27,938 What happened? 224 00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:31,842 I guess I made an error. 225 00:10:31,876 --> 00:10:34,511 Yeah. 226 00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,980 - You know what I did? I dropped the ball. - Okay. 227 00:10:37,014 --> 00:10:40,083 - No big deal. Made an error. - You didn't fix my car 228 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:43,386 because I made an error? What are you, 12 years old? 229 00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:45,422 What are you, 90 years old? 230 00:10:45,456 --> 00:10:48,157 You let the ball go through your legs. Too too too tot. 231 00:10:48,192 --> 00:10:50,861 The whole season is a complete waste of time! 232 00:10:50,895 --> 00:10:53,530 - It's a softball game! - "It's a softball game"? 233 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,966 You don't understand because you're not the Steinbrenner. 234 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,068 - I am the Steinbrenner. - You're the Steinbrenner? 235 00:10:58,103 --> 00:10:59,737 - I am the Steinbrenner! - Really? 236 00:10:59,771 --> 00:11:02,206 Steinbrenner owned a major league baseball team. 237 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,942 - I own this team. - You own 12 t-shirts. 238 00:11:04,977 --> 00:11:07,412 I paid for them. Yari's autonomics. 239 00:11:07,446 --> 00:11:10,515 You disgraced-- you disgraced my business. 240 00:11:10,550 --> 00:11:12,184 Steinbrenner always say-- 241 00:11:12,218 --> 00:11:15,755 - He says winning is the only answer. - It's important. 242 00:11:15,789 --> 00:11:18,891 He says winning all day, every day or go away. 243 00:11:18,925 --> 00:11:20,659 - I'd like the car. - You'd like the car? 244 00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:23,028 - Yeah. - I'd like my championship back. 245 00:11:23,062 --> 00:11:24,730 - Give me the key. - You are fired. 246 00:11:24,764 --> 00:11:27,032 Just like-- that's what George would do. Take your car. 247 00:11:27,066 --> 00:11:30,568 - Give it to me. - I fire you. Your car is fired. 248 00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:33,037 Take your fucking car. 249 00:11:33,071 --> 00:11:34,738 Here is your key. Here is your key. 250 00:11:34,773 --> 00:11:37,107 I never want to see you or your key 251 00:11:37,141 --> 00:11:39,843 wearing my name on your shirt again. 252 00:11:39,877 --> 00:11:42,446 I won't wear your name on my shirt again, that's a promise. 253 00:11:42,481 --> 00:11:45,550 Don't disgrace me. Get out of my-- Yari's! Get out! 254 00:11:45,585 --> 00:11:48,120 Buckner, fuck you. Go Buckner yourself. 255 00:11:48,154 --> 00:11:49,889 Go! Faster! 256 00:11:51,191 --> 00:11:53,426 So I get the car back from Yari, 257 00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,862 it's worse than it was before. I don't know what he did to it. 258 00:11:55,897 --> 00:11:58,598 The front seat is really rattling. It's terrible. 259 00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:00,967 Hold up, hold up. My shoe is untied. 260 00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:04,236 - I'm gonna get the tickets. I'll be right back. - All right. 261 00:12:07,173 --> 00:12:08,941 Sorry, we're sold out. 262 00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:12,811 What happened? 263 00:12:12,845 --> 00:12:14,279 They're sold out. 264 00:12:14,313 --> 00:12:16,948 - Sold out? - Yeah. 265 00:12:19,184 --> 00:12:21,452 Let me go down here and give it a shot, man. 266 00:12:21,486 --> 00:12:23,488 Wow. 267 00:12:37,303 --> 00:12:38,570 We're good. 268 00:12:41,608 --> 00:12:43,176 Huh? 269 00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:44,844 - Wow. - Can you believe that? 270 00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:47,380 I'm gonna get me a whole new class of bitches with these on. 271 00:12:47,415 --> 00:12:49,883 Wow, this is amazing. It worked. 272 00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:52,686 - They worked. See, what did I tell you? - You're fucking right. 273 00:12:52,721 --> 00:12:56,424 This is better than anything the civil rights leaders have ever come up with. 274 00:12:56,458 --> 00:12:58,726 You're goddamn right. I have overcome, God damn it. 275 00:12:58,761 --> 00:13:00,261 I got to get Mookie's autograph. 276 00:13:00,295 --> 00:13:02,396 I'm gonna check out Joe Pepitone over here. 277 00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,665 What's up, man? 278 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,869 Hey, Dr. Thurgood. 