1
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,697
Hold the elevator!

2
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:39,829
Thanks.

3
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:35,519
I can't do it. Larry David, for Dr. Lynch.

4
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,068
Melissa Winnaker, or Winoker.

5
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:49,607
- Marissa.
- That'll do it.

6
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:50,698
Winokur.

7
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,268
The first door on the left.
He'll see you in a minute.

8
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:55,337
- Great, thanks.
- You're welcome.

9
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:02,617
- Excuse me.
- Can I help you?

10
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:06,591
Could you please tell me what time
that woman's appointment was for?

11
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,559
Miss Winokur's, 11:45.

12
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,459
She's after me.
She's supposed to be after me.

13
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:17,469
- She signed in before you, sir.
- I'm 11:30, she's 11:45.

14
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,437
- Why aren't I going...
- She was here first.

15
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:20,996
She signed in first, we saw her...

16
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:25,010
- And my appointment is for 11:30.
- Sir, it was just a few minutes before you.

17
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,670
There's no need to get upset.

18
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:30,045
We have a policy in this office
that you are seen as you sign in.

19
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:32,744
What is it, like a bakery?
You pick a number...

20
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,413
- the first number goes?
- It's first come, first serve.

21
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,082
Why don't you have a ticket?
We can all take numbers.

22
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,093
- Why even give out the appointments?
- Sir, calm down, please.

23
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,152
For this policy,
you don't need appointments.

24
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:45,789
The policy of the office is,
you are seen as you come in.

25
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:49,198
That way, we see as many patients
as possible in a given day.

26
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:50,736
That makes sense, doesn't it?

27
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:53,431
- No, it doesn't make any sense.
- I understand.

28
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,033
You're probably having a bad day,
you're in pain, but that is the policy.

29
00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,876
- Do you understand this policy?
- Please don't talk to her, she's busy.

30
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:06,213
I get it. It's no Swiss picnic for me, either.

31
00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:16,584
Did you hear that?

32
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:21,423
Unbelievable. This is their policy, okay.

33
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:24,429
First come, first served, it's unbelievable.

34
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:27,033
Did you hear any of that?

35
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,845
No, we heard it. We just feel like...

36
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:36,313
it's not really necessary
to comment at this particular time.

37
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:39,183
No comment until the time limit is up.

38
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,414
It doesn't matter what time
your appointment is for.

39
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:48,892
Anyone who comes in
ahead of you gets your spot.

40
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,793
That's how they do it here.

41
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:52,330
I'm telling you.

42
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:55,866
What? What do you have to say, nothing?

43
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:59,496
People at doctor's offices can't talk,
is that a rule?

44
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:01,365
Excuse me.

45
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:05,502
I'm sorry to bother you,
but I did a nice thing for you.

46
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,978
I held the elevator for you,
so you can get on first.

47
00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:10,641
- And then I was a gentleman, I let you out.
- Right.

48
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,618
You came down the hall,
you wouldn't let me get by you...

49
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:16,484
- I wouldn't let you get by me?
- You signed in ahead of me.

50
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:18,888
I was here before you,
of course I signed in ahead.

51
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:21,358
My appointment was for 11:30,
yours for 11:45.

52
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:25,090
You know what time my appointment was?
Why do you care what time it was?

53
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,428
What were you doing in there
for 40 minutes?

54
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,025
What was going on in there?
What, were you chatting?

55
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,503
Talking about old times, what was that?

56
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:37,332
It's not right.
You're in a doctor's office, don't chitchat.

57
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:41,847
Don't ask him how his day was.
You know, let him examine you, you go out.

58
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:45,678
- Mr. Dobb, Lurry Dobb.
- That's Larry David.

59
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:48,618
Mr. David, the doctor will see you now.

60
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:51,923
That's very special, isn't it?

61
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,287
- Thank you.
- Thank you for your patience.

62
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:59,456
- Yes, it's been quite a nice time.
- Right here, Room 4.

63
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,693
What's this, another half hour now?

64
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,568
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure, what's up?

65
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,133
What's with your waiting room policy?
I don't get it.

66
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,509
You're the first person who hasn't liked it.