279 00:13:09,904 --> 00:13:12,138 - Larry, how are you? - Hey, hi. 280 00:13:12,173 --> 00:13:14,841 You're getting Mookie's autograph, huh? 281 00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:16,809 Yeah well, I'm usually a Cubs fan. 282 00:13:16,844 --> 00:13:19,179 I'm kind of attracted to the hopeless cases. 283 00:13:19,213 --> 00:13:21,148 Hey, right? 284 00:13:21,182 --> 00:13:22,949 Well, listen, I hope you'll excuse me. 285 00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:25,219 You know when you were a kid walking with your mother through Bohack's, 286 00:13:25,253 --> 00:13:28,889 you saw your teacher and you had to realize she didn't live in school? 287 00:13:28,924 --> 00:13:31,826 You understand? Larry, I don't live in school either. 288 00:13:31,861 --> 00:13:34,096 You know what I mean? Nice to see you. 289 00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:36,399 I have no idea what you're talking about. 290 00:13:36,433 --> 00:13:39,802 Hey, listen. So I've got to talk to you about something. 291 00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:42,671 What happened was I was in a softball game 292 00:13:42,705 --> 00:13:45,174 and I heard the Softee theme-- 293 00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:46,775 again with the Softee theme-- 294 00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:48,210 and a ground ball went through my legs. 295 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,278 That cost us the championship in a softball game. 296 00:13:50,313 --> 00:13:52,436 Are you absolutely sure that you want to deal with this here? 297 00:13:52,437 --> 00:13:53,800 I mean, while we're here? 298 00:13:53,801 --> 00:13:56,150 What's the big deal? We're just on line. So, 299 00:13:56,185 --> 00:13:58,386 and then that night I was in bed with a woman 300 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,855 and I heard the Softee music again and I couldn't perform. 301 00:14:00,889 --> 00:14:02,891 - Well, it is very troubling. - Yes. 302 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:05,260 - She called me Mr. Softee. - She did? 303 00:14:05,294 --> 00:14:07,629 - Yes. - My advice is don't try too much at once. 304 00:14:07,663 --> 00:14:10,465 I had a client once, he was a rock guitarist. 305 00:14:10,499 --> 00:14:13,167 He played for the band, what was the name of it? 306 00:14:13,202 --> 00:14:16,137 Grand Funk Railroad. I don't want to reveal his name because-- 307 00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:18,373 I already told you he played for Grand Funk Railroad. 308 00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:19,707 You can just look it up. It's Mark Farner. 309 00:14:19,742 --> 00:14:21,842 The great thing about Mark Farner was 310 00:14:21,877 --> 00:14:24,344 he didn't mess around with all the extraneous notes. 311 00:14:24,379 --> 00:14:25,813 Do you understand what I'm saying? 312 00:14:25,847 --> 00:14:28,348 - He only played the important notes... - Yeah. 313 00:14:28,383 --> 00:14:30,083 - Yup. - ...And that's what I want you to try. 314 00:14:30,118 --> 00:14:32,352 I find it a little troubling that you told me his name, 315 00:14:32,386 --> 00:14:34,588 because now you could be telling people my name. 316 00:14:34,622 --> 00:14:36,122 It was merely an accident. 317 00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:38,725 Well, I don't want this accident to happen with me. 318 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,228 I completely understand. And I don't think it will happen with your name. 319 00:14:41,262 --> 00:14:43,297 - Have you talked about me to anyone? - Of course not. 320 00:14:43,331 --> 00:14:45,732 I would never do that to you or any other patient, Larry. 321 00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:48,469 - I just couldn't do it. - Oh my God. 322 00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:53,574 Excuse me one second. I think that's Bill Buckner. 323 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,212 Wow. 324 00:14:58,247 --> 00:15:00,914 - Bill Buckner. Oh my God. - Yeah, how are you doing? 325 00:15:00,949 --> 00:15:04,918 - Nice to meet you. - This is amazing that you're here. 326 00:15:04,953 --> 00:15:07,587 I can't believe it. I had an incident at a softball game 327 00:15:07,621 --> 00:15:09,055 that was very similar to what you went through. 328 00:15:09,089 --> 00:15:11,423 Of course yours happened in the world series 329 00:15:11,458 --> 00:15:13,392 in front of millions of people, but nevertheless 330 00:15:13,426 --> 00:15:15,393 a ball went through my legs and cost us the game. 331 00:15:15,428 --> 00:15:18,063 It was humiliating and people were insulting me. 332 00:15:18,097 --> 00:15:20,132 - I'm sorry to hear that. - I can't believe I'm seeing you here. 333 00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:22,134 How did you deal with all that stuff? 