67
00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:17,071
- Nobody's mentioned this to you?
- No, they love it.

68
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,176
You got to do something about this.
I mean, it's really...

69
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,983
- I'll make a note.
- I've been waiting so long.

70
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:27,288
I'm late for an appointment
with Diane Keaton and it's important.

71
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,520
- Diane Keaton?
- Yes.

72
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:29,822
What is that about?

73
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,593
- She's very interested in doing my script.
- Good for you, Larry.

74
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,394
- That's exciting.
- Yeah.

75
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,362
- The script that my wife read.
- She read it?

76
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,873
- My wife read that script.
- Really?

77
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,475
Did she say anything?

78
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:50,744
No. She read it, though. I saw her reading it.

79
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,545
- She's a good lawyer.
- Yeah, good lawyer.

80
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:58,078
- What do you got for me today? What's this?
- I jammed my finger.

81
00:05:58,157 --> 00:06:00,853
- How'd you do that?
- You know the comedian, Richard Lewis?

82
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,418
- Sure.
- We had a fight over some bracelet...

83
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,191
in front of a jewelry store.

84
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:07,755
Yeah, how does that feel?
You okay with that?

85
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,665
- How about that?
- Yeah, it's fine.

86
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:12,102
- What is this?
- It's... My wife made a splint.

87
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:14,332
- Your wife?
- It's a plastic knife.

88
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,671
Were you at a picnic
when you hurt yourself?

89
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,040
Nothing hurts. You're all set.

90
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,547
Lose the splint, unless you saved the fork
and you got yourself a pair.

91
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:24,742
- All right, Larry, see you.
- Do I have to pay for this?

92
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,154
- Hello.
- Hi.

93
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:36,417
Okay, that's $3.

94
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,504
- I need $3.
- I don't think I have any money.

95
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:51,202
- Did you look in your little change thing?
- I don't have it, it would be in my wallet.

96
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,540
My drawer needs $3, I'm sorry.

97
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:57,479
You know what? My lawyer's here,
my doctor's here, I'll be back on Friday.

98
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,383
Okay, I hear that all the time.
I need the money.

99
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:02,785
- Can you lay it out for me?
- You don't have $3?

100
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:05,756
I don't have it, I'm out of cash.
I'm an honest person.

101
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:09,784
I'll pay you back, I promise.
I'll pay you back $5, okay?

102
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,561
I'll give you $5 back on Friday, I promise.

103
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,224
- Do you promise?
- I promise.

104
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,392
- Will you be here on Friday?
- Yes, I will be here.

105
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,937
I will pay you on Friday.

106
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,803
- I recognize you, okay?
- Please believe me.

107
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:25,332
This my own money, I put it in drawer.
Okay, you owe me $3.

108
00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:26,844
- Do you believe me?
- Yeah.

109
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:28,403
- I will pay you.
- You better.

110
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,075
I will, okay, thank you very much.

111
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,708
- Thank you.
- Welcome.

112
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,811
Hey, I remember your face!

113
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,463
Yeah, she left.

114
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,674
I kept her here as long as I could.
What happened?

115
00:07:57,743 --> 00:08:00,576
- I got held up at a doctor's office.
- Are you okay?

116
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,241
Let me tell you something,
my days of elevator etiquette are over.

117
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:08,714
I'm not holding doors anymore,
not letting women out first anymore.

118
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:11,814
- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- That's why I'm late.

119
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:15,622
I let a woman out first, she got in the office
and took 45 minutes and...

120
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:18,459
I don't know what to tell you.
She said, "I don't know...

121
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:21,398
- "if I can work with someone who's late."
- She said that?

122
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:24,561
She's not gonna do it.
That's all, I don't mean to...

123
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:25,797
What are you doing?

124
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,999
- I'm testing my finger.
- All right.

125
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,937
- All I'm telling you is, it doesn't look good.
- I can't call her?

126
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:35,412
- You know what? I suggest you write a note.
- I'm writing like Tarzan.

127
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,381
- You know, I can't.
- Well, try.

128
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,385
It doesn't look good,
that's all I'm saying to you.

129
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:45,022
- This her tea?
- That's her tea.

130
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:48,884
She's so perfect for this thing, too. Perfect.