334 00:15:22,169 --> 00:15:23,576 You know, when you're giving your best effort, 335 00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:25,269 it's a team game, those things happen. 336 00:15:25,270 --> 00:15:26,673 You've just got to forget about it. 337 00:15:26,707 --> 00:15:28,208 Jeez, you have a really good attitude. 338 00:15:28,242 --> 00:15:30,577 I'd love to talk to you about this. Do you got a minute? 339 00:15:30,612 --> 00:15:35,016 You know, actually I was about ready to take a break for lunch, yeah. 340 00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:38,253 - Can I walk out with you? - Yeah, sure. 341 00:15:38,288 --> 00:15:40,255 Oh, okay, I've just got to get Mookie's autograph. 342 00:15:40,289 --> 00:15:41,956 - I'll get it for you. - Oh great, thanks. 343 00:15:41,991 --> 00:15:43,558 That guy owes me one. 344 00:15:43,592 --> 00:15:45,894 So I saw this commercial last night. 345 00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:48,430 Michael Jordan had a Hitler mustache. 346 00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:51,399 Yeah, I saw that. He's the first one to wear that since Hitler, isn't he? 347 00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:53,267 You know what? I think that's true. 348 00:15:53,302 --> 00:15:56,537 - Hey, Buckner, you suck. - Hey, have a nice day, fellas. 349 00:15:56,571 --> 00:15:59,107 Nice catch. 350 00:15:59,141 --> 00:16:00,608 What jerks, huh? 351 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:04,146 Oh my God. How do you put up with that? 352 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,948 You just get used to it. 353 00:16:05,982 --> 00:16:08,017 - Fuck you, Buckner! - Hey! 354 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,253 - You stink! - Oh, so do you! 355 00:16:10,287 --> 00:16:12,856 Hey, don't worry about it, Larry. 356 00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,825 You're gonna drive yourself crazy. 357 00:16:14,859 --> 00:16:16,593 So how long you gonna be around for? 358 00:16:16,628 --> 00:16:18,662 You want to go take in a couple of Broadway shows? 359 00:16:18,697 --> 00:16:20,397 There's a good one called "Next to Normal" 360 00:16:20,432 --> 00:16:23,701 I hear a lot of good stuff about. Woman has a bipolar disorder. 361 00:16:23,735 --> 00:16:25,869 Could I interrupt you? I've got an emergency. 362 00:16:25,904 --> 00:16:27,537 Are either of you gentlemen Jewish? 363 00:16:27,572 --> 00:16:30,641 - Not me. - Uh, yeah, I'm-- 364 00:16:30,675 --> 00:16:32,776 Listen, I have a problem upstairs. We're doing a kaddish 365 00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:35,412 and we need one more guy to fill out the Minyan. 366 00:16:35,447 --> 00:16:39,416 - What's a Minyan? - A Minyan-- when a Jewish person dies 367 00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:42,985 - you need to have 10 men in a room to say a prayer. - It'll take 10 minutes tops. 368 00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:45,254 - I got my friend here. - He could come along. It's a free lunch. 369 00:16:45,289 --> 00:16:47,390 You could have a little sandwich while you're watching. 370 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,992 - It's a free lunch. - Yeah, it's an emergency. 371 00:16:50,026 --> 00:16:52,227 We've got to get to the cemetery. What do you think? 372 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,896 Have you ever had Jewish food before? 373 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,064 Koufax gave me some kishka one time. 374 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,733 - Okay. - So we can go then? 375 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,402 - All right, fine. Come on. - Let's go. 376 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,004 - Great news. The Minyan is complete. - Hello. 377 00:17:03,039 --> 00:17:05,040 A nice Jewish gentleman has volunteered. 378 00:17:05,074 --> 00:17:06,942 - Thank you very much. - A pleasure. 379 00:17:06,976 --> 00:17:09,077 - I'm gonna give you both-- - Sorry about whatever happened. 380 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:12,414 I don't really know, but somebody obviously died. 381 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,150 We all have to go at some point. 382 00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:16,819 Excuse me. What? 383 00:17:16,853 --> 00:17:19,955 Hopefully there's an afterlife. I'll keep my fingers crossed. 384 00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:22,524 You never know. Crazier things, right? 385 00:17:22,558 --> 00:17:25,026 Terribly sorry. Are you Bill Buckner? 386 00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:27,963 - Yeah. - Herman here is from Boston. 387 00:17:27,997 --> 00:17:30,932 He's a big Red Sox fan and he can't be in the same room with Bill Buckner. 388 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:32,734 I'll have to ask you to please leave. 389 00:17:32,768 --> 00:17:35,436 - I'm terribly sorry. - Are you serious? Are you for real? 390 00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:38,139 - October, 1986, two outs. - Jesus Christ! 391 00:17:38,173 --> 00:17:39,707 Larry, don't worry about it. Hey. 392 00:17:39,741 --> 00:17:41,675 - They can't help themselves. - You're damn right. 393 00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:44,044 Don't let the door go through your legs on the way out, Buckner. 394 00:17:44,078 --> 00:17:47,480 - What a jerk. - I only regret I can't ruin your life before you leave. 395 00:17:47,515 --> 00:17:50,583 Hey, you won two world championships since then. That's not enough for you? 396 00:17:50,617 --> 00:17:53,185 - It should have been three. - It should have been three. 397 00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:56,121 - Don't worry about it. - I don't want to be in your stupid Minyan anyway. 398 00:17:56,156 --> 00:17:58,257 - Stupid Minyan? My uncle died. - How about that? 399 00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,793 I hope there is no afterlife. I hope there's no afterlife. 400 00:18:00,827 --> 00:18:03,095 - Sorry. - Hey, Larry, what about the kishka? 401 00:18:03,129 --> 00:18:04,863 To hell with the kishka. Come on. 402 00:18:09,169 --> 00:18:10,369 - Hey. - Hello. 403 00:18:10,403 --> 00:18:11,804 - Come on in. - Hi, Lar. 404 00:18:11,838 --> 00:18:13,905 Hey. Friend of mine. You might know him. 405 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:16,808 - Does he look familiar? - Very familiar. 406 00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:18,410 Who-- 407 00:18:18,444 --> 00:18:20,379 Mr. Bill Buckner. 408 00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:22,047 - Bill Buckner! - Hey, how you doing? 409 00:18:22,082 --> 00:18:23,649 How did I not-- Oh my God. 410 00:18:23,683 --> 00:18:26,485 - Welcome, Bill Buckner. - Baseball player, right? 411 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,555 - Yeah. This is Susie. - Hi. Come on in. 412 00:18:29,589 --> 00:18:32,191 - Come into our home. - Played for the Dodgers, 413 00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:35,027 - the Cubs, the Red Sox. Anybody else? - Nice to meet you. 414 00:18:35,062 --> 00:18:36,529 Yeah, a little bit with the Angels. 415 00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:38,364 Angels too? How about that? 416 00:18:38,398 --> 00:18:41,234 - Yes, I got it. - This view is awesome. Unbelievable. 417 00:18:41,268 --> 00:18:42,902 We met at a baseball card show. 418 00:18:42,936 --> 00:18:44,737 What were you doing at a baseball card show? 419 00:18:44,772 --> 00:18:47,773 What was I doing? 'Cause somebody has a loving wife 420 00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:52,378 and I picked up a little something for somebody's birthday. 421 00:18:52,412 --> 00:18:54,546 - Come on, let me see. - Guess whose name is on there. 422 00:18:54,581 --> 00:18:56,682 - Guess whose name. - Whose name is on there, huh? 423 00:18:56,716 --> 00:18:58,383 - Who's your fav? - Mookie Wilson? 424 00:18:58,417 --> 00:19:00,285 - Yes. - Oh my God. 425 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,254 Do you have the most thoughtful wife in the world? 426 00:19:02,288 --> 00:19:04,990 - Thank you. - It wouldn't have happened if I didn't go to the show. 427 00:19:05,025 --> 00:19:07,259 - It was my idea. - Yeah, I did go pick it up. 428 00:19:07,293 --> 00:19:09,094 - But it was my idea. - Let me see. Let me see. 429 00:19:09,129 --> 00:19:10,930 - You want to see it? - Yeah, let me see it. Let me see it. 430 00:19:10,964 --> 00:19:12,731 - Hey, Buck, catch. - What?! 431 00:19:12,766 --> 00:19:14,133 - What are you doing? - What the fuck? 432 00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:16,168 - Hey, I'm sorry. Sorry. - What happened? 433 00:19:16,202 --> 00:19:18,470 - I missed it, I'm sorry. - It's in the middle of the street. 434 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,172 Larry, what the hell were you doing? 435 00:19:20,206 --> 00:19:22,675 - What? No. - Why'd you throw it to him? 436 00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:24,910 - You know, we just-- - I thought you were a professional. 