131
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,759
I know. We'll try. I'm not gonna give up.

132
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,425
- You want something to eat?
- I'm just gonna get going.

133
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,870
- All right.
- You know what? Do you have any money?

134
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:15,717
- Hey!
- Hi, you're just in time!

135
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:20,122
I'd like you to meet
our new interior decorator, Carmen.

136
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:25,458
- He's surprised. You don't tell him?
- No, I heard rumblings about it...

137
00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:29,729
- Relax, you are in good hands, believe me.
- Am I, really? I've heard that many times.

138
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:33,397
You have more skin color
than I thought you would.

139
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,997
- Really?
- Really, you're not so pale.

140
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,908
I thought you will be so pale.
He will look so nice in...

141
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:40,912
I'm a very vivacious man.

142
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,649
She want the earth tone, Larry.
I think earth tone is over.

143
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:49,484
- Boo on earth tones, that is so passé.
- You want something to stimulate you?

144
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,750
- Yes.
- I'm a pastel man.

145
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,523
He's teasing you all the time.

146
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,359
- I'm being serious.
- I don't see the book I need here.

147
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,956
How was your meeting with Diane Keaton?

148
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,431
I was late. She left.

149
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,462
- So, you didn't get to meet her at all?
- No.

150
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:11,135
- That's too bad, that's my client.
- Diane Keaton's your client?

151
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:13,678
She's very nice.

152
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:15,971
For years, I know her.

153
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,642
I think there's a message
for you from her, actually.

154
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,709
- From Diane Keaton?
- She left a message.

155
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,879
- You're kidding.
- I haven't listened to it...

156
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,253
but I was in the other room and I heard it.

157
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,783
<i>Larry, it's Diane Keaton.</i>

158
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:33,389
<i>I don't know what happened today.</i>
<i>I hope everything is okay.</i>

159
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,629
<i>Listen, anyway, if you wanna try again,</i>
<i>give me a call at home.</i>

160
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:40,171
<i>My number is 310-276...</i>

161
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,632
<i>...7.</i>
- What?

162
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:45,199
- I didn't get that. I got the 310 part.
- I don't know.

163
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:49,008
- The stupid cell phone.
- The signal failed, that's what that's called.

164
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:52,107
- That happens with a cell phone.
- Do you have her number?

165
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:55,278
- I have the number.
- Would you give me her number?

166
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,921
I can't do that, Larry.

167
00:10:56,989 --> 00:11:00,982
- I can't give you Diane Keaton's number.
- Why not?

168
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,925
She left it on the machine. You heard her.

169
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,486
That's a privacy thing with my client.
I can't do that.

170
00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:09,432
She doesn't have to know you gave it to me
because she left it on my machine.

171
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,096
- I can't give it to you.
- She doesn't feel comfortable...

172
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,800
- Comfortable? She left it on the machine.
- I am loyal to my client.

173
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:19,072
There's no question of loyalty here!
She's given me her number!

174
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:23,081
Let me explain something to you.
I can't give you everything about her.

175
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,515
I mean, Larry, that's a standard thing.

176
00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:29,350
That's why I'm with her so many years.
I am sorry, I can't give you the number.

177
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,789
I'm not going to give the number.
That's not the way I work.

178
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:37,993
<i>- So, you fired Carmen?</i>
- Yeah.

179
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,691
<i>That's great. So, now what?</i>

180
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,165
Sorry, I got to hang up,
I'm at the lawyer's now.

181
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,326
<i>Fine.</i>

182
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,834
- Hello.
- Hi.

183
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,997
Do you know...

184
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,669
There's an Asian woman who works here?

185
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,769
- Yeah, Joanna.
- Okay, great.

186
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:57,144
Could you do me a big favor?
I owe her money, okay?

187
00:11:57,783 --> 00:12:00,980
I owe her $3, and I wanna pay her back.

188
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:05,353
I'm gonna give her $10.
I'm giving her $7 more, all right?

189
00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:08,857
Just tell her that
it's from the bald guy with the glasses.

190
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,896
We can't take money from people.

191
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:13,761
No, all you're doing is giving it to her.

192
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,101
- It's policy.
- What kind of policy?

193
00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:19,729
For parking we take the money,
but not from...

194
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:21,170
That's a policy?

195
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,901
You can't give your friend money?
That's a strange policy.

196
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:27,036
- I can't be held responsible.
- I'm not holding you responsible.

197
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:30,105
- Just give her the...
- Okay, I'm not responsible.

198
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:34,051
You're not responsible,
but I'm asking you to do me a favor.

199
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,647
I owe her money, I might not see her,
and I wanna make sure she gets paid.

200
00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:40,556
- I will give her this from you?
- Thank you, and it's $10.

201
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,787
It's $7 more than I'm supposed to give her.

202
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,830
- Your name?
- Forget name.

203
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:48,798
- Tell her the bald guy with the glasses.
- The bald man with the glasses is you?

204
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,563
Unfortunately, that's me.

205
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,995
- It's a good look.
- Yeah, thanks.

206
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,700
Anyway, thanks a lot.

207
00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:01,002
- I can trust that you'II...
- I will give it to her.

208
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,411
Thank you.

209
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,085
Hey, hold the door!

210
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,420
I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you.

211
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:20,260
I'm sorry. I gave the money to...

212
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:27,698
- What's this?
- Hi.

213
00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:32,734
Is this your new office?
How come you're not in your office?

214
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,838
- No. My office is being painted.
- Where should I sit?

215
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:38,139
Anywhere you want.

216
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:42,950
- As far away from you as possible.
- That's very nice. Thank you, very nice.

217
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:47,117
I'll sit by the door, in case
you come after me, and I can run out.

218
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,718
Larry, I ran into Diane Keaton's agent.

219
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,159
What is that? What are you doing?

220
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,995
Because I took so long
in your husband's office that day...

221
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:59,197
he kept me waiting for 45 minutes
because of his ridiculous...

222
00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:02,638
waiting policy that he has,
I missed my appointment with Diane Keaton.

223
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,665
You know, she's angry.

224
00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:07,109
You missed the meeting,
and didn't return her call.

225
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,044
Don't worry, Jeff set up another meeting.

226
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:12,049
I'll straighten everything out.
I'm a master of supplication.

227
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:15,211
All right, that's good.
There's something else I've to tell you.

228
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:18,222
- I can't remember...
- I have something to talk to you about.

229
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:23,922
Actually I got a bill from you for $1,500.

230
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,322
I thought I was all paid up
and everything, 'cause...

231
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:29,867
Right. It's for reading your script.

232
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,728
That's a joke, right?

233
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:35,562
No.

234
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,642
- You're not kidding.
- Are you kidding?

235
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:43,970
No, I am not kidding.
I read your script, I billed you.

236
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,040
Wait a second, you read my script?

237
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:49,485
- Right, that's...
- Then you charge me for reading my script?

238
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,046
I'm sorry, but that's standard practice.

239
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:55,159
I think I charged $1,500, that's three hours...

240
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:59,527
- and it took me four hours to go through it.
- I'm sorry for taking up your time.

241
00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:03,261
You know what? Quite frankly,
I should have read it, because it needs work.

242
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:06,532
I am not interested
in your creative input about anything.

243
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,802
I'm sorry to tell you this,
but I also gave notes on it.

244
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:11,365
I'm gonna bill you for that, too.

245
00:15:11,443 --> 00:15:12,603
- Really?
- Yes, I am.

246
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:16,045
I'm gonna take those notes,
and I'm gonna shove them up my own ass.

247
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,675
That sarcasm is not working for me at all.

248
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,481
I'll tell you what's not working for me: You.

249
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:23,350
- You know what else?
- Am I being fired?

250
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:26,255
You're gonna have a tough time
collecting the $1,500.

251
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:29,158
I suggest you talk to my new lawyer, okay?

252
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,586
Try calling my new lawyer.

253
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:39,868
Lexus man!

254
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,968
I see you! Don't you try to run away!

255
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,873
- No.
- You try not to pay me!

256
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,309
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did!

257
00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:47,902
Listen for a second.

258
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,313
I already gave the attendant upstairs
$10 for you.

259
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:54,409
- You are lying, I want my money.
- Ask him.