437 00:19:24,944 --> 00:19:27,980 - It was a horseshit throw. - No, it was a horseshit catch also. 438 00:19:28,015 --> 00:19:31,617 Hey, Buck, come on. It was a good throw. You bobbled it. 439 00:19:31,651 --> 00:19:34,453 - It was Mookie Wilson, Buckner! - Ooh, Mookie Wilson. 440 00:19:34,488 --> 00:19:35,888 - Yeah. - What'd Mookie do? 441 00:19:35,923 --> 00:19:37,457 - All he hit was a shitty ground ball. - Get the fuck out! 442 00:19:37,491 --> 00:19:39,292 Get out, both of you. You ruined the gift. 443 00:19:39,326 --> 00:19:42,462 - What happened? It was right in your hands. - That was a horseshit throw. 444 00:19:42,497 --> 00:19:45,265 Come on, it was in your hands. How could you miss that ball? Are you serious? 445 00:19:45,299 --> 00:19:47,067 - Shit happens, Larry. - "Shit happens"? 446 00:19:47,101 --> 00:19:48,935 I thought you were a baseball player. 447 00:19:48,969 --> 00:19:51,137 You can't catch a goddamn toss? 448 00:19:53,174 --> 00:19:55,309 - Wow, that was great, huh? - That was really good. Thank you. 449 00:19:55,343 --> 00:19:58,111 So did you drink enough to want to come back to my apartment? 450 00:19:58,146 --> 00:19:59,513 - Yes, I think I did. - Really? 451 00:19:59,547 --> 00:20:01,782 Fantastic. Tonight I'm gonna bring it. 452 00:20:01,816 --> 00:20:03,150 - I'm not joking around. - All right. 453 00:20:03,184 --> 00:20:04,852 The only problem is the car. The seat-- 454 00:20:04,886 --> 00:20:07,487 I just got it out of the shop and it wasn't fixed. 455 00:20:07,522 --> 00:20:09,389 - The seat is still rattling. - Can I sit in it? 456 00:20:09,424 --> 00:20:12,093 - Yeah, you can sit in it. - It's fine. Whatever. It's just a car. 457 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,631 I actually think I'm going to do very well tonight. 458 00:20:17,666 --> 00:20:20,467 - Oh? - I'm just putting it out there. 459 00:20:20,502 --> 00:20:24,971 I'll put the TV on. We'll start watching TV as if we're gonna watch TV. 460 00:20:25,005 --> 00:20:28,841 But I'm really gonna try and put moves on you 461 00:20:28,876 --> 00:20:30,209 while we're watching TV. 462 00:20:30,244 --> 00:20:31,844 - That's sort of how I do it. - Uh-huh. 463 00:20:31,879 --> 00:20:34,046 You're not allowed to just say, "Hey, let's have sex." 464 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,814 You've got to go around it... 465 00:20:35,849 --> 00:20:38,917 Like you're doing something else so you fool the woman. 466 00:20:38,952 --> 00:20:41,721 - Yeah. - It's like a magic trick. It's sleight of hand. 467 00:20:41,755 --> 00:20:44,257 The TV kind of diverts your attention 468 00:20:44,291 --> 00:20:46,793 from what the real agenda is. 469 00:20:46,827 --> 00:20:49,196 Although, does it really? I mean, you know and I know. 470 00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:51,265 I don't know why we have to go through this charade. 471 00:20:51,299 --> 00:20:54,668 Anyway, I don't know. Do you like-- I got some mixed nuts. 472 00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:57,138 - Do you like a mixed nut? - Mm-hmm, yes. Yeah. 473 00:20:57,172 --> 00:21:00,174 People like a mixed nut. Although when I opened up the mixed nuts 474 00:21:00,209 --> 00:21:02,477 they had put some dried pineapple in there. 475 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,379 Are you kidding me with the pineapple? 476 00:21:04,413 --> 00:21:06,214 It doesn't blend well with the mixed nuts. 477 00:21:06,249 --> 00:21:09,050 The dried pineapple is destroying mixed nuts. 478 00:21:09,085 --> 00:21:11,586 For me, give me a chip any day. 479 00:21:11,621 --> 00:21:12,888 - Do you like chips? - Yeah yeah. 480 00:21:12,922 --> 00:21:15,256 - You like a good chip? - Yes. Yes. 481 00:21:15,291 --> 00:21:16,724 What about a dip? 482 00:21:16,759 --> 00:21:18,760 - Do you like a dip as well as a chip? - Yes! Yes! 483 00:21:18,794 --> 00:21:20,662 - You like a chip and a dip? - Yes! 484 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,964 - Right? - Yes! Ooh! 485 00:21:22,999 --> 00:21:25,834 Bad news, I have no dip. 486 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,435 I am so sorry. 487 00:21:27,470 --> 00:21:30,838 - I am completely dipless. 488 00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:32,940 Oh my God, is this a parking space? 489 00:21:32,975 --> 00:21:34,641 Ho ho ho! 490 00:21:34,676 --> 00:21:38,346 This is my lucky day. 491 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,682 Unbelievable. 492 00:21:42,117 --> 00:21:43,785 Would you mind driving me home? 493 00:21:44,854 --> 00:21:46,388 What? 494 00:21:46,423 --> 00:21:49,092 I'm kind of done. I think I need to call it a night. 