260
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:57,319
- You saw me, you try to ditch me.
- That's not true.

261
00:15:57,389 --> 00:16:00,825
I'm sitting here and elevator, and...
Liar, the elevator!

262
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,051
I didn't know it was you!

263
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,924
- How many people look like me?
- I don't know, a lot of people look like you.

264
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:10,526
I know that face, that honest glasses face.
It's the face of a liar!

265
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:13,196
It's not a face of a liar!
That's not nice and not true!

266
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:16,469
Lying man! Liar, liar, pants on fire!

267
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:20,636
What do you think, I was born yesterday?
Come on, buddy, cough it up!

268
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,514
That's better.

269
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,646
Got change for a $20?

270
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:31,814
I don't have anything,
because I gave my last $3 to you!

271
00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:33,357
I already...

272
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,659
- Thank you very much.
- You got $30 from me now.

273
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:42,167
- I have $20 now, $20. Yeah.
- Your friend upstairs has $10, too.

274
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:45,870
- $30 you got from me!
- I heard you!

275
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,087
$2.20 please.

276
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,722
Oh, my God, you know what? I gave the $20.

277
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,696
- I just saw Joanna...
- I remember you.

278
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,995
I gave her my last $20 and...

279
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:19,728
I need the other $10 now.
Excuse me, I'm gonna need the other $10.

280
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:22,637
It's $2.20 for now, for parking.

281
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:25,470
- And then what?
- I already paid her in the garage.

282
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,876
I paid her the money I owe her.
I gave her $20.

283
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:29,880
I owed her $3 and I paid her $20...

284
00:17:29,948 --> 00:17:33,440
so I need the $10 back now,
because I paid her the $20.

285
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:37,250
- This is why I don't do favors for people.
- But listen, sir...

286
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,158
- Please!
- Sir, I'm an honest person.

287
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,387
- I'm telling you...
- I'm honest person.

288
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:45,794
Remember this?
You told me to give this to her?

289
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,799
That's what I'll do.
All I need from you is $2.20 and we done.

290
00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:51,062
But I gave you the money,
so give it back to me.

291
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,569
Let's pretend it never happened.

292
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,732
Go back an hour
and pretend this never happened, okay?

293
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:56,900
Go back an hour?

294
00:17:56,975 --> 00:18:00,103
- Pretend I never came in.
- When I don't want to take the money?

295
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:03,444
You say, "Take money to give to her"?
I promise you I give her money.

296
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:05,176
I need...

297
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,945
Excuse me, please!

298
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:09,279
How do I know now
that you pay her money?

299
00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:10,616
I'll get your money.

300
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:13,021
You get me money.
You never have money for parking.

301
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,390
You have a beautiful car,
but no money for parking.

302
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:18,055
This is the second time
you don't have money for parking.

303
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,462
You think you can loan me $2.20?

304
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:25,169
He's just not gonna let me out.
I'm just out of money.

305
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:32,609
- Maybe make it a $5. Great, okay.
- Larry, don't touch my car.

306
00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:36,272
You know what? I'll give you back $10.
I'll make it worth your while.

307
00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:38,976
$10, I promise. Thank you.

308
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:50,951
- Where you been? You're late.
- I had problems in the garage with a woman.

309
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:53,793
- I didn't have money for parking.
- It's always the parking.

310
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,198
I'm convinced
you don't want to meet Diane Keaton.

311
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:59,601
- I'm here, aren't I?
- You're here, but you're a half hour late.

312
00:18:59,671 --> 00:19:01,536
What are you thinking?

313
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:06,177
The guy wouldn't give me back my own $10.

314
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,906
- Hi, are you Larry?
- Yes.

315
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,039
Great, Diane's been waiting, come on in.

316
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:12,208
- Thank you.
- Hi, Jeff Greene.

317
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,080
Hi, Kim, I'm Diane's assistant.

318
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,986
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Larry, is that you?

319
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:19,450
Hi, Diane, I'm sorry I'm late.

320
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,016
Don't worry about it, okay?
I'll be right down.

321
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,891
Make yourself at home, all right?

322
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:27,188
- You can take a seat over here and wait.
- Okay, thank you.

323
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:30,167
Can I get you anything to drink,
some coffee, water, juice?

324
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,430
- No, thank you.
- I'm fine, thank you.

325
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,029
- Okay, just let me know if you need...
- Okay.

326
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:41,235
Did she have an attitude,
or is it my imagination?

327
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:44,305
- She had an attitude. Big time.
- She did, didn't she?

328
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:49,046
What are you looking at?

329
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,146
That lamp looks very familiar.

330
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:55,156
Thank you! I'll see you in a week.

331
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:57,889
Okay, Diane, I'll call you
when I get the material.

332
00:19:57,963 --> 00:19:59,191
Bye-bye.

333
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,234
Of course.

334
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:08,899
When she told me a "Larry" kept her waiting,
I should have known it was you.

335
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,465
You fire me, that's fine.
You don't have any taste...

336
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,376
you don't want my service, it's fine.
But you owe me a check.

337
00:20:14,446 --> 00:20:17,313
And I expect to get paid.
So I want the check today.

338
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:21,318
- Okay, you should have gotten the check...
- Larry, I don't receive the check.

339
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,014
Please, I am a reasonable person.
I want the check today.

340
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:26,319
- My business manager mailed it.
- I want it now.

341
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:28,689
- You want me to write a check, now?
- You fire me?

342
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,422
I have a reputation,
and I have a history with Diane...

343
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,191
I don't have a check on me.

344
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:36,132
- Quiet down, will you?
- You tell me to be quiet?

345
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,999
- Will you quiet down?
- I'll tell Diane not to work with you.

346
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,165
- You'll get your check.
- Listen to me! Don't tell me to shut up.

347
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,765
I don't carry checks on me.

348
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:46,037
- Stop that!
- Give me my money!

349
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,845
- Larry!
- Stop it!

350
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,381
Don't, Larry!

351
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,344
Larry, you're an animal!

352
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:03,521
Hi, Diane.

353
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:33,725
- Excuse me, do you have change for $20?
- Sorry.

354
00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:38,429
Do you have any change on you?
I need money. No?

355
00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:40,827
Do you have any change on you?
Just a quarter?

356
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:42,764
You can't spare a quarter?

357
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:57,414
Hold the elevator, please?

358
00:23:28,306 --> 00:23:29,705
How you doing?

359
00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:32,336
Bad finger.

360
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:36,204
<i>Bad finger</i>

361
00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:38,781
<i>He's the man</i>

362
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:42,581
<i>the man with the Midas touch</i>

363
00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:46,119
<i>A spider's touch</i>

364
00:23:46,191 --> 00:23:47,988
- Marissa Winnaker?
- Yeah.

365
00:23:48,059 --> 00:23:51,392
Winokur? Dr. Lynch is ready to see you.
Room 8.

366
00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:53,324
Thanks.

367
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:59,770
I don't understand. What's going on?
I came in before her, I signed in the sheet.

368
00:23:59,838 --> 00:24:02,568
You'll be happy to know
they've changed policy.

369
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:03,733
Changed policies?

370
00:24:03,809 --> 00:24:07,836
Now we see people on the basis of their
appointment time and not their arrival time.

371
00:24:07,913 --> 00:24:10,643
One person complains,
everything gets changed?

372
00:24:10,715 --> 00:24:12,580
This was based on your idea the other day.

373
00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:15,677
Why are you listening to me?
I don't know what I'm talking about.

374
00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:19,815
So it's not about the policy at all.
It's more just about you going first?

375
00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:23,292
- Exactly.
- So, if you go first, whatever policy that is...

376
00:24:23,361 --> 00:24:26,023
That's a good policy, me first,
that's the policy.

377
00:24:26,097 --> 00:24:28,497
From now on,
you know what we'll have in this office?

378
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:30,432
- The "You First" policy.
- Thank you.

379
00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:32,163
- Does that make you happy?
- Yes.

380
00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:33,226
Right after today.

381
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:34,533
Have a seat, read a magazine.

382
00:24:34,606 --> 00:24:37,666
Doctor will be with you in a few minutes,
thank you.

383
00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:46,776
So, you know
they changed the policy, right?

384
00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:49,153
Used to be first come, first served.