495 00:21:49,126 --> 00:21:52,429 - Drive you home? - I mean if it's okay. 496 00:21:52,463 --> 00:21:56,033 Why? I thought you were gonna come upstairs. 497 00:21:56,068 --> 00:21:57,535 I'm just kind of ready for bed, you know? 498 00:21:57,569 --> 00:22:00,204 - I'm ready to do the job. - I'm sure you are. 499 00:22:00,238 --> 00:22:02,206 - I'm sure you are. - And I have this theory. 500 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:03,941 Like for golf, when I have a bad round, 501 00:22:03,975 --> 00:22:07,211 my next round is fantastic because I don't care anymore. 502 00:22:07,245 --> 00:22:10,114 I hit the low point. Like, I hit the low point the last time. 503 00:22:10,148 --> 00:22:12,283 And now I know that I stink. 504 00:22:12,317 --> 00:22:13,718 And when I feel I stink I'm good. 505 00:22:13,752 --> 00:22:15,386 Well, let's go for it another night. 506 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:18,189 I am done. 507 00:22:18,223 --> 00:22:21,025 All right. I'll take you home. 508 00:22:24,796 --> 00:22:26,597 So she said she changed her mind. 509 00:22:26,632 --> 00:22:29,033 No man would ever change his mind, I'll tell you that. 510 00:22:29,068 --> 00:22:31,502 I'm very curious to know why she would do that. 511 00:22:31,536 --> 00:22:34,806 Why? I'll tell you why. Because when you're impotent, women treat you like a leper. 512 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,676 You tried to put a noodle in a woman? Women hate that, man. 513 00:22:38,710 --> 00:22:41,912 That's a remarkably idiotic thing that you just said. 514 00:22:41,947 --> 00:22:44,882 But you know, the fact that you're wearing glasses, 515 00:22:44,916 --> 00:22:48,586 I perceive it as a little less idiotic than I normally would. 516 00:22:48,620 --> 00:22:50,087 - It's interesting. - You're damn right. 517 00:22:50,122 --> 00:22:51,722 - I'm making sense. - Slightly less stupid. 518 00:22:51,757 --> 00:22:54,425 - You're making a little sense. - I'm making stupid sense. 519 00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:56,461 Huh? 520 00:22:58,464 --> 00:23:00,598 What the hell is this? 521 00:23:00,633 --> 00:23:03,669 A bill from the therapist? 522 00:23:03,703 --> 00:23:06,972 I think he charged me for talking to him at the card show. 523 00:23:07,007 --> 00:23:09,442 That's something you got to handle, man. You know? 524 00:23:09,476 --> 00:23:11,477 - You want to take a ride? - Where we going at? 525 00:23:11,512 --> 00:23:14,881 - I want to talk to this therapist. - Let's do it. 526 00:23:22,288 --> 00:23:25,023 Mmm. Mmm. 527 00:23:27,125 --> 00:23:29,560 What's with you? 528 00:23:32,130 --> 00:23:34,931 You know what? I think I figured this shit out. 529 00:23:34,966 --> 00:23:38,034 She was getting her rocks off in this damn chair. 530 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:39,436 - Look at me. - Really? 531 00:23:39,470 --> 00:23:41,437 This shit is a moving dildo. 532 00:23:41,472 --> 00:23:44,407 - You mean like a horse? - This chair is a fuck machine. 533 00:23:44,441 --> 00:23:46,776 Man cannot compete with machinery. 534 00:23:46,811 --> 00:23:49,045 No wonder why she didn't come upstairs. 535 00:23:49,079 --> 00:23:51,247 You're damn right. She was coming downstairs. 536 00:23:51,281 --> 00:23:53,649 - You get it? - She was coming downstairs. 537 00:23:53,684 --> 00:23:55,285 - Yes, I get it. - Getting her shit off. 538 00:23:55,319 --> 00:23:58,288 Whatever the fuck you do, you keep her out of this damn car. 539 00:23:58,322 --> 00:24:00,056 You know what this car is? 540 00:24:00,091 --> 00:24:02,292 This car is the other fucking man. 541 00:24:02,326 --> 00:24:05,195 She is cheating on you with this fucking chair. 542 00:24:08,766 --> 00:24:10,567 - Ah. - Larry. 543 00:24:10,601 --> 00:24:12,202 - Hi. - Hi. 544 00:24:12,236 --> 00:24:14,304 I know I don't have an appointment now, 545 00:24:14,338 --> 00:24:16,540 but I got a bill in the mail today. 546 00:24:16,574 --> 00:24:19,443 Am I to understand that you charged me 547 00:24:19,477 --> 00:24:22,413 for talking to me on line at the baseball card show? 548 00:24:22,447 --> 00:24:25,416 - Is that possible? - Well, yes it is. 549 00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:29,120 Dr. Thurgood, we spoke for all of three minutes. 550 00:24:29,154 --> 00:24:31,189 Well, let me just point out to you, Larry, 551 00:24:31,223 --> 00:24:33,625 that sometimes when people suffer with what I might call 552 00:24:33,659 --> 00:24:36,361 the more dramatic forms of narcissism, 553 00:24:36,395 --> 00:24:38,796 they have a hard time gauging how long they've been talking 554 00:24:38,831 --> 00:24:41,065 about their problems or themselves. 555 00:24:41,100 --> 00:24:42,601 Are you saying I'm a narcissist? 556 00:24:42,635 --> 00:24:46,271 Larry, maybe I can help you understand this way. 557 00:24:46,305 --> 00:24:50,508 I had a client. He was quite an illustrious well-known director. 558 00:24:50,543 --> 00:24:53,577 I don't want to reveal who he was, but he did direct "Star Wars." 559 00:24:53,612 --> 00:24:55,312 And he enjoyed 560 00:24:55,347 --> 00:24:57,749 in his repertoire of things that he liked 561 00:24:57,783 --> 00:25:00,385 to see prostitutes. 562 00:25:00,419 --> 00:25:02,887 Now in that particular situation, 563 00:25:02,922 --> 00:25:05,390 if he were to hire a prostitute, let's say for an hour, 564 00:25:05,424 --> 00:25:07,792 - which was normal for him-- - You might as well call him George Lucas. 565 00:25:07,827 --> 00:25:09,561 I mean, that's who directed "Star Wars." 566 00:25:09,596 --> 00:25:11,197 Well, I would never say that. 567 00:25:11,231 --> 00:25:13,332 - I would never say that. - You just told me who it was. 568 00:25:13,367 --> 00:25:16,937 I merely alluded to the fact that he was a well-known director. 569 00:25:16,971 --> 00:25:20,707 Now one of the things that he needed to complete his work-- 570 00:25:20,741 --> 00:25:22,742 Everybody knows who directed "Star Wars." 571 00:25:22,777 --> 00:25:24,778 Not everyone is in show business, Larry. 572 00:25:24,812 --> 00:25:26,746 - Okay, go ahead. - My point is-- 573 00:25:26,781 --> 00:25:30,217 - God knows what you're saying about me. - No one asks about you. 574 00:25:30,251 --> 00:25:32,620 I didn't ask about George Lucas but you just brought him up. 575 00:25:32,654 --> 00:25:35,656 I merely said a well-known director. And here's my point. 576 00:25:35,690 --> 00:25:38,058 He used to frequent prostitutes. 577 00:25:38,093 --> 00:25:40,827 And very often he would hire them for an hour, 578 00:25:40,862 --> 00:25:42,896 which was their minimum, but it only took him 579 00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:44,664 three or four or maybe five minutes 580 00:25:44,698 --> 00:25:47,033 to complete the shot, if you understand what I'm saying. 581 00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:50,702 However, they considered it fair and he considered it fair 582 00:25:50,737 --> 00:25:53,371 to pay them for the full hour. That was the way they did business. 583 00:25:53,405 --> 00:25:56,273 First off, I'm appalled by what you just said to me. 584 00:25:56,308 --> 00:25:57,875 He has a right to do what he wants. He's an adult. 585 00:25:57,909 --> 00:25:59,343 It's supposed to be confidential. 586 00:25:59,377 --> 00:26:01,111 - It is. - You're not supposed to be telling people. 587 00:26:01,146 --> 00:26:02,747 It's merely by way of illustration. 588 00:26:02,781 --> 00:26:05,850 My point is that people need various things to help them function. 589 00:26:05,884 --> 00:26:07,952 And my hope was that I was doing that for you. 590 00:26:07,987 --> 00:26:09,721 Well, it's good to see you. 591 00:26:09,755 --> 00:26:11,789 Yes, and congratulations, doctor. 592 00:26:11,824 --> 00:26:14,693 I think you've stumbled upon the perfect analogy 593 00:26:14,727 --> 00:26:16,695 for exactly what you do. 594 00:26:16,729 --> 00:26:19,265 Well, it's somewhere between a hobby and a profession 595 00:26:19,299 --> 00:26:20,633 for me just as it is for them. 596 00:26:20,667 --> 00:26:22,134 - Mm-hmm. - Good seeing you. 597 00:26:22,169 --> 00:26:24,204 Okay. 598 00:26:25,940 --> 00:26:27,941 Whew. You know what? 599 00:26:27,976 --> 00:26:30,411 Let me go in and give it a shot with the glasses on. 600 00:26:30,445 --> 00:26:32,213 I really don't think it's gonna work. 601 00:26:32,247 --> 00:26:34,182 - Let me go give it a shot. - Go ahead, give it a shot. 602 00:26:34,216 --> 00:26:36,851 Give me that bill, man. Fucking around. 603 00:26:38,487 --> 00:26:41,722 Dr. Thurgood, allow me to introduce myself. 604 00:26:48,262 --> 00:26:49,996 Mr. Black, really a pleasure to meet you. 605 00:26:50,030 --> 00:26:51,397 - A pleasure. - See you again I hope. 606 00:26:51,431 --> 00:26:53,532 - Take care. - You too. Bye, Larry. 607 00:26:55,201 --> 00:26:58,203 He tore the bill up, threw it in the garbage. Done. 608 00:26:58,238 --> 00:27:00,306 - What? You're kidding. - No, I'm not kidding. 609 00:27:00,340 --> 00:27:02,208 - Mm, the glasses, baby. - Amazing. 610 00:27:02,242 --> 00:27:03,709 - I told you. - It's a miracle. 611 00:27:03,743 --> 00:27:05,511 Yeah, on top of that shit, check it out. 612 00:27:05,545 --> 00:27:07,847 Mookie Wilson ball. How about that? 613 00:27:07,881 --> 00:27:10,416 Give that to Jeff now. Replace the ball you lost. 614 00:27:10,451 --> 00:27:12,452 See how it works? Ooh! 615 00:27:12,486 --> 00:27:15,155 - He gave you this? - No, I stole it. 616 00:27:20,461 --> 00:27:22,830 - Open up. Open up. - All right. Hey hey. 617 00:27:22,864 --> 00:27:25,233 - Take it easy. Here. - Listen, I need a ride. 618 00:27:25,267 --> 00:27:27,001 I need a ride. I don't want the fucking ball now. 619 00:27:27,036 --> 00:27:29,471 I need a ride. My cousin's building is on fire. 620 00:27:29,506 --> 00:27:31,907 Can you believe this? It's over by the Regency on Park. 621 00:27:31,941 --> 00:27:34,076 - I need a ride. It's an emergency. - You want a ride? 622 00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:37,613 Yeah, I need a ride over to my cousin's building. It's on fire. 623 00:27:37,647 --> 00:27:40,349 Larry, drive me! Just give me a fucking ride, okay? 624 00:27:40,383 --> 00:27:43,218 The building's on fire, Larry. Please, come on. Hurry up. 625 00:27:43,253 --> 00:27:45,854 - Open up. - What's the big deal? It's a fire. 626 00:27:45,888 --> 00:27:47,755 - I need to get there. It's my cousin. - Why? 627 00:27:47,790 --> 00:27:51,225 I need to get over there. What don't you understand about fire? 628 00:27:51,260 --> 00:27:54,662 - I'll pay for a cab. - I don't want to take a cab. 629 00:27:54,696 --> 00:27:56,563 Give me a fucking ride. What's the matter? 630 00:27:56,598 --> 00:27:58,732 Why can't you give me a goddamn ride? 631 00:27:58,766 --> 00:28:00,734 - You know what? I've got it. - Okay, what? 632 00:28:00,768 --> 00:28:02,536 Sit in the back seat. I'll give you a limo ride. 633 00:28:02,570 --> 00:28:05,506 Larry, I don't want a fucking limousine! Just open the fucking door. 634 00:28:05,540 --> 00:28:07,808 - All right, you drive. - I don't want to drive! 635 00:28:07,843 --> 00:28:09,277 I'm hysterical. Don't you see that? 636 00:28:09,311 --> 00:28:10,611 I can't drive. I can't focus. 637 00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:12,713 - She might be-- - All right, all right! Get in the car. 638 00:28:12,747 --> 00:28:14,748 Make such a big fucking deal. 639 00:28:14,782 --> 00:28:17,217 I ask for a little ride across town. 640 00:28:18,887 --> 00:28:21,722 What? What are you waiting for? 641 00:28:21,756 --> 00:28:24,759 Why are you driving like a snail? 642 00:28:31,267 --> 00:28:33,668 No. 643 00:28:33,702 --> 00:28:37,872 No. No. 644 00:28:53,454 --> 00:28:55,188 No. 645 00:29:02,430 --> 00:29:04,697 What the fuck, Larry? 646 00:29:04,732 --> 00:29:07,267 Jesus fucking Christ. Asshole. 647 00:29:07,301 --> 00:29:09,235 - What the hell did you do? - Oh my God. 648 00:29:09,270 --> 00:29:11,470 - It was your fault. - It was not my fault. 649 00:29:11,505 --> 00:29:13,807 - Are you all right? - Oh my God! 650 00:29:13,841 --> 00:29:15,541 - Yeah. - Oh my God! 651 00:29:15,576 --> 00:29:17,276 - Is she all right? - Who cares? 652 00:29:17,311 --> 00:29:20,746 - I'm so sorry. - Hillary! 653 00:29:20,780 --> 00:29:23,015 Jesus, what the hell is going on over here? 654 00:29:23,049 --> 00:29:24,650 Looks like quite a fire. 655 00:29:27,287 --> 00:29:30,022 - Hey, Buck. - Hey, Larry. 656 00:29:30,056 --> 00:29:31,823 - What are you doing? - What are you doing here? 657 00:29:31,857 --> 00:29:34,759 My hotel is just right down the street and I was going for a little walk. 658 00:29:34,793 --> 00:29:36,394 My baby! 659 00:29:36,428 --> 00:29:38,996 Please, somebody help me. 660 00:29:39,031 --> 00:29:41,333 Please help me! My baby! 661 00:29:41,367 --> 00:29:43,902 Please, somebody help me! 662 00:29:43,937 --> 00:29:46,339 - Drop it. - It's safe for a baby. Go ahead, we're ready. 663 00:29:46,373 --> 00:29:48,975 - No, I can't. - We're ready, let's go. We're ready now. 664 00:29:49,009 --> 00:29:52,079 Come on, come on! You can do it. 665 00:29:52,113 --> 00:29:53,781 - Drop it! - Let it go! 666 00:29:53,815 --> 00:29:57,251 - Throw the baby! - I can't! No! 667 00:30:55,944 --> 00:30:57,678 Oh my God! 668 00:30:57,712 --> 00:31:00,047 Oh my God! I can't believe it! 669 00:31:00,081 --> 00:31:03,016 Unbelievable. I've never seen anything like that in my life. 670 00:31:03,050 --> 00:31:05,685 - Nice catch, Bill. - Thanks. 671 00:31:11,458 --> 00:31:14,560 Yeah! Hey, all right! 672 00:31:21,302 --> 00:31:23,702 Well, so... 673 00:31:23,737 --> 00:31:26,339 - How was that? - It was good. 674 00:31:27,708 --> 00:31:29,475 You know what I'd like to do now? 675 00:31:31,278 --> 00:31:35,215 Go for a really long drive. 676 00:31:37,819 --> 00:31:47,721 Sync by ilse Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com