385
00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:50,950
Now, it's appointment.

386
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,381
Really?

387
00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:55,551
That's fascinating, I didn't know that.
No, it's true.

388
00:24:58,063 --> 00:25:00,691
Congratulations, she emerges.

389
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:04,693
What are you doing in there
for 45 minutes anyway? Are you okay?

390
00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:15,172
Lassie Maven?

391
00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:23,851
I'm sorry,
I didn't realize that was you, Mr. Doff.

392
00:25:23,922 --> 00:25:25,719
Right this way.

393
00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:30,423
Doctor will be right in to see you.

394
00:25:37,836 --> 00:25:39,701
- Hi, Larry.
- Hi.

395
00:25:40,438 --> 00:25:43,305
So what happened to the policy?

396
00:25:43,675 --> 00:25:47,941
We changed the policy after we had
the discussion at the beginning of the week.

397
00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:50,071
- Just like that?
- Just like that.

398
00:25:50,148 --> 00:25:52,810
M. D: "Makes Decisions." What have we got?

399
00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:57,453
- The finger, still bothering you?
- Much worse.

400
00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:59,557
- What happened?
- I got in a fight.

401
00:25:59,624 --> 00:26:02,889
- Wasn't the first incident a fight as well?
- Be very careful there.

402
00:26:02,961 --> 00:26:04,929
- This is another fight?
- Yeah.

403
00:26:05,263 --> 00:26:08,699
- And who, same person?
- No, an interior decorator.

404
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,195
You're fighting interior decorators?

405
00:26:11,269 --> 00:26:15,933
And I also had an altercation
in the hall with one of your patients.

406
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,968
When's the next fight?
Maybe I'd like to see it.

407
00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:20,968
Very sorry, and when I do this?

408
00:26:21,046 --> 00:26:23,344
- Same thing, worse when I do this?
- Yes.

409
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:26,509
You have fractured it. It's a hairline fracture.

410
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:29,418
- It's a small one, but it is fractured.
- Really?

411
00:26:30,188 --> 00:26:32,679
So, what are we gonna do?
What do you do?

412
00:26:32,958 --> 00:26:35,256
Well, I can't do anything right now.

413
00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:38,319
I can't do anything, Larry,
until you pay my wife's fee...

414
00:26:38,396 --> 00:26:40,261
and my fee, in advance.

415
00:26:40,899 --> 00:26:43,094
That's the way we're gonna do this.

416
00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:49,236
Let me tell you something, okay, John?
I didn't ask her to read that script.

417
00:26:49,307 --> 00:26:51,537
- She read the script.
- She didn't have to read it.

418
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,475
- She did read it, though.
- Who told her to?

419
00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:56,776
She read it as a professional courtesy
to you, as a friend of yours.

420
00:26:56,848 --> 00:27:00,284
That's some courtesy. I'd like to get
courtesy like that from everybody.

421
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:01,478
I'll be in the poorhouse.

422
00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:04,522
You'd be lucky if you did.
She took the time from her day.

423
00:27:04,589 --> 00:27:07,217
She made some significant notes
on that script.

424
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:09,522
Who gives a shit? I didn't ask her to read it.

425
00:27:09,594 --> 00:27:13,052
I don't want her notes. I don't care
about her notes. I don't need them.

426
00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:14,723
Do you care about the finger?

427
00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:17,597
Here's what'll happen with that, pal of mine.

428
00:27:17,669 --> 00:27:20,536
Her money up-front, my money now,
then we look at the finger.

429
00:27:20,605 --> 00:27:24,132
How do you feel about that?
'Cause that's the game we're playing now.

430
00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:26,374
Do you need a couple of minutes?

431
00:27:26,444 --> 00:27:29,345
'Cause I got some patients
I could look at out there.

432
00:27:29,414 --> 00:27:33,350
- You know what? This is embarrassing.
- Yeah. You should be embarrassed.

433
00:27:33,418 --> 00:27:35,113
Not embarrassed for me.

434
00:27:35,553 --> 00:27:38,021
Give me a few minutes,
I'll be back, and we'll fix it.

435
00:27:38,089 --> 00:27:39,989
Hey, you're gonna